The Final Rule(s)
Completely Improvised DnD campaigns! Prepare nothing for anything.
The Final Rule(s)
The Final Rule: Order | A Deep Breath (S3E9)
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After a five-year hiatus a cast reunites as The Final Rule returns! Bigger, better, and improvier than ever - The Final Rules manifests now as two simultaneously occurring and, as always, completely improvised campaigns.
Bill Bond is the most powerful devil in the Mainframe, and Ssssssylvia (played by Sophia Brazda) just spoke his true name.
While Virgil (Chase Bernard) and Michael (Vincent Biance) pull off a relatively successful - not to mention incredibly well planned - infiltration, Ssssssylvia finds herself in over her head. It's been a rough few days, to say the least.
The Mainframe seems insurmountable, and peace is hard to come by. At the end of the day, would anyone even notice such a fleeting thing?
Thank you to our Very Special Guest Al Cravins (Binkum,) Louisiana improviser and member of local troupe Just in the Femur!
The Final Rule(s) is a livestream and edited podcast produced by Arcadian Renaissance Theatre Creatives (ART-C,) a nonprofit organization from Livingston Parish, LA. Please visit us at https://www.art-c.org to learn more, and please consider donating to help us realize our goal of fair pay for our artists and collaborators.
We are ART-C.
Long ago, in a distant land, far beyond the reaches of common sense, a band of merry adventurers are stuck between order and chaos. So hang on to your data slab. And welcome to the final rules.
SPEAKER_10If you don't know who we are, blah blah blah blah blah what I said while you couldn't hear me. Uh hello, my name is Justin Havely. Um and now my favorite cheese is uh Swiss.
SPEAKER_11Whoa. I mean that's a good that's a good season.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's solid.
SPEAKER_11Very mild cheese, you know, for you know it I I mean what what would a uh uh uh ham and cheese be without it? Swiss ham and Swiss, that's great.
SPEAKER_10Oh class. Yeah, I had like a uh bacon Swiss burger yesterday.
SPEAKER_11Mushroom Swiss burger, also really good.
SPEAKER_03Someone has a lot to say.
SPEAKER_11Simple. Hi, I'm Vincent Bianca. Uh I'm I play Michael. My favorite cheese. There's a buffalo. I like spicy cheese. There's a buffalo cheddar cheese I can get at like the local uh uh Kroger spinoff that is delicious and it's spicy, and it's exactly what I need in a cheese. As far as we're just a little bit too spicy, it's my favorite.
SPEAKER_13Wowza.
SPEAKER_02I think it's interesting that you go to cheese as your flavor enhancer.
SPEAKER_11Oh, absolutely. I mean, I I do a lot. I do like a little Chipotle mayonnaise also, but the cheese is is and I need flavor in my cheese. You know, sometimes you use the cheese to help cut back on stuff or to help pull back. No, I need it also to be bold and be full of something flavorful.
SPEAKER_03Sounds and on that note, I'm Sophia Brass. My favorite cheese is at Whole Foods, they sell it's called the Irish Salted Cheddar.
SPEAKER_04Because I believe a cheese should say a lot while being a grounding presence to the meal or to the charcuterie or whatever. So I like a dry cheese that's very like all elbows and knees.
SPEAKER_02I really like a rind heavy kind of cheese.
SPEAKER_11Writing this down. What was I called again? I want to go try this actually.
SPEAKER_02Irish, I'm I'm not joking. I'm Googling it to make sure I'm calling it the right thing. I think it's called Irish salted cheddar.
SPEAKER_04It's a white packet and it's got a picture of the C on it.
SPEAKER_13Wow. Wow's. Really good. A real cheese connoisseur here.
SPEAKER_10Write that down in my cheesemonger.
SPEAKER_13I'm cheese. I'm so particular about cheese. I'm just crackers about cheese.
SPEAKER_11No, so you weren't like telling me off about my opinion. You had you actually came from a background with cheese knowledge and roasting me for how I'm I have the wrong thing. Oh, I didn't I never assume jerk.
SPEAKER_13Okay, anyways. Hello, I'm Chase Bernard, and I am playing Virgil. Uh my favorite cheese is Gouda because it's good. Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Alright, thank you guys. It's been a good time. It's been great.
SPEAKER_12Who invited this guy? Who invited this guy? But wait, there's one more person. Oh my goodness. Whoa. Almost like a very special guest.
SPEAKER_05Hi.
unknownI'm Al.
SPEAKER_05Um, my favorite cheese is I like a sharp cheddar.
SPEAKER_13Ooh. Also really good. Bold.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, bold. A bold flavor for a cheese.
SPEAKER_05I do love a bold flavor in cheese. Um, I'm here today because I do improv with chase. We're in a group called Justin the Femur.
SPEAKER_13Oh my goodness, Justin the Femur? Yeah. It's my Femur.
SPEAKER_05What is that?
SPEAKER_13So Justin the Femur. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_05We do shows in uh downtown Baton Rouge every second Friday of the month. Wow.
SPEAKER_13You heard it here, folks. And if you're more curious about Justin the Femur, we got a handy dandy QR code for the Instagram for Justin the Femur that's hanging around this stream. Feel free to take a look at it. Somewhere. Yeah, whatever. It shows up right here every now and then. And for our podcast listeners. There you go.
SPEAKER_05But down also.
SPEAKER_13A little down there. For our podcast listeners, just go to at JustinTheFemer and you'll find it. It's a great improv troop. Not tootin' our own horn because I'm also in it, but I really enjoy it. It's a fantastic improv troupe. It's the best improv troop.
SPEAKER_02It's my busy troop in Louisiana.
SPEAKER_13We're all about tootin'. Sure.
SPEAKER_05Y'all are missing out. You heard it here first votes.
SPEAKER_10Alright. So uh we'll get into a quick little recap of last week or last month's, I keep forgetting, not week's, last month's session. Um this past month has gone by. It's probably because you guys are about to die. And so, you know.
SPEAKER_11Oh, yeah, no, that might make things go by pretty quick.
SPEAKER_09Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_10Last session, uh, you guys had met up with a uh group of rebels that have no long that are not a part of the what you guys have learned is the mainframe have not been assimilated into the mainframe. They're hiding underground in these, like they almost look like um almost like sewer pipes, but like extremely clean. Um and I mean there's no no sewage inside of them. I mean, that's kind of why it's clean. Uh almost feels more like you're you're walking down wires. Um you guys get and you meet three of the leaders. Uh, you meet well, actually before that you meet McClavin, which is an Elvin Cleric that also just kind of shot pulled into this uh this world. You guys all as a group meet up with uh Charles the Dwarf, Sophie the Dragonborn, and Sir Chopsky the Halfling. Um, and they're the leaders of this uh little rebellion. They ask you guys to try to infiltrate the city hall and see if there's a way to basically uh cut the whatever's happening off from um the real world. Basically, it's they're like, hey, we don't think there's actually a way to escape. Um, so we're kind of just wanting to go take this ship down with us. Uh you guys have a whole three-day holiday thanks to Blorf today. Uh, you give a three-day holiday of prepping and planning, uh, because you guys did so much prepping and planning. Everything went according to plan last session. Um, absolutely. Very proud of that. Thank you. We're planning this heist. Uh you guys had also been given a few magic items. Uh, Sylvia was given a broom of flying. Michael was given the breach of shielding. Um, I've renamed that uh Michael to uh the baseball cap of shielding. We'll uh uh I'll ask you what the team is on that hat shortly. Uh and then Virgil got the deck of illusions. Uh they also gave you a bracelet that uh kind of helps cloak you guys a little bit from the uh the mainframes like vision. Uh you guys went and began this heist. Uh Virgil and Michael were going in as janitors, why Sylvia and McClavin were going in uh as assistants to Bill Bond. Uh Michael and Virgil have a little bit of hijinks is breaking into these rooms, getting extra keys, and they find a special key uh that Michael attunes to, and it leads him to the freezer of uh walk-in freezer of the kitchen. Virgil and Michael walk in and have walk into two separate visions. Um Virgil's seeing nothing and only hearing marching while Michael's in a lush forest. You guys both hear your friends, typhus and uh uh Arn why am I Arnold, right? Yeah. I keep thinking Arnold. It's Arnold. It's Arnold, yeah. And Arnold's voices uh independently you guys hear them and you hear them calling for you as you hear them distort and twist, uh asking you to uh come to them, and uh Typhus saying, We are one. Um while uh you guys are able to escape these visions, uh Virgil feeling his uh internal rhythm, uh, which your Virgil, just so you know, your key points in your on your character sheet are renamed to intrinsic rhythm. So if you're looking at your character sheet, that's what that's uh that's what that's under. Um while that's all happening, Sylvia and McClavin, you're doing some um well Sylvia's making the sure the coffee boy is getting piping hot coffee uh and tells him that if it's not second if you don't get a second degree burn from putting your finger in it, it's not hot enough for Mr. Bond.
SPEAKER_03Only one way to check.
SPEAKER_10Only one way to check is he's screaming through the halls. Is Bill Bond drinks a lot of coffee, yeah, just consistently needs to be have coffee. Uh I don't blame him, truly. While you're doing that, McClavin's having a conversation with uh another one of the assistants that we learn was also a follower of Charles. Uh Charles the Mushroom, whether it's three and a half foot or three and a half inches tall, you know, you you guys don't know. I mean it's up to interpretation, truly up to interpretation, really. Charles the mushroom, uh, the world were will end if he doesn't get back, is what McClavin said. If the mushroom shrivels and dies, uh the world will end. That's that's his religion. Uh that's what his following is, and that's where he gets his power from. Uh, he has a conversation with Jeremy and is able to uh wake Jeremy up for a second, but not before he gets begins to get these uh intense pain. Uh Sylvia comes into the room and uh they they hear him talking about an orange orc um and all this money, people getting pulled uh before he is uh seems to turn get fully assimilated, acting almost robotic, uh, and not recognizing McClavin. Um the very last thing that happens, you guys go and talk to uh Sylvia and um McClavin go talk to Mr. Bond. McClavin goes up to try to um, as Sylvia's asking him um a little bit about himself, trying to uh get, you know, why does he want to um you know, why does he want so much order? Why, you know, I want I want to I want to get to know you. You've been getting to know me. But um as that happens, McClavin goes over there to touch his shoulder and try to give him guidance, but he looks like he has a uh thousand mile stare as um Bill Bond walks away from his desk. Uh McClavin is frozen there. And um as this happens, you see, after a few seconds, Bill Bond is going in on how uh you know where he's from, the uh everything is about order, uh laws and rules, uh, and that this is an opportunity for him to expand his domain. The moment that McClavin snaps back in, you see as Bill Bond also snaps. McLaven is glaring at or uh Bill Bond is glaring down at McLaven and says no you will be mine as he uh releases out of his finger an orb.
SPEAKER_03Romantic.
SPEAKER_10As McClavin, yeah, as McClavin was um uh comatose, uh he was sent through hell and saw uh Bill Bond's past and learned a secret that no devil ever wants a mortal to learn. And that secret is his true name. Before McLavin is fully taken over and uh acclimated, he speaks Bill Bond's true name. Chester R. Bimblebottom out loud for Sylvia Bumblebottom written down.
SPEAKER_04Is it Bimble?
SPEAKER_10Bumble, sorry, Bumblebottom, yes. Bumblebottom. It does, yeah, you're you're correct. It does need to be accurate. Um the room uh uh uh erupts, almost starts burning in the flame as Bill Bond uh falls to his knees, roaring out in agony.
SPEAKER_00Uh is this supposed to happen?
SPEAKER_10Well, you guys are not you guys are still in the kitchen, you two are Virgil and Mario. You guys are still in the kitchen. But before we catch up there, how give me a quick um tell me a little bit about is it Binkum?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, Binkum is the name. Um Binkum is a rock descriptor.
SPEAKER_11Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_05Um about Yehai, and Binkum is not very smart, but Bingham's very wise. Can I get some little nuggets?
SPEAKER_10Very wise. Nuggets of wisdom. What? Um does Binkum, is there any place that Binkum goes and just kind of kind of hangs out? Um, you know, you you live in a very like uh industrial world, brick and mortar um buildings everywhere. Um, you know, there's a uh there's a pop-up uh like bistro or bar that's uh you know kind of on every corner. Um everyone has their own uh their own brew microbrewery on the corners. Um what's uh what's uh yeah, what what would Bingham do for in in the free time?
SPEAKER_05Oh is that me?
SPEAKER_10Yes.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I stuttered for a second. Okay. Um yeah, I think Bingham she really likes to like get away from it all, and there's not many places to do that, so she'll like dig a hole in the ground and just kind of sit in there with a book and maybe like hang out with like her little pet gerbil.
SPEAKER_10Hell yeah, hell yeah. Uh little pet gerbil. I love that. This does gerbil have a name.
SPEAKER_05Honestly, it sounds like a dream.
SPEAKER_10Pip?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, Pip with a P with two P's.
