speaker 0:   0:00
Hey there, you're listening to the Simple Home, a podcast for the modern mom looking for a slower pace, a life with less stuff, less to do and more time for what really matters. Let me simply is more than just getting rid of clutter. It's about letting go of expectations to create a life of intention. Motherhood is the ultimate ground hog day experience, where much of every day is spent on the logistical stuff necessary to keep everyone alive so you can wake up and do it again the next day. You don't need just one more thing. You need easier ways to manage the constant cleaning and feeding the overwhelming clutter, never ending to do list. I wish I could hire you a personal chef, a nanny, housekeeper and a personal finance guru. But I can't. But I can do is support you in your journey of letting go of all expectations in taking life at a slower pace. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast today. Well, hey there. Welcome to another episode of the simple home podcast. I'm your host, Jenna, And thank you so much for joining me today. This episode is going to be kind of fun because we get to talk about Christmas and just having a lighter holiday season. And I love Christmas, so I love this topic. I love to talk to other moms about it. It can be kind of a struggle during the months of November and December to keep things in our home simple and light and stress free. So this is a fun talk big to talk about today, so I'm really excited to get started. Now. I know that the holidays can some but times be the most stressful time of year for many, many people because we often get to the end and feel like we've just missed. But the whole the whole thing, all the events and everything because it goes by so quickly because we're rushed throughout it. But I think most of us would say that we wished it could be slower and more about family and friends than all of those two DUIs and craziness. So today we're really gonna talk about how you can create more space in your holiday season and just keep things a little bit slower so that you don't get to the end and feel like you missed the whole thing. So the first thing when I talked to other moms about this is I always kind of asked them to step back and decide what they would want their season toe look like. And to me, this is something that we have to do with our life as well. We can't have to step back from our life and decide what we want it to look like because we're always shown, you know, advertisements and all kinds of marketing things. And we talked to friends and family and we see stuff on social media and we just create this life that seems like what we're supposed to do rather than really stepping back in thinking about what we want our holiday toe look like. And so you've got a first step back. You've got to decide what are the traditions that I love to d'oh, not the traditions that I'm doing because everybody else is posting pictures of it or because I've always done it this way Or we did this when I was a child. Just really. What are the things you actually enjoy doing with your family that you want to continue. You also want to ask yourself about events. Are there events that you want to attend or activities that you want to do maybe in your local town, or maybe at your church or anything else? Think about the things that you actually enjoy going to that don't feel like a burden or an obligation. And then do you want tohave experiences over gifts? Or do you love the gift giving part? Now I'm gonna talk a lot in this episode about simplifying gifts, but I want you to know up front that we're all totally different when it comes to gifts. And some people love the idea of having tons and tons of gifts on Christmas, and that's okay. If that's you, that's totally fine. If that stresses you out or becomes a burden or becomes something that strains you financially and then it's probably time to step back and look at a different way. We're kind of given the picture of this Christmas tree with loads and loads of presents under it, and we think that that's what we have to d'oh. And if that's not what you want to do, I just want you to know that you're It's okay to change that. Even if you have Children, they're not missing out on anything. Um, if you decide to change the way that your holiday looks But remember, that is up to you. If you enjoy that part of Christmas and and it doesn't cause you extra stress or anything like that, then you just keep that going. Another question you can ask yourself is Do you like to shop alone on? Do you like to shop with your spouse? Do you like to shop as a family? Um, often times, I think that we don't think about that piece ahead of time and then were rushed to get holiday gifts. And it's not an enjoyable process. Where for me, I really like to give gifts. Now, we, um as they talked about, we're gonna talk about simplifying those gifts, and we don't give a ton of gifts, but I still enjoy the whole process. I like going to pick them out. I like thinking about it. I like deciding what I'm gonna get. People. I like that whole process. Um and so you kind of need to decide what what that would look like for you ideally, Is it dragging your kids with you and rushing around the store trying to figure out what they're gonna like? Or is it? Maybe you get a baby sitter and you in your spouse go and just enjoy an evening together, picking out a few toys. Or, you know, maybe you come up with a list together and you go shopping on your