#82 - Feeling Good in Work & Life

Today we're talking details about the tools we use to feel good in work and life—including our Work/Life Balance Worksheet and our 4 Business Questions Worksheet. We're talking about what it means to feel good in work and life physically, mentally, and emotionally, and we're getting specific about mindset, money, work-life, and growth that gets us there.Topics discussed in this episode:-Coming back from a summer break / pause in recording + what we've been working on lately (1:17)-Checking in with how you want to feel physically, mentally, and emotionally (8:52)-Health care vs. self-care: What the most luxurious self-care looks like for us (11:31)-What makes us feel physically drained (14:29)-Finding your work/life balance mentally: (16:54)-Finding mental separation in work time vs. free time (23:01)-Finding your highest vibing emotion (31:46)-Behave as if you feel connected/confident/boss/happy (36:02)-4 Business Questions (46:06)--Mindset: how do you want to feel?--Money: How much money do you WANT to make?--Worklife: How many hours do you want to work?--Growth: Where will you seek help first?

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Transcript

Emily Thompson: 0:45

hello and welcome to being boss episode number 82 this episode is brought to you by fresh books cloud accounting being boss and work and life is being in it

Kathleen Shannon: 1:01

it's being who we are doing the work breaking some rules and even though we each

Emily Thompson: 1:07

have to do it on our own being boss is knowing we're in it together

Kathleen Shannon: 1:12

so one of my mantras has always been what can i do to get paid today and it's usually what drives my to do list and priorities for the day so if you have some client work you can wrap up get the invoice in front of your client as soon as the work is done with fresh books cloud accounting you can create and send invoices in just under 30 seconds there's no fighting with formatting or fussing with formulas and just fast clean professional looking invoices every single time stay organized and get paid faster with fresh books cloud accounting we use it over here and we love it you can try it for free today by going to freshbooks comm slash being boss and enter being boss in the how did you hear about us section

Emily Thompson: 1:57

alright kathleen we want to talk about today

Kathleen Shannon: 2:00

well we are back from an a pause in recording so we we launched an episode every week obviously but some of those we build up so that we can take a summer vacation so i'd love to just really catch up and see where you've been but also talk a little bit about work life balance and i know it's something that we touch on in most of our episodes but i want to get really explicit about how we set goals around work in life how we check in with how we're feeling physically mentally and emotionally both in our business and at home so that's what i would really like to talk about today what are you wanting to talk about

Emily Thompson: 2:42

same except when you say summer vacation i haven't taken one yet so we've been gone but i've still just been sitting here getting my shit done you went on vacation though legit i

Kathleen Shannon: 2:54

did i did you know it's so funny is last year whenever we were leading up to our summer and i remember we were recording twice a week for a few weeks i remember feeling so burnt out and that actually didn't really happen this year i'm not i'm not really struggling from burnout this time around and i don't know if it's because i've brought more of my like full focus around being boss over the last year and have really intentionally shifted my roles within my own businesses to be able to focus on being boss or if it's i don't know maybe i'm more balanced in working life this year

Emily Thompson: 3:28

oh maybe you are i hope so balanced for you means good things for me um i agree i didn't really feel burnout leading up to this either and of course last june i like hit the road hardcore and so i was like not only was i recording twice a week but i was packing my house and planning an insane road trip so last summer was pretty different for me but i'll also say like not recording i've been working or i've been doing just as much stuff over the past month so even though i haven't like an hour or two or three a week hasn't been done or hasn't been used recording episodes for being boss i'm still here we're still seeing each other's faces constantly

Kathleen Shannon: 4:12

i mean there was one week where we had eight hours of meetings with each other in one week

Emily Thompson: 4:17

yeah no by the end of it we're just like hello again good to see you kathleen

Kathleen Shannon: 4:24

a little bit like what have you been working on

Emily Thompson: 4:26

i'm wrapping up a couple of my last client projects which feels really good to be scooting some of those off of my to do list and just launching some good websites for some clients and and all of that jazz we've been we've been coaching our being boss coaching people which has been a ton of fun so so we've been doing that i've been hanging out with those people for the past three weeks after you handed them off to me what else have i been doing

Kathleen Shannon: 4:55

i want to explain a little bit about that coaching offering real quick go

Unknown: 4:59

for it

Kathleen Shannon: 4:59

alright just because i think it might be interesting for our listeners to hear how and why we decided to do that and we're not it's not like an open program that we're constantly selling but what happened was a couple months ago emily and i decided if we didn't have sponsors if we didn't have like some of the things that we rely on that we don't feel so much in control about how would we make money from this podcast so one of the things we thought is we can always sell one on one work so we decided to launch a super quick offering almost just to test out our own bandwidth and our own offerings and we offered a coaching for coaches offering where we're teaching a couple of other really brilliant coaches who are focusing on nutrition or Life Coaching around how to set up their own business model in a way that sells. So we're really focusing on sales funnels and using worksheets and what else like how to nurture their own tribe in a way that they're, they're selling to them their most nurtured community. So it's been really interesting. I think that we've both decided that we don't probably have the bandwidth to move forward with it, right. Not

Emily Thompson: 6:12

a moment, I've had a ton of fun a ton of I know that you have to like, they've been such great meetings. And we were able to create such a structured package that it was just really easy to deliver it, but also really impactful for the people who were in there. And so it's been really, really fun. A couple of weeks ago, you were like, Hey, we should do coaching again. And I was like, no. And mostly because I'm wrapping up. So my last one, I want to work, and I'd love to have a break. But I absolutely see us going back into doing another round of coaching in the future. And especially because we've created such a such an awesome package to offer people and we've see the impact that it's making with the people that we're working with now. I certainly see it happening again, in the future, just not at the moment Emily needs a break,

Kathleen Shannon: 7:00

I'd be curious to hear how much of our audience is interested in one on one work versus selling digital products versus maybe even if they're a maker or artists selling actual physical products

Emily Thompson: 7:12

or digital products? Because that can be just as easily done as well. Yeah, I will shoot us an email. No, do not add things to my inbox.

