Courting - Chris and Shannon Beery

Part 1 with our good friends and mentors, Chris and Shannon Beery. In the following episode we cover the dating in a Godly way, and our friends upbringing. Hear the song that Chris proposed to Shannon with and more. 

Transcript

spk_0:   0:02
Thank you for listening to distinct podcast.

spk_1:   0:09
So, Mama, do you know what we're talking about today?

spk_2:   0:13
We're gonna and talk to our friends today.

spk_1:   0:16
Who would friends? Ah, the Berries. Oh, they're here. That's right. We got personal, Shannon. I think that that's gonna be good. We're probably gonna learn a few things about them and just some interesting stories, maybe a song. But before we do that, I think you know what I want to talk about. Yes. What is it?

spk_2:   0:34
Grandpa's Bob cord. Okay. What about, uh, gourmet popcorn and sweets for all your events? Actually went to a baby shower yesterday and we did not have Grandpa's popcorn

spk_1:   0:49
room.

spk_2:   0:49
And it actually wasn't all that great. Grandpa's popcorn is gourmet, so it's like, um, great flavor, strawberry flavor, lemon flavor. And it's good for birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, and weddings and parties.

spk_1:   1:05
Where can you find him?

spk_2:   1:06
Oh, weaken of Find them on the southeast corner of first and knees.

spk_0:   1:14
Recorded live from Fresno, California. This is the distinct podcast. Coming to the distinct podcast microphone today are Chris and Shannon Beery. Chris and Shannon had been married. Uh, well, well, a really long time. Just look at their three beautiful Children and you can see God's grace and blessing on this family. Chris leads worship with his very recognizable voice of the well Church. And Shannon might be remembered for her Miss California Teen USA victory years ago. A story you've just got to hear more about. Welcome to the broadcast. Chris and Shannon Berry.

spk_1:   1:53
Awesome. So today we have some guests at our house Mr Chris Berry and Mrs Shannon Beery. And, uh, we're just so grateful to have you guys as friends and as guest on our podcast. So thank you for coming on. Um, so you guys know that are listening, who these guys are. Crist is a worship leader at the Welcome Unity Church. That's the church that we go to. Um, and I saw him the first time I saw him was actually in a parking lot. And I was telling

spk_3:   2:25
Dre, who is this guy? He's

spk_1:   2:27
mean mugging me. And I think, uh, maybe two weeks went by. I go and I shake your hand when super nice. And then a week later, we're at a party, and ever since then, best friends. So this guy's a former resident. His wife, Shannon, is also a former resident from the Well. So we all they actually inspired us or their siblings as well to do the residency program. Which is this? A biblical studies program where we learn the Bible for a year. That was transforming for us. Ah, and really, they've just been kind of mentors to us and people that we look up to for how to do life and encouragement, accountability. So we want to thank you guys for coming. And we're looking forward to what God has on this episode. Yeah. So if you guys want Thio, tell us a little bit about who you are, where you came from, all of it. All

spk_2:   3:21
right? I'm Shannon. Very, very proud Toe be a beery. Um, Let's see. I'm 34 years old. I was born in Santa Rosa, California My parents divorced when I was four in early childhood years, were a little bit challenging, dealing with my parents divorce in kind of figuring out going back and forth between homes and that sort of thing. But school's hard to. I was diagnosed with a learning disability and fifth grade and held back so some of it's kind of blurry, but, um, after being diagnosed in really learning how to learn things turned for the butter. And for that, I was, like, straight a student, and so I really don't know what they did. But I'm so thankful to my parents for just advocating for me in that. And even though it's a hard part of my story, they made it a good part of my story. So how do

spk_3:   4:09
you go through that and not mention Miss California Teen USA?

spk_2:   4:14
Okay, I did pageants. Oh, uh,

spk_1:   4:18
wow. You did pageants

spk_2:   4:20
in high school just in high school,

spk_1:   4:22
okay? And one, Yes. Oh, yeah. Going tol tell us.