own, whatever that might look like to give you some peace, then go ahead and do it that way. And then, lastly, think about what the most important thing to you is when it comes to the holidays. What's the one most important thing about that holiday? And how can you make sure that you keep your priorities straight to get that one thing out there? Maybe it's setting up the Christmas tree. Maybe it's teaching your kids about what Christmas is all about. Maybe it's, um, maybe you don't even celebrate Christmas. Maybe it's Hanukkah or another holiday, and you really want to focus on that? Maybe it is giving somebody else gifts or serving other people or being with family and friends, whatever that might be. Try to decide what you're one thing is, and then look for activities or different ways to use your time that will align with that one thing so that by the end of the season you feel like you've accomplished what you wanted to and you got out of the season what you wanted to. Now that you've kind of stepped back and looked at what you'd like your holiday season toe look like it's time to look at the things that you usually d'oh that aren't really part of this vision. So think back to the couple years prior to this one. Maybe you would do some things because you think you're supposed to, or that you always have, like we just talked about. And what things are you doing that you could just take off your list that aren't meaningful to you, that you've kind of been overlooking? Because it's it's just something that you've always done. Think through what you want your season toe look like and what things you've been doing in the past that maybe you can just let go off. Sometimes I think we have a fear of doing this because what our family and friends might think that we should be doing or because we feel like our Children might miss out on something. But if you really think back to your childhood Christmases, the things that you remember probably aren't the You probably don't remember every single gift you got under the Christmas tree, but you might remember baking cookies with your grandma or the house that you went to. So, for instance, I remember going to my grandma's house when I was little. And she did. She overdid Christmas like crazy. She kept her Christmas tree up all year round and you know, the lights and everything. We're on it. She collected ornaments, so she had a crazy amount of ornaments and we loved her Christmas tree. And yes, there were loads of presents under it to be. But to be honest, I don't really remember what any of them who were. But I remember the Christmas tree, and I remember the day that we spent there. And so if you think back to your childhood Christmas, it probably was not just about the gifts. Or if you think back to the holiday seasons that you celebrated, think bigger picture what things you really enjoyed and by doing that you might be able to take some things off of your list that you're keeping on there because you feel like it's so beneficial for your Children, but that they might not even be that attached to We might be thinking that they are because were worried that they're gonna miss out. But a lot of times they don't perceive it the same way that we d'oh. So you're gonna look at what things you've done in the past few years that you could just let go off. Because if you're going to enjoy the holiday season, you've really got to take some things off your list and prioritize the things you want to dio. If you have 12 traditions, you've got a pair it down. Maybe till one or two just choose the things that naturally fit with your family. So take some things off now for me. I love setting up our Nativity set. I think that might be my very favorite part. I also love doing a Christmas tree and putting the ornaments on the Christmas tree. You know we don't have tons of ornaments, but each year we collect one or two more and oftentimes It's things that the kids have made or ornaments that we had when when I was little or something like that. And so I just think it's fun to put those up with the kids. They always like looking through them. I always have a great time doing that as well. And so those are two things that I really enjoy doing that don't take a lot of time, and then they're kind of just up for the season now, as far as like Christmas, crafty stuff goes. I used to think that I had to find different Christmas crafts for like the whole season. I would do a sensory been That was Christmas oriented and I would find lots of crafts on Pinterest, and I would set those up. And, you know, I'd try to do a craft with the grand parents. And then I tried to do crafts as gifts for their grand parents or other people on I realized that that was just stressful for like, an entire month. It was stressful and yeah, that gets enjoyed it, but only to a point, you know, they got kind of sick of it as well. And the sensory Ben would get used maybe once or twice. And then it would just become a big mess that we'd constantly be picking up or I'd put it away and they'd be bummed that I put it away. But it was because I was too stressed about it. So those are things that I've looked back on and decided to take off the list. Now, if something like that just comes up naturally, like we are, you know, maybe we goto hobby lobby and my kids see a craft that they'd love to try out. And we've got the time to do it that day and we buy it, and we all enjoy it together. Then I'm going to do that. But I'm not gonna stress myself out and