Adoption - Chris and Shannon Beery

Part 2 with our good friends and mentors, Chris and Shannon Beery. In the following episode we cover what it looks like while dating and living above reproach. We also discuss the roller coaster of adoption.

Transcript

Drea:   0:02
thank you for listening to distinct podcast.

Nick:   0:08
So before we start, we want to talk about our favorite snack that we like to eat.

Drea:   0:15
Grandpas, popcorn, gourmet popcorn

Shannon:   0:23
and sweets for all your events. Birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, weddings and parties. Any kind of special event. Grandpa's popcorn. Visit them at their site at Grandpa's hyphen, popcorn dot com, or stop by the store on the southeast corner of First and Niece.

Drea:   0:46
Recorded live from Fresno, California This is the distinct podcast. Coming to the distinct podcast microphone today are Chris and Shannon Beery. Chris and Shannon have been married. Uh, well, well, a really long time. Just look at their three beautiful Children and you can see God's grace and blessing on this family. Chris leads worship with his very recognizable voice of the well Church, and Shannon might be remembered for her Miss California Teen USA victory years ago. But more about that on the podcast. Probably the most romantic thing about this couple is it. Chris wrote a song to propose marriage to Shannon, a story you've just got to hear more about. So why not now? Welcome Chris and Shannon Berry.

Nick:   1:34
Hello and welcome back. We're here with Chris and Shannon Berry.

Shannon:   1:39
Yo, yo yo. For

Chris:   1:40
two you talked about Princess gives is And what not what other boundaries did you guys intentionally set? What did it look like? A ce faras that? Hey, I'm a sit down on the half a conversation.

Shannon:   1:52
Well, at the time I was staying, I was roommates with a friend of mine, Chris. Meryl. And so there was kind of that accountability to cause he started courting a girl as well. And, uh, so there was that accountability of a girl's or not obviously sleeping over which I don't think was a huge concern. We

Nick:   2:14
But even we felt like we wanted to be above reproach. So we even talked about like, there's a point in time when we don't want people to see my car in front of his house or his car is still in my apartment, you know?

Shannon:   2:24
Yeah, wouldn't leave it. I mean, even if it was for good reason, like, Hey, we'll leave my car at your house and we'll go That just for the perspective of again trying to live above reproach And hey, how holy can we do this marriage or this courtship. Um, you know what's gonna get people the wrong and attention like, Oh, that Chris's car was left there last night. Did he stay the night? I didn't want to give him anybody that sort of, um I guess

Nick:   2:54
the wrong idea. Or there's another layer to because we're both really involved in ministry. I was serving in the youth ministry. Chris was platform ministry with leading worship. We didn't want to compromise our ministry either. So more than just doing our relationship right, we felt like we I kind of saw a bigger picture of how that can impact the body that we were a part of. So, um, yeah, it was pretty much we did not kiss until we got engaged. And, uh,

Chris:   3:28
did you guys get into situations where things could have gotten risky? And what did what did that look like in

Shannon:   3:35
there? I mean, there were times when we were actually courting when we were over at each other's house. Ends are roommates, weren't there that, you know, obviously, the temptation was a lot more

Nick:   3:48
time to go like one of those things Go

Drea:   3:50
to your cold

Nick:   3:51
shower like not here, but go home we go. Take it

Shannon:   3:57
so but we kind of knew where our parameters were in when we felt we were getting close to crossing the line like I'm out or you're out, whatever, wherever it was. But that obviously that was the most tempting spots when we are at a house alone with no but heels around. And so I think just for anybody in a courting or dating relationship just thio don't you know, you play with fire, you're gonna get burned. Don't put yourself in a situation where you're going to fail. Um, you know, I didn't feel like we were gonna fail because we hadn't, I guess failed in our lives up into that point. But the closest that we came was definitely when we had those alone times,