spk_2:   4:28
Okay, so in high school, one of my close friends did pageants and she invited me to participate in with her. And then I want my the local one in my town again. That was like, the beginning of the fairy tale Baskerville. So what was back ability in USA? I was, like, probably 2000. Yeah, and then eso Whenever you win a local title, you get to go to the state competition, which was actually here in Fresno. So I was eight. I placed eighth that year s. So then you're not allowed to compete at the local level if you made the top 10 Uh, they just don't want other people to be kind of discouraged from participating in the local level, so you can still participate. But you're just an at large delegate and you sign up for the state competition. It's kind of like fast track to next year. So place eight. The first year I was third runner up, our second runner up, which is third place the next year and then the third year I once in my senior pi school, I was actually gone a lot because I was traveling California for, um, speaking engagements and things like that, hosting other pageants and stuff. So you'll help. I got Tonto. I missed in your share. And you don't mind not picking her? Probably because yes, e

spk_3:   5:43
fly right under the way.

spk_1:   5:46
You been talking to these people for a year and this is all like, Did you know

spk_2:   5:50
I knew it feels like another lifetime, but it was super fun. I love doing it. So it was just like high school. And then, um, after Miss Teen USA it was like two weeks later I packed my bags and moved to college. Well, very cool.

spk_1:   6:09
Fighting something new after right down on my note. Dishonesty

spk_2:   6:18
for endings. It's not that important in my story.

spk_3:   6:22
What about you? You want to know about way? D'oh! Well, I also did a pageant thing is making so much more who will keep the Speedo images away? Way actually met doing pageants. It wasn't entered, was the second oldest or am the second oldest of five kids. So got older brother Josh. And then there's me. And then there's Joel and there's Chad. And then my parents were not going to stop until they got their girl. And they did. At number five, Alison and, um so grew up in Fresno going to church. Um, parents are still together and love the Lord and raised us going toe Wanna tze and, you know, earning those little penance on my Sparky's badge and and ah, running, running, playing games at a Wanda's and whatnot. And ah took a year off of school after doing two years at Citi City College because I had no idea what I wanted to do, and I am not your typical, you know, student. I don't. You know, let's just say studies did not come easy for me. Um, I was more interested in sports and stuff like that, and so took a year off, actually moved to Tahoe, and, ah, did some snowboarding up there, uh, lived up in Truckee and did a ton of snowboarding that year and then came back and actually wanted to go to school. And when to Fresno State. Got a degree in kinesiology and graduated, I think. I think my wife graduated before me with four years

spk_2:   7:59
old. 3.5 years.

spk_3:   8:02
Wow. I graduate in 2006.

spk_2:   8:05
Me to December from state from state. Okay, so we heard a little bit about the both of you. So now, how long have you guys been married? And how many kids you guys have now? And I'm curious to do you hear about more of, like, the dating? Like how that worked between you guys struggles and what not for all of our single people there. People dating other because we're like, OK, which version of the story do you want? His team?

spk_3:   8:37
She's like, Oh, if he's gonna talk it's going to be long we're gonna be here for,

spk_2:   8:41
I think,

spk_3:   8:44
And he's gonna leave out this where you know, it's gonna have to defend herself, and then she kind of just gives you the

spk_2:   8:54
okay. So, like I said after, um, college, I moved to healing to work full time in. As a result of that, I was offered a job at the Well, um, So Chris had been serving at the well, and he decided that he was gonna go on a life adventure. He wasn't married. He was done with school. He had a great job. He sold everything, bought a plane ticket to New Zealand. Which school is very cool. I think that if we had known each other then they went without a plan. I'm a planet. I mean, he there was like, a key under a rock in the back of somebody's yard, and he was supposed to It was temporary.

spk_3:   9:36
I literally didn't have enough money to buy the plane ticket like when I finally like all right, I'm going and just God somehow provided enough funds. And so when I arrived in New Zealand, I had probably less than $300 to money.

spk_2:   9:53
So he had bought a round trip ticket on Lee because his friend had asked him already in advance, to sing in his wedding in December. So in October, I moved down to Fresno and started working at the Well in the worship department. And, um, obviously I don't know any of these people on a list of names of Who is volunteering who still involves. So I'm contacting everyone. I email him. He's in New Zealand. He gets my email doing until about that part.

spk_3:   10:25
It's so hard to make it quick. But I had just finished a book by Joshua Harris called I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Long Story short. He ends up this Joshua guy wrote the book Who kissed dating goodbye. Whatever ends up marrying this girl named Shannon, And so I get an email from Shannon. I'm like, Oh, maybe she's the one. Obviously, that's a logical thing to think. Um, how old

spk_1:   10:48
were you at this point?