Unknown: 7:24

You know,

Kathleen Shannon: 7:25

one of the things that we've become obsessed with behind the scenes is email. I am so obsessed with email right now.

Emily Thompson: 7:33

Yeah, I mean to, we've been, we've been doing a lot of fun things around growing our list and utilizing those lists in ways that are, you know, really helpful for us to get the kinds of information we need from our people, in order for us to create really solid content, but also so that we can just continue to deliver solid condeming. That's the whole goal is delivering solid content to our people. So yeah, we've been doing lots of things around email marketing, putting in some, some sequences, so we can deliver content in a really awesome way. And getting lots of information from our people so that we can continue to make really smart decisions to make all of our listeners and especially our subscribers happy. Your marketing has been a lot of fun and feel like we're talking about it a lot. I'm getting lots of questions from clients about it. And we're getting lots of emails about it. We've been talking about in the clubhouse a lot. So yeah, all kinds of things going on around email marketing, lots of like, jazzy goodness going on there.

Kathleen Shannon: 8:32

All right, let's talk about some work life balance. Yeah, so So speaking of email marketing, I created a worksheet just for our email list. That is all about finding balance. And I know that balance is something that we've all decided is a myth. And that really just whatever is most demanding of your attention, whether that is your work, or your home, or your friends hanging out on the weekend, whatever is most demanding of your attention is where you're where you're going to be putting it right. And so balance is a little bit tricky, but I'm starting to come back around to the idea that maybe there is a balance to be had, I was about to say I'm about to call bullshit.

Emily Thompson: 9:15

Kathleen's there's no such thing as balanced because I think there is now continue,

Kathleen Shannon: 9:19

I think that there is too I just see a lot of articles that like balances a myth and and you know that even at braid creative one of our big focuses is talking about the blend the work life blend. And even here at being boss. We think that being bosses about living a boss life, but I'm starting to come back around to the idea of balance, probably because I've seen a need for it in my own life. And with my love for worksheets, I have decided to create a worksheet just so I can really write my own head around how I can achieve balance in my own life. So I created this worksheet for myself, but I'm, I'm sharing it with the rest of our tribe. And so if you are signed up for our emails, expect that in your inbox probably today. If you're listening to this, and if you're, if you haven't gotten it yet, you can just sign up in the show notes at being boss club, and we will send that worksheet to you. But I decided to break it down to really looking at how I feel physically, mentally and emotionally. I think that and I almost put in spiritually but not everyone jives with that. So kind of emotional and spiritual art combined in one but really looking at these these layers of being and really seeing what is giving me energy and each of these areas and what is draining me in each of these areas. So I started thinking about with my physical body like when do I feel physically healthy and most of them Live and a lot of this is because a lot of the members in our being boss clubhouse we're doing a June whole 30 challenge together. And I know that a lot of people feel just physically awesome whenever they're eating really clean, which you just did a whole 30 a whole set. Also on team.

Emily Thompson: 11:03

It was a whole nine days. Thank you for for airing my dirty laundry there, Kathleen. Um, yeah, so I did a whole 30 there was one day where I got really into work. And we can talk about work life balance around this for sure where I didn't eat lunch. And it wrecked me if like there were five days afterwards where I could not catch up on food. And I was crashing every day. I was taking like two or three hour naps every day after that one day. And so I made myself a big pot of white rice and I dug in and it was magnificent. And then later I had Gumbo and then I had wine the next day. So um, so I did, I made it. I made it 19 days in almost there. But I've done hold 30 multiple times in the past I did, I gave it a good go. I was just hungry. I was just sincerely hungry, and I could not put another sweet potato in my mouth.

Kathleen Shannon: 11:59

I am so stoked that Melissa Hartwig of whole 30 and we interviewed her we'll link to her episode in the show notes, but she is writing a new book yet, which is all about like freedom from I think your food addictions and cravings. We're gonna get her back on the show to talk about that. But we've also been talking a lot to Amy kreski, who's a fellow boss, who we've also interviewed on the show about self care and she has some really interesting views on self care. And one of the distinctive distinctions that she made that I thought was really interesting is the difference between health care and self care. And I realized that a lot of the things that I've physically been doing for my body really should be considered health care, like I was thinking about taking the time to cook my meals and to go work out and to go to the chiropractor or the acupuncturist, that that was self care, when in fact that's just maintaining my health. So it got me thinking what is the most luxurious thing I can do for my body? That is self care. What's up for you, Emily?

Emily Thompson: 13:02

I don't know. Um, I think for me, for me, it's filling up my big tub. And just like and this is like emotional, mental physical, like soaking in a tub full of hot water and Epsom salts like detoxing my body in whatever way I need to like when you know that came out weird. That could come out really weird. All puns not intended, but otherwise enjoy sitting in the no but no. Um, so yeah, for me it's Tub Time. It's taking a moment for myself. I don't do bubbles that's usually a question I get with my big do you like bubble baths? No, I don't know bubbles. A lots and lots of Epsom salt. And just get really relaxed. I love pairing that with like a good a good cup of or is it natural call that like magnesium stuff that puts me on my ass and such a lightweight these days. That, honestly, that's luxurious to me. Quiet Time in the tub full of hot water and Epsom salt.

Kathleen Shannon: 14:07

I haven't had a full body massage since before Fox since before I was pregnant. Snap so over three years. So I booked myself actually my husband booked it for me a massage for this weekend. Oh, that's a demon sauna. So I'm stoked about that. Yeah, looking forward to it.