Nick:   4:45
probably when we were engaged, because the last little bit we had gotten our apartment and he moved into that. And so then it's like there's no roommate that's going to come home, right? So I think even to kind of wrap it up, I had said in the previous little episode, How long can you do that? We on Lee courted for three months. He proposed and our engagement was three months. So don't try to do it for a long time. If you know that you're gonna marry this person, just do it. And don't put yourself through that because there are limitations to our flesh. I mean, our flesh speaks louder than sometimes we can handle and just making it short. We got a lot of people counseled us that we had amazing people around us at that time and now even to But, um, it was just so huge for us to have the council in those types of areas and specific recommendations of just get married. So we did

Chris:   5:39
so for Dre and I after everything happened with us. Um, we had to sit down and have this talk. So the talk that we should have had before getting married, we ended up having seven years later. But some hard boundaries that we set so not being alone with somebody of the opposite sex was one not talking about emotions. And I could even be in situations where we're working with somebody or we're just friends. Whatever it is on, they're

Nick:   6:11
still talking about different kind of boundaries, though with other people

Chris:   6:15
I will.

Drea:   6:15
So I'm giving

Chris:   6:16
examples of these air boundaries that we have as a married, not married couple. Yeah. So not talking about emotions, not talking about relationships, um, giving gifts, things like that. So those are some examples of boundaries that we have in marriage. Were there other boundaries like that that you said? Like, hey, these air post flags in the ground lines that we won't cross? Obviously, it was kissing with one engagement. Were there others that you can think of that you had set? Well,

Shannon:   6:45
I think I know just Hey, look, we are gonna have sex till we marry. That was just kind of a given. We're going to do this right? We've seen so many relationships that aren't done well, that didn't do it right. And it's like they were this far into it. Let's just finish this thing strong and, um, you know, and have this be a part of our story in a good way versus, like, a we almost you know how to get a good story. And then, you know, we failed there at the end. Um, but again, God's grace, I feel like we Shannon was saying We had really good mentors and people in her life and good friends. And even with that, even with the strength of a strong community around you, I still feel like, um, it's hard, you know, like praise The Lord was homey. Ah, three month engagement. I can't imagine, you know, like doing it for, like, a year or two. And just trying to be pure in that amount of link. The time now, granite If you're a younger couple, you know, like in your teens or early twenties. And I can understand maybe the process of a longer engagement. Um, but for me, like three, three months, just enough time to plan the wedding. That's that's all you need.

Chris:   8:06
So, uh, for when we had our last guest on, I say we had talked about why? Why not have sex before getting married For the people out there, they're listening that think that that's a silly rule or their mom and dad Just that I don't know. Just do it. Why? Why would you wait?

Shannon:   8:22
Well, God's word specifically says, you know, one husband, one wife in the context of marriage, and there's no commitment. If there's no I guess Covenant Covenant of Marriage is just trying somebody on. And it's not going according to the person who designed sex in the first place and marriage in the first place. God. And so I feel like we in our sinful nature, we feel like we're missing out, like, you know, a somebody who didn't have sex. Still, you know, like we didn't get married till I was 29. Um, and it was tough, you know, I'd see friends married, and then those friends got married. Also got divorced. Some of them, you know, it's like, God, I'm just trying to serve you and honor you and live for you. And And why not me? Why can't I find somebody? And so, um, it's It was very, very challenging to, I guess, Wait. But I knew by waiting that, um, the gift of what God created marriage and sex to be would be so much better than going about it the way the world, um as Todd, Todd, Us.

Nick:   9:35
Yeah. And I distinctly remember our wedding night and even kind of reflecting on it in the weeks after, um, the phrase that kept coming to my mind was naked and unashamed. So we see that And Genesis, in the beginning, when the world was a right and sin hadn't entered the world yet and doing it, I guess, right and not having sex until marriage. We were able to enjoy that again the way that God designed it. And so we were naked and unashamed because it was in the right context. So we didn't experience the shame, fullness of feeling like we needed to have the covering and find the leaves. Whereas I would suspect that, um, anyone that has sex before marriage might feel a sense of shame because their sin in the end. So that was a beautiful thing for us and highly recommend it

Chris:   10:31
so fast forward to you guys being married where you're at now. And I'm assuming so kind of hearing from everything that we've already talked about. I would say It's like you guys have, like a good upbringing childhood. Um, we're kind of searching for those that broke in this in, and I think God's kind of just giving you this gift of your lives and how they've gone. And here you are. And now you're a testament to obedience and yearning encouragement to people are trying to live that way. Uh, now that you're married, what do you experiencing? Are their struggles And what can you encourage other people with?

