Anxious? Or Anxiously Attached?

Your anxiety isn’t random noise; it’s an alarm. The real question is what it’s warning you about. We explore the line between general anxiety and anxious attachment, showing how one spreads across life’s domains while the other flares when intimacy gets close enough to test old maps. With clear definitions of GAD, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and panic attacks, we lay out where these experiences overlap and where they diverge, so you can stop guessing and start noticing patterns.

From there, we dig into the heart of anxious attachment: a positive view of others paired with a shaky view of self, born from inconsistent caregiving and sustained by protest behaviors that seek closeness through urgency. You’ll learn how to read rupture and repair as the most reliable evidence of a relationship’s stability, and how to build a personal toolkit that actually works under stress—breath practices, grounding, prayer, and co‑regulation with secure people who help your body feel safe again.

We also bring faith into the conversation without shaming your story. Many of us project human patterns onto God, but security with God can transform how we handle triggers with people. When you treat God as a true secure base—returning in prayer, anchoring in Scripture, and seeking wise counsel—the alarm shifts from panic to guidance. By pairing nervous system skills with honest relationship audits, you can become more secure over time, even if anxiety still visits.

Ready to tell whether it’s anxiety in general or an attachment alarm? Press play, take notes on your own rupture‑repair history, and share this with someone who needs language for what they feel. If this helped, subscribe, leave a 5‑star review, and tell us: what evidence of repair do you look for?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back + Big Announcement
• 1:58 Defining Anxiety As An Alarm System
• 4:21 Everyday Signs Of Anxiety
• 5:01 Mapping Anxiety Disorders
• 10:11 Separation Anxiety Across The Lifespan
• 13:19 Social Anxiety And Fear Of Judgment
• 16:48 Panic And Generalized Anxiety
• 19:01 What Anxious Attachment Really Is
• 23:11 Rupture And Repair As Evidence
• 26:16 Calming The Nervous System In Practice
• 29:04 Co‑Regulation And Partner Fit
• 32:12 How Close Bonds Activate Attachment
• 35:02 Faith, God, And Secure Base

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:05

Well right everyone, welcome back to the God Attachment Healing Podcast. We are in episode 102 and I am excited about today's topic because I will be discussing and answering the question, am I anxiously attached or am I just an anxious person? So we'll explore that question, define it, we'll talk about different types of anxiety, we'll describe some attachment styles, and basically understand and differentiate between anxiety or being anxious and having an anxious attachment style. So I'm glad that you're here today. Remember always to share the podcast, leave a review. I love hearing from you guys. I don't hear as many, get as many reviews as I would like, so please provide some comments, uh, leave a five-star review if you really like the episodes or or the show, and I would greatly, greatly appreciate that. All right, so there's a lot going on, a lot going on in life. I just actually defended my dissertation about a week ago, and I'm really excited about that. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time, and I've been talking to you guys about this for a very long time, and uh it's done. So the work is done, and now I'm just waiting for the conferral date. Um, but my chair, the committee, when they said those words, we are so happy to call you Dr. Samuel Landa. I was very, very happy and relieved. So I just have a couple of things that I'm wrapping up uh with it, just doing some edits and finishing up a portfolio. And then that's a no more, no more school work after that. I don't I don't I don't even know if I'd consider it schoolwork, but no more anything having to do with school after that. So uh thank you guys for those of you who have been listening and have been supporting the podcast for such a long time. I mean, you really don't know how much I appreciate it. All right, so let's go ahead and jump into today's episode after that big news. Um, yeah, let's talk about anxiety and anxious attachment styles. You know, I was thinking about obviously always looking for new topics to cover with you. And yeah, this one came up as I was leading a group and I started to kind of figure out some things about people who were attending. And one of the questions that popped up for me was, well, what is the difference between being anxious, just in general, and having an anxious attachment style? Because it seems very similar, it looks very similar, it feels very similar in some ways. So, what is the difference? How can I tell if I'm just an anxious person or if I'm anxiously attached? Well, first let's start with the definition for what anxiety actually is. And really, when you think about anxiety, you have to think about um an alarm system. Anxiety tells us that something is wrong, and that can be based on fact or it can be based on what we create in our minds. But basically, it activates when it perceives that there's a threat or uncertainty or potential loss, right? So, with anxiety, when you think about an anxious attachment style, this is really one of the primary fears, the fear of abandonment. So threat, uncertainty, or loss makes total sense to someone who suffers from an anxious attachment style because they fear that they will lose the person that they love or care for, right? When we talk about it in a clinical sense, it involves excessive worry, tension, or fear that is not controllable, right? There's usually physical symptoms like chest pain, muscle tension, racing heart, all of those things characteristics. And that is essentially what would define someone as having anxiety. Uh, what does it look like