SPEAKER_10Pip, Pip, okay. I thought you said Pit. Pit. I was like, that's a little Pip Pip Pip. Oh, that's great. All right. You and Pip are uh sitting in the park. Uh it's a beautiful park, one of the only places here in the city that have uh uh really any greenery in it. Um beautiful, well-kept bushes and trees, a beautiful pond, um, and um beautiful uh clockwork animals everywhere. Uh you are um Pip is a very special creature. Um Pip is one of the few creatures that um that that's not clockwork. Pip's a little little gerbil and it's just adorable little gerbil.
SPEAKER_13That's crazy.
SPEAKER_10I've just realized what is happening right now, and I'm so uh yeah, you you're you're sitting here in this uh this whole just kind of reading the book, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'm just reading my little book. Um you can see it's like the front of it says like existential philosophy for the advanced mind. And then I'm just kind of sitting there going like petting my little pit. Beautiful day outside. Wonderful, meet some friends today. I say this every day to myself.
SPEAKER_10That's adorable. Yeah. As you reading this book, you get to be you start to hear your ears start to kind of almost ring.
SPEAKER_08What is that?
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, this is really scary. I didn't write anything about that in this book.
SPEAKER_10The ringing turns to static. As you look to your side, Pip is right here on your shoulder, you look to your left as you feel this pull, this static almost like it's all around you, and as you hear it center itself to your left. And as you look over, you see as the dirt to your left begins to almost turn to static, and almost uh you rub your eyes for a second and be like, What am I seeing here? And uh thinking that your vision's blurry or your vision's just uh uh scratchy. But no, no, your your eyes are clear. This dirt next to you looks to be shifting and shimmering. As you see the pit begin to get pulled towards it.
SPEAKER_05Oh no, I definitely make a grab for pit.
SPEAKER_10Roll me a quick uh acrobatic check. Or sleight of hand, either one.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_13First roll of the session. Ah do we need to pull a suggestion also? I just realized we need to pull the side.
SPEAKER_10Yes, we do need to pull a suggestion. I was thinking that just a second ago.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I got a three.
SPEAKER_10You got a three. Oh no. As you see this, you watch as Pip begins to slip and gets pulled towards this. You go and reach for him, you grab Pip's uh back hips as your hands go Pip and your hands get pulled into the dirt. As you're holding on to Pip, you feel this pull. You can it doesn't you're not hitting something solid. You're feeling this static, almost like uh this sizzling on your arms as you get pulled and pulled and pulled, and then you get pulled in. All that's left in the hole is the book.
SPEAKER_05Dun dun dun.
SPEAKER_13Dun dun dun.
SPEAKER_03I guess there was one thing you can't do.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god.
SPEAKER_10Let's get that suggestion real quick. Uh could you pull that suggestion for me real quick?
SPEAKER_13I absolutely can. We're gonna we're gonna go over to the old thingamabob here, pull an old suggestion, and it's thinking. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_10Oh, it's thinking.
SPEAKER_13Oh, it's thinking.
SPEAKER_10Where'd you put it?
SPEAKER_13There we go.
SPEAKER_10Is faux dollar bill.
SPEAKER_14By wild players.
SPEAKER_10Arnold Gloves McAfee. Is that McAfee or McCaffee? McAfee. McAfee. Okay, there we go. That's a pronunciation. McAfee. Alright. So $4 bill. No, no, no, not two $2 bills to make $4 bill. A single $4 bill. $4 bills. Yeah. Single $4 bill. Cool. Alright. You uh Sylvia. Let's actually, if we could switch over to our map. Our battle map here on uh battle maps. Looks like we're fighting.
SPEAKER_04That's the scale we battle maps.
SPEAKER_11A friendship map.
SPEAKER_13We don't have to fight. We can roleplay out of this, guys. Don't worry. You uh that's the Oh wait, hold on. Our audio didn't transfer over. Our audio isn't playing. Oh no, audio's not.
SPEAKER_11Audio. All these hilarious jokes didn't oh my god. Now we all gotta say it again.
SPEAKER_13Now we all gotta say those jokes again.
SPEAKER_11Okay, let's everyone say our jokes.
SPEAKER_15So cute. I always forget.
SPEAKER_13So battle map.
SPEAKER_04I need a joke.
SPEAKER_13Battle map. Sylvia, say a joke.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Um, what do you call when you're about to be murdered and fire thrown at your face?
SPEAKER_13Uh fired? I don't know what.
SPEAKER_10I call you hot stuff. Fired. That's perfect, because we're in an office building.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And that was the joke the whole time. Thank you.
SPEAKER_10You see as uh the Bill Bond here is uh on his knees screaming out in agony as McClavin had said his true name. You feel as the temperature in the room begins to rise and rise and rise until it's almost unbearable. What do you want to do?
SPEAKER_04Um my god, um, so much at once. Um immediately I am going to uh oh my gosh, this is so crazy. Okay, so McClavin has been has he's he's robot time, right?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, McClavin is looking at you, and the last thing he said, and he's still making eye contact with you. Q4, I predict, will have a 30% increase.
SPEAKER_16Oh, he's gone.
SPEAKER_11He's gone.
SPEAKER_16McClavin?
SPEAKER_11On what basis?
SPEAKER_16McLaven.
SPEAKER_11On what basis? How do you know there's me an increase?
SPEAKER_04This is Um, I'm gonna so so Bill is currently like screaming.
SPEAKER_10Bill is currently yelling and screaming right now.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna I'm gonna quickly go over to McLaven and kind of try to take him and go, go, and what about Q1? What about the next Q1? McLaven! McLaven!
SPEAKER_10And then uh is 30% increase. Oh, every quarter. No, every quarter. Uh I'm gonna start going as you see a tear start to fall from the corner of his eye. Quarter!
SPEAKER_04Oh god, he's he's performing lobotomized so well. Um, I'm gonna I'm gonna look over towards Bill and just panically, I think she just starts going, yeah. Um Do I know the name? Does Sylvia know the name? In Sylvia's like perspective?
SPEAKER_10Sylvie, yes, Sylvia heard the name.
SPEAKER_04Okay, like verbally. Okay.
SPEAKER_10Yes.
SPEAKER_04Um I I think Sylvia will look over and in a panic, I think she just starts going, um, uh Chester ah bumble bottom, chester ah, bumble bottom, like she comes up with a little a little song and dance.
SPEAKER_11Um let me Oh no, oh no.
SPEAKER_01A song and dance. Oh, is Bill Bond gonna be defeated by a song and dance? By a dance number? I think she's maybe unintentionally, too.
SPEAKER_02When she starts panicking, I think she goes into Fossey.
SPEAKER_13I I can see it. It's happened one other time, I think. Just uh seems like a social anxiety kind of thing.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, she's she's it's trust me, it's not because she's secure at anything.
SPEAKER_10Um, let's let me see. Oh no. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Oh, did I am I'm in trouble?
SPEAKER_10Demoted. The DC was 18 for him. He rolled, he got a 16. So he is still over there writhing in pain as you feel the room gets hotter, um, and uh you just can feel the power emanating uh from Chester. Uh and as this happens, uh you see like the the room is like now shimmering in just I guess snakes don't sweat. Uh I guess you salivate.
SPEAKER_04Don't they sweat milk or something?
SPEAKER_10What do they? Wait, hold on. I don't hold on.
SPEAKER_04That is a snake. I'm looking it up right now.
SPEAKER_13Is it snakes sweating milk? I feel like that's that that can't be right.
SPEAKER_11I don't think they sweat because they're cold blooded. So they no, they don't.
SPEAKER_10They don't blooded.
SPEAKER_11They're cold blooded, so they they don't they don't sweat, they don't panic, they bask. They don't bask. Um they they lack uh uh yeah internal heat homeostasis in that regard.
SPEAKER_10Um you um I mean you're starting to get extremely hot. Uh and you as this happens, um you start chanting Chester R. Bimblebott Bumblebottom's name um in song form. Sing sorry, sorry, singing, not chanting. We're not a cult here. Not a cult. Sylvia's not a cult. It's not a part of a cult.
SPEAKER_09No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. Anyone could do it.
SPEAKER_13Or ostracize people.
SPEAKER_10As uh this all happens. Roll me a perception check. And actually, um, I want uh both Virgil and Michael to also roll me a quick uh perception check. I love to perceive something.
SPEAKER_13You got it, Chief. Perceiving is one of my favorite things.
SPEAKER_04Um whoa.
SPEAKER_13Wait, how do I yo did I think that seven units?
SPEAKER_11I perceived seven. Seven units of perception.
SPEAKER_13Oh whoops. Uh go with that first one. I didn't realize I rolled there twice. 19 for Virgie.
SPEAKER_02That is a I believe it's it's just the perception modifier, right?
SPEAKER_10Correct. Yep.
SPEAKER_02That's a 15 for me.
SPEAKER_10Solid. Okay. Um Virgil and Sylvia. You guys can sense a presence. Oh you can sense You have a feeling that eyes are on are looking near you, but you don't feel the eyes on you.
SPEAKER_13Michael, something doesn't feel right.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, man, that freezer was crazy.
SPEAKER_13No, no, no, no, no. No, like that's not Well, I mean, yes, that was also a can of worms, but I I feel like there's also a separate can of worms. Like, eyes are looking at us.
SPEAKER_11That's not good.
SPEAKER_13Maybe I hit my head a little too hard or something coming out of that freezer. Gosh.
SPEAKER_04I mean it's going chesta uh, bumblebottom and friend, chesta uh, bumblebottom and co.
SPEAKER_13Do you hear singing somewhere?
SPEAKER_15Chesta! Chesta bum bum bottom.
SPEAKER_11There has to be something going. Okay. No, let's go toward the singing. I just want to make it clear.
SPEAKER_10Um, that means we gotta singing his name. Um as full shitty. I I'm I'm just trying to figure out what happens when you just you're just sing a devil's true name. I'm just trying to figure out. Honestly, I should have considered it with Sylvia, but I didn't. I didn't improvise D D.
SPEAKER_04Look, she she knows like you know, grassroots theater. She sees something in Kur response.
SPEAKER_03I think as a performer, she takes that and goes, more of that.
SPEAKER_12Clearly, this is an invoking response.
SPEAKER_10You see, as Bill Bond begins to start like moving his shoulders in the rhythm of how you're singing.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_10I think I think you can also go ahead.
SPEAKER_03No, I think she gets a little excited and starts punctuating it even more.
SPEAKER_01Like he starts moving his shoulders.
SPEAKER_10And you as he as he's like shimming, um, he starts shimming and like is taking steps towards you. You see pure malice in his eyes.
SPEAKER_14Uh oh. Oh man.
SPEAKER_04Eisner. Stay away. Chester Ha Bumblebottom. Stay away. Jester Ha Bumblebottom.
SPEAKER_10You see as he flies back towards the glass. Let me roll a quick. Oh my god. Uh, he breaks through, he jumps through the glass out the window. You can see as he starts to try to out of uh behind him, you see he starts to try to unfurl his wings, um, but he just plummets straight down to the ground. Uh and as this happens, you begin to hear this static coming in. Um as you hear this static focus over above this couch, and you see a gnome just fall from the ceiling onto this uh pleather couch. Binkum?
SPEAKER_05I fall on the couch and go ahead. I was gonna say I fall on the couch and uh Pip just falls like on my head.
SPEAKER_10Well Pip actually isn't here. Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_15I think Sylvia looks at this new presence and just goes, Chester.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Give me a big hug. Oh, I'm fighting Satan right now. What? But I think I have time, and I just sort of give her a quick. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_16You're so kind. Oh my god. Thank you.
SPEAKER_10You got you take a quick little second and um for the hug, but um, as you do this, you kind of finish the hug. Um and uh Sylvia, aren't you like seven foot tall?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_10Six, seven foot tall.
SPEAKER_04I am, I believe seven foot.
SPEAKER_10Bingham is yeah, Bingham's like hugging your leg. Or you or you know, you you'd have to like really you really squat down to give uh Bingham this hug.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh like there, little gnome.
SPEAKER_05This is kind of scary.
SPEAKER_06It is, isn't it?
SPEAKER_10Out of the window, you hear yelling um and growling. Um, what are you wanting to do, Sylvia?
SPEAKER_04Okay, I'm thinking he fell on the ground a long ways, right? How many floors up are we?
SPEAKER_10Two.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, it's not Liam Payne, but it'll do. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna take out. I'm gonna hop on that broom.
SPEAKER_10Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04And then I'm gonna and I'm is it Bingham? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You wanna pop on your shoulder? Absolutely. This is the best day of my life.
SPEAKER_04Uh I'm in like behind me, but um yeah, sure. I guess I guess you're behind your altars.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04So eating my feet. I am gonna hop on that broom and I am gonna pursue uh Bill Bond.
SPEAKER_10Okay, go outside. Uh, you fly out the window. He is just on the ground. Um I'm gonna need you to to uh well actually I'm gonna need everyone to roll me hold on a second. Uh everyone to roll me initiative. Oh boy. That's uh Keensa. Uh Al, are you are you versed in Dungeons and Dragons?
