In this week’s episode, join Alicia Watson as she talks about the importance of learning to say no. Alicia will encourage listeners to implement saying no in their lives with scriptures and stories. This episode is full of relatable situations in Alicia's life that have occurred over the past year. You will leave this episode with some tools on how to start saying no to others and yes to yourself!
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!
Maybe you're like me and you need something tangible to navigate life's tough seasons. It's important to have the strategy and resources to come out on top. Take this short quiz to be matched with a tool you can use to flourish no matter what life has thrown your way: https://bit.ly/overcomersquiz
In this week’s episode, join Alicia Watson as she talks about the importance of learning to say no. Alicia will encourage listeners to implement saying no in their lives with scriptures and stories. This episode is full of relatable situations in Alicia's life that have occurred over the past year. You will leave this episode with some tools on how to start saying no to others and yes to yourself!
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!
Maybe you're like me and you need something tangible to navigate life's tough seasons. It's important to have the strategy and resources to come out on top. Take this short quiz to be matched with a tool you can use to flourish no matter what life has thrown your way: https://bit.ly/overcomersquiz
1 (4s):
You're listening to Maybe, You're like Me, the transparent musings of a God Girl chasing after her purpose. Maybe you're like me as a podcast for dreamers and doers who take life's lessons and level up to look more like Christ. We'll connect through super relatable stories, growing pains and aha moments that most of us share, just not always out loud. I'm your host, Alicia, Watson, creative entrepreneur, playwright, author, wife, mother, daughter of the king, and so much more. And I can't help but to think that Maybe You like me.
2 (43s):
Hey. Hey, beautiful people. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Maybe You Like me. It's been so long since I've said that like that, like legit over a year since I dropped an episode of this podcast. And I miss y'all. I hope you miss me too. So what happened? I had a year now, that's what happened. I hit a wall last summer. I ran outta gas. There was no pushing through and no pressing on. I was over here tapping my empty pockets, like I ain't got it. I didn't have passion, compassion, insight, patience, trust, hope, energy, baby, whatever it was or what it could be. I was short, short, do you hear me? And I think it all culminated with a visit to my doctor.
2 (1m 25s):
I had put on weight really quickly and I didn't know why or how because I wasn't eating any differently and I was actually working out. But what I didn't know was that stress and a lack of sleep will affect your weight too. And with that, the wake gain also put me at a high risk for some different health issues, which was new for me because I've always been internally healthy, whether I was heavy or not. So that was also a factor in my year of no needing to prioritize myself and pay more attention to the fact that I was about to let life and how it was lifeing literally take my life. So something had to drastically change. And I knew through all of my work on my mental health that that changed needed to come through me. So I turned my focus to rest mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
2 (2m 9s):
I stopped taking clients in my business at my regular capacity. I created a new service that worked with my new pace. I filled those slots and then I spent three to four days a week at the pool with my kids because I love water. And that just gave me peace. And I stopped podcasting here, which was good for me because I didn't want to like dump all over the podcast. Like I like to keep this space really light and flowy. I spoke up more. I was more confrontational. I was more clear, more decisive. I care less about what people thought of me and I was just more empathetic to my myself and my own feelings. But the best thing I did for myself throughout that year, no, was to actually say no, especially to things I would usually guilt myself into saying yes to like celebrations and volunteering and being helpful and showing up for people.
2 (2m 58s):
And I feel like that's something truly that a lot of women wives and mothers in particular struggle with just not saying no. What we don't realize is that a yes to others is a no to ourselves, a no to our needs, our intentions, like what we plan to do with our free time and our free money and sometimes to our peace. So it really felt counterintuitive at the time, but like I said, my cup was on empty. I couldn't really ignore it anymore. So I really honestly didn't have any yeses to give without causing more damage to myself. So for the first time, and like ever, I was basically forced to turn my focus inward and treat myself like I wanted other people to treat me even if they didn't understand it.
2 (3m 39s):
And even if they weren't used to it, it was a necessary part of my healing journey. And I am in a much, much better place than I was last year for it. We all know that you can't pour from an empty cup and If you do give, that you should give out of your overflow, right? But knowing that and putting that in practice are two different things. So I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. It was hard emotionally, it was a wild season. And at first I wondered if God was even still with me in it. A while back, I saw a random video of a couple having a domestic dispute, and it was like it was really a mess. The woman was trying to hit the guy with her car. She ran into the side of a roll house, then she backed up and tried to hit him again. There's yelling and screaming and drama and everything, right?
