The Final Rule(s)
Completely Improvised DnD campaigns! Prepare nothing for anything.
The Final Rule(s)
The Final Rules: Order | Assimilated (S3E7)
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After a five-year hiatus a cast reunites as The Final Rule returns! Bigger, better, and improvier than ever - The Final Rules manifests now as two simultaneously occurring and, as always, completely improvised campaigns.
Ssssssylvia (played by Sophia Brazda,) Michael (Vincent Bianca,) and Virgil (Chase Bernard) have discovered the true depths of their peril - they are stuck inside of the Mainframe and subject to the devil Mr. Bond's tyrannical bureaucracy. Faced with an impossible situation and with no idea how to get home, the Order party must work with a small group of other trapped survivors to try and avoid a horror which might prove ultimately inevitable:
Assimilation.
Thank you to our Very Special Guest Clay Achee (McClayven,) Louisiana maker and creator of Ziggy's Arts Adventures and Ziggy and the Junkyard Band!
The Final Rule(s) is a livestream and edited podcast produced by Arcadian Renaissance Theatre Creatives (ART-C,) a nonprofit organization from Livingston Parish, LA. Please visit us at https://www.art-c.org to learn more, and please consider donating to help us realize our goal of fair pay for our artists and collaborators.
We are ART-C.
Long ago, in a distant land, far beyond the reaches of common sense. A band of merry adventurers are stuck between order and chaos. So hang on to your data slam.
SPEAKER_03Welcome everyone to the Final Rule Order campaign. I am uh your snack master, Justin Hayflick. Um, and uh yeah, I'm I'm excited for some improv.
SPEAKER_12Um you said snack master. Do you do you have snacks on you?
SPEAKER_03Oh no, I actually left my snacks upstairs. I had nerd clusters.
SPEAKER_07Oh no!
SPEAKER_03I'll be snack master after break. I was gonna say you should have shared if you brought some. Yeah, we were hoping.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we should take a break in five minutes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, break in five minutes, yeah. Yeah, nerd clusters are that important. Yep, yep. And I'll just I'll just pass it along here to uh me left.
SPEAKER_08Hey, that's me, I think.
SPEAKER_07Everything's a little I never quite even on the uh Sophia Braz here. I play Sis Sylvia. That's successes, don't forget it. Um my personal goal for this session is to um upset everyone equally this time.
SPEAKER_03Oh my wow. Who you upset last time?
SPEAKER_07Uh somebody. I don't want to disclose.
SPEAKER_03I don't want to say not enough of you though.
SPEAKER_13Needs to be more.
SPEAKER_07It was just clay, but I didn't know clay then.
SPEAKER_02Uh hi, I'm Vincent Bianca. I will be Michael. Uh no goals right now. I'm pretty open to seeing where this journey takes me for today. Uh whatever happens, happens, and it doesn't happen. You know, we'll talk about it next time.
SPEAKER_12Nice. Thank you. Uh you're welcome. Um hello, I'm Chase Bernard, and I will be playing Virgil. Uh, goals for me uh this session is to uh I don't just just just find something interesting. I'm gonna try to find something interesting. I'm gonna try to try to find the most interesting thing and then point it out and be like, that's interesting. Okay. I'm gonna make I'm gonna make the whole session. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03That's real. And we have a special guest here. Uh if you'd like to introduce yourself, sir.
SPEAKER_13I'm Clay Ashe, and I am finding out what I'm doing here as it happens. Any goals? To find out what's happening.
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Uh I'll tell you, my goal is to try to disturb you guys all more than the uh surveilling baby. That's my goal. I want you guys to feel even more uncomfortable. The those those babies were terrible. Those boss babies, suited babies. Um yeah, so uh yeah. I mean, I think we'll get right into um, as uh you guys all know if you're on this episode, you know that we're a fully improvised D D podcast. Looks like we may have lost Clay. Can you at least hear us, Clay?
SPEAKER_02Clay.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_02Uh oh. Oh no. Did we lose him?
SPEAKER_01Looks like I upset him again.
SPEAKER_02Uh no. Yeah, no, I guess he has a mountain so. I wonder if I wonder if his computer setups.
SPEAKER_03I think I think it was the babies, the surveilling babies.
SPEAKER_07I think you had to bring them into existence.
SPEAKER_02I I forgot about them honestly until you reminded me, and now I'm I'm I'm totally baked out again.
SPEAKER_03I I think of them every night and I smile and then I can't sleep.
SPEAKER_07Most kids' first horror movies like, oh, the conjuring boss baby for me.
SPEAKER_02Boss baby for me. I think mine was Page Master because I I didn't want to get too much.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, I love Page Masters. No, it's a great book.
SPEAKER_02I just didn't want to get I didn't want to Storms are scary as a kid, too, and the way Macaulay Culkin just drives out on his bike in a storm at night. That's like several things my mom would say no don't do.
SPEAKER_07At night, you're on a bike. Already, so we're already in DUI territory.
SPEAKER_12I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I just watched Page Master the movie like two days ago.
SPEAKER_07For the first time?
SPEAKER_12No, no, no, no, no. I not we I've seen it before. It's been a long time, but you're normal.
SPEAKER_03I don't remember anything about it. What this movie is. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_07Like it's so great. It's about it's about books.
SPEAKER_12Yep, Clay definitely evaporated.
SPEAKER_07I was like, I was like, this is my turn. The books are counting.
SPEAKER_02Yep, the books are I really don't remember this. I I can attest when I just saw it.
SPEAKER_07Well they won't they?
SPEAKER_12It really was. No problem. Yep, yep. No worries. We'll page master. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02This is a part of the group, the part of the uh show we talk about page. I I don't now we're now we're a talking heads podcast. We're no longer a D podcast.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure that's what we always wear. Yeah. At least how we always start, you know.
SPEAKER_02I just I just I have a lot of thoughts about podcasts. I feel like to talking heads, like niche is like oversaturated.
SPEAKER_07Right.
SPEAKER_02Honestly.
SPEAKER_03Everyone's got so is the couch though.
SPEAKER_07So is so is the couch recliners and with just people's bottom halves.
SPEAKER_02You know, just just the knees down.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like like are my are my my popping knees what's speaking, or are we still speaking? You only see we're still speaking. Okay. We only see you know that's like like people like shifting yeah, so we can see everyone's fidgets and shifting and that way you can focus on the person's like behavior and not on their like appearance.
SPEAKER_07You can kind of like piece, it's kind of like a mystery. You can kind of piece together what's going on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And you can just see why my calves are always uh sore at the end of the day because I'm just bouncing my knees. Oh, you gotta rest. Yeah, rest leg is something.
SPEAKER_02And they'll say, Yo, Justin's flexing hard on the rest of these people. Dude, totally moged, leaving us all moged. Absolutely. He'll try.
SPEAKER_03I'm doing it right now.
unknownWhoa.
SPEAKER_03Setup's okay.
SPEAKER_02Setup's not here yet. Well, if they product time, I don't even think about like who the people are in podcasts. I listen to, I don't think about what they look like. So already so taking away the choice to even know what to look like.
SPEAKER_07Well, now every like podcast feature on Spotify has like a video version of that podcast, you know. Sorry, like when I watch Good Hang, I watch the video of it.
SPEAKER_02I I know that that that that's what we do. We do the live podcasting where you watch us also do it. I know so please watch us do the thing. Please watch us do it. Watch us, I watched it. Watch us and listen to us. Those are both really good for our metrics. Those are really awesome for us. Do that. Yeah, watch. I just don't watch my podcast.
SPEAKER_03Like them, comment, do all of that stuff. It's fun to be a part of it when it's live though.
SPEAKER_02Part of the podcast listen to, they're always live on like Tuesday at 11. And I'm like, I have a job.
SPEAKER_03I can't actually remind me, I do need to turn the chat on because uh I don't know. Now's the perfect time to talk to people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh questions. Uh shooting r slash pagemaster.
SPEAKER_01Do you prefer the live action portions of the film or the animated portions of the film? There is a right answer.
SPEAKER_02You know, I feel no r slash page master was banned from Reddit. We can't even check on no, that's kind of scary. I really don't like knowing that. I mean, they banned it probably for uh a gross reason.
SPEAKER_07And I don't want to say all of the main characters in that movie are children or objects. I'm pretty scared.
SPEAKER_03That rule 34. You guys aren't really selling this. You guys have all seen you're not really selling this.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, no. You love the stores. Reddit was a bad example to pull content from. Alright. That that that that I'll take the way for that.
SPEAKER_07Oh. Yeah, actually, I think there's a reaper in page.
SPEAKER_03What? No.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_03There's not but there's not the reaper. That's uh it's a red rising. Oh if you you if you haven't read Red Rising, then you wouldn't wouldn't know the power of the Reaper.
SPEAKER_07Can't read it. I've been too busy watching Page Master.
SPEAKER_02Christopher Lloyd's in Page Master. I forgot.
SPEAKER_07Christopher Lloyd.
SPEAKER_02As Mr. D the unconventional librarian and caretaker of a seemingly abandoned library, I I do need to I do need to re-walk because I watched when I was in preschool, and I remember J's opening sequence.
SPEAKER_03I got a quick little idea here. While we're still waiting on Clay, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna pull a suggestion real quick. Yeah, uh, and we're going to quickly roleplay a little scenario uh of back when you guys were roommates.
SPEAKER_06Ooh.
SPEAKER_03Back in the roommates. Uh what it's like the friends portion of their lives. I can't remember what you guys called uh it was like the theater art collective. Let me find my note on the We were it's hard to describe it in one simple term.
SPEAKER_07I had the actor collective in my notes, but I think I feel like any sort of theater collective title were.
SPEAKER_03The theater art collective. Okay, so I don't think we ever actually named ourselves. Uh oh, Sophia definitely had a name. I don't think you guys all agreed upon it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, well I can agree on it now, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Maybe it's in my phone notes, but let me grab uh how do I do this again? Hashtags suggestions. Is it as it's slash? Is it slash suggestions?
SPEAKER_02I've been re-listening to the episodes. I heard that that we got rid of tilde. Slash pull suggestions.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so this is a suggestion by deathher. I have no idea. D deotherminism. Deatherminism.
SPEAKER_07I will have tax deathherminism.
SPEAKER_03And the suggestion is tax exemptions. Alright. Uh so uh you guys are currently in the um in your guys' apartments. Uh Blair and Arnold had gone out for uh for some groceries, and you guys are left here and you guys kind of just um you guys are at the kitchen table and you guys are starting to look at some of these bills that are coming in.
SPEAKER_02What what's this what's this water bill? Why why is it so so much?
SPEAKER_01It's for the use of water. Learned that recently.
SPEAKER_02Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, yeah, yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_01Michael, would you say that you read at a normal pace or a slow pace?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I'm such a slow reader. Okay I I really am. I I gotta do, I gotta like do a one letter. In my mind, I'm kind of sounding it out as I'm looking at the words.
SPEAKER_01When you were in elementary school, would you get taken outside to talk to someone at a very small table for a very long time?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, actually. How did you know that? Okay, that's that's oh, okay. Yeah, well, so they're they would talk to me about like why uh uh maybe point at colors and I couldn't always get them right.
SPEAKER_11Okay.
SPEAKER_02And they try to get me to like they drill in the colors right. I just I just couldn't get them. I couldn't get them.
SPEAKER_01Right, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_02Still can't read that fast.
SPEAKER_01Michael, how many fingers am I holding up behind my back?
SPEAKER_02Whoa. That feels up two?
SPEAKER_01No, it was seven. Michael, I think that I think I have a way for us to save money on these next month's bills.
SPEAKER_02I I have to hear it. I can't we can't afford this. We either make rent or we make art, and right now we're not even not doing either.
SPEAKER_01What if I told you that you are a very special person?
SPEAKER_02You know, it feels really good to hear you say that, but I I yeah, I I like that.
SPEAKER_01What if I told you that you are a special government program?
SPEAKER_02Are you serious? We can get money from the government? I can get money from the government? That's such good news.
SPEAKER_01Make me your legal guardian.
SPEAKER_02Oh that that's that's a real shift in power over here. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01No, you don't understand. It's it's it's sort of a facade. I I'm just I'm trying to build off of what is the most realistic picture here ever since our grant applications got denied for this season. Obviously, it's been tight.
SPEAKER_02Right, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01Unfortunately, we won't be able to do naked death of a salesman like we wanted to.
SPEAKER_02God, that was gonna be so great, too. I know. The vision was there, they just couldn't see it.
SPEAKER_01They couldn't see it. But still, um Michael, if you were to um, let's say go down to the county courthouse and sort of, I don't know, not really speak, like kind of keep your head down, you know, do that roaming eye thing that you normally do. The government might believe that I need to be your statewide guardian. And we can take a little laugh at the time. You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02Kind of. So you I I I think. Wait, I think we can get money from this?
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01I just need you to fail this reading spelling test.
SPEAKER_03I you guys can actually um keep more money with this. Um as uh just behind you, Michael, is your guys' uh fifth roommate, a uh portal that just he just sits in his room all day.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, you'd be able to keep a lot of your money if you do that.
SPEAKER_03I had a cousin that uh did this with like all three of his siblings, and uh yeah, it worked out great. They got a lot of money and they they paid all the until they went to prison for fraud.
SPEAKER_14But it worked out for like five years.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so tell me this in terms of uh functionality and or appearance, uh where did where did your cousin sort of people rank against like what you see before you as my Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Were were they like visibly smarter than me in a way, or like do you think I look dumb enough to get to get that that sweet, sweet government assistance?
SPEAKER_14I th I think you're I mean you're probably dumb enough. Dude. I don't know. I mean, my cousin's mom was also like their dad's second cousin.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a great question. Michael, do you have any incest, known incest in your family?
SPEAKER_02I mean I mean not that I not that I know of. I mean I I was hatched among like you know fifteen others in my brood, but like I you know that's typical for for lizard folk.
SPEAKER_01You know what they say? Fifteen's a crowd, and anything less than that is basically siblings.
SPEAKER_02I was the runt of them all, so I mean, yeah, I'm sure I'd be I'd be a shoe-in for that assistance. Probably.
SPEAKER_01You know, you should really come out of your room more often.
SPEAKER_03No thanks. As he just like kinda slowly curls back into his turtle shell, just right there in the middle of the kitchen floor.