spk_3:   10:50
25 eyes. No, no, cause

spk_2:   10:54
no, cause I was 28. Probably close to 20. Well, you probably would have turned 28 that march. So you're 27 27. Okay, So, yes. So that was our first point of contact. Wasn't eat now, so I kind of yak it plugged in at the well. And Chris comes back from New Zealand. So Brad Bo comes into the office. Brent Liam was our worship director at the time, and he's like a father figure to me. His wife, men toward me were really close. And, um, it's like this guy, Chris Peary. He went away to New Zealand and he was as he started street performing, you know, sitting on the side of the road with his guitar and he got really good and super excited for him to meet you and audition. And everything's that. Chris comes in to audition and he's got this funny looking hat, his hair super long. He's got breezes. I'm like, Who is? This is like eso audition. The long story short with that is that he ended up interning at the well. Then they brought him on part time and then full time in the worship department. So here we are. We're working together so very early on Chris. Well, I think you'd say love at first sight. Would you say love at first sight. Oh, yeah, love of her sight for him, Not for me. So for a year. And

spk_3:   12:18
when she says that if you know Well, you're gonna hear some of our story. But if you just knew like there were many, many, many moments were just like a dagger.

spk_2:   12:28
Okay, So more specific. Stick it into some of your question about what would you say to other couples that air in dating or predating that year and 1/2? Um, a big part of it was that my heart was somewhere else, but it out was not reciprocated. Okay, so, um good and a bad thing and even kind of, um as I've kind of looked at my straight in a big picture since I feel like a common theme is God is still writing my story of protection and provisions. And I really feel that even that in and of itself was part of God's protection and provisioned for me because of my heart hadn't been entangled there, I might have dated a lot. Other people maybe made poor choices in that time period. So, um, even that was hard because I longed for a husband and long to be a mother which required a husband, and it was it. I do see in hindsight now how is part of God's plan? So that year and 1/2 we worked very closely together. We had the same group of friends, so literally, we saw each other all day, every day, just because it's who we were with and what we were a part of. And so it gave me a huge opportunity, opportunity to observe, and I think the same for him. He had a huge opportunity to observe, but because I knew very early on where his heart west, I also really tried to be intentional, to not lead him on right, because as girls, we totally can do that and play that game. And I did not want to do that to him because I respected him. I admired him, and I also knew that everyone was watching an entire staff at church pastors, friends. Everyone was watching, and so I tried too hard gets you would ve I tried too hard to not lead him on, and that's that did cause him some hurt. And so that's where some of his side of the story comes in of specific serpents stances where I was trying too hard to not lead him on because I knew how he felt that my wall was so strong that in some sense, sometimes I was rude. What? What did that look like? Okay, I'll let him. So this is where he comes in. All I have here, and then I'll try to different.

spk_3:   14:39
Well, she mentioned how hideous I looked with the braces, So we'll start there. I get my braces off. Everybody work together. Everybody made it. Oh, Chris, you got your braces off. Everybody noticed, except for guess who Miss Shannon burn over here. And, uh, she, you know, I didn't say anything the whole day and was like, she's not. I guess she's not noticing with smiling at her all day, just like hello. Um, and actually, I was having a conversation with some friends, and Shannon walked by and my friends say, Hey, Shannon. Hey, did you notice that Chris got his braces off and she looked at him and I think she said that Didn't even say yes and then just walked away a SZ fast as she could. And I was just like, oh, We've only known each other for, like a year and yeah,

spk_2:   15:34
but what is it? What is he supposed to? What am I supposed to dok Chrissy look nice of your braces off. How it How is he going to take that? He I already know. He likes me. I don't want him to think like Hey, how you doing? You got your braces up? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

spk_1:   15:49
So she clearly knew that you liked her at that moment. But did you, even though you were hiding it, were you hiding it like you like him at that moment?

spk_2:   15:56
I did not like him at that moment.

spk_1:   15:57
Okay, so you just don't want to lead him on, OK?

spk_3:   15:59
Likes me for, like, pretty much a year and 1/2

spk_2:   16:02
for sure, you know?