Shannon:   11:14
I guess I'll start. Uh, just I think there's a myth. I think I told you guys in my last episode what my struggle is in the area of, like, lust in pornography and and just dealing with so accessible, especially in our culture. And in this day and age and and you don't need enough to search for it. I'll get a friend request on Facebook or somebody like my instagram posts. And like, Who's this? I'm like you get like, I don't

Drea:   11:40
not very many, but every once in a while,

Shannon:   11:43
um, but just like in. And if you're not able to, um, you know, go to the Lord for strength and flee temptation, like for me, that's that's my biggest thing. And, um, I think for the first year, probably two years, I don't know. That was much of a struggle at all. Um, I was you know, it was it was it a cured me. He know it got married, and now that is not no longer an issue, but that's not the truth. I think it was. It's something that my flesh wrestles with in that something after daily died of myself, to trust God with. But I remember I didn't even look at anything. Um, but we had TV, and I remember scrolling through and just getting to some of the the you know, the higher number channels where it would show the listings of some adult movies. And I remember I was so convicted that I was like, Shannon, I gotta tell you, I didn't look at anything. But just the fact that I would even be there is it's just, you know, I feel so much guilt and so much shame and and what have you and I wish you know, that would be the extent of it since we've been married. But there's been, um, you know, times were I've fallen in that area and and I have to go to Shannon and Repent and then have to go to Shannon and repent again. And just, um, that has been, I guess, for me just the hardest thing because I love God so much, and I know it breaks his heart and I love Shannon so much, and I know it breaks her heart and just that battle of of the flesh like that Paul says in Romans of just like the thing that I want to do, I don't do And the thing that I don't want to do, I do it And you know, just who will save me from this body of sin. Like I I understand that completely completely, because that is, you know, my struggle, Um, and so that has, you know, kind of been unfortunately, just peppered in our nine years almost, um, almost nine years of marriage here in November. Um, for me, it's just like if I could just never look at something like that again, like we would be fine and just the reality of how Satan's tactics and how, um, you know, just I'm trying to abide in Christ, try to invite in Christ, but there's weak moments that happen. Um,

Chris:   14:22
so how does that play a role between you guys? So when he falls and he's bringing that to you, what does that conversation look like?

