Do NOT Be Anxious about Anything: Navigating Anxiety with Trust and Dependence in Christ

Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of worry, searching for solace? Embark on a journey with me as I navigate the merging paths of theology and psychology to find a haven from anxiety through God Attachment Healing. In this heartfelt discussion, we unravel the wisdom of Philippians 4:6-7, contrasting the Stoic Greek emphasis on reason with the Apostle Paul's counsel to seek peace in prayer and divine providence. As we face the modern tide of anxiety, we delve into scriptural advice for weathering these inner storms, aiming to offer you insights that resonate with your Christian faith. Whether it's managing your reactions to life's trials or redefining your relationship with God, this episode is your guide to anchoring your heart in the tranquility of His presence.

My conversation travels through the Apostle Paul's own quest for peace amidst adversity, illuminating how his unshakable faith can inspire our own journey toward a serene heart and mind. We look at personal strategies for coping with suffering, emphasizing the transformative power of prayer and gratitude. Discover how fostering a secure attachment to God fortifies us against life's challenges, allowing His peace to guard our hearts and minds. Join me as I explore the intimate dance of managing anxiety and nurturing a steadfast trust in God's goodness—even when the waters around us are anything but still.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome back everyone to the God Attachment Healing Podcast. I am excited about introducing this new version or new outline of how the podcast is going to run. I showed in the last episode that I wanted to take a more biblically integrated approach to how I present and discuss attachment and specifically with God Attachment Healing. So we're going to do that today and I would really love to hear your feedback on it so you can comment on the video. You can send an email to SLConnect08 at gmailcom or you can just shoot me a direct message. Either one will work. I just want to hear how you like the new format and I can continue doing that. I think you guys will like it, though as I was preparing for this, I really enjoy kind of the process and what it looks like and how integrating both the biblical aspect, theological aspect and the psychological aspect into this episode. So hope you guys enjoy it. Remember thank you for tuning in. I know that if you're listening now, you may be a new listener If you are hit that subscribe button or follow the podcast, and I'd greatly appreciate that. And don't forget to leave a review.

Speaker 1: 1:24

So today we're going to talk about the anxious attachment style and specifically dealing with this theme that we see in scripture about not being worrisome. And we're going to start here with Philippians, chapter 4, verses 6 to 7. It is a passage that many of us may have been exposed to, maybe know by heart and maybe encountered some levels of conflict when trying to apply that verse to daily life. Because what it's asking us to do is what is counterintuitive to how we respond to stressful situations, which is to become anxious. Right, because our body alerts us and tells us that, hey, this situation that you're about to encounter is unsure, there's a lot of uncertainty here. How do you prepare for this? Are you prepared for it? So it starts to make your body feel, your mind think different things as to whether or not you have the ability to cope with the stressful situation. So let's go ahead and read this verse, or these two verses Philippians 4, verses 6 to 7, it says do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So that very first part of the verse, which is the part that I want to at least introduce the topic with this aspect of do not be anxious about anything. In today's world, where every person, it seems like, is struggling with a level of anxiety that is unmanageable, we have to ask ourselves why. Why are people so anxious today? What makes them anxious? Socially anxious people? There's people who are anxious about exams. There's people who are anxious about driving. There's people who are anxious about interacting with their family. There's a lot of different things that make us anxious Job security, finances, all of these different things and yet, when we come to this passage, it talks about not being anxious about anything. So we're going to explore this a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 3:44

But first of all, I want to give a background of what is happening here. Who is the author and where, or to who are they writing this letter? So, obviously, when we talk about the New Testament, a name that's always going to come up is Paul. He's definitely the author of this letter and he's writing this letter as he's imprisoned in Rome. So that kind of gives us the context behind. Okay, he's telling us not to be anxious. This guy's in prison, paul is in prison and he's telling the people. He's writing this letter to the people of Philippi and he's saying do not be anxious. And we would think to ourselves why aren't you anxious when you're in prison and don't know when you're going to be let out? So he's still on this mission of making sure that the people that he is pastoring receive these letters.

