Fare of the Free Child

Ep 245: P for Pain Points: What’s hurting you? What’s hurting them?

March 31, 2022 Akilah S. Richards Season 8 Episode 245
Fare of the Free Child
Ep 245: P for Pain Points: What’s hurting you? What’s hurting them?
Show Notes

It’s storytime #fofcpod fam and we‘re so excited to continue with this 70-day PAUSE journey along with the amazing Domari Dickinson of Positive and Purposeful Parenting.

Ep 245 is live! We’re listening and taking a look at the skills that are happening in between the defined things. In this episode in particular, we are observing the ways we react to our pain points, so breathe in, breathe out, pull out your pause pad, take some notes, and let’s play together! Remember that we’re in the process of noticing what sometimes can’t be easily named nor understood, so try to feel into the experiences that you have with these questions, without expectations, without judgment, only your attention.

**Use this link to join our live audience (no video, just chat, unless you ask to join us on air in the chat) on Monday, April 4th at 2PM Eastern.** These every-other-weekly listening parties are where Domari and Akilah invite you to play and struggle through specific aspects of pausewerk with them, real time. Listen to Episode 244:There is Real Power in the Pause tho! to hear details on the flow of this season’s 70-day pausewerk focus.

Today is P day and we’ll work through all the pain points: What’s the matter? What took you here? What things feel like pain, discomfort, uncertainty? What is coming up for you and for the people that you’re closest to right now?”

Domari pulled a card from the Raising Free People practice deck.

Layers: If I could access grace in this moment, I may choose to offer it in honor of all the many layers that comprise this person I love. And if I do, might that be enough for me, for now?

The Raising Free People Card Deck is available now, click here to order it.

“What would change in my life if I chose to pursue pleasure instead of perfection? - Domari

Domari shares her experience with her children on how they respond when a conflict appears. Akilah talks about the struggles and worries that may show up for parents around how and whether learning is happening, and how pausing can offer the space we often need to learn how to recognize and trust learning.

“I’ve now started to look at my children’s resistance as one of their gifts. One of the things that society—which I am part of—didn’t pry out of their hands.” - Akilah

Akilah speaks about Marley and Sage’s approaches to resolving conflicts, and how much she is learning from their approaches. Both hosts also speak about the nuances of the term “readiness,” and the role of resistance as a powerful gift in our efforts to raise free people.

Throughout Akilah and Domari’s convo there are 10 points of Madd Question Askin’ energy for you to get into:

  • What brings you pleasure?
  • What does pleasure look and feel like to you?
  • How would you define pleasure for you right now? Is it fluid? Does it need to be static?
  • What is pleasure connected to in terms of how I feel I am viewed or perceived?
  • How does that impact my idea of pleasure?
  • What is pleasure connected to in terms of how I feel I am viewed or perceived or who’s looking at me or who I perform for?
  • What’s hurting me? What’s hurting them?”
  • How do I accept now that they are ready?
  • What does it mean for me to take the space to think about what readiness feels like? And how do I begin now to prepare myself?

Check out our full show notes at

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