SPEAKER_01Um I think that's the longest conversation I've ever had with that guy. He's delightful.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Uh, and uh now I think Clay is back. Uh that was a little improv of uh in the apartment. They have a fifth roommate. So you hear me? Yes, yes, yes, we can hear you. We can hear you.
SPEAKER_13Sorry guys, there was an inexplicable internet outage at my house.
SPEAKER_03No worries, no worries, we uh improvised. Uh so uh alright, so uh we will uh I'll start with a little recap of what happened, what has happened. So you guys uh were sent to find this artifact. Um and while trying to dis figure out what this artifact is and how it works, you guys were pulled into it uh and your party of your group of six was split up into two groups of three. Uh you guys were sent into this strange uh but familiar world where rather than industrial uh brick buildings around you and mechanical creatures, um buildings were made out of glass excuse me. Out of glass and steel. The uh there were flesh ducks rather than clockwork ducts, really weird stuff. Um everyone was walking in a rhythm. Uh and you guys kinda, you know, it's a familiar layout, but things were just oddly different for for you guys. Uh you guys went to a little diner, tried to discuss some things, uh, and dining dash, and in your dash, um and trying to run out towards the suburbs. Uh you guys met. Um oh my gosh, am I getting our beautiful guest last week's name? Not our guest, of course I can't forget you, Spencer. Um Noro, yes. Um a uh uh uh very colorful scaled um uh uh guy in his very nice suit named Norox Narosk Noroxy. Uh and uh he was telling you guys about oh how great the place is. He's just checking this uh invisible wall here and it it it hasn't moved. He's doing some checks and balances. Uh you guys ask him, oh, okay, cool. Um, you know, where is it you work? You guys trying to do a little bit of reconnaissance with him, trying to talk to uh I think you guys were trying to talk to whoever's in charge. I don't know exactly. I think oh, you guys this guy were saying you guys were uh interns, I believe, that were coming or HR to come and check in on him and make sure that he was doing everything correctly. Uh you guys went to the city hall and um you know met a few people there, uh, including uh Bill Bill Bond of the City, Bill Bond. Uh this enormous uh like looked like this enormous demon that's about nine, ten feet tall. Uh and uh, you know, Sylvia was like, oh yeah, he's my father, you know, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. To try to get in and talk with him. Uh, but then also Sylvia was offered a job and said she starts uh in like three days um with uh working under Bill Bond. So that was kind of cool. Uh you guys went and filled out a whole bunch of paperwork, four hundred pages to be exact, on these little kiosks. Um Pamela and Pauline were what these. Uh two were called, but um as you guys were doing this and kind of walking around, you guys had this strange feeling of being watched. Um you guys went to Neroxy's place, uh, and Virgil had ran into this furbulg, uh, this other full furbulg lady that slapped the ever-loving shit out of him. Uh she was the most beautiful woman I ever met. Sylvia thought it was a little odd. It's like, hey, she's not she's not really acting like everyone else, walking in a rhythm and being super kind and everything like that. So Sylvia chased her into the stairwell, uh, was able to trip her down the stairs and started questioning her.
SPEAKER_07Uh women supporting women.
SPEAKER_03Women supporting women. Uh and she uh had said she had asked if you're a part of the system and was talking all this nonsense, uh saying that uh they're a part of it, they're all a part of it, you're a part of it, we're all stuck. There's no saving us. Only the others. Um she told you to meet her underneath the bridge, but not tonight. We are being watched. Um you guys, she ran back down the stairs. You guys thought it was odd, uh, and went back to Noroxy's uh apartments. Uh during all of this, a ton of stuff starts happening. Virgil starts talking to Noroxy, asking him, Hey, do you feel you know, do you feel like you're you're being appreciated here? Um Do you feel like you're doing your part? Because I think you could be doing more, and starts talking to him like, hey, you're not a part of this mainframe. There's this mainframe that's happening. Uh that's uh and at the same time you guys are all having this conversation and realizing you are inside of this mainframe, this this uh um basically this an internet realm that you guys kind of know of, the mainframe, the portals with your guys' hand devices, um, a data slabs. Yeah, your data slabs, uh, and you guys are realizing you're in the mainframe. As Virgil's having this conversation, Vincent and Sylvia notice one of the uh the suited babies that were down on the first floor is crawling on the window, just staring in at you guys, uh, and then it skitters away. Off in the distance, Michael's able to spot several lights coming from a rooftop and going towards your guys' building as you guys run out. Noroxy says, Hey, I'll I'll help you out. Uh Virgil gives a great speech um saying, Hey, you know, are you okay with doing a good job? No one's telling you you're doing a good job, you're doing a great job. Um, I mean, you may be able to say it emphasize on what it was uh you said to him better than I did, Virgil.
SPEAKER_12Uh uh I don't know. It was something like um, hey, you're not just doing a good job. You did a great job.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but um yeah, you guys had this whole chase sequence. Uh you ran into Charles, is what her name was, the Furbog lady, as you guys were getting chased by these flying saucers um that are about four foot wide bet between in the alleyways, uh, and you guys uh have this fight at this intersection here, are able to take these large uh flying saucers out before you guys head underground. Um, you guys are able to um rest. Uh Charles C says that uh you guys can rest here, and tomorrow uh we will talk. Um so you guys wake up and you guys are all level two. Whoa, whoa!
SPEAKER_01Yay!
SPEAKER_12I feel stronger slightly.
SPEAKER_01I have two mouth kissing? What the heck? What open mouth kissing?
SPEAKER_02Wait, open kissing. That that that feels that feels a little too charged.
SPEAKER_12Guys, I unlocked that too. Did we all get that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you guys all got that while also all having 19 hit points. I'm not joking. You guys all rolled and at level two, you guys all have the same exact hit points. So we're all just as vulnerable.
SPEAKER_08You mean can hit points?
SPEAKER_12Uh yes. Uh yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03As long as you hit money, right? Um, I'm going to pull a quick suggestion for uh tonight's session, and the suggestion is whole grilled fish. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_09That was me, yeah.
SPEAKER_03BBB99. Full grilled fish is our suggestion.
SPEAKER_12So no no, not full grilled fish. It's it's is it it's whole grilled fish.
SPEAKER_03It's a whole grilled fish. A whole grilled fish. Yep. That's uh that is uh our suggestion. So um yeah, you guys wake up uh as you guys were taken underground into um uh at at night it seemed like this kind of sewer system and stuff like that. The lights were low, it was hard for any of you guys really to see, but you guys uh were put into this room and Noroxy was taken with Charles C to um because uh he probably has some information as he'd been living in uh uh this society for a long time. Um for several years, I think. I think you said like a decade or something. Uh twenty years, two decades. Holy cow, Noroxy. Um but uh you guys wake up and as you guys wake up, the lights are still dim. Um but uh as you guys are able to get around and look around, it doesn't you're not in like a grungy um you're not in a grungy kind of sewer system. It seems super clean, um, and all your walls are curved. Um and uh like metal We're still here.
SPEAKER_02Yep, was it a dream? I don't know.
SPEAKER_12Are we all in the same room together? I'm guessing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but there's about four or five cots just kind of in this room. It's just you three. Got it.
SPEAKER_01Did anybody else have a nightmare where Stellar Adler tr Stella Adler tried to open mouth kiss them during a callback?
SPEAKER_02No, no, that was just you. I had a nightmare that every tree I tried to carve was metal and couldn't be carved. This is my nightmare.
SPEAKER_01You guys are fun.
SPEAKER_02Alright, well, I'm not sitting in this cot any longer. Gotta go ahead and get up.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02This is too much extensional existential dread for one day.
SPEAKER_03You guys all get up um as you hear uh there's a door back to the uh side as you hear a toilet flesh.
unknownOh shh.
SPEAKER_12What the oh well good to know there's restrooms here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh I called next. Alright, you uh go for it, Michael.
SPEAKER_03Comes uh this elvish-looking figure. Uh Clay, could you describe your character?
SPEAKER_13Uh I no, not really. I'm uh I'm Elvish. I'm Elvish, and uh I want to wear a uh a long cloak. Um yeah, and I want to be tall. Uh you know, no reason.
SPEAKER_12Uh no, no, you don't just want to be. You are tall. Yeah, you are tall.
SPEAKER_13Um, that's what I got for you now. Yeah. Cool.
SPEAKER_03All right. Yeah. Step out of the bathroom. Uh and as as he does, you guys see, uh, there is a fourth uh set of just equipment and everything just pushed under one of the cots.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm next. Excuse me. Go back to the bathroom. Yeah. And I shut the door and I lock it.
SPEAKER_01Hello, lanky man. Me?
SPEAKER_13Uh hello. Uh it's nice to see that you're awake.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Yes, we had a very restful sleep, didn't we, Virgil?
SPEAKER_02I have never slept worse in my life.
SPEAKER_01All right. Well, we love your your your spooky dungeon. It's so, so chic.
SPEAKER_13Oh no, it's not mine.
SPEAKER_01Uh, friends of yours?
SPEAKER_13Nope. I woke up here just like you did.
SPEAKER_12Uh, so dragged in here with the rest of us, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Uh how you you got here or no, no, but I was excited to fight a bathroom.
SPEAKER_02I come out of the bathroom, it gets flushed, I walk out, like, oh man.
SPEAKER_01Michael, did you wash your hands?
SPEAKER_02Uh I turn back around.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, guys, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little slow. Okay. I have my period.
SPEAKER_02You hear me washing my hands, and I come back out, and I there isn't a towel in there. I turn back around, I walk back in.
SPEAKER_01So sorry.
SPEAKER_13What's your name, Stranger? You might know how we got here.
SPEAKER_02Oh, well, um we were led down here to you know escape the the craziness of the God, the babies up in Yes, we were being pursued by infants.
SPEAKER_13The infants are terrifying.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay, there's still no towel in there, so like I I'm just I just use your pants.
SPEAKER_01I I shouldn't have to tell you what do it.
SPEAKER_02Like, I don't know if it's keep doing this. Alright, alright. I'm just I'm just waving my hands to try them off.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. I'm so sorry. You were saying I I'm so embarrassed.
SPEAKER_13The babies are terrifying. I was also brought down here to escape.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_12Oh. Yeah. Actually, now that I think about it, that probably was more than just us that was affected by the mass of babies and d drones.
SPEAKER_02Uh all of this is just a little too much for me to handle right now.
SPEAKER_01Really changed my mind about ever becoming a mother. It was really very quick. Very quick.
SPEAKER_12Anyways, uh, what's your name, uh stranger? Uh McClavin. McClavin. McClavin.
SPEAKER_01Hi McLaven, I like that one. That's it.
SPEAKER_02It doesn't feel like an elvish name, but alright.
SPEAKER_01Sounds like a P.I.
SPEAKER_02Who am I to judge? I like uh I'm Virgil. Nice to meet you.
SPEAKER_12I hold out my hand to Virgil. Pleasure to meet you.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and I'm Sis Silvia. Six S.
SPEAKER_13I'll try to pronounce all six of them. Please do.
SPEAKER_02Hi, I'm Michael. Sorry, my hand's a little still wet. There was there weren't any towels in there. My hand's wet too. Okay, great.
SPEAKER_13Y'all don't feel like y'all are belong here, maybe from around here.
SPEAKER_02Uh not even a little bit. Not at all.
SPEAKER_01Maybe we can say the same of you, yeah.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, yeah. I I I seem to have dropped in here by accident. And I was wondering if you knew how you got here.
SPEAKER_02Uh quick, hold on a second. We're gonna do another huddle, guys. Okay. Hold on. This isn't about you. Give us a second.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we're we're whether the weather be cold. Uh whether the weather be hot. No, we're not doing it. What is this?
SPEAKER_02What are y'all doing?
SPEAKER_01What it's a vocal warm up? I thought it's a warm up.
SPEAKER_02It's uh you're part of the collective now, Virgil.
SPEAKER_01So like this Yeah, every morning when we wake up, we do a little vocal warm-up and then we shake it out. One, two, three, spot, five.
SPEAKER_02You guys in the bathroom. So exhausting.
SPEAKER_12Anyways, what I'm trying to say is did this guy fall into the mainframe just like we did? I mean, when he wasn't with us.
SPEAKER_02I mean, you're listening. No, I mean, okay, I I was listening, but I mean, like, clearly, is there other ways that this could happen? I mean, I mean I already forgot. Alright, recap, Michael. We went through the we uh activated this crazy artifact and got separated from our party, and now we're in the mainframe.
SPEAKER_01Swirly whirly thing, and then pretty much.
SPEAKER_02But not everyone who we've met who isn't from here didn't get in the same way we did. So it makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Well, we can't really find out if we're just still huddled up and not asking questions, can we?
SPEAKER_02Alright, fine. We're unhuddle. Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_01We will ask the questions here. Sorry, I don't know what that accent is. So how how did you uh how did you happen upon all this?
SPEAKER_13Uh well, I I mean, I was casting some spells that you were casting could be of responsible or irresponsible nature. Uh, and I I maybe or maybe was not messing with things I shouldn't have been messing with, but I I feel like I fell through a portal and then everybody got real weird and marchy.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh how how long ago was that, and how long has it been since since now? Wait.
SPEAKER_13Oh, I've just once they put me down here, this is I just stayed here. Uh it I suspect it's been babies. Okay. Wow, wait, how do you know about the babies? I was there. And then it freaked me out, and then they brought me down here. Oh, well.
SPEAKER_01Like I it's been barely 24 hours. May less than that significantly. Oh, like long time.
SPEAKER_08Sorry.
SPEAKER_03No, he yeah, uh yeah, he he could definitely have been here before you guys got here.
SPEAKER_02Oh, cool. Because the the the baby exists, the baby's they they just what came after us, so they've been around before. Maybe they're living in. They're part of a bigger security system, it sounds like an antivirus, if you will.
SPEAKER_01McClavin, do you share in us a a belief, a spirit, nay, an obligation, character motivation to head home.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I'd like it very much. Uh, my order worships a three and a half foot-tall mushroom.
SPEAKER_02And if I don't get back with it, we believe we're we gotta hurry. The world will end, you say.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well the good news is we're not really in the world.
SPEAKER_13We've gotta, yeah, right. Right. Uh yeah, my order, my order worships a uh a three and a half inch uh mushroom, and uh, you know, I need to tend to it.
SPEAKER_01What's its name?
SPEAKER_13Charles. It's adorable.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_08Is he like young or like it's an ancient mushroom.
SPEAKER_13It's an ancient the the the beginnings of life on earth.