in everyday life? Well, many times it can be someone who's very irritable, uh, someone who's overthinking, uh, maybe trouble sleeping because they are overthinking. So all of these are characteristics of someone who is anxious. On a daily basis, they feel anxious. And there's this tension, and so they have the physical symptoms, they have cognitive symptoms where they're overthinking, overanalyzing. So that is essentially what anxiety looks like. So, what makes that different then from anxious attachment style? Well, before I jump into talking about anxious attachment styles, I wanted to touch on a couple of different types of anxiety disorders, just so that you're aware of how these all often overlap or how similar they can look. Because what we're really going to find near the end as I explore these disorders with you and talk about the attachment style, you're going to see a lot of overlap. So, hopefully, by the end of today's episode, you'll be able to distinguish between those two. But you're going to find that a lot of times there's just this overlap and a lot of similarities between them. So we'll see if we can help with that. So the first one, first type of disorder, there's separation anxiety disorder, right? This involves inappropriate and excessive fear or anxiety about being away from major attachment figures. So I had a client many, many years ago. It was a child, she was about, I don't know, six, seven years old, and she struggled with this. I mean, this was an extreme case where the child would just lose all control, start to cry, start to scream, and actually uh gripped heavily, strongly to her dad's leg. And she just would not let go. And I mean, it was my first exposure to something that extreme. I mean, I've seen kids cry before, I've seen them throw fits and tantrums, but this was something completely different. And you can imagine the level of anxiety that this child felt from potentially being removed from her primary attachment figure. Um, in this case, it was her her father. So she was really trying to hold on to him before he left the room, and we were gonna do some uh some work there. And one of the things that stood out to me was okay, where does this actually start? Right? When we talk about anxiety disorders, they do start in early childhood. And I wasn't, I only had a couple of sessions with her and with the parents, and I wasn't able to explore as much as I wanted to. But again, a lot of these things in those first two years, right? 18 to 24 months is really where the attachment system is developed, it's shaped, it's where all the brain is making its connections, all the neurons are firing, and they're making these uh maps in your mind of what relationships should look like and feel like. One of the things that it can feel like as an adult, it seems excessive. So even though you're not throwing a tantrum, even though you're not crying and yelling and screaming when you're being separated from your attachment figure, it can feel very much like that. So it's possible that you can have these symptoms. Um, now again, this is mostly related to uh children and adolescents, but it can happen in adults. Okay. Second one is social anxiety disorder or social phobia, and this is characterized by fear or anxiety by one or more social situations in which you may be scrutinized by another person, right? So giving speeches, uh showing going to a party, anything that involves public space or involving other people. Specifically, though, with this disorder, is the fear of being scrutinized or criticized by other people, right? Your performance, right, your ability to connect or not connect in these social settings is what causes the anxiety. It could be just that you're gonna see someone that you don't like and you don't want to deal with that. But again, that fear is so great that it makes you even freeze up a little bit, or again, you're just worried about what they're going to be saying or thinking about you, right? The the real fear is also this fear of being embarrassed or humiliated or even rejected, so much so that you can't take action to do what it is that you need to do. If it's going to, you know, Thanksgiving dinner, which we just had, if it's uh giving a speech, whatever the case is, if it's performance-oriented and you have to socialize in some way, shape, or form, and you fear the judgment of others, that's social anxiety. Now, again, that can show up within an anxious attachment style, but we'll get to that in a little bit. Uh, I was gonna mention panic disorder. Um, again, when people have panic attacks, I don't hear as much of it when they're being separated or they're creating distance from their attachment figure. Again, it could be a romantic relationship, it can be a close friend, it can be a parent. You know, we work with a lot of college students, so it could be when they're being dropped off by their parents, right? No one's gonna go into a panic. It can happen, and maybe it has happened. I haven't had that experience uh with any of my clients, but um, people do have these panic attacks, and usually what you find is a history of panic attacks prior to that time, so that's just something to keep in mind. Lastly, is probably the most common type of anxiety disorder, which is GAD or generalized anxiety disorder, and this is defined by excessive worry and anxiety occurring more days than most for at least six months, and that's very important. Again, most students usually every year that the reports kind of come out a little bit different, where it's always depression and anxiety, those are kind of alternating addictions, is in there as well. But anxiety and depression, those two are usually kind of happening with college students because they're coming into school, they're being, they're not with their families anymore. So it would make sense why that's the most, those are the most common symptoms and you know, yeah, symptoms that they'd be experiencing. So for GAD, you know, you're