Speaker 1: 4:37

And again, a big part of this that Paul was facing was persecution and imprisonment. He faced many challenges and hardships while spreading the gospel. So he had reasons we would understand that for Paul to experience anxiety. We'd say, okay, we get it, paul. That is definitely an anxiety inducing situation. I don't know how you're telling us to not be anxious. I don't know how you're not being anxious, but that would make me anxious. So we look at Paul's situation and he's facing these hardships as he's spreading the gospel. He's carrying out the mission that Christ has laid before him and he's telling the people that he is ministering to not to be anxious. So that gives us some context about where his mindset is at and how he's approaching the mission that God has placed on his life.

Speaker 1: 5:29

In regards to the culture, it's interesting too, because the background on Greek culture is that they emphasize self-control, reason and individualism. So the Greeks would probably emphasize kind of a similar theme about not letting your anxiety control you. They would talk a lot about this aspect of self-control and stoicism, in a sense, and using your mind, reason, how can you make sense of the situation. That is pretty harsh and it's a very trying time and yet you have to remain under control. But again, paul emphasizes the aspect of not being anxious, but he adds more to it. He says it's not just do not be anxious about anything. So he now gives a different solution. He says by prayer and petition.

Speaker 1: 6:27

In Greek culture the emphasis was on how you think your way through things. They really esteemed how people are able to articulate ideas and how people were able to control and manage their emotions. I've been doing a lot of I don't know if I would say reading, but understanding or trying to understand the way that the Stoics would process different events. We would think that they would say they say don't feel any emotion. It wasn't that they had this really interesting way of looking at it where they would say you can feel the emotion, understand the emotion, identify the emotion, but don't let it control you. Again, this emphasis on you have the ability to control and manage that anxiety. That puts all of the responsibility, in a sense on the person, which is a good thing. At surface level, we see them. We say, okay, that's a good thing that I'm responsible for how I feel and how I manage my anxiety.

Speaker 1: 7:38

When we go back to verse six, here Paul says but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. This is extremely important, again, because you're looking at a culture that appreciates this idea of you need to have everything together. You need to be able to reason your way through this difficult situation and find peace. You need to logically work through this situation that you're experiencing. Paul is giving this other direction, where he's saying you need to depend on God. You need to pray to God and petition to him and be thankful for the things that you have and present your requests to God. He's redirecting their attention not to self, but to God, their Creator, the source of peace and comfort.

Speaker 1: 8:46

Again, one of the things that you'll often find in at least in modern culture, with many supposed pastors is that they will always have a little bit of truth mixed in with this idea of it's all about you. You're the centerpiece of God's world and you are the one who needs to carry these things out. Build yourself up, all of these self-help ideas. They sprinkle in dependence on God, but the emphasis is always on the building yourself up and believing in yourself. Again, this self-help concepts Paul avoids that he really does emphasize for us to fully depend on God during these times of struggle. If we look again at the cultural context here, in a culture that emphasizes self-control, reason, individualism, we know that they get a little bit of it. But they may be questioning this idea of how do I even trust God? Why not just myself? I have a brain, I'm able to logically think through this problem, find a solution and manage my emotions. Why do I need to depend on God? That was part of their error, right? They believed that they were intelligent enough to not have to depend on God.

Speaker 1: 10:15

The Roman rule I remember Philippi was a Roman colony under direct rule from Rome. It operated under Roman authority, which could have affected a lot of their beliefs and their practices. But a lot of things that Paul was teaching the culture was how to think opposite to it, to not keep on thinking the same way that they've been taught. If you can imagine what it's like to change a culture from the way that they believe their whole lives and hear you write a letter and try to redirect the way that people are thinking. The benefit here is that when people receive the Lord Jesus Christ into their heart, is that now they're in duels with the Holy Spirit. So when Paul presents how to manage their anxiety, the Holy Spirit prompts them to move in that direction. So that's a big part of this.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Again, this comes back to this how do we heal in our relationship with God? How can I truly trust God when most of my relationships have made me feel insecure, have made me feel unsafe? My relationship with my parents, how I grew up, everything was always questionable. I'd never felt loved or I felt unvalued or I felt rejected. Whatever the case is, those things lead to an anxious attachment style. So it's natural and I mentioned this in the last podcast episode it's natural for us to associate those same feelings towards God. How can I trust you, god, when all of my life here's what I've experienced? I can assume in many ways that this was difficult for people of that day. How can they trust God?