SPEAKER_01Does Charles do like tricks or I mean he keeps us from all dying, I think.
SPEAKER_02That's a pretty impressive trick.
SPEAKER_12Keeps the universe afloat. I don't know if I've ever heard of this Charles the first time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, did she did Charles tell you that?
SPEAKER_12Like, hey small order of big order. Okay. Wonder where that sect separated from.
SPEAKER_01I I like I like pull Michael and Virgil aside and I'm just like, I hate when a small group of people just get like really obsessed over like one thing, you know? Like it's it's so incestuous, it's just weird.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, it's just weird, isn't it? Yeah.
SPEAKER_08I hate cults.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I hate cults too.
SPEAKER_08I try to separate myself from oh shoot, I I used my my projecting voice.
SPEAKER_02Should have been canceling your stage whisper.
SPEAKER_01Shit. Well, I said I'm such a clock colts.
SPEAKER_08You're such a clut clutz, clots. Anywho, what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_03You guys hear a knock on the metal door, uh, and you uh guys see a familiar tall. Um it's new to you, uh McClavin. Uh tall Furbog lady. Um Charlesy uh comes in. All right.
SPEAKER_14Are you guys you guys up? You guys ready?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but I would totally say yes, we're ready.
SPEAKER_01What are we ready for?
SPEAKER_02Where are we going? What's the happen?
SPEAKER_04How we how we guys go talk to um well uh the bridgeman Yes, the bridgeman yes the bridgeman.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, yeah, we'll be taking the uh the underground cords to uh to underneath the bridge. So let's go! All right.
SPEAKER_03You guys got all your things together? Uh hi, um my uh uh uh McLaven is it? My uh associate the uh the little little half-elf uh guy that that brought you in, uh Jonas, he he told me um told me a little bit about you. Um uh and and he said I can I'll bring you over there. He's he's a little bit preoccupied right now. Um so she takes you guys and uh through this uh this system of tunnels. Um and as you guys kind of walk through these tunnels, they seem to uh curve a lot, um, no sharp turns. You see some that are um that are like vying off from each other, and you guys kind of go through this maze of uh of tunnels. Uh and you guys finally make your way to um this uh large I'll just call it an opening, um, to where it is this uh very square room. You can see up it goes about 20 or 30 feet from the top, are hanging a bunch of uh little metal bars uh that look to be just uh reaching down at different heights, kind of giving this like wave type of look up on the ceiling, um, with these vertical metal bars, golden bars, uh, and uh you can kind of see there's this catwalk around the outside uh that there's some people that are uh patrolling, they have these guns that they're uh uh strapped over their shoulders, and um you just see a whole bunch of people kind of uh the the ground is kind of littered with a whole bunch of uh like picnic benches and chairs. There's people huddled up on uh on the side to your guys' right. There's a few people that are standing up and getting some food here on your guys' left. Um, and you can see on the far end there seems to be um this small little room that juts out from the far wall that's below the catwalk area um that looks to have a few uh windows or mirrors you can see um that are looking out into this room. This room looks very complicated.
SPEAKER_01Oh good, let's just walk on through.
SPEAKER_14This way we'll uh have you talked to the leaders.
SPEAKER_03The leaders, um You guys remember our whole conversation literally last night?
SPEAKER_02I feel like I slept crazy. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I feel like a month has been since we last spoke about it.
SPEAKER_03Like I that sleep was so good. So yes, I mean the we're inside of the mainframe.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Yes. And these are the people who have been brought pulled in but have not yet become a part of the mainframe. What's what's the word I'm thinking of? Um integrated. Integrated into the case. Assimilated into the mainframe. Uh there's a lot of things that we don't really understand still. Um but what we do know is that people for some reason are getting pulled in from our world into the mainframe. Uh and it it leaves a lot of people just you know, displaced and stuff like that. Uh we're we're doing our best to try to um stay under the radar. Um so the mainframe doesn't detect us, but while still trying to do enough surveillance and um things to try to figure out how we can really well the uh the leaders will elaborate a little bit more.
SPEAKER_01And what's your deal? Are you like single or something? Or what what's happening?
SPEAKER_03Whoa, whoa, why would you uh uh ask for a friend?
SPEAKER_01Asking for a friend.
SPEAKER_03Don't look at me like that. Um yeah, I mean uh you know, being a part of a rebellion, you don't have much time to Okay.
SPEAKER_01No, that's sick. I I love that you're focused on the rebellion.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Diners don't offer five-eg omelets, so you know, um guys, you'll go focus on the test command.
SPEAKER_01If you had a mainframe baby that was evil and and could spy on people, would you love it?
SPEAKER_12All right, guys. How about we go check out the you know, this leader, these leader people? That'd be great. Let's just keep walking. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Uh, this way, Virgil, you start walking to a random direction. This this way. Um, and she uh she leads you guys to uh uh one of the rooms. She uh walks up a set of stairs and stands in front of uh the mirrors um as then one of the doors kind of open up. The main door opens up. Um uh yeah, these are um uh three of them are friends of Noroxy, and then the other one is uh the uh uh Jonas' guy. Alright. Bring them on in. Uh, you guys are brought into this uh smaller room. You see quite a few more guards in here. There's probably about uh five or six guards in here, and you can see these people actually um all have this helmet on. Uh this helmet that looks to be made of uh of a some sort of a leather. It almost looks like an old school like football helmet. Um, but you can uh see as it has some sort of little padding underneath it um as you guys kind of step in. They're wearing um uh pretty casual like gear, but trying to a little bit more tactical uh but casual gear. They're wearing some like vests that's got some extra pockets in them. They're wearing just like t-shirts underneath. Some are wearing like long sh long sleeve shirts. No one's wearing like a set uniform. Um, they got some uh some you know mismatching gloves. People are wearing pants are uh really tattered up down by down by the ankles, and everyone's uh uh just kind of has uh some mismatching boots um on. Um as you guys kind of walk in, uh you guys are brought into a uh brought up to a uh oval-shaped room. Uh and on the opposite side of it, uh you guys see this um this young uh dragonborn female. She's wearing uh this uh long dress and looks to be wearing some sort of a cape on her. She's uh you see to uh your guys' right uh a um uh a halfling that seems to be standing in his chair. He's wearing this uh this whole tuxedo on um the the the bow looks like he has a uh paper clip that's holding the bow upright as it looks like it was uh it was torn a little bit. There's a few holes in it, and then on the other side uh you see this dwarven guy that looks to be uh fully shaven. Um and you can see his double chin very, very uh prominently featured there as uh a dwarf without a beard is an odd sight to see if um and uh he seems to be uh just wearing a uh like a pair of like longer brown overalls um that that go all the way down to the end of his uh uh wrists. Um the uh dragonborn uh looks at you all.
SPEAKER_09Welcome.
SPEAKER_14Uh you four are new here, is what I hear.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we've come here from another world.
SPEAKER_08How did you get this?
SPEAKER_01We're sucking in the mainframe. Who knows if we'll get out? If someone hurts us in a nation, we don't know, but we would like to go back to where we come from. Isn't it Michael?
SPEAKER_02Bring the home. Bring us home, bring us home back out of the mainframe. I don't wanna be here anymore.
SPEAKER_10I we're uh here and we're we're here and we want to go home, but we uh don't know how to get home. So we're here and we wish for your help! Why am I doing this?
SPEAKER_13Why do I voice Have you guys ever seen the musical Hedwig and the Angry Elf? It's very similar to that.
SPEAKER_02It was such problematic imagery in that play, honestly.
SPEAKER_01It's it's I love that. What? What the fuck, Michael? No, I just saw some performances.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, so sorry. It was it was the person who who played the Angry Elf once, and it really bothered me how it it it it it was a production I saw a long time ago. Maybe I think I think that one production really affected how I see it.
SPEAKER_01And there's so uh excuse me.
SPEAKER_03That was the problem. Excuse me, some had someone Excuse me, do you all talk normally, or uh is it just musical that you talk?
SPEAKER_01I What would you prefer?
SPEAKER_04Just talk normally?
SPEAKER_03I can't follow with your trying to talk in rhyme and uh all these other things and yes, musical improv is very difficult.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for acknowledging that.
SPEAKER_02One of the highest forms of art, honestly. I I disagree, but anyway, what's up?
SPEAKER_03Yes, so uh you just had to say yes or no to the lady's question, but you went into a musical number about it. Yeah. I hope I convey that. So you're new here. Yes. Nod just I don't I don't want you to say anything. Nod or shake your head or nod, please. Nod my head. Thank you. I don't want you to break out into another musical. Um, so we've brought you all here. Uh we met your friend Roxy. He gave us a lot of information.
SPEAKER_04Um by the way, he he chilling or yes, yes, he's uh taking a rest right now. He's uh he gave a lot of helpful information, and uh I um yes, uh we are very thankful for for his assistance and his uh is very open, very open, and uh uh give you his life story without you even uh knowing him for very long. I think we talked to him for an hour and we uh he just gave us just about everything.
SPEAKER_01We've known that man for about two days.
SPEAKER_02All right.
SPEAKER_03Um I think actually all those first three sessions were happened within I think a single day. It was you guys had only been in the mainframe for a single day. Well like actually, I think just an afternoon or an evening, because you yeah, it was a single day.
SPEAKER_01It was a single day slow when you're living in terror.
SPEAKER_02When we dined in Dash, that was like that was probably around lunchtime. No doubt.
SPEAKER_07Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
SPEAKER_04Anyways, um, so I am uh I'm Charles.
SPEAKER_03Uh this is uh Sophie, and the other on the end, uh and the halfling uh bows his head. Uh Sir Chopsky, that's your service.
SPEAKER_01So your name is Charles and her name is Charles C.
SPEAKER_03Yes, no relation.
SPEAKER_04Um but we can people can't have common names. You never heard of a Charles C or a Charles before.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I guess I have.
SPEAKER_13I just you know uh McClavin is I do have a question. If it's not rude rude, what happened to your beard? That is very rude to us. Yep, yep, thought it might be sorry, stupid or sorry.
SPEAKER_02So can you answer anyway and just like if you feel like you want to, otherwise, if you don't, totally understandable. You know what? Now that it's out in the open, I was actually staring too, and I I you know I've been so distracting.
SPEAKER_04Do not regrow my uh beard until I got us all out of this, miss. Wow.
SPEAKER_01How long have you been?
SPEAKER_04Or well, we don't know if we can even get out. That there is the problem. Oh. Uh only thing that we know of really is uh just making sure more people don't get pulled in. Wait, wait, wait. What what what happens? I will regrow my beard and um victory, I guess.
SPEAKER_12What what do you mean that you don't know how to get us out?
SPEAKER_04Well, if I knew how to get out, would I even be here? I mean fair, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_01How long have you been here?
SPEAKER_04Uh I I think it's been probably about uh oh. Well I came just probably uh shortly after the the um suburbs got uh pulled in fully and oh and uh I I kind of uh was shortly after that, so probably about uh forty years or so.
SPEAKER_02How have you all not been assimilated into the mainframe by now? That that that that's such a long time.
SPEAKER_01Your face must be so cold.
SPEAKER_04Very cold, yes. Um we keep uh we keep law but there's been a large influx lately of more and more people getting pulled in. It was first uh just probably about a handful of us that were pulled in. We've lost some friends, lost some enemies, um lost a lot of um people while we've been down here and uh well uh it's it's been hard, but we've had to stay quiet. But now it is the amount of people getting pulled in is astronomical from what I hear is astronomical. Say it slower and astronomical sounds really good.
SPEAKER_01That sounds that was good, yeah. It was like pure jelly to the ear, really nice.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Um, anyways, uh so now, you know, with Noroxy's help, we're uh trying to come up with a plan to uh figure out a way to stop this.
SPEAKER_03And from what we have figured out, uh we believe that well, we've heard, of course, you guys will soon be assimilated into the uh mainframe as you guys gave uh filled out the 400 page uh application, uh gave your DNA, gave fingerprints, uh let them scan your eyes, uh by Bill Bond. Um yes, yes, and Noroxy was telling us that you have a uh great uh uh you actually are about to become the uh assistant uh to Mr. Bond. And uh Mr Mr. McClavin, uh you here um look to um well uh you have a connection that's already been pulled into the mainframe.
SPEAKER_00Assimilated Oh McLavin Oh he's so stunned he can't speak.
SPEAKER_03He can't speak coming out roughly Jonas Oh Um No, no, it's um old Jonas told me that uh well uh you're uh one of your fellow um followers of who is it uh well uh interesting. Uh one of your other followers of Charles that got pulled into you that was doing the ritual with you. Oh, uh Clay, it looks like you have your camera on in Discord here. That might be uh turn that off. I think that'll help your uh your internet connection a little bit.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, not through um not through the web app, but through Discord. Yeah. I think I think it's using more of your bandwidth. Yeah, there we go. Hey. I was able to hear you for a minute.
SPEAKER_03I think it's catching up.
SPEAKER_12Catching up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's it. Catching up, catching up.
SPEAKER_12Oh, looks like it's helping a little bit, but he's starting to glitch. Uh oh. Wait.
SPEAKER_10It's the mainframe! It's the mainframe, he's getting it. I'm not letting him talk! He's getting inseminated.
SPEAKER_12He's glitching like the cat. Oh, wait. Oh no. Oh no.
SPEAKER_03Mainframe got him.
SPEAKER_13Is it I'm having problems?
SPEAKER_12Uh you might be back. You might be back. Nope, that's a face. He's making a face.
SPEAKER_01That's what you look like on the two.
SPEAKER_14That's one two.
SPEAKER_05That's working.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Uh uh Charles uh had said to you, I don't know if you caught it. So uh he said that one of your uh he said that uh one of your other one of the other followers of Charles, the mushroom got pulled in with you. Yes, correct. The mushroom Charles, yeah. Yeah. Mushroom Charles, not uh beardless dwarf Charles.
SPEAKER_04Um yes, so I uh one of your uh fellow monks looks to already been assimilated.
SPEAKER_03You name so very well uh from what in this that we're doing we've been able to Oh no, well Yes, yes, Jeremy Jeremy's the one that uh oh so far he got assimilated looks like uh shortly yeah, around the time you got pulled in, he was performing this ritual with you on uh on Charles Oh the mushroom not Charles me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, really maybe don't mess with a magic mushroom and Clay's internet is really going through it right now.