spk_3:   16:04
What did you say she was hideous? I did not know there were. There were times where we would, um, where I would get my hopes up, and then it would just always end in like, Hey, we're gonna go over this such and such as having, like, a game night. And it would be fun. And this and that and then, like, oh, maybe, you know, Maybe she's Startinto, you know, turn the page a little bit and, you know, like me. No, um, and that happened just way too many times where I just get my hopes up. And then I would just, like, come to the realization that all right, God, apparently you're trying to tell me least what I'm getting. What she's telling me is there there's not a chance.

spk_2:   16:49
And other people told him that, too. I mean, like men that I respect today and that we were good friends with Jordan. Deeper Slew, Chris, Meryl They were like, D'oh! She's just not that into you, like, move on your He was a great catch. It is a complete miracle that he wasn't already married and that he waited for so long for me because I was not giving him the time of day, and I thought I was protecting him. But still it lt's part of God's plan,

spk_3:   17:19
so kind of jumped forward to right before she started like me, like there was a girl that I was starting to see a church and she was, you know, very attractive to me and and we were we were courting or dating or anything like that. But I was curious, Um, and I was kind of a little guarded because I wasn't sure how long she had been a believer. But, hey, she's going to church, right? So there's there's that going for her And, um because that was one of the main things that I wanted. Somebody who loves God, who who I find very attractive and one who finds me attractive as well. And so there's always to everything he says and could never get them all 30 man, that girl is beautiful. Oh, she opened her mouth. She doesn't love Jesus, you know, our Oh, man, that girl loves Christ, but I just I don't have any feelings for, you know, And Shannon was the only person like she loves God and I'm head over heels for But now it's the thing that's out of control is out of my control anyways that she has, she doesn't want anything you doing eso it got to the point where, um I was like, All right, I'm going to talk with Shannon and let her know like, Hey, I need to know that there's absolutely zero chance, zero chance Oh, man before. Before I pursue this other relationships, so are called her up and and ah said, Hey, will you meet me at this spot? You know, and, uh,

spk_2:   18:51
I wouldn't get out of the car,

spk_0:   18:53
Didn't want Theo

spk_3:   18:55
walking. It's kind of like Woodward Park area. And I'm picturing us walking, you know, and having a conversation. And she's like, I'm in my car across the street, so I'm like, Okay, because she's getting out of the car and so boundary that So Hee walked over to her car and I just and we talked a little bit. I was like, I just need to know, um that there is absolutely no chance.

spk_2:   19:19
Do you want me to say what I said?

spk_3:   19:20
Yeah, go ahead.

spk_2:   19:22
So I explained to him that Brad So we were going through the song of Solomon Siri's the first time at the well during this time, and that was the big turning point s. So I said to him, You know how Brad says that you just run the race towards Jesus and eventually you look to your side and you see who's keeping up with you because you want to have someone that you can be equally yoked with and equal yoke doesn't always just mean you both believe in Jesus. It's a spiritual maturity to, I think so. You just look to your left your right. You see if there's anyone keeping up with you and then you lock arms and you do the race together and that's what marriage looks like. It's your pursuit doesn't ever change. You just maybe change you do it with. So I told Chris I said, I see running next to me and I'm not sure what to do with that yet. You know, I don't even

spk_3:   20:12
get an answer, so I don't get my yes, so I can't pursue this other relationship because I don't feel that's a

spk_1:   20:18
dumb and dumber moment where it's like So you're

spk_3:   20:20
saying there's a There's a chance

spk_2:   20:23
there is a chance

spk_3:   20:24
And believe me, I was holding on to that hope I was holding on to that. That hope that maybe because I had, I mean, you know, 27 28 years old and and had met a lot of people. But I had never met anyone like her, and I felt like if I were to go pursue something else. I would be settling, settling, just like oh, well, going this direction because, you know, she obviously hasn't. Doesn't want anything to do with me. Yeah,

spk_2:   20:54
so, yeah, Song of Solomon Siri's turned the corner for me. We made weak at that time was on Wednesday. Broad would teach and then immediately after, they would do life groups. So we had table round tables. And so Chris and TJ Granata were in Cafe Ada and they were leading a men's group, and I was leading a women's group in the sanctuary. So every Wednesday we'd hear the message that they had the little black book. We're going old school here, and, um as we're discussing the song of Solomon Siri's I keep finding myself using Chris is an example. When we're talking about this and I mean because we're going, you know, songs home. I mean, you go through all the stages of a relationship and I keep bringing him up. And it was a little bit awkward because his sister was in my group, right? So I'm keeping bringing up her brother

