Take A Nap And Stop Accusing Everyone

Your mind can tell a convincing lie: you’re alone, you’re unseen, you’re on your own to carry the grief, the anger, and the ache. We start by naming how a day can be both beautiful and painful, then we lean into God’s promise from Isaiah to comfort us like a mother comforts her child and the “refamily” Jesus creates at the cross when he gives Mary and John to one another. If you’ve ever felt like an orphan in the middle of your own life, this message is for you.

From there we open John 14 and slow down on “If you love me, obey my commandments.” We talk about why this is not an if-then threat, but a love-first reality: when we know we’re already held in God’s love, loving God and loving our neighbor becomes the natural fruit. We also explore the Holy Spirit as Advocate, Helper, and Teacher who never leaves, and why Eastertide is an invitation into real transformation, not self-improvement. Repentance becomes metanoia: changing the way we think, sometimes with nothing less than resurrection power.

Then we get practical and honest about the patterns that steal unity, especially accusation. The storm story exposes how fear turns into “Don’t you even care?” and we trace that same voice into parenting, marriage, driving, work, and the harsh inner critic. We end with a grounded practice: take a beat, ask the Holy Spirit to change your perspective, and bring big feelings to the One who can actually hold them. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it.

Transcript

Comfort For A Complicated Day

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the First Love Church podcast. This is a collection of Sunday teachings inspired by the revised Common Lectionary and recorded weekly in Ocala, Florida. What a joy it is to be with you this morning in the house of the Lord. Again, I remind you from the prophet Isaiah, where God says to us, like a mother comforts her child, so I will come to you and I will comfort you. So whatever situation you find yourself in this morning, we have a God who will come to us and comfort us like a mother comforts her child. And so I'm so grateful this morning again. Thomas mentioned it, and it I think it's really important that we remember that this is a complicated day, as all days are, because maybe you're missing your mother. And maybe you recognize you miss the idea of a mother that you never had. Maybe you're missing your own children or your grandmother, or you just feel this incredible ache. And so I offer to you what Jesus offered to you. When Jesus, in his greatest agony, was on the cross, and John, his beloved friend, was there. And I am confident that you cannot see your friend in agony without being torn apart. And he looked at John and said, John, behold your mother. Mother, behold your son. There's a gift that Jesus gives us that is the refamily that he is offering us, that no matter where you find yourself, you are welcomed in the family of God. And that there is a mother, Jesus' mother, and the mother that we are that will welcome you and say, You can bring your pain here. You're safe here. And there is a comfort of the Holy Spirit among us. This morning we go to the text, and in our text, we take up where we were last week. And I love sometimes that the lectionary allows us to do things weeks at a time. Sometimes we jump around, but this particular week is together. And so we start in verse 15 this week. We ended last week in 14. If you love me, obey my commandments. Whoopsie Daisy. Yes. If you love me. And and I so I think that if we're not mindful, we look at this and it becomes an if-then statement. But it is really an understanding that you can obey the commandments when you know how much you're loved. When you understand that you are in the beloved, when you understand how much love has already been given to you, then it's not hard to do the things that Jesus told us to do. And there's just two of them. I love this about Jesus, the simplicity. Religion sometimes offers us a lot of rules. And Jesus said, I'm going to narrow it down to two. You're going to love God and you're going to love your neighbor as yourself. That's it. And if you love God, then that's what you'll be doing. That's what it looks like. And I think that this is so beautiful, too, because there are many people that say that they love God, and Jesus said, There's going to be a day when the sheep are divided from the goat. And when Jesus said that there is going to be a day of reckoning for every person. And Jesus is going to say, Here's how it works. Did you take care of the hungry? Did you clothe those who were naked? Did you take care of those who were those who were in prison? And the people will say, When did we see you hungry? And when did we see you in prison? And when did we see you needing something? And Jesus says, Whatever you have done to the least of these, my brethren, you have done it to me. And so loving each other has always been the hallmark of the Christian faith, has always been the hallmark of those of us who follow Jesus. But this morning, if you hear any words this morning that should inspire us and encourage us, loving God means loving our neighbor.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