SPEAKER_12What if we turn off the bring the mushroom I fear Alright, we'll try that. Catching up Clay, you're doing good. Um Yeah, I can hear you now. Yeah, you hear me right now.
SPEAKER_13Okay. Yeah. Sorry guys, I'm trying to keep up.
SPEAKER_03You're good, you're good.
SPEAKER_04Um so uh yes, Jeremy got pulled in.
SPEAKER_03Uh and so we were thinking that Biddlebones, of course, he is uh what some call uh he is the council, I believe. I no, he is the board, uh, is what uh Naraxi was telling us.
SPEAKER_04Uh and so if we could get him and uh well get him to talk, he may be able may be one of our only people that knows how to escape or how to stop this at least.
SPEAKER_01But isn't he like evil? Like the in the in charge of the evil Yeah, like head of all evil, a literative name.
SPEAKER_03Would be the well, it would be our evil currently, and he's you know, one of the the top bodies. I mean, uh do you know where the mainframe is where we could talk to the mainframe? Maybe we could talk, but I mean, I don't know what we don't know anything higher than Bill Bonds.
SPEAKER_01But it it seems to me that if he's in charge of the structure that is the sort of I guess oppressive regime, that he wouldn't exactly want to give out the information to those who want to get out of it.
SPEAKER_02Then you make him convince him you don't want to get out. Well, guys, uh hold on a second.
SPEAKER_12Like, what what Bill Bond may just be a pawn in a greater thing here? I mean, we don't everyone's following some sort of pattern, and uh maybe maybe Bill Bond is just the same, just a little more loosey-goosey. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I I truly get loosey-goosey vibes from him, and frankly, our job doesn't even start to the next three days, which is when we become assimilated into the mainframe anyway.
SPEAKER_12Actually, is that now two days? Because we I don't know. Oh shoot, is it?
SPEAKER_02Uh I don't I mean it depends on when that started.
SPEAKER_03So it, you know, it starts the next bus three business days. Okay, good. We have three business days.
SPEAKER_02Is it a weekend?
SPEAKER_01So really we have and it's a federal holiday on Monday.
SPEAKER_02So we have so much time, honestly.
SPEAKER_01Like six days.
SPEAKER_02I hope the battle is so much better. Well, we just have to hope that we just have to hope that the same federal holidays apply to the inside the mainframe. I feel like it has to, because this is the same mainframe that's celebrate Blorfta Day. That the overworld uses, and yeah, the mainframe will be explained.
SPEAKER_01Blorfta. Blorfted Blorfta Day.
SPEAKER_02Blorfta Day. Wait, Blorfta Day is a federal holiday?
SPEAKER_01Yes, of course. They made it one last year.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. It's one of the newer ones, but now they're all uh That's an interesting choice.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's an honor for Michelle Blorfta.
SPEAKER_02I mean, it's some people were or it some people thought it was like a political thing, but honestly, it's it's long wind. People have been celebrating it for a while. It's got a cultural significance, and uh it it it's just it's just right that it's happening now. You know, so jobs.
SPEAKER_09Um is this very important right now, or can we continue the conversation?
SPEAKER_01Oh, uh yeah. So so what? You you want us to go undercover or some shit?
SPEAKER_09Yes, yes. Um, of course, go um and get a little bond to talk.
SPEAKER_07I have a question.
SPEAKER_14Yes, he was I'll help with one of them.
SPEAKER_01So yesterday Charles he mentioned us meeting a man under a bridge and giving him this thing, and I take out my little coin. Is that one of you?
SPEAKER_09Yes, that would be me, Sir Chopsky here. Um, I uh I'm usually the man under the bridge.
SPEAKER_01Um like a troll.
SPEAKER_09Did you just call me a troll?
SPEAKER_03The halfling like stands like even more upright.
SPEAKER_09Do you does my hair standing straight up? Am I colorful? Am I over here dancing and singing and flopping around all over the place? Let's not generalize about trolls now. Proper halfling. You see my bow tie? You see it? You see it?
SPEAKER_01I reach over and I pluck the bow tie. And I'm like, touch my It's hanging on by a thread. And then I take out a little sewing kit and I start fixing his bow tie for him.
SPEAKER_03His hair. Give me a uh give me a um gosh, I don't know. Give me a uh a sew saving throw. Give me a performance check. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Okay. Uh okay. Let's see here.
SPEAKER_07Okay, I roll performance check. What do I add? Oh, I see. That is a 17.
SPEAKER_0317.
SPEAKER_07I roll the 14.
SPEAKER_03His head, his face gets beat red, um, but he then like sees that you're fixing it.
SPEAKER_01I kind of sew it onto there and I go, there. Good ass new, fancy boy.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
unknownBoop.
SPEAKER_02He he looks he looks so handsome.
SPEAKER_09That is so offensive to halflings. Don't boop my nose.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_09I'm not a child. I mean a child. Okay, I am a grown-ass halfling. I am 44 years old. I don't need my nose booped.
SPEAKER_02Hey, I was okay. So chill uh we didn't mean anything by it. We just really appreciate you helping us out. And we're we're just we just don't know how to show it. We're overwhelmed.
SPEAKER_03I I think things are getting the dragonborn cat is is over there standing up.
SPEAKER_09Sir Chomsky, I I think things are getting a little bit heated. Let's breathe, breathe. I'm this close, I'm this close. I know I it's okay. It's okay. Breathe, breathe. It's it's would it help if we sang again?
SPEAKER_02Get me. I want to go out. I don't need this kind of fame in the mainframe. All right, all right, let's call let's get let's get back on task.
SPEAKER_09Um right.
SPEAKER_03Um so we want you all to go in and of course uh you know you uh start your uh start your job. Uh well uh I mean I you know I think it would probably give you some uh extra brownie points if maybe if you just you know on the Tuesdays, you know, start early. You're about to be pulled into the mainframe in 24 to 48 hours is what uh the uh I believe is what Naraxi had told us.
SPEAKER_09Uh so that gives you guys a few days to um, you know, try to talk to Bill Bond and uh um Sir Tropsians, pull the information out of him, rip it out of him.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we'll we'll try to do that. He was really big though, so like we can. Yeah. I was very scared of him.
SPEAKER_09He's not that big. He's not that big. I could take him, I could take him. I tell you what, I I'd take him with one arm behind my back on one knee. All right, that's what I'd do.
SPEAKER_02That's what I'd do. Respectfully, why haven't you already?
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_03Very quiet. For well, we're trying to stay low-key, okay? I'm a leader of a of a of a great rebellion here, and I need to be. I'd put a lot I'd put a lot of people in danger if if if I if I went up there and faced him, you know. Monoimano.
SPEAKER_01If you're trying to remain low-key and keep a lowbrow, then why didn't Charles who walk up to my friend Virgil and slap him across the face in broad daylight?
SPEAKER_03Well, I heard he was just gawking at her.
SPEAKER_01But still, that's not mainframe behavior now, is it?
SPEAKER_02It tipped us off that she's not part of the mainframe.
SPEAKER_03Just because you're being watched, I mean, you know, somebody gawks at you and touches you. I mean, you know.
SPEAKER_01Okay, there you go.
SPEAKER_03You're like a guy gawking.
SPEAKER_01Hang on. Look.
SPEAKER_03There Charles Charles is standing in the back. It was gawking. He was he was looking me up and down. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_10I did not mean you're not gonna be able to do it.
SPEAKER_09You were doing everything but drooling over me. Okay. No, no, no. I'm not doing this.
SPEAKER_10I'm not doing it.
SPEAKER_06You don't ask you out.
SPEAKER_03Don't ask over here for asking if I'm single and if I want kids. And it sounds like it's all a part of your perverted ploy. You know what? I don't know, do what you know what I think?
SPEAKER_02I think all of you are scared to go back out there and fight the mainframe. I think you all are staying down here because you don't want to face the consequences of going up there and doing something about this and instead would rather just hold up here for 40 some fucking years.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02That's what I think. Sorry, I got a little heated there.
SPEAKER_06I No, Virgil's Virgil, you're right. Why haven't the rest of you been fighting back?
SPEAKER_04Don't you miss hard Have you ever fought a gold?
SPEAKER_00I took a Meisner class, my sophomore year.
SPEAKER_09Have you ever fought a thing that can manifest and create anything out of thin air, right in front of your eyes?
SPEAKER_04Something that can just snap and your friend is gone. Yeah, in that 40 years we have lost hundreds of people.
SPEAKER_09We've had plenty of people just like you coming in here being all hot-headed and trying to say, Oh, you know, we just have to fight the system, we have to go head on, and guess what?
SPEAKER_04Right there on the big billboards, nobody notices except for us, not a part of the mainframe. They show it on repeat. Friends getting ripped apart, allies turned into flesh doctors. People losing their minds, trying to rip their own eyes out. And you say we're scared. Damn right we are. This is a being we can't fathom.
SPEAKER_09The strength of the only thing we can do is stay lower until we find an advantage, and we haven't found one yet. Forty years we haven't found an advantage. Only thing we know, suburbs were pulled in, and now it seems like more people are being pulled in.
SPEAKER_04That wall of the bridge slowly moving towards us. That's all we know.
SPEAKER_02Well, okay, when you put it like that, I maybe can.
SPEAKER_06So you see I'm I'm uh you ever claim it?
SPEAKER_13Good try, man. Every time I try to talk, you kick me off.
SPEAKER_07It's like when in memorial.
SPEAKER_13Can you repeat that? I was saying I'm allergic to getting ripped apart, so I was hoping uh it you uh you could give us some advice on how to operate uh when we're trying to find Mr. Bill Bonds.
SPEAKER_04Well, uh, alright. Well, we know, I mean, you you know, we have the inside with that, but we also know where your friend is. Um and uh we think that that may be another uh, you know, um it seems to be one of the assistants of uh Billbone that was hired shortly at the same time as Sylvia here again Jeremy The other monk Yes the other monk. Yes. He's an actual Yes He seems, you know, to kind of been uh it's been a few days since he's been acclimated. He was almost instantly acclimated into the system, and um, you know we go find him try to get with Bill Bond, get in with him, get him to talk. That's that's all we've really got right now.
SPEAKER_02But we've but but we've already talked to Bill Bond.
SPEAKER_03I mean uh You interviewed with him, but I mean what I mean what what'd you ask him? He was asking you questions.
SPEAKER_02We basically convinced him that we wanted to get to be a part of it, but we didn't really do a lot of information hunting. We were trying to get out of there and trying to get on his side. So there's still more we can learn from him. Oh my gosh, he was so tall. He's so tall.
SPEAKER_01So terrifying. Oh my gosh, really, really scary.
SPEAKER_02He's bigger than me.
SPEAKER_01Well, uh, we can certainly try. Bit of an acting exercise, really.
SPEAKER_02Well, let me also say this uh McCleaven, I mean, what do you know about Jeremy? Maybe there's even though he's been assimilated to the mainframe, maybe there's some way we can, I don't know, appeal to his inner self that might still be there.
SPEAKER_13Well, I mean he worships a three and a half inch mushroom, so he's like a solid dude.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so he still does that, even though he's assimilated. Wait, hold on, hold on. Is is that all you know about Jeremy?
SPEAKER_01Can I ask a fundamentals question?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01When folks are assimilated into the mainframe, are they still like themselves? Is where does the soul go?
SPEAKER_14That's a great question.
SPEAKER_01We've we've seen many people seemingly glitch and for a moment come back to life.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like my cat. I hold up sleep potato. I forgot you had that cat with you anyway.
SPEAKER_14It um well, uh from all the things we've learned they're still in there.
SPEAKER_04But they're passengers and their own bodies.
SPEAKER_02Oh that's terrifying. Well okay, so we know Jeremy worships a three and a half foot mushroom. I I guess he's a normal person.
SPEAKER_12So he's a normal person. Average guy. Average guy. It's great. We have a lot of information we can work off of.
SPEAKER_01So I can report to work and hopefully begin extracting information and connecting with Jeremy, seeing if I can get anything from him. Um, what are you guys going to do?
SPEAKER_13Well, well, I don't know the politics of the situation, but I have been given a just disgustingly high charisma rating, which is perfect for me to be the the forebearer of of this very high charisma person. It would it be helpful if I went as well uh to try to uh get the information out of him.
SPEAKER_03I I don't know what you're meaning by you are you do seem pretty charismatic, but uh but you guys remember when you guys were taking the when you guys were taking those tests that they they gave you guys ratings. Oh, it's like an aptitude test thing.
SPEAKER_02Maybe if you want to like say you're job shadowing and get as much information as you can out of the idea, you know, Sylvia is like is like training, but job shadowing, you get a you get a little more of everything all at once, you know. I think it's a great idea.
SPEAKER_07That's true.
SPEAKER_02I will be happy to go log in job shadow. Uh so what what what about you and me, Michael? Oh yeah. Means you and me, Virgil. Uh what if we I think I have an idea. Oh. What if we uh because clearly these buildings have uh janitorial people, right? I mean what if we you know yeah, they've got keys and things, so like if we maybe uh I don't know, uh just pose as one of those guys out and take one of them, and like and we can take the keys. Find our way around in the city hall.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Sylvia, what's wrong?
SPEAKER_01You guys get to dress up and and and take you guys get to do all the acting, and I just have to I just have to lie.
SPEAKER_02Sylvia, what are you talking about? Locked in this difference between lying and acting. It's the same thing. Don't start her. Oh, but that's I mean, I was asking the same thing.
SPEAKER_08Okay. Fine. I'll do the more boring job. The more important, boring job.
SPEAKER_02Sylvia, if you don't do this, we may not get the chance to go back to Blowhair. Exactly. We won't get to do naked death of a salesman if you don't do this for us.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna play the death.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And we're all gonna do it so naked too, but we can't unless you do this for us, because you're the best damn actor out of all of us. If anyone's gonna convince Bill, Bill Barr that you need to know this information, you can get it out of him. You're the one to do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Because you're the best out of all of us. I need that information. Please.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh. Maybe workshop that a little bit. Oh, I know you can do it. It's it's okay.
SPEAKER_07I'll keep it.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna do such a great job.
SPEAKER_03Uh we'll uh get you guys we'll also give you guys a few extra um few items to help you guys on uh your stuff, get you guys a little bit uh more uh swag bag.
SPEAKER_04I mean it's more of preparing you for uh going back to the surface.
SPEAKER_01And I have a t-shirt that says I love the rebellion.
SPEAKER_03We definitely don't make those. Oh.
