Get your business together, get yourself into what you do, and see it through.
Emily Thompson:Because being boss is hard when the work and life is messy, making your dream job of your own isn't easy.
Kathleen Shannon:But getting paid for it, becoming known for it. And finding purpose in it is so doable.
Emily Thompson:If you do the one being boss, a podcast for creative entrepreneurs for Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon, welcome to Episode 20 with our guest chalene Johnson. This episode is brought to you by fresh books cloud accounting
Kathleen Shannon:isoline Hi, girls.
Chalene Johnson:How are ya?
Kathleen Shannon:Good. How are you?
Chalene Johnson:I'm doing good. I'm doing really good. I love your hair. I those knots.
Kathleen Shannon:Oh my gosh. So I have dreads. Yeah, I have dreads and then I figured no one can ever be mad at me whenever I have them in my little like Minnie Mouse, your buttons? For sure.
Unknown:Yeah, she didn't
Emily Thompson:look like Minnie Mouse, right?
Kathleen Shannon:If you're listening to this episode, you have to check out our YouTube video if you want to see my hair. I guess
Chalene Johnson:there's a really good plug for people to check out your YouTube channel, because now they're gonna be dying to see this hair. Right? Yeah.
Kathleen Shannon:Well, chalene We're so excited to be chatting with you today, I want to tell our audience a little bit about you. And so you all might recognize chalene as the fitness celebrity behind Turbo Fire, or Pio, which Emily was a Turbo Fire fan. And I was doing Pio right after I had my baby. And so chalene also has two podcasts, she has the chalene show and build your tribe. And you may have seen them in the top charts on iTunes, if you're looking around there. chalene is also a New York Times bestselling author and motivational speaker and is the CEO total boss of her business and Lifestyle coaching company, team Johnson. And socially, you're a total boss, you are so wildly successful. And one of the things I'm going to talk about today is like it's really easy to look at you and think like, Oh, well, that's for her and not for me, like she's a superstar. But like I really want to, I want you to share your journey and what you've experienced along the way. I want to hear about the path that you took to lead to where you are now. But yeah, and if there were specifically like any pivotal moments where you really leveled up. And by that I mean like just those those moments that you can say, Yes, that was a moment where things changed and where I started to, to rocket fuel, like launch into the success that you've had. And so yeah, just like
Chalene Johnson:so I would say that the when you say that to level up, like for me, that almost gives me anxiety because when when things really like became good for me, like when I started coming closer to what I feel is success is when I leveled down, always say more about Yeah, well, I mean, I had to stop chasing and stop thinking like, Ah, this, this is the new This is going to be it and Oh, I should say yes to this into this into this into this. And and I think when so. So I'm not sure if I'm comfortable at the word level, like just me personally come comfortable the word level up, just because I'm a reformed workaholic. And so I've had to figure out like, why I was that way why I couldn't delegate why I held on to those excuses, which are the excuses everybody uses like, well, it's quicker if I just figured this out myself. And well, I'm saving us money if I learned how to do this first and, and what I need to do it because no one will do it like I do it or I can't show him how to do it because nobody else gets it. You know, and I used to use all those excuses to which, frankly, I now realize were were excuses I was using to be comfortable in my addiction to work, you know, and my addiction to a pat on the back. Like that's what a lot of it came from. And so, so when things started to what I would not refer to as level up, but when things started to get really, really good. And all areas is when I started saying no. And when I started when I did therapy to figure out like, Why do I feel like I can't stop, you know, and to figure out like, what does that come from? Because I thought it was just like a badge of honor like I'm a workaholic. Yo,
Kathleen Shannon:can you give me your therapist number? Okay, so let's Yeah, a little bit like let's start then from like, Did it start with the fitness videos like you started at birth? No,
Chalene Johnson:you know, here's what I'll tell you specifically when it started because I figured it out in therapy. My parents, my dad was an entrepreneur. And we grew up you know, poor but I didn't know like always struggling because he was always like doing something new. And there was a period of time when he was a liquidator, and he They took all of their savings and bought this huge chain of department stores liquidated them, and they bought them in a bankruptcy court in, you know, its business bankruptcy court in Detroit. It was very, very cutthroat. So they took all of their money, they bought all of these assets. And they housed them in a warehouse. And just a few, I don't know, weeks, or however long after they acquired them, a competitor burned everything down to the ground. And I was, I don't know, like maybe sixth grade, and literally burned
Emily Thompson:it down.