Emily Thompson: 14:27

David and I got one when we were in Miami. Right after everyone left and I've done two massages quite a bit so David from Mother's Day told me he was like you can either get a massage or go by yourself something fun. I ended up buying myself something fun. Because massages are usually an ongoing part of my life that's like it that's healthcare to me hard like those knots in my shoulders those need to go

Kathleen Shannon: 14:54

so so and really booking this massage was looking at this worksheet and asking myself what what is the most luxurious thing I can do for my body? That feels like an extra. And then what is my plan and it was like more massages? Less blank. So let's talk about the less like what makes you feel physically drained. What wears you out?

Emily Thompson: 15:18

What makes me feel physically drained. Gluten. I like really gluten makes me feel physically drained. So doing whole 30 like, I don't know life biscuits pizza. It happens and we're usually mostly gluten free. My stomach just doesn't like it and it makes me feel like complete and utter shit but life like sometimes there's just a piece of pizza sitting there. That is calling My name. And though we live pretty gluten free, like you're only really gluten free if you're gluten free for like a good 30 days. So that's something doing whole 30 made me realize how off gluten I need to get. And gluten, it makes me sleepy, it makes my brain foggy. It makes me bloated, it makes me cranky and angry. Well, that's PMS. But it's also gluten for me. So what drains my body like physically eating gluten, less gluten in my life.

Kathleen Shannon: 16:21

Mine is working out. And you know that I work out a lot tearing down my body every damn day. So I really have started thinking about the recovery aspects of working out and really focusing on that. So that actually does include things like Epsom salt baths, and massages, and even like cold showers and soaks like we all think about soaking in hot stuff, right. But like, the cold therapy is huge. So I've really been bringing a lot of attention to the rest and recovery period, which is like probably a good metaphor for entrepreneurship also. But really, I'm really combating all the stress that I put on my body with my boxing and my kind of CrossFit style workouts with doing things like yoga and steam and saunas and massages, I just need to put my money where my mouth is, which means putting it in my schedule. And so I think this is a big part of self care and work life balance is that you have to schedule out the the rest and recovery and the play time, just like the work time.

Emily Thompson: 17:35

Agreed, wholeheartedly agree. Alright, so

Kathleen Shannon: 17:39

alright, so covering physical, there is some other stuff when it comes to work life balance, and it's mental. And I so I recently wrote an article about how my career saved my life postpartum. And I know that that sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I really did struggle with some pretty serious postpartum depression that went untreated for a little bit too long. And really, my work is what kept me mentally stimulated and honestly happy. So I think that um, for me, like the work life balance work actually helped me balance out my life. And I think that a lot of people think about it the opposite way. And I wrote an article about that on being boss, which we can link to in the show notes. So I'm curious to hear from you, Emily, like, what is your favorite headspace mentally to be in? And what are you typically doing whenever you're in that headspace?

Emily Thompson: 18:38

Quiet and alone?

Unknown: 18:41

That's such an introvert.

Emily Thompson: 18:43

I know. I know. So definitely being quiet, quiet and alone is where is my favorite space. And I've created some pretty hard boundaries that like allow me to work this into my life. Like, for example, Lily doesn't come out of her room until 8am. Unless she has to pay Of course, I'm gonna allow her use the potty. But she doesn't come out and like greet me or like do things until 8am. And that way in the morning, I can get some quiet and alone headspace. Because if I don't have that I cannot function. Or David and Lily recently went on a camping trip together. And I had like four days alone. And it was glorious. It was so fantastic being in the house alone. And so yeah, my favorite headspace is quite alone. And I do what I need to do to work that into my into my life. So yeah, quiet and alone as much as possible. What about you? I feel like Well, probably running around something.

Unknown: 19:43

I think that

Kathleen Shannon: 19:45

I love whenever I'm feeling enthusiastic about a new concept. So you know, I was talking earlier about being obsessed with email marketing. And it can it can almost heater towards the draining side because sometimes I feel like I was mentioning this in our being boss clubhouse the other day to some of our fellow bosses that I feel like our work right now is a big jigsaw puzzle. And I'm just trying to like, unlock the code. Now I'm mixing my game metaphors, but it feels like a big game and in an actual good way. Like my my work feels like a game that I'm just really trying to unlock the code. But with email, I think it's just creating content, like I am happiest whenever I am. Maybe happy isn't actually the right word, but I feel productive and creatively aligned and fulfilled whenever I'm either writing content, or having conversations and creating content like a podcast for example, or creating new products with you Like podcasts like a boss, or focusing on the brain method ecourse those things make me feel so good and alive. But then also I love whenever I'm in a time in my life where I'm learning, I'm learning something new that I didn't even know existed. It's kind of the same feeling that you get whenever you watch a really good movie for the first time. And you're like, how did I not watch this before? And then being jealous of other people who get to watch it for the first time? Do you forget that? No.

Emily Thompson: 21:17

I love that. So So okay, you feel great, or you feel fulfilled? I guess, when you are creating things, though, when, like, when do you What are you creating things like because I feel productive when I'm quiet and alone. And I can sit down, I can just hammer things out. I'm creating content is super jazzy. But like, I need like super quiet and focus, whereas other people don't mind like they like the interaction and talking to people is what gets them jazzed up. Like, I understand that you feel most creative when you're creating things. And of course, great. But like, what gets you to that place where you're like, it is time for me to sit down and make this thing for us like post workout?

Kathleen Shannon: 21:57

Oh, gotcha. Okay, I see what you're saying. Um, oh, hey, this is gonna sound really weird. Whenever I'm driving or walking, I get the most ideas, or right after a really stimulating conversation or right after I read a book where I'm learning something that I just can't wait to implement. But like you, I actually really do need that quiet and alone space. So for example, the other day, my husband stayed home from work, and he was kind of doing some stuff. And he was just standing in the kitchen, which is where my office is, like eating a spoonful of almond butter. And I started to get I was like, I gotta go to a coffee shop. Even though a coffee shop is by no means quiet and alone. There's not this expectation that like, I knew I was

Emily Thompson: 22:45

going to hold a conversation,

Kathleen Shannon: 22:47

hold a conversation or like be asked something like, what do you want to do for lunch? I think we're talking with some clubhouse members. Or maybe it was even in the Facebook group that like, I can make decisions like a boss all day long. But ask me a question about what we're gonna eat. And I'll lose my shit, like, a break.