spk_1:   21:46
crucible, intently listening

spk_2:   21:48
and then, like I'd catch him out of the quarter of my I like disciple ing these men, and that was attractive. And so But really, it wasn't until he got mad at me that it really changed. What? Oh,

spk_3:   22:01
so that's the secret. You know, you just got to get mad at that girl and then she'll like it could be true. That's weird. What happened?

spk_2:   22:08
Tell the story.

spk_3:   22:09
So she got me involved. A plan? Brent Lambs. What? What party was? Just a

spk_2:   22:17
way did brightly, but that was more his wife that did. It was Dave Johnson

spk_3:   22:21
and Dave Johnson. She's she's getting me involved to help with these parties. And she, you know, kind of approached me like, Hey, let's do this Let's do that and and I end up, you know, helping put on these parties for our friends. And then, um, it's my birthday coming up and then I can't remember what happened.

spk_2:   22:44
I knew again that I still wasn't sure where it was at 100% and so I knew I couldn't plan his birthday. So I asked his sister, Can you plan a party for your brother?

spk_3:   22:56
So anyways, we have this party and, um, it's that my friend was Martin's house Yeah, and And I feel like everybody's having a great time except for Shannon. Like I'm like, everybody's here in the kitchen and her and her friend Jane or just sitting there talking to themselves, like weird anyways. And then they just get up and leave and they walk into a room where there's nobody. I'm just like, this is I don't even want her here. Like, I just wish you would go home. And, um, I didn't say that tour. Okay? I didn't say that too right then and there. Um But after she left, I called her, like, soon after, Um, and just said, Hey, can we talk tomorrow? And there's just something I need to share with you. That's kind of what went right. And so, um, we were gonna meet at Starbucks, and then she changes that last minute. Hey, can we meet at our my apartment clubhouse, Mike. Okay. Whatever. So you get home home court advantage, and I was I was actually I was pretty. I'm pretty frustrated with her, um, at this point, So, um, she had already turned me down. I don't know how many times, and it wasn't like, hey, will you go out with me type things, but it just like she had made her intentions clear that she wanted, you know, to not move forward in any sort of relationship with me so many times that my heart was just kind of like, um very, very frustrated. But this was kind of like this was over the top for me, And I was like, Shannon, I have to tell you it's like last night. There were so many people there and everybody I felt like was having a good time. And everybody was just enjoying themselves in playing games and even food and whatever. Um, and I think I explained it like this is like, Have you ever like you like to cook? Have you ever, like, made something for somebody in your hope and everybody tells you how good it was, But the one person you would hope would enjoy it the most didn't say anything. I was like, That's how I felt. You know, I felt like the one person who I wanted to have a good time at my party didn't didn't like everybody else was having fun and whatever. It wasn't the case. It wasn't I mean, after talking with her afterwards. Oh, no, I had fun or whatever, but that's the way I felt. That's the way that's way I perceived. It is like, Oh, I don't want to be here. I'm just coming because I have to be here because he helped me put on these other birthday parties or whatever. And so anyways, I just kind of laid it out like that

spk_1:   25:42
in your bunk.

spk_2:   25:43
And and so it was not the case that I was not having fun. And there is, like, I had a reason why we moved through is because I wanted the party to be great and I felt like the kitchen was getting too congested. I wanted to move the flow of the party. I had this whole thing in my head about why I was doing what I was doing, and so I did explain that to him a little bit. But I also realized how much it broke my heart, that it had hurt his feelings, and I realized that with the one he was speaking my language, he knew me enough from that year and 1/2 that he put his feelings into a context that I could understand with the cooking example. Right. Um, so him telling me that helped me to understand that of all the people in the world, he wanted me at his birthday party, and he wanted me to have a good time. And that really did this. Something so simple. But it showed me how important I was to him. So my heart started to, like, start a little bit. And so I went and talked to my roommate killing crime. And she was like, Shannon, if you let him know that you are starting to have feelings for him, like, you need to be so sure, because if you let him know, he will propose to you right there. It was probably It was pretty true. So a little bit of time went on. And then, um is it okay if I told an expert or do you want to tell an expert? So we again we worked together at the well, we're doing worship in a straight and it's time to do auditions. So we're at the figured in campus all day, and we did What do we do? Musicians in the morning? We did musicians in the morning went to lunch, and then

spk_1:   27:27
that's our We're in our kitchen. So that's our ice machine.