Speaker 1: 11:57

I was thinking about the Israelites when they were leaving Egypt. They were under rule of Pharaoh, who was basically domineering every area of their lives, but they had food and they had resources. That's the way that they explained. So when Moses takes them out of there, they start to complain and say why do you take us out of a place where we had all of these other things? Now we're going to die here in the desert. But they forget that they were being led by God to the promised land, that he had something better for them. So, again, to change the mentality of a culture that has consumed the beliefs of the authorities that they were under, that's difficult, it's very difficult, but that is exactly what Paul was aiming for. So he says to them don't worry or don't be anxious about anything. In every situation, my prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. So, lord, here's the concerns that I have.

Speaker 1: 13:03

Again, when we're talking about God, attachment, healing, this aspect of prayer has been so powerful, at least in my life and I'm sure, in the life of many others. But I think this past year, past two years, this aspect of prayer, I think, was one of the weaker areas in my life. I know key biblical principles of scripture. I do emphasize a lot of community, I enjoy Christian community, but prayer was hard for me to understand because and this is what I realized afterwards that it put me in a vulnerable position. It forced me to depend on God, and in a good way, not like you have to do this, but I had no other resource.

Speaker 1: 13:46

I had what I often call a Peter moment, if you remember. When Jesus was teaching the crowds, he started getting other followers and disciples and at some point they decided to leave after some of his teachings. And then he asked the disciples you know, will you leave me too? And Peter responds Lord, where would I go? Where would we go? You have the words of eternal life. So I had one of those moments where I've exhausted all of my resources, all of my strength, all of my knowledge. I don't know what else to do. Lord, guide me in this process.

Speaker 1: 14:24

So prayer became such a key part of these last two years where I'm just depending on God and trusting that he is working things out for his good right or for the good of me. And that's been a good, powerful lesson to have, because, as in when you have an anxious attachment, you question whether or not God will meet those promises right, if he's promising something better and I've never seen something better. I'm not saying that I haven't. I'm saying if that was your experience or that's been your experience, then it's going to be hard to trust that God has something better for you and that, even though a situation is painful, that you can still walk through that pain, trusting in him. Right, so presenting all these requests to God. But the key thing here again, paul explains what we can do and then he says what happens.

Speaker 1: 15:21

So very next verse he says and the peace of God which transcends all understanding. Again, think about that which transcends all understanding. I can't make sense of how I receive the peace of God. It's an interesting part of this verse to think about. It transcends all understanding. Like you could be going through the most difficult situation in your life and yet within that time, in your dependence on God and your connection to him through prayer, through community, through his word, you have this peace.

Speaker 1: 15:59

And it doesn't make sense to other people, specifically nonbelievers, right? How do you have this peace when you're going through this? And this is the same question that we have, and probably the people from Philippi had that how is Paul talking to us about peace when he's imprisoned and how is he saying not to be anxious about anything? So you can imagine the cognitive dissonance that they'd experienced, because they're seeing who's writing to them and the situation that they're in and they're confused in a way right, and this is how we respond to it.

Speaker 1: 16:37

When we see someone who's going through something difficult and they're saying that they're depending on God and that they have this peace, it doesn't fully make sense to us, but we know, as Christians, that it is doable. It is something that God gives to us as his children, for those who have accepted Christ, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding and here's what that does will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So what does that mean? So if what he was doing this is Paul, what he was doing was spreading the gospel, right, it can be very easy to see all of these trials, all of these tribulations, all of these different difficult circumstances and make him waver in his faith and his belief about Jesus.

Speaker 1: 17:27

Is it really worth it for me to be risking my life, to be in prison, to be beaten, all of these things? Is it really worth it to do all of this? I mean, that's a question that we would even ask in our own situation, like Lord. Is it really worth it for me to go through this difficult situation? And you're asking me to express the fruits of the Spirit. I know you live in me, but it's so hard because there's this war of flesh and the Spirit and sometimes it's hard to develop these fruits of the Spirit that you develop in us.