You know, and I think that we really, really need to kind of settle on the definition for us to really understand what that is to love God or what love really is. Um, when we had just uh all those years ago, I had just brought in Thomas home from the hospital there in Tulso, Oklahoma. Um there was uh probably the very first night we had a little crib in the little room next door in our little tiny apartment. And uh the baby cried in the middle of the night, and Heather had been, you know, just giving birth and doing all the things and finally fell asleep and the baby cried. She looked at me and said, uh, would you go get the baby? And I said to her, I would gladly pull my teeth out with the pliers and give you those teeth rather than get up and get that baby. And so she didn't say another thing, she just got up and got the baby. And and what I what I saw was the difference between somebody who was selfish and somebody who was selfless. Maybe it's not clear in the story which one am I and which one is Heather. So uh when when we see that that we continually make choices for ourselves, we're not we're not demonstrating, we're not loving, we're not loving, we're selfish. We're we we might say we love people, but we we we find people to be convenient. You know, I really love you. What I really mean is I love the fact that you get up and get the baby. Because that works for my world. But we see the love of a mother who will just continually get up and get that baby. That that she even hears that baby. I didn't even hear the baby cry. I was asleep. She woke me up to tell me the baby was crying, and so I'm learning how to love. That's why the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives, it doesn't instruct little wives to love their husbands. Because you're gonna do that already, women. It's us that need to figure this thing out. And uh, and so for us to really understand God's love, it is that selfless. And when we love that way, we will obey God's commandments. When we because the selfishness, no, I just want forgiveness. I want I want to get out of hell free card. I just want a blessing. That's why I came to God. Or or do we allow ourselves to understand and and become lovers of one another, of God. And so I really kind of want to think about that definition. What is love? You know, when you love something, you know, you love your truck. Why? Because the AC blows cold and it gets you around everywhere, you know? You don't love your truck. We love our children, we love, you know, those that can't serve us back. That was when we see love. Am I making any sense? Trying to help us get a little focus here this morning.

The Advocate Who Never Leaves

SPEAKER_01 7:23

I was tired this morning that night when you offered that. I was exhausted, had had the baby the day before. You know, they did that back then. They threw you out in 23 hours. I mean, that was essential. And so that was very tired. And then Dennis said he would give me, pull out his own eye teeth with appliers and give them to me. And I thought to myself, what am I gonna do with that? That's not helpful. I'll get the baby myself, don't worry about it. Jesus says, if you love me, obey my commandments, and I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate who will never leave you. Beloved, this is the hope of Christ that we have been given the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit will never leave us. This is the invitation that we have to live differently, to remember that no matter what we go through, we are never alone. The Holy Spirit is with us.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

And I and I just want us to be reminded of then the advocate, the teacher, the helper to transform the heart of someone that doesn't quite understand love or really doesn't, haven't hasn't really surrendered, that Holy Spirit is there to guide and lead us and to be very patient as we work on this process. Sometimes we are so impatient with ourselves and with others, and God is patient that it will take as long as it takes, and God will wait as long as it as God needs to wait to win your heart for us to surrender to love. So let's let's you know answer that call.