SPEAKER_05Yes, but I haven't done any fighting in a long time.
SPEAKER_10Okay. But I think I'm okay. We we I I sh I guess I should have I was a little busy, you know, baby duty and stuff. Uh we do have kind of more custom rules. There is at we have four action points, and action is two points, bonus action, reaction, and movement are one point. So you can get like four coins or something like that to kind of mark your stuff. Um and uh we can kind of uh uh why didn't it add you guys to the turn order? Gosh darn it. Um usually when you guys roll initiative, it adds you guys to my turn order. Um but you guys all, let's see. Uh anyone roll above a 20. Negatory.
SPEAKER_11Dude, who's rolling that? Way of dice and cheaters. Let me tell you.
SPEAKER_10Well, Bill Bond just rolled a natural 20. Okay, well, Chester can go second hand.
SPEAKER_15All right. I'm at Jack.
SPEAKER_13I demand to recount. Yeah. 15 to 20.
SPEAKER_11Anyone 15 to 20? I'm I'm 15. Yeah, Michael's 15. I'm 15. Confirmed. You heard of your first. Oh, you guys are uh on the same turn. Actually, no, I'm four, I'm 14, so I'm I should be one behind.
SPEAKER_13Just right beneath us. Oh, so we're on the same turn, being gum.
SPEAKER_10Woo-hoo, and Sylvia with the moment. I don't even know you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_10Do what?
SPEAKER_0213. Sorry, I think I froze.
SPEAKER_1013, okay. Wow. 13, 14, 15.
SPEAKER_02Check us out.
SPEAKER_10Beautiful, beautiful. Alright. So first thing that's gonna happen is uh Bill Bond. Um he does not answer to Chester. Uh, especially not Mr. Bimblebottom, Bumblebottom. Uh he is first thing he's going to do is he is going to reach up and shoot a ray of fire up at you, Sylvia. Uh let's see if he hits. Uh that oh, I forgot your armor class is very low. That is a 12 to hit against your armor class. He is going to uh looking up and uh yelling out, that's three strikes um as he shoots this uh ray of fire up at you. Um that will be 3d6. Uh-oh. 12 total points of damage to you. Um you take 12 points of damage. Uh you take uh this fireball as it uh or this uh ray of fire uh up as it strikes uh your left leg. Uh the uh the broom of flying wobbles for a second um before uh you're able to correct it. Uh he shoots a second one as it uh goes right past your head. Uh you and Binkham's heads uh just you guys could feel the heat just emanating off of this one. Um as he is going to start to try to catch air and start flying. Um Michael and Virgil. I'm actually gonna just tie you two together. You guys are in the same room, you guys are going back and uh forth to each other. You two notice you also hear a static. And as you hear the static, um you see falling onto one of these tables a gerbil. What the as it starts just running circles everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_10That's not food safe. That's not food safe.
SPEAKER_11That's not we can't we can't have that here. No, Inspector shows up shutting the place down. We can't have that. That's not who's whose gerbil is this? And I obviously they're all they're not they're all they're all mainframes.
SPEAKER_10They don't care about you actually uh you look at all the other people, um you see as um they're all like holding pots and pans and just kind of watching this thing. They look like they're starting to like pick them up.
SPEAKER_11As in they're going to start to smash the gerbil. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. I've laid rat traps before in a kitchen, and I the you you don't you don't try to catch survivors.
SPEAKER_13That's not Michael, Michael, please. I I I I think I I think I can handle this. I'm gonna use I'm gonna use speech of beast and leaf to try to calm down because I can talk to beasts, I would assume Pip counts as a beast of sorts.
SPEAKER_10Um basically uh Yes for sure.
SPEAKER_13I can communicate to them, but they can't I can't understand what they're saying, but at the very least I'll be able to understand.
SPEAKER_10What do you say, what do you say to uh the gerbil?
SPEAKER_13I'm gonna I'm gonna go, hey, hey, calm down. It's okay. Uh I I don't know where you came from, but um, I'm uh just just calm down, little guy. It's gonna be okay. Just try to say soothing.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, roll me a animal handling with advantage.
SPEAKER_13Hey, let's go. Oh gotcha. Okay, 15.
SPEAKER_1015 solid. Uh you see, as it's kind of running around, you see a couple people try to grab uh the gerbil. Very like uh very robotic reach to grab the gerbil. Uh and as they do, uh slips out of their hands and it kind of turns. Uh it notices you and jumps towards you. Uh jumping into your clothes.
SPEAKER_00Oh, hey, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, hey, hey, hey, calm down.
SPEAKER_11Okay, now you have to wash your hands before you touch any other food. Like that's put some gloves on.
SPEAKER_13All right, look, okay, stop, stop, hamster, stop. Gerbil, whatever.
SPEAKER_11Michael, what are you doing? I'm just fascinated now. I guess we have a pet gerbil and a pet cat. Like that's that's gonna be Oh my god. I mean, I'm sure they'll be friends. I'm sure that'll be fine. Oh, I'm sure they'll be great. Sweet potatoes right there. I don't know, sweet potatoes. Sweet potato doesn't seem like a hunter. I don't know. We'll find out.
SPEAKER_10Uh sweet potatoes just kind of sitting there next to your uh just chilling. Just chilling. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Absolutely. I mean, hell yeah. Just seemed like a gerbil fly out of the sky. I wasn't concerned about it. I want to know why something's looking at us still. That's okay. We have a gerbil now. What was looking at us? They saw us. Where's we heard singing?
SPEAKER_13I wish I knew. We need to get out of here and maybe find Sylvia. I think I think things are taking a turn for the worse.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I'm leaving the kitchen. I walk out, I say, coming out, corner, and I like.
SPEAKER_10Which uh yeah, you you do know that this door up here to the north leads towards that back door that you guys entered through. Um, or you guys can go through this uh southern door to here that leads out to the lobby and the elevators and everything like that.
SPEAKER_13I I forgot that we're still disguised, so I still look like an orc, I think. Yeah, you guys are still in janitor garbs. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_11I guess we can go out. I mean, no one's clocked us except I mean, yeah, like I knocked the guy out. Nobody knows they're not supposed to be there, so I guess we can go out the way through the lobby. Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, yeah. Let's do that.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. So I'll say you guys take uh your uh movement to get out towards uh you guys are able to make it to the elevator um uh the the elevator halls. This door here is actually open. You guys are just casually walking uh as we go back to fire just erupting from beneath you guys as you guys are uh on this broom trying to dodge um Bill Bond, who is starting to fly towards you guys. Uh Al, it is your turn.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I'm still sitting on Sylvia's shoulder. Right? Okay, I'm gonna Yes. I'm gonna take my longbow and I'm gonna like attack.
SPEAKER_10Okay. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_10Alright, yeah, roll d20, and I believe add should be about five. I think two. Oh four. Yeah, two.
SPEAKER_05Oh that's eight to five.
SPEAKER_10Eighteen to hit, hell yeah, that hits uh roll your damage.
SPEAKER_05One.
SPEAKER_10Oh no. As you do, uh you hit it as it's uh you see your arrow goes down, strikes Bill, uh, and you see as all it really does is tear his um uh tear his suit, uh, and he looks again very even more mad than before. Um so that takes uh two action points. You can do basically another action uh as your other two action points if you want. If you want to make another attack or uh Yeah, I'll attack him again. Something else. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_11Not to be character guy, but like wouldn't it wouldn't be like a uh a dice roll plus uh a number for damage?
SPEAKER_10It would be if her decks was not 11. Heard understood. Oh my place. The only thing I am is lost. You're charismatic. I forgot to consider I'll take that. You got a hug out of a stranger. That's pretty charismatic if you ask me.
SPEAKER_05True, true. Um, does a 13 hit?
SPEAKER_10A 13 will not hit as another one goes by as uh uh Bill Bond looks to uh to uh barrel roll to the side as he's flying up towards you guys. Uh Sylvia, it is your turn. Um you are on um a pretty fast uh um broom of flying. Uh you just got hit, get got the shit knocked out of you, I would just uh um put mildly um with that um burn, that uh fire ray. What are you wanting to do on this? Uh what are you wanting to do?
SPEAKER_02Currently, about how many feet away am I from Bill?
SPEAKER_10He's probably about 15 feet away from you.
SPEAKER_0215. Okay, great. I'm gonna cast which bolt.
SPEAKER_10Okay. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Nice. It's a good choice. All right, roll me an attack.
SPEAKER_03Yes, uh. Oh.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_10Oh no. Oh no.
SPEAKER_03That's an eight with my modified.
SPEAKER_10Eight. Unfortunately, you miss, and that is uh two action points. Uh you have uh two more action points. What are you wanting to do?
SPEAKER_03And I try again.
SPEAKER_10You can try again, but he will also he goes next, and he also will get to try again for you. Um and just a reminder, I believe you're at like five hit points, seven hit points, and he just did 12 damage to you.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Meaning I only have five hit points left.
SPEAKER_10Um yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.
SPEAKER_15Okay. That's cool.
SPEAKER_10Seven. You have seven hit points left.
SPEAKER_04Cool. I'm gonna go. Well, that's all, folks, and scoot my broom in the opposite direction and fly away.
SPEAKER_10Alright, do you want to go towards the front or the back of the building?
SPEAKER_03Uh, we're currently in the back, right?
SPEAKER_10Uh, you're on the side. You're here on the uh the west side of the building. The front of the building is to your south. Uh all right, to the back of the building, towards uh the back of the building, just to give you kind of a visual. Yeah. Uh you you have a little bit of greenery here uh just below you, right next to the sidewalk that that uh hugs the building. Towards the back. The back of the building is uh kind of a more um it's I wouldn't call it an alley, but it's like employee parking back there. Um and so it's it's a little bit kind of like an uh a little bit of a larger alley, and then in the middle of that alley is uh the parking lot leads to the um another street that comes from the back. Uh towards the front is a large open space. Uh you have the really big brick sidewalk that is in front of City Hall, and in front of it is the uh the big park uh with the green pond.
SPEAKER_15Sounds lovely.
SPEAKER_10Sounds like a wonderful time.
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Okay, okay, solid. Uh, what is your um broom of speeds? It should be under your inventory. I believe. Let me click on it. Little bubble icon. Um 50 feet flying speed. Alright. So uh for two AP you basically get to go a hundred feet. Let me measure that for you. Um I think honestly, you may be able to just lose him uh just from flying.
SPEAKER_15She's she's a brave, brave girl till she really, really isn't.
SPEAKER_10To be fair, it's and you're just diving in towards the uh in towards the alley. Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I think the hope is to if we're heading kind of towards that park area to kind of keep dodging in and out.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_10Okay, gotcha. Um, yeah, as you go back here, you see there's uh several buildings and stuff like that. Several um roll me a quick uh an Al. You as well roll me just a quick um uh perception or investigation check up to you guys.
SPEAKER_05Right. Twenty one.
SPEAKER_10Oh yeah, you wise.
SPEAKER_03I'm a wiser ten.
SPEAKER_10And a ten. All right. Um you're going back here and Sylvia. Um, what is tell me what's what's your internal monologue right now?
SPEAKER_04Um, I I think Sylvia is having a bit of like a a panic attack, the likes of which she maybe has not have since that doomed audition for conservatory, you know, in college. Like I I I think she is feeling mortal terror the way she hasn't since her first Shakespeare class. I think Sylvia is um Sylvia, I think, really thought she was she was trying something, and and I think there was that bravery and that courage kind of bubbling on up, but now she's in pure mortal terror. Um so it's probably an absence of thought, honestly. Al flight, literally.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, Al, you can you can just uh you're sitting on her shoulders and you can just sense the the hyperventilating the tension of uh Sylvia. And uh as you kind of sense this, you notice actually a um it's not a uh you notice like a very small window that with uh Sylvia's uh Yanti very slender form and with your small form, you guys would be able to fit into this uh basically it's like one of those kind of basement um sized windows that are only like a foot by a foot and a half, and you see as it's open there on the ground floor.
SPEAKER_05So this is like a hiding spot scenario, or we don't know.
SPEAKER_10You do you see like I don't see that maybe uh maybe a hiding spot.
SPEAKER_05Okay. I'm just gonna like kind of gently like lean over into her ear and be like, hey buddy, are you doing all right?
SPEAKER_03Uh uh um no, it's okay.
SPEAKER_05I can tell you're a little tense, but it's fine. Everything's chill. We're friends, we're having a good day.
SPEAKER_04Oh, uh that is where you are wrong. This is not a good day as much as it is a um I I I showed up to callbacks and forgot they gave everyone sides in the email kind of a day. This is a um, oh shoot, I forgot to memorize my classic monologue for my Julia audition. That is this is where we are at.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I can tell that you're really tense, and that's all right. I get it. I'm basically having a hard day.
SPEAKER_16Oh, you're having a hard day.
SPEAKER_05Oh, it isn't having a hard day. I lost my pet gerbil this morning. A tear just rolls down my cheek. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Look, there's a window, we can hide. Now, why didn't you say that? And I started heading towards Toby.