Emily Thompson: 23:07

Those are the arguments that David and I get into end of day, like, I've made decisions all day. He's like, what do you want to eat? I'm like, I don't know, make the decision for me. And it becomes a very tense conversation food. Definitely, definitely the pain point in my life. But I

Kathleen Shannon: 23:22

will say like, all the things that mentally stimulate me, and so all those Creative Conversations and all the writing and all of the making of the content. That's also whenever I'm like, Oh my god, I'm so tired. And I think just like working out, I love working out. I love boxing. I love lifting heavy weights. But it's draining, right. It's a physical stressor on my body. And just like work like work as much as I love it can be so mentally draining. And I think that's where I'm having a hard time with, with some work life balance is that I'm always on in my head with work. I'm constantly thinking about it. Like do you ever turn it off?

Emily Thompson: 24:03

Oh, absolutely. You get me on my front porch on Saturday, and actually has happened recently. And David comes and I'm just like, chillin on the front porch. Like, such as Southern

Kathleen Shannon: 24:15

and you're not thinking about like, I'm not what email?

Emily Thompson: 24:18

No, I mean, like I do sometimes I do seminars but quite often I'm not interested in there I porch I'm hanging out lilies coming in and out and I'm you know, drinking some water or maybe some sweet tea that happens occasionally. And David, I'll come in and be like, Hey, I just got this email from this person who's having problems with this checkout thing and what email sequence goes out and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Huh, like, I can't even follow what you're asking me right now. Whereas any other day of the week, I'm like, yeah, this is happening. This is happening. You're gonna do this and go fix it now. But like, my weekend, I turned it off really hardcore, like really, really hardcore and I can't even process business thoughts. Like it's, it's a little entertaining. David finds it a little bit like disconcerting. He's like, are you okay? Are you playing dead? And I'm like, No, I just turned it off. So I have I have cultivated the ability to turn it

Kathleen Shannon: 25:09

off and it's okay, but what are you thinking about whenever you're not thinking about work? This is my big struggle. Okay.

Emily Thompson: 25:16

I'm watching the squirrels and I'm looking at that bird come to our

Kathleen Shannon: 25:21

see you're just like Zen present.

Emily Thompson: 25:24

Yeah, I'm in it. I'm in it right here right now and it's glorious. Or honestly I'm just flicking me off right now. You can flick me off if you want. I know I have figured this shit out guys. And it is

Kathleen Shannon: 25:40

literally flipping me off oversight because like, why?

Emily Thompson: 25:45

Yeah, yeah guys I've found that I have it exists on my front porch just comes in on my front porch with me, you'll find it too. But legit, like, I can turn it off. And it can be hard for me Actually, it's not hard for me to switch it back on Monday morning, it just comes right back on and I'm in it. And at that point, it can be really hard for me to go turn it off. When I'm in the middle of it. Like for example, I go out and eat lunch on the front porch quite often during the day. And I'm usually sitting out there like staring out at the road or whatever. And David's like what are you thinking about? I'm like, have a coaching call in a few minutes. I'm trying to figure out like how I'm going to whatever. And so at that point, it can be really hard for me to turn off the my weekends or my happy place. Like I just, I don't know how I do it, but it happens and it's glorious.

Kathleen Shannon: 26:35

And I feel like my work is my happy place.

Emily Thompson: 26:39

Good. Well, no, my front porch is my happy place like and maybe this is where we really talk about that work life balance. And that like I work from home, I'm going from my studio to my kitchen and 12 steps flat. Like I mean, there's a pretty big gray zone that is the line between my life and work. But if I know there was a divide, though, like I have work when I'm here I'm here like that door is closed. If only comes in here, I snap my fingers and she's gone. Because like I'm at work, but I but I can also just walk away from it and and be totally happy with not sitting in front of my computer screen. And I think that's really where the divide is. For me. When I'm at my computer screen. I am working. I recently came in here and during the evening to get on the computer to like look at Etsy, like I wanted to look at something and David comes in He's like, Oh my god, are you working? And I'm like, No, I'm actually surfing the internet. Like I'm just playing on my computer and it's

Kathleen Shannon: 27:41

weird. He was like, my iPad is for like my laptop is for work and my iPad is for surfing the internet

Emily Thompson: 27:49

right we'll see and like my iPad is dead half the time because because I'm usually working on it from bed like I need to keep a good divide between the two or else there is too much of a bland or a blend that I can't escape I like escaping work sometimes like I like not thinking about it and just being Emily on the front porch drinking her sweet tea and chatting with a kid about whatever and watching the squirrels do it.