Repentance As A New Mind

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Is the Holy Spirit who leads into all truth? Beloved, this is for us such a beautiful, beautiful illustration to remind us that it is the spirit and truth that we are in need of. That is the illumination for us. The world cannot receive him because it isn't looking for him and doesn't recognize him. But you know him because he lives with you now and later will be in you. I will not abandon you as orphans. I will come to you. Very often, when we find ourselves in any distress, our brain offers us this untruth. Our brain says, You're alone in this. No one else feels this. Our brain offers us an untruth. And so Jesus is speaking truth to the untruth that our brain offers us. I will not abandon you. You are not an orphan. I will come to you. This is a promise, beloved. I know people make promises all the time, but this is a promise from the immortal one, from the creator of all things. I will come to you. Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. And since I live, you also will live. One of the reasons that we read this text during the Easter tide is we're reminded that the resurrection of Christ does not only belong to Christ, but it belongs to us. Now that Christ has been raised from the dead, we also will be raised to new life. And it is this hopeful invitation to renew our minds. The scriptures tell us this. This is an invitation to transformation. Your life can be different. How? When we change the way that we think. And changing the way that you think is as easy and as hard as you could imagine. I was talking to somebody on the phone yesterday and they were like, I don't know how to do this. And I said, Sure, you do, just change your mind. And she goes, Well, I don't know how to do that. And sometimes, beloved, we don't know how to change our mind. We have thoughts and beliefs so deeply embedded in who we think we are that actually it will take the power of resurrection to be able to give that, to die to that thought to allow a new one to be raised. And that's the invitation of Easter tide to allow the Holy Spirit to come and to change the way that we think. That is, in fact, what true repentance is. When Jesus said repent, really in the in the original language, it means this change the way that you think. Change the way that you think, and things have a completely different perspective. There is a miracle happening for you just in changing the way that you think.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

And I think it's for us to be open to seeing, because he's saying, you know, in a while I will no longer be, but you will see me. And, you know, you can see Christ in in the way others act. Your spirit can recognize it. And it's a great witness to me when I see uh certain people act Christ like I'm just I desire that. Oh Lord, I'm seeing that. You're showing me a path. You're showing me a pattern. Uh, oftentimes, uh, if I'm listening, the Lord will tell me how to better love my spouse and my children. It's amazing how I've I'm recognizing patterns I've had that have handed to me from my family of origin, and and God is telling me to do the contrary. And I'll and I'll do these things, and and uh, and Heather will go, I noticed that. And I'm not doing it so she'll notice him, but it does feel real good. You know, and and Christ is revealing Christ's self to me, and I can see Christ in you, and it's awesome because I I can be inspired by that, and I can recognize wow, that's the Spirit of God that I even saw that. And that's hope for me. Do you ever see somebody that can handle a situation way better than you? And there's two ways we can look at that. Well, that's just them, and that's oftentimes what our mind says they can do that, which you sure can't. Or I can say, wait a minute, God's showing me a past, God's showing me Christ. I can have that very same thing in the middle of a storm. I can lay down on a pillow and be unafraid. What?

Accusation Breaks Oneness

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Since you brought that particular account up, in the Gospels, Mark tells us that Jesus went to take a nap. And beloved, a lot of things could be changed for our world if we would just rest more. I think we're just wound up. Take a nap. I'm just serious. If if we could just rest in our beloved, here's the beauty of the Sabbath rest. But Jesus went to take a nap. And again, in following Jesus, we need to pay attention to our own bodies that tell us, I need to take a rest. And then it says that he took a cushion. I love that part of the story, tiny detail. Because if you're gonna sleep, do it comfortably. At least try to borrow a cushion, do something, find yourself and sleep. And then the disciple, Jesus is sleeping, he's resting, and the disciples come and wake him up and say, Okay, aren't you worried that we're gonna perish? Aren't you worried? And so the people around Jesus bring to him a bunch of worry and say, Aren't you gonna worry like we're worrying? Aren't you gonna be frantic? Aren't you gonna match our intensity? There is a storm. I'm sure Jesus was aware. There's salt spray, you know, the boat is rocking. Aren't you gonna worry like we're gonna worry? And Jesus speaks peace. And so the invitation is to you too. Can you rest in the belovedness? Can you rest in the fact that Jesus said, I will not leave you an orphan, I will come to you. And when I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Jesus shows us this incredible picture of unity, of oneness, of the hope of Christ. But if Jesus went to the Father, then you can also be confident that you are in Christ and that we are in God.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

You know, uh, one of the things that I get out of that story is the accusation. They said, Don't you don't you even care?

SPEAKER_01 15:34

That we're gonna die.