SPEAKER_10Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05More important things.
SPEAKER_10Uh, you guys go in there. Uh roll. Let me see, actually. Can you guys roll me some stealth checks? Unfortunately, you guys are both or neither very stealthy. No.
SPEAKER_13So speaking of speaking of that, how how about we have something fun that we can, you know, I just want to bring to uh bring to the front forefront. We got a donation recently this past episode, and we now have fake coins. Same coins down there. Let it be known that if anyone so wishes to re-roll one of their roles, they can use a fake coin. Just let it be known it is at the DM's discretion or potentially the audience's discretion, just depending on, you know, I'm gonna give Justin free reign there to um give you basically a negative consequence to rolling, whether that roll becomes good or bad.
SPEAKER_02I would like to re-roll.
SPEAKER_13Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_10Already. Already. Alright, hold on, hold on, hold on. You did this when we rolled your character stats on charisma, all right? You you did this to yourself, okay? You can't you you gotta see what you roll first because you had like an 18 on charisma and you already determined that you're re-rolling it.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm re-rolling my oh, I meant myself.
SPEAKER_10No, that's what Oh, did you already roll it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Oh, I thought you didn't roll it. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03No, I literally rolled it up.
SPEAKER_04No, I literally rolled it as Chase was explaining, and then I went Oh yeah. What's that? I would like to re-roll. I thought that's what you meant. That we could re-roll like a stealth check. Is that what we're doing?
SPEAKER_10100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, yeah. No, I thought you hadn't rolled yet. No. And I'm like, hey, I thought you learned your lesson when we were rolling character stats. Yeah. Alright. So one fate coin. Can I get a a a dong of toll the bells? Dong. There we go. Alright, what's your what's your new roll?
SPEAKER_03Am I ready to roll the new one?
SPEAKER_10Yes. Uh go for it. Yep, you can re-roll it. Al, what did you roll on your stealth? I got a 15. 15, solid.
SPEAKER_03Okay. It's better than before. We're looking at a this is a 10.
SPEAKER_10It's a 10. Okay. Solid. Alright. As. You roll a quick D100. Oh boy. Ooh, that's good. As you guys uh go and dive into here, you guys uh find yourself in a uh very uh very clean uh basement to like what looks to be a commercial building. The lights are all out. Um there looks to be some shelving that has some uh some just goods and storage on them, and directly in front of you guys is a staircase that looks to be leading up, and there's just a single light that looks to be on in that staircase. Uh are you guys going in or you guys closing the the window behind you? What's your guys' plan once you get inside this window?
SPEAKER_04Um, I'm gonna close the window.
SPEAKER_10Okay.
SPEAKER_04And if I can, I think the moment that Sylvia, you know, it feels like there's actually that moment or that thought of like, okay, like we're inside, we're just not in the outside anymore.
SPEAKER_15Can I cast disguise self?
SPEAKER_10Yes, you can.
SPEAKER_15On me, please.
SPEAKER_10Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Um I'll uh I'll get back to that in a quick sec. Chase and Vincent. Um, you two, sorry, not Vince, sorry, you're not Vincent, you're Michael. Yeah, and Vincent Chase.
SPEAKER_13I look at Michael for a second and I just see Vincent's face.
SPEAKER_11I'm like, oh the human face on a lizard folk body must have been unreally unnerving.
SPEAKER_10Um just walking out the front door. Yeah. Um I don't have any urgency. We're still chilling. I'm still in disguise. Um, you guys walk out the front door. Um as um let's see. No, I think you guys let me roll it quick. You guys hear a very deep roaring coming from the west. From around the building. And you you can hear it that little bit of shuddering of the glass, of the glass uh rotating doors you guys just walked out of.
SPEAKER_13I'm gonna say we go in the opposite direction of whatever that is.
SPEAKER_11Uh yeah, I don't that sounds like trouble. I want to get it. Let's let's go the other way.
SPEAKER_13Let's just slowly go the other direction. Right.
SPEAKER_10Um roll me a real quick uh stealth check, both of you guys. You got it, Chief.
SPEAKER_11Alright, that's a plus zero. Thirteen. That is a five. Dude.
SPEAKER_13Oh, we're cooked.
SPEAKER_11He's wearing his squeaky boots from SpongeBob, this guy.
SPEAKER_15Squeaky boots.
SPEAKER_10Virgil, you can you can feel that presence that's looking near you. You can almost feel as if an eye, a single eye spots you. And for a split second you feel yourself just tense and freeze.
SPEAKER_14What the motherfucker's looking at me.
SPEAKER_13What? Uh what? Oh, sorry, I I've just completely lost my train of thought there.
SPEAKER_11Uh yeah, let's let's go this way.
SPEAKER_13Let's just keep going, yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Down the alley. You guys, um, are you guys just hiding in this basement?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, is that what you two are doing? I want to do a perception check.
SPEAKER_10Okay. Yeah. Roll me a quick perception check.
SPEAKER_03And I'll have another. Dice on the floor.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's an at 20.
SPEAKER_06Ooh. I don't think I need to.
SPEAKER_10Perception check. Alright, nice. Um, as you guys are in here, what is it you're looking for?
SPEAKER_05Uh is there anybody that's like scary? Looking for hostile parties or any parties.
SPEAKER_10That are outside the window or inside?
SPEAKER_05Inside with us.
SPEAKER_10Uh, there is nobody. You guys are alone in this uh storage basement.
SPEAKER_04Um, can I kind of listen out for if I can hear Bill outside?
SPEAKER_10Uh yes. Um, what what is it that Sylvia is uh has disguised herself as while you uh roll that?
SPEAKER_04Oh, is there any kind of like or can I tell if we're in a business if we're um yeah.
SPEAKER_10Uh Binkham actually grabs a uh like a what looks to be just a box full of company t-shirts, uh as it uh looks to be uh Jojo's creamery.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Um this is scary. Okay. Um can uh Sylvia kind of make herself look a little bit into um Okay, so so I can't I can't leave my snake shape. Not really.
SPEAKER_10You you basically can make yourself look like whatever you want. It's just you can't really um make yourself you can only make yourself a foot taller or shorter. You will still like if someone reaches and touches you, they will still feel yeah like your form, they'll feel through the illusion, but you can make yourself look like someone else.
SPEAKER_04Um I kind of I'm gonna make myself uh just like a foot shorter and the most like basic blonde woman. Like give me like Midwestern like Belinda vibes. I work at the culverse. I'm I've eaten corn all my life. This is like Rosy cheeked Bob Blond.
SPEAKER_10There we go. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um vibes.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Uh are you are you making yourself look like you're wearing like this shirt or something like that?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna give myself that that company shirt.
SPEAKER_10That company shirt. Uh as Binkham flips it around on the back. Uh you say uh three you see it says uh four scoops for only a four dollar bill on the back of it.
SPEAKER_04Um as I'm putting it on, I'm like, God, that's such a good deal.
SPEAKER_10Binkham, uh as uh you're kind of looking around, and actually, Sylvia, what was it that you uh rolled for perception to?
SPEAKER_02It was a 20.
SPEAKER_10For a dirty 20 or nat 20? We got two nat 20s? Holy crap. I am not yeah. That's another fake coin, baby. Um as you guys are down here, man. You know what? The the two nat 20s, I think, cancels out any sort of negative that that fate coin could have affected. You guys both sense you guys can hear the flapping and the heavy landing uh of actually it's a bit more of a uh a business shoe like tapping onto the concrete uh and uh you see as walking his stones crack and break underneath uh and roll out of underneath his shoes. Where are you?
SPEAKER_07Where did you slither off to Sylvia?
SPEAKER_10Uh and as uh you guys are um uh down here, uh Binkum, you notice something over in the corner. And as you go and look over in the far corner, you look that there's another door leading down? It looks to be hidden behind some boxes.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Um can I roll some sort of check to decide if this appears appears to be a hiding spot?
SPEAKER_10Yes, you can uh uh uh you actually don't have to do any sort of check. If you want, you can just go over and open it. Okay, I'll go open it. You go open it. Um as you um as you go and open it, you see as um that's weird. You just pull open this door and it looks to just be stone. But Sylvia, as you are looking and you're you're kinda get catching your breath again, you hear a voice. Queen. You've got this, Queen. As you see a watery form that uh Binkham, you do not see this uh Sylvia, you see just this watery form looks to walk through this stone down almost as if it's walking down into a basement.
SPEAKER_05I'm like, well that's weird. Why would they put a door in front of just a stone wall?
SPEAKER_04Oh that's no stone wall. I've received word for my representation.
SPEAKER_03And I'm gonna follow that entity.
SPEAKER_10You uh begin to walk and follow this watery form into uh this um lower uh staircase that leads down. Um and Binkum, you see as Sylvia just looks to form through this solid stone.
SPEAKER_05I'm just like standing there shocked. I'm gonna try to walk through it.
SPEAKER_14Don't go.
SPEAKER_05Oh my gosh! No, I can definitely get through there. I'm gonna try to walk through it again.
SPEAKER_10Sylvia, you just hear this dunking on the other side.
SPEAKER_04I think I think Sylvia fully thought that she was just gonna follow her, so I think she was turning around and she's like, You uh having some trouble there.
SPEAKER_08What?
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. No, I sorry, I'm coming. Like stupid, stupid, stupid.
SPEAKER_10Sylvia, you see your your head is like you're you're able to just like stand and like stick your head out from here, but you see as Binkham tries again, but she's hitting like a solid surface.
SPEAKER_05I want to try again.
SPEAKER_04It's working. Can you like uh make a hole? Like break it. Oh let me see.
SPEAKER_05I'll try to slap it.
SPEAKER_10As as you go and slap it, uh you feel this, uh you feel before you hit the stone, you feel something stop your hand. Uh Sylvia, you see um as a uh watery form reaches out, puts their head out in front of you, honey, and uh goes and pulls Binkham through uh solid stone. Uh as this happens, your head's still uh kind of sticking out as uh your Midwestern blonde Bob and you see as uh this um the window bursts as you see a small bead of uh fire very swiftly goes into the middle of the room. You hear this hollow explosion uh in front of you right before you're able to pull your head back. Um and you just hear this shaking outside of uh the space you guys are currently in. So back to the flashback. Virgil Michael. What was your guys' uh you know, you guys had three whole days, uh think thanks to uh Blorf today to uh prepare for this. What uh what was your guys' rendezvous location?
SPEAKER_13Ah man, that's a very good question. One that we absolutely came up with.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, yeah, totally. It's the park we landed in the green jelly water. Like that's where we're gonna agree to me.
SPEAKER_13Yep, right in that park, the place where where where we first landed in the mainframe.
SPEAKER_10The lime, the lime flavored, the lime flavored green water.
SPEAKER_11Not in the water, because that that that looks really suspicious.
SPEAKER_10Like no, no, no, no, no. Nearby. For sure, for sure. Um you guys are able to get there, and you I mean, you guys probably would say that you uh that was a pretty successful mission. I mean, uh everything seems to like you guys got uh you know some some interesting information, everything like that. Definitely got some info, yeah.
SPEAKER_13Well, to be to be honest, we kind of went into that like freezer thing, and I think I have more questions than answers now, now that I'm really thinking about it.
SPEAKER_11We ended up not interfacing with the mainframe, I guess. A turbo with we just kind of showed up, got a little confused, we broke in successfully, and then got out. So I guess we know that's possible.
SPEAKER_13I mean, should we try it again? I I think maybe well now I feel like we just kind of disengaged, and then we're uh we left because a lot of crazy I it something fell off.
SPEAKER_11We left before things got worse. I think that's that's there's nothing wrong with that.
SPEAKER_13There's nothing wrong with leaving a situation when you feel like it's getting bad. Yeah, obviously. Unsafe.
SPEAKER_11Someone was gonna look for those guys eventually. We knocked a couple of dudes out.
SPEAKER_13Obviously. We we could have killed some people, but I mean we knocked them out, you know, and they're fine. I mean, I hope. Um try to kill them.
SPEAKER_11I mean, I I don't know my own strength, so I'm I guess we could have, but like that wasn't my intention.
SPEAKER_13Um it wasn't my intention either, but you know. Accidents happen.
SPEAKER_10Um Sylvia, how would you and your new friend approach the rendezvous location?
SPEAKER_04When you when you mean by approach, like in our mind's eye, what how do we conceive of the rendezvous location?
SPEAKER_11Approaches to the rendezvous point.
SPEAKER_10You uh you you guys, when you guys went into this lower area, you guys found yourself in kind of that uh uh sewer-like uh circuitry. Um you guys are able to uh shortly after that uh make your way back up to the surface, getting like a safe way away from the uh city hall uh and uh then able to make your guys' way back to the uh the park. Um now the park is it's a decently sized park. I'd say it's probably about uh um probably oh about um a quarter mile uh in kind of radius or uh not radius diameter. So it's a decent sized one, but it is directly in front of the um the city hall. There is some tree coverage, it's not like you're gonna be meeting right in front of the city hall, but um it is within the vicinity.
