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Rich Relationships Refuge with Gil & Renée
Rich Relationships Refuge podcast with Gilbert J and Renée M. Beavers is fantastic because it's the best place to really explore the reality of relationships — the good, the bad, and the painful and confusing.
This podcast helps to illuminate what it means to be intimate with others and what it teaches people about them. It will make you want to strive for a kinder, more fun relationship with others. Many individuals don't have room in their hearts or life for people due to unforgiveness, regret, shame, and uncommunicated expectations. Rich Relationships Refuge is an experience with principles to learn.
There are tools to use with an emphasis on building, repairing, and restoring relationships with individuals and families in a safe community environment that will stand in a world that's falling apart. Gil and Renée are originally from Detroit, Michigan. Their relationship started with Renée rolling the pencil off her desk and Gil picking it up. They never knew such a small act would create a 37-year legacy of love.
Gil and Renée were only 21 when they happily committed to until death do us part. Gil retired from the Air Force, and Renée is a former salon owner who has been an entrepreneur and now an author for over 30 years. They have lived in over 13 cities throughout the United States and Germany. They are proud parents to an amazing and talented daughter,
Aharon (pronounced like Sharon, except with an A). After a family tragedy, they also adopted Renée's little sisters (Carmen and Monique).This couple has helped many other couples establish a new habit of love to strengthen their marriage relationship through their tested relationship tools and principles and as marriage facilitators through the Prepare and Enrich Marriage program. Rich Relationship Refuge with Gil & Renèe podcast is back and ready to move forward and deeper into our relationship strengths and growth areas.
Let's get empty of the pain from our past, unforgiveness, resentment, shame, and uncommunicated expectations. Our mission is to empower singles and couples to experience greater intimacy and fulfillment in their relationship with God, themselves, food, and money. This year our podcast will feature individuals and small business owners regarding their impact in these four areas. Gil and Renèe are looking forward to serving you and your relationships. Remember, you are more than enough! Now let's learn to live like it together! https://www.richrrmarriagementors.com/book-online
Rich Relationships Refuge with Gil & Renée
Exploring Commitment Before Engagement
RICH RELATIONSHIPS REFUGE
Meet: Gil & Renée
Rich Relationships Refuge podcast with Gilbert J and Renée M. Beavers is fantastic because it's the best place to explore the reality of relationships — the good, the bad, and the painful and confusing. This podcast helps to illuminate what it means to be intimate with others and what it teaches people about them. It will make you want to strive for a kinder, more fun relationship with others., This a place where love flourishes, bonds deepen, and relationships thrive. We're Gil and Renee, authors, and marriage coaches, and we're honored to walk alongside you on your journey towards a rich and fulfilling partnership.
In a world where relationships can feel like a maze, we believe in providing you with the compass and map to navigate the path of love with confidence and grace. Whether you're single and seeking, newly dating, or preparing for marriage, our app is your sanctuary—a refuge where you can find guidance, support, and inspiration every step of the way.
https://www.richrrmarriagementors.com/book-online
Thank you, welcome to the Rich Relationship Podcast with Gil and Renee, where amazing things happen.
Speaker 2:Our goal is to help build, prepare and restore healthy relationships. In our imagination are all the cameras on.
Speaker 1:Yes, ma'am, okay, so I hope you guys actually got something out of what we did. It had a little bit of technical difficulty, as they like to say.
