Becoming Before Finding: God's Marriage Prep Plan

Marriage requires not just finding the right person, but becoming the right person by drawing closer to God and developing the character He desires in us.

• God teaches you to seek Him first before seeking a spouse
• Your future spouse doesn't complete you—only God completes you
• God builds your character through developing the fruits of the Spirit
• Self-control is particularly crucial in both dating and marriage
• Healing from past wounds prevents bringing baggage into marriage
• Submission means serving each other, not just following orders
• Many people meet their spouse while serving at church
• Spiritual alignment happens when both partners pursue God individually
• Focus on your own growth rather than trying to fix your potential spouse
• God isn't withholding a spouse—He's preparing you to be one

If you loved this conversation, hit that like button, subscribe, and share it with someone who's in a dating relationship or waiting for their future spouse. Drop a comment letting us know which fruit of the Spirit God is working on in your life right now.

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Transcript

Introduction to Marriage Preparation

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey everyone , today we're digging into a real one how God prepares you for marriage . Marriage is just not about finding the right one , but it's also about becoming the right one , becoming exactly who God has created you to be . So we're going to dig into that . We can keep it short , sweet and straight to the point , maybe under even 10 minutes . That'd be great . So welcome to let's Dig the Podcast . We are here to help you grow deeper relationship with God , others and yourself .

Speaker 2 0:26

And if you know someone who's dating or maybe you're dating , maybe you are waiting for that spouse , for God to send them into your life hit the share button , Send it to someone . Maybe you're in that relationship and you're dating someone already praying that they are the one . Send this to them so that they can join this conversation with you and with us . So if you're ready , let's dig .

Seeking God First

Speaker 1 0:48

All right . Number one God teaches you how to seek him first . The Bible says in Matthew , chapter six . It says to seek God's kingdom and his righteousness , and everything else will be added . A lot of us are worried about everything . We're worried about who we're going to marry . We're worried about where we're going to live . We're worried about what kind of work we're going to have . We're worried about the job that we're in . We're worried about our friends , every situation . We're worried about how life is going to be after we retire . But God is actually saying don't even worry about those things . Tomorrow is not even promised . Actually , what you should be worrying about is worry about yourself .

Speaker 2 1:20

Well , worry about yourself and your relationship with God .

Speaker 1 1:23

He tells us to seek God first and his kingdom and everything else will be added . And I think that's so important because in marriage it's so important to know that when you face hardship and troubles , you need to understand that you can't run to your resources all the time . You need to build that muscle to run to God . Seek God .

Speaker 2 1:41

Yeah , I like to that . Like you're not looking for completion in a spouse , you are complete in God . Your spouse does not make you complete , God completes you . I always tell girls when I'm talking to them about relationships . I tell them this math equation , right they ? There's a saying that says that God is a God of multiplication . So one times one equals one . That is marriage , that is covenant . That is how he designed it to be . But if you are entering into a relationship for marriage and you are less than a whole person , you throw the whole equation off . One times zero is zero . You mess up the unity and what God has called the covenant to be . So you need two whole people to equal one in union , in a covenant with God .

Speaker 1 2:25

That's so good . So before God brings you someone , he brings you to him . He brings you to the one , the one that actually completes you . If you need a man to feel completed , if you need a girl to feel completed , you'll never find one . And when you do find one , you'll never feel completed , because no man , no woman can actually complete you Not at all . Only God can . So number one is God teaches us how to seek him first . What's

Building Your Character

Speaker 1 2:47

number ?

Speaker 2 2:47

two . Number two is God builds your character , and when we think about character , we think about the attributes of a person , who they are in the room , when they're in a position , when they're in a situation , who are they ? Are they kind , are they loving ? So we think about the fruits of the spirit . Are they patient ? That's a big one for marriage . Are you , do you have self-control ? That's a huge one for relationships of dating . Who you are ? Can you control yourself and your flesh ? Can you control your anger ? So I love that , in this relationship and in this point of God drawing you to him , he's building your character , he's putting you in positions that will build that patience , kindness , goodness , all the fruits of the spirit .

Speaker 1 3:30

Yeah , cause the truth is , marriage will test you . So God is trying to grow you All right . Galatians five we're talking about that the fruits of the spirit . So when you were in God , he gives you his spirit and the fruits of the spirits begin to produce in us . So the character is not just about what's happening on the outside .