SPEAKER_04Cool. I think uh I think we're I uh the moment we kind of crop up and come upon near that point, we are slinking and I'm trying to be so covert. I mean, I know I'm disguised, but I'm I think Sylvia is going. Oh yeah, it's a beautiful day at the park. I love the park. Three. She's kind of panicking, but trying to hold her character. She's terrified of getting found.
SPEAKER_10Virgil, what's uh you guys are disguised. You knew you were gonna be disguised. What's the uh code word to uh confirm that uh you're talking to someone within the party?
SPEAKER_13Uh it wasn't my idea, but razzle dazzle.
SPEAKER_02Wonder whose idea that was.
SPEAKER_13Uh it could have been anybody's, really. I insisted on something a little less pizzazzzy, but you know.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, this park sure has a lot of razzle dazzle. Yeah. Sure, got some.
SPEAKER_10Uh there's a little uh bridge over a creek uh that kind of leads between a couple of the different ponds. Uh and yeah, you see uh this uh bobbed um midwestern gal, blonde gal. Michael, I think that's I look about 40.
SPEAKER_11I mean, yeah, no one in the mainframe is acting like that, and she said the word, so yeah, that's that's that's yeah, that's gonna be her.
SPEAKER_13I'm gonna I'm gonna wave her down.
SPEAKER_03Drop some.
SPEAKER_10Michael, what's the callback sign once someone says uh razzle dazzle?
SPEAKER_11I still look like me, but I'm gonna still give me disguised as me. This is this is a this is a good point. You're wearing a cap, it's a little uh the callback is what peculiar word to use at this formal park setting.
SPEAKER_13Again, that was not my suggestion.
SPEAKER_04Guys, I swear to god, I almost just died like four different times.
SPEAKER_13What what happened?
SPEAKER_16Um okay, McLavin. Oh god, and it all starts crying.
SPEAKER_11Where's McClavin? I just realized yeah, McLaven's out there. Oh, we got it.
SPEAKER_16McClavin was taken by the mainframe.
SPEAKER_13Oh no. Oh, that's he's a part of the mainframe now.
SPEAKER_16He got taken.
SPEAKER_13Oh god, McClavin. Hey, hey, who is that? The point that's a gnome that's Binkham.
SPEAKER_16Bingham's a point. All right, nice to meet you.
SPEAKER_13Whoa. Um you go in for the hug, Binkham.
SPEAKER_05We're gonna be great friends.
SPEAKER_11Who's Binkam trying to hug right now? Who's the everybody?
SPEAKER_05I'm doing a group situation. Michael's gonna go.
SPEAKER_11It's been a rough couple of days. I think we could use the end of it.
SPEAKER_13I just kind of get swooped into it by just happenstance and we Binkham.
SPEAKER_10As you uh are hugging Virgil, you fe you hear a familiar squeaking.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, that's Pitt. I start like ruffling through like his clothes.
SPEAKER_10Through his uh through his agenda. Uh you see as as you reach into one of the pockets and you are like full shoulder deep. And as you have to like wrap your arm around uh Virgil's like torso, you're able to grab you're able to grab Pip. Pip's Pip's always a squirmy sucker.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. You can't take the knees.
SPEAKER_10You can't take the gerbil.
SPEAKER_05You found you. See, today ain't so bad. Okay, give it a kiss. Today is awesome! Yay.
SPEAKER_13Uh yeah yay. I love the attitude. Positivity.
SPEAKER_05That's nice. So what's your name? And we came back and forth like a tennis tennis match.
SPEAKER_13My name's Virgil.
SPEAKER_05Hi.
SPEAKER_13Hi. I'm Michael. I guess at this point I can take off.
SPEAKER_05That's one of my favorite names.
SPEAKER_13I thank you. I think it's pretty good myself. I think Virgil's a good name.
SPEAKER_11No, Virgil's a really solid name. There's a lot of Michaels out there, but you know, the individuality is really in Virgil.
unknownYou know.
SPEAKER_04There's something very classic about it. I've always thought.
SPEAKER_11There is.
SPEAKER_13Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. I'm gonna go ahead and take out my ogre look because I mean, clearly we're we're we're out in the park now. Okay. I go back to look looking like a fur bulg. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Something that we all need to know. A few things real quick. Yeah. Uh bale bombs.
SPEAKER_11This is a safe place to debrief.
SPEAKER_13Uh listen. I think we're fine. Can I?
SPEAKER_11I need to look around.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I'm gonna look around and see Michael's on that's how this whole campaign started.
SPEAKER_11Michael got busted in this in the mirror dimension park. In this mirror dimension, in the original park, carve it up a topiary.
SPEAKER_13Well, if you don't carve up a topiary, we should be fine, alright?
SPEAKER_11I'm I'm gonna investigate. I want to look around. Is it perception of uh DM? Uh do I perceive or do I investigate? Uh you can perceive, yes. Okay. Well, if I could investigate. No, no, wait, wait, both are good. Both are good. I got I got so plus two on that. Alright. That's a 21. Alright. This is 21, solid.
SPEAKER_10Um Michael. You're I mean, you're a uh you're a ranger, right? But you you're a little bit more of probably you're a little bit more of an urban ranger, totally, correct? Yeah, absolutely. Um your uh eyes and ears are for the um, you know, spotting people, spotting, you know, natural points within uh a civilization, and in the past few days you've kind of begun to I wouldn't say get acclimated, but start to understand kind of the cues of this odd place. Um and one thing that you have been able to cue on is that even though everyone is moving robotic and isn't usually paying you any mind, you notice everyone's ears are open.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, no, yeah, no. We I don't want to talk anymore until we get to like back to a a safe house or something. I don't feel comfortable being out here while anything we say could just be taken and like exploited against us.
SPEAKER_15Okay.
SPEAKER_13Oh I'm you know what? Um Michael, I'm with ya.
SPEAKER_05I just came back on Sylvia's shoulder.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_11Okay.
SPEAKER_05Wherever you guys want to go.
SPEAKER_11Wait, hold on. Where did you come from? Hold on, wait, I'm not done with Binkham. Yeah, Binkham, you just showed up with a gerbil.
SPEAKER_05Binkum fell out of bracelets.
SPEAKER_11Out of the sky. Okay, okay. We're getting somewhere. We kind of fell out of the sky. We fell into Are you are you do you know where you are right now?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I have no idea where I am, but I figured you guys would let me know.
SPEAKER_11Have you ever heard of the mainframe?
SPEAKER_16So what?
SPEAKER_11Oh my goodness. Well, I guess you know when things are insane.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That typically occurs in the mainframe.
SPEAKER_11Say it in the mainframe. I don't know if that's actually an app description. You know what? Fine. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_11I guess the thingum doesn't know what the mainframe is. They probably don't know that. They probably can't be from it, right? Okay, yeah, we're good.
SPEAKER_13Bingham, where were you before you dropped out of the sky?
SPEAKER_16I was in a hole.
SPEAKER_13A hole. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Um was in a hole. Can we stop interrogating Bingham?
SPEAKER_13Okay, fine. Guys, uh, but where's a reading book? Huddle.
SPEAKER_05Thanks for asking.
SPEAKER_13I'm gonna put everyone into a huddle. Where are we gonna go?
SPEAKER_11This was the rendezvous point we established. We also established the safe house.
SPEAKER_10You also established the safe house. Oh, that's right. Now that I remember how we did establish the safe house. Would you guys go to the warehouse that you guys that Charles took you guys, or would you guys go under the bridge? I think we'd go under the bridge. Yeah. Under the bridge. Under the bridge.
SPEAKER_13Because if we exit if we go to the warehouse and someone follows us, that's not good.
SPEAKER_10You guys head over, uh, and I just want one more real quick um stealth check with uh advantage. Ooh, from everybody.
SPEAKER_14Uh everybody?
SPEAKER_10Yes. Alright.
SPEAKER_1315.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_12Nice.
SPEAKER_11Dude, two twelves. Look at that. How'd you totally 12 killer?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I got double too.
SPEAKER_13Double trouble.
SPEAKER_11Oh, 32. Oh.
SPEAKER_13Dang, bink em?
SPEAKER_05Damn, bink him. Damn, bink him?
SPEAKER_11I mean, we need we need that short.
SPEAKER_05Why isn't stealthy?
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_13All that wisdom is going into those dice rolls.
SPEAKER_10Uh, yeah, you guys are able to uh uh move throughout the uh the city uh without any uh any problems. Um Binkum. As you are what's um uh let me know if the this feel you walk, I'm assuming you kind of walk like real real free. You sway in your shoulders a bunch, uh kind of um letting your arms kind of flow. How what's what's Binkham's walk like?
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, definitely. I'm just flopping all around, like just so like I'm having a great time.
SPEAKER_10As uh as you're walking, you notice as uh the crew that you're with looks to be walking in a rhythm, and in a rhythm with everyone else. Here. I'm assuming you guys, as this stealth check, are just disguising yourselves within this rhythm. You guys have had the weekend to kind of figure it out. You guys are kind of walking this march. And you kind of start to get this eerie feeling, Binkham, that um maybe you don't want to stand out. Maybe you don't want to be spotted here.
SPEAKER_05I like try to straighten up and walk in the rhythm, but I'm I'm s it's like not quite working. I have like a little bit too much pep in my step.
SPEAKER_13You're thinking too hard about it.
SPEAKER_10You can't you can't get rid of the pep the pep is the pe it's the pep, man. It's the pep. Um and as you guys walk there, you guys are uh heading towards underneath the bridge that leads towards uh the suburbs. Um but we are going to take our quick break right here before we uh get underneath the bridge. So um we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_11Don't go anywhere.
SPEAKER_10Hi everyone, and welcome back uh to Sylvia's um therapy session. Um she's been going through a lot, guys. Yeah. She's been going through a lot. Um, we mean emotional, we mean mental, we mean psychological, every single form, yes.
SPEAKER_02She is unraveling. Um she's someone we don't recognize.
SPEAKER_10It is, I will say it is a little bit of a uh a little bit um what is it jarring, kind of Binkham. I feel like Binkham feels like Sylvia used to. Like Sylvia did just a few days ago. And I would say probably Virgil and Michael, you guys are kind of uh seeing this kind of uh, you know, Bingham, this this fresh face as you guys enter into uh this um the uh the hideout underneath the bridge. Uh so underneath the bridge you guys uh meet the uh the the front door. Uh you guys get in, let's see, by let's see, was there a secret? There was not a secret word. I thought there was a secret word. I might be thinking of something else. Um well actually um during your guys' planning process, you asked the um uh uh Charles Charles Sophie and Sir I'd say Sir Chopsky, he's the one that kind of leads up the the underneath the bridge location. Um what was it, Virgil, that Sir Chopsky told you the entry code was?
SPEAKER_13It was one one one one pound star exclamation point.
SPEAKER_11Dude, that's so good. You can't brute force that exclamation.
SPEAKER_13No one would guess that. You know, it originally was one one one, but then they were like, oh, we have to reset the password again. Uh, let's just add some symbols after it.
SPEAKER_11That's so annoying.
SPEAKER_09Then you forget which one I put I put that special exclamation point one underneath the the the little uh the little box because no no one's gonna think there's a special button underneath there.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, it looks like you guys added the symbols like after the fact, like there the number pad was there, but then you guys added a secondary like it's like this password is not strong enough, and then you have to add a bunch of bullshit.
SPEAKER_09Yep, yep, that's exactly it. That's exactly it. That's what we had to do.
SPEAKER_10Um, so you guys enter in 1111 uh pound star exclamation point. Um and beep beep. Uh you guys are let into uh this uh this hideout. Um this one is uh uh very similar. This is a uh kind of a um I would say probably a more secure location. There's there is I mean, definitely a more secure location than anywhere else in the city. It's very similar. It's a bit of a smaller field than that. Um actually no, it's it's actually that same um open space that you guys had gone into earlier. You have the cat walks up above the the top, uh the probably about 15 feet up of this uh large uh rectangular room that goes about 20, 25 feet high. Uh, you guys got on your guys' left a whole bunch of uh refugees and uh you know people that have been pulled into the main frame. Uh to the right is uh the meeting location for uh uh Sir Chopsky, Sophie, and uh Charles. There's their room over to the right, and then there's a few little um corners that uh people can just kind of come rest on the right side. Um more the right side is more people that are part of this uh little rebellion than the left side is uh a lot of people that they're caring for.
SPEAKER_13Alright, we should be good to talk in here.
SPEAKER_14Sylvia.
SPEAKER_13What happened with Bill Bond Claven?
SPEAKER_04I mean, it's not something I'm proud of, you say. Um but um things went south very quickly. Um McClavin um was overtaken by Bill. He I think was experiencing some visions. Uh I I couldn't tell. There was some sort of psychological pathfinding. McClavin was taken over by the mainframe, but only after he told me Bill's real name.
SPEAKER_13Bill's real name. Is it not Bill Bond?
SPEAKER_04His real name is Chester R. Bumblebottom. And honestly, I understand. I mean, I had to change my name for Actor's Equity, so you know, obviously. I didn't know that Bill was an actor.