gonna have this um uh physical symptoms of being fatigued, inability to concentrate, being irritable, tense, and obviously even affecting your your sleep. So this causes significant distress or impairment in school, occupations, or other important areas of functioning, but it's not due to substance use, medical conditions, or another mental disorder. So that's how you kind of isolate GAD from all the other ones. Okay, so again, a lot of these symptoms as we're talking about them, you say, okay, well, I'm experiencing that now. Does that mean that I have an anxious attachment style? Well, no, not yet, right? We don't know for sure yet. But hopefully, I'm gonna describe here the anxious attachment style, which I've done many times before. So you probably have a good idea of what your attachment style is. Today I'm just focusing on the anxious attachment style. So if you haven't avoidant, I'll talk about that in the next couple of weeks. But what is an anxious attachment style, right? We know, as we've been discussing throughout this uh podcast for many months, many years, that really what you look at when it comes to attachment styles is how you view yourself and how you view others, positively or negatively. So, a secure person, because they have their needs met by their primary caregivers, they're able to see people in a positive way as they're able to meet my needs, and they're able to see themselves as worthy of being loved and cared for because that was that's exactly what was happening. So they develop a secure attachment style. For the one who is anxious, they tend to view the other other people in a positive light and view themselves in a negative light. And this is usually due to not having their needs met consistently. It happens sporadically. Sometimes they were met, sometimes they were not, or sometimes there were long uh times where those needs were being met and something happened in their parents' lives where they had a cut back or they just completely weren't able to do it, and then they try to catch up again. So it's this back and forth, this level of uncertainty about whether or not their needs are going to be met, right? So if their needs were met sometimes, there's like this hope, this desire, like, okay, my needs can be met. And then they go through other times where they weren't met, and it's like, wait, what's happened? What changed? Did I do something wrong? Is the what happened to the person? So what happens to this person who grows up is that they start to think that it's more about them, that they did something wrong, or that there must be something wrong with them. There's a lot of questions that they have about their own worth because it can't be, in their minds, they think it can't be the people that love me that have the problem. So it must be me, right? This is the thinking of an anxious attachment style. Essentially, the questions that they're asking are Am I worthy of being loved and cared for? And are others trustworthy and dependable and able to meet my needs? Okay. So they're gonna have these questions. So these are the questions that they ask in close relationships, right? Most of us do a pretty good job of being able to be there for each other at a surface level, right? Um, so you don't really see the attachment system get activated until you start to get close with people. So that's why I often discuss romantic relationships because you in a way are forced, not forced, that's the wrong word to say, but in a way you have to start sharing and being vulnerable with another person to see how they respond to what you're sharing, right? And it's either gonna make you feel cared for and nurtured and wanted, or it's not, it's gonna make you feel uh a little uncertain, a little anxious about how are they actually responding to what I'm sharing with them, right? But the overall or the general feeling for an anxious attachment style is that they have a positive view of others and negative view of self. They seek closeness with others so much so, but they do so to seek in uh reassurance. Excuse me. They want constant reassurance, they need that, right? Because if your needs weren't consistently met when you were younger, anytime there's a uh disruption within the relationship, a rupture, as I would discuss earlier, um, when there's a rupture in the relationship, there's questions that start to come up for the anxious attachment songs, start saying, Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said? What happened at work, right? There's all these questions that they'll start to ask to figure out why it is that their needs are not being met in that moment. And this question of, is it am I worthy of being loved and cared for starts be to become more real for them, right? They start to doubt their own self-worth. So what happens is that there's this signal that goes off that says, I'm feeling distressed. I have to figure out what's the cause of that distress. So they amplify the distress to get a response. And what can this look like? This can be uh becoming very pushy and clingy in a way, like wanting to hold on to the person because they fear that they're gonna leave or that they're gonna disconnect from them or that they're gonna pull away, right? So they amplify that distress signal by wanting to talk it out and wanting to figure things out. When the other person might not have done anything, it was just the interpretation of a situation or events that the anxious attached person starts to create in their own mind. Now, it's important, and I've tried to make emphasis of this, that we not delegitimize what they're feeling and what they're experiencing, they're thinking that way because of how their needs were or were not met when they were younger. So it can feel very overwhelming for the other person, the friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, the parent, the child. It can be feel very overwhelming for them. So I want to, if you're not the one who has the anxious