Speaker 1 3:46

I know ladies , I know fellows right , we're all talking about hitting the gym , trying to look right . Especially here in Southern California , you're getting all types of treatments on your face , trying to look all good , trying to look all tight , all right and tight on the outside . But honestly , the outside is not what's going to keep you in a marriage , it's what's on the inside . So God actually wants to do a good work on the inside . So , galatians , chapter five , right , verse 22, . He starts talking about . He puts love in you , joy in you , peace , patience , kindness , goodness , gentleness , self-control . I always highlight on that self-control moment because right now for us it's so easy to like spaz on someone , it's so easy to have no patience with somebody , and so God is building us from the inside out . That's the second thing that God does as he prepares you for marriage .

Speaker 2 4:32

Crazy . Huh , it is super crazy .

Speaker 1 4:34

Before we say number three , I want to take a moment right now . If you already feel like this conversation or this topic right now is already blessing you , if you wouldn't mind , hit that like button . It blesses us , it tells the algorithm that this is a good conversation , send it to someone . If you're new to the page right now , if you wouldn't mind , just subscribing . Subscribing costs us nothing and I'm telling you every single conversation that we have . I can guarantee you right now it will bring value to your life . So hit that like button , hit that subscribe and send this to someone right now .

Speaker 2 5:04

And you can jump in the comments and tell us which fruit of the spirit that God's been working in your life right now . Maybe something that is hard for you is to actually be patient . Maybe something for you is hard to be using self-control and that really you want to eat that food out of emotionalism , or maybe you want to make that decision . That's actually not healthy . Share with us what you're walking through . I know for us there are a lot of things that there's just seasons where I'm like man God is really testing and growing my patience . Man God really is testing and growing my gentleness and how I respond to people . So drop in the comments what fruit of the spirit God is working in you right

Healing Your Wounds

Speaker 2 5:44

now .

Speaker 1 5:44

Let's go All right . Number three is he heals your wounds . The Bible says in Psalms 147 , it says he heals the brokenhearted . Listen , you cannot step into covenant still carrying your chains , baggage skeletons in the closet . It's the worst thing that you can do to get into a marriage , to get into a relationship , knowing that you got a bunch of stuff from your past that will come out . Listen , you cannot go into the future until you let go of your past . So one of the biggest things that you have to do when you're preparing for marriage , if you're dating somebody , learn how to get into that space where you find healing and forgiveness from God . He will heal your wounds so that when it's time for you to open up to your significant other and share about your past , it's not baggage anymore . It's not a bunch of luggage Like don't go into your marriage with a bunch of suitcases of bones Like . You know what I'm saying . So God can heal you . You cannot step into covenant if you do not let go of those chains . That's really big .

Speaker 2 6:41

I can't . I can't tell you how many women I've spoken with of they're saying you know , oh , if he doesn't answer my text message all of a sudden , I think he's cheating . If he doesn't answer my phone call right away , I think he's cheating . And that is trauma , that is unhealed hurt that the Lord has not . You've not given it to him all the way to be completely whole and healthy so that you can go into a marriage . And if you're walking into it like that already , red flags , red flags . So lay that at the feet of Jesus and allow him to heal you from that .

Speaker 1 7:08

That's big . So let God heal you from your past , so that your future is not ruled by it .

Speaker 2 7:14

Right .

Speaker 1 7:14

Let him . Let him heal you from your pain , so your future isn't ruled by your past and your pain . Look , man , he's creating new people in all of us , and so let him do a good work . He's already started it in you . Allow God to heal you . Number four hit him .

Learning Submission Through Service

Speaker 2 7:27

Next is he teaches you submission . In Ephesians 5 also , it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ . Listen , marriage is all about submitting to each other and to God . So I submit to my husband , he submits to me , and we together submit to God under our marriage , and it is constantly about serving each other . It's putting yourself , man . I did not want to give you that protein bar today . It was my last protein bar . It was chocolate , it was good and I had it saved for later . And he was like , can I have this last one ? And I said yes , and then I had to hear him smack on it . But it's serving him , it's what we're going to tell him . No , that's my bar . No , what's mine is yours , what's yours is ours , and I'm going to serve you and let you have the last of the goodies , but it's constantly about putting each other first .