Kathleen Shannon: 28:14

And you know I think that my work life balance comes a lot in working out I think that if you've listened to this show at all or you know me at all, you know that I love working out and I have been able to blend my workouts into my work day. And I think that that's where like I'm getting on daily hit of the my hobby, right which is probably working out. But I think that this like weekend situation is where I really crave. I think it's I think it's why I want to live in a more beautiful place. Yeah, honestly, like I think that I would have more of that. Let's just shut it down and be in nature. I think that that's what I'm really craving and that's why I want to move out of Oklahoma

Emily Thompson: 28:56

girl I said I'm just ready for you. But hey, guess what? I made a decision and I packed my first box and I'm like half an hour. But how do you keep talking about it? You just keep going now

Kathleen Shannon: 29:06

I do and it's my Okay, so I was actually listening to the terrigen Tilly interview with Danielle Laporte. I listened to that, by the way, thank you for recommending it was pretty fascinating. And they're both just big inspirations in my life. And we've actually been working with Tara Gentilly one on one which has been really awesome. He's fab in helping to level up our business. Um, but I was listening to her episode, and she was talking about feeling unworthy of something. I think that Danielle Laporte basically has this vision of being a rock star, like we're talking being on stage, and I don't know if she's actually if it's like more of a spoken word kind of poetry situation, or if it is. Yeah, I don't, I don't know a lot about it. But anyway, she was talking about it. And she said something about I just don't feel worthy of that vision yet. And she's talking about this is really interesting, practicing being worthy. Like whenever she was younger, it was usually focused on material things like she would go into a really fancy department store and asked to hold that $10,000 Tom Ford purse and just feel what it felt like. And so hearing Danielle Laporte, who I really admire, talk about not feeling worthy. I had kind of an aha moment listening to this podcast where I thought maybe I don't feel worthy enough of moving out of Oklahoma and like, I'm the youngest child. Yeah, like I am youngest child totally spoiled brat. I don't think that I'm not worthy of anything like I I feel worthy of having my own television show which is like a big dream for being boss. I want being boss have a television show. Yeah. Anyway, um, like i feel like those things are in my future but it made me wonder i wonder if i don't feel worthy of moving out of the midwest and i don't i'm still exploring that maybe i should go talk to a therapist about it

Emily Thompson: 30:57

it's really interesting that you say that i would love for you to continue to explore that because i do think we've talked about this privately a couple of times i think if you lived somewhere beautiful your life would change in ways that you can even expect because i've been to oklahoma city i came to visit your neighborhood is really cute but oklahoma is an ugly place or and not that it's ugly and like not hating on oklahoma america the beautiful right but there are more beautiful places in this country in this world yes absolutely country even stay here do it it will do you some really good good we went up to rock city just yesterday i'm sending up there like looking out like seven states in front of me and i thought of you i thought of you i looking out on this beautiful this thing gain like how much better my life has been since moving here and not that alabama like where i lived was ugly because it was beautiful as well alabama the beautiful but i don't know i think about you a lot and dusty old oklahoma

Kathleen Shannon: 32:00

and there are some few there are a few factors around it and one of it is jeremy's job one of it is having a two year old and having a support system around that and then the rest of our family so those are they're definitely roots and ties here that

Emily Thompson: 32:15

their roots in ties but they're also excuses

Kathleen Shannon: 32:20

excuses anyway sorry to go on off on

Emily Thompson: 32:24

to talk about this more privately in the future okay so let's let's get back to

Kathleen Shannon: 32:31

self care like there's the physical and then there's the mental what gives you mental energy and then what drains you mentally and then finally is on this emotional level and so i was trying to think about like what is the highest vibing emotion i can feel and for me it's feeling connected and i think that's why i love having these conversations with you and long road trips with my husband and just thinking about times and right feel the most connected also feels the most like love right so what is like your highest vibing emotion that you feel so when you feel it when do you feel it same

Emily Thompson: 33:08

connection like okay so we're talking about mental mentally draining for me is meetings like whenever i have a day full of meaning where i'm just talking me and taking information and having to output information like i'll get to the end of those days and doubted like hey you want to read this thing and i'm like oh my god i can't even like you cannot put any more information in my brain so that's really draining to me for the moment but it's also super like emotionally fueling like i end those days knowing that i got shit done in some way like i put things into motion or i inspired someone to get shit done or like whatever it is i think that again that connection talking to people doing the things that gets done whenever you are conversing with someone and especially on someone on your level like whenever i think about the most emotionally happy i have been especially in the past like two years our boss vacations like yes yeah leaving those vacations and having had those conversations and is like they wear me out but i'm just trucking along like every every time we do one like those last couple of meals we have it our bosses they look at me they're like oh my god emily how are you still sitting here and i'm like i am just going off of love right now like is fueling me in ways i never even thought it could super draining but the most emotionally gratifying thing i can do is hanging out with those people and talking about the things that we talk about whether it's business or life because both come up that's it for me love it

Kathleen Shannon: 34:47

and speaking of meetings and work life balance i have just now like within the last few months accepted that meetings are work like i am trying to cram all the work on top of meetings and whenever i say work i mean like sitting down and writing or actually implementing all the things that we're planning a meeting about and i also did a blog post i really enjoyed writing on the on the being boss website all about what our hustle looks like and the hustle for me does not look like recording a podcast or having a planning meeting it is sitting down and doing the work so i explain what that means in that episode and we will link to that in our show notes as well but i've just not accepted that meetings our work and i it's given me a lot of grace to open up more space to do the work that fuels me the most and meetings as much as I'm an extrovert dreamy, also. And so, Emily, you take Thursday's off of meetings, and I've been clearing my Thursdays as well. I've been trying to clear my Fridays too. And I really been implementing acuity scheduling whenever it comes to, like the coffee chats that I have, and really using it almost as my bouncer. I think of it as like, my, my, to my time, good Oh, anyway, but emotionally, I feel the most connection, for sure in work at our boss vacations, and even in the clubhouse, like, train and bring, like, whenever we have our monthly mastermind calls with our clubhouse members, I just am trying to bring that vibe that we've been able to create through the podcast, and then offline in our vacations. back online into the clubhouse. And so that kind of emotional feeling definitely drives the stuff that I'm trying to make. One thing that I was thinking about a lot too, is that whenever I'm emotionally feeling really great, how do I behave? Because a lot of times emotionally, I don't feel great. And a lot of that comes with being a new mom and being sleep deprived. I think that that's been like definitely a big emotional struggle in my life, right? But I can still behave as if I feel really good. And so what that means is I'm doing the work, I'm making eye contact, I'm complimenting strangers. So I'm curious, like, how do you behave whenever you feel really good. And I think that the big like, action or challenge for our listeners is to behave as if you feel connected, or you feel confident, or you feel totally boss, or you feel in love, like how do you behave? Oh, that's

Emily Thompson: 37:35

why I'm like, a glass and a half deep of wine and wine. Is that how I behave? I think? Um, yeah, I probably like just generally more open and happy and smiley and giggly and welcoming and all, like a glass and a half deep, at least. Um, yeah. Oh, that's a sweet thing to think about. It makes me want to, like, intentionally behave that way more often.