SPEAKER_02We can start. There's gotta be like a one-hour tank for someone that we made them.
SPEAKER_03We had someone that did that previously, and the moment they stepped up on the surface and they were spotted by either you know the boss babies or the deals they exploded.
SPEAKER_01Well, you make a great point. The boss baby were already in pursuit of us. So what happens the moment that we walk up and they see us again? The mainframe surely knows that we're already up to no good.
SPEAKER_09Can you guys disguise yourselves and But I have to be myself, don't I?
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, did they get a good look at you?
SPEAKER_02Specifically. I mean, we did we did blow up the drones that were chasing us. We did. I don't know, maybe McClavin's amazing charisma might be able to push us through this unscathed.
SPEAKER_01McClavin, if you were gonna give yourself a number that would represent your charisma.
SPEAKER_02On a scale of one to twenty, maybe.
SPEAKER_01What would it be?
SPEAKER_02Like 18-4.
SPEAKER_06Whoa!
SPEAKER_13That's insane.
SPEAKER_02Oozing with charisma.
SPEAKER_13Gosh, I feel perhaps the wrong person has been cast to play this role.
SPEAKER_05But here I am, stripping with the ribbons.
SPEAKER_03They're gonna take you guys back and uh they're gonna give you guys a few uh a couple uh a magical item. Um, and we're gonna actually take a break here, and we'll come back for this uh little heist.
SPEAKER_10Well righty then. Heist it up.
SPEAKER_03And we're back. Hello everyone. Um yeah, so uh during the break, uh I rolled uh some random magic items. Um I have sent you guys the links to those magic items, uh and um those are the items I give you. Uh you also all are uh given a um a little bracelet that um what uh Charles tells you he seems to be uh more of a uh uh I mean in it in his overalls and everything like that. He seems to be a guy that that knows a lot about these magic items. He takes you guys to them and kind of um gives you the the gist. The uh and he gives you guys all this bracelet and it's like this uh this here'll just kind of uh dampen you a little bit, it'll be make it just a little bit harder for the mainframe to really uh target you or um really get its eyes on you. I mean it's got his eyes everywhere, but it'll it'll disrupt So it'll like obfuscate us a little bit.
SPEAKER_12Okay, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01Do you have this in a yellow gold? I'm not really a silver kind of, you know.
SPEAKER_03Sylvia. Only silver. Only silver. It's only silver's the metal that that I can put this enchantment on. I can't really do it without. Gold and gold would also be super heavy. I mean this thing.
SPEAKER_07You don't have to give me excuses here. I I I understand what it's like.
SPEAKER_03I'm just saying how the middle works. It's that's just how it works. It's not able to uh you know attach to gold. Sorry. You know, gold is more magical properties than or silver has more magical properties than gold does, so you know it's a lot easier to uh to attune spells to enchants and stuff like that. So you know.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Interesting.
SPEAKER_03Oh, where where did you send the uh the uh I should have said that you should should have done directly? I see. Okay, thank you. Sylvia, um, you were given a broom of flying. Michael, that's so good, you were given a brooch, a brooch, a shielding. Uh but a shield and McClavin, you were very thematically given a gem of brightness. Yeah. And Virgil, you were given a deck of illusions.
SPEAKER_08Hey.
SPEAKER_12It's pretty crazy.
SPEAKER_03I was looking at it as like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_08Magic boy.
SPEAKER_03Magic boy.
SPEAKER_08Magic boy.
SPEAKER_03Um, so uh yeah, you guys were all given that, and you guys also have this uh this bracelet on that will uh kind of disrupt your uh you from being viewed by the mainframe. Um and so we will fast forward through the uh you know the national holiday and the weekend and stuff like that of you guys preparing.
SPEAKER_09We spend the holiday prepping, you know, we just kind of prepping and rap yes.
SPEAKER_13No, you training montage.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you guys do a whole training montag. You guys do a whole thing. We should we should play the montage. It's oceans 11. This is the most ocean's 11. This is the most flawless heist. You guys this thing is flawless.
SPEAKER_07Let's not even act like we're improvising this. Let's just ocean's 11 suit.
SPEAKER_12Oh like we we all we all automatically know what we what we what we planned.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So let's do it.
SPEAKER_03Alright. So it's tomb day since Monday was a national holiday. Um the whole long weekend doing all this.
SPEAKER_01Was it blah bluff today?
SPEAKER_03Bluff uh bluff. Why did I churn pages for this? In celebration of Michelle. It's on the opposite page. It's a Blorf today. Blorfta. You guys celebrated Blorfta Day, you know. She's a beautiful Blorfta. Um figure.
SPEAKER_12Is Blorfta like the like the sample? Blorfta's a person.
SPEAKER_07I thought Blorfta was like uh Michelle, it's named after Michelle Blorfta.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Controversial only for some groups, you know. It's really, it really is a long time coming. She deserves celebration, but some groups uh don't think they they think it's celebrating the wrong thing, you know. They they say we're past it, we don't have to worry about that, it's a different world, but like really there's still ramifications of that in a day-to-day. That's still we still feel the effects of you know she she defended goblin rights. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's all right. So uh it is the morning of you guys all um are just you guys got in your lines, uh, you guys went up to the surface, and you guys uh got into uh you know how everyone walks in single file lines everywhere. You guys have done over the weekend the research to figure out what lines come from where and to where, so you guys know where you need to be to either be janitors or new assistant of Bill Bond and the uh uh career shadow assistant. Yeah, career shadow of the uh assistant to the assistant manager or whatever it is, um, I think it was uh yeah, personal assistant to uh Bill Bond. Um so uh yeah.
SPEAKER_07Um, I'm a bond girl.
SPEAKER_03Virgil Michael, you guys, uh uh did you guys are you guys planning on here in the moment finding someone, or did you guys over the weekend find the stuff you guys had gotten?
SPEAKER_12So uh I I'm assuming that I was able to maybe see a janitor or someone when we were in the building last time. Uh so I cast disguised self on me to basically put myself in the clothes and kind of look a little different, but look like a janitor that would work in the building.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Alright.
SPEAKER_12In fact, I'm gonna say I cast Disguise Self and make myself look like a janitor that I actually saw in the building to the best of my knowledge.
SPEAKER_03Okay, gotcha.
SPEAKER_12Alright, and Michael?
SPEAKER_02I, you know, I want to say I was I put some stuff together and tried to get like fake enough stuff to make to me to kind of walk in. Uh yeah, over the weekend weekend trying to find that based on the image of disguised self that Virgil did.
SPEAKER_03Disguised self is self-only. Yeah. Some self-all in there.
SPEAKER_02Disguise you, though.
SPEAKER_03Unfortunately, there's totally no loophole when it says self. Unfortunately. Um but uh I'd say you could definitely give Michael advantage on his role. Um uh some sort of like uh I mean I'm basically a scratching together and like it. Uh are you proficient in like uh a sewing kit or something like that? I mean you I'm pretty sure you have uh you still have proficiencies and stuff.
SPEAKER_02So what would this costuming for the theater collective?
SPEAKER_03It would probably be I did do I mean it could be intelligence or dexterity, yeah, and then it would probably be um yeah, yeah. You could have it be your performance.
SPEAKER_02I would say you know, I Michael definitely did we talk he did do some tech theater for the collective before performing himself, so he's definitely and I did find the official the actual name of it was I put it shoot, where did I put it?
SPEAKER_03Oh no, I lost it. Oh no. Oh no, that's such a bummer. Dang it. Dang it. It's uh the multi-movement physical theater collective. That's that's what that was the name. I feel like you posted that somewhere. What happened to it? I did, I don't know what happened to it, but I did post it somewhere.
SPEAKER_02Side of hand is what I is what is what feels right, maybe.
SPEAKER_03Sure, yeah, yeah. No, and if you want to be proficient in it, uh roll with advantage.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I'm taking the proficiency bonus. I'm doing that right now. And with advantage, too? My man.
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah. Yep. Savious. That's a seven, that's a 19 on the first roll. Hell yeah. You're able to uh you're able to literally sew up a perfect um disguise, and honestly, um you can give Virgil one too, and Virgil just has to disguise himself to look like the the guy. And so Virgil has actual physical clothes that um look like them. Um look like the jander suits. Uh the only thing is uh, of course, you know, uh Virgil, you you are looking like someone else. Yeah. Someone else that is in that would be in this line with you. So, um, you guys approach this line, you see the guy that you are disguised as Virgil. Um what are you guys wanting to do?
SPEAKER_02All right, so we we accounted for this. We planned for this.
SPEAKER_12We did account. We planned for this. We we we knew this was gonna happen as I frantically look at my character sheet.
SPEAKER_01Pardon me, sir. Um this is me to the guy. Um, I'm an assistant of Mr. Bond. This is a big work. Um Mr. Bond wanted me to tell you there's a little bit of vomit in the men's restroom up on his floor. He would like you to clean it thoroughly. Not even just a first clean, a second clean, a third, and a fourth.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I'll be I'll be right up.
SPEAKER_01It's a lot of vomit.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I'll get the equipment needed.
SPEAKER_01More vomit than I have ever seen in my life.
SPEAKER_04I will get more equipment, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Someone drowned in it.
SPEAKER_04I think we need to call the authorities of someone drowned in it.
SPEAKER_07You don't have to, because they weren't a real person. They barely counted.
SPEAKER_02Flashback to the planning session that we had. They weren't assimilated yet, were they?
SPEAKER_01Don't you know it? Uggoes, am I right?
SPEAKER_04Oh, get rid of him.
SPEAKER_03And he goes and uh you see him do get all the cleaning supplies, mops, and he also has a shovel, oh, a bunch of bags, he brings some Clorox and some chlorine and stuff. Um, he has a whole cart worth of uh stuff to deal with, I guess, this throw-up and everything.
SPEAKER_12I I I just want to real quick have like a flashback to when we were planning stuff, like the tables there, and I go, okay, Sylvia, you have to make sure that you stay exactly on script.
SPEAKER_02Don't don't falter with the alright, we have the lines right here. No improv.
SPEAKER_01All the scripts. Tell him to go clean the bathroom and then don't say anything else.
SPEAKER_02Nothing else. It's just gonna be that.
SPEAKER_01I'm hearing you right. You don't want me to come up with a weird reason for him to go in the bathroom. We just need him to go to the bathroom. Vaguely, bathroom, keep the stakes nice and low.
SPEAKER_02Yes. You sound like you're gonna. Alright, never mind. I I trust forward.
SPEAKER_01Flashback forward to the guy walking by the uncommon thing I've ever seen.
SPEAKER_03Vir Virgil, you and Michael are are in in a closet just peeking out.
SPEAKER_11Alright.
SPEAKER_02Do I look like a over at them and I just go wink at the closet? I'm gonna kill her. Alright. And so I I go at we go ahead and step out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Alright. Uh two janitors. Uh well, uh, yeah, you guys uh you guys don't yet have any keys, by the way. But uh you guys are um walking around and getting uh doing your janitorial duties. Uh Sylvia and McClavin. Uh you guys walk in the front door, um and you guys are greeted by uh the oh so lovely um lady that I cannot remember the name of. Oh, we'll say it's a different uh uh a new front counter lady. No, it was those were the uh the two computers. Was it Margaret? Was that the name? Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, thank you. Wow, I'm terrible with name. Oh, there it is. There's Margaret! Oh, she's down there. Why is she below Bill? Oh, Bill Bond was established before Margaret was established. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Um, you guys are met by Margaret the uh the elderly woman.
SPEAKER_09She's like, Oh, your first day here's welcomes.
SPEAKER_01Margaret, I was so excited, I just had to start early.
SPEAKER_09Oh, of course. Mr. Bond will appreciate you taking the initiative.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and I've got a shadow today. Isn't that exciting?
SPEAKER_04Wonderful, wonderful. I mean, Mr. Bond doesn't like um surprises, but well.
SPEAKER_13I'll be quiet in the mouse and no one will even notice I'm here.
SPEAKER_09He does go through his assistance quite quickly. Um they get those strikes very, very fast. Um, um, yeah, so might as well great.
SPEAKER_08I awesome.
SPEAKER_09Remember three strikes and you're out. You're gone.
SPEAKER_06Thank you, Margaret.
SPEAKER_09You don't exist. Alright, you know where his office is? Do you want me to lead you up there? You head up there yourself.
SPEAKER_01Oh, Margaret, I think I remember. Thank you so much. You're a doll.
SPEAKER_03Of course, thank you, thank you. Of course. Head that way? Um and you guys begin heading up the stairs. What's this what's phase two of the plan?
SPEAKER_01Phase two, assimilation.
SPEAKER_12Are you asking the whole group or just Sylvia?
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, we'll we need to go we need to go get some keys. And we know, we know that a different closet has a set of spare keys. Problem is it's also locked. So we gotta get we have to we gotta figure that out. Yeah, we gotta break into it.
SPEAKER_13We've been told to ask Bill questions. We have to get to Bill Bonds and then ask him questions I'm suspecting without making him suspicious.
SPEAKER_01Margaret, I turn around.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Margaret, oh my gosh. I I am such a klutz. You know, you know, I am so scared of getting my first strike on my first day. I I agree with you completely. I I don't want to start off on a wrong foot. No, I don't. It occurs to me um that I I noticed uh the other day when I was when I was touring the um the assistance break room up on Bob's floor is completely out of toilet paper. Can't can't go to his palace without paper palace. Yep. And um and I I wondered, could you open that uh closet over there across the atrium from me? Because they have the sort of ply that I know Mr. Vaughn really enjoys his assistance.
SPEAKER_09Yes, I'll I'll get one of the janitors to head over there right away.
SPEAKER_03Um uh and uh she hits a button uh and Virgil Michael I mean I don't have the keys.
SPEAKER_09That's just the janitors that have access to that. I don't I don't really go back there.
SPEAKER_07Oh, got it.
SPEAKER_03Um she goes to press the button. Uh Michael Virgil, you guys uh you guys knew about this button.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_03And you guys knew to get Margaret off the desk, you guys had to sabotage this little uh uh command call to the janitors. How'd you guys sabotage this? Michael, do you want to take it away?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. So we we were able to go into a uh uh We know the the Rebellion of the Relian has has like you know a lot of information about these buildings. Of course the flashback you guys can do. Yeah, and the flashback. They're showing us showing us, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're showing us like here is blueprints of City Hall, we can't do anything about it, and we find a connection that we have to break the connection, you know. It's something we have to do like after we're already inside. So we're already inside the building. Next thing we do before uh we get the keys out of that place is to break the connection between the button and like whatever uh uh signal is supposed to go out to. So I find where it is in the wall, like like it's in it's in like a utility panel. Yep. And I find which connection it is and I bite it. Okay.
