You Winning Life

Ep. 62- Jose