Ep. 57 | ... and you're questioning blind loyalty

Maybe you're like me and you're questioning blind loyalty.

In this episode of I explore themes of personal growth, the importance of questioning blind loyalty, and the need for discernment in relationships. I share my  experiences and insights on pursuing purpose, acting, and the significance of seeking righteousness over simply being right. We reflect on one of my favorite Biblical characters, David, and I encourage listeners to connect with their faith and strive for a deeper understanding of who God is and what he wants instead of blindly following leaders. 

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Transcript

You're listening to Maybe You're Like Me, the transparent musings of a God girl chasing after her purpose. Maybe You're Like Me is a podcast for dreamers and doers who take life's lessons and level up to look more like Christ. We'll connect through super relatable stories, growing pains, and aha moments that most of us share, just not always out loud. I'm your host, Alicia Watson, creative entrepreneur, playwright, author, wife, mother, daughter of the king, and so much more. And I can't help but to think that maybe you're like me. 

Hey, beautiful people. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Maybe You're Like Me with Alicia Watson. Happy Monday. I had a fantastic weekend. Friday was particularly fabulous. Let's see. I went to the doctor and I met a provider there and we just had a really good conversation. I don't know if it's my face or my personality that makes people want to tell me their whole life stories without knowing me, but...

I guess I just really seem trustworthy and kind, but as a sociology major and a storyteller, I am here for it. I am so interested in people, like how they tick, why they do what they do, you know, human behavior. I really didn't mind. Then when I checked my phone after the appointment, I got a Zelle from a settlement that I had put in. I don't know if y'all do this or not, but like whenever I get legit emails and

legitimate mail about some kind of settlement. I always just fill it out. You never know. You never know how much it's going to be or if, you know, I just want all the monies I'm entitled to. Give me my money. You know, that's what I say. So I did have a settlement that came in like two months ago and it was like chump change. It was like nothing, nothing to write home about, nothing to be happy about. mean, additional money is a blessing period, but

This one was actually a little nice nice little check. Like I was really surprised which meant like they were doing some damage over there. And actually you know what the settlement was for is because we were overpaying so I feel like I got a little bit of my money back which is good, justice, you know? It's justice. Let's see what else? I submitted for three acting projects and I got requests for submissions of auditions so

I cut my errands short and I went home and I recorded some self tapes. I had my husband help me. And then he, I had him also submit for some of those same auditions because there was like roles that he could fit. And so he, I, and my son submitted for one, which is pretty cool. Yeah, I pray I get them because each of these seem really fun. And for this year, I have some acting goals in terms of how many roles I want to, how many roles I want to actually get.

Now, my hope is that they're all paid roles because I want acting to be a viable income stream. And I feel legitimized by being paid for my acting. But realistically, acting is something that I just love to do. I would do it for free. I don't intend to always do it for free, but it's just something that brings my heart so much joy that I do not mind doing it. Every opportunity that I get to act and to act in something, someone's project that's really good is something that just brings joy to my heart. anyways, pray for me.

I hope I get these ones because they are paid. But also they just seem really cool and I got goals. I donated some stuff which clears some space for me mentally. I've been in my house for a really long time, almost 16 years or something like that. It's over time we've accumulated a lot of things. I've thrown out some things but in the nooks and crannies and drawers and closets and things like that, there's just lots of stuff taking up space.

And a part of my expansion goal is not necessarily to get out of this house and move into something bigger, but declutter what we have to expand the mental space of the responsibility for managing things that I have in my mind. So the more space I free up of stuff that no longer serves us, stuff we no longer use, like I found a leapfrog iPad or whatever they were called in a drawer the other day. My kids are teenagers. Why do we have this still? They were probably using this when they were like three, four, five, six, seven.

They can read very well. I don't know why I still have this. And it's antiquated tech, so I can't really even give it away to anybody. I just need to clear out things, you know? It's just those little things that are always in the back of your mind that make you feel like there's so much for you to do. that decluttering my physical space is a part of my expansion, expanding the space that I have to not only bring in stuff that I actually like, but just to think and not be responsible for stuff, you know?