Speaker 1 8:18

Yeah , I'm gonna say this right now If you're looking to get married before , god gives you someone to lead . He gives you someone to serve . That's good . He gives you someone to serve . So he teaches us how to submit right . The Bible says for women to submit to your husbands right , like the church has submitted to Christ . But it says husbands also love your wife like Christ loved the church . He gave up his life for her . So if you want to be filled with God's love , god's love looks like service . This is we're talking about servanthood right now . If you want to get married , it's not because someone is there to serve you . It's because you're committing and devoting your life to serving someone else .

Speaker 2 8:58

Hold on . I have to say something real quick . This is free . Y'all we serve at our church in a leadership role and I it's a proven fact how many people do we know that have met their spouse while they were serving at church ? It is crazy . It is directly linked to once you serve your church , when you serve the house of God , that will literally do something in your heart and the Lord will see it inside of you and a lot of times that is how you meet your spouse . I'm not saying it's a one plus one equals two and that's it , but it's about the heart posture that then the Lord sees it developing in you and he's like , okay , now they're ready and they can bring it in . So , like you know , get plugged into your local church . Y'all serve at your local church .

Speaker 1 9:40

Yeah , let's

Spiritual Alignment and God's Timing

Speaker 1 9:41

go All right . Number five God aligns you to spiritually right . God aligns you spiritually . Second Corinthians , chapter six , talks about I'm going to say the old version that everybody knows do not be unequally yoked . But I read , I read another version the other day and it says do not partner with the ungodly . Wow , that's heavy . Second Corinthians , chapter six , talks about that . Do not partner , do not come in covenant right . Do not marriage , marry someone that is ungodly . That's being unequally yoked . Listen , it's like being on a ladder .

Speaker 1 10:14

I saw an analogy the other day . There was this couple . They're both on one side of the ladder , one's on this side , other one's on the other side of the ladder , and they're both climbing up to the ladder . They're apart , but as they go higher on the ladder , at the top , they meet where they're right there . You know what they were doing . They were both going up the top seeking God , and you meet at the top . So it's important that God will align you spiritually with the other person . So if the other person is not pursuing God , they're not going to pursue you . Make sure that they are chasing God and while chasing God they will find you , they will prepare themselves . So that's the five , that's the fifth thing that God will align you spiritually . Second Corinthians , chapter six .

Speaker 2 10:54

And I love that . If you do not rush what he is preparing , his timing is perfect . We have our own clocks , we have our own time , we have what the world says , where we should be when we get married , when we have kids . We have our own timelines that the world tells us . But God's timing is perfect . He's not going to do it before both people are ready for that commitment and that covenant .

Speaker 1 11:17

Yeah . So here's the truth . God is not withholding a spouse from you . He's preparing you to be a spouse . Right , it's two becoming one . That's the Bible . So both are becoming spouses . So it's not about man .

Speaker 1 11:30

God hasn't sent me someone yet . Really think of it like this is . I'm not prepared yet . He's preparing me , so allow him to finish the work in you . Lean into it , enjoy the process . Let God stretch you , let him grow you . He is preparing you to be a wife . He's preparing you to be a husband . Don't try to work on the other person . I am tired of seeing couples struggling because one of the couples trying to fix the other person oof , no , fix yourself . Jesus talks about that . Before you check the other person , check yourself . So I'm telling you this right now if you're dating , if you are married and you're struggling , if you're pursuing to have a healthy , whole marriage that pleases god , I'm telling you right now work on yourself . Yes , let god work on you . Pray for the other person and let God work on them , and while you're both pursuing God , you will meet at the top and you will be equally yoked . That's all we got for today , man .

Speaker 2 12:21

That's it . So if you loved this conversation , if you got any nuggets out of it , we want to see it in the comments . We're always checking comments . We love our let's Dig crew and we love growing with you . So hit that comment , hit that like , share you can even give us a little heart and give us some love and let us know , encourage us , that we are bringing value to your life , because that's why we're here . We are here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God , others and yourself . We love y'all . Keep digging .

Speaker 1 12:49

Peace .