spk_2:   27:30
Have

spk_3:   27:31
that same problem? We're going to sleep at night night. We're like, downstairs, somebody talking on her door. This'd

spk_1:   27:39
distinct studios A our kitchens.

spk_2:   27:43
That's so funny. Okay, so we're at the figure in campus. We did, um, musician auditions in the morning. We went to lunch with Brent, So it's just the three of us. So here it is, like a father figure to me. Our boss were just the three of us having lunch, and then Britain says to me, Oh, no, I left my guitar at home. I need to go get my guitar because the afternoon auditions are vocalists and we need an instrument so that they're not singing off Capella eso he goes, Shana, do you want to come back with me to the house to get a good tar? Do you want to go back to the church with Chris? And I said, I want to go back to the church with Crest and everyone, I think, was like, Okay, what's going on here? We all kind of new, like something's going on. Something's changing. So we saw on those little cement benches out there at the figured on campus and talked in one of the questions that I asked him. I said, How do you feel about adoption? So as my heart started to change,

spk_3:   28:42
that was the moment

spk_2:   28:43
that was

spk_3:   28:44
That was up. I was like, Something just happened here. You don't ask anybody A How do you feel about adoption? You know, like I knew at that moment something that the Lord had done something to her heart, cause I just remember hearing that question in just, like, wait one you wrote back with me back to, you know, the well, when you could have gone with Brent, which 99.99 times you're gonna go with Brent. You know why you're going to go with me. And then the fact that you back it up with a Hey, how do you feel about adoption?

spk_1:   29:18
If I could guess it sounds like your wife showed up right there. The rial Shannon showed up

spk_2:   29:23
Well, as my heart started to change my mind, I was so distracted at work and it wasn't because I was distracted with him necessarily. I was distracted by all of these things that I wanted to know about him. So I had my notebook for work, man. Admin, you know, taking notes all the time. But I secretly flipped the last couple of pages. I just as I would think of questions. I'm writing him down. And then as I had opportunities, I'd ask him the questions and check it off. And so that was one of the big things for me. I wanted to know how he felt about adoption, because it was something that had been on my heart since I was a kid, and in my adult years I would start even more, and I just I needed my husband to be open to adoption. Not even a yes, but just open. So he said he was open to it, so he invited me to go to a birthday party. That's that same. I went with him then,

spk_3:   30:17
but she didn't say yes. She said, Well, let me. I'm supposed to baby sit for such and such, and I'll give you a call if things change or something like that. And anyway, she called my phone and like, Hey, um, if you still want to go to the party tonight. I'd love to go. I'm like and she said, I'd love to go. I'm like, Come on now. Come on now.

spk_2:   30:45
So Oh, my, I just shocked him pretty much because I'm like, Yes, let's go party together. Oh, do you want to go to dinner first? Yes. Let's go to dinner first. Actually, some other friends are going together. You want to do second dinners? We went to the second dinners at them after that. So he showed up so late to the party, which is probably a good thing because I'm not an extrovert. And it was a roller skating party where everyone was dressed like the eighties. That's just not my jam. So we went to very little of the party. But then a bunch of people wanted to go toe like a midnight movie, and I said yes to that, too. So there's just a lot of yeses.

spk_3:   31:19
Green launches. Another shock. I was like, Oh, she she's already spent the whole evening with me. Now she's tired. Tired of me, I'm sure, and just wants toe to go home. And because it was late, I was like 11 30. And she's like, No, let's go. And we went on. Wasn't it, like the football movie or something like, I

spk_2:   31:37
don't even remember what movie it was. I remember what movie theater it was, but not the movie. So then he invited me to go to Piz Mo. We went to you, invited me to Pismo. And, of course, so we both work at the well, he had the day off and I had to ask Brent for the day. Awful. Why? I think I think I might be starting to have feelings for Chris. And he invited me to go to Pitt. Smell

spk_1:   32:02
a piece for me. Them looking for is how much communications going on during this time. Like, are you staying around each other a lot at work? Are you starting to have more cover?