Chalene Johnson:Yep, burned it down to the ground, there was a fire, and it wasn't insured. Oh, it wasn't insured. And my parents are my dad was a great communicator. So it's funny how the things we say to our children intended to be helpful. You just never know how they're going to end up in therapy one day, like, you know. So anyways, my dad brought me into his office, and I just can't forget, because this is the day that and he said, I had a I had a savings account, because he was always helping me start businesses and earn money, good things. And in an effort to continue to teach me about money. He sat me down in a big leather chair in his office, and he pulled out my little blue bank statement. And he said, and he didn't have to have this conversation with me, it was supposed to be a teaching moment. But he said, you know, your mother and I had this fire and, and we're going to be fine. Then we're going to borrow the money you have in your account. And here's what interest looks like, and we're going to pay you back. So when it seems completely innocent, I don't know that I wouldn't have done that. It was a teaching moment. But in my young age, at in that moment, my brain said, You are valuable. If you can make money for people, you are valuable, because you can earn. And from that day forward, I never asked for lunch money or money for clothes, or for anything. I just said Get to work. Like in my own head, I started working when I was like 14 and paid for my own college and paid for every like literally lunch like it was lunch with $1.10. And I wouldn't ask for lunch money because I'm like, this makes me valuable. And, and that's where it started. I didn't realize that until I went to therapy. I thought it was I was raised by an entrepreneur, I just have incredible work ethic and You're just jealous. You know. And, and so I just went, I just was always very, very proud of that I was always I it gave me It still to this day gives me great confidence to know, I don't ever have to worry, because I'll solve a problem. And in that process, I'll be able to provide, but I don't need to continue to chase it. I don't need to keep going and going and going I don't need to be number one, I don't need to have more. I just need to have enough just enough to take care of my family and in order to have peace. And so you know, I got put myself through college by starting a business I owned a business called the all Michigan auto swap meet. And I flipped cars. I know right? And and then I you know I did everything you can imagine like I was studying to go to law school and taking the L sat and working as a paralegal and starting a personal training business and a fitness business and, and working in an MLM selling knives door to door for Cutco. Like I was always like, go, go, go, go go, right. And so that just kept continuing, I kept having people, I kept having success, but it never felt like enough. It always felt like this is gonna be the last time and I better keep looking for the next thing and I better never break. And and so the business that really took off was our certification business, we developed a program called turbo kick. And I started teaching fitness instructors randomly because like fitness wasn't even my degree my degrees and justice, morality and constitutional democracy and, and but I developed this program, I like this, this is gonna solve problems for people who want to teach fitness classes, and it's a pain in the butt to teach fitness classes. So if I do this, it'll, it could create some income, and it did and it took off. And before long, my husband and I were, you know, we had our, our program and I don't know, like 40 or 50 different countries and we had like 100,000 instructors teaching it and we started an apparel company, and then we start doing motivational camps. And then and then we started getting the attention of infomercial companies and and so then we started doing infomercials and and that's when, while I was at the top is when I hit my bottom. That's the only way I could say it. You know,
Unknown:so what did that feel like? I mean, was it just it's confusing. Yeah,
Chalene Johnson:I would say it's confusing because it got there because I just refused. I thought my our success is because I do everything. Our successes because I'm the only one who knows how to write the emails and it's my voice and in our successes because I'm the one who learned And how to edit all the music. Like what I added is like I learned how to do Sound Forge and I learned how to like, why do I think I have to do all these things? And I just so everyone was trying to help me but I. At the time, I thought I really did believe no one else could do it as well as me. Since then I realized I just want my motivation wasn't so altruistic. My motivation was that I wanted credit for it. It would kill me if I heard someone else go, oh, that mix is so good. If I couldn't say, Oh, yeah, well, I did it. You know, like, I that's truthfully, like, what it boiled down to and, and I just had to be honest and go like, why do I need credit? Like, why? You know, I need peace and so, so that when I say it was confusing, it was that I had no history of giving things to other people and having it turn out well, because I just never done it. And if I did it, I never allowed someone to do something long enough to get good at it. Number one, and number two, is I just kept adding on and adding on and adding on and, and, and yes, opportunities were coming our way. But I didn't know how to differentiate between what was good and not so good. You know what I mean? And, and I just couldn't say no. But yet, I was also doing a lot of deception with myself, like I did all of this from home. So I could say, Oh, I must I'm a stay at home mom who's completely a lunatic was not present who's, you know, just a maniac. And who doesn't sleep? And so we're, you're,
Kathleen Shannon:I'm curious about this week, maybe because it's the phase of life that I'm in right now with a 15 month old baby boy. How old are your children now?
Unknown:Now? They're 15 and 1815. And 18? Yeah, so
Kathleen Shannon:whenever you were, you know, staying at home with them, which I put in quotes. And, and, and working at the same time, a lot of the creatives that listen to this show, they're doing the same thing, their work from home moms, yes. So really, like you didn't have a babysitter or nanny or daycare
Chalene Johnson:now, and I honestly would try not to work when they were awake. And my husband, I were both together one of us, you know, like I one of us had to be involved with them. And so that, you know, because I had that, that that was a really strong driving priority to me was to be present for my kids. And so I would be as much as possible unless I just couldn't, but so that meant the sacrifice was sleep. So a lot of times I would work through the night like I would if there were years I operate on like two or three hours of sleep. Oh, yeah. And, and or, you know, like, the second they went down for a nap. It was like, go, go, go, go, go. So that's, you know, it's just a very stressful situation to put yourself in. And I began to resent my husband if he would like, sit down. Without a list, you know, I'm like, rude Get up, you know. But um,
Kathleen Shannon:alright, so Charlene, what are you? What are you working on right now?
