Lead To Excel Podcast

Why You’re Still Stuck - Even After Doing Everything Right - E112

• Maureen Chiana • Episode 112

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In this episode, I unpack a powerful truth many avoid: sometimes, the delay we experience after prayer isn’t spiritual — it’s internal.

Using a blend of neuroscience, emotional intelligence, mindset, and scripture, she explores the hidden reasons we stay stuck, even when we’ve prayed, planned, and believed.

You’ll discover:

  • Why procrastination is often rooted in fear, not laziness
  • How emotional patterns and brain wiring sabotage answered prayers
  • The impact of seeking validation and lacking support
  • What the Bible teaches us about fear, resistance, and bold action
  • And how to finally move — with faith and emotional alignment

This is for anyone who’s prayed for more, sensed God’s “yes,” but still can’t seem to step forward.

✨ Don’t just be inspired — be activated.
🎧 Tune in, take notes, and take action.


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Mindsight Women's Network | Mindsight Store | The Mindsight Academy

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Articles on Brainz

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Stay curious and empowered!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Lead to Excel podcast, where faith, leadership, emotional intelligence and neuroscience meet. I'm Maureen Chiana, your host, and I'm here to help you think differently, lead boldly and live intentionally. If you're ready to unlock your potential and transform the way you lead and live, you're in the right place. Remember to subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. Let's dive in. So what we're talking about today is you prayed for a breakthrough, so why are you still stuck through? So why are you still stuck? So let's start with this scenario or story. So there's a moment I would say that most people talk about, and recently it's been coming up quite a bit. Like I said, and I'll kind of phrase it this way, it's just, you know, kind of put yourself in the position whereby you feel the moment that you've been praying for finally shows up, but you back away from it. You open your inbox and see it that opportunity you've been fasting for, you've been crying for, you know, that opportunity you've really been dreaming about for so long. For you, it might be an invitation to speak at a conference, it might be a job offer, it might even be a door opening for you in a part of business or in your business. It could even be a divine connection. Even be a divine connection. Your heart leaps, but then your mind whispers am I really ready for this? What if I mess this up? What if this is too much? And what if it's too soon? So, instead of saying yes, you then say to yourself maybe later. You close the email, you scroll, you go back to what's safe, and when you finally muster up the courage to reply, the opportunity has gone. It wasn't the delay that shut the door. It wasn't even the hesitation or even the self-doubt. It was the belief that you were not yet enough. So you didn't miss it because God said no. You missed it because fear said not yet, and the problem is, you believed it. So does this resonate with you? If it does? Just drop something in the chat? What's the one thing that you've been avoiding? Not because you feel you can't do it, but that fear, that excuse, or where you find yourself making excuses.

Speaker 1:

One of the things I want us to look at today is that internal resistance that creates these excuses or that keeps you stuck. When it feels like your prayers are not being answered, how does it feel? I would say, for me, the pain really feels real. You know you feel some form of pain or disappointment, but sometimes the issue isn't a spiritual delay, it's emotional disalignment, which is really something that most people don't think about or don't even know about and not aware about. So you're praying for the next level, but your mindset is still tied to the last one, to the previous one, to the past experience you've had, or to that bad experience you've had, or to the hurt from a possibly relationship. Your heart says I want more, but your nervous system says more doesn't actually feel safe. So here's what internal resistance can sound like, and I want you to kind of think about what it sounds like to you or what it comes up for you. I'll move when I'm sure. I'm just waiting for confirmation. I'm just waiting for confirmation. God will open the door when it's time. I'm not fully healed yet.

Speaker 1:

Proverbs 23, 7 says as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So the way that you think is actually the way that you will behave, is the way you will act. It will come out in your actions and in your behavior. So you might declare breakthroughs with your mouth, but if your subconscious brain still feels unsafe, having that thing, that you, that breakthrough you want, what you will find is that your feet will move. You will not take actions because when you have a thought emotions it creates an emotion which then makes you carry out an action. So if the narrative is already a negative one, what your emotional brain will then do is prevent you from taking the action, because it will activate your stress response, which will then make you take the actions of a negative action which could be holding back or freezing. So it's that flight, flight or freeze mechanism. So you find yourself not actually taking the actions you want to take. Instead, you're taking actions in response to the negative narrative that you've created.