spk_3:   32:11
So at work, she's starting to send me these little I chat messages and which we that's the way we communicate or would communicate as a staff, whatever. Send a message here and so on. But, um, it was more like, hey, I really like this song. And hey, like, um, just

spk_2:   32:32
moving at more.

spk_3:   32:33
Yeah, you could tell there was more of like wanting to spend time with me and wanting to know more about me and and, you know, like, just really stuff that obviously for the year and 1/2 prior totally blocked

spk_1:   32:51
off. So now, to go back to Song Solomon, there's time and communications are starting to happen. Intimacy is building, starting to build emotional relationship. You guys know that spiritual and physical attention is gonna follow that emotional relationship. So what does that look like as you proceed from there?

spk_3:   33:12
So as Shannon mentioned, we're going through the song of Solomon Siri's at the time. Um and so March 30th. Ah, 2010 is the day that I asked to court her, and I was very specific with courtship. Maybe because I read that book I kissed dating goodbye. But I wanted her to know that I wasn't trying her on like a I just want to date you and I think surely knew that. But I wanted to be very intentional, like, Hey, if this goes somewhere, Lord willing, like I want to marry you and actually use those words like when I asked her out on the beach of Piz Mo I said, Um, I said, Hey, I know that you've been noticing Maur and we've been spending more time together and I kind of like that and she said, I do to um And I said, I would really like to continue and she said, I do too And it's like, um would, you know and I can't remember exactly how I phrased it. But I said we would you court me, Um, would you would you into recording relationship or something? We're Hopefully I said it better than that. But, um made it official. It wasn't wasn't ambiguous like a is this. And I wanted to be very like this is a you know, um, a flag in the sand moment like, will you court me? And she said yes. And so that was kind of like, OK, this is official. And if it goes well, we both knew that this is headed towards marriage and ah, on the right home is actually where because we're going through Song of Solomon and Brad's, um, you know, kind of driving this home Thio. You know everybody who was in according or dating or whatever type of relationship. Instead of asking the question. How far can I go ask, How holy can I be in a relationship? And so that's that was my approach to Shannon's and in, um, speaking with some other mentors, Mike's Laden And, um, he's just he's always, you know, been somebody that I bounce ideas off of and and I, you know, talked him, like what about this whole kissing thing? And he's like, honestly, like, I think, um, that should come with some sort of commitment. Um, if you're going to kiss a girl because usually just leads to other things. And so I was up front with her in the car on the way home like, um, this kind of sound setting boundaries like, hey, like, I think you're beautiful and and and all these things, but at the same time, like, we really gotta guard how we go about this relationship. And I think I told her I'm not gonna kiss you unless it comes with a commitment. And so, um, those were some of the things that I laid out to her. And then also I kind of shared with her Just Khushi Khushi signed up the court, if you will like I was like, Shannon, I for me. I've been very blessed to have a good Christian folks to raise me and to kind of lead me in the church. And with that being said, like, I don't do drugs, I'm not addicted alcohol. I don't curse. Um, there's all these things that I don't do. And the thing that Satan does or a Satan's tool for me, as far as bringing me down and and helping me fall is the area pornography and falling that way. That has been my issue is faras, you know, like a stumbling block for me. It's not. It's not drugs, alcohol, sex even, you know, I'm still avert at this time is still a virgin and and feeling that I could enter this relationship with Shannon in a appropriate way and wait till marriage. Um, but there was just this, you know, underlining thing of like, this is my my issue that I wrestle with, um, from time to time and laying it out there so there's no surprises of I guess who she signed up with, you know? So

spk_2:   37:32
what was your response to that? Um I just listened. I feel like I just listened. And I felt appreciative that he felt comfortable enough to share something so vulnerable with me. And that's where, like, you're saying at that point, that is when that emotional intimacy really started to grow. We had amazing conversations. I mean, is it was a long drive, So that was great that we had that time and he just led so well, Thio set up that boundary for us to not we, we chose to not kiss in less. We were engaged. So that was the commitment that he was talking about. I do think that we held hands on the drive home.

