EP 77 Does this ever get better?

“Does it ever get better?”

“Please tell me it gets better.” “I can’t keep living this way.” 

Have you also asked the same question? Are you feeling the same way?

Let’s talk more about these questions in this episode.

Episode Pointers :

• Someone else’s experience doesn’t mean it has to be yours. 
• I remember feeling this way, and I remember wondering if I would ever have joy again.

           Is it even possible for me to feel that deep true joy that I felt before Aria died?

Would I just be empty the rest of my life?

I wanted to hear from other moms. I wanted to know that it could get better. I had to know that it could change, so that I could know I wouldn’t be living this way the rest of my life.

• I’m forever grateful to the mom who did tell me. You will feel joy again. It’s possible, it will be different, it’s a different kind of joy, but it can still be deep, full, absolute joy.

To know it was possible, and then continue to be okay with being right where i was in the muck. In the hole of grief. But to see that shining light ahead of me to know that the grief work was worth it. Processing grief was worth it and it will bring me a reward.

• So- to you wondering if it will ever get better? I can absolutely say yes. Yes it can get better. Yes it can change. Yes you can learn to live again. Maybe not right now, maybe not yet for you, but it’s absolutely possible.
• You cannot learn to hold grief and joy, without first holding space for grief. Not a wallowing in grief, but a processing of grief. Wallowing in grief only keeps you cycling and stuck, processing grief allows you to flow in and out of the emotions that come. Processing gives you the permission to deeply feel the pain, agony, grief, sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, depression whatever it is that’s coming up for you, and then coming to an ending of it.

It’s intentional. You have to decide that you are allowed to grieve. You have to decide that you are worth the work. You have to decide that you want to learn to live again, so you are going to sit in the muck and do the work.

• Time can take a bit of an edge of the pain, but time truly does nothing. It’s what you do with the time that counts.
• Time does nothing. You do not have to suffer your whole life. You really don’t. You can learn to live with this. While I know you didn’t choose for your child to die. I know you didn’t deserve it. I know you don’t want to live this way. Each of us gets a choice in how we move forward. In how we pick up the pieces of our broken heart. 

If you want things to get better, it takes action, work, and intention. So join me next week, on the 13th, 14th, and 15th for Relief in Grief. You can go to www.reliefingriefsupportgroup.com to register and save your spot!

If you want to apply for a spot for 1:1 Grief Coaching, go to www.meganhillukka.com/griefcoaching

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community