Episode Pointers:
- I know how quickly we can begin to pick apart and judge ourselves.
- I want you to look at yourself and your life with curiosity and ask:
- Where can I take responsibility?
- Where is it not my responsibility to take?
- Do I need to set up boundaries?
- When your cup is full, you cannot learn anything new.I hope you can open your heart and mind to talking about responsibility today.
What does it mean to take responsibility? There’s a term called taking radical responsibility. That you take responsibility for everything in your life.
- We wait for others to be better, and blame them for our problems. We do not have control over other people's actions or emotions. If we spend our lives trying to control how other people are going to act or feel, we lead a very depressing life because we have no control over that.
- The only person that you have control over, is you. You are the only person that can be responsible for your emotions, your thoughts, and your actions. Underneath that, is that no one else can make you feel or act a certain way.
- It’s easy to blame others who make you sad, angry, frustrated and things like that. And this doesn’t mean you can’t have conversations about how you are feeling, or boundaries or anything like that. But that you have thoughts about what happened, and that’s what causes the emotion.
- How does this relate to grief? Grief magnifies everything. It makes our emotions bigger, it makes our actions more extreme, it makes what triggers us more intense, it makes our reactions and responses more intense.
- I know it feels easier to blame others. It’s easier to play victim and blame everyone else, instead of diving into the work.
- We all get to make the choice in how we move forward in our lives.
When you say you are not making a choice, you are making a choice. You make a choice to get up or stay down. Not choosing or giving up, is also a choice. So whatever you decide, this is the choice you make.
- You can make choices that help you where you want to go, or choices that cause a lot more pain to you and the ones you love.
- This is how you can begin to take responsibility in your life. Taking responsibility gives you freedom and the ability to make the changes you want, because you are not waiting for someone else to come in and do it for you. You can immediately start to judge yourself and the choices you have made in your grief journey thus far, or you can decide that taking responsibility is empowering and gives you the reins back in your life to get up and start taking steps to where you want to go.
- When taking responsibility, you can also draw boundaries and you do not need to take on things that are not yours.
If you are ready to do this work, and you want a guide and a coach to help you sift through the emotions, the thoughts, and all the things that are keeping you stuck where you are at and from fully living your life even though the worst has happened, check out www.carryinggriefcoaching.com to learn how you can work 1:1 with me and I can help guide you through this.
If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community