Nick:   14:32
You know, I've heard other wives talk about this issue, and I feel like it's different for everyone. But, um, for me, I have always really felt this kind of peace, like he's in the Lord's hands, you know, and in whatever he's wrestling through, whether it be pornography or other things in life. I just always have trusted that he's pursuing Jesus and I see him do that. It's not just a blind trust. I see him do that. And so I know that he's on his own sanctification journey, just like I am. And so there's I've never had trouble forgiving and moving forward. I don't I hope that he feels that, too. But, um, I've just always felt like in some ways on the other side. I feel almost guilty that I don't pray for him enough in that. And I'm not as involved in helping him, um, work through those fleshly struggles because I have almost too much faith that God is just handling it. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I definitely feel like I could do more, just even in prayer for him for that, But I've just always felt like God's got this in God's working on him, and that is between him and the Lord I I have never felt like this has anything to do with me or that there's, like, a comparison of these images or anything like that. I have not personally struggle with that. I know other women. D'oh! But that's not been part of our story. So what are some other things in your marriage that you guys thought? We're gonna go smoothly, but didn't Good question? Um, yeah. I feel like up until marriage, God was just really kind of calling us to himself into each other. And then the sanctification really began as trials began. Right? So, um, there's kind of a natural thing of what comes next. So you're married, And then what's the first question everyone asks you? When are you gonna have babies? You know? So we IDed residency the first year of our marriage, and then we decided we're gonna go to the Israel trip. Lucky. Yeah, I know you guys gotta go on. And then, um, that was our thing. Where as soon as we're done, Well, maybe you went on the trip. We're gonna start trying to make babies. Um, but, you know, you start testing this pregnancy tests and don't get pregnant. right away. We did. We got pregnant a couple months into trying and then had a really early miscarriage, so that did not go as planned. Then we got pregnant and lost a job. And, um, our first son was born premature. He was in the Nicky for 12 days. And all these things that I had thought were the next school in my life the thing I was trying to attain next time. Ah, goal driven person. I just was that broken? This scheme you ask Chris about kind of broken is the Brokenness came for me and in the pursuit of those things and it not going instagram perfect Ray and being disappointed and wonder, like why God, why why can I not have the joy in this? You know? And so I feel like over the last nine years of marriage, I have my my perspective has shifted that those things are not the goal that my eyes need toe always be fixed on Jesus. He's my goal. And all of those natural flows of life of what comes next. Babies, more babies, pregnancy complications coming with all of those babies. And, um, it not going smoothly They're all opportunities for us to glorify God and for him to continue to chip away at our hearts, that sanctification process where he's working on us and threw us. And now I feel like after going through so many of these things, Um, just seeing God changed my heart, my perspective, to know one, to see his faithfulness, how he's gotten us through all of those things, but that I'm kind of like I feel like we kind of talked about before. Bring it on because, um, it's an honor to be able Thio, walk through hard things in life and tow, have God even feel physically xer present and teach you new things, but also use you in new ways where if we did not have this Brokenness in our life for inter marriage or inner story or, you know, if we didn't have a child in the nick you, then I couldn't be the same ministry to this other mom who has a child that's in hospital. You know that your ministry opportunity opens up so much more. God uses you in different ways, like Chris's lung collapse, and he had the opportunity to bring somebody to the Lord because he was in the hospital room with him. God needed his lung to collapse so that he could be present in that space and have that divine meeting with Christian, who then became Christian two point. Oh, so, yes, we have definitely had, um, obstacles and trials in our marriage, and I know that there will be more, but hopefully the lessons that he's taught us through that will change your perspective as we meet the next one. The next track. Now, with your fourth baby, you guys are going to be adopting. We are, so that's very exciting. You're very excited. What's that process look like right now? Like what emotions they're going through. And what are the, um, not so smooth things going through with that? Yeah, well, there's a lot of waiting involved in adoption. That is kind of our current trial. I guess you could say we have been waiting for 10 months to be matched with a birth mom. So we're doing domestic infant adoption where birth one will choose us, usually before her child has been born. And there was another potential situation that was outside of our agency. So there's that rejection of, um, you know, they didn't like us. They didn't choose us. But, um, like I said, before going through other trials in her life, like we have to choose that we're trusting God, we trust God that he called us to this type of adoption versus foster care. You know, we trust that God has called us to this specific agency when there's been months in the past where we hear nothing from them. And we're like art. Hello? Are you still there? You know, we have Thio. We trust that we've been called to this agency, and we also trust that with each birth, one that chooses someone else that there is a reason why God is orchestrating all of this with perfection in Chris does a great job through this process of encouraging me through Scripture, um, one of the versus that he shared with me recently out of Hebrews. Um says now faith is the assurance of things hoped for the conviction of things not yet seen. Um, we definitely have faith. And we hope for this child. And I didn't imagine that the process would be as hard as it is. Um, when you're pregnant with the child, you anticipate their arrival. But you know, generally when that will be for us, it could be It could have been nine months ago, you know? And so we've been ready that whole time like that last couple weeks of your pregnancy when you're like it could happen any moment, that's we've been in that season for 10 months. So with every potential match, we get prepared, we get ready, we get our heart invested in this there's room and our heart that has grown just like when you are pregnant. You have three kids already. You're pregnant with your fourth. You're you feel sometimes how can I love you know another child? People ask that all the time. It's like your heart as the baby grows inside of your heart grows room for this child, and you just fall in love with them. And we, even though we don't know where they are, what their story is. We love this child and miss this child like we miss our other Children. And it's so it's been hard. The waiting is hard, but we also I have seen God's faithfulness through all the other trials that we've been through that we feel like we can't even though there's Brokenness and it's hard and it's hurtful. Sometimes I wouldn't save quite so drastically is hurtful. But even though it's hard, sometimes we trust that, Um and there's another risk that's coming to my name and read this one. And I'm sure of this that he who began a good working you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. And I feel like that comes to mind a lot, too, because I have. Obviously, we said I asked Chris, before we be in courting, how do you feel about adoption? So this has been on my heart since I was a child. My parents had considered adoption as I was in young adulthood, and I would hear stories of families adopting Lee tell me everything. Tell me those right is was like addicted to adoption stories. And so, yeah, that's what was really important to me, that my husband would be open to this because it was a huge desire of mine, too. Be a forever family for someone that needed it and for it to really be permanent. There were lots of wonderful people in my life that were mentors to me that, um, were role models to me. But nothing I wasn't doing Christmas with them. I wasn't going on family vacations. It wasn't a permanent true family. And so being that to someone else is just always been something that God has put all my heart.