Kathleen Shannon: 38:05

For sure, no, it's hard. It's, it's kind of tricky to remember. And so that's why I definitely why I included it on the worksheet is that I don't have to emotionally feel happy or content or in love, or it's totally connected to behave that way. So like, even this is going to get really personal and vulnerable. But like, let's say even within my marriage, let's say I'm not feeling like super duper in it, because we're both new parents just trying to get by, but I would behave as if, like, I'd be cuddling on the couch or offering him a drink or you spooning him in the middle of the night. Like, that's how I behave whenever I feel in love. And so I can behave that way. Even whenever I'm not like super duper feeling it and same with work to like, we get asked this all the time. Like how do you keep moving even whenever you're in a work funk? And it's just cave as if you're not in the work fine.

Emily Thompson: 39:03

vollen keep going, basically. Um, yeah, I think I think that's a really good tip and, and one that will work in, in life and in work. Absolutely. Because I mean, not everything is always sunshine and daisies, it's very rarely actually sunshine and daisies, we can pretend like it is all the time and it'll be just about the same. I want to dive into some business things. So we've talked a lot. Let's talk a lot about personal like glass and a half deep. I don't usually work with wine. I don't know. No, I don't. I'm just kidding. Back when I designed a lot more I would I think I probably get design better or whatever. I'm a little drunk, maybe. But I also just can't drink the way I used. Okay, you

Kathleen Shannon: 39:49

know what this reminds me whenever I first started working for myself, coming home and having like coming home, I would always have a glass of wine after work. And it was such a trigger to come home and have a glass of wine that I remember when I first started working for myself from home. It would be the middle of the day after eating lunch. I feel like now Can I have a class? I was so triggered by my space. That was a hard habit to break.

Emily Thompson: 40:16

I bet that's really funny. Did you drink more or less after you started working for yourself?

Unknown: 40:24

Um, well,

Kathleen Shannon: 40:26

I didn't have a drink until I was about 25. I was a late bloomer whenever it comes to that sweet but I mean I guess I was just pretty consistent probably. I was pretty consistent with having a glass or two of wine every day. Up until I got pregnant and then I've I've been able to break it since i don't need that glass of wine every day yeah i can have now i probably have a drink or two a week good is where i'm at

Emily Thompson: 40:52

good

Unknown: 40:52

partly because i'm old like i have a hard time recovering

Emily Thompson: 40:55

i know i cannot drink the way i used to in no way shape or form i can think about booze without getting a hangover um alright so we have talked though about lots of lots of life things and the thing i really want to point out here is whenever it comes to work life balance the way you feel in life is the way you're going to fill in work whenever you're working for yourself this way like and and i have i have this friend who works for a corporation and who he is at work is completely different from the who he is at home like in his life and like i've seen it kind of happened and it's really weird to watch i know there's a way to divide it to have this complete and utter weird division between who you are at work and like what your life is like there and how you feel and coming home and being this whole other person with these whole other experiences and mindset like i know that's the thing i'm pretty sure that may be like a precursor to some like personality disorders maybe not maybe you can just rock it but whenever you are working for yourself there is such a blend that it's hard to see the divide but i do think there is a balance i know that as much as i love sitting on my front porch if you put me out there for too many hours like if you give me two days you're like emily all right you're gonna have to zen out on your porch for two days by the end of it i'm ready to get my ass to work because there is this bad like i can't enjoy too much life without enjoying some work to fuel the life and vice versa so let's talk about some work things unless you have some things that you want to say well

Unknown: 42:34

i was just

Kathleen Shannon: 42:35

gonna follow that up by saying i did recently go on vacation on a summer vacation which is the one that i go on every year with my family and i felt a little bit i didn't feel entirely present on my vacation like i have in the past because i've been in such a work zone so and i don't know that that's you know good or bad i'm just not going to judge it and it is what it is but it's just interesting to think that we do have seasons and seasons our daily or weekly or even really about seasons of life and like really that work life balance like maybe my 30s is for hustling it out workwise and in my 40s i can enjoy life more

Emily Thompson: 43:16

maybe let's have a goal that we can both retire by the time we're 40 done

Unknown: 43:21

done okay so business

Emily Thompson: 43:23

okay getting back to business business um so well okay before we get to business though even steel i recently did a blog post on that being boss blog about mandatory lazy days which i think is i think is a perfect thing to point out right now where david and i will occasionally do this thing or hustling out and like i talked about i also did a post on the work and life hustle because i think you can hustle at work where you're answering emails and doing your task and like in working like working your job hello this is the thing you get paid but you also hustle life in my life has looked like going to the grocery store like that for me is a hustle having to do that or going on vacation because there's no hustle like the walt disney world hustle like that shit is real so like there is a good balance i think between the word hustle and life hustle and i try to have a good have a good mix there i do do no meetings on thursdays because i'm usually like like i'm grocery shopping on thursdays or i am super work hustle hustling that doesn't look like meetings so that was a blog post i did recently about the difference between work and life hustle and how you should be doing both in order for you to have a balanced life because if you're only work hustling you're not life hustling your life sucks and you've only life hustling and you're not work hustling you're not making any money but i also did one on mandatory lazy days and this idea that as you are hustling you're working life constantly sometimes usually the moment and dave and i started implementing these probably about a year or two ago where we just be like dude i need a mandatory lazy day and i don't know how it how we came up with that name but we'll literally look at our calendar for an upcoming saturday or sunday we have nothing going on and we will not leave our pajamas like we will set it we won't go grocery shopping i don't care how hungry you are like you're gonna go eat those crackers that are in the cabinet because we're not going anywhere are you going to order pizza or we we won't do anything but lay on the couch and like play things on our phones or do a lord of the rings marathon or something and those days where i'm not allowed to do anything other than just rest and be lazy by the end of it i am so fueled and recharged to like get going with whatever it is that i have to do that i'm totally ready to hit up the farmers market or answer all those emails or get that newsletter written or whatever it is i think that sometimes sometimes you do have to turn off work Life so hard to just rest there for a mandatory lazy day. You get to that next level and Tetris like a boss, whatever it may be. And

Kathleen Shannon: 45:54

are you playing Tetris?

