spk_2:   0:03
welcome to our podcast at gutsy conversations over 50. This'd Susan this'd Heather, and we're too bad ass women who just happened to be certified professional coaches. We love our bold and courageous community who are not afraid to show up for real and vulnerable as we will embrace the second half of our lives. And here's the scoop. We've made it past 50. We've had our fair share of challenges and life's setbacks. But guess what way? Survive. In fact, we thrived. Absolutely. So here's to getting gutsy. Oh, yeah. So hello. It's Heather. Hi, this is Susan. Today we have a gas named Peggy. And Becky has recently lost her husband, and she has courageously decided to share a little bit of what she's been going through, um, over the last few weeks. So Peggy, welcome.

spk_0:   1:08
Thank you. Thank you for having me

spk_1:   1:10
so picky. You share a little bit about how long you and Jerry were married.

spk_0:   1:14
Well, we we started as a blind date. Uh, tomorrow will be

spk_1:   1:19
on

spk_0:   1:20
Valentine's. Steak will be 50 years that we've known each other

spk_2:   1:24
on.

spk_0:   1:25
And marriage has been 48 years

spk_2:   1:29
incredible to place Children. And when exactly I'm Sorry. Just just to clarify when When did your husband pass away?

spk_0:   1:38
Uh, last month, January 15.

spk_1:   1:43
Okay. Just so recent of the two. So you would have been tomorrow. You would have been together for 50 years. Yeah, that's an incredible year. Right there. Right.

spk_0:   1:53
How it is. Uh, definitely.

spk_2:   1:55
Just so you know what? What would you like to share with Susan and myself and our community? About your story about what's what you're going through right now? Well,

spk_0:   2:08
the whole thing kind of started with, uh, him having illnesses as bond and bronchitis COPD and I was always concerned about Oh, and he had sleep apnea, but he never dealt with it. I've never dealt with mine, and I think I should. But going to the time of that that day, I was going to go to the gym, and I just don't really felt comfortable, uh, going if he was not doing well.

spk_2:   2:44
So

spk_0:   2:44
he had gotten that terrible cough when he was in New York, where everything just laid in his chest. Annie did a nebulizer. You're the, uh, Bay Plaza. And then I at 4 30 in the morning that 11. 30 he did it again. But after he finished with his deputizing, his, uh, bone kills started to you said it felt like a blowtorch with, uh, it is a test.

spk_2:   3:14
Any

spk_0:   3:14
time he I put his hands, it's best to just kind of, like, breathe. He would just be in pain. It seemed to subside. Then it would come back again.

spk_1:   3:29
How long was he sick with COPD For

spk_0:   3:31
a long time,

spk_1:   3:32
Okay.

spk_0:   3:33
I mean, not necessarily. The COPD was definitely the

spk_1:   3:38
Okay,

spk_0:   3:39
Okay. And men, I would say recently it became more COPD, but not to the point where he needed any external devices to breathe. When he ignored, I would I would record it's snowing. But when he had the sleep apnea and I was I usually stay up a little later than he and I would hear that he did not know that I was recording him. And then when I had a blessed too the sleep apnea, I said, You've got to take care of this.

spk_2:   4:12
No, no,

spk_0:   4:13
I'll be fine. Typical person,

spk_2:   4:17
right? A typical anyone, right? So many times we have these things that are happening with Dawson were often in denial are afraid to really get checked out. So, I mean, it makes sense that he might not have gone to taken care of

spk_0:   4:33
Well, the day before he passed, Ah, we went to the doctor's, and, ah, he was given antibiotics that other medication to ease or get rid of this cold. But that cost is so it wouldn't let go. It

spk_1:   4:50
was like you

spk_0:   4:50
just cost

spk_1:   4:51
that

spk_0:   4:51
turn red with it.

spk_1:   4:54
Yeah,

spk_0:   4:55
He went upstairs on Wednesday, the 15th and he said he was gonna rest, and I found him a bill before that cheating. Before that.