Chalene Johnson:Now, well, since that time, I we, in our rock bottom moment, which, you know, is interesting to a lot of people it because, you know, we are multimillionaires and living in a mansion and driving amazing cars and have this like work from home amazing life, kind of. But yet I felt I couldn't breathe. I felt completely. I just I couldn't watch a movie. I couldn't sit. I really I literally couldn't. That was my own fault, though. And so there just came a moment where my husband, my husband, I'm a talker, clearly. And my husband is always the kind of like, hey, if it makes you happy, good with me, you know, and so he never, he never put the brakes on. Nothing to him was his fault. But he just his own childhood experience was such that you don't have an opinion. You know, you just don't your kid and your opinion doesn't matter. So he grew up thinking, well, even if I do have an opinion, I'm not going to share it. And so when it finally just got to be too much, he just looked at me. And here we were married for like, whatever. I don't know, at that point, however many years, maybe 12 years at that point. And he just looked at me, he's like this, this is never gonna end is it? And I'm like, What? And he's like, just this this is always going to be like something else, right? I mean, like, you can't stop, right? And I'm like, Yes, I can. And he's like, I don't I don't think so. And he was just he just said I'm, I'm not happy. And I was like, Don't say that. Don't say
Unknown:we're happy, dammit.
Chalene Johnson:But I was like, in shock. I'm like, blown a happy. Oh, and here's the other thing is that, you know, we weren't really communicating like we were communicating. But like, I don't know, I think a lot of couples have this where like, he would be in a bad mood. I'm even. I'm like as even as you'd ever meet anyone. And my husband was kind of more like this and So I was always like trying to regulate his this. And so I noticed that he was always like in a better mood when I had a big hit like we I'm like, look at this thing I created that we can sell. And so then I associated that same thing from a kid like, Oh, so if, if I work harder, he's happy. And he was always thinking, well, when she's working, she's happy. So I'll just make it possible for her to work all the time. So it was like a totally total miscommunication almost killed us both. And then when he finally just said, like, I don't need any of this, I don't care. I'm like, I don't either. And I don't care. And we have to do something. And so at that point, I just couldn't change. I was I was the brand I was in every single video, I choreographed every single routine, I cut up the music for every single program, it was all me all day, all night, I designed every piece of clothing. So we had to say, how do we get out of this. And so we had to put together a plan to reverse engineer our all of our businesses to the point where I was no longer the face or brand, I was no longer the only employee. And so that we could position ourselves to be in a place to be to be sold to be acquired. And that's what we did and took about three or four years to do it. But we said we were very, very motivated to make that happen. And then start from scratch. Right? So that's what I'm absolutely, you've got these workout videos, and you've got these podcasts like it doesn't from the outside from over here. It looks like you're still doing a whole lot of stuff. Sure, sure. So so let me explain that let me like lift the Hood Hood for you. I'd love
Kathleen Shannon:to see. Yeah, engine.
Chalene Johnson:Okay, so a lot of what what people see is stuff that I created years and years and years ago, you know what I mean? Like So first of all, that any any fitness program that I've done, requires about two weeks worth of work. Yeah, years ago. That's it. Yeah, you know, it, but still people like see it, they see it everywhere. So there's this illusion that you're like crazy, crazy busy. And they're like, oh, and you were writing books. I'm like, I wrote one book like five years ago. And, um, so so I think here's the thing I want. Anyone who's an entrepreneur to take away from this is I've been an entrepreneur for 20 years. So you're looking at 20 years of layers, layer upon layer, year, after year of my seasons, there was a time when I was doing everything all at once. That stuff still exists, it's still out there. And it's still content, you know what I mean? So it still looks like I'm everywhere. But now my, my and I still consult with Beachbody. When we sold our business. We sold to Beachbody, they acquired our apparel company, our motivational camp company and our certification company. And then in addition to that, separate from that, I am a celebrity trainer for them. And so that's still also consultant work. It's It's It's minimal. It's minimal because I've decided for it to be minimal. So I decline most appearances I say no to everything. Now,
Kathleen Shannon:do you ever have like coming from that addictive workaholic mentality? Do you ever experience that FOMO fear of missing out?
Chalene Johnson:Oh, sure. I mean, I used to I don't know you don't. And I'm enough, I'm enough. I'm enough. Because fear of missing out, the only thing you will miss out on is your family and your children. And I am certain that I will offend some people. But I believe there's nothing more important and you can't get that back. That if you're a mother, and this is my opinion, and it's a strong one. Your job is to make sure that your children feel like they are confident, self sufficient and important to you. And I never want it to get my workday ends at three and it always has even when we were crazy busy workday ends at three when the kids walk through the door. I'm not chalene Johnson I'm mom and I'm like,
Unknown:Oh my god, I'm
Chalene Johnson:so happy you're here. You know, not be quiet moms on a call. You know, I just because there's other ways to do it. And when you get your priorities straight, everything falls into check. And you can't do it over. And is if you are as brilliant as you know you are all of those things will be there. When your kids I know it feels like forever My kid my son's 18 I'm like, what, I don't even understand how that happened. But I assumed when he would be 18 I'm like, I'm going to tell myself that all these opportunities are still going to be there but I just wonder if they will. They're there times 10 you know they still are. But you have for example my husband and I, we coat now now what we do, by the way, FYI. Yeah. Is is now we say no to everything. We both did a lot of therapy. I did EMDR EMDR therapy, which I think is it's fast. So entrepreneurs and people like us love it because it's fast and it's permanent. What does EMDR stand for? I think it's eye movement reprocessing desensitization, em, e m, I movement D processing and re reprocessing and desensitization, something like that. We'll look it up. You can go to emdr.org. But it's a trippy, cool kind of therapy. But um, once we decided once we sold our businesses, we put in place a plan, like a complete plan that started with what did we want to feel each day? What do we want our this crazy, ridiculous day to look like, like ridiculousness? And we started with that, and then just said, Okay, what would that take and just reversed it. And here we are. And now all we do all we do. I do online academies. I've got three academies, courageous confidence, smart success, to teach people how to do what we've done, we've done. And then marketing impact Academy, which is teaching teaching entrepreneurs, how to save themselves a lot of time and money and build businesses, online, their online academies, I've already created the content, I update the content, maybe once a month, I filmed for maybe four hours. I'm here in my home. And I have now four employees versus 90, or 70, or whatever we had our peak. We are five employees, I should say I have almost everybody else's a virtual staff member. I love the Philippines. Like most people that work from here in the Philippines and their consultants and they're awesome. But But my day is typically 11 or 12. till three of work time and and then the rest of it's pretty yummy. You know, I say no, I don't say no to everything. I don't travel, I don't do appearances doesn't matter what the prices. I mean, rarely
Kathleen Shannon:thank you for showing up on being boss. While
Chalene Johnson:you're here, within my timeframe, it's not three
Kathleen Shannon:o'clock. Right. And you know, it's funny, because my day ends at three, two, and I wanted to talk a little bit about that. Because before I had a kid, and whenever people would say that about your family is first and I believe that too. But I always thought that equals be a stay at home mom, quit everything and be a stay at home mom and what I'm realizing now for me, the way that I could be most present was to have my baby in daycare for a few hours a day. So I could be whenever I'm with work 100% with work, right? Whenever I'm with my baby 100% with my baby. And it's not that juggling back and forth. I know that the juggling back and forth also works for some people Emily homeschools her kiddo, I bet I bet Lily is just off frame over there doing her letters.