But anyways, yeah, Friday was a great day. Saturday was good too. I had client calls, I had a headshot session that went really well. And then I did a bonus actor session for my husband because he got a lineup. He got a fresh lineup and my stuff was set up. So he sat down and we did some headshots for him. fact, I think all of his headshots, maybe with the exception of one in the last, you know, we've been together 17, married 17 years.

I've done all his headshots. So all the work that he secured because of his great acting skills and the headshot that got him in the door was your girls, your girls doing. We're a great team. Sunday was for errands. I had family dinner and we played some games. Overall a really good weekend. I want more of that. I want so much more of that. That feels like more life to me. That feels like joy. That feels like expansion, right? Last week we talked about my word of the year, which is expand. And I'm really leaning into that.

and seeing the benefits. Expansion is requiring me to use my resources wisely, mainly my time since I have so many irons in the fire and so many goals that I've set that I need to be able to know where I'm assigning my time because I only have so much time. But also I'm even monitoring where I've used my brain power, what I'm thinking about, what I'm pondering on, what I'm ruminating on, what I'm talking about, right? Recently, there's been a lot of talk within the Christian community about dresses

and behaviors and just arguing back and forth and taking this side or that side. And it's really got me thinking about what really matters and how do we know what's right or wrong or who's right or wrong? So maybe you're like me and you're questioning blind loyalty. You know, I love a good definition. The word loyal is defined as giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.

Some synonyms for loyal are faithful, devoted, allegiance, steadfast, true blue, patriotic, unwavering. I've been described as loyal. When I'm for you, I'm for you. When I like something, I like something. I don't shift with trends, so I have a hard time even updating my house because I like what I like. And I typically keep the same friends because I like who I like. And sometimes I overstay my time in places or with people because I have hope for them, because I like them, and because I made a commitment.

Most times it's only when I have a reason to doubt people's loyalty towards me that that changes. I expect loyalty, especially if I've been loyal. And, and I respect loyalty. Like, if your friend dislikes me for their reasons, whatever reasons, and now you dislike me for their reasons, whatever reasons, slow clap. Round of applause because...

Yeah, I'm a great person, probably misunderstood sometimes. I might actually have done something to offend them because great is not perfect. But I'm applauding you because you're considering your friends' feelings and taking their side because you're devoted to their safety, their sense of well-being. You're committed to them. I can't knock that. I would want that. But is it always right? Maybe not. Because people aren't always right.

Perspectives aren't always truth. Insecurities and fear and trauma can cloud people's vision, cloud people's perceptions. And you can find yourself aligned with someone or something that God doesn't even approve of, whether it's your parent, your spouse, your friend, your pastor, your president. I mean, just because they hold an important place in your life or an important position in society does not mean that God is with them or condoning their thoughts, their feelings, and or their behaviors. Y'all remember last year around this time?

Katt Williams had a quote that went viral. He said, you having an unnatural allegiance to losers is not like you. Don't hate my cat Williams impression. He said it to Shannon Sharpe, but as I think about this topic, it popped up in my head. Not to call anyone a loser as a pejorative, but a loser as in on the losing team. If your thoughts and behaviors line up with the enemy with the devil and not God's, you've lost. Even if you're someone who claims to be a representative of Christ.

Let's talk about it. Let's talk about Matthew 721 when, from me, you workers of iniquity, I never knew you is what Jesus said to people who were doing things in his name, but not with his stamp of approval. Overall, Jesus got the victory. He won. He's the winner. And that's who we should be constantly working to align ourselves with. That's where our loyalty should lie. We should be loyal to what's right in what's right in God's eyes.

We should be constantly seeking God and allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal to us what that is and who that is. You know what this reminds me of? David. I know, I know, I know, I know. I love me some David as a reference, but it fits, it fits, okay? The story of David demonstrates this in so many ways. What comes to mind is David and Jonathan.