Share And Support The Podcast

SPEAKER_00 15:35

That we're God. You know, I mean, that is so far from who Christ is. But do you see the accusation based on the circumstance? No. You probably never do that. But I want I want you, if maybe you could begin to get some light on how much of your your vocabulary, your conversation is accusation. And so I'm saying on one hand, I want Christ. I want everything that God has for me, but I constantly speak demonic, accusation, wicked. You know, I I thought I'd be a great youth pastor because I was sneaky when I was a kid, and I did all kinds of stuff, and I thought, well, I'll be a great youth pastor because none of them will be able to put anything over on me. But the reality is, all that made me is very uh suspect that they were as sneaky as I was, and their little pure hearts didn't even think of the crazy crud that I was accusing them of. But that accusation runs rampant in parenting, if you're not careful. Accusing them that, and and we're never to bring the voice of the evil one into our home, but the voice of God. And so I think the Bible says to think best, you know, lovely of a good report. Think upon these things. Now, man, I bet you they're out there doing the and we just got with a spew accusation, and then we cry out, God, give me a great relationship with my children. And yet you brought Satan into the whole mix because you're just an accusing nightmare. Come on now, don't shut me down because I'm preaching good. In my marriage relationship, got all kinds of accusation, then I wonder why God isn't flowing freely at my workplace and all these things. We cannot allow accusation to be a part of that. So when we see that in this story, you see how how much that disciple was in error to walk up to Jesus and bring an accusation. And how wrong would it be for me to walk up to you, a child of the living God?

SPEAKER_01 18:03

We pause here for a moment to thank you for joining us today. If you're finding this episode meaningful, would you take a moment to share it with a friend? This podcast is made possible thanks to the generosity of people just like you. If you would like to support the ongoing work of First Love Church and the continued work of our podcast, visit us online at firstlovechurch.org, reminding you to like, follow, and subscribe. Remind us that the accusations that we often practice are not always for other people, they're for ourselves. Very often, the person that you are hardest on, the voice that you are the most negative with is the inner voice. And Jesus is offering us an exchange. You don't have to continue with those negative thoughts. You can choose to hear the voice of the beloved call you their own. You can hear the voice of the spirit that is gentle and tender. You can hear God saying, I forgive you. You can hear yourself saying that there is an invitation to think differently, to change your perspective. Very often we are so confident in the eyes that we have or in the sight that we have. And what Jesus offers us is at another sight, is a sight by the Holy Spirit, an inner witness. And so you can look at something and say, surely we're gonna perish. Don't you even care? Or you can have the sight that Jesus had that said, you know what, my father has a plan, and we are gonna go to the other side. And so the same is true, going, I can see differently. And the invitation is that we would ask the Holy Spirit. I encourage you, during this time of Easter tide, we've been talking about allowing love to have the last word. Oh now I invite you into a further practice. Whatever it is that you see before you make a judgment about it, whether it's good, whether it's bad, whether this is hopeful, whether this is doubtful, before any judgment, I invite you to ask the Holy Spirit and say this. I invite you to change my perspective on this. Because maybe in truth you are seeing exactly as God sees.

unknown 20:18

But maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Maybe you're seeing as your experience has taught you. Maybe you're seeing as 50 years of watching this has taught you. But beloved, we are invited into so much more. We are invited into life in the Holy Spirit.

Hearing The Voice Of Belovedness

SPEAKER_00 20:36

And and just to re-emphasize what you had said about uh um how did you word that? That that we're harder on ourselves. And I think that that's so important. Yeah, that's worse in the mirror than anywhere else. Yeah, and most of the time, if anyone is a, you know, you if people experience you as someone who's has a lot of accusation, oh it's almost always you have way more, you know, the standard that you keep to yourself is just so unrealistic. And so uh so in that same way, if we could stop, take a beat, and say, God, I I I'm I I you know, I seem to have this accusation over these people, uh, and and and let me see it a different way. Could you maybe even say, God, I I have accusations for myself. I have this standard for myself. Could you help me see that a different way? And just kind of really wanted to reemphasize what you said because I thought that was just so golden what you were saying.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