SPEAKER_12Michael was was made for this job.
SPEAKER_03All right, Michael.
SPEAKER_12Um let's just hope that doesn't shock you.
SPEAKER_03Uh roll me a constitution save.
SPEAKER_02I I guess I could have flipped the breaker first, but you didn't. I have an intelligence of ten. I gotta bite it. Constitution might it's plus two, so let's open prey. Constitution save. That's a crit fail. It hit 19, fell over onto one.
SPEAKER_03Oh no my goodness. You take nine points of lightning damage. Yeah, but you take you you get that uh you but Virgil, you're just over here and you like yeah, he's making a lot of noise.
SPEAKER_02I try to pull him off the uh like off the panel, like be real careful with the bike.
SPEAKER_07I imagine kick him over.
SPEAKER_13Kick him with the boots, kick him over.
SPEAKER_07I imagine that we sort of see that out of the corner of our eyes.
SPEAKER_12Oh yeah, not making a scene at all.
SPEAKER_03Well, no, the uh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say you'd be able to see it. It's it's really in a very far back corner underneath the stairs. Um, Virgil, you'll I'll say uh Virgil, you assisting him, you can take half the damage if you want. You can take four, and Michael can take five. Let's do it. Um you're able to pull him off of it, but you guys are able to rip that connection. Uh okay, Michael. Um and you when you see that, Sylvia, you see the connections gone.
SPEAKER_01I say, well, uh Margaret, actually, you know.
SPEAKER_09Why are they not coming?
SPEAKER_01Oh, Margaret, I'm sure they'll be on their way. Uh would you mind actually showing me upstairs? I I am a little turned around.
SPEAKER_09I mean, I I'll just I'll just go grab one of them. That's real.
SPEAKER_03I'll get one of them to go take a look at the connections too.
SPEAKER_01Um make sure that, you know, Oh Margaret, I'm I'm I'm already running five minutes late. Please can you take me upstairs? I don't want to strike on my birthday.
SPEAKER_09My old bones can't really get me up up the stairs. But oh you head upstairs, I'll I'll make sure that one of the janitors go and get that unlocked and get get some of your um paper palace upstairs for your whiz palace and and I don't know what else you were saying, but yeah, I'll go get one of them.
SPEAKER_03Um uh uh you see as you guys you guys head upstairs, uh Michael and Virgil, you see as Margaret goes, walks up to a janitor.
SPEAKER_09Can you guys go get that?
SPEAKER_03Um and then she walks up to you. Can you two can you two the my button's not working for calling the people up uh calling janitors?
SPEAKER_14Can you can you guys go take a look at it for a minute? We're on it.
SPEAKER_04Thank you, thank you, of course.
SPEAKER_03Um and she turns her back, goes, uh you guys seize the jander heads towards that uh that room um that has that spare key in it. So that is locked. A jander's walking towards it.
SPEAKER_12So I'm gonna I'm gonna walk as I walk towards the button, because clearly that crosses where that door is. Um so I'm and I time my steps perfectly so that right as I'm crossing in, he's gonna open that door.
SPEAKER_02And then I'm gonna go behind and gonna try to put him in a chokehold and go into that room and try to try to just just knock him out. Like give him a good chokehold and knock him out.
SPEAKER_03Okay, hell yeah. Roll me, uh we'll do a competing uh athletics check.
SPEAKER_12Oh boy. Really tough. Let's see. Okay, athletics check, let's see. I am proficient in athletics. Let's see. Okay. Okay, I need to roll the screen. Suspense is killing me. I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_03How's it going? How's it gonna work?
SPEAKER_1214 14.
SPEAKER_03He rolled a natural four for a six. So you are successful, you guys both get into that room, you choke him out, get him down, and you guys now have the spare key as well as the keys on this guy. We're both armed.
SPEAKER_12I'm gonna close the door and lock it. And then that way we don't have to worry about him anymore.
SPEAKER_03All right. Perfect. Um, so you guys head uh are in there. And Sylvian McClavin, you guys head upstairs. And uh you are uh you're you were probably actually roll me both of you guys just a real quick D20 as an eight fourteen fourteen, all right, McClavin. What'd you roll?
SPEAKER_13Uh eleven.
SPEAKER_03Eleven, alright. You guys uh two seconds to spare. You guys get into Bill Bond's office.
SPEAKER_04First strike on the first day, Sylvia, would not have been a great start for you.
SPEAKER_00Yes, Mr. Bond.
SPEAKER_03You see there are four other assistants uh standing there with you, um, and they all are just staring straight forward, very blank faces.
SPEAKER_04Um who did you bring with you, Sylvia?
SPEAKER_01We have a shadow sent to us from the city. This is remind me your name.
SPEAKER_13McClavin.
SPEAKER_05I just kidding McClavin.
SPEAKER_04Uh and McLavin did it.
SPEAKER_01McClavin.
SPEAKER_04Mick Mick, so your name's Mick.
SPEAKER_01McClavin.
SPEAKER_04Mick Clavin.
SPEAKER_01All right, Mick.
SPEAKER_03In line, please. And as you uh step forward and get in line, you see just to the other side of Sylvia is uh Jeremy. Uh your very average uh human guy. Yes, the other it is uh it's a little bit long, a little bit shaggy. Um he's got a little clean shaven. Um you know, he's not too fit. He's not, you know, he's not overweight or anything. He's just your average guy. But yeah, he's standing there and um Bill Bond's like, alright. You all are on your first day and he pushes his hands and he his wide shoulders goes up above all of your guys' heads and uh as the windows behind him uh sets the shadow upon all of you You are here to do my bidding as he does, angling his horns towards all of you and if you step out of line you get a strike One strike you're in trouble two You better not get three Three You're gone For the good Understand Yes, Mr Bond Mr Bond You get me some coffee You here's some paperwork, take it downstairs, make me three hundred copies You uh get me here um He hands uh Jeremy a laptop emails I need emails reply to and I need them all done by noon.
SPEAKER_04Sylvia, you and your shadow I have a special task for you Already Stay here the rest of you your tasks will take the whole morning Hurry Um as they all turn around and hurly rush out the door Sylvia going to assist me with my schedule You'll be keeping track of everything, you'll be note-taking, and if a single word is wrong That's a strike, let me guess.
SPEAKER_01That's a strike Thank you, yes.
SPEAKER_04I've ASM'd before Yes, all right, uh and well uh your assistant or your shadow here, uh Mr. Mick. Tell me would you like to be an assistant? Would you like to be into politics?
SPEAKER_13Oh yes, I'm I'm so excited to be here uh assisting. Uh um I can't wait to find out what I need to do.
SPEAKER_01Tell him about your qualifications.
SPEAKER_13I'm I'm I am so qualified. Uh, you know, I've I've been I've been into and thinking about politics for as as long as I've heard of their existence. Um definitely wasn't earlier today. Um really excited to be here. Uh I'm very into the kind of work that you do here. Which which I'm excited to hear about.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I mean we are here uh run a lot of the city's uh well progress. That is what we do is we progress.
SPEAKER_01Progress from what? One would say that progression only comes from a certain starting point. What was the city like before you got here, Mr. Bond? I hear you've done great things for the city.
SPEAKER_04This city was merely just a plane nothing No civilization No But we built it into something and soon it will become reality Oh big plans then Yes, yes, our plans are big Yes, I have a uh I have a meeting later today, a very important one that I would of course need you to take extreme detailed note.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and who's the meeting list?
SPEAKER_04Oh, it is a Mr. Rear. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01I uh yes, great. I I look forward to the meeting. It'll be that yes, we have a merger coming up, and I think we will be very it'll be a very uh a merger between the two uh cities.
SPEAKER_04Well we'll get in the details in the meeting, of course. I understand. I don't want to jump the gun on anything.
SPEAKER_01Just wanted to organize my notes better.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh, yes.
SPEAKER_03Well, uh for the time being, um yes, uh here's my schedule. Uh he gives you a schedule. Make sure you're back in my office here on my schedule.
SPEAKER_04Uh but for now, make sure the first guy is getting my coffee extra hot. If not, you let me know.
SPEAKER_00Captain.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Alright. As he does, and say, You're free to go.
SPEAKER_04Be back at nine.
SPEAKER_03And he uh you see his first thing, his first meetings at nine, and blotty daddy dot. Alright, phase two is complete. What's phase three?
SPEAKER_02I I I wanna say Virgil and I are looking for have we to establish what we're looking for, or we're just also trying to get in there? Because I I want to say we're looking for like some kind of a terminal for the mainframe, maybe. We're looking for uh because we don't know exactly because the thing is we're in the mainframe. But right, we're in the mainframe, but and and we don't know this. That's strictly talking to Mr. Gruyere, but like maybe we can infer there's some way to interface with the outside world. Although maybe we can't because the rebellion doesn't know how to get out. Well, we're trying to see if maybe because this is probably the most official building in the entire city. And clearly there are factors at play that affect the mainframe with this building, and also there seems to be some interplay. So we're trying to find as much info, potentially find uh maybe a secret room, or maybe get some information. That's what we're trying to find. Yeah. Then we can look at the blueprints. I okay. We looked at the blueprints. I want to say we probably are able to investigate and see what rooms seemed out of place, or seemed like there's no structurally there has to be a room here where it looks like it looks like there wasn't one, or maybe there's not a full, but you know where you know what you know, but there are some spots to where you guys that's unknown.
SPEAKER_03So you know where you don't need to be looking. Yeah. So there's some places to where no you guys have keys. I feel like there's some suspicious areas based on the floor plans and layouts we've seen where it goes, no, there should be there should be a room right here, or there at least is like an empty space that uh one of you guys roll me either like some sort of like investigation or um let's see uh uh and anyone can really roll this uh because we're back this is a flashback to the investigation of the uh blueprints.
SPEAKER_12Uh okay. I I I'm not particularly good at investigation.
SPEAKER_02If anyone I can make myself uh uh proficient in it, I still have some proficiencies that are on assigned for for my many skills. I am just yeah. Uh no, I'm looking at it right now. I really should have. Or well, no. Hmm.
SPEAKER_12Because I've got athletics and insight, that's what I have.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. So you want investigation, or what else? What are the options you're gonna do?
SPEAKER_03Like like really investigation is probably the best.
SPEAKER_02Probably I'll give us that plus two. There we go.
SPEAKER_03And you can get advantageous since you guys are all looking at these uh plans together in the our planning phase. Because nothing is improvised here, guys. No, this is all going according to the plan. And Sylvia is definitely staying on script.
SPEAKER_01Yes, everything, she's behaving herself. Um I rolled a nine.
SPEAKER_02That was a four. I rolled a really bad roll. That I I'm just not I'm not with advantage? Oh, wait, advantage. You're still with advantage because with advantage, with advantage, it's actually it's actually a five.
SPEAKER_13So yes, I rolled a four-too.
SPEAKER_07Oh okay, so we wanted to roll those fours.
SPEAKER_02Yes, all of course.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you guys, of course, I I mean, you guys are able to cross out everything. Um but the main thing is like you guys don't know there's something that's on the floors beneath Bill Bond's office. They're unknown. All right. There are a few other places, of course, that are, you know, near back the like utilities. There's one, there's some rooms that are next to the cafeteria, maybe mechanical and stuff like that. But uh the one underneath Bill Bond's room is the one that you guys kind of uh uh uh initially are like, this is the first place we need to look.
SPEAKER_02That makes that make so much sense. Like, of course, it's gonna be close to him. He's the guy that's in charge. But it's weird. Why would he want to go far away to do whatever he's doing, being in charge of the mainframe? It'd be right next to him. But what's weird is that it's this floor layout doesn't make any sense. I mean, it's almost like this room is in between the first and second floor if it existed. How does that work? I mean, we're inside the mainframe. I'm not too concerned, I guess. I mean, I guess you're right. I guess we'll figure it out when we get it. Object permanence.
SPEAKER_01May not this is why phase two is called mainframe, main lame.
SPEAKER_02Am I right? Yes.
SPEAKER_03Alright, so you guys are going uh to the room underneath the uh underneath Bill Bond's office. Um you guys go and the room is locked. You guys check your guys' keys. I got the key. Um and it unlocks. Oh. Excellent. As you guys step in, the room is dark. There's no windows in this room. Uh crap.
SPEAKER_02Uh who has dark vision, a light.
SPEAKER_13Um my god, I have so many ways to make light.
SPEAKER_12You are in the wrong room, my guy.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I'd like I I I can't I have a little like torch with me. Sure. I mean like electric torch, not not you know, a little bit. You know what you mean.
SPEAKER_12This is all according to plan.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yep. Yeah. I'd say uh yeah, I mean, surprisingly, you guys do have uh you guys do of course have your uh what are they data slabs. Oh, okay. My flashlight, my data slabs, yeah. But your guys you guys have like any you guys only have uh able to use like the tools here. Like you're able to use your flashlight in the calculator and stuff like that, but um any other stuff you try to use it to like call or or access the mainframe, it just fizzes out.
SPEAKER_02Um I mean that doesn't bother me none. Mine's an older data slab, it's like more like a flip phone kind of deal. Since I found out we're in the mainframe, it's been living on it's been living on airplane mode. I haven't turned it off that since I found out we're in the mainframe. Like it I am I do not like that.
SPEAKER_03Uh you turn on your flashlight uh and uh you guys uh see as the light shines up. Storage. Oh. Well I mean desks, chairs, tables, filing cabinets, uh all piled up in the corners.
SPEAKER_12Well, this doesn't feel very nefarious.
SPEAKER_02I mean hiding in plain sight, maybe it's somewhere in here, and I want to look through everything. I everything. I guess I I don't know. It's all piled up. Investigation. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I can let's let's see investigation checks uh in this room. I'll uh let's see. They're they're both for me.
SPEAKER_02I can investigate, but they're both plus two for me.
SPEAKER_12That's a 17 for perception.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I can roll a 19 now. Now that I'm investigating, I can roll a 19. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh you got you guys are in here. You have like you have another jander poke in because you guys are making up so you guys are throwing sh like you're like, there has to be something here. I knew it. We planned for this, something is here. Uh as another jander, is everything okay?