attachment style, I want you to just see that there's a reason for why they are behaving that way. For those of you who are listening and are anxiously attached, I want you to also see yourself and just understand that that just tells you something about how your needs were met. So you have to operate a little bit differently when you're moving into relationships to get those needs met. Because what you're doing by um seeking constant reassurance, by questioning whether or not the person loves you often, it might push them away. Right. So the core fear here is that you're gonna be abandoned. And the only way to kind of challenge that is that we look at the history of the relationship, right? Rupture repair. We're gonna go back to that right now. So have there been ruptures in the relationship before? And obviously, if you've had a friend for a long time, it's a relationship with a sibling, a romantic relationship, right? There's I'm certain that there's been uh a rupture at some point in that friendship or relationship. So what you want to look at is okay, there was a rupture. Oh, I remember we had this fight about this particular thing, and then after that, what happened? That's what we're looking for. Was there repair after that rupture? So, yeah, we were able to make up and we talked about it, and it seems like we were both on the same page, but then it happened again and we talked about it and it was feeling better now, right? So if you look at your history and there was ruptures, but there was always repair, then that kind of counters the fear of you being abandoned, right? Like the history, or um, as I like to say, the evidence shows that when you've had ruptures, the person hasn't left, right? So you got to challenge the belief that you're gonna be abandoned. I know that your body is gonna feel that though. Your body's gonna feel like, no, but I'm so worried that they're going to leave me at some point. So, two practices that you have to do here. One is calming your nervous system down. And how do you do that? You can do breathing exercises, you can pray, you can get together with a close friend, have you know, a cup of tea, just a relaxing something that can relax your nervous system. And then you can start to challenge those beliefs of being abandoned. Okay, now this takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of practice, but I'm presenting that to you so you can pay attention to and say, okay, I know that I'm an anxious attachment style. I know that sometimes I struggle with anxiety, and I know that I worry about being abandoned. So, what evidence do I have that will not happen moving forward? And that's what you're gonna look at. What's the evidence of the history of that relationship? So you say, Well, Sam, the person has left and then they came back, and now we're doing better, but I fear that they may leave again, right? Again, you really got to take note of what is the actual pattern. If they left once and came back and things have been good since then, then you know that happens sometimes. It's something that you should pay attention to because it does affect your nervous system. But I don't think it means that you need to completely um abandon or leave the relationship in a sense because of how it made you feel that one time. But if that becomes a pattern, if things are really good and there's this big thing that happens an abandonment, things are better now because they came back and apologized, and it happens again, right? They apologize, things are better, and it happens again, right? So that really is the pattern. So to identify these patterns, it does take a lot of time, and you do have to be very intentional about it. Okay. And what I often tell clients is when you're when you're doing your prayers, when you're practicing your breathing exercises, when you're practicing grounding techniques, whatever the case is, um, to regulate your body, do that when you're not feeling anxious. Do that also when you are with the person, right? Because what is what is that gonna do for you? It's gonna tell your body that, or teach your body how to or what it looks like to calm your body down when you're not anxious. So if you practice it enough when you do become anxious, that transition to, all right, I'm breathing in, Lord help me through this. I know that this person's not gonna leave me. I know they love me, I know they care for me. You know, teach me how to trust you throughout this process, right? If you've been doing that leading up to the times where you get anxious, it's gonna be a much smoother transition into that. Your body's gonna recognize what you're trying to do, your mind's gonna recognize what you're trying to do. So you're gonna get there a lot faster, right? Don't try to practice this when you are in the anxious situation, right? Don't wait for that time to come up to then try to practice because your system is already activated. It's ready to go, it's ready to launch, and you're not gonna be able to implement these practices that help your body uh regulate. So it's very important. Now, with attachment styles, one of the things I like to encourage a lot of people who have anxious attachment style is to connect with people who are secure in their attachments, who are secure bases for them, who provide what we call co-regulation, that when you're around them, you feel calmer, right? And that's probably why you like you like them a lot because you feel calmer. Now, the anxious and secure is a common pairing, but it's not as common as the anxious avoidant, right? So with the avoidant, it makes sense why your system would be constantly dysregulated because it's this pursuer-distancer type of relationship, and that does not help you to regulate um and feel good in the relationship. Okay. So one of the main things that I hope you've been able to see is that obviously the other ones, um, the previous disorders had some connection to a relationship, but it was very specific, or um it was just