Speaker 1:

So science tells us that our emotional brain, which is known as the limbic brain, leads our decisions. So it's not logic necessarily that drives us forward. It's actually what feels familiar that drives us forward. It's because our subconscious brain is what drives about 90 to 95% of what we do. It's that that's the familiar and that's what will then drive your action. So if fear, if rejection and playing small are your emotional home, if that's your safety, if that's what you've wired yourself to focus on, progress will then feel like danger. So that thing that you actually want will be what you find yourself holding back from because your brain has perceived it as a danger.

Speaker 1:

Because what if you know the whole concept of fear of failing and we'll talk about that or even fear of success as well. So I want us to look at some blocks that can occur, and the first one I want us to kind of talk about is procrastination, and I'll start by saying that procrastination is not laziness, it's actually fear in disguise. So you're not lazy, you're literally just protecting yourself. That thing that you keep postponing. It's not the task that's heavy, it's the narrative and emotions attached to it that make it heavy. So fear of failing, fear of even being seen, fear of being understood, fear of succeeding and then losing it and I can identify with that so much because when I ran my business this was going back about 20 years ago and I had to close it, to start this new business 10 years ago was a huge. My subconscious brain went into overdrive. What if you fail was one thing, but also what if you succeed and then lose it, which is what happened before and that almost kept me stuck.

Speaker 1:

But you have to understand this and be so self-alert and self-aware that when those narratives come up, you then change the narrative so that you can then be in control to take the actions that you want to take and not allow the fear of those of the fears to overcome you. So Ecclesiastes 11.4 says whoever watches the wind will not plant. Whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. So you keep waiting for perfect conditions, but the fact is that perfect conditions never come. You've got to step out. You've got to take the action, in spite of how you feel, in spite of the emotions. You've got to take because the emotions are a response to what is already wired in your brain. But you want something different. So you've got to really push beyond the emotions and the narrative. That is saying stop and create the new narrative that you want, which will then so your emotions will eventually catch up with that and then it becomes easier for you. But you've got to push beyond the resistance.

Speaker 1:

So the key question to ask is not why can't I do it? The question to actually ask yourself is what am I afraid will happen if I do it? That's a more powerful question to ask, because once you answer that, you can then deal with that narrative by changing that narrative, reframing that narrative, so that your subconscious brain will then catch up, because that's the process of the rewiring, and this is why I've created a space call it a spirit-led space where we grow through. You know, going through all this together. So it's not just the knowing, but it's actually being able to live it out, because, you see, you can have knowledge, which you know, we can see from this talk. You know you're doing prayers, you know the scripture, you're quoting it all but not taking the action. So you gain the knowledge but also gain the skills to take the actions. And that's the Mindsight Women's Network. So it's a place where we do the inner work with faith, using neuroscience, emotional intelligence and real community.

Speaker 1:

So I'll share more about it at the end, but if this is speaking to you, then this space is really for you, but I'll talk about it later. So I want us now to look at another block. But please remember, subscribe if you still haven't subscribed and share. The other thing I'll look at is when you tell yourself that I need a sign, but the fact is that you have already got a sign. So you've prayed, god has showed you what to do, and possibly God might have whispered through a conversation, even through an opportunity or even a moment, but you're still waiting for something louder, something bigger, maybe a neon sign.

Speaker 1:

So you stay, still thinking it isn't clear yet. I need more clarity, I need more information. But what if the lack of clarity isn't God's delay? What if it's your fear, pretending to be wisdom, which is exactly what fear does? It disguises as wisdom and we believe it. Galatians 1.10 says am I now trying to please people or God? Because many people want confirmation from others before they obey God. But purpose doesn't always come with an applause and when you really think about it, people can only give you knowledge or give information based on what they know. But if you have received the word, if you know within you and that this is what you're meant to be doing now, then go for it. Stop relying on other people. Science shows us that when we don't get validation, our dopamine drops, and that deep can actually feel like rejection, even if God, you know, has already said to you yes. But because you don't get the validation, your dopamine drops.

Speaker 1:

And I've told this story before how, when I wanted to start the academy, which is the Mindsight Academy, just about 2018, I was preparing, you know, really working, really excited, because I knew that this was what God had told me to do. And someone said to me now, people don't want to go online. People don't want to go online, they want in-person. And that literally froze me. For weeks, I couldn't even work on the academy, and it's just. I just listened to the voice of God. One day say who are you listening to, human or myself? I've told you to do it and you're listening to other people. And that's when I literally repented and got back and created it, and that was 2018. And then 2020, everyone was online. Do you see what I mean? So we need to really pay attention to what God is telling us, find out exactly what you're meant to be doing now. And I go through a lot of this in the Mindsight Women's Network, where we're just coming to the end of that program RISE, where we actually dig deep into understanding what our goals are, what our passions are, what our purpose is and what our values are, understanding what God has called us to do and learning to take the right action in spite of the narratives internal narratives or external narratives that try to hold us back.