SPEAKER_11Yep, just uh uh I mean sorry. Yes, um, spring cleaning. Okay.
SPEAKER_02And he just closes the door, leaves and closes the door. Perfect. That was not according to plan.
SPEAKER_14The door opens back to your wage. Um, do you need assistance?
SPEAKER_12I turn to look at Michael. I turn and look back.
SPEAKER_02Oh shh. Actually, actually, go come over here. We actually I have a question I want to ask you. Come in here.
SPEAKER_11Come in here.
SPEAKER_03Closes the door in this uh shorter human comes up to you. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Do you think and I and I appointed this? Do you do you think this do you think this is more of like a maroon, or is it more of like uh uh like a purple of a red? I'll put out like one of the chairs. Like, what do you what do you think it is?
SPEAKER_04I think it's brown.
SPEAKER_02Does he step in front? The idea is that when he steps in front of me to get a closer look at it as I go behind him and try and choke him out.
SPEAKER_03He says, I think it's brown, and he kind of steps forward.
SPEAKER_02Roll me, roll me like god damn it.
SPEAKER_03Athletic chick with advantage.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god. Okay. I'm I'm plus three, so yeah, roll with advantage. Okay, well they gotta have advantage because that's a that was a seven. Okay, yeah, now this is a 15. 15.
SPEAKER_05You're able to knock a second janitor out.
SPEAKER_03Um, and as you do that, um, you notice that this janitor here, you look at his keychain and he's got an extra key on it.
SPEAKER_02Perfect. I we're swapping out keychains. I'm getting his new key upgrading.
SPEAKER_03He's got this, he's got this uh this special key that looks um you guys can can just kind of see that there's some sort of like magical energy emanating off of this key. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Is it do I feel like it's magnetized?
SPEAKER_12I feel like it would feel like oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can do I could do an arcana check.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_12Maybe would that do the trick? Oh no, never mind. I'm not proficient in arcana or have any bonuses to arcana. Why would I do that?
SPEAKER_03Never mind. Yeah, I mean, you guys have this key, um, and uh after uh after a second you hold this key, you put it on, you are Michael, you actually become attuned to this key. Alright, that's really cool. And as it does, uh you hear uh you either you can just sense it basically like uploading the information into your mind of where this key goes. Um and it's one of those other rooms. There is a there was a room that was next to the cafeteria that looked like it went into uh a freezer that was written off on your your deal, but the key is telling you that's where it goes to. Michael, are you okay?
SPEAKER_02You're uh you're staring off into space. Virgil know we're going next. Follow me.
SPEAKER_03All right. You both have said you both have basically said, Phineas, I know what we're doing today. All right, uh back to Sylvian McClavin's phase three. Uh you guys were given a little bit of time. Um, you have to go check on the guy with uh getting the coffee, making sure it's extra hot. Um, and then of course, you guys know that Jeremy was sent to do emails.
SPEAKER_01Um Mick. Mick Darling. Yes, the Biden conquer. Are you gonna go chat with Jeremy? I'll take her the coffee.
SPEAKER_13I will go chat with Jeremy.
SPEAKER_01Great.
SPEAKER_13Talk a little mushroom.
SPEAKER_01Great. I'm gonna see see if you can try to bring out the real Jeremy any way possible, okay?
SPEAKER_13Yes.
SPEAKER_01If there's one thing that being here has taught me, it's that they're in there, deep, deep down. Now we gotta go scald a boy with coffee. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03All right. So uh Mick, you head uh head into the assistant break room, and you can see Jeremy sitting very upright, which is very he has an average posture. He doesn't really he doesn't ever sit straight upright. Um, he's usually slouching a little bit in his chair, but he's sitting extremely upright, and he is just typing away uh at this on this laptop. Um having to use the the little pad for a mouse. He doesn't have uh an actual mouse here, so he's he's like going and clicking on things with the little pad and going back to typing and stuff.
SPEAKER_13Um sure. So Jeremy buddy, what you doing?
SPEAKER_03Oh, hello. You're the new shadow to the new
SPEAKER_13Yep, I'm just trying to see what everybody does around here.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh. I am replying to emails as Bill Bond instructed as he continues to type away. Do you remember what you were doing like yesterday? Waiting for my shift. Waiting to start this new opportunity. Grand opportunity. Anything anything before that? No. No. No, I was just uh just waiting for an opportunity. You an opportunity to progress.
SPEAKER_13You don't remember me, you know, a three and a half inch, adorable three and a half inch mushroom named Charles.
SPEAKER_03Uh roll me a um. Roll me a persuasion check. Or religion check. Either one. I've got a plus four religion. Ooh. Okay.
SPEAKER_13So does that mean I roll you 20 and then add four to it?
SPEAKER_03Correct.
SPEAKER_13Alright. Oof, six. So f ten?
SPEAKER_03Ten. Okay. Never heard of it. He says as he doesn't look up from his uh his laptop.
SPEAKER_13Um do I have any spell guidance.
SPEAKER_03Guidance is a good spell. It could be I would say it could be one that would I would say you'd be able to use for um if you're trying to get him to remember and stuff.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, okay, because sorry, that's what I was look looking over that. That looks like the most Yeah, a lot of light and curing wounds. Light guys. Yeah. All right. No one's all all about lightness and healing. All right. Um, so uh so yeah, can I cast a guidance on him to try to uh get him um get him to get in touch with himself?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Uh so you touch him on the shoulder. Uh what do you say to him?
SPEAKER_13These are the droids you're looking for? No, sorry. Um uh I say, no, but uh similar trick. I say uh I say uh you remember Charles, the three and a half foot, uh three and a half inch adorable mushroom.
SPEAKER_03Alright, and he gets a D4 added to it.
SPEAKER_13Sorry, so I just I I need to roll a 20 and add four.
SPEAKER_03Uh no, no, it's uh it's giving him uh it gives him a bonus to his roles. You're trying to get him to remember it, casting guidance on him. You give him a d4. He actually rolled a four on it and he rolled an eighteen. Oh. Uh which with him, he would have a similar check to you. So that would be a twenty-six. As you do that, and you say, You don't remember Charles? Charles the three and a half inch mushroom. He's like his fingers stop for a second.
SPEAKER_04Great Charles. Yes.
SPEAKER_09Oh, oh McLavin! What where are we?
SPEAKER_13What hey there, bud! Great question. What's happening? Question that deserves answering. What's happening? Why am I doing I hate emails? We are in some kind of mainframe, um, and we we are still sorting out the details, but I'm so glad that you remembered. And we got you back.
SPEAKER_03Oh, what is that? Why do I have such a terrible headache? Oh. Uh and as uh as this happens, um Sil you hear Sylvia like going past Sylvia. You are are are walking back with the uh the the guy that was getting him his piping hot cup of coffee. You're walking past the the assistant's break room. Um what it what is it you're doing uh with the to the assistant or with the assistant?
SPEAKER_01I I am like I think heel to like directly behind him, like almost like barking at him, going, going, and remember, if it doesn't give you a second degree burn, it's not hot enough.
SPEAKER_03He pulls his finger out of the coffee and it What would you rather burn or strike?
SPEAKER_01Burn a burn strike. Now go bring it to his office right now until let me hear another scream from you again.
SPEAKER_03When away as he he uh quickly patterns away as uh you walk into the the break room as uh uh Jeremy's holding his head uh as uh him and McClavin are talking. We've made contact, but he's got a bit of a headache now. Oh what's my goodness uh what oh this doesn't feel like a normal headache. What's going on? Where are we?
SPEAKER_01Maybe detaching to the frame. I'm still I'm Sylvia. Um I'm a friend.
SPEAKER_03Um not you! Who is that? And he looks like he's looking up and to the left. Oh.
SPEAKER_07I sort of glanced my eyes up there, but there's nobody there.
SPEAKER_03You guys see nothing. It looks like he's like looking up and who's with you.
SPEAKER_01Who do you see?
SPEAKER_09Uh I I see nothing. I see everything.
SPEAKER_03I there's oh there's people people getting pulled in. Um I'm gonna have him roll another ability check with that guidance up. Um hell yeah. He gets a uh twenty. Um as he's able to Jeremy's able to hold control uh right now. Um but Jeremy's great. He's uh he's still he's still in a lot of pain.
SPEAKER_09The walls they're closing. The walls are closing. The walls people assimilate it. Assimilate it. It's it's coming. One orange orc. He's there. So much money.
SPEAKER_03Uh let me roll another check for Jeremy.
SPEAKER_12It's a Mr. Grurier for sure. Yeah, six.
SPEAKER_07Did you say orange orc? I heard that right, right? Yeah, orange orc. Yeah, that's it's like the Mr. Velveeta of orcs.
SPEAKER_03Uh and as this happens, Jeremy falls limp face down on the keyboard.
SPEAKER_10Oh dang.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Jeremy.
SPEAKER_01Is he alive? And I check, is he alive?
SPEAKER_03Uh it feels like he has a pulse.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03And you feel it quicken and almost go to a hum as Jeremy sits upright.
SPEAKER_14And he looks to both of you. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00Uh we were just checking your emails making sure they're in order for Mr. Bond.
SPEAKER_01Why are you digging because it's a child of females.
SPEAKER_14We all know what you're doing.
SPEAKER_00Stop you from doing what? That's where you're wrong. We'll stop you. We'll find a way.
SPEAKER_14You will join us too, brother, looking at you, McClavin.
SPEAKER_13Well, you know, you seem to be having such a good time with the emails. Uh, I will I I I wouldn't want to take work from you, uh, seeing how uh you're doing such a good job with it. We have a very important 9 a.m. meeting to get to. Should we do a time check?
SPEAKER_00Yes, it looks like it's getting to be that time.
SPEAKER_14Charles will wither. When we come.
SPEAKER_03Listen, don't bring Charles into this. Turns clicking on the emails. Goes back to the emails. I thought for sure he was gonna glitch it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that was crazy.
SPEAKER_01I I I'm gonna grab McLaven and yoink him out of the room.
SPEAKER_13Uh I will be easily yoinkable.
SPEAKER_00What the hell was that?
SPEAKER_13I don't I I I don't know. He was there for a second and then absolutely not there.
SPEAKER_01It it's like lodge dislodging him from the mainframe absolutely destroyed his entire personality, that it almost killed him.
SPEAKER_13Almost not able to put together sentences.
SPEAKER_01But more people are getting pulled in. Uh we should get to this meeting.
SPEAKER_03Uh you guys head back uh to this uh this meeting. This isn't the meeting with Mr. Cruyere, but um uh it is uh it's a meeting. You go in, take notes. Uh Virgil and Michael, you guys head in towards the cafeteria. Um some of the cooks looks like they're all chopping in unison.
SPEAKER_02Oh god. I mean that could also just be regular kitchen.
SPEAKER_03That's all uh like that's swiping the stuff in the bowls. Uh yeah, just a really heavy rhythm in here. Everyone's stepping in unison, stepping in rhythm, and being in a kitchen, it all echoes a lot. It's very good acoustics in here. Yeah, all the tile, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very food safe. The stainless steel, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Everything stainless steel, tile floor. Uh it's pristine. A pristine kitchen. Ah, that's beautiful.
SPEAKER_12You like you would think people would drop like food on the ground or something. No, it does not happen. There's just so much strike, buddy.
SPEAKER_02Sorry, you're you're you're in my restaurant GM Fantasy right now talking about it's the cleanest kitchen.
SPEAKER_03Uh so you guys head towards uh the freezer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um it's locked, right? I go to it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you you seize the key. Uh this is where the key is directing you to.
SPEAKER_02Hey, check this out. I gotta unlock it.
SPEAKER_03Check this out. Um Michael, that's a free oh. As uh as you guys go in, you uh you open it, and it looks like you just see like the the cold steam just kind of yeah. The cold cloud pretty much just covering the in you can't see inside of there, but this cold steam just kind of starts flowing out. Um and you can't see inside of this refrigerator. This well in fridge.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm gonna go inside. Like I can't I can't tell what's out what's going on from out here. Are you sure that's sick? Oh, all right. It's okay, it's now or we're we're assimilated, so I guess you're right.
SPEAKER_12I follow behind Michael.
SPEAKER_03Uh you guys step in and uh you guys see a large empty space. Um white floors, gray ceiling. Michael, what what is it what is on your mind when you step in?
SPEAKER_02Is that I want to try to find a way out without losing who I am. I'm scared of being assimilated.
SPEAKER_03As you step in, you step into a lush forest, beautiful bushes, the trees reaching up, shading you from the harsh sun above. You can hear uh mechanical birds tweeting uh and uh see a few uh skittering clockwork uh rabbits running past. Virgil, what is it you're thinking of when you're walking into the clouds?
SPEAKER_12Into the freezer, sorry. I'm just thinking I'm going I could die. This could be the end if we're not careful, we could lose everything we care about.
SPEAKER_03As you walk in, you hear marching, darkness, you see nothing. You hear marching, you hear the rhythm, and you uh can feel what is the energy inside of you? What is it that what is it that you pull your power from?
SPEAKER_12Um the power that I pull from. It's funnily enough, it's my own rhythm.
SPEAKER_03You feel as your own rhythm, which you can you feel you know your rhythm, and you feel it off. And this is slowly, slowly gets pulled into this, into this marching, this rhythm. Your rhythm is very fluid, very, very smooth, very um, very your own. Uh and and there's no I wouldn't say there's probably a set too much of a set pattern to your own rhythm, but you feel as it's slowly getting pulled, and as you do, you you feel it jolting. You feel it jolt again. Michael, you you begin to kind of hear this rhythm as well in the forest. But Virgil, what it what is it you're you're thinking here? What do you do as your rhythm's getting pulled? This rhythm is not your own. It's it won't be you once it sinks up. Can you hear me, Chase? Hello? Oh can anyone hear me? I can hear you. I can hear you. Okay, gotcha. Making sure, make sure Chase was hearing me. Yeah, I was I lost, I lost you for a second. Okay. Um the rhythm you hear you heal you you hear it, you feel it getting pulled away from you. And this rhythm that's becoming, it's it's not you. What what are you doing?