try to plan lots of activities because I feel like I need thio more, so I'm just gonna let it happen. Naturally, If we want to bake cookies one day, then we'll bake cookies. You know, there's lots of different holiday traditions that you see out there, but you don't have to do them all, so make sure that you are picking and choosing and doing the one or two things that really resonate with you and with your family. Now, another thing I really enjoy doing is watching Christmas movies, and so that's a super easy one. We cuddle on the couch, put on a movie on a Friday evening or over the weekend sometime and try to choose something from Netflix or wherever and watch a Christmas movie together. So think of some things that you guys can do that aren't a stressful and the other things that you may enjoy doing but are stressful to plan. Just let them happen naturally. And if they don't, don't worry about it. There's always busier seasons than others, and so some Sometimes you just let it go and you don't worry about it for that one, depending on how busy you are now, another great way for your kids to get to enjoy some activities that maybe you aren't able to plan and implement is too allow the grandparents or other family members or friends or special people in your Children's lives to do that with them, because not only then are you taking the load off of yourself to do it all. But you're also allowing your child to spend that special time with somebody else. I know that my mother in law and my mom would both be thrilled if I call them up and said, Hey, will you take the kids for an hour and bake Christmas cookies with them today? Because I know I'm not gonna get to it, and I know how much they really want to do it, and I know they love this time with you. So think about people that are really important to your kids and in their life. And maybe there's an opportunity there where not only can they spend time together, but they can also do that activity that your child wants to D'oh! And I also just want you to remember, as I'm talking about just letting these things happen. You don't have to plan out traditions that stick with you every year, year over, year over year and stress yourself out about them happening every single time. The tradition of the holiday could just be that you guys are together, and everything else that happens just kind of flows naturally. So if you want to have a tradition where you watch a Christmas movie every Christmas Eve, every single year and then, you know, it just doesn't happen. You're going to feel like you failed at that and that it can't be a tradition anymore. When the truth is, your kids are going to remember being with you. And maybe that needs to be the holiday tradition. And some years you're gonna get to that Christmas movie and other years you're gonna bake the cookies. On other years, you're gonna count down the days till Christmas and other years you're gonna, you know, spend more time with your grandparent's. Whatever it might be, the tradition can just be simpler that you just spend time together and do it flows naturally. So take the pressure off yourself a little bit from the word traditions and just enjoy the time you have with your family. So in order to simplify, you've got to just create the holiday the way you want it. You don't have to join in the rat race and check off every single box to enjoy your holiday. Just simplify what burdens you put on yourself and the activities that you guys are gonna do down to exactly what you want your holiday toe look like. All right, for the second part of this episode, let's talk a little bit about presence and simplifying the presence. If you love to give lots of presents like I said in the beginning, and that's not stressful for you, then you can kind of just skip over this section. But for the rest of us, gift giving can be stressful. And on top of that, it brings all kinds of stuff into your house. And that could be really hardass. Well, now, before we talk too much about this, I just want to let you know that this was a really hard one for me when my husband and I had our first son and you know, his first Christmas. He was only four days old because he's kind of a Christmas baby. We got tons and tons of presents for him, and I remember we looked at those presents and I thought, How can a four year old get this much stuff? And then the next year, you know, we talked about kind of making sure it was simpler, but it still seemed overwhelming for a one year old and for our house. And so we started talking about what we really wanted that toe look like And to be totally honest, I was scared because I grew up in a house where we got lots of presents for Christmas, not just from our parents, but our grandparents were closed. So we went to each of their houses and we got more presence and it was kind of a big deal, and I felt worried about that. And like I said, I really like to give presents. I like to pick them out. I like to go shopping for our kids, so that was a little bit of a struggle for me. But it quickly became apparent how important it wasthe when, you know, we got all these gifts and they didn't last for very long. My child didn't enjoy them for very long. We end up with extra stuff. We don't know where to put it. It becomes more stressful afterwards, and we've always been really careful with our money as well. And so when you buy something and your child plays with it twice and you realize that you've wasted the money on that toy, it's kind