SPEAKER_13Virgil's just dying laughing.
SPEAKER_02But Sylvia's being so serious. Sylvia has like tear her eyes, I think, as she's recounting this. Um that's a perfectly totally normal. Sylvia is looking at him like this. She's like.
SPEAKER_13Oh, sorry. Anyway.
SPEAKER_04Um McClavin was overtaking. He said some weird stuff about Q3, whatever, and he was gone right in front of me. And so I panicked and I just began repeating Chester. And then Chester or Bill or whatever the fuck his name is, he threw himself through the side of the building.
SPEAKER_16He fell outside, he toppled over. I hopped in the broom. I started chasing after him, saying his name over and over again.
SPEAKER_04He was in so much pain, he was screaming his head off. And then all of a sudden, he threw a giant fireball, wall of fire at my head. And as you guys know, my head is my moneymaker. So what was I gonna do? Knocked me out. I I could barely hang on to the broom. I I I take uh think of oh my goodness, I was at Bill though. I take pick up and we just sped off, and then Bill said I was at strike three.
SPEAKER_13Strike four scary.
SPEAKER_04And then we hid in a basement, and thank God my manager stepped in just at the last minute.
SPEAKER_11Your manager?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_11I um I think that's our patron.
SPEAKER_02My representation.
SPEAKER_04Oh uh we don't like to say that in the business, but um Okay. Uh yes, he stepped in and saved us just in time.
SPEAKER_13Well, that might have been the scream that we heard. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I was screaming.
SPEAKER_13Well, no, not well, okay. I guess we were hearing a mix of screaming between you and Chester. Chester.
SPEAKER_04You should call him Chester. It's funny, no.
SPEAKER_11It's great. It's pretty hilarious. I like to respect people's chosen names. That guy's a dick, so like he can we can call him Chester.
SPEAKER_13But also, uh uh Bingham, uh I mean, you like you it sounds like you kind of just dropped here. Um how are you doing?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Um, well, I'm happy to be here. Yeah, and I'm also scared. I have no idea where I came from. I just kind of blinked into existence here, and then I lost my gerbil. But thankfully we found her again. I don't know, guys. This is scary. Why am I here?
SPEAKER_04To be honest, none of us really know why we're here. But um, luckily there's some good people here who can maybe help or show us the way.
SPEAKER_13Help me try to find a way out. Seems like more and more people are dropping in here.
SPEAKER_04I mean, so it feels like our assimilation day is just getting closer, and now Bill's gonna be out to try to find me at least.
SPEAKER_11Well, I think interesting is that the way we talked about the third strike before is that it seemed almost immediate. You know, the way the way that Naratsky mentioned three strikes, and then that's it. You're still here. Yeah. It didn't happen.
SPEAKER_13Right?
SPEAKER_04I guess not. I I don't know.
SPEAKER_13I But Michael, I mean, we we don't know if there's like some extra component to this, like maybe Bill or maybe some other entity has to do something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I mean Is it a game of proximity? Is it because we got away quick enough?
SPEAKER_11I I have to hope so. Because if he could do it remotely, why wouldn't he have already done it?
SPEAKER_04So would you mind reminding me what physically occurred as McClavin was being overtaken?
SPEAKER_10Uh was it like con was it like a grab or it was a ball, uh this black orb that uh he conjured uh into uh at the tip of his finger that uh slowly floated over to uh I wouldn't say super slowly, but uh floated over to McClavin. So I believe as you guys know, um three strikes, even the people assimilated are um basically have been saying you don't want three strikes because you no longer exist after three strikes.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, that's um Oh you exist right now. You're existing still. You haven't ceased.
SPEAKER_04But I could stop at any moment.
SPEAKER_13I mean, guys, what if what if there's I mean, maybe Bill Bond isn't the tippy top, maybe there's some other force or other thing that sleeps we could all stop at any moment.
SPEAKER_11The whole striking system seems kind of arbitrary. He knows that there are insurgents out there, so why not just take them all out immediately?
SPEAKER_04That's a good point. Bill says something interesting. He was talking about how, you know, being from hell and uh his sort of obsession with creating order and that he created this world in order to build it and shape it as much as he pleased. My thought is if someone is actively threatening or defying that order, is simply ceasing to exist being removed from the simulation? Is it simply a a cause of you are too chaotic in this ordered world? Back from once you came?
SPEAKER_13I mean, the only way to know that would be for us to do that.
SPEAKER_04I don't know, but it it is a nice thought, right?
SPEAKER_13The way out is to get erased. Let me get this straight. You're suggesting that we try to be erased.
SPEAKER_04I don't know, I I think I'm just trying to make myself feel better if I guess I am.
SPEAKER_13Sylvia, I'm sure you're fine. I mean, uh you're here.
SPEAKER_04Um we can still talk to you and he knows me, and he'll be trying to find, you know, at least our base. We got I got myself too close and I and I played the role too well, and and I was so excited to play pretend and trick around and and fool him that He can try to find you.
SPEAKER_11We're not gonna let him just take you like that. We're gonna do everything we can to make sure that you don't just get deleted like this. We're all gonna get out of here.
SPEAKER_13He's gonna have to get through us.
SPEAKER_04You swear on the ensemble.
SPEAKER_13Uh I don't know about that.
SPEAKER_04Say it. Say the pledge.
SPEAKER_11I swear on the ensemble.
SPEAKER_04You the pledge dance in the world.
SPEAKER_11No, please don't. I swear on the ensemble around us and with us within us that we will succeed.
SPEAKER_10We will succeed. You see, someone in the background just sings a harmony.
SPEAKER_13You know what? Uh Ditto.
SPEAKER_11I check on Binkum. Hey. This is this is a lot of stuff. Maybe kind of heavy.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Uh I I don't I just feel like we're all doomed. I don't know. That's kind of the vibe that I'm getting. Bingham. Is anybody else getting that vibe?
SPEAKER_11Pretty hard turn. Hold on.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, we really we really can't.
SPEAKER_05This is just all new to me. I don't know, it's scary.
SPEAKER_04But what did you guys learn?
SPEAKER_11What um I learned their kitchen is pretty good at keeping things compliant, honestly. Okay. We sh I showed up, you know, everyone's wearing gloves, you know, the hand watching station was pretty well stocked, gotta say. Coolers were at temp. Um we found a rodent, they were pretty quick to try to remedy that situation. Um, the the the walk-in freezer, not a freezer at all. I don't know what that was. But Virgil and I both walked in and we were transported somewhere else kind of. Maybe it felt deeper into like the heart of the mainframe. It's into some kind of uh uh uh I don't know extra dimensional is not right, but it brought it in bring us to a freezer. It brought me it brought brought me to a field.
SPEAKER_13I don't brought me to a worst. Yeah. Michael. That gives me an idea. What's up? So we're in the mainframe, right? I mean, if we really think about it, I mean we're in a digital landscape. I mean, everything is connected. I mean, we literally saw uh that cat glitch out and then turn into things and then we had to fight them and then turn back.
SPEAKER_11I mean Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Everything is connected. So clearly, I mean that freezer shouldn't be the only way we could access or change the mainframe. I mean, there has to be other other places we could pierce the veil and maybe maybe change something.
SPEAKER_06Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_13I mean Listen, if Typhus were here right now, he'd be clambering up the walls just trying to mess something up. I I I mean he wouldn't just be sitting here and letting all this stuff happen. He'd he'd be he'd be making being messy, making mistakes, because uh at the end of the day, that's uh that's all we can do.
SPEAKER_07We can't just sit around lover.
SPEAKER_13What typhus- No, Typhus is my miss him so much. No, guys, your boy Typhus. No, Typhus is you literally meant Typhus. He's my how it's okay if it's complicated.
SPEAKER_04We can tell you were fucking. It's fine.
SPEAKER_13You know what? I should not have said anything. I'm gonna go take a breather. Uh, you guys do your thing. I'm just gonna. Yeah, take your time.
SPEAKER_11Think about typhus all you need to.
SPEAKER_16It's uh cute.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, Sylvia.
SPEAKER_04You say that you want to change things in the mainframe. Wouldn't we rather just liberate it?
SPEAKER_13Isn't isn't that the same thing?
SPEAKER_04Not really. It's it's like between um coming up with a new set dressing, uh, a new set design, throw it up in your theater versus bulldozing the theater down, telling everyone go get office jobs.
SPEAKER_13Oh, well, look, I'm not trying to say that we should blow up the mainframe or anything. I'm just saying that like everything's has an order.
SPEAKER_16If everyone here wasn't originally from.
SPEAKER_13Oh yeah, typhus would definitely say blow it up.
SPEAKER_04But if everyone here isn't supposed to be here and isn't from here, shouldn't we just send everyone home?
SPEAKER_13But we've we don't know if that's possible. I mean I mean, obviously there should be a way. I mean, I I would like to believe, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_11I've just come to a realization. So sorry to interrupt you, Virgil.
SPEAKER_13Oh no, it's okay, Michael.
SPEAKER_11I mean I mean, if we're in the mainframe, right? We don't know there's a way out. And if we don't get out, we're gonna die. Either way, we're gonna die. Shouldn't we die trying to get out? And shouldn't we die trying to make it so everyone else gets out too?
SPEAKER_13That was yeah, I couldn't have said it. Yeah, what Michael said.
SPEAKER_04And if Bill created this mainframe, then isn't taking him down the only way to set everyone free? Well I think we need to kill Bill.
SPEAKER_13Is that a reference or something? Uh you look like you're making a face. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Am I making a face?
SPEAKER_11No, you you you need it's it it it's it's it's the title of one of Sylvia's uh uh scripts she's writing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, one woman show. How would I woman who just her husband's name Bill and she just wants you to kill him?
SPEAKER_13No, literally, how would I have known that reference if that was something like I I would I am not the picture of the arts?
SPEAKER_04He really needs to go to four other people.
SPEAKER_13No, I oh, okay.
SPEAKER_11Well so you need to go and you how much when was the last time we saw a show, Virgil? Like when was the last time we actually went out you went out to a pay what you can night for a local theater?
SPEAKER_04Yes, cats. You saw cats.
SPEAKER_11You saw cats when you were eight forever ago.
SPEAKER_04People in the cat suit sexually informed your preferences.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, and now and now you're in love with your dog friend.
SPEAKER_13A dirty little dog man. You guys are just imposing a lot on me, and I really think you don't know me in the slightest.
SPEAKER_04It's not imposing. In theater, it's called gifts.
SPEAKER_11Income, what do you know about Virgil right now? Everything you found out in the last like bit knowing us.
SPEAKER_05Oh, um, that he's in love with a dog.
SPEAKER_00What no.
SPEAKER_11Okay. If this stranger could believe that.
SPEAKER_05That's about that's about all I got, to be honest. But it's really cute, and I ship you guys. If it's forever.
SPEAKER_13Maybe I should die trying.
SPEAKER_11That's the spirit, Virgil.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, who's in? I think we should call a meeting with everyone who runs the secret underground revel business and try to come up with a way to completely topple the mainframe.
SPEAKER_13I'm in. I'm in.
SPEAKER_04Sparkle fingers.
SPEAKER_13Razzle Dazzle. Razzle Dazzle. Razzle Dazzle.
SPEAKER_05Razzle Dazzle.
SPEAKER_10You guys. You guys uh fast forward, it's just Sir Chopsky here right now. You guys kind of bring him all this stuff uh about you know trying to break out of the mainframe. Let's break the mainframe and stuff like that. And Sir Chopsky, uh, you know, the little halfling he's wearing his uh his proper bow tie. And Sylvia, since you uh since you fixed it, it's looking a lot, it's looking a lot better. Looking a lot better, a lot more squared off. It's not partially fallen off. Um little suit uh that's got a little bit of wear and tear to it. Um, but um still he he t takes care of it.
SPEAKER_09Um yeah, that's what our last whole conversation was. The meeting, you remember yesterday we talked, we had this whole conversation about all of this. We love to do all of that, you know. Twenty years we've been underground, people died trying to fight the system.
SPEAKER_04We have like three days. How does that sound?
SPEAKER_11Now we know we have we have new information on that mission we went. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_09What's that information?
SPEAKER_11Bill Bond? That's not his real name. It's not his real name. It's a stage name. Bill Bond is a stage name.
SPEAKER_04We know it, and it's embarrassing.
SPEAKER_11Oh, it's so funny. Yeah.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_09That gives you do you understand how much power that you it gives you over a devil to know his true name?
SPEAKER_11Oh, he came back in all hot and confident that we were gonna do it this time.
SPEAKER_09I did I'm honestly surprised you guys walked in the door. I mean, you got a different friend with you here, so uh I mean, did the did the tall one leave? Oh. Uh oh. Or you the tall one. No.
SPEAKER_04What's it you big of the tall gentleman um unfortunately has been assimilated.
SPEAKER_11Oh.
SPEAKER_04He was a casualty of the mission.
SPEAKER_11The sacrifice.