spk_1:   5:07
What time of the day was that,

spk_0:   5:08
uh, the time that he went upstairs? There was about 2 33 I stayed home and worked in the kitchen, but I I gave him a to some tea so that this way he would be able to warm his hands. And I put a blanket around him so you stay warm. But when he went up to take a rest, uh, I found him on top of the betting, and I knew there was something right away. So I ran to him and he was not. He was in a sleep position, and I know that he was he had passed.

spk_2:   5:46
Oh, my Lord. How did you know? Right away. How did you know

spk_0:   5:51
he would have been under the would have been under the seat where

spk_2:   5:54
he

spk_0:   5:55
was that cold. You wouldn't have been on top just the way he waas for her to sleep.

spk_2:   6:03
I can't even imagine what was going through your mind at that point.

spk_0:   6:07
Tried? I tried slapping him a few times. I had definite in the payoff when, ah, a lot of fun. He had, um, low blood sugar, which was not his norm.

spk_1:   6:20
Yeah, not knowing something like this is gonna happen and then having to face this by yourself in the happen your home just had to be, like, really difficult. And then just everything you had to do they're after. How do you feel? Are you doing

spk_0:   6:35
I'm doing I'm doing today. I'm actually getting better. I'm feeling better. On the day that it happened, many thoughts went through my mind. Now, like how people say, Well, if you're when you pass or you're going to you know, you see it future or your past in front of you. All I saw was my my two Children who are posted it who are getting married this year where he won't see them and be part of it and be part of their life. It was, uh

spk_1:   7:12
it is

spk_0:   7:13
very, very strange when the next thing I start with, I like anchor falling off my

spk_2:   7:21
What do you mean by that?

spk_0:   7:24
Um, a relief in some ways that he had. You didn't have to labored breathing. And But we'll hug me to, um, in a sudden, in some way, like a freedom.

spk_2:   7:45
I mean,

spk_0:   7:46
it's not something that I was looking for. Uh, we've been the other for so long. Ah, we would have our ups and downs, but we always stayed together. We always supported one.

spk_2:   8:00
Um, what kind of freedom are you? Are you talking about? Just so that we understand,

spk_0:   8:07
huh? Right now, I think it's kind of holiday blowing. Um, I just I had a picture of it as a visual artist. I just saw it coming off and felt lighter. And that could have been where, um, there are tons go anyplace because I felt I mean, not that he asked me to stay home or anything like that. I just stopped that I wanted to be there if he needed me for anything. Even though he had his thing, he would write. I would do my thing.

spk_2:   8:47
Yeah, I I had a

spk_1:   8:48
similar feeling. Um, my mom was sick for, like, eight months, and she had COPD. And then her health declined pretty quickly, I think. I know. Even journal ized it. How? There was a sense of freedom and relief. A obviously, that she's not suffering anymore. Sometimes we get so dedicated to nurturing and caring for another person that we do forget about ourselves.

spk_0:   9:13
Yeah, I

spk_2:   9:14
didn't know

spk_0:   9:15
what it was at that time, but I did feel Ah, a burden being lifted.

spk_2:   9:22
Yeah, definitely. Sounds like you had even a visual ization of it. You actually saw this anger being released. How does have a freedom make you feel now?

spk_0:   9:34
Very strange, because I went from my parents house to just say in that period of time and just stay in chronological life. You know, people change. So I went for my parents house for my husband's house. Um, my daughter and my son didn't go from their parent house to intermarriage. No, they went to college. They done things they've gone to Europe, but they they experienced life as individuals. I did not experience life as an individual until now.