of a parent. We've always wanted to make sure that we're spending intentionally so that we have that money for things that are worthwhile for our Children. So, you know, that was another factor in it as well. So here's a couple things that you could do to help you simplify and all kind of tell you what we decided to dio. We decided to do one present per kid for Christmas from each person, so one from me and my husband. So Mom and Dad gives one president, and then they each get one from their siblings. And we've asked the grand parents to do that as well. Now they may be listening to this, Or maybe not. But the first couple years, this was really, really hard and understandably, you know, Graham parents really want to give a lot of gifts, but they would like rap a gift in a sweatshirt and then tie an ornament on it and then, like, stuff a car down the sleeve. So that was really like a pile of gifts in one, not really like wooden gift. So, you know, that's just something that we've worked through. And the truth is that any gifts we want to be grateful for and we want our kids to be grateful for, and we can keep giving hints on just the fact that we don't want our kids to value the things that they get more than the relationships they have with people. But we also need to be gracious and understanding when people enjoy giving gifts to our kids. So we have the one present per person rule, and we try to share that with other people that may give our kids gifts. But we also know that sometimes that's not gonna happen. Um, and that's okay now on top of that, because of my, um, desire to buy a few more things for kids, I do the stocking as well. And so it's usually small things in the stocking, Um, and all kind of talk about some ideas that you can do that, or maybe non toy ideas or not as many toys, and so I'll fill the stocking with some things as well, so we try to keep it pretty minimal. But to be honest, even with that at the end of Christmas, it looks like my kids have way too many toys, and we're always struggling with that as well. Another thing that you could do is you could do a secret Santa. Maybe you have a big family and you guys can draw names and everybody just gets one president or something like that so you can do that in your household as well. And we've actually talked about doing that as our kids get bigger and they can pick out the gifts for their siblings and pay for them with their own money and that sort of thing. We've thought about doing a secret Santa between them, so they're not all getting each other a gift as well, cause really, right now, it's kind of me helping them choose something that might be valuable for them. Another thing that we thought about doing this year, because our kids are getting just a little bit bigger is asking them to think of something that they own that one of their siblings would love to have that they don't use anymore. For example, my youngest son really wants a new watch. He's never had a watch before. He's four years old, but his big brother has had one, and so he's been asking and asking for one, and my older son has the watch that he doesn't use anymore and still in perfectly good shape. And so that's an idea that my older son may gift that to his younger brother. And I know some of you are thinking, well, it's not a gift, it's more of a hand me down. But the truth is, it's gonna bring joy to him. It's purposeful to him, and it is a gift because his brother is thinking about what he wants and what he has that he can give him. So you don't have to go out and buy something brand new if there's something valuable that somebody else could get value out of in your home. So that's another. Another way to do that. Another thing, which has become really big lately. I've seen lots of stuff on it as faras. Simplifying gifts is to do experiences or time together, and this is a great one for grand parents or uncles and aunts or other people, too. If they could, you know, take your child to a movie or go to an art class or something like that, or even gift, some kind of membership or something that they can. You know that they can go watch them do a sport or ballet class or something like that. So you can ask for gifts like that to lessen the toy load or the material things that come into your home and that also give your child the opportunity to connect and make those relationships, which is what we really want to teach our kids that the relationship is so much more valuable than the stuff they get from those people. So that's another great way to do it. Um, now, if you didn't listen to episode Number 29 that episode, I spoke with a wonderful mom who created a subscription box called the Create Kit. Now, this might be a great example of one where you're gifting and experience. It's an art box that comes to your house. You get two different crafts per month, sometimes more depending on what membership you sign up for. And so that's time that you can do with your child. Or maybe a grand parent could do with your child or something like that. So looking into those opportunities is great. Now I will link to the create kit in this, um, episodes, so make sure to check out the show notes, which are at home with kids dot com. Forward slash episode 31 So you can find out more about the create kit there, and there's some other great ones, too. I'll try to link to some of my favorites in there as well. Now something else. I think we shy away from when it comes to giving gifts is asking somebody what they