The Joyful Mom Podcast

81 : You Cannot Wish Trauma Away

February 04, 2021 Megan Hillukka
The Joyful Mom Podcast
81 : You Cannot Wish Trauma Away
Show Notes

Experiencing trauma or PTSD while grieving is so challenging. The pain is doubled.You need to deal both of these intense feelings. But how?

In this episode, we are going to talk about dealing with trauma while grieving.No matter how many wishes or prayers we need to do, it won’t go away without doing the right actions.

Most of you know that my 15 month old daughter died in her sleep, but if you’re new here, that’s my story, and 4 weeks after she died, our next baby girl was born. So sleep became a huge issue for me. Someone had told me that they would put their baby down to bed, and make sure they were safe, and then they would put her in God’s hands. They would say okay, now God it’s up to you. I tried that. 

I would put my daughter to sleep, and make sure she was as safe as I could make her, and then give it to God. But less than 5 minutes later I would pop up in an absolute panic, shaking her, my heart pounding, believing that she had died. This was my life. No prayers, thoughts can make it better.

  • Get the help you need for trauma. This is not a way to live, and just pushing through every day will not make it better. You have to heal the trauma and help your body come out of a fight or flight state. Your body needs to know it’s safe and it’s okay to file that memory in the past. Trauma is not something to mess around with, or just push for another day. It truly matters, and it affects every portion of your life.

Some ideas to help with trauma: 

  1. EMDR ( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
  2. Emotional Freedom Technique
  3. Somatic Experiencing
  4. Books related to Trauma :

 4.1. The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

                        4.2. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by  Dr. Peter Levine

                        4.3. Healing Trauma by  Dr. Peter Levine


If you want some extra guidance with grief, and to get access to some Emotional Freedom Technique Tappings that I have, I have a workshop called Stop Talking, Start Feeling, where it will help you begin to connect with your body, the emotions within, and begin to release the energy of emotions that are stuck in your body. This workshop specifically goes into the emotions of guilt and sadness, with so many other things.If you are interested in joining this workshop it’s only $27, and you can get it by going to www.meganhillukka.com/workshop

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

You can go here to find a therapist who is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). This therapy was amazingly helpful for me with PTSD, and lowering my symptoms to a livable level.