Chris:   24:09
So, Chris, where do you stand on all this?

Shannon:   24:12
Um, I'm excited to adopt, um, baby number four. Ah, I feel it's a huge part of our story, you know, going back to when we first started courting that conversation that we had that marked moment where she asked me, How do you feel? And I remember responding in that moment was I don't you know, I wasn't adopted, and no family members that I know of are adopted. I don't really have any adopted friends, but I do know that I've been adopted into God's family. And I know God's hearts for the orphan and for the widow. And so, yes, I'm totally open to it. And, um, I did express that. Hey, I wouldn't I would like to see if God has equipped me toe have kids of our own, you know, like, um, at some point in our courting relationship. Um, we talked about that, and it's like I wanted to at least have you no biological kids. And we've had three. We have three amazing kids that air beautiful, healthy Children. And a lot of people are even asking us Why do you wanna adopt? You have three wonderful kids and, um, I, the heart that God has put on me is just that a You've been adopted into God's family, and there's a huge need out there for, uh, Children's that don't have good fathers that don't have good mothers or just don't even, um, have have a good home at all. And I look at the kind of home that I hope we're providing, um, for kids that's rooted in Christ, that we want to invite another child or Children. However, God wants to make that happen. And the reason I say that because we got a call, you know, like last week, like, Hey, we've got twins like, uh okay, yeah, let's let's let's see what

Drea:   26:02
happens. Let's see what

Shannon:   26:03
the Lord does. So where it is just a faith journey that I'm excited about, and, um I've talked with Shannon about this that I feel like God has really throughout life. There's always gonna be a faith journey that you have to go through, like in Hebrews. 11. Um, Verse six says without faith, it's impossible to please God. And I feel God always puts something that you're going to need him for, That you're gonna need him. Trust him for, you know, when you when you're young and you can't drive a car yellow If I could just drive a car, then I could leave and go get food whenever I want. And I don't need a, you know, stay at the house and I can be more mobile, and then you, you know, get the car and they're like, Oh, well, if I could just now, uh, date a girl, that would be cool. You know? It's like I wantto get a girlfriend. Whatever. Then it's like, Well, what about getting married? Okay, if I could just get married then then such and such, then everything's gonna be great. Then you get married like oh, well, if we could just have kids, you know, if we could just have a kid. Well, now, if I could just have a girl to, or whatever it might be, there's always gonna be something that you're gonna need to have faith for, and that's been constant throughout my life and no exception now, like we're in a season of just trusting God, Um, with we believe is a baby girl. That's we have boy, girl, boy. And we're hoping for a baby girl to kind of even the score, so to speak. But God may have different plans. We don't know. Um, we're just trusting him. We, um we know that his timing is different than our timing was our timing. We would already have a baby in our house, and we've already been paired with the birth mother. But we also understand that God's in control and that, um, you know, I firmly believe that there is a child that God before the foundations of the earth, just like he knew I was gonna be born, you know, to my certain family before Shannon and I were even board. There's a child that God had wanted to be part of her family, and he's gonna make that happen in his perfect timing. And so we're just we're holding on to hope and faith and and hopefully you don't have to wait as long as Abraham did. Um, but we don't know. Um, again, God's timing is perfect, E. And, uh, we're just gonna see what he does.