spk_1:   10:15
Loss in the street that you're that you're going through right now is going to, like, redefine your narrative. That's the thing that I think, how we can all uplift each other by sharing our stories, because it see, if we just don't know what's coming our way, we don't know what another day is gonna bring. But then when you're faced with that, how do we know what kind of resilience? What are we drawn from within two, then moved to another day. So,

spk_2:   10:39
yeah, you know, And it's interesting, Peggy, because, you know, I didn't really know what? Where, where we were gonna go with this conversation, right. And often, you know, like Susan said, we're gonna talk about grief today, right? Loss of a partner. You know, one could imagine that grief is just filled with sadness. And what other emotions come with that? And yet you're offering today One of the first things you said was that there was almost a sense of freedom. Andi, you know, it's curious that, you know, because you did go from your parents house to your husband's house. You didn't explore the world the way your Children may have before getting married. And it's, I think, that I think it's really important for anybody. For everybody else who goes through grief is that we all go through Ruth with our own emotion. So whatever you're feeling, whether it be relief or sadness or, um, you know, longing for adventure wherever you're going to go in your future is like, whatever you're feeling is normal, right? It's like there is no one way to feel grief. I guess that's all right. Yeah, well,

spk_0:   11:50
would see with the feeling of the anchor, Um, it was it was not like he was a burden,

spk_1:   12:00
because

spk_0:   12:00
I always

spk_2:   12:01
felt

spk_0:   12:02
that I had my freedom to do things that I wanted, um, to a point, of course. But it didn't really define that as, Oh, I'm finally free from, you know, as if I was I was in a cage. It was not bad,

spk_2:   12:22
right? Right.

spk_0:   12:24
It was a feeling of, uh that freedom was also very scary. Yeah,

spk_2:   12:33
because we did things together there

spk_0:   12:37
for each other.

spk_2:   12:39
I believe that these experiences in life happened, and some of them are very uncomfortable. Um, and obviously loss of a spouse. You know, you're you've been together for 50 years, you know, as of today or tomorrow, you know, and it's But there is something about freedom being able to move past this uncomfortable that Peggy, you You may be embarking on something, you know, absolutely incredible in your life that Susan I don't know yet. And you don't know yet?

spk_1:   13:10
Yeah. And within it, I also here is is that the deep sadness? Because it's interesting how you're saying it because you're freed from something that you loved, and that was part of your entire life. And now it's like saying, Where am I now? Because before your whole life was imagined with Jerry.

spk_0:   13:30
Oh, I mean, there have been nightwear. I've, uh I kind of like been in a, uh, a strange stupor.

spk_2:   13:43
This is

spk_0:   13:43
where I and bombarded with so many different feelings

spk_2:   13:51
Oh,

spk_0:   13:52
the loss of him the

spk_1:   13:58
Mm mmm. Thank you. Hear Support you. It's not a matter of performing. It's, you know. Yeah, I know. Gotta be very scary and very frightening. Terrible. And that's why I'd share with you that. You know, it's so funny because Becky and I haven't really seen each other in a number of years, but mealy. I heard it just I just felt very drawn to you. Woman to woman, Just friend to friend. Want to be here to support you because it's left a void in your heart, a void in your physical space and a void in your mind. You know? It's like, Now what do you

spk_0:   14:42
picture it?

spk_1:   14:43
Yeah, you can get together.

spk_0:   14:46
Even though, um, a, uh a relative friend had passed away, and I didn't. We we did not expected. Even though hey, had cancer, you could live with cancer for a long time. Uh, and all of a sudden, the heat past.

spk_1:   15:07
Mmm.

spk_0:   15:08
So, uh, Jerry and I were talking about what we should do This, you know, should do living will and we all these different things. And he just didn't seem to you jump on it.

spk_1:   15:21
Mmm.

spk_0:   15:21
When, um, he passed on the I. M. S and the ambulance. I, uh you know different. The police came, they fire department came. I just said to them Do not resuscitate him. I do not want him to be, uh, brain dead. And I knew for the time that I was trying to resuscitate him. Just take five minutes. I mean, it wasn't that long, but he was up there for a while.

spk_2:   15:53
Yeah,

spk_0:   15:54
and so I knew he was not going to be you would not going to be around. He's not goingto live or he's good. That's it. And, uh, when they took, when I took him off the bed to try to be suffocating my hood like a flush of water. So I knew that his lungs had filled up And, uh, yeah,

spk_2:   16:21
you know, whatever you're feeling, Peggy is you're a lot, you know, you feel you feel we're here for you. Andi, I

spk_1:   16:29
heard something that someone said It's arrogant to believe the next seconds of life belongs to you. So you know when it when it meets us unexpectedly, it's it's it's unimaginable.