Speaker 2:But we hope you still got something out of it. We were talking and there wasn't no sound.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and that was unfortunate, but we still got comments.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did, and we had feedback and we had questions, and, and we have feedback and we have questions, and can we start off with answering one of the questions we got from our community? Absolutely Okay, so we're going to start off answering one of the questions we got from our community, from one of the beautiful people in our TikTok community. The question was what do you do when you have started off the wrong way? What do you do when you're on the wrong track? And I thought that was a really good question. So I said I would make a video, we would talk about that, and so I just want to start off by saying we all start off doing things the wrong way, like we just talked about with the video you know, and and one of the things we're watching another video with one of my sister. We're watching it that we did when we were in Alabama. It was a message about me doing a backsplash with grout and I had all these plans of how I was going to do it and I did it wrong and I messed up and it was terrible. Gil kept encouraging me, but the thing that that taught me was and the thing that I want to encourage the person who asked that question and I'm going to go back and I'll tag her in the comments. But that's the purpose of grace, that's the purpose of salvation, that's the purpose of forgiveness when you do the wrong thing. Hi, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2:When you do the wrong thing, when you start off the wrong way, you stop, you repent, you ask God to forgive you and if there's a person that's involved that you need to ask them to forgive, you go to them and say, hey, I'm sorry, I did that wrong. Now, I'm not saying that if you think somebody is mad at you, you go to them and say that that's not what it says. If you have an art against your brother, go to your brother. Not if you think, if you have an art against your brother, go to your brother. Not if you think your brother has an art against you, because sometimes we go to people with things that really are us and it has nothing to do with them. Right, and so if you have offended them, you go to them and you ask for forgiveness. So that's what you do when you're on the wrong track. When you've done the wrong thing, you've done the human thing, you repent, you turn away, you ask forgiveness and you learn new habits and practice something you know, I think about you.
Speaker 1:Remember when you were growing up and you were either playing a game or something outside or you at school playing something or a board game or whatever. But what came to mind was you remember something called a do-over. Yeah, you know, if you are playing something or doing something you're like hold up, wait, wait, wait, I messed up, I get a do over. Yeah, well, you actually get a do over when it comes to mistakes that you may make in relationships. Sometimes, you know, unfortunately, sometimes people won't give you that grace or that forgiveness and give you that understanding that you need to get past it. But you can actually go to them and say don't say I get a do over. Say I made a mistake, I own it, you know, especially if it wasn't malicious or if it wasn't intentional, if you literally made a mistake. Say, hey, I made a mistake and I want to make it right. And you know, in our day and time, now that we're living in, I think sometimes people have a problem with taking ownership of when they make mistakes or they do things wrong. Or even if you made an intentional mistake, but guess what? And you, if you own it and go back on to it, go back over it.
Speaker 1:I think people are looking to forgive. I really believe that. If you ask them to yeah, I really believe that, because we always want to put the best or believe the best in people. I believe you know, in our world and our day and times that you look at, you can turn on the news or turn on television or whatever, and you can see constant negativity or negative energy or however you want, toxic behavior. However you want to describe it and see it. But guess what? It takes more effort and energy to do the opposite. You know, like forgive someone or take ownership of something that you may have made a mistake in and get over, you know, and try to make restitution or make amends or whatever. And sometimes you don't get that opportunity, you know, unfortunately, because sometimes people don't necessarily want to. What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 1:re, reconcile, reconcile they don't want to reconcile if it's beyond that, but as you still have a duty to make ownership of it. So that's something that we wanted to answer.
Speaker 2:That's how I see it yeah, and I think it's important that we understand that there's a difference between a mistake and a bad choice. Right, a mistake is I spilled the milk and I knocked it over.
Speaker 1:Unintentional Right.
Speaker 2:So a mistake is an unintentional error. A bad choice is you knowingly knew that you were doing the wrong thing and you still did it anyway, and I think that is something we have to be mindful of. We have to. We talk about living a life of fear and regret, so you want to make sure that making mistakes that's going to happen. You're going to knock stuff over. You know you're going to do things that maybe you may have said something or offended somebody that you didn't know what they didn't mean to. But we have to be more conscious of not willfully doing things that we know are going to hurt the people who we love and care about and the people who we're in a relationship with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it's all about motivation.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:What was your motivation for doing, or even whether it was a mistake, or even if it was intentional, what was your motivation for whatever happened. You know and that's the part that you really have to own there's a thing called intentionality or malicious motives. When you intentionally set out to do wrong against someone, that's definitely one of those things that you have to really take a hard, look in the mirror and say why am I like this? Why am I doing this? Because and especially if you're looking at it from a relationship standpoint, that can be even more challenging because you're going to be prone to make those same mistakes over and over and over again. So so we appreciate you guys coming to hang out with us on this saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're watching now, if you're watching later, put in the comments where you're coming in from and we how you found out about us. Let us know that. We want to know that yeah, and questions comments.