spk_3:   38:09
We did help. We did hold hands. And I did. I would give her princess kisses to where I would kneel every almost every time. I'd say good night to her and I would grab her hand and I would kiss her hand and and just kiss her. Good night that way. Um, but nowhere on the lips or anything like that. Just I would kiss her hand and then that was it. So we would hold hands in and I would kiss her hand. Good night.

spk_2:   38:36
So it is the question right is like How long can you do that? Right?

spk_1:   38:40
I already have to, like, commend you guys. I'm clapping. I, uh, again, I keep saying it. I don't get choked up or teary eyed or anything like that, but that isn't saying I commend both. Do you do that? I wish all guys could do that in and it can be done. You know, it's just

spk_3:   39:00
God's grace. It's it. And I mean, the reason I got married a virgin and Shana got married a virgin. It's God's grace. I can't boast in that at all. You know, like I feel other people paid the dumb tax for me and a lot of situations, and there were just other situations that could have gone south that got protected me from. And so again, I just I can't It's kind of like Paul, like some of these things I can't take, You know, I don't boast in that at all, and especially in my own strength for making it to married with not having sex. I just feel that was a a lot of God's covering in my life.

spk_1:   39:45
That's such a rarity. So I would say like you said, How long can that go. We would tagged out on in the next episode, which, if you continue listening, you're here. But for now, we're gonna fast forward a little bit. So eventually, Chris, you write a song which we have called Shannon Song Shannon Sung. So maybe tell us a little bit about that, and then I'm a plate right now so the listener can hear it. Okay, Just give us some background on it.

spk_3:   40:11
Yeah. So this is actually the song that I proposed to Shannon with and the first verse and chorus I had written in those stages where she didn't like me. So

spk_2:   40:32
amazingly enough, you wrote it. You started writing it while we were building the studio that it was later recorded

spk_0:   40:39
in. Yeah, actually recorded a year after we got married. But there's one I know what I swear. She drives him crazy from the very first time I loved into those blue screen night brain Lord. Someday she'll be my right now, he doesn't even notice singing the song before he proposes Thio re Indian going during this part when he's like talking about Shannon, I mean, I totally knew that this was happening. I didn't know this song. I thought multiple times before this that he was gonna propose to me. So I was finally within trying

spk_2:   41:38
to listen to the words because I hadn't heard it before.

spk_1:   41:48
So you're saying all that before? She even knew

spk_3:   41:50
I had that all

spk_0:   41:51
written before she even wanted anything to do with but her heart was locked for. My friends told me Friends told me to move on. Nick. She began to notice me, shine on a 99 and shedding. She's the girl. No mayor. So the Shauna not part There's Shannon and their show. Nana, Who's this alter ego that comes out? Or you don't know that you've seen Shin Ana, But it comes out every once in a while. It's the crazy shin

spk_3:   42:49
a banana. So Okay, But he knew this before. So did you get crazy,

spk_0:   42:58
like at work? And who are you, like,

spk_2:   43:01
silly? And the outgoing side of me that always present not like crazy

spk_1:   43:07
I was imagining

spk_0:   43:09
No, thanks. Now I understand. Every time we're together is the best day of my life. So I'm gonna tell her I'm actually singing this to my way Me shine on nine. So This is when I when I heard that ourselves like this and now you know, shine on 99 and Shannon say I say, Make me the man in your life today now Forever alone. Well, I'm happy to say the Lord heard my prayer. We've been married for over a year. That's right. She said, Yes, No way we're

spk_1:   44:13
gonna wrap this one up. We appreciate you listening and you're going to hear on the next episode that's where they were and where they came from. Now you're gonna hear about their marriage. Where they're currently at adoption will be in their interest, everyday struggles of marriage.

spk_0:   44:31
And then we'll find out more. So thank you for listening right now, and I'll see you on the next. For additional information about distinct ministries, go two distinct ministries dot org's. You can also follow the distinct podcast on Facebook and Instagram and email your questions and comments. Toe Andrea at distinct ministries dot org's

spk_1:   45:02
keep an eye out for our grandpas popcorn post on Instagram. Anyone that likes shares and comments gets 20% off their purchase, and the first person to comment, like in share, gets a free gallon bag of grandpas popcorn. Well,

spk_3:   45:17
she mentioned how hideous I looked with the braces, so we'll start there