2 Samuel 18 says that Jonathan became one with David in spirit. 18:3 says he made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. And in 18:4, he took the robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt off his own back and gave it to David. When Jonathan's father saw, kept plotting against David, trying to kill the man, Jonathan out of love for David would foil his father's plans and try to save David. He did save David. In 19:4,

It says that Jonathan spoke well of David to his father, even though he know his father hated David and was trying to kill him. He was trying to reason with him. And what that brought about was that eventually Saul's anger turned on Jonathan because he was trying to defend David. And we read about it in first Samuel 20 and 30 where Saul says to Jonathan, you are a son of a perverse and rebellious woman. Don't I know that you've sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you?

As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me for he must die. Now people like to assume funny business between Jonathan and David, but what I read here is a man willing to not only stand aside for what God has planned, but who is also doing his part to make sure that God's will will be done. I myself understand being one in spirit with a friend. I can name

I want to say about four friends throughout my life whom I had a spiritual connection to. I knew it when I met them right away. My baby jumped in my belly, not literally, but my spiritual baby, which let me know that we were to be a part of each other's lives and destinies. You know, we just feel that connection with someone. I have one friend where we literally fight back to back in the spirit. When I'm going through something, she'll be going through the same thing. Maybe a slightly different circumstance, but

the same principalities at work if it's lust, if it's opposition, whether it's attack, whether it's death and grief, I mean, whatever it is, it's always like, we are on the same page. We are really back to back. I don't know how many times we say that. Every time we just update each other, it's like, we're really back to back, but that lets us know that we're purposed in our friendship, not just our earthly friendship, but spiritual partnership to pray for each other and to work to fight for each other in the spirit.

to commit to each other, because we are both on assignment from God. And the spiritual warfare is going on, whether we're aware of it or not. But we're connected, so we know that that is what it is. And we know that we must hold each other up, both here and in the Spirit. I believe that's the way that Jonathan and David were connected. Friends, yes, but friendship with a divine purpose. And if Jonathan was not tapped into that purpose, he could have gone down with his father's sinking ship.

I mean, he did die in battle along with his father while fighting the Philistines, but the covenant he made and kept with David had to count for something with God in eternity. I believe that. And even after he had died, David showed kindness to Jonathan's son, Mephibosheth. So he kept his part of the covenant. In 2 Samuel 9 and 1, David asked if there was anyone left in the house of Saul that he could show kindness for Jonathan's sake. So he hadn't forgotten even after Jonathan was gone.

And so for Mephibba's chef, he restored all of Saul's land to him and gave him a seat at his table to always eat. Mephibba's chef would never go hungry. He'd always have land. He'd always be taken care of because of the covenant that Jonathan and David had had. Even though God had taken his hand off of Saul's family's line, Jonathan's family was blessed through David and the covenant that he made with the winner, because Saul was losing, but David was winning because that's what God wanted.

Jonathan was a prince. He could have been king one day, but he knew God had already chosen David. Even though he was already on the losing team, he decided to jump ship and go to the winning team. He didn't side with his powerful once anointed king of a father, whom I'm sure he loved, whom I'm sure he feared, whom I'm sure he wished that he could side with, but he was more loyal to God and with God's plan. Like Jonathan, we cannot afford to have blind loyalty when claiming to be children of God.

We have to exercise discernment constantly and consistently. Like for example, are you following a pastor whose fruit now doesn't look like that of the spirit anymore? Like when you first joined or when they first started, they had a real pure heart. That's probably what really drew you to them. Like they're going to help people. They're going to make changes. going to do good in the world and you want it to be a part of that. But now the congregation has grown or their responsibilities have increased.

They have to protect what they built or they just have ego and pride and that's turned them into a dictator within the church. Like do they say and do crazy things from the pulpit? Questionable things from the pulpit? Just because they can? Because who's going to check them? Because the only one they answer to is God and somehow it seems like that doesn't scare them? That should scare you. That's an unnatural allegiance for a person who is seeking the kingdom. Am I saying you should leave that church? No.