2 (4m 22s):
But during the video there's a person just walks down the street casually and through the scene like nothing is happening, just unbothered. I straight ahead face blank unconcerned y'all. That's how I felt like I was reacting to what was going on in my life and in my emotions, just unbothered, not intervening, just letting it happen and letting people, people all over me. But eventually I had to remind myself of James one, two through four, where it says, Consider it pure joy. My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
2 (5m 3s):
Perseverance is the continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure or opposition. Now, normally for me, perseverance meant continuing to work and strive and achieve and show up and push through in spite of what was going on in my life and in my head. But in reality, it took more strength and more determination for me not to do all of that. It was more of a struggle to prioritize myself and my health regardless of what others might feel or need or expect. I talked about having to stop being a people pleaser in episode 29 of the podcast and about doing things from love and not for love, doing things from love and not for love. Did you catch that?
2 (5m 44s):
But what I really had to process was all the trauma that happened when I didn't do it for love and didn't receive that love, or when I loved and got betrayed, or when I had expectations of people and they didn't live up to them. When I stopped my constant motion and things got quiet and soft, it all hit me at once. Every unprocessed brushed over excused interaction from like the last 20 years started to weigh on me, and it started to torment me. It was tearing me up mentally. And when it started to affect me physically, I really had to take the Lord at his word. In Matthew 1128, he says, Come to me all you who are weary and burden and I will give you rest.
2 (6m 25s):
What I had become weary and burden about was trusting others before I had learned to truly trust myself. So I learned to fully love myself through Secret Donuts, my book. But through this season, I had to learn to trust myself, to give myself what I wanted and what I needed. I trusted God, but I still had a hard time trusting others and that he would protect me from others. So I would say yes when I wanted to say no. And that was to say safe, which ended up feeling like self betrayal after a while. And I'm not talking about putting confidence in my flesh. Instead, I needed to trust my intuition, and that's still small voice of the Holy Spirit within me.
2 (7m 5s):
I had to gain trust through action actions that show that the wisdom and revelation I was given during the time of that episode, episode 29 was really true. And If, you haven't listened to that episode, you should go back and listen. It's a really good one. So basically last year I started living a soft life before it was even a thing. It wasn't just soft because I wasn't working as hard, but it was soft because of the way that I was handling myself. And that season of no, that season of setting aside what was expected of me and what was needed of me to just kind of really focus on what I needed of myself really produced a lot of growth and a lot of lessons. So my year of no showed me that I could, number one, say no, and that people would find another way.
2 (7m 47s):
Number two, trust God to show up for people when I couldn't. Number three, say no, and people would still show me grace and be understanding. Number four, I could have healthy confrontations and conversations without having to cancel the whole relationship. Number five, it showed me that I could accept when other relationships have run their course. Number six, it showed me that I could be safe and secure in my father's arms instead of trusting in my yes to keep me safe. And number seven, it showed me that I could allow God to provide for me in every area of my life. Number eight, I learned that I could let others show up for me without feeling the need to reciprocate, just accepting what they want to give.
2 (8m 34s):
And lastly, it showed me that I could simply be without doing, without proving anything and still be loved, accepted, and celebrate it by myself first and then by others. And that's the point. A lot of us are burned out, overwhelmed, overburdened our minds going a thousand miles a minute when we could just say, no, go to God and let him work some things out on our behalf and on the behalf of others. We tend to think that saying no will end a disaster. I'm here to tell you saying no didn't ruin things for me. I still have friends and have made even more new friends and connections. Within the last year, I made more money in my business than ever. I set hard boundaries and infused more authenticity into my relationships.
2 (9m 15s):
I have learned to trust myself and my word to myself. I'm even more confident and more comfortable in my skin. I trusted God with my yeses and my nos, and he made me sit down and he let me rest in him. It reminds me of Son 23, and we all know this. The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his namesake. Even though I walk to the darkest valley, I will fear no eagle, for you are with, you're Ro, your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, You anoint my head with oil.
2 (9m 56s):
My cup overflows. Surely your goodness and your love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. I love that one because I was able to say no to some things. Now I can give an authentic emphatic yes to others. I've learned to be kind rather than just nice. And that truly shifted the dynamics of my relationships with myself and with others. I can trust when God instructs me to fall back and when he tells me to press through, knowing that his timing is perfect, that he protects me, and that he is truly working all things together for my good and for his glory. My cup is fuller and I'm ready to pour out again. So, so if you're like me and you find it hard to say no and to trust that by saying no to the wrong things, you can make room for the right things, then I invite you to try it for yourself, connect with God to see if it's your no season or no week or no day.
2 (10m 52s):
Be vocal about meeting help and about not having capacity. Be kind to yourself and refill your cup without guilt or shame. Trusting that God will do what you can't do or won't do for others. Well, that's all I have for you today. If you're like me, I would love to hear from you. Reach out to me on Instagram at the Alicia Watson sy dm and let's chat If, you know, someone who's like us. Please share this episode with them and please subscribe, rate, and review wherever you listen to your fine. I hope you have an amazing week.