SPEAKER_09Well, uh, may the mushroom child's visit him if no, he's acclimated. He's not dead. He's not dead, right? You you say he's acclimated, right?
SPEAKER_11Oh no, he's he's alive still, but like, you know.
SPEAKER_13He's a husk of a person, I would say.
SPEAKER_04He left him at the you know, town hall.
SPEAKER_11If that happens to me, just kill me, honestly. Like that's rough.
SPEAKER_09Got it, friend. Don't have to ask me twice. I I less of them acclimated, the better.
SPEAKER_11Okay, so now we should kill Bill. Bond.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I mean, uh, in theory that's uh that'd be great. Um, but from the look of your friend there's uh left leg there that she's been limping in on. Um you we still need to get you to the medic. I've been trying to tell you to get to a medic, Sylvia.
SPEAKER_04Oh. It's just it's it's a scratch.
SPEAKER_09It your whole leg is like a second-degree burn.
SPEAKER_04Like I'm like a snake person. I'm pretty sure legs aren't even a concept I'm super strong on. Okay. You know, they say in the beaters to break a leg. And I've done just that.
SPEAKER_09Well, it looks like your scales melted together, so I don't know how moving that leg around really feels right now, but you know what?
SPEAKER_04Great. I'm in a lot of pain.
SPEAKER_11He took on the role so strongly. She lived in it, breathed it, became it.
SPEAKER_09Uh taking the shot from the big guy, that's uh that's pretty uh that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
SPEAKER_11You get uh like a purple heart or kind of a commendation.
SPEAKER_04Certificate.
SPEAKER_10He's just uh just kind of like real big.
SPEAKER_09I'm oh yes, yes, I I'm gonna go and then go see the doctors, of course, too. Okay.
SPEAKER_13Let's go see the doctors, guys.
SPEAKER_04Yes. I think I'm blacking out.
SPEAKER_10Uh you guys um go ahead, Michael.
SPEAKER_11Oh, I was actually gonna we could I think maybe now's a good time to split up into like, I don't know, I want to talk to Binkham. Like, honestly. Let's seem to be a mystery, and I don't know if Bingham's been fully comfort and like been resolved about this, that that's okay.
SPEAKER_13Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Virgil, you're wait- wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's a good point. Bingham. You transported here through a hole.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Um did you did you kind of remember the feeling? Do you do you remember kind of like the what what what it looked like? Um what it tasted like? Yeah, I mean uh any sensation that you may have felt because if you can come in, maybe we can do the reverse and uh you know get out. Oh why did we not Michael, thank you for saying something.
SPEAKER_05Uh well You're welcome. I I kind of felt like I was like going in and out, and then it was like I was like a big bubble like blowing up, and then I popped. Okay, and that's when I fell down.
SPEAKER_13Oh wow. Uh okay. I don't know how to replicate that kind of feeling.
SPEAKER_11Uh crazy question. We don't kind of weird. Were you sober?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I'm straight edge.
SPEAKER_11Okay. Yeah. No, uh good for you. Honestly. Honestly. You know, you don't have to you don't have to to be on substances and have a good time. And I support you for that. That's okay. Well, you just no judging if you do, nothing wrong with that.
SPEAKER_09But but I I just puts his hands, eh, you know what?
SPEAKER_04Were you doing anything odd or touching anything that you shouldn't have been?
SPEAKER_05When I disappeared from the hole, I was just reading a book.
SPEAKER_14Book.
SPEAKER_05I don't know.
SPEAKER_14Do you have it still?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I pull it out of my pocket. It's still the same existential philosophy philosophy for the advanced mind. I'm like, it was this. Um it is my mom's book, and I'm not really allowed to read it.
SPEAKER_10Hmm. All right. Uh just to uh just remind you. Uh it seemed like it was uh it was pulling Pip in, and you chased Pip.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, Pip Pip went in first, and then um I kind of tried to grab Pip and I got sucked in too.
SPEAKER_13It it sucked in Pip.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Why would it be sucking in uh a gerbil?
SPEAKER_11A real gerbil.
SPEAKER_13Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_11A non-clockwork flesh and blood gerbil.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What does that mean?
SPEAKER_13Oh well, um I I mean, were you you were part of the city, right? I mean, like with all the clockwork animals that were around, it's actually very weird that you would have a gerbil with you, to be honest.
SPEAKER_05I mean, for the most part, I just hung out in my hole.
SPEAKER_11You know, I I guess that's fair. I guess there could be a real flesh and blood gerbil in a hole somewhere.
SPEAKER_13I mean, the city was big enough, I suppose.
SPEAKER_11There's some parts of the city I don't want to go to, because they're just a little too weird.
SPEAKER_13Anyways, we should walk and talk. Sylvia seems to be part of the doctor there. We gotta go to the doctor.
SPEAKER_10Sylvia's faded out a couple times, fell onto Virgil's shoulder.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the chest.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, now that we've addressed Binkham. Let's go to the doctor.
SPEAKER_03Walk and talk, guys.
SPEAKER_10Um yeah, uh, Michael, were you wanting to talk to Binkham or uh yourself? I you know? Yeah, actually.
SPEAKER_05Now now that sorry, my wifi's acting up. If someone talked to me.
SPEAKER_11I also just did I just didn't talk.
SPEAKER_10No, I just I was waiting. I was waiting for Vincent to say something about his internet, but then you said it. I'm like, wait, what that's crazy.
SPEAKER_11No, I'm hardwired into my router.
SPEAKER_10It's great. Uh yeah, so uh Virgil, you take Sylvia into uh the uh the medical um quarters of uh this little complex here. Um you walk up and uh all right, what's your name?
SPEAKER_09Uh this is what's your ailments?
SPEAKER_13This is Sylvia uh uh burning in the legs, maybe a concussion. Is that with five S's or six? Uh six.
SPEAKER_04As many as you want, dearie. And if anyone has a cigarette, I'll have one.
SPEAKER_13Don't give her a cigarette.
SPEAKER_09We have oxygen tanks in here. We do not smoke. I'll take four. Four tanks? Don't give her four.
SPEAKER_10That was and takes you, uh takes you guys back to a to a bed. Uh Michael, you and uh Binkham go and find a uh like a round uh park bench that's got the uh the built-in seats, round uh like mesh seats. That's nice.
SPEAKER_11No, okay. I remember Binkham saying that that book was their mother's.
SPEAKER_05Binkham's fully a grown-up.
SPEAKER_11Oh, okay. Okay, so it's playful. All right. So I'm like, oh, is this a child show? That's that's extra stakes. No. I'm like, no, we we sit down, I'm like pretty heavy day, huh?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I I hope I get to go back home at some point.
SPEAKER_11I hope so too. And we're gonna do everything in our power to make that happen.
SPEAKER_05Is there anything I can do?
SPEAKER_14Think about what it is that you want to go back to.
SPEAKER_11What it is that you love about your world, where you came from.
SPEAKER_14What it is that drives you to exist where you're from. And let that motivate you to act toward our return. Me personally, I'm just carving up a good tree.
SPEAKER_11Getting in there with my knife, cutting it up, finding the art in the bush, and bringing it out. I can't do that here. And I don't want to live another day if I can't do that, so I'm gonna do everything in my freaking power to get out of this stupid mainframe and go back into a real world where I can carve up a tree like I was intended to do. And it's not fair for everybody else to be forced and brought into here and to slowly be turned into a machine that is pumping out business numbers and quarterly reports or whatever for some asshole devil in a goddamn computer. We deserve freedom. We deserve some level of liberation, and we deserve to do that comfortably and not in a fucking computer. No, I'm so pissed about this still. No. What I what I give you is something to you can do for yourself. To help yourself come to terms with where we are and what we can do to change that. We have power in here. We're finding it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I I think if we're only ourselves to be motivated by our most important thoughts, then we have to be free. Even if even if nothing happens and we follow our highest excitement, we're free even then.
SPEAKER_08I think we can be free here. Maybe. But I don't want to be.
SPEAKER_14I mean, I think the first step is for us to get rid of Chester.
SPEAKER_11Uh sorry, I just I don't normally get this vulnerable to people. I just used to think you're having a really hard time, and I was really getting concerned.
SPEAKER_05I really appreciate it, Michael. I am having a hard time. Uh this is scary.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, no doubt.
SPEAKER_05So, yeah. But it's gonna be alright.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, no, it's it's it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. We're gonna we're gonna do everything we can to get out of here. And we're gonna find freedom.
SPEAKER_14I truly believe that.
SPEAKER_05I'm crying a little bit.
SPEAKER_11Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Kim is like nuzzling me to like comfort me.
SPEAKER_11Oh yeah, no, I don't know what to do. Uh do you do you uh need a hug? What's uh what what is that? Okay, yeah, I'm gonna go uh go in for a hug. Uh all right. I'm thinking like Arnold never cried before. This is I don't know. I've I this is this is a foreign, like, okay. Uh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_13Arnold and Michael, just two dudes that never cry.
SPEAKER_11No, like that was pretty vulnerable, and I don't Michael doesn't get that vulnerable with Arnold sometimes. Like, this is I I don't know what is up Bankham, but really, really made Michael have some feelings.
SPEAKER_13I'm locking some pictures.
SPEAKER_11That's very sweet.
SPEAKER_10Uh you can feel on your uh little uh what what are they fins, flares? What's the flares flares?
SPEAKER_11It's my neck flares, but they're they're they're they're down right now.
SPEAKER_10They're down, yeah, yeah. You see kind of nuzzle he nuzzles up against uh your neck flares a little bit as it kind of tickles a little bit and kind of uh he he or pip, it's uh pips a she, correct? I think you said that pips a she. Uh she just kind of uh she crawls back down to uh Binkham after a few seconds walking around you. Uh yeah, sweet moment. And um Virgil, uh going back to you, Sylvia is um what's Sylvia babbling at this moment? You they got you on some serious painkillers right now.
SPEAKER_04I have a little gay man. Okay. Lives in my brain. Sometimes he tells me, shall we? Okay. And then other times he's like pop off queen. So I versil, I get confused as to whether I'm pop off queen or if I'm dumb bitch. And I don't know.
SPEAKER_13Oh, Sylvia. Oh, no, don't cry. Oh, Sylvia, just it's okay, just deep breaths, deep breaths.
SPEAKER_04I have a little gay man. Oh, okay, okay, yeah. And sometimes he tells Sylvia, you stupid. You can't act. You're bad at talking to people. Well, that's great at talking to people. I do it all the time.
SPEAKER_13You do it all the time, 24-7. Mm-hmm. Oh Virgil. Sylvia, come on.
SPEAKER_04It's just Why don't you like me?
SPEAKER_13I what I never said I didn't Where'd you get that idea? I never said I didn't like you. Where did that come from?
SPEAKER_04You're you're like him. You're like the little gay man in my brain. Whoa, now what I'm uh Okay, okay, I'm sure she's You're always saying Sylvia, no. Sylvia, stop. Sylvia, think. Yeah, I mean my gay little dog boy is in another universe, and I miss him.
SPEAKER_13I've I s I talk about Typhus maybe once, and you guys act like I His name is literally Typhoid.
SPEAKER_04And you act like you want it so bad.
SPEAKER_13I did Sylvia. I I don't hate you, alright? I just do. I don't hate you, okay? I I just you know, sometimes we just have to think before jumping into things, and you know what? Because, you know, it's if we jump in and and things, you know, we we just need to plan a little bit, that's all.
SPEAKER_08Virgil.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_08What do you have to go back to?
SPEAKER_04What do you what do you What's your reason? Use some Chekhov here.
SPEAKER_13Um Chekhov?
SPEAKER_04Hogan.
SPEAKER_13Okay.
SPEAKER_04What's your reason?
SPEAKER_13Um Well, I mean, we we get back to the city and you know I guess I'd hang out with Typhus again and but you see the same old thing over again?
SPEAKER_04No. No, there's probably something you wish you could do better or different, right?
SPEAKER_13I mean uh sure, I mean doesn't anybody, but I What would you do?
SPEAKER_08What would you do? You could do anything.
SPEAKER_13If I could do anything, what would I do?
SPEAKER_04You would do what would you if you could if you should if you if you could do anything Sylvia, I what would you do?
SPEAKER_13Okay, uh Sylvia, I you really want to know?
SPEAKER_03I'm not gonna remember any of this, so you're gonna just tell me.
SPEAKER_13You know what? That's a very good point. Um I wanted to be a musician. More than anything in my life. I wanted to come to the city and really just make a name for myself, play some tunes, get people interested in. Oh no, I am a song right now. Those days are long behind me. I I do I don't I don't even have an instrument on me.
SPEAKER_04I uh you know what do you do what do you do?
SPEAKER_13You do the boom boom boom or the uh yeah, I play a couple of those.
SPEAKER_04Um That's why you don't like when I sing and dance in front of you.
SPEAKER_13No, that's not you're jealous. I'm not Sylvie, I'm not jealous, alright?
SPEAKER_04I'm jealous because I can play the cause you're so good. You can't. That's you don't let yourself. Virgil, I think that when you get back You should join the troop.