I'm not saying that. I'm not saying you should stay either. What I am saying is you should be so aligned and tapped into God that when the pastor does and says something wrong, that your spirit is vexed and that you're not one of the ones who are standing up and yelling, yes, as the organ plays with a smile on your face because you're loyal to the person of your pastor or you haven't thought about what they're doing and saying because if the pastor does and says it, must be right. I'm going to support him.

Are you going to go down with that sinking ship? Are you blindly defending him in comment sections on social media, hoping he sees your username? I think your goal should be to be able to hear from God about what you should do next about that, about what your pastor is saying and doing. Maybe not just up and leave, maybe not disparage them, but just go to God. And then if the answer is to talk to your pastor, do that. If the answer is to leave, do that. If the answer is to sit tight,

and be the hands and feet of Jesus within the church even while the pastor is wiling out. Do that. If you don't hear anything at all, keep seeking. What is God saying? What does God want you to do? You. What does he want you to do? How does he want you to feel? What is right in his eyes? Not just because your pastor is your pastor, because people in a power and in authority aren't always right. They might've started right. They don't always stay right. They're people.

This applies everywhere and in every relationship. It's so important to make sure you're not being deceived, that you're not in opposition to God. Doing what you feel is right. Saying what you think should be said. Staying where you feel comfortable. Staying when God's plan is something totally different. Make it a daily practice to ask God what he wants. What is his will? What is his plan? What is right? What is wrong? Or is this even important? Why is it important? Or is it just a distraction? Where should you be focusing your attention?

Like, why are you in the comment sections arguing about a dress when you got a very specific assignment to apologize to your wife and make amends so that there can be peace and prosperity in your household? So that God can bless the work of your hands so that God can just be pleased with you? Is that what would please him? Is that the obedience that would please him? Not the defense of the pastor or the pastor's wife or whatever is going on? Because we are, you know, this sounds like a very specific...

A very specific situation, but there are so many different circumstances that this can apply to, not just those two people. In the New Testament, it was the Pharisees and Sadducees. Matthew 15 to 12 says, then the disciples came to him and asked, do you realize you offended the Pharisees by what you just said? 13 says, Jesus replied, every plant not planted by my heavenly father will be uprooted. 14, so ignore them. They are blind guides leading the blind. And if one blind person guides another,

they will both fall into a ditch. God was doing something through Jesus and they were devoted and aligned to the laws of Moses and the traditions and just devoted to being blind, not trying to see what God was doing. But things were changing. God was moving. There's an account of one Pharisee, Magadeth Nicodemus in John 3, 1 and 2. It says that there was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee after dark.

One evening he came to speak with Jesus. Rabbi, he said, we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you. He said, we all know. It was clear that God was with Jesus and doing something new, but the religious leaders were clenching onto their power and control so much that they wouldn't stop to acknowledge it, to see that they could get on board like Jonathan. Nicodemus did. He did what Jonathan did with David.

with Jesus over time he played a role in Jesus's life because he was curious and he was growing in his faith. He defended Jesus before the Sanhedrin. He anointed it Jesus's body after the crucifixion. Going back to David, we all know about Bathsheba, how David, a man after God's own heart, after all that God had done for and through him could still fall to the temptation of lust, sleeping with Bathsheba, getting her pregnant, plotting to cover it up.

killing her husband, then taking Bathsheba as his own wife. It all seemed so out of character for David. So much so that when Nathan the prophet came to tell him a story about a man who did something similar, he didn't even perceive that the story was about himself. He got mad and wanted to punish the man and he was all in his feelings and Nathan was like, you are that man. But thank God for Nathan. Nathan didn't say, yeah, David, that Bathsheba, she's a bad gal. I see why you did what you did. No, he didn't.

He didn't condone it. He didn't hype him up in it. He called him out on it. He submitted to the Lord first because the word came from the Lord and then he confronted him, which could be dangerous. David was a king. Kings was killing prophets. And David had changed. We knew what we knew of David. He was a good man or whatever, but he did this thing. You don't know how he's going to react to you at that point. But because of his confrontation with David, it allowed David to repent, to submit, to humble himself.

and to renew his relationship with God. He didn't endanger his bloodline. Jesus came through David's bloodline, came through David having someone on the throne always. Like it was up to David to not falter and fumble that and he didn't. Jesus was the only perfect person, the only one who deserves and won't fumble your blind allegiance. You can be loyal to a friend while still being honest that they're being a hater.