Speaker 1:This is an engaged interactive thing, you know last, I think it was maybe two weeks ago or a week ago, no, two weeks ago we had people interacting and asking in the community and that was awesome, you know, because, yes, we can get up here and talk about the things, whether it's in the book of our own experience of being together for 35 years, going into 36 this month, but everybody has their own experience and you can learn from something, yeah, and we can definitely learn from you guys. As you put things in the chat and we can, we'll respond to it. Renee responds to the comments a lot more than I do. I read them, but renee is like she's on it this is my thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so, but what we're talking about. If you're just joining us over the past eight weeks or six weeks, roughly a a few weeks I'll just put it that way A while We've been going through the chapters in the singles blueprint.
Speaker 1:The book that we wrote last year was last year this year, this year and basically focusing on the singles and even some of the behavior and some of the things that you can hopefully empower you with some of the tools and skills that we always talk about on the Rich Relationship Refuge, whether it's the podcast or the other videos. We want to help empower, we want to join a community of like-minded individuals trying to get better at relationships. Man, I cannot believe that, steve. Are you really in Scotland? Come on, man.
Speaker 2:Hey, thanks for joining us in Scotland. Man, what time is it in Scotland.
Speaker 1:Boy, you are dedicated. I appreciate you just jumping on and looking and hanging out with us. Put comments in there, steve, if you have questions, things you want to know why do we do this.
Speaker 2:We do this because we realize that, after working with couples for 19 years, we work with engaged couples, you work with married couples but we realize why not be proactive? Why wait until someone is already engaged to start talking to them about marriage? So what we're trying to do is we're trying to be proactive and help the people in our community and the people in our world and around the world have an understanding of what a realistic understanding of what healthy, god-honoring, fulfilling relationships look like. And so we're right now going through the singles blueprint. But, as you mentioned, we have another book. It's called our marital code to oneness. We wrote it during the pandemic with 21 other couples and we created the workbook, and so we're going to go through the workbook for the couples next, and I just want to encourage you all.
Speaker 2:I know that right now, everybody like wants us to come in february and do love stuff and talk about relationships, but unfortunately, most couples by january if they have already struggled all year, they're getting a divorce in january. So we want to be proactive and encourage you that if you feel like you're at the end of your rope, please do something different. Join us, reach out to us, become a part of our community. We have over 1600 videos on youtube to kind of answer some of your questions and if it doesn't answer it, put the questions in the comments in the feed and we will answer them.
Speaker 1:So we're actually going to be talking about commitment or engagement.
Speaker 2:Which one comes first?
Speaker 1:Well, that's what we're going to talk about. Actually, when you think about what the word commitment and engagement are, sometimes people make the two synonymous. They make them two. They're exactly the same. But in the context of relationships you think about when you go forward towards an engagement, there's some things that should have already happened long before you got the ring and you came up with the perfect color scheme and you knew who's going to be in the wedding before you start planning it and all those things and that's what the chapter in the book is talking about is knowing the difference between the two.
Speaker 1:So we're going to start out talking about commitment and engagement and as you listen to these things, you tell us which one do you think comes first.
Speaker 2:You know, and we're already going to say well, I think commitment comes way before well, and if you think about it, it would have to, because if I engage, get engaged to someone I'm not committed to you know people do that.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening. Thank you for your investment in time. Remember to subscribe to the show and hit the notification icon to be notified when new episodes are posted on the podcast platform that you're listening from, or you can always find us on our website at richrelationshipsuscom, or our YouTube channel, rich Relationships with Gil Renee.
Speaker 2:If you found this podcast helpful or you think it could help someone that you know and care about, please pass it along and share it with them.