Speaker 1:

So don't let the absence of applause keep you from responding to what you've been called to do. Now look at another block, which is when you're waiting for other people to support you. So you probably thought you would get help, or you thought that they would help. You thought that they would show up, you thought that they would support you, maybe in this new venture that you're going on or this new big step that you want to take, but instead you get silence. You're asking yourself the question if my own friends or family won't even support me or cheer me on. Maybe this dream isn't real. But let's take a look and kind of go back to David. Samuel came to anoint the next king and Jesse, david's own father, didn't even invite him into the room, but God still sent for him.

Speaker 1:

So, even if your family, even if your friends, even if people around you don't support your dream or your vision, but you know that this is what God has asked you to do, please hold on to what God has asked you to do. Psalm 27, 10 says though my father and mother may forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Forsake me, the Lord will receive me. So if you're waiting for support, for people to validate your calling, you will stay in delay or you will literally stay frozen or stuck for a long time because the vision you've gotten, or the vision you see, they don't see it. And most times when you focus and continue doing what you've been called to do and you find that things you know, you start getting successful. Those people that didn't support you before will then start supporting you. So it's important to just pay attention to what God has called you to do, that thing you've prayed for, and you know that. See, this is what God has asked me to do. Move ahead and do it.

Speaker 1:

Their silence or people's silence isn't proof that you're wrong. It's the space God uses to strengthen your inner yes. When they're keeping silent or when they're critiquing or saying this is not what you should be doing. That space, use it. You know that's the space that God is actually strengthening so that you can actually tell yourself yes. So even when they're saying no, you're able to tell yourself yes.

Speaker 1:

So my question to you now is has someone's silence or lack of support made you second guess yourself? Silence or lack of support made you second guess yourself. So let me continue on to the next block that we'll look at, and I call this when your mouth says yes, but your brain and heart are saying no. So you're kind of saying to yourself this is my year, I'm stepping out, god has more for me. This is my year. I'm stepping out, god has more for me.

Speaker 1:

But inside you feel I'm not ready, I don't want to be seen. What if I mess it all up? That's called emotional dissonance. When your emotions and declarations don't agree, your actions will side with your emotions every single time. Because, remember I said, when you have a thought, it creates an emotion and it's this emotion that makes you carry out the action. Also, the subconscious brain, which is where memory is stored, is more powerful than the conscious brain, so that, even though in your mouth you're actually saying this is my year, this is the year of jubilee, this is my year of victory, this is my year, but in your subconscious what is already wired is that fear, that wondering what if I mess up? I don't, you know, I don't really want to be seen, I'm not ready yet. I need to do a bit more, I need to heal more, I need to gain more knowledge. Then you know, that's where the dissonance comes in and what takes really permanence is the wiring. It's that subconscious, it's those things, that narrative, and that's where you find that you don't do what you want to do.

Speaker 1:

There's someone I was coaching a few years ago very, very excellent in the role that she was doing and a new role came up and she called me and told me about this role and I was so excited. I said, yeah, you're going for it, aren't you? She said, oh, not yet. And they said, of course I. And I was so excited. I said, yeah, you're going for it, aren't you? She said, oh, not yet. And they said course I want to do. And I said what? You're not doing? Any more courses, you're going for this. And you could see immediately that. You see what the subconscious brain was doing, because she had told you that fear of what if I failed, if I? When we said it, when I started probing further the, the fear for her was what if I? What if I actually get the job and fail in the role was her biggest worry. And because of that, the brain then starts coming up with the narrative maybe go and do another course to get you more equipped. Anyway, the long and short is, she did go for that job, she did get that job and she thrived so much in that job she's now gone into a higher role.

Speaker 1:

So we need to really pay attention to what our brain is telling us, so that it and ask the question is this real or is this false? Proverbs 4.23 says guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Your brain literally reacts emotionally before your thoughts can even catch up. So if your past experiences have linked success with fear, pressure or rejection, then your subconscious will try to protect you. Not because there's something wrong with you necessarily no but because your brain thinks unfamiliar means unsafe, because you've made that connection.