Chalene Johnson:Not everyone has those kind of kids like I did not like my kids still this day can't go to a restaurant, like they climb all over people out of noxious. But, um, I appreciate what you said. And I think that's very true. Because when I when I shared with you that very honestly, I didn't feel present is that even when I was with my kids, and I was there with them? I mean, I think I would be lying if I if I said there's no way they didn't know, or there's no way they knew I was so distracted, they had to have you know, and we you can't toggle back and forth. So if you're thinking about, I mean, you can only toggle you can't do two things at once. So if you're thinking about the next email, you have to write and your kids going Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, you really can't be present. So I think that's a beautiful way to do it, where it's like very, very focused. And in fact, I think I've talked to a lot of people that we coach who have found that they can structure those hours where their child is with a care provider during the time where they're typically napping. So they're like, they're really not missing out on that much time, you know, and, and that they're able to really be that much more present. And again, this is a very strong belief I hold for me, but I know that for some people, it's it's they can't be a great mom, because unless they're like living their purpose and in corporate America, I just recently interviewed one of the former CEO of IKEA. Yeah, and yeah, per meal. And she and she says, You know, I, I didn't want to kid myself. I just I don't I'm not cut from that cloth. My husband was on with kids, and he was so good with them. But I just could not. I couldn't be a great mom. If I wasn't like living my purpose. So I'm not here to judge. I'm just saying, for me, I had to honor what I know was right for me. And it never felt right when I was away. And now I never felt right. I felt wrong. I felt bad. I felt like this anger and resentment. And I'm like, I just I have to honor this for me. And I think everyone needs to define set success on their own terms. And for me, here's how I define success, choice. Happiness, working with the people who I love, doing what I love, helping them do what they love. Being able to say no being able to change my mind midday. No. And so I had to get to a place where it's like, I'm okay if I had to cancel on the two of you, which I would hate to have to do. But if I had to, because if one of my kids called and said, Mom, I'm having a terrible day, can you come pick me up at school, I would cancel with you. And I know that be very disappointing to you, but I can't disappoint my kids. I just can't. Right? I won't. So, so it's defining success on your own terms, but yet you have to be permanent and realize that you, you are going to lose on opportunities, and other people will be receiving awards and, and doing all and everyone will be saying to you, and it's really hard. And I'm like, how come you don't do this? Why don't you do that? Why do you do this? Why do you do that? You just you know, you just have to be firm in your belief.
Kathleen Shannon:Alright, hey, guys, I need to interrupt this episode real quick to talk about our sponsor freshbooks. As you know, we have a big boss Facebook group. And today one of the bosses, who is a freelance writer in that group said this, you guys, I have a major freshbooks victory. A client I've worked with for nearly four years has always mailed me a check each month. But I never knew if it would arrive on the second or the 10th or get lost in the mail. Since I started using fresh books, they've begun to pay online, meaning I'm getting paid the same day I invoice them. They are my biggest client. So it's a huge relief. If you haven't given freshbooks a shot, what are you waiting for? We agree. We are so grateful for our partnership with freshbooks. And we want to thank our listeners for supporting them to stay on top of your business all year long with a clear picture of its financial health with freshbooks. Try fresh books for free today by going to freshbooks comm slash being boss and enter being boss in the How did you hear about us section? So chalene I've been listening to a few of your podcasts on the chalene show and then also on build your tribe. I think I also listened to an interview. Maybe you were on Brian Lewis house School of greatness. Okay. I think I listened to that interview because he's like my guilty pleasure podcast. Listening to his stuff in a room working out. So, um, you were talking about push goals and how you can have all these goals. But there's like the one thing that will help you get everything. Can you talk a little bit about push goals and how it works? Sure.