spk_0:   16:41
It is. It is the, um, the process, uh, of going through this. Um, I was told to, uh, find a bereavement counselling

spk_1:   16:56
and listen,

spk_0:   16:57
some in Philadelphia. Uh, that's one of the things I'm planning on doing is to call them at U Penn. I'm part of that group and see what supports. I can have the but, uh, going through a lot of days. I mean, it's almost a month, and I I I feel like Yes. Today I did something normal. I took the dishes out of the dishwasher, and I put them away,

spk_1:   17:36
right?

spk_0:   17:37
It's just those little things that, uh, he used to do because a bad back, my, uh, it wasn't like he had to do them. He chose to do them. We never We had an agreement. Don't ask me to do something. You're not willing to do yourself.

spk_2:   18:02
No.

spk_0:   18:04
So we always had, uh, he could I cleaned up

spk_1:   18:08
e

spk_0:   18:09
cooked, cleaned up. He was a partnership, huh? Except money. Except for the heat. I had one of those one little piece things from the dry cleaners. Says one piece. It fell down and it was there for, like, two weeks.

spk_2:   18:25
No,

spk_0:   18:27
what I said to him, huh? No. Why? Yes. I'd still down there

spk_2:   18:33
and he

spk_0:   18:33
looked at me. How hard could it be picked? You know, how hard can it be to pick it up? Meaning that I should pick it up?

spk_2:   18:40
My look at him.

spk_0:   18:40
I said I guess is very hard because you can't do it.

spk_1:   18:43
E

spk_0:   18:44
was right right in front of his complicit.

spk_2:   18:47
I mean, definitely. I think it is amazing that you're gonna try to get ah into some sort of, ah, bereavement group. But what what support do you feel? You you would want from you no friends or family? Well,

spk_0:   19:03
my friends and family have been very supportive. I've got uh, aye aye. Artist group in New York that I I go to. I want a bump. They've been very supportive.

spk_1:   19:18
My

spk_0:   19:18
son has been coming.

spk_1:   19:20
That's a blessing.

spk_0:   19:21
It is. And my daughter just recently bought a house for their moving to their house. Not that far away. Tomorrow night, I was thinking of inviting them. Come over for some fried chicken because when we met, you said, let's go out to dinner and he If you saw him, you'd probably say, Yeah, Kentucky Fried Chicken is about the best you could do. Oh, so he told me later Why

spk_2:   19:52
did we go

spk_0:   19:52
to Kentucky Fried Chicken? I said So why did you wear one coat?

spk_1:   19:58
Yeah,

spk_0:   20:00
even the college. You know, you do things like that once you get into a coat. You kind of waiting till it peels off.

spk_1:   20:10
Jerry, Jerry's is a genius. He was very, very smart. And Peggy is a genius to Jews. She's very doesn't really talk about this, but she's an amazing artist. Lovely. Yeah. Thank you. And one of the things you have done. A number, I guess. How long ago did you do that? Stairway with this chair? That is all down.

spk_0:   20:30
2002.

spk_1:   20:31
Mmm.

spk_0:   20:32
We were in our second house, not the second move. Second house. I felt as though all these times have been trying to achieve trying to climb this, uh, stairs of success. But I I I would always school down, and I felt an empty hole in my support.

spk_1:   20:55
Hmm. Interesting.

spk_0:   20:58
Heather did. You did. You wouldn't even show you the picture.

spk_1:   21:02
Yes. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah.

spk_0:   21:05
Thank you.

spk_1:   21:06
Yeah, beautiful. In fact, one of the things I look forward to working with Peggy on because she knows that I'm coaching. And I would love to engage in helping her move forward because she isn't in such an exceptional artist. It would be a privilege for me to like, you know, help her, like, move towards getting these thieves paintings out there and her art out there and supporting her with that. She said Talented. Beautiful.