want. But the truth is especially, you know, if it's your best friend or if it's ah, co worker or if it's a spouse or, you know, whoever it might be. If you just ask them what's something that you could really use this holiday season or you've really been wanting but didn't want to buy yourself, then you're giving a very meaningful gift. You're not going overboard, and you're not giving them something that they're gonna, you know, feel like they have to hold on to, even though they don't really want it. So I'm a big fan of just asking what they want now. I'm not a huge fan of asking my kids what they want, and the reason for that is because that just opens up the whole door of all the millions of things that they want every toy they've ever seen, right, And most of them are not valuable for them at all. And I wanna have a little bit more choice than that. So I don't ask my kids to make a list. I don't ask them, Like, what do you really want for Christmas? Because I know I'm gonna get this long, long list of things that I'm not gonna really want to buy them, because I know it's only gonna get used once or twice. So I do think you should ask people what they want if you aren't really sure what to get them. But when it comes to your Children, I would steer clear of that unless you have older Children. And you know that they're really good at telling you one thing that they might really enjoy. So you can kind of decide there. But I don't ask my young kids what they want. I've tried to observe them, what they're playing with what kinds of things they've been talking about. But I don't explicitly asked them to make a list or anything like that. Another great way to simplify the toys, especially when it comes to other people. Giving you things is to just create a list off what your kids might need. Things like snow boots or a new jacket. Or, you know, my son just got a pair of cowboy boots for his birthday, Um, and a belt from his both his grandma's and those were his two favorite things. You burst them all the time and he thinks he's so big because he got those things and those aren't toys. And there were things that he needed, and he loves them. So make a list of things that you need, and those are great ideas to give out to people as well. Lastly, what I want to say about just the idea of simplifying presence or something that you may want to think about is don't buy presents just for the reaction on Christmas morning. You know, those big, bright eyes they open their president and they they're so excited because they got whatever it is that they saw it target or wherever else. And, um, the reaction fades before they even open their next president, right? So don't go shopping. Looking for presence. That are just gonna give your child that reaction Christmas morning because most likely those air, not the toys that are gonna bring the lasting joy and impact. And those are the toys that you're gonna be re homing within the month and feeling guilty that you have them or that you bought them. So don't purchase presence just for that reason, make yourself a list before you go out shopping. Otherwise you're gonna find things and think, Oh, my daughter is gonna love this. I'm gonna get it for her. She's gonna be so excited. And then, you know, three toys later, she's gonna forget she even got that one. So don't buy toys just for the reaction. Okay, so let's talk a little bit more about, um, just things around the holidays that come up that we can lessen the stress on so that we can enjoy. Ah, lot of the fun things that come up. One is if you like to shop alone like I talked about, plan a baby sitter once or twice, so that you and your husband or just yourself can go out and enjoy the shopping experience so that you don't have to worry about dragging the kids around or hiding the toys or or it being really rushed. You can really enjoy the process. And if you have it in you, you could leave a little activity to do with the baby sitter, which, you know, checks off one of those boxes, like I talked about at the beginning, that maybe the kids wanted to do a craft. Or maybe they want to make an ornament or color, you know, Santa Pictures or whatever it might be. Leave that with the baby sitter for that night. You go out and do your thing, they get to do a little Christmas activity, and you've killed two birds with one stone and meet it a little bit simpler on yourself as well. Another thing that you want to start thinking about before Christmas comes is how you can simplify your toys before they're going to get new things. So go through the toys with your kids or, if you like to do that alone, whatever it is, however old your kids are, well, kind of. Determine your process for that, and you can also listen to listen to the episode all about de cluttering your toys mauling to that in the show notes as well to kind of get you thinking about how to go about this Now I like to involve my kids in this, especially because I like to encourage them to give toys away during the season for kids who don't get that many presents and then, you know, open areas up for the new things that may come into our house as well. So simplify your toys beforehand and set a budget. If you do not set a budget, you were going to just go buy things without thinking. And a lot of times we go into debt at Christmas. These things end up on our credit cards, and we're paying for them for months. And you know, the biggest gift you can give your kids is to stay out of debt, especially