Chalene Johnson:I think most people, especially people who wouldn't be listening to your listeners are familiar with goal setting and writing out their own goals. I think, you know, it's a small segment, but it's a very important segment of the population who get things done. They are boss, so they get that. So what I figured out though, is that setting a goal once you set goals for yourself, it's kind of difficult sometimes to know which one to go after first. And most often we default to the one that's most important to us. And it's difficult to go after a goal that's very important to us if we're like but how am I going to do that? You know what I mean? Like this? Well, this, that's great that I want to quit my job, but how am I going to do that? So I learned that you have to set goals that make other goals happen, and they might not be as important to you but they're more weighted. So in other words, what I teach people to do is this. You take the 10 areas of your life. Do you want to do this? Yeah, let's Okay. Take out a pen and paper. Okay. Should
Kathleen Shannon:you definitely should let me do my back of my taxes here.
Emily Thompson:Put them to use, right.
Chalene Johnson:Okay, so write down these categories. Okay. I'm sure this will be these will be included in the show notes. Oh, yeah, I'll
Kathleen Shannon:take a photo. I really won't do it on my taxes then. All right.
Unknown:No doubt.
Emily Thompson:Hold it. Emily here for a quick edit to let you know that this upcoming exercise is in fact a downloadable worksheet over on our site, head over to love being boss calm and enter your name and email address and you'll get your goal setting worksheet straight to your inbox. Now back to the show.
Chalene Johnson:Okay, so number one is your physical health. Number two is your mental well being like how how you feel mentally. Okay, number three is your environment. Like where you hang out, like where you live, like some people think of their environment as their home but they're really spending 90% of time at the office. So it's like where are you spend the majority of your time, or you should be spending a majority of your time. Then your finances. Next is family and friends. The next category is your significant other slash love interest. The next category is career slash purpose. And then the next category is growth or getting smarter is I like to call it
Kathleen Shannon:nice.
Chalene Johnson:And then the ninth category is pure joy, slash hobbies like things you just do for pure joy. And then the last category is spirituality. Okay, so now very quickly, you just run down that list and on a scale of one to 1010 being perfection. I'm super happy happy with where things are right now. And one being I, I've missed the mark, I'm not doing well, I know I could be doing better. You give each one of us a score on based on your own definition, like so you might be broke and you're like, I don't care. It's given me, you know, or maybe you for it looks, for example, for your love interest, you might have just broken up with like an awful, terribly abusive man, and you're alone. And still give yourself a nine in that category. Because you're happy that you just finally got what you need. So it's very, very individual. So you quickly give each one of these a score on a scale of one to 10. Go ahead.
Kathleen Shannon:And do they have to be like, Am I ranking them one to 10? No, no, they could like all be fives. Totally not that they are but okay.
Chalene Johnson:And I just want to be clear that sometimes we feel guilty about ranking an area low, but you shouldn't it just means that you you want to do better there. It's important to you. Done.
Unknown:It was time. All right,
Kathleen Shannon:meet you. I'm ready to dine.
Chalene Johnson:Okay, so can you just tell me if the areas you scored? The lowest are actually areas that are really kind of important to you?
Unknown:Yes, yes.
Kathleen Shannon:So my lowest is mental well being Ah,
Unknown:losing it,
Kathleen Shannon:I'm sure. Yeah, absolutely. You know, like, whenever you're growing a business and like being boss, and yeah, 15 month old, like,
Chalene Johnson:Yeah, totally. And we're, well, where else did you score yourself low? What's the next level? You
Kathleen Shannon:know? It's It's funny, because I didn't expect this. But I was just doing it like off the cuff right? environment where I hang like, I love my house, but like they're just earlier today. I was thinking I would love to go through room by room and just like, what can I just do to this room? There are things I'm leaving unfinished. Yeah. And it's taking a backseat. And I'm a Taurus. I love my things. Yeah. And I want my things to be a little more beautiful.
Chalene Johnson:Yeah. Okay, that's awesome. And what did you score? The highest?
Kathleen Shannon:You know, actually said, well, just my significant other.
Unknown:I know, that's good.
Kathleen Shannon:I adore my man. I really like him. And I really like my baby. Like, I would kind of consider him. Well. He's friends and family. Yeah. And then I score pretty high under career and growth, because I feel like I'm in an upswing right there. Right? Yeah. Even though it probably lends to the number four in my mental well being, or sorry, and not necessarily. I gave myself a four. I think the growth in the the career stuff is what's making me feel a little crazy.
Unknown:Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Okay.
Emily Thompson:All right. And for me, let's see, my joy was really low. And just because I don't know what that would be right now. Which is sad, a little bit. So I'll figure that one out. Highest for me was significant other. Also career and family and friends.
Chalene Johnson:Okay, career and family and friends. That's good. And so then where was another low one?
Emily Thompson:Another low one out environment.
Unknown:Okay, that's good. Okay, so me too.