Speaker 1:

So if you're finding this helpful, I would love you to get my book Rewire your Brain with Neuroscience and Scripture Every Day. Get it from Amazon or from anywhere where you buy your books. Everything I'm talking about today is here, honestly everything, and it's in bite size. So it's daily, it's daily content and it's just one day, one page a day. It's really fantastic. So you've got so many opportunities to really ensure that you constantly are rewiring your brain. Take them, use them, because the Bible has given you know, even tells us to gain knowledge as well. Gain knowledge, and it's so important and get support as well.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to look at another block, and this one is, you're still trying to control the outcome. And this example is like you've asked God to move, you've prayed and he's answered, but now you want to know exactly how it will unfold, you know. So you're praying and you know the Bible says it when we pray we should believe, when we see that we shall have it. And it says when we pray, he answers our prayers. But then you're there kind of going yeah, but I want to know how this? I want to know the steps. I want to know all the steps. Give me every confirmation, tell me that it won't hurt. I want to know all the steps. Give me every confirmation, tell me that it won't hurt. And I say that that's not trust, that's control. And the problem in doing that is that you become focused on that. So you're focusing on. I want to know the steps. I want to know, you know, I want to make sure that it won't hurt me.

Speaker 1:

As you focus on those things, you're missing the opportunities or the answer to your prayers, because there's a saying what you focus on expands. Basically, whatever you focus on is where your brain would keep leading you to that. And I've given the example and you probably cannot relate to this when I wanted to buy a car I was only to buy a BMW got to the garage and there was a Honda garage across the road and I went in there to look at Hondas and I went, oh, I quite fancy a Honda Civic, and of course I've not really seen many in the UK and when we left I didn't buy the car that day. But when we left on the drive home, which was about 40 minutes drive, honestly I probably saw about 20 Honda Civics. So, and I was thinking to myself, where did all these Honda Civics come from? They were always there, but because I never really focused on them, I didn't see them. But they were there. And that's exactly how the brain works. So those things you're focusing on are the things you will see, and then you end up missing the actual opportunity or answer to your prayers.

Speaker 1:

Proverbs 3, 5, 6 says trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. So we've got to let go. Faith doesn't mean that you will never feel fear. It means that you choose to move forward even when fear shows up. Scripture says do not fear, not because fear won't come, but because you don't have to let it lead and also because we can overcome fear. We can move in spite of fear. So we learn to walk in peace, even when the plan isn't clear, and God really shows us the full map. Anyway, he gives us the next step and then asks us will you trust me with the rest? And we've just got to do that. So what are you still trying to control instead of trusting God? And I want you to really reflect on this for your own self. So when you stay in hesitation, the effects aren't just emotional, they're neurological, they're spiritual and practical. So let's look at some of the points here.

Speaker 1:

So your brain begins to wire for avoidance. You know, when you find that your brain is wiring for avoidance and this can come from experiences, so you've had an experience and you then find that you don't want to, you know, repeat the same experience it could even be rejection. It could be that fear of rejection, it could be fear of failure. It could be fear of failure, it could be fear of, you know, fear of succeeding and losing, like I've explained previously. But your brain begins to wire for avoidance and with everything I always say, ask the question why? Why am I feeling this way? Why am I having this thought and then so that you can reframe it, because what you then find is that when your brain begins to wire for avoidance, what is happening is that it's reinforcing fear pathways instead of growth and resilience.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is, your clarity can also weaken. When you stay in hesitation, you find that your clarity can also weaken Decision. Fatigue sets in and what once felt clear becomes confusing. Another station is your internal motivation starts to fade, and this really is when dopamine is no longer activated by vision. So even small steps start feeling heavy, because then, when the dopamine starts dropping, then even taking small steps start feeling heavy, because then, when the dopamine starts dropping, then even taking small steps, even taking small actions, becomes so heavy. And that is when you start finding yourself making excuses or even sabotaging yourself when opportunities are missed, not because you were not called or not because God hasn't called you, but because you did not respond on time. And then the question is why and that could be all these fears, all these blocks, all these concerns. So it's really paying attention to this.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is you lose confidence in yourself. The longer you delay you find that, the more you believe that you're not capable, because it's that self perpetuating confirmation in the brain. You're delaying it and then you're telling yourself I'm not ready and the next thing your brain is telling you you're not. You're not really. Is this really for you? Is this really for me? I'm not really. This is not. I'm not cut out for this.

Speaker 1:

Someone said to me once I'm not cut out to be a leader. Not really, this is not, I'm not cut out for this. Someone said to me once I'm not cut out to be a leader, you know, but God has called you into a leadership role and the fact is that we're all leaders. God has called us all to be leaders at different capacities and different ways. So we just need to you know, change that narrative, because I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. He's given us the ability to be limitless. And also you start finding that others move forward not because they are more gifted, but because they chose action over perfection.