You can love and honor a parent while respectfully holding them accountable for the drama they bring to your siblings. And most importantly, you don't have to be blindly loyal to yourself. I know we're in a season of therapy speak and self-protection and, you know, cutting people off and going no contact and all of that is well and good when aligned with God. But your desires and temptations will drag you down and sometimes away without you even realizing it. Giving birth to sin, messing up your reputation like David. You might think you're right.

but you're not right all the time. We are human, we are people. Gotta run that by God. So many things can seem justifiable to us and be absolutely abominable to God. We are called to crucify our flesh daily. There's a reason for that. It's our responsibility to take up our crosses and follow Christ. That's blind loyalty. Wherever he's going, we going. Whatever he says, do, we're doing. Whatever he says is right, we believe. That's what we want.

We want to seek the Lord. We want to let him give us the desires of our hearts, because if we go by our evil desires, we're going to fall every time. We're going to do what we think is right. We're going to cut off who we think we need to cut off. We're going to talk about who we think we need to talk about because they're wrong, they're wrong, they're wrong. You know, who is the man? You're the man. You're the woman. You're that person. You got to not be blindly loyal to yourself. You got to know that you can and will be wrong. And like David, when you get called out about it, whether it's through another person or the Holy Spirit, repent.

Be convicted, let that conviction take hold. Tear your clothes, rend your heart, not your garments. Turn back to the Lord. That's what he wants, right? That's how we look like him. That's how we please him. Seek the Lord, let him give you the desires of your heart. Repent, pray, read, memorize your Bible, turn down your plate sometimes, try to display the fruits of the spirit, and do your very best to love people.

Work hard at it. It's hard. really is. That's what I was talking to lady at the doctor's about. It's really hard to love people, right? Because people be doing things. People be peoplein'. And you be peoplein' too. It's hard to love you too. But God's to love the world. That we didn't even have to do anything and he gave us his son. That's our example. So we must love, right? Sadly, people probably will never stop hating on Christians and Christianity. And Christians will probably always give Christianity a bad name because...

We're not Jesus and we can't look like him or make all the right decisions, but we can try. Here's how we can help people be more open to being a Christian, how we can win more souls to Christ. Don't seek to be right. Seek to be righteous. It's a lot of no, yes, no, yes, this is what you should be doing. This person's wrong, that person's wrong. Worry about yourself. If you're worried about yourself, if you're removing the plink from your own eye and not the speck from your neighbor's.

more frequently than you're judging and condemning everybody else, then other people might be considering that they want to understand why you can be different than everybody else. Who is this Christ that you claim? What is this joy that you have? What is this peace that you have? What is this light that comes from you? Can we see that? That's what we're doing. We're seeking to be righteous. We're seeking to be sanctified. We're seeking to be purified. We're justified.

by grace through faith not works lest any man should boast you are not good I am not good Jesus is the only one that's good so how are we sitting around telling anybody else what's right why are we arguing about this what does God want from us time is running out I can't stop saying it I can't whoa child I don't know the way that that rolls off my tongue all the time that y'all should take heed I'm heeding it time is running out we don't have time for this

We don't have time to be arguing about dresses and all the other things. Fam, I want you to always be curious. Always be willing to grow in wisdom and knowledge. Allow God to sanctify you, to change you, to help you level up to look more like Christ, right? That's why we're here. And maybe you're like me with Alicia Watson. We're taking life's lessons and leveling up to look more like Christ. That's our goal. That's our reasonable service.

And that's all I have for you today. If you're like me, I love to hear from you. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. If you know someone who's like us, share this episode with them or another of your favorite episodes if it applies to what they're going through. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a spectacular week. Okay. Bye.