Chalene Johnson:So let's talk about an environment, especially for the two of you. And for people who are listening creative types, our environment is our Mojo. And so you can just change the position of your desk and you're suddenly like, I don't feel like working. I don't, I can't think of anything creative to say like, I don't even want to sit down at this desk. And I think too often we feel like, well, that's a luxury, I'll fix that later. Or I don't have time to redecorate my office or to get a new office chair, I don't need a new office chair, I just need to sit down and work. But when you change your environment, you change the way you feel. And you change your energy and you change the vibration and you change your mental well being. And when you're a creative type, you need to be incredibly creative in a short chunk of time, especially if you're a parent. And so I always tell people, like spend that money, because that is an incredible investment, especially on your workplace. your workplace should just make you feel like you want to go back in there, and you love it. And it just gives you Mojo and it gives you energy and it makes you feel taken care of. It's right. And so that's a really important thing. And for some people, that's their closet, like I can just get people sometimes to just clean out your closet and spend the money on new hangers and have somebody come over Go ahead, do it, spend someone to come over and help you redesign your closet. And it's like, oh, like everything. Like when all the hangers are aligned, and all the shirts are in the same color sequence and it's just like, yeah, look at look at me, I can take on the world today.
Kathleen Shannon:And you know, it's so funny. I did my coaching training with Martha Beck I don't know if you're familiar with her work at all, but she is she's been a column for Oprah and she's really amazing. And one of the tools that she shares is your living spaces and whenever you describe like if you give someone a tour of your home, it can really indicate where issues in your life are. So if your office is a total mess, or if your bedroom is neglected what that might say about your relationship or you know if you're if your office is just the pit and you feel disorganized all the time well yeah probably you know it's funny because i know this yet it's so easy to well
Chalene Johnson:the reason why i suggest that people go through this first before they set goals is this the areas where you've scored the lowest are affecting your happiness and they're important and so when we tell people hey come up with a list of 10 goals we automatically default to the things that you scored the highest so you're automatically going to default to you know those four things you scored the highest that's where your goals are going to be it's going to be around career purpose your husband you know and then the areas where you are really like there's there's like in the back you don't realize if it's really making you unhappy and that's why you feel unbalanced and you didn't set a goal for yourself related to your environment so i start with that first so that your first two to three goals specifically target areas you scored low so you can set 10 goals with just pure reckless abandonment i don't care what they are any area of your life they can all be fitness they can all be work related they can all be spiritual don't matter as long as the first two or three take care of those two or three areas where you score yourself low then you make you fill in the blanks for your other goals your other complete list of 10 goals once you have that complete list of 10 goals then what i ask people to do is to next to each goal ask yourself this one question so write this down and what would it require to do this and most often you can answer that with one of two words accountability or money like almost everything is like oh i just have to force myself to do it or i just have to make more money to do that or i just need the money to make that happen you know just almost every goal with very rare exception falls into one of those two categories like you just need to do it i need to be accountable and do it or i need the money to do it so you take a look at that and you and you figure out like okay now after you look at your list of 10 goals and you go okay so if i want to honor these areas where have scored low and i see that i've got like four that i just need accountability but i've got like six that i really i need to be making more money then you then you look at all those and go you create what i call a very special 11th goal and your 11th goal you create not just off the cuff like the others not like the first thing that comes your mind your 11th goal you look at those other 10 and you go what could i do that would make most of these things happen so for me this year you know i went through my list of goals by the way i love that you said i don't know what a pure joy goal would be for me and a lot of people say that and so i used to call that hobbies and then i changed it because i really some people even a hobby feels like pressure and stress and like okay now i've got to go snowboarding and that costs a lot of money and a lot of time and and i just want people like think of the last time it was you were just like oh this is so yummy i wish i wish i didn't have to leave our wishes would never end for example one of my clients shared with me that her pure joy goal was to have somebody blow dry her hair once a week she's like it's just it's pure joy to have someone else blow dry she's like and i really can't call that a hobby she's like but it's it's such joy i'm relaxed i can actually like it's just it's joy and i don't even know how to describe it and you've finally just given me permission to set a goal to have my hair blow dried once a week you know so whatever crazy thing it is maybe and you shouldn't have any guilt associated with it because there is no objective other than just this feels good you know of course it shouldn't be illegal or immoral but you know if you want to binge watch your reality tv all day saturday once a month and that's pure joy if you go for it if you want to just you know whatever it just is pure joy so for me i set a pure joy goal once a quarter to do a girls trip and that's like really hard for me because i feel like weird when i'm away from my family but if i'm with the right girls and we're like doing something like like this year i took them all snowboarding to utah and that was like pure joy just like only funny girls could go like you have to have a son had to be a sense to have a sense of humor and you can think you're all that and if you're fun and you're in you're okay with not showering for three days and sitting around in our sweats and like eating and snowboarding come on with me you know and it was pure joy
Kathleen Shannon:pure joy i like
Emily Thompson:to work on my pure joy one
Chalene Johnson:yeah so just don't think it's like supposed to be something super special it's just like right just to be take notice the next time you're like this feels really good yeah you know So anyways, you look at all your goals, and then you go. So for me, one of my goals was a pure joy. And the other one was I wanted to help people this year. And instead of making it my focus to help them build their business, I want to help people build their confidence. So that was one of my goals. And then I set a goal to take two solid months off, like and do nothing. And I did that last year, last year, I took off all of December, and I stayed home without a plan, like not to go somewhere, but like, just do nothing. And it was I know, it's gonna sound weird, but my, like, two days into the month, my girlfriend was in a horrible fire. And, and she ended up in the burn unit, and she almost died. And thank God, I'd set that goal because I was able to stay at her bedside 24 seven. And I just kept thinking, like, I can't believe what a gift this is that I get to do this. And she go, you can go, you can go, you don't have to be on like, this is the funniest thing I've ever done. Weird. She totally got it, but like just to like be able to hold a friend's hand and say, I don't have to go anywhere. I don't have to cancel anything, I have to do anything like, you know, just to let God's will take over. And that's what I was just like, that was the most rewarding month of my year song. I want to have those next year. So I take two months off. So then I look at all these things. I'm like, dang, I gotta make a lot more money take two months off. And most of my accountability is with regard to not working more. So how do I do that? Like, how do I make more money and not work more. And so I created a program where I wouldn't have to do a live seminar, it would all be online, and I created a new program that was like a at a better entry level price point for my customers. And I created the courageous confidence club and just made it my goal. My push goal was to have 10,000 people become a part of that club. And we're like, we're way past that mark. Oh, well,
Kathleen Shannon:Congrats. Thank
Chalene Johnson:you. But that what, go ahead.