spk_0:   21:31
Thank you.

spk_2:   21:31
I do

spk_0:   21:32
appreciate that to him. I know it comes from your heart.

spk_1:   21:35
Yes.

spk_0:   21:36
We've known each other for I don't know how many years.

spk_1:   21:39
Oh, sweetie.

spk_0:   21:40
Oh, my gosh.

spk_1:   21:41
Right, 8 45 years. Wow. So, what do you find it? What is it has been What is the most? Is there like, a time of the day? That's most difficult for you.

spk_0:   21:52
Mmm. I would say the morning Cool, because we would, uh I would do my back exercises, and we would talk before we would put on Ah, a new station. And we start our coffee and

spk_1:   22:20
just

spk_0:   22:21
do different things. About what? What are plans for the day And yeah, you would say, Could you pick up this and, uh, even though, uh, we don't have any cars anymore? I bicycle around Philadelphia now, and I just love it until he would have me about doing all these Aaron here and there. So I'll try to get out in the morning to get those things done. And sometimes

spk_1:   22:51
it's

spk_0:   22:51
like, by the way,

spk_2:   22:54
can

spk_0:   22:54
you take this up? Can you do this? And I'm like, I've already got a pile

spk_1:   23:01
of

spk_0:   23:01
stuff on my back. Two baskets. And if I don't hold down the front, it would tip over.

spk_2:   23:08
This is ah,

spk_0:   23:09
would lean back. I think I'd better just get home. And, like, he would have to lift it at the basket and into the house. And why didn't you tell me? It's like, Well, I just I want to get it done. So the things that we would have together just daily things, Bailey, things that ah, we shared having We didn't vacation much. Um,

spk_1:   23:37
but you were present in each other's life, so

spk_2:   23:39
yes. Yeah. You know, still a daily part of living. And, like, that's that was the bulk of your life, right? During the day. Nearly routines.

spk_0:   23:49
Well, we have our dog, Lucy. She is. She's missing him terribly.

spk_1:   23:55
Oh,

spk_0:   23:56
it at losing a partner of losing someone that you've lived with for so many years. I you're in a trickle port. And, uh, you know, just, uh you move things along, You know, either you're the you're the spokes, so you're the tire. But everything is together and When you have that separation, everything just falls apart. Uh huh. I don't know how people live food, but they don't. I know that. And, uh, my parents have passed away. My sister passed away. Um, and each one of those are totally different from your parents. Your sister? We're a sister. More. But I have been, well, a wife. You're any kind of partner. You work together.

spk_1:   25:01
Yeah.

spk_0:   25:02
And now I have to as, ah, friend of mine just now. But start to do start to define myself.

spk_1:   25:12
No. Uh, yeah,

spk_0:   25:15
yeah. I'm not a defined myself, but

spk_1:   25:17
your heart will always be with you. Yeah, And it's from what he gave you and you gave him that. You'll draw upon that strength to move forward, you know, because l know you will never leave your side. You are soulmates forever. He'll do his best. I'm sure to help carry through the next number of years, So

spk_0:   25:36
Yeah, it was my words. Uh, now I have to find my own words. And my boys has always been through my my about books.

spk_2:   25:47
Beautiful. That's beautiful. It's a beautiful expression you're gonna find yourself, but it will take time and you're feeling everything that you need to feel right now. Now, you know. But

spk_1:   26:00
let's stay in touch. And, um, okay, that people love you and support you, you know? Except that love. I pray you do.