Nick:   28:36
So what are the things that you guys learned through the adoption process? Yes. So far, I feel like, Ah, it's not at all what I thought it would be like. So Oh, definitely thought it would go quicker than this. But just the process of waiting is in and of itself, its own very intense sanctifying process. And I feel like even for me individually, God has put me on this whole personal growth path. I guess going through this process in waiting and getting news that there is a birth mom. And then it's been such an honor and a privilege to be able to pray for these women each time because we don't know their full story. We get a paragraph or two in an email and asked if we want a profile presented to them. And but in that time period, where we're waiting to hear, if they've chosen us, we get to pray. We get to pray for her some most often times by name, and we don't know if she has believers around her praying for her. This is a hard decision, and there's Brokenness in it. And, um, yes. So it's just been an honor and a privilege to be able to pray for these birth mom's in to pray together and even with other families that are going to the process with us, to be able to come together and be perspective adoptive families but praying for birth families and just the heart that I have grown for birth families and really hoping for an open adoption because of it, you know, it's Chris was saying, like wanting Thio, um, kind of be a father to the fatherless, our kids that maybe don't have good moms or good dads. I mean, it's not that we're all sinners, right? So it's not like we're any better than them. We're no different. But we have Jesus, and he has transformed our lives in our hope. Is that each one of those birth mom's? Now I'm gonna cry each one of those birth mom's that we have already prayed for that, even though they didn't choose us that because of our journey, that we've had the opportunity pray for them and still, d'oh that they do find him in that their story is different, that the circumstances they're in that are causing them. Thio consider an adoption plan. Um would change because of Jesus transforming their life and not one day they can have a different relationship with their birth family. And we hope that we can come alongside the birth, one that does choose us and have an open adoption where she's a part of their life. And she's a part of our life and that we can be a blessing in ministry minister to her as well. So, um, I feel like when we entered the adoption process, we I kind of thought we wanted a closed adoption because of all the fear is that is the child gonna want to go back to their birth family? Are they gonna feel like we're not the real parents? Or is there, um, safety issues for other Children or are even adopted child, you know, depending on circumstances of birth, family and life choices or whatever, But, um, I feel like God has changed our heart as we've been more educated and more exposed Thio or think here.

Shannon:   31:46
I'm just thinking about like, the fact that we're all the way through the process. And I mean, it's a very expensive process. And when we're kind of getting the numbers were like I'm thinking in my head It's like I don't make this kind of money like, I don't even know how we're gonna adopt especially private infant adoption. It's like the more expensive route to go, if you will, Um, and just to see how many prayers God has answered. I did a fundraiser meet, raised quite a bit of money. And then, um, she and I partnered and did another fund raiser. Braids race pretty much all that we needed. And then we, ah, submitted for a grant and got a grant

Nick:   32:32
that basically completed the funds that we needed. So they they told us a kind of amount that we needed to prepare for, and we did. Within two months, we had raised a pretty decent sized chunk of money, Um, probably 3/4 of a mountain, and then we play for this grant, and people said, Oh, yeah, maybe like you maybe we'll get 1000 $2000 the most in grant money, and we got a $6000 grant that bridged that gap. So how long have you guys been starting this adoption? Like from even the funding. Okay, so it's been January 2nd. They told us that the youngest child in her home had to be a year before a year old before we could put in our application. So we had done a like in, um, like a one, a one kind of a class or just get an information kind of a class at our agency. And Elijah was maybe 10 months old. They said sorry, like we can talk again, said, Oh, please, I know how long the process takes, you know, and our kids are pretty close together. So one of the things for me is I really wanted them. I I I Not God see, his plan is different, but I wanted them close together because I didn't want our fourth child to feel adopted and younger. I didn't want there to be extra layers on top of that, so I mean, we're not even quite 2.5 years between the life is not quite to now years old yet so I don't know, see what God does, but, um, so she said, I could probably get you permission to put in your application January 1st. They're closed. January 1st. Eliza's birthday is February 2nd. So January 2nd, I was at the front door with our application. Everything filled out. So he was one month shy of being a year old, and they let us put in her application. So January 2018 is when we put in our application. September 6th, Um, 2018 was our home inspection, so that was kind of the last thing that they needed to do at that time. Then they could start presenting our profile book. So it's been about 10 months now. I guess January 6 would be 10 months since we've been approved officially, a family and waiting is what they call it, which means you've been all approved by an agency and you can be matched with a birth moment anytime. So

Chris:   34:50
that's good. And we'll be praying for you guys, Um, as far as the listeners, you guys have any last thoughts for him.