Kathleen Shannon:I was just gonna ask if we could talk a little bit about confidence. Emily? Yeah, Emily and I were chatting the other day, and you know, off air, and we were like, what is it like for creatives? Like what could we all use a little bit more of to make our lives better? And it boiled down to us to confidence. Yeah. And so that's a huge that's been on my mind and on my heart a lot lately is confidence. And how do I help other people get more of it? I feel like, I don't know if it's where I was raised, or if I was just born with it. But I just don't feel very afraid all the time. But I feel like it's something a lot of people struggle with is this fear and lack of confidence. And so I want to ask you, what do you How would you define confidence? Like, what is it and where do you get it from? Well, it
Chalene Johnson:isn't, it is a muscle and it is an energy. And so you know, you said are you born with it, I think I think we all were born with competence, I think is you know, you probably have friends who have twins or triplets. Yeah. And they're also different, you know, so you can see that there's a component of it, that is rearing and a part of it. That's just DNA. Nonetheless, all of us just like strength, you know, some people are born genetically a little stronger, but we can all develop strength, and we can all develop skills and confidence is a skill. So it's practicing the right exercises that make you stronger, and avoiding the things that make you weaker, which sometimes our people our habits conversations in our head, and and the things that make you weak or physically are to not go to the gym, that's going to make your muscles atrophy. And that makes you weaker. And what's interesting when it comes to confidence is the thing that makes you weaker is to not go and do it. Because when you go and do it actually makes you stronger. And so you want to think about every time you stop yourself from doing something you're actually atrophying your competence muscle. So I walk people through, you know, it's just I've built a program for confidence that feels very much the way I've created exercise programs where, you know, there's the first week where you don't want people to be so sore and so freaked out that they won't do it the next week. But they have a little bit of like, oh, okay, I feel good. I'm looking good. And I teach a lot of people about self awareness what it means to be an introvert or an extrovert and how both of those things are awesome. But what's not awesome is to be outwardly shy as an adult. Whether you are or are not, it just doesn't help. It doesn't help you and doesn't help anybody else. It's okay to be an introvert. It's okay to be an extrovert. But to be shy is a label that we give children that makes us like, Oh, she's shy. You know, it's like a label that we carry. And we'll say, Oh, this this is my this my crazy one and this is our shy one. Right? And when someone hears like, this is our shy one, then everyone goes, Oh, it's cute for like a three year old but if you if I told you Hey, I'm about to introduce you to my really shy French is really shy. You're already feeling uncomfortable. Right? So I think the most important thing To know about being shy is that nobody wants to make other people feel uncomfortable. And so I teach people ways to overcome shyness because it doesn't help you and it doesn't help other people. And it's it's limiting your greatness. So it's recognizing the things that make you come across shy, that you, you're doing unknowingly. And I'm not going to ask you to be like, hey, oh, no, I'm the life of the party. Like, that person's kind of obnoxious. And I don't think that person's confident anyways. Right? Like, there's people who are like, they're so obnoxious that you're like, you're covering up something. Yeah. But I do think it's, I think confidence is to have belief that you are enough. Confidence is a quiet comfortableness that makes other people feel safe around you feel noticed, feel taken care of. Confidence is the person who makes you feel like they have your back, that you're, you're you're in good hands, that they care that they listen, you know, it's not the things that you would think of like, oh, confidence is the person who's the speaker on the stage, it's, it's just quiet confidence is the best kind of competence to
Kathleen Shannon:have. What I love about hearing that is that it's not about you. And it's not about what you're putting out there. It's about what you can do for other people, and how you can make other people feel. And I think that that would meet people who are scared of the idea of showing up and being seen, stop thinking about yourself, and just think about the person that you're talking to and how they're feeling back. And, you know, I want to I want to retract what I said earlier, because I was like, I'm just not afraid that's not true. I can like walk into a room or get on stage and totally feel some fear. And one of the things I've talked about is, I pretend like I have a taxi light on my head. And I don't have to do anything else. But turn on that light, you know, I don't have to think about making eye contact. And I don't have to think about standing up straight and kind of the typical confidence things, all I have to do is imagine that I'm turning on that taxi light, and just walk into the room and set that intention really more than anything, but um, that's my own little trick for calm. I
Chalene Johnson:think that's I think that's very true. And and I love what you just said that, like, I don't have fear. I think what you meant was I have I don't let fear stop me.
Kathleen Shannon:Yes, exactly. Yeah, I
Chalene Johnson:feel the same way. And I and then what you learn and what I teach in the club is that it becomes addicting. Because you're like, Hey, I didn't die.