spk_0:   26:09
Well, I do. I do. Except, uh, it's been a very lonely time. Prior to that, there were times that I just felt like I had a cold jury upon the phone so I could talk to him,

spk_1:   26:22
you know, because

spk_0:   26:23
he was always on the phone as a businessman. Yeah. I'll get through this. I know

spk_1:   26:28
that if you could just wake up every day, open your eyes, breathe into another day

spk_2:   26:33
and thank you so much for hearing with us. Thank you very much

spk_0:   26:37
for bringing this hole up. I think it's important. It's important for people to connect with their feelings. Uh, my son and daughter have been having problem. My daughter is very up front about it with my son. I know, uh, from his different mannerisms, is very quiet and called Chester. Please keep them to himself. But we have talked about it, and I feel that you need tohave on outside support. He needs to talk to somebody and I was at one point tried to get us to have a family therapy because my daughter was so dependent on him, she would speak from sometimes three times a day. I think we all have our own personal devastation. I

spk_2:   27:26
mean, everybody has me. I think your Children are probably gonna process in their own way in their own time as well. Yeah. I mean, I think that's really important, too. Remember that there are so many different ways that grief can come up and show up. And that's why the fact that you're getting yourself into your own bereavement group will be really helpful on your Children may choose to. Do you know something similar where they may choose to do something different, and that's okay. Everything will work through this on their own schedule.

spk_0:   27:57
I know I have to be strong for myself, but I

spk_2:   28:00
also

spk_0:   28:01
have to be strong for them.

spk_2:   28:02
Absolutely, absolutely. Whether you do you have

spk_0:   28:07
any bereavement more or less with your divorce,

spk_2:   28:12
there is, You know, I had that say, a similar sense of loss when I came out of my marriage. That was years ago, even recently, you know, Susan does this? I recently did. Two years ago, I came out of ah ah, relationship. And it's like this uncoupling in your mind. It's the loss of the day to day, you know, like in my last relationship. The time of day that was always so painful for me was that ordered a seven in the morning because this guy would call May every day while I was driving to work. I It took me a long time to get over Cordage seven and morning because I couldn't figure out what I'm supposed to. How it was to fill that time loss comes from breakups comes from, you know, when you and a relationship comes when, um, you know, any time you get your daily routine is is thrown, right. Um, we all have to create a new routine.

spk_1:   29:06
Well, it feels boy death, this final, like you can in the marriage you can because of divorce in this excruciating pain. From that what you should your love has changed. And when that love changes, it's it's, you know, and being quote unquote divorced from that that commitment that love that you that you came together on feelings that make you, you know, anger or just, um, you know, it's like it's like breaking apart of something. But death is final, and that's it. That's the scariest part.

spk_2:   29:40
Peggy would be. OK, yes. So I read something on the other day that your morning, actually what happened? But and you even said that you're also morning kind of a loss of what could have been right, like the future of And so that's why it's it's It's so, so multifaceted. But things that we will be mourning or a loss, it's that it's morning what actually happened. We're mourning the things that perhaps we thought could have been in our future. And everybody handles that in their own way. You know, that just gonna struck me when I read it. There's so many aspects of things that were, you know, missing. You know, when when a relationship is over. Yeah. Yeah,

spk_0:   30:20
well, there's, uh, that relationship that we were planning on

spk_1:   30:26
my

spk_0:   30:27
mother passed in 94 so I still have a good amount of years, and, uh, we really thought that was gonna happen. It wasn't like I was there for him to say goodbye, King.

spk_1:   30:43
Ah,

spk_0:   30:43
it wasn't like bite. Uh, daughter and son could say goodbye to him. Uh, it would just happen. I mean, even know. Ah, get this so final. And you had mentioned that I in my own way I felt like I wanted to commit to slide, not be not after. Yeah, definitely before his death because And I knew it was chemical. That's the thing I knew I I could feel it was chemical and not wanting to I was definitely out of balance.

spk_1:   31:28
So

spk_0:   31:28
there I was. I felt like I was a pole in the hole and I could go round and round circles. But if I do something, my husband would be affected. My daughter would be affected. My, uh, come would be affected, other people would be effective. But here I am, going around circle, not being able to do anything because the chemical imbalance in May was activating this

spk_1:   31:55
right.