Speaker 1: 18:05

I don't know if it's worth it, like kind of asking these questions. Right, you're asking these questions about your faith, but this peace that God gives us guards us against believing that God is not trustworthy. Right Will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, because we're talking about every situation In every situation. Do not be anxious, right, because anxiety produces in us doubts, doubts about the present, doubts about the future. And who's in control of the present and who's in control of the future? God is. But once we understand that, and even though things look bleak and dark and impossible right now, that I trust God's character, because he is good, that he does have something better, and believing in that right, presenting those concerns and those requests to God, believing in the character that he's consistently demonstrated throughout time, I can trust that he will be providing. Whatever it is that I need, right, it may not look the way that I want it to look.

Speaker 1: 19:16

I don't think Paul imagined that he would be writing letters from jail. You know, I don't, I don't know, but when you serve Christ, he was ready to take on whatever would come his way, because he also had a past right where he persecuted Christians. So, you know, every once in a while I'll think about and I think I've talked about this with a couple of friends just the idea of I wonder if Paul ever dealt with shame and guilt from from his past, because obviously he he persecuted Christians. And it's just something interesting to think about because in Romans 8 1 he talks about there's therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So there's this understanding that he's also gaining, you know, as he grows closer to Christ. Yeah, you know this shame that I've been carrying for all these years. Why am I still carrying it when God has forgiven me of that Right and this continual cleansing right? Where you're you're, you're in the process of sanctification, where God is shaping you and molding you into Christ's image?

Speaker 1: 20:30

So when we're able to bring our anxieties and concerns to God, he is able to work in our lives and and provide a security and a peace that maybe sometimes we don't even understand, like how, how do I feel this way, this calm, in this difficult situation and it's not always like that, by the way. You know there's this aspect of our humanity which speaks to that. I can feel peace some days and then other days I don't feel as peaceful, but in general I have this overall peace that God is present and that he is good and that he does have something in store and better for for us. When you're going through a difficult situation, there's this sense of trust that we start to develop in Christ because we're seeing him act and move things in a certain direction and drawing us closer to him, because that's his goal to draw us closer to him. Right? So if you can think about now that how different attack and styles may respond to difficult situations today we're just talking about the anxious attachment style, but a secure attachment style would look at the situation and accept it and understand it and then start to Pour into those three areas that I've been repeating and I'm going to keep on repeating them right, prayer, god's word, christian community, like those three things start to give you an overall understanding of how God relates to us.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Right, there are people in your life that God has used to meet certain needs that you have, and if you're not Looking for that, you're gonna miss it. So when it talks about that the peace of God you got to be looking for it. Where is the peace of God here? And you have people that are meeting your needs and you have people who are checking in on you, and you have all of these different things going on in your life and those are ways in which God is trying to protect us and is Meeting the needs that we actually have, not the things that we want, though. He may give us sometimes what we want, but he wants to provide us with things that draws closer to him, and oftentimes that is.

Speaker 1: 22:51

Suffering, suffering, pushes us to our comfort zone. Whatever that is, sometimes it's a good thing. If it's God, it's a good thing. Anything else can be a bad thing, and what I mean by that is that we don't all cope in healthy ways when we're going through struggles and tribulations. So what is that thing for you think about? What do you turn to when you're suffering? What, what do you get involved in?

Speaker 1: 23:14

For me, it tends to be just to be busy, right, and it's not avoidance. I think I've processed that to a point where I'm not avoiding things. It's just when I do have pre-time, I try to fill it with something. Now I'm trying to find times of relaxing and then I have to have my time with the Lord at some point throughout the day and I have to find it. You have to make time for that, wherever that is. It can be in the morning, can be a night, in the Middle of the day. For me it's when I can get that in the day. Sometimes it is in the morning, sometimes it's at night, sometimes it's the middle of the day. Whatever it is, I just know that if I don't seek that out, it's going to affect how I feel in my anxiety, in my relationship with God, but usually it's more secure, especially this past year where it's really been shaping my trust in God. So where are you in regards to all of this? How is your attachment style to God?