Shannon:   34:57
I just want to encourage you know any listeners out there? That man One. We serve an incredible god. And the whole reason I think Shannon and I have a story at all is because, um just what an incredible God that we serve, who it is has led us, um, through his word and as positioned us with people around us to mentor us and equip us and a challenge us. And right now we're in this, you know, unknown season of adoption. But we love Jesus so much, we don't know the outcome. It has not been an easy process. Um, up into this point as faras, you know up. No, your profile wasn't selected up. No, your profile wasn't selected. And then months you don't hear anything. And then some weeks, you, you know, like this Last couple weeks, we've had, like, two, maybe three phone calls or e mails saying, Hey, there's a birth mother. So there's just a lot of waiting. Um but just to know that God is in control and seek first, his kingdom and all these things, all these other things you know will be added unto you But first seek God in everything and that would be my, you know, admonition that be, you know, kind of. The thing that I would drive is to seek after his word. If you're in a relationship, what does it look like to have a healthy relationship? Well, go to God's word. You know, if you're going through a difficult time in your marriage, you know, go to God's word. Um, just seek versus kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added into you. What he got?

Nick:   36:40
Yeah, um, he's in the waiting. So there's a song that I just listen to over and over and that it's she sings that he's in the waiting and even if we never got matched what God has done in my own heart, what God has done in us he has purpose in that. Do I have faith of that now? Faith The assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not yet seen. I d'oh, I have I have faith and the assurance that he brought us here. And he has this honest this journey, and he is going to bring it to completion in the form of us adopting a child. But even if we get matched with a birth mom, and she changes her mind at the end like that is part of how he's using us. So just trusting God and recognizing that whatever you are waiting for, it might not be adoption. Maybe it is a lost job. You're finding a new job. Maybe it is complications in pregnancy, and you're just waiting to hold a healthy baby because you're just worried all the time. He is in that waiting into. But you have to be intentional with it, too, because if you just sit in that and just worry and wait, it's not. It's not healthy, and it's not going to be productive, and there's no purpose that comes from that. So in the sweeping, I've felt like we've I've I've particularly needed to be very intentional of finding purpose and it being very intentional to pray regularly for these women, even the ones that have have come and gone, and to be intentional, too, um, do things and find things and fill my mind and my heart with things that are going to encourage me, but also educate me and prepare me and, um, just bring me back to Jesus and search for him in the eye and not just sit and load about the waiting and whatever is that we're waiting on. Okay, well, thank you, guys. Thank you for coming here

Drea:   38:34
and telling your story or

Nick:   38:36
the story that God has given you. And it's very encouraging to hear how faithful you guys have been through your trials and

Shannon:   38:46
through all

Nick:   38:46
of the even those rejections, because that's a hard thing. And then Thio just given all to the Lord like that's amazing for me just to see. And you guys have played this role. You don't have to say anything but what you guys were doing, and I'm just watching you. I still and I'm like, Wow, that that is so awesome just to see the strength that he is giving you guys so

Chris:   39:11
very encouraging. Thank you for being

Shannon:   39:14
our friends. Thank you so much for having us. Yeah. Yeah, this is awesome.

Chris:   39:18
Well, we will have you guys on for sure again, because there's so much that we had to skip. But we want to think the listeners again. Thank you guys.

Drea:   39:25
Take care for additional information about distinct ministries. Go. Two distinct ministries dot or GE. You can also follow the distinct podcast on Facebook and Instagram and email your questions and comments. Toe Andrea at distinct ministries dot org's

Nick:   39:52
time to go like one of those things. Go

Drea:   39:54
to your cold

Nick:   39:54
shower like not here, but go home and go take a cold.