a way that you were feeling in general. With anxious attachment styles, it's how you feel and what you're thinking when you're in close, intimate relationships, right? Where you're vulnerable with another person. Your family knows you and they know a lot of you, uh, a lot of who you are as a person. So there's there's openness there, there's potential hurt that can happen because we, you know, most of us love and care for our families. Now, if you don't, obviously there's reasons behind that. Um, that may be too much to explore right now, but I want to just focus on the anxious attachment style about the questions that it's answering. Am I being am I worthy of being loved and cared for? And then the second one is are others trustworthy and dependable? So not only do I need evidences of me being worthy to someone else, but can I depend on this person to be there for me when I need them? Again, if we go back to the example or the practice that I mentioned earlier, taking notes of what the rupture repair process looks like. If they have always come back and they've tried to repair the relationship and you guys are good, then they can be dependable, right? They can be trustworthy. How are they when you're vulnerable? How do they respond? Do they tune in? And are they able to listen and hear and reflect what you're what you're saying? Can they just be present, right? They're not gonna have all of these various skills that we have as counselors for those of those of us who counsel, but they do have some um good skills to tune into your story and what it is that you're sharing, and that's really what you're wanting. That's how you can develop trust with another person. How do they listen to my story as I'm sharing this stressor? Right? You can learn a lot about people and how they respond to stress, and that's the same for people who are gonna be there for you. When you're under stress, how do they respond to that stress? When you're under stress, how do you respond? What happens internally for you? What have what do you start doing physically? Like what do you do when you're under stress? Right. And there's only gonna be some people who can handle it and others who cannot. So it's up to you to kind of first learn really how to how to regulate yourself, and then once you learn that, then you're gonna be a better fit for those people who you're actually looking to connect with. Again, there's a variety of people that you need in your circle of friends and you need with your family and in relationships to help you co-regulate. Co-regulation is a good thing, right? There you should have people around you who help you regulate. That's that's what the point of co-regulation is two nervous systems communicating to each other. You're safe here. Okay. And we all want that. So that is necessary, but also when that person is not there, you should also have the ability to regulate yourself. And everyone does things differently. Some people journal, some people pray, some people read their Bible, um, others connect with a close friend, whatever that is for you, do that so that you can, you know, teach yourself how to regulate. Now, what does this look like then when it comes to our faith? Well, anxious attachment styles are the ones that connect our relationship with God, they're most closely associated in our relationship with God. So how we perceive others is going to then transfer over to how we see God. Now it's been very interesting because this isn't always the case, right? If you have an anxious attachment style, that doesn't mean that you're automatically going to have an anxious God attachment because God may be the one who is fulfilling that need for you when you are anxious. So when your friends looked at you a certain way when you pass by them today and you didn't guess that they were tired, you just thought, oh no, I must have done something wrong because they didn't say hi, or it seemed like they ignored me, or they looked upset at me, whatever the case is. So you turn to God and you say, Lord, did I do something? You know, what's going on here? Right? He can be your go-to source. And if he is, then you could have a secure attachment style, right? Again, how do you respond when you're under stress? Who do you turn to? And if it's to God, then you're gonna try to connect with him through prayer, through reading his word, through connecting with a biblical uh spiritual mentor, right? A pastor, a leader, someone that helps you focus your attention back to Christ. And that is a good relationship, obviously, to have where Jesus is your secure base. So if you have an anxious attachment style with people, that does not necessarily mean that you're gonna have an anxious attachment style with God. A lot of times that is the case, but not all of the times. So hopefully that gives you a perspective of okay, even if I feel anxious with people, how do I feel in my relationship with God? Right? Because I think for the anxious attachment style at least, what they're gonna feel is that they're not good enough, that the Lord may be punishing them through this friendship that is hurting them. Well, I must have done something wrong. And I know I told the Lord that really wanted this relationship, and now I think this person is gonna break up with me. So I must have done something wrong, right? Again, we can transfer that upbringing that we had with our parents or with primary caregivers and even into um early childhood and carry that into our adult relationships and our relationship with God and think that God's gonna respond the same way, right? God is not our parents, he's not our close friends, he's not our family, in the sense that he doesn't do or isn't going to do the things that they did to us. God is perfect and he loves us perfectly and he's present with us perfectly, he does everything right. So it's easy for us to assume that that well, it can't be God that's wrong, and he's not, but the flip side to that is does that mean then