The invitation for all of us, by the power of the Holy Spirit, is that we would learn to discern the voice of the Spirit. There are so many voices in our lives now. I mean, silence is a luxury now, because there is always something around us. And to be able to go into silence. Jesus said, if you want to pray, you want to get to God, then go into your inner closet, go into yourself here in the quiet and listen for the voice of God. But we have to practice that. We have to invite time to be able to say, what does it look like for us to? Discernment. One of the things that teaches us discernment is the fellowship, is the community, is hearing someone else hear the voice of God. And for us to be able to say, what does it mean for us to listen to the voice of our beloved, to the voice of Jesus? I was speaking to someone this past week and they said, You have no idea how guilty I am. And I said, Absolutely not, I do not. And I said, And the fact is, Jesus tells me that you're not guilty, that your sins have been forgiven. The woman caught in the very act of adultery. Jesus said, I do not condemn you. And so if the voice of condemnation is a voice that you hear, it is not the voice of your beloved. And so you can learn to listen to the voice of Jesus. And then you have a choice. Very much like the children of Israel. Whose report will you believe? Are you so comfortable with guilt and with shame that you immediately go to those sounds? Or can you hear the voice of God saying, I have chosen you, you are mine. Your name has been tattooed on my hands. I know the hair on your head. Not because God is great at accounting, which I'm sure God is, but because you have been looked at, you have been seen. And there is an invitation for all of us to recognize that God sees us, God is with us. The Holy Spirit that is given to us not only testifies of Jesus, but testifies to us of who we are. In fact, this verse reminds us since I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Here is the oneness that Jesus is reminding us of. A few chapters later, Jesus is praying and he says, Father, make them one, the same way that you and I are one. And let them know that you love them as much as you love me. Beloved, God loves you the way that God loves Jesus. You are not a second-class citizen. You are loved ultimately by God. And if that can be the truth in your life, then loving enemies is not a big deal. Then loving everyone is not a big deal because we are one in the love that is Christ.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Once uh I I was uh uh fired from a job, and I was honestly before God just completely falsely accused. Uh, everything that I was trying to do was underminded, and the things that I did that were right were overlooked, and the and the things I was accused of doing wrong just simply did not occur. And and I mean you might find that hard to believe, knowing me, but I'm telling you, it it and it was a kick in the stomach. It was the most humiliating thing in my life, not just to be fired in such a manner of embarrassment, but um, but then to be able to have no recourse to say I didn't do these things, and why, why, why are you accusing me, you know? And and I just remember how lonely it felt for those people to stand as a you know a board of people and say, we no longer want you, you're not welcome to be part of us. Go off by yourself, you know, this very isolating thing, and and how how you know the Spirit of God is oneness and unity, you know? And and then on the one hand, I've experienced that and and don't want that for myself, and don't want that for anyone, but yet I will at times just make assumptions. Look at this guy passing me, he's in the real idiot. Why did he learn to drive? And I and and and so I have all these quick judgments, and and so I've successfully fired that guy from his job of driving with very little information. Maybe I don't know that he's on the way to take a family member to the hospital, or maybe I don't know what's going on. You know, maybe I don't know everything like God does, but yet, on the one hand, I know the the pain and isolation of that, but yet so much of my life I cooperate in. Now, again, I'm the only one who ever does this, so stretch your hands out towards me with a weirdo. Or maybe do we all kind of do this? And so we wonder why we're in the circumstance that we're in. And so I just I want us to think about how can we allow God to make us one? You know, uh, and and the oneness of of uh, you know, why would I bring uh uh accusation towards my wife? I've made a covenant to be one with her. And how many in your relationships are we point just because we really want to be right? So let me tell you what you did that was wrong. Let me tell you, I'm gonna go in the, but you, you know, you were wrong on this deal here, you know. And we we need this, the and so we cooperate with accusation, and we wonder why we're never fully walking in oneness, but yet we know the pain of that isolation. So why would we ever risk that with even a stranger? We want to be one with God, and so we're gonna let God make the judgments, and we're gonna be graceful, and that means we'll just, even without a blinker, we let that. Oh, well, he's he's going in anyway. So uh, you know, but I'm not gonna let that ruin my day, right? I'm going to allow myself to surrender to God in these places and not let unity be taken from me, oneness to be taken from me by my own hands and my own decision. Now I know that I'm preaching real good and you're not paying any attention, but that's okay. Okay, you got one over here? All right.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And they, and because they love me, my father will love them and I will love them and reveal myself to each of them. Love reveals God to us. And allowing our eyes to be healed, allowing our ears to be healed, allowing ourselves to be healed, and to be invited into this healing oneness, into belonging, into oneness with Christ, with God. And this is the invitation for the whole world, beloved. This is how we are invited to live our lives at one with all people, with all things.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