Emily Thompson: 45:55

No, I played two dots.

Kathleen Shannon: 45:57

Um,

Unknown: 45:58

that's my jam.

Kathleen Shannon: 46:00

For a while. I've been playing Tetris lately. Have you?

Emily Thompson: 46:02

I love Tetris. I have one game on my phone and just two dots. I will not allow myself to download another one. And I I met the top of two dots like yeah,

Kathleen Shannon: 46:12

I feel like maybe I finished two dots. That was a big one for me for a while.

Emily Thompson: 46:16

Yeah, well, they released new ones occasionally. So I'm currently in a moment where I've beaten everything and I'm waiting for the next update. This is my life is the only one I have on my phone. I play one round the mornings and one round the evenings and that's it. Um, but anyway, so some blog posts for you life and work hustle over in the being boss blog, as well as mandatory lazy days. Both are very important for me in terms of finding a work life balance because I do believe it's such a thing. Now business. Quickly, you ready for this?

Kathleen Shannon: 46:47

I'm ready, because I also fire right fire business section.

Emily Thompson: 46:51

I also did a blog post recently on four questions you can ask yourself to set some good goals for your business. But I also think it's totally for your life as well. So let's go first, your mindset. Kathleen, how do you want to feel unique?

Kathleen Shannon: 47:06

One of the guys sound like I sound like a millennial right now.

Unknown: 47:11

I just do a little hipster. I just want to feel special. What about you?

Emily Thompson: 47:16

I saw a thing on Instagram. The other day was like you hipsters what happens when you tell all of your children? They're special? Basically, yeah. Yeah, I want to feel fulfilled. So I want to love all of the work that I'm doing and have it be fulfilling to me not just shit that I'm getting done. Because then when someone tells me I need to do it. All right. Next question your money. How much money do you want to make?

Unknown: 47:42

Half a million dollars? When?

Kathleen Shannon: 47:45

next year?

Emily Thompson: 47:47

Oh, like games?

Unknown: 47:48

You like that? I

Emily Thompson: 47:49

love that. That's a good goal. You put that on your chalkboard? And we will all

Kathleen Shannon: 47:52

right. Let's get realistic here. I would like to make $250,000. That's a lot. And I want to point out, I even feel bad saying that number out loud. Because I think Don't you dare apologize? Well, the deal is that maybe I even wrote about this recently on the being boss in a blog post. What are those calls,

Unknown: 48:18

a blog post,

Kathleen Shannon: 48:18

what is what is a blog post called, I wrote about this recently, where I was comparing what I was making to what other people are making. And I remember whenever my big dream was to make $60,000 a year, and someone else's like I couldn't even afford to live in a ditch for $60,000 a year. And I thought I did. And then all of a sudden I felt really invalidated about my business goal. And so I just want to point out here that a lot of our listeners, their biggest goal is within five figures, low to mid five figures. And it's usually just enough to pay the bills doing what they love. So I'm definitely at that point where I can pay the bills doing what I love, I would like to make enough money. And the reason why I say this is I would like to make enough money to just feel like I can create anything I want to create with a certain amount of financial security, and that maybe my husband could quit his job and pursue his dream. So whenever I say that number 250,000. That's basically how much I would want to make to feel secure enough to make anything I wanted at any point and for my husband to quit his job.

Emily Thompson: 49:24

Nice. I mean, that's that's a huge thing to point out. Um, I for me, I was talking to David the other day. So part of part of this and there's a whole worksheet to go check out the blog post, we'll have the worksheet in the blog post in the show notes for this is you have to know your numbers in order to like really be able to answer this question. And for any business owner, hello, your business owner know your numbers. However, I didn't know my numbers. I have a David for that. So I had to have a chat with David. And I was like David like for the rest of the year. And so I set my goal for how much money do I need to bring in until the end of 2016. For us to just be happy, like continue living, pay your mortgage, can you do sitting or climbing Diem and all those things, but also paying like maxing out retirement and those sorts of things. And he said 50,000 would do it. 50,000 is all we need for the next six months to continue to live the way we live plus lots of retirement. So knowing your numbers is really important. Like I would be interested to see if you actually knew your numbers if your number would still be 250,000

Kathleen Shannon: 50:31

Yeah, so actually I have crunch my numbers are good to be to be independently wealthy where I could live off of interest. I need $3.25 million to live off of 100 $50,000 a year in interest so i've absolutely crunch my numbers do i need 250,000 no not yet far far less than 250 and i need a fraction of that probably a fifth i could probably live off of the comfortably $50,000 a year in oklahoma would my husband be able to quit his job no anyway all i'm saying is i want$250,000 a year that would make me feel so boss perfect and that's big dreaming

Unknown: 51:17

good i see everything apollo apollo

Kathleen Shannon: 51:20

gonna do is number one allow you to do it just goes to show that is uncomfortable to talk about money out loud but it's important which is why we're doing it here

Unknown: 51:28

okay

Emily Thompson: 51:28

next question next question your work life how many hours do you want to work and we'll say a week