Speaker 1: 24:13

Here are some some tips that I want to provide and how you can manage your anxiety in your relationship with God. So one of them is understanding how do you relate to God? Right, how do you relate to God? How do you see him? Do you see him as distance, harsh, uninvolved, not dependable, like how do you see God? Like, just be really honest about what it is that you currently feel, and then you can Kind of trace back into your history why you feel that way. Right, so you may have a history of, you know, uncertain and Unclear relationships that you don't know really where you stand. There was always questions about, well, am I really wanted, or not, all of these things? And then same thing with your parents, like that, were they able to meet my needs? So does that mean is that why I can't trust God to meet my needs? So, explore that, explore that history.

Speaker 1: 25:07

Okay, if you're secure, again, what it's gonna look like is that you can feel anxious, but you can have that peace of understanding. You know this is not a good situation. I hate that I'm going through this, but I know that God is good and I know that he loves me and I know that he's going to Shate this out in a way that brings honor to him. All right, so that would be kind of a secure response to that, and anxious attachment style will look at a situation. Say, I got to do. I got to do something to fix this, I got to find a way to make this work. You know, I need God to be content with how I Process this and I need to do it right and I need to make sure that it's done this way, in that way like there's this overperformance that kicks into gear so that we can please God. And pleasing God is not the issue, it's what is driving that desire to please God, its anxiety, right. So the anxious needs to learn how to Let go of that control, right, and kind of just take a step back like I'm trying to control everything. How can I just wait and see how God responds to this? Okay, the avoidant is obviously gonna do things on his own. He's not even gonna think about God because God is not dependable. Again, people in their lives were not dependable, so I'm gonna find a way to fix this. No one's gonna bother me, I'll find a way. Right, this, this hyper dependence on self. So they'll hit something that where they won't be able to manage it and maybe that can push them back in the direction towards God. I need God in this moment, right? So, again, different styles, understanding your attachment style to God is one, one part of managing your anxiety.

Speaker 1: 26:49

The second thing is to practice prayer and Thankfulness. Okay, practice prayer and thankfulness. Pray Whenever you have a. You know, for me I always think about it this way If I'm having a conversation or if I have a concern in my mind, I start talking to God in that moment. When I'm not engaging with someone else, and sometimes even when I am engaging with someone else, I'm processing, I'm thinking through things in my Lord. You know, give me wisdom here. How do I discern this? Is this person being truthful? How do I manage this situation over here? All right, so I'm talking to God about all of these things. So that's an aspect of prayer, right, it's communicating with God, okay, and then allow for God also to communicate to you through his word. So practice prayer, practice thankfulness.

Speaker 1: 27:33

That's been a big one, because Sometimes I think we look at our lives and we only look at the things that are negative and it's hard to be thankful for that. Right, like, even with suffering. I've often thought about it. Where should I be thankful for suffering? Like, should I be thankful that I'm going through the situation? Should you be thankful for the trials and tribulations that you're experiencing? I don't know. I don't know if you'd be. Think if you should be thankful for that specifically, I Think what you end up doing, or what we end up doing, is being thankful that God is still good, like I can be thankful for that, that God has remained true to his character. I can be thankful for that. I Can be thankful for the blessings that I received in my life up until that point. I Can be thankful for that, because that is life. Life has its ups, it has its downs. Ups and downs all throughout life. Right it almost for the anxious attachment purse. Actually, one of their main concerns is that when things are going good, their body and their minds already prepares for oh, something, something's gonna happen. I don't know why, but I'm feeling like something's gonna happen pretty soon. And then when it happens, kind of like it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's very interesting. But this, this idea of when do I, what am I, should I be thankful for? I'd be thankful for the blessings that God has provided for you in your life and look From, put right down a list of the things that you're grateful for, right, and remind yourself of those things.

Speaker 1: 29:11

I was listening to a man on social media speak and he he gave a really good illustration which I wanted to use and I will be using Often, but he he's talking with this guy doing this interview and he says, okay, look, look around the room and I want you to find something that is Red. So he looks around the room and he finds, okay, I find a couple of things that are read, okay. And then he tells him okay, go ahead, close your eyes. The guy closes his eyes and he says, tell me what did you find that was blue. And he's like he didn't know what to say because he wasn't looking for blue, right. And then he said, okay, open your eyes Now, look for things that are blue. And he looks for things that are blue, right, and he's looking, okay. So he finds me. So, close your eyes, tell me something that was yellow.