I just real quickly, I want to finish my point because I was preaching real good and nobody's paying attention to me. And I feel like nobody's paying attention to me. So I am going to respond to that feeling.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Lord, in your mercy.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Or should I go, wait a minute, I that's accusation. Do you see what I mean? See how easily you're you're I feel a certain way. You didn't make eye contact with me just for that whole time I preach. So you clearly are not listening to me. So here I'm preaching real good, and you're you're not a listener.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Lord, in your mercy.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Now you know I'm giving you a business track. I want you to know that, man, it feels real, doesn't it? When the when those people aren't listening to you or when those people do those things. And so it's we just we're so trained to move into accusation. We have to allow God help us see this differently. And so I'm I'm I'm wanting to listen to what Heather said. Take a beat and ask God, am I seeing this? She was she was just overwhelmed with how great I was preaching. That's really what happened. She had to look away because the power of God was so strong.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Lord have mercy.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Christ have mercy.

Bring Big Feelings To The Spirit

SPEAKER_01 30:15

Lord have mercy. There is mercy for all of us. Sometimes when we have really big feelings, beloved, you need to take a nap and you need a snack. And don't come talk to people until you've eaten and make sure you're not hydrated, and then maybe approach your family. Maybe, but ask the Holy Spirit first. Because sometimes we have really big feelings and then we just pour them out on other people. And we should feel our feelings. There is part of the gift that it is to be a human is to feel deeply. But to allow the spirit to give us self-control, I mean, that is the evidence of the Holy Spirit in someone's life where you can have pain and you don't have to pour it all over someone else. You can bring that pain to Christ. I remember one time Catherine was very tiny and she was taking ballet. And ballet is beautiful, but when tiny people do ballet, it's something else. And I don't know exactly what happened. And she was with the class, and I saw her little foot get hurt, and she didn't move, but I saw it, and I saw her little face, and the whole class was doing it. I thought, well, she's not crying. And should I went on? And then after the little dance, and it wasn't even a recital, after the little dance was was finished, she came running to me and buried her face, like right here, and just started weeping. And I said, Oh my goodness, what can I do? And so I'm hugging her, and I was like, I saw you get hurt. I said, but I didn't see you cry. And I said, The teacher could have helped. And she goes, What could anyone have done for me except for you? And I thought, sometimes that's what it feels like. We have pain and we don't know where to put it. Where is the person that can handle this big feeling that I have? Beloved, it is the Holy Spirit that can handle all the pain that you are feeling. You don't have to say you're not feeling it. You don't have to, you know, dismiss that pain, but being able to take it to the one who can hold it, who can transform it, who can transmute it into something else. Again, we see this in the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who stands at the foot of the cross while the people are murdering her son. And she does not offer anger to them. She offers forgiveness. There is an invitation for all of us to learn by the power of the Holy Spirit how to transmute the energy that somebody gives to you. But there is a hope. And there is a new way of living in Christ. There is a new way of living where all of your feelings are valid, but your expression of them is not always valid. How you tell someone you're in pain might be a different way. And who you take that pain to, very often we so dismiss the pain that is within us that it comes out sideways in other places. And the invitation is to come to the healer, Jesus, who will heal our sins, who will heal those places. Those who accept my commands and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them. My beautiful, hopeful promise. We hope you've enjoyed this week's sermon. If you would like more information about us, visit us online at firstlovechurch.org.