that there's something wrong with you or is it just the way in which you're you've learned to relate? Right? So that's what we want to challenge. Is this doesn't mean if you're not in a secure relationship with God, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you in the sense of uh shame and uh your evil and all of this stuff, but it is, and this is biblical, it is the effect of sin on one's life, right? Our bodies are prone to worry. Why? Because we didn't have a secure base growing up, or we had our needs met inconsistently, so our body is responding to what are what we've experienced growing up. Up. And that's part of the fall, right? If you had completely absent parents, you would see no need for God. You would think to yourself that you're everything, right? The avoidant thinks that they don't need anyone, they can do everything themselves. Even though they really want connection, they can do without it because there's enough evidence of them doing things without other people. So they would see that same relationship in their in their relationship with God and say, you know, I believe in God. I know that He's there, but you know, I think I'll be able to get through anything that comes my way. Right. There's no full dependence on God. So everyone has their thing based off of their upbringing and experiences. It's just a matter of knowing what those things are and then learning how to how to counter how to counterbalance that. Okay. So I guess the question after all of this, so can I become securely attached and manage my anxiety better? And the answer to that is yes, right? Um, there's many episodes that I've done on how you can become securely attached, but one of the main ways in which I talk about, and this is in relation to people, is to find some safe, secure people, people who have this view of themselves in a positive way, not arrogant, right? I'm not talking about that there's pride and arrogance in the way that they view themselves, just that they feel good about themselves. And the way to kind of look at that is talk to them about their upbringing. What was that like? So you have some people who would talk about, yeah, my parents, you know, they're really great about meeting my needs and letting me kind of um, you know, get some independence, but also they provide some rules and guidelines for me to follow. And uh, I think that that was really beneficial for me. Who, what kind of friends do they have? Are they able to relate? It doesn't matter how many they have, right? It's not the number of friendships that they have, it's the quality of friendships that they have. Um, so look at their close friendships. What do what do they look like? Do they look like something that you want, right? In the sense of how are they able to meet each other's needs? Because really, attachment style is about how your needs were met or not met when you were growing up. And we try to find different ways in our adult um lives how to get those needs met. And we use different ways, different methods, different um inclinations to try to get those needs met. So, yes, you can be securely attached, and one of the ways to do that is to find safe, secure people who display those pro-social behaviors that we're talking about. And can I be another question, I guess, that can come up from this is can I be securely attached and still experience anxiety? And the answer to that is yes. There can be times where you still experience anxiety because it's again part of part of our fallen nature. So you can be securely attached, and what that means is that there's a long history track record evidences of rupture repair, of positive rupture repair in that relationship. Now, you don't want so many ruptures that that's the only thing you see. What you want is evidences of when there were ruptures, we were able to re-establish connection after that, right? That's what you want. So even if there are big explosive moments where you look at the friendship or the relationship, and there was this big moment, what happened after that? Right? That's a pretty big rupture, a big fight. You yelled, said something that you didn't want to say, and now you come back together and you apologize and you move forward, right? And then maybe you have another big rupture, and then maybe have another big rupture. But in general, you don't want to see, you know, up down, up, down that this is the relationship, right? Kind of like a heartbeat. You want to see kind of like little lines and you know, you get a uh a little rupture there, and then you have little lines and then rupture there. Life happens. Different situations cause us to be stressed and anxious and avoidant and all of these different things. So you can still experience anxiety even if you're in a securely attached relationship. The question is, remember, what you want to look at is how do you repair after the ruptures? And if you have a long history and evidence of good repairs, then you are in a securely attached relationship. It's all about how you just communicate with each other, express your needs and meet those needs within the friendship relationship. And remember that God uses people to teach us something about himself, he uses life experiences to teach us about himself. And and more importantly, he uses scripture to teach us about himself. There's so much evidence in scripture of how much God loves us and how much God is a secure base for his children. So if you can look at all that, look at the evidences of God's character, you will find that he is our secure base. Guys, thank you for tuning in. I hope for those of you guys who are listening and maybe either you're struggling with anxious attachment style or you know someone who's struggling with anxious attachment style, feel free to share this episode. Let them tune in, and hopefully they're able to take a good nugget of wisdom from this. Alright, guys. Well, I'll have another exciting topic next time. Until then, I'll talk to you then. Bye.