Kathleen Shannon: 51:36

well i love work right now and i'm definitely in a in a place where i love putting in the hours but i would say six hours a day which would add up to servings by 3030 hours a week feels really good and if that means even that i'm working for four days like eight hours a day for four days and then taking a three day weekend that feels really good and that's like straight up work that doesn't include taking time for lunch that doesn't include taking time for working out that is just straight up i'm sitting at my computer working

Emily Thompson: 52:11

i'm 25 i'm doing about 3035 at the moment and i cannot look at a computer screen anymore like i'm really starting to feel the effects of spending over a decade sitting in a chair with my fingers on a keyboard looking at a computer screen so for me 25 is where i want to be by the end of summer and i think it's totally doable that's what i want i'm making bank my bank only working 25 hours a week

Kathleen Shannon: 52:41

okay wait how much money do you want to make i know you said 50,000 over the next six months but like how much money do you want to make a year

Emily Thompson: 52:48

right um for me to what's bank

Kathleen Shannon: 52:51

what's making bank working 25 hours a week

Emily Thompson: 52:54

me only working 25 like if i could really build an empire only working 25 hours a week i feel like a failure is 100 like that would be fine with that i don't i don't need or want and i do want i could need plenty more but i don't want to i don't want to be one of those like entrepreneurs who's working their life away like i want to live my life now and i'm willing to live more cheaply to live my life now if that means i'm not wasting my porch sit in time sitting in front of this goddamn computer so that's how i feel

Unknown: 53:31

less what's what's the last question

Emily Thompson: 53:34

all right your growth because i think this one's super important is for you to reach the goals you've previously mentioned i want you to set a goal for where you will seek help first

Kathleen Shannon: 53:47

you go first

Emily Thompson: 53:48

okay mine is from david i needed to cook dinner because what i'm doing right now is i'm creating a digital product for indie shepaug graphy and i gave up a trip to bali which is a secret episode in the clubhouse you guys missed the whole conversation if you're not in the clubhouse but i decided not to go to bali where i was going to spend two weeks just sitting down writing a digital product that i wanted to deliver by the end of summer i decided not to do that for for lots of reasons lots of really good reasons i'm very happy with the decision but i need to work on it and here now and i've told david that what he needs to do for me to make that happen because i'm not going to bali to do it and being taken care of while i'm there as i need him to cook dinner i need to not have that conversation about food i need someone to make it for me so that i can just work without having to worry about putting food in my mouth and then i can make my$50,000 and then be happy and only work 25 hours a week and then i'll go back to cooking dinner so what about you

Kathleen Shannon: 54:58

well i mean i feel really lucky that we have a team of support that is really helping us and i feel like this year has been a huge year of growth for us where i've been seeking a lot of help from our team and doing a lot of delegating and giving up a lot of control over the things that i like to have control over so even seeking help and getting contributors for being boss club or seeking help of terrigen tilly who's incredibly brilliant to get another set of eyes on my business and so i think that i've been doing a good job of asking for help and are you telling me that you need no more help right now i mean i feel like i could use help Just around, like if someone could just map out a plan and tell me what to do. Oh, yeah, but I feel like you know, I even asked you for that a lot. I'm like, Hey, you test this out? Or could you map this out in Asana and tell me what I what it is I need to do you know, I, I'm just trying it. Maybe I just need to acknowledge myself that I've been doing a good job of asking for help. And I also wrote an article that's been going viral locally here about why daycare is awesome. And so I've been doing a good job of asking for help around my personal life. I mean, I'm with you on the dinner thing. I can have some help around. But the thing is that my husband already does all the laundry, and all the dishes and he's very like hands on with our kid, probably even in some ways more so than I am lately. So I get a lot of help. And I'm just going to express gratitude for that help. So thank you, Emily, thank you to our being boss team, including Caitlin brame. And Jessica bramblett. And of course, David who counts our beans. And I and he started cooking me beans, sister Tara, and then Cory, of course, for editing and helping us with our site. I mean, we get a lot of help. And it's been so great.

Emily Thompson: 57:01

So we do and I think we do do a good job asking for help. And but I also know that for so many creatives, it's not something that they're really into doing at the moment. So if you guys would like to download the worksheet that lays out these questions, check out our show notes at being boss, dot club, give it a download and answer these questions for yourself. I like to revisit questions like this often quarterly, probably at least quarterly every six weekly. Whenever we're daily guys. not even kidding. I have different feelings every day. Um, so yeah, go check that out, give it a download, answer the questions and get work.

Kathleen Shannon: 57:43

Kathleen here I wanted to pop in because I've been getting asked a lot what my role I've read creative is now that being boss has taken off so much. And I wanted to let you guys know that branding, business visioning and coaching creatives to blend more of who they are into what they do while positioning themselves as confident creative experts is still a huge part of my work in my life. At Bri creative, I'm still giving my team creative direction and putting my stamp of approval on every single project behind the scenes. But a big part of my role there is helping to create the braid method branding ecourse This is something I'm super passionate about. And what this ecourse does is it helps creatives who can't quite hire Bree creative one on one, work on their own brand and their own business vision. We have ecourse book, a ton of exercises and even audio files so that you can learn on the go. The ecourse is now open to new students only until August 8. Learn more at read creative calm and click ecourse in the main menu. Thank you for listening to being boss. Please be sure to visit our website at being boss club where you can find Show Notes for this episode. Listen to past episodes and discover more of our content that will help you be boss and work and life. Did you like this episode, please share it with a friend and show us some love by leaving a rating and review on iTunes.

Emily Thompson: 59:07

Do the work be boss and we'll see you next week. You're gonna do to wrap up. I gotta go. Yeah,

Kathleen Shannon: 59:29

I mean, that's it. Done Done. Bye. All right. Bye.

Unknown: 59:37

See ya. Perfect.