SPEAKER_12No. No! No! I try to I try to pull myself away, like in like my internal emotions like pull pull my rhythm away.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Uh uh and uh are you are you trying to like flee? Are you trying to like just defend yourself? What you're trying to like hold I'm trying to push forward and strengthen my rhythm. Okay, hell yeah. I'll say you use one of your uh we'll we'll call your key points your rhythm points. Um and uh we'll say use one of your rhythm points uh and uh you use your step of the wind feature as you kind of like push through and you're pushing your rhythm through. You push it through. Um and uh as you do uh roll me a quick um roll me a quick wisdom check, and then we'll go uh I'll get what that role is here in a second. Um Michael, you're s saying this blush force. What what is it you do?
SPEAKER_02I mean I feel relieved first. I I I because this maybe I found the way out, and this is just a weird I mean we we we spawned in in like a uh a weird pond. Maybe you spawn out in in a bunch of wilderness, but but I I heard some rhythm you said, right? Okay, well then I then that can't be right. That's not the real world. Real world doesn't have a rhythm out of nowhere like this. That's not okay. What if I hear a direction it's coming from? Or is it just all around me, also?
SPEAKER_03You you hear it all around you.
SPEAKER_02It's very faint. Nah, I hate that. Hate that so much. Nope, nope. I'm gonna turn around. If I turn around, I don't see the door anymore. I'm just in the clearing. Uh you don't see the door anymore, no.
SPEAKER_03You're just in this clearing.
SPEAKER_02I'll still try to walk toward where the door was.
SPEAKER_03Okay. All right. Uh as you walk forward towards the door, um you hear uh you hear a voice.
SPEAKER_14You hear Arnold's voice. Oh man. Michael? Michael!
SPEAKER_02Yo I bye bye Michael, where are you? Tim Panam Twitch, I'm like, yo, Arnold, I yo. Michael, um, are you are you are you out here? I'm trying to get out here. Where are you?
SPEAKER_14Um I mean I'm out in the forest with you, man. We're we're hunting. No we're hiking, you know. We're just hiking.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Do you hear that? I don't hear anything. Come on. Come Come over here, I wanna show you something. I can't I wanna show you something. I wanna show you something. I wanna show you something. I can't follow you.
SPEAKER_03I wanna show you something.
SPEAKER_02You're not going to. I won't let you.
SPEAKER_04Michael. I want to show you something. It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02It's the future. I'ma walk over to him. You walk over. You don't see Arnold. You just see. Oh, I don't see him. I just hear. Okay, gotcha. Thought I heard him. No, okay, no. I'm not gonna walk toward him then. I'm not if I hear a direction on that. Sorry, I thought he was an apparition in front of me. No, if he's not like physically there, I'm trying to get the fuck away from that.
SPEAKER_03Okay. You you continue walking back and you hear this and you hear Arnold's voice get distorted as you um you step backwards, and uh as you do, you trip and you're back in the kitchen. Um Virgil, you're pushing forward. Uh as you do, you're pushing your rhythm. You're push, you push. Uh, what was that? Uh what was your wisdom check that you made? It was a nice crisp five. As you push forward, the rhythm is uh well actually uh since you used a a rhythm point roll with advantage real quick.
SPEAKER_12Okay, well, thank God. That's a nice crisp 13. Oh, I thought you were about to say three.
SPEAKER_03Uh you push forward and push forward, and your your rhythm is staying, you know, staying rhythmic. It's almost like hearing um uh hear your you can just feel your inner orchestra kind of pushing you forward, pushing you forward, pushing you forward as uh as you continue pushing um and you see something off in the distance you see You see the skew the sliding doors But as you see it you hear Typhus' voice behind you uh Virgil Typhus Virgil, hey, uh what are you doing out here? Typhus, what are you doing here? You turn around, you just see the blackness. Typhus, where are you?
SPEAKER_12I can't see anything.
SPEAKER_03I'm right here, dude.
SPEAKER_12Oh how did you get here? It's it's been it's been f it's been so long.
SPEAKER_03It's you've been here the whole time, man. We're all connected. What do you mean, Typhus? We're all connected.
SPEAKER_14We just have one more thing we have to do.
SPEAKER_03And we'll all be one as you get pulled uh and on top of you, uh Michael Virgil uh falls back out of the fridge as the door closes.
SPEAKER_02On top of me? Mm-hmm. Ouch. He's big.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, I just I and I'm also like I look like an orc right now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What the fuck was that? Okay, so that wasn't the answer, clearly.
SPEAKER_03McClavin Sylvia. After this meeting, what is it you guys do?
SPEAKER_07Bitch about the meeting.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, how much time do we have until the next very important meeting?
SPEAKER_01I am so if I hear one more person say Q3, I swear to God, I am gonna stick a bullet so far up my nose that it hits my brain and I don't know, maybe hurts something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Uh you guys have probably uh you guys have another hour. Um that one lasted a little bit. That was a nice uh that was a it was a it was a light two-hour meeting. Um you guys you guys have an hour until his lunch meeting.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_03That was a light meeting. Serious.
SPEAKER_00Well, uh maybe it's worth checking out with these other assistants, seeing what they know.
SPEAKER_13We could do that. Um, I just think well, I they kept uh I feel like we've been told to get information out of Bill, and you know, Bill uh Bill seems like a dangerous place to get information from.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. We tried to tell everyone that Bill was scary as fuck, but then no one seemed to believe us. Well, we're not maybe he needs um preparation for his lunch meeting.
SPEAKER_13Like lubricant? Sorry.
SPEAKER_01Of sorts of sorts, yeah. Do you know uh do we know where Bill is in the building at this point?
SPEAKER_03Uh he's uh still in his office. You guys just stepped out of his office.
SPEAKER_01Cool. I'm gonna start heading that way.
SPEAKER_03Nice. Um, you head in as uh you guys see. Um you head back inside as Bill is uh sitting at his desk. It looks like he's already um he's already got his breakfast or his lunch here. Um he said that he was gonna eat before the big lunch meeting because if you're having a lunch meeting, the you're not really there to eat, you're there to meet. Um as uh he's having a whole grilled fish right there on the plate in front of him as he uh as he goes down there as he sticks his fork into it and just bites like the lower jaw of uh of this this big old fish. It's like the size of a tuna.
SPEAKER_01Omega B! Omega three, three, three.
SPEAKER_14Crunch, crunch.
SPEAKER_13Dylan, do you need anything to wash that down with, buddy?
SPEAKER_04Coffee boy hasn't come back yet.
SPEAKER_01I'm actually upset about this.
SPEAKER_04I Well, he came back earlier, but I need my lunch coffee.
SPEAKER_01Jesus. I I lean out of the door.
SPEAKER_04He's almost to have his strike too.
SPEAKER_01And we won't let that happen. I lean out of the door and I yell, Coffee Boy!
SPEAKER_03He's you hear him uh just down the hallway as he screams, making sure the coffee is scalding hot.
SPEAKER_01Um worry, boss, he is right on his way.
SPEAKER_04What are your thoughts on uh Q3, Sylvia?
SPEAKER_01Boss is gonna be honest. Really glad that you asked. You know, the one thing that I just kept thinking throughout that meeting was we're gonna make it, but just barely, which has me wondering how can we better prevent this in the future.
SPEAKER_04Agreed. Yes and Mick, what are your thoughts? How do you think we can better uh improve and make sure this doesn't happen in the future?
SPEAKER_13Uh synergy. Synergy. Really make sure all the parts are working together towards one goal.
SPEAKER_04One goal. I like where your head is. Synergy.
SPEAKER_07A unified goal.
SPEAKER_04Synchronized single goal.
SPEAKER_00Boss, do you mind if I ask you a question in regards to uh your philosophy here?
SPEAKER_04Uh fire away.
SPEAKER_01Well, I guess I'm just curious as to your previous experience as someone who aspires to the heights that that you have ascended to. What got you interested in this kind of work? You asked Mick earlier. I just we I'm afraid we didn't ask you. What made you realize that synergy is oh so important?
SPEAKER_13Is there a way I can touch him with guidance too before uh before he answers? Um you want to try to touch him?
SPEAKER_03Ah if I'm if I'm close enough. You guys are on the opposite side of the desk, and the desk is like a good it's like a five-foot-tall desk. It is a big desk. Big, big, big desk. Big desk, big desk, big boss, big desk, man. Big boss, big desk. Big shoulders. Big sh big shoulders. Yeah. Um do you you want to try to give him guidance?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I'm I'm really curious what's like what's under the crack.
SPEAKER_03Roll me roll me a religion roll me a wisdom save. Is that a sorry that's a d20 with your uh plus your wisdom and it should be your proficiency as well.
SPEAKER_13Wisdom plus four. Yep. Oh, insight wisdom plus four. Okay, so I just need to roll a roll a d20 and then um add four. Correct.
SPEAKER_0318.
SPEAKER_1318 is four is 22.
SPEAKER_03As you go uh to uh go around and um place gent a gentle hand upon his broad, broad shoulder. Yeah, gentle hand upon his broad shoulders. Um he you can it was an 18 you rolled. Well, I rolled the 18 and then got a plus four. Oh plus four, okay, so it was a twenty-two. Yeah nice. Uh as you uh touch his shoulder, um uh you see hell. Oh uh Sylvia, you see as he touches his shoulder, you see uh McClavin kind of like almost seize up for a second as he's as he's kind of looking up. Where I come from Law is the greatest the most important thing in the realm Heels Laws and if they're broken I get a soul so coming here getting this opportunity to perhaps increase my domain It is a beautiful, beautiful thing You know devils and as he stands up, uh McLavin, you uh he still likes seizing there his hand were where uh uh the shoulder used to be um just kind of seizing there.
SPEAKER_04You know devils they are very untrustworthy creatures. We don't like working together. But a lot of my kind don't understand that's how things get done.
SPEAKER_03Um and uh you McClavin, you you pop out of this uh as you feel like you descended through hell uh uh mentally and you come back into your mind and you saw um from what you could pull from it, you you saw uh Bill Bond's past. Um as the literal devil. And you saw a literal devil, yes. A literal devil. Um and you saw uh something and you learned something that no devil ever wants a mortal to learn as you come to Sylvia and McLavin, you guys see as Bill Bond is standing there staring down at you? You are mine. Uh as he does, uh McClavin, you see as he points a finger at you, as this uh little orb comes out of his finger, touches you in the chest. What do you want to do? Or roll me a quick wisdom save.
SPEAKER_13Oh god. Uh yeah. So this is rolling a d20 and add before. Yeah, yeah. What do I want to do? Wanna run away?
SPEAKER_03Or roll me a charisma save, actually. Oh, charisma save.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03That's a D still d20 and it's plus six. Okay.
SPEAKER_13Oh, I got a five five and my six will boost it up to eleven.
SPEAKER_03You see as um as he reaches out to you, you can feel this orb touch you. You can say one sentence before he takes control of you. What do you say to Sylvia? What is it that you learned?
SPEAKER_13Sorry, you're not telling me I'm telling you what I learned Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Tell Sylvia yeah, what did you learn?
SPEAKER_13Um God, this is a good pension. Um, the devil doesn't want me to know.
SPEAKER_03Um I can give I can give you one thing and then you can improvise it from there.
SPEAKER_13Okay, yeah, I could use the thing.
SPEAKER_03Name. Name. His n his name? True name.
SPEAKER_13What's his true name? I know the dough I know this, I know Bill Bond's true name. So I think it would be important that the only thing I have to say before this orb gets me is his name. I should say it out loud. Uh and his name is uh his true name. Guys, I I wasn't very good at the naming convention when we started this.
SPEAKER_03Don't worry, dude. I I have three Charles and one of them's Charles C, so whatever you want. I'll say whatever you want. Say whatever you want, dude.
SPEAKER_07Yep, just embrace it.
SPEAKER_11Uh uh.
SPEAKER_03Suspense is killing me.
SPEAKER_13Oh yeah. So sorry guys. My head has gone completely blank. Uh clearly I've just been fried and sent through hell.
SPEAKER_03You've been yeah, you've been fried, sent through hell. You can see this orb coming to you slow motion.
SPEAKER_13His real name is Chester or Bumblebottom.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_13Which I think we can all understand why he doesn't want us to know. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07Yep.
SPEAKER_03So uh you say the devil's true name, Chester R. Bumblebottom, and as you do, uh right before the orb hits your chest, um, Sylvia, you see as uh McClavin flies, like his head flies back for a second. As uh as Bill Bond uh starts no uh he looks like he kind of falls to his knees uh and uh uh like kind of begins to like the the room begins to burn. The whole room begins to burn as he seems to uh uh be in immense pain right now. Um Chester as uh McClavin looks at you, Sylvia. And he says, he says, I think Q4 will have a thirty percent increase in production. And that's Roland. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_12McClavin's been assimilated, he's right.
SPEAKER_13We know he's been assimilated because he's doing proper math. He's still here.
SPEAKER_12McClavin would never do proper math.
SPEAKER_03Aw man, unfortunate, unfortunate. Alright, well, thank you everyone for uh coming to uh the final clay, what yeah, how can we what can we what are you working on?
SPEAKER_12What's like what's something? What are you doing? You're an artist. Like, tell us about it.
SPEAKER_13Well, um, I mean, I'm uh I I just finished doing some uh team film camps through the Batteries Public Library. Um that's what I'm doing, and so I'm editing those, and uh they're gonna be shown at the Goodwood Public Library on July 21nd. You know, I should have it together. How about July 30th? July 30th. Um, and then um I I'm a puppet, I'm a puppet guy, so uh please always always watch, you know. You can go watch Ziggy's Arts Adventure on YouTube, which is uh uh arts education series we did with LPB. Um uh and that's on YouTube, just search Ziggy's Arts Adventure.
SPEAKER_03Nice, awesome. Well, yeah, yeah, awesome. Hell yeah. I think we could probably uh maybe get that uh put into the description of this uh this live stream here, the link to your Ziggy's Art Adventure. Um awful fun. So great to have you, man. That was that was a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_07We died on our side quest.
SPEAKER_13No, I mean you're still there. I'm I'm sorry, I died on our side quest.
SPEAKER_08You're somewhere in there.
SPEAKER_03Deep in there, somewhere in there, deep, maybe. I don't know, maybe it wasn't it wasn't a regular assimilation, so who knows? Um yeah, looks like uh yeah, looks like Tim's uh Tim's getting your uh Ziggy's art fist in the description here. So yeah, yeah, cool, awesome. Uh yeah, so we will uh I think if no one's got anything else, I think we'll sign off there. Um but yeah, yeah. Thank you guys, everyone, for coming and watching and everyone listening on Spotify or whatever else that you're using to listen to podcasts. We appreciate you guys.