when it comes to just cramming the tree full of presents. It's so much more valuable that you are less stressed about money and that you have money in the bank and are able to pay for other things. So don't feel bad about sticking within your budget and trying to minimize the amount of gifts that your kids get. And lastly, um, mealtimes are always a stressor all year round, but especially sometimes when things start getting busier. Maybe there's more activities after school because of the holidays, or you have weekend plans with friends and family and such. Sometimes we're going out to eat more, and our mealtimes can get much more chaotic. So simplify your meals. Usually, this is such a great season for chili's or soups or crock pot meals there, nice and warm. At the end of the day, you can prepare them in the morning. Let them cook all day. Or, if you have an instant pot, that's a great way to do it as well. So is try to simplify your meals during the month of December so that you're not thinking about it as much, and you can do some of these other things that may come up without the stress. Okay, so that was kind of a lot. We talked about simplifying the presence. I hope you got some good ideas about how that might look for your house. Remember, it's different for every household, and that's OK. We like doing the one president per person being and of course, I sneak a few extras into their stockings. But that might be, um, not exactly How did you want to do it? And that's okay, hopefully the secret Santa or doing experiences or creating that list of things your kids might need instead of just toys. Some of those things hopefully, will help you simplify the presence. If that is a stressor for you now, I told you that I would talk about some ideas of things that we're doing for presence, and I'm also going toe linked to a couple post that I've done on my website about gift ideas. So I have some educational gift ideas. I have some gift ideas that are more around the experiences rather than the toys and that sort of things. I will link to a couple different posts in the show notes. And remember, you can find that at at home with kids dot com, forward slash episode 31 so you'll see those there. But a couple things that I usually do is art supplies. How usually kind of see what they're into And like this year, my son loves mechanical pencils, so I'll probably add some of those to his little art collection. He also loves Sharpie markers, and he goes through them kind of quickly starting a revamp revamp that, um, you know, some paper or new pair of scissors or glue sticks, Whatever you're kind of out of my littlest one loves Plato. I usually put that in there, so I usually try to put a few little art supplies in their stockings or encourage one other siblings to do that as a gift. We do games. Most of my kids really love games. We play them a lot together as a family, especially card games like, you know, are far Kel Flip or, you know, there's lots of amount there for all age groups. They're really fun to play. Even my youngest one who can't play on his own, just likes being on our team. One of my favorites, the newest one that we recently got. And we've been playing like crazy. It's called quicks, Um, and it's super fun at the dice game, and it's really fun to play as a family as well, all linked to some of my favorites of those two, so you can get some ideas of what you could give your kids, but games are always such a great one. Um, so we're doing that. I'm also looking at doing some kind of membership or subscription or something for each of them. So we'll see what I come up with their. And if I find some great ideas, it will definitely do another post on those two. But like the craft box I talked about, I may look at that for my middle child because she loves art. Um, I was looking at a little online piano class that looked pretty fun. It's a subscription as well. So something like that where the kids can do something, I'm gonna try to look for something like that. So there's just some ideas of things you can do that aren't really toy related. That may be an encouragement to your shopping endeavors, but remember, I think the most important thing is that you just you can't do it all. Choose the one thing you really want to do during this holiday season. The one focus and do the things that complement that and let go of other things. Don't go through the holiday on autopilot, just doing all the things because you think that's what you're supposed to do, really create the holiday season that you want and know that it's okay not to do a lot just to enjoy, enjoy your kids and enjoy the season. Drive around and look at Christmas lights. Watch a couple Christmas movies and call it good. You don't have to do too much, so that's it for today. I hope this was helpful for you as you go into this crazier season, and I hope you have time with your family and friends to relax and just enjoy. I'll talk to you next week. Thanks so much. You just listen to an episode of the simple home. Thank you so much for spending your time with me today. I feel truly honored to be a small part of your life. Please take a moment to give a rating and rent a quick review on iTunes that will help this podcast reach more people, and I appreciate the feedback we meet here every week. So hit. Subscribe. So you know, in the newest episode goes live. And for more practical tips on simplifying motherhood, visit at home with kids dot com. I can't wait to talk to you next time