Speaker 1:

And this is where really understanding the wiring, how you've currently wired your brain, is so important. Because I always say, if you've wired that frontal left part of the brain which we see in the prison brain mapping diagnostic, you find that actually, if you activate that part, if you wire it so highly, you find that what actually was a good thing, where you're being very analytical, really being paying attention to detail, can then trip you into being a perfectionist. That then makes you to be, you know, in action. Where you then experience action paralysis, you then actually don't take the actions. So inaction has a cost, which is, you know, neurological cost, emotional cost, spiritual cost, and it compounds over time. And that's why I like that James 2.17 that says faith without works is dead. So we've just got to push, you know, really change the narrative and just start taking the actions, in spite of the emotions that we're feeling.

Speaker 1:

God isn't just waiting on our worship, he's waiting on our walk. We need to take the steps, because it's when you take the steps your brain then follows through. That subconscious brain will then follow through and, even if it's still resisting, keep answering the questions it brings up. You're not good enough? No, the Bible, god, says that I am good enough, I am more than able. Use scripture to really wire. Don't just use words lose, kind of very vaguely. Use them with conviction, understanding the truth behind those words, because that is what would then enable you create the emotional motivation and release the right neurochemicals to help you carry out the actions that you need to carry out.

Speaker 1:

So my final word is you're not waiting on God, he's waiting on you. You've prayed, you've fasted, you've asked for confirmation, but what if that silence is God saying I've already answered. Now move. This isn't punishment, it's an invitation. The door is open, the confirmation is complete and your moment is now. You're not behind, you're being invited to align. So take that step, start that thing, say yes again and just move. Take the action you need to take. Whether it's getting support, whatever it is, do it. Whether it's starting a business, do it, but take the action.

Speaker 1:

And before we wrap up, I just want to take a moment to invite you to go deeper. So if today's message has said something in you, or if you're tired of cycling that same mountain, feeling stuck or wondering how to break through, you know how to break through. You know how to break through the invisible wall, how to break through the barriers, whatever that might be for you. There are a few ways that I would love to support you. First, if you're a woman looking for a place to grow, not just in knowledge, like I said earlier, but in identity, in leadership, in faith. I want to invite you to join us in Mindsight Women's Network. It's an online community. I created this for purpose-driven women. We combine scripture, we combine neuroscience and emotional intelligence in a way that's practical, powerful and spirit-filled, and you don't have to figure this all out alone. Come and join us. There are links in the description.

Speaker 1:

Secondly, don't forget I mentioned the book. Grab your copy of Rewire your Brain with Neuroscience and Scripture Every Day. This book can be your own personal coach. Basically, if you don't want to join the community, if you don't want to have one-to-one coaching, get this book. This will be your own personal coach. Basically, if you don't want to join the community, if you don't want to have one-to-one coaching, get this book. This will be your personal coach. It's truly, truly transformational and it's changing lives. Every day, people are calling me and telling me how it's really impacted their lives. It's amazing. So get the book. And then, finally, if you're ready for a more personal breakthrough maybe you're navigating leadership, a decision, or you just feel overwhelmed please do book a one-to-one call. Let's have a chat. We'll discuss what's keeping you stuck and map out your next move with clarity and confidence. And all the links are in the description below.

Speaker 1:

A lot of times we look at things so superficially, but understanding the science, understanding what's inside, you know, I always say the brain is the one organ we don't see, so we kind of ignore, but it's the one, it's the most important one that we need to understand so that you truly understand how to use it to your benefit and it will help you to really progress. You know faster, you truly understand how to use it to your benefit and it will help you to really progress faster. So if you've got questions or you want to know more, please reach out and love to really support you, and I wish everyone a fantastic, most blessed May. So go and really thrive. That thing you've been putting off, that thing you've been resisting, that prayer that God has already answered. Please start taking those steps that you need to do. Ask him the question and just move forward. Get all the support you need, but get it from the right people.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for tuning in to Lead to Excel podcast with me, maureen Chiana. I hope today's episode inspired and equipped you to renew your mind and lead with purpose. If it did, please you remember to subscribe, share with someone who needs it and leave a review. It really helps more people discover this message. Remember you are created to soar higher. Think boldly and live intentionally. Until next time, stay focused, stay faith-filled and keep becoming all God designed you to be. See you in the next episode. Bye for now.