SPEAKER_13Sylvia, I Did the whole thing and it just it didn't work out. I broke my heart got broken. I I would just rather be me.
SPEAKER_04I don't care what your boyfriend thinks.
SPEAKER_13I'm not talking about typhus. I he is stupid, but you know stupid.
SPEAKER_04You're smart, Virgil. And I think genuinely you're the smartest person I've ever known. And I think there's a part of me that wants your approval real bad.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_04Because I know that you don't make bad decisions. So I think you should just trust yourself to know that when you get back home, you're gonna make all the right decisions.
SPEAKER_13Sylvia, I've made so many bad decisions in my life. Name seven. Uh name seven things? Okay.
SPEAKER_04It's a game we play in improv. Seven things. Seven things, seven things, seven things, seven things.
SPEAKER_13I feel like you're making that up, but okay. Uh it's actually five things, is what it's actually called. My first uh my first mistake was leaving my home to chase this dream.
SPEAKER_04That's a good one.
SPEAKER_13My second mistake was coming to the city thinking I could just play around and hope that people would notice me and come to find out it didn't happen.
SPEAKER_04Stun, you need an agent.
SPEAKER_13Number three. Uh Step three, I tried to find an agent and no agent would pick me up.
SPEAKER_03We're an accident where I was number four.
SPEAKER_13Number four, um I'm a little too headstrong, I guess, so uh sometimes I too much head number four and number five. Wait, uh okay. Uh my next mistake, I guess, was uh just being a little too vulnerable.
SPEAKER_04This time you get a high-five for five.
SPEAKER_13You why didn't you just high-five my head? Why now stop?
SPEAKER_03Number six.
SPEAKER_04Sylvia, I'm I'm your success is in my name, you need to give a six.
SPEAKER_13Okay, my my sixth mistake is um I could have been a better friend to Typhus when we spent time together. I feel like I kind of imposed my um my f my inadequate feelings onto him, and uh just kind of was always standoffish and thinking that he you know was uh his ideas were not great, or just at the very least not he should not do those things, and you know, maybe part of me thought that um I didn't want to admit that he was very talented, and I should have told him that.
SPEAKER_04You're an asshole.
SPEAKER_09That's so sweet of you to say about my boyfriend.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, who are you?
SPEAKER_09Hi, I came in here, I've been listening the whole time. Uh being too headstrong and being vulnerable. That's you can't disguise two strengths as a weakness, honey. I came to give it the next dose. Okay, great. I'm glad. They aren't negatives. And also, sweetheart, yeah, yeah. Leaving home was the mistake.
SPEAKER_13Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_09I mean, like I Are you regretting everything that's, you know, considering that I'm not sure if you surgeon general, your arms are very soft.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god. I'm j you know, I'm just saying I left everything that was familiar for me to chase some unfamiliar dream, and now I'm here and I didn't achieve my dream, and I'm stuck in a fucking hellhole where I don't know if I'm going to live. I don't know if I'm gonna see my only f best friend that I had in this whole goddamn forsaken city.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, but you're not your best friend because you came here.
SPEAKER_04Your best friend because you came here.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I guess so. But now it doesn't matter. I mean he's out on the main home.
unknownSure.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, sure, you know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_09She knows.
SPEAKER_13Uh booster knows, Sylvia. I don't think she needs another dose, truly.
SPEAKER_09Well, we just gotta make sure. She's got some really bad burns down there. We gotta get we gotta get like a high-level cleric in the street.
SPEAKER_02They said my burns got a degree.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_13Uh yeah, that that they that's um yeah, they got a degree, Sylvia. They're educated. You know, but how about how about you get how about Sylvia, how about you get some sleep? Um, I'll check on you in a little bit. I'll go.
SPEAKER_04Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. Can I grab your shirt?
SPEAKER_13Oh god. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Never said number seven.
SPEAKER_13How about we save seven for another time?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. My pass up.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god. I'm never gonna say those things again.
SPEAKER_06Gentle leave.
SPEAKER_10Uh, you head back out, you find Binkham and Michael uh just kind of sitting at the bench. I think by this point you guys uh, you know, you guys got uh what's your uh they got they don't have too much of a choice here in of uh of drinks here. They got water, they got some ale, um some like my there's a couple micro brewers. There were a lot of micro brewers back uh thank god back at um back at home. Uh and um uh and then that's that's basically it. Water, and then the couple micro brews. Uh, and then there's one person that's like made uh there they keep trying to sell the pond water from the lions spray.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god. Give me the strongest microbrew you have.
SPEAKER_10All right. Uh this uh this uh orcish uh man goes back, goes uh grabs a couple, uh pulls out of this uh this mini keg, pours it out. Here you are. Thank you.
SPEAKER_13Uh is there like a tab or something?
SPEAKER_07I uh uh Sir Copsky said he's got you guys all covered for today. So you guys are good.
SPEAKER_13Hell yeah. Good, because um yep, I have plenty of money and I walk and I walk away. We all do. Kind of all right, I'm gonna go try to find Michael and Bingham.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, you see them sitting over there. Um would either of you have uh tried to tried the the sprite the spirit? I I think I would have tried it.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I'm curious to see what he can do with the lie, because I, you know, it the take the flavor was curious to me when I first fell in that lake, and maybe they can turn it into something. I don't know. It's just a sprite, and it's not like mixed with like liquor, it's just straight, it's a soft drink, is what they're selling.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, they're they're yeah, it's uh it's a soft drink. They're they're self-carbonating it over there. Uh looks like they made this whole machine. Looks to be some sort of uh alchemist that made this uh, you know, uh or not elk artificer. Artificer, thank you. Uh Artificer that uh Artificer! Artifizer. Yo, that's how it's branding itself, too. Dude, that's why there's the the microbrewers and then there's the microfizzers that make their own homebrewed so sodas.
SPEAKER_13Artifizer is such a badass name for making soda fizzer.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I'm just glad folks still have their hobbies while in the mainframe, you know. That's great.
SPEAKER_13That's gotta hold on to something.
SPEAKER_10Truly. Uh yeah, it's it's about average. I I rolled it. He rolled a nine, so it's it's it's average. Yeah, I will have a second one. Often it's just first one, but I'm not having a second one. Out of just out of respect for the craft, I'm I'm finished, I'm finishing, I'm leaving an empty cup. Oh, yeah, no, I can't say no. I can't refuse. Uh yeah, so you guys um are all uh sitting here at this bench. Um and I guess it's not bench around. Yeah, Sylvia is passed out here.
SPEAKER_04Um it's called a long rest.
SPEAKER_10Oh, sorry. Yeah. I don't know. They uh you guys um kind of sitting here. Um you guys saw the microfizzor, and you guys are starting, you know, like Michael said, some people are, you know, at least some people are keeping their hobbies. Um, what's one thing from each of you three that's um kind of a I would say like a light in the darkness that you guys see here in this uh small little ecosystem underground? Ooh. Uh Virgil, would you want to go first?
SPEAKER_13I would say um, so this little area, I mean, clearly we've got some microbrewery stuff. Like this is a big common area, right? I would I would say. So you got like these techniques.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, if you honestly, if you kind of think of a a big open kind of uh prison block almost is kind of the feel for it. It's got the catwalks kind of around the outside, but it's um it's a lot bigger.
SPEAKER_13Um honestly, I think for Virgil, it just it what it feels like here people are actually smiling and spending time here almost like they were spending time in the park, you know, back in the back in the city. And there's just a sense of peace with that, that it's like, you know, even if they couldn't escape the mainframe, they've managed to pull a slice of life here, you know, to a s even even just to escape for a little bit. Um I and um if we want something physical, I would I also say that there's like a um there's actually like a little like kind of staging area for like events or like if someone wanted to do something, and they got a little there's a like um there's a musician playing something.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah. You see over there there's um uh musician and he's got a uh a trumpet and he's just playing, he has the um what is it called, the deal that jazz players have. A mute. Yeah. He has a mute over there and he's playing just a little bit of jazz. Um there looks to be a few kids that look to kind of come up and um kind of uh, you know, uh crisscross applesauce in front. Um and uh and yeah, just kind of sitting here pleasantly listening, and and he seems to have a little bit of vote of confidence as he was playing a little bit of a lower, milder tune. But as the kids kind of show up and they show interest and he kind of sees the light in their eyes, he kind of uh uh plays a little bit more, goes a little bit more freestyled with uh uh his trumpet, and you can you can see some smiles. Um Binkum.
SPEAKER_05I think Binkum uh you know was kind of just sitting in her hole for a long time wishing for friends, and so the fact that there's friendship here is a really light, like big light and a dark tunnel. She's kind of like looking around um for flowers to make flower crowns for everybody while she's kind of contemplating this, but it's it's just it's the feeling of friendship.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah. Let me real quick. Okay. Yeah, you uh you don't find any flowers, but you do find some um some beautiful ribbons uh that look to be over there kind of by like a staging area, and you ask, and they they let you take some, so you're able to kind of origami a few like flowers and be able to just kind of do all your uh the tinkering type of stuff with it. And you're kind of um you're able to make these uh these little beautiful little uh ribbon uh I don't know what uh corsages, I would probably say.
SPEAKER_05Ooh. Yeah, I think ribbon corsages, but I like I've like braided everyone's names into the corsage, and I'm not gonna like hand it to them. I'm just gonna like slip it in their pockets for them to find later.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05As like a little just a little gift for later.
SPEAKER_10Um yeah, yeah. And uh, of course, you made one for Pip. Pip uh asking you where his what hers was, and yeah, you it's like I already got your bow made. Got her tiny bow. Yeah. For sure. Uh yeah, yeah, and Michael.
SPEAKER_11In the same vein as things we bring back with us uh from the real world into the mainframe. Uh the small connections you make with strangers, much like we spoke earlier, but yeah, I asked for my my ball cap what team they are. It's the Metropolitan Manticores. And then somebody uh somebody recognized that and fist bumped me on the way. We're just like walking through, and we're like, oh yeah, I'll go cores. You know, like talk a quick chat about the the players they have going on. Yeah, um the moves they've been making, wondering, wondering how we probably a game probably would have happened since then, so we're just excuse me, talking about how we think it would have gone. Yeah, yeah, the those interactions of strangers that's still you know, we're in here, but we're also all still people.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Um, and you know, this you guys are kind of uh sitting here, uh you guys kind of just spend the rest of the day, the rest of the evening kind of sitting out here. Um, and uh, you know, you guys kind of um the the the feeling in the room kind of you feel as this weight just kind of seems to like slowly kind of you kind of feel yourself floating a little bit. It's like, oh right. This this is what uh this is what we're fighting for. And as you guys are kind of all out here, Sylvia, you um you're finally released, you're kind of on crutches right now. Um uh oh will the uh the magical take place once uh in the morning you should be able to move it just fine.
SPEAKER_09That'll be a little bit of scarring, but you'll be fine.
SPEAKER_04Thank you, Magic Man.
SPEAKER_10Of course, anytime. Anytime. Uh and as you kind of crutch out there, um you see all um you see you know your longtime roommate Michael over there smiling, chatting about uh the cores. Uh you you you notice that Binkham is over there sneaking um a ribbon corsage into Virgil's uh pocket. Um Virgil's over there just uh really enjoying some jazz music. Um and you also you take a deep breath and um just let this joy kind of sit here for a moment. And you guys all just live in this joy, you know, for however little bit longer you can have it. You guys take it in. And that's what we're in tonight.
SPEAKER_13Oh man.
SPEAKER_15Wow.
SPEAKER_13Oh, it's nice.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that was that was oh I got shivers. Yeah, we have sappy sometimes. You emotionally don't just you know, I can do more than just induce fear and terror into you guys.
SPEAKER_13Oh yeah, because when we get back into the next episode, we're gonna be fucked and you will die.
SPEAKER_11We fight Satan again.
SPEAKER_02You're proud to say I got three strikes today. That's more than anyone else got.
SPEAKER_10More strikes than anyone. Can you believe it? Straight to three. That's uh that's quite the yeah. Uh well, Al, thank you, everyone. A round of applause for Alfred.
SPEAKER_03Al Binkham looks adorable and incredible. Adorable.
SPEAKER_13We love Binkham.
SPEAKER_03We do.
SPEAKER_10Bincum loves you. Where people can find you.
SPEAKER_12Yes.
SPEAKER_05Uh, yes. Um, at Justin the Femur on Instagram, and then you can look up Justin the Femur on like Facebook, TikTok. You have everything. Um, if you don't know if it's Justin or Justin, just type it in and find it out. I promise it'll come up.
SPEAKER_10That's my tagline at shows.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_10Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Awesome. Uh well, yeah. Uh, we want to thank everyone for uh joining us tonight. Uh if you enjoyed yourself, leave a subscribe, like, join our Discord, all those beautiful things. Um, you can leave a donation to our uh PayPal in the bottom right corner. Um, but uh yeah, uh everyone with the smile on our face from the beauty of uh humanity. Um, let's give a great wave goodbye. Bye-bye.