Unknown:Yeah, you know, and
Chalene Johnson:you're like this. It's like, when you I don't know, if you've ever jumped off of something really high. I just bet that you have.
Kathleen Shannon:I've done skydiving.
Chalene Johnson:Okay. So you know that feeling like just before you jump be like, why am I doing this, right? And then you're like, just do it. And then when you do it, like as you're like going down, you're like, this is so great. And I want to do it again. You know, it's like there's fear, but then you realize, like, I didn't die. And that was fun. And I wasn't that good. But I bet I will be better than next time. And then you just, you know, I teach people how to get addicted to that. Because once you realize like, hey, it just keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger. And then we you know, what you said is like, I have no fear, you almost forget that you have it. Right? Because it's it's that thing that actually actually pushes you out the door of the airplane is fear, because now you rely upon it like fuel. And that's how I feel too. Like I I've got lots of fear, but I never let it stop me. I love fear. I love putting myself in situations where I'm like, I've never done this before. It's freaking me out. And that's why I know I need to do it.
Kathleen Shannon:And that's probably what turned you into a workaholic, though. So like when do you?
Chalene Johnson:Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it turned me into a workaholic. But it definitely is. It's the advantage for an entrepreneur who doesn't fear judgment, or fear making mistake. I never ever, in my whole life I've ever feared making a mistake. So I put a lot of crappy stuff out there and fix it later. I mean, that's just my rule. Like my first exercise video. If you can find them, I will pay you whatever it takes not to show them to anyone. I will find you and I will cook you. Everything I do is like ridiculously awful the first time but I don't care. I just I want to just get it over with and then fix it later. Like everything named something. But yeah, I think I don't know where that came from. I guess my parents aren't perfectionist, but I just see perfectionism as one of the worst fears to have. Because you just you're never gonna you're never gonna be perfect even when it is perfect. It won't be perfect, you know?
Kathleen Shannon:Yeah. All right. Well, we're nearing our end of our session. So just one last question. And that is like, we just maybe you've given us lots of great advice and insights and tips, but is there anything else that you can recommend for our listeners to just be boss? Like, what would you What would you tell them
Chalene Johnson:to pick one? I would say that there's nothing more valuable than a really good coach. You know, invest in a mentor or a coach who but but look but look at them and look at their life and ask yourself do I want that like For example, I'm not going to work with a mentor who's had tremendous success and has blown through four wives. You know, and I just, that's, you know, I don't know if I want those practices. So you I, for me personally, when I look at a mentor, I want to look at every part of their life. Do I agree with their spirituality? Do I agree with her? And I know, people will disagree with me and say, Well, you know, when you pick a mentor, you know, you got to kind of look at just what they do in business. I don't think so. Because I don't know how to separate who I am as a person, when I'm in business versus when I'm dealing with my kids. So when I look at mentors, I really want to know like, Are they a good person? Not? Are they great at marketing? What's their relationships? Like? How's their spirituality? do their kids hate them, you know, like you like these things are important to me. And so choose slowly, carefully. And then that investment will have a great return for you because a great mentor and a great coach will help you be boss in a much faster, more effective, even more cost effective way than you could ever figure out on your own.
Emily Thompson:I agree. Amen. Amen.
Unknown:All right. Well, thank
Kathleen Shannon:you so much. chalene.
Emily Thompson:Emily here. Are you interested in getting coached by Kathleen and me for four weeks? Well, Kathleen and I have huddled together and bundled up Kathleen's DIY coaching for creatives email subscription with my Get your shit together email subscription for a jam packed subscription bundles, billing a ton of our best tips, tricks, tactics and even worksheets, and did 22 emails that will land in your inbox. Over the course of four weeks, we created our subscriptions to help aspiring entrepreneurs live the creative life that they want, which will make building your business all the easier. Find out more at loving balls comm slash bundle. And did you know that you can get exclusive secret episodes of being boss over on our website? Check us out at love being boss calm and enter your name and email to receive a download link straight to your inbox. As a recording date for this podcast. Our first Secret Episode cultivating confidence has been released. And we'll be releasing new secret episodes to our subscribers only each quarter. Download yours now and get in on the secrets at love being boss calm. And finally, thank you very much for listening to being boss from Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon. Find Show Notes for this episode at you guessed it love being boss calm. You can listen to past episodes and subscribe to new episodes on iTunes SoundCloud and Stitcher. If you like our podcast show us some love by reviewing being both on iTunes and sharing it with a friend. Do the work the balls and we'll see you next week.
Chalene Johnson:been super fun ladies. I really do appreciate what you're doing. You guys have a great show. It's awesome.
Kathleen Shannon:Thank you so much.
Emily Thompson:It's been a pleasure pleasure meeting you as well. You are definitely you were actually like very top of our like being last being boss dream. I know really, really work. So thank you so much for coming way who
Unknown:else is on that list?
Kathleen Shannon:You know, I mean, but talk about like picking picking goals and like writing things down. We wrote a list. It's called our hot shit 200 and it's like 200 people that we think are just hot shit and you are on that list.
Unknown:Can you tweet that?
Kathleen Shannon:Yeah. All over. You want us to do like a little asterisk in the No. Yeah, we have a little like e next to our podcast because we kind of sometimes
Chalene Johnson:I listen, my husband's a football coach. It's like I live like with truckers.
Emily Thompson:Good Yeah.
Unknown:flying around.