Speaker 1: 30:02

And the guy couldn't make out, because you're going to find what you're looking for, right, and in the same way with life, if you're only looking for the bad things, then that's all you're going to find. If you're looking for the blessings and where God has been present, then those are the things that you're going to find. Focus on it. So I think that's an aspect of thankfulness, right, be thankful for those moments when God has been, has blessed you, right, and even in that moment of suffering, you can be thankful that God is present there with you, that God is walking alongside you as you're suffering, that he is there with you. Sure, that's what the apostle Paul felt, even as he was in prison that Jesus was with him, right, and he was inspired by the Holy Spirit to write this letter to the Christians there in Philippi. Right? Two more things here Honesty and vulnerability.

Speaker 1: 30:56

Okay, this building a deeper relationship with God through honesty and vulnerability Like share with God how you actually feel he's able to understand what you're going through. It's not like you're going to surprise him with what you're going through. Like we feel real emotions, real confusion, real anger, real bitterness, real doubts, like we experience all that. Why not share that with God, right? Well, I don't want God to know that he knows those things already. You know, it's not something that we're going to really hide from him and it's very freeing. You know, lord, I'm just frustrated. I just don't get this. I don't get how this is work. I don't know what you're doing, but I want to trust you. Teach me how to trust you, right, so that honesty and vulnerability with the Lord can make draws closer to him because he's willing and able to receive that and then comfort us with his word.

Speaker 1: 31:49

And then, lastly, letting go of past attachment wounds. Okay, there are a lot of people and oftentimes you know, if you're a Christian, there are going to be people who are Christian or who call themselves Christian, who may have hurt you throughout your life. And those people who have hurt you, we may associate that pain with God, allowing that to happen or presenting that those people, in our eyes too, make that happen, right, and we'll blame God for those situations and for those people. And why did you allow that to happen? You know it was really close to them. And then they hurt me. And here's this other relationship and that hurt me and you know, lord, everyone always hurts me, right? And when you develop, this narrative of everything associated with God is going to lead to a wound of some sort, right? And then, when you're going through suffering, it becomes even more real. See, lord, I told you it's going to be. You know, I told you it's going to be this another wound just to add to the list.

Speaker 1: 32:45

But letting go of those past attachment wounds is key. Now, remember, this process of letting go doesn't mean to forget, it doesn't mean to that it's just going to happen in one day, two days a week. Whatever the case is, it's not going to be like letting go of past attachment. Past attachment, wounds means forgiving other people for the hurt that they've caused. That's what it means.

Speaker 1: 33:07

And forgiveness one of the professors here at Liberty, dr Kim. He does a lot of research on forgiveness and he talks about it as it's not one and done. It's not like you say I forgive this person and that's it Right, because you're still as a human, you still have memories, you still have things that you're going to start thinking about. You're like, oh, that gives me mad, but again, you choose to forgive. You choose to forgive and that is so important as you're trying to develop a secure attachment with God, because those past wounds, especially if they were Christian, it's going to naturally cause you to associate that to God.

Speaker 1: 33:45

And yet we can also distinguish and separate God's character, and we should be able to distinguish God's character from the actions of other people. God is good. Everything that he does is good, every intention towards us is good, even in the midst of suffering. And that is what we learn here from Paul when he's talking about not being anxious about anything. Right, that, that peace that God is going to give us as we pray to him, petition them, be thankful for things in our lives and make our requests known to him that he will give us a piece that will protect our understanding of who Christ is and our minds, because our minds can trick us right, Especially when you have an anxious attachment like you, can make you think all sorts of things, but this dependence guards our hearts against believing the opposite of who God is. So as we wrap up here and think about you know, how does this apply to my life? Again, just choosing these verses and expanding on what does it actually mean if we're trying to heal in our relationship with God?

Speaker 1: 35:00

And I hope that this new format that you liked it again. If you did like it, please let me know, shoot me an email, a direct message, comment on the video. I really do want to hear from you guys and see how you guys felt about this new format, and I'm going to continue to do this. I think this is episode 76 and all the way up to 100. We're going to get there and I'm excited about that too. So hopefully this was a blessing. Thank you for listening and I will see you next week. Take care, guys.