spk_0:   31:57
I just, you know, being a pharmacologist now. But it's like I know that there is help out there

spk_1:   32:05
right and is being brave enough to to acknowledge it and say, Hey, I need help because thank God people are talking about it. I mean, this old part of our life. And how do we How do we speak about these things? I mean, you know, and be open about it because it's not unusual. You know, depressions on unusual are even fourths of suicide. Many people happened. They don't even get that close, but yet say they challenged whether illness in their family, of their own illness or just problems with relationships are on the job. So I think the more we talk about these different things and not be afraid to

spk_0:   32:41
confront him,

spk_1:   32:42
yeah, it may be normalized. Not that Not that the word normal. What does normal mean? I have no idea what the word normal means, but it makes it as is if the conversation can be had and get rid of the stigma. Because I think of anything that just springs more unity and more community between us. So

spk_2:   33:00
and you don't feel like you're struggling alone. You know, like you're the only one that has to process your emotions and your thoughts and all of that. It's just it's a knowing that there are others out there feeling the same thing, going through the C.

spk_0:   33:13
Well, I felt that I saw a picture. I don't know the name of the photograph and but by title for the photograph would have been the silent screen. Yeah, not like the scream in that painting that advised mounted.

spk_1:   33:33
You

spk_0:   33:34
write like a silent screen that you just have your mouth open and you're screaming, but there's no words coming out. You're you're alone. Nobody is there to hear it.

spk_2:   33:46
Yeah, but you're not alone. You're not

spk_0:   33:48
alone. No, I'm I'm I'm so grateful for the support I've been getting on. Uh, I don't know. I don't I know something. The person that had passed away so suddenly from cancer, His wife in jacking everybody. Ah, chance two be with her to help her get through this. I don't know what she's doing, but I know that my sister in law is not heard from her. It'll on, uh, so she's alone. But that was her choice. That's a horrible thing to do,

spk_1:   34:33
right? Yeah, I remember when Mike, my sisters, um, went after her situation. She just didn't want anybody near her. But then she finally allowed people to come into her life, and I think it was transformative, allowing people to come in. So I I thank you for letting us up Come into your heart in your life right now. And

spk_0:   34:55
you here this period even know it's just another part of life. Unfortunately,

spk_1:   35:01
yeah, It's the hardest part of life, I think.

spk_0:   35:04
I don't know. Giving birth can be very

spk_1:   35:08
You're gonna exit on that one? Yeah.

spk_2:   35:13
Is there anything that you feel like you'd like to share just before we go? Is there anything that was left on? Said that you feel like you'd like to but out there?

spk_0:   35:24
No, I don't think so. I'm just taking it one day and time. Ah, Try to, uh, uh, you know, wallow in my pain, feel it, uh, not make it numbing. Um, I mean, a few nights ago, I I drank myself silly with chocolate milk

spk_1:   35:44
much after that one. Yeah.

spk_0:   35:47
And, uh, I didn't have a headache when I got up the next morning, but I felt good and I brought some coffee. Ice cream. So today and Mike might artists ones. I got me a beautiful package of wine and cheese and chocolate itself. Each time, I indulged myself a little bit. So that's important, too. To indulge yourself to make sharing your take care of yourself. You don't want to be on the list of Oh, she passed away in three months after he did. You can't do that. It's not what I'm here for. I

spk_1:   36:23
know you have grandchildren coming in the next number of years now, and you just have to carry on to you and Jerry.

spk_0:   36:30
Yeah, and I gotta put my book together so that my grandchildren will be able to see their grandfather.

spk_1:   36:37
Beautiful. That'd be incredible. Yeah, well, love to you and look forward to speaking to you next week. Okay? Okay. Thanks very

spk_0:   36:47
much.

spk_2:   36:47
Thank you. Panky. Thank you.

spk_0:   36:49
Thank you, Heather. By now.

spk_2:   36:51
All right. Goodbye. Thank you for listening to got to conversations over 50 and connecting with our gutsy community. Maur inspiration. You can follow us on Facebook and instagram at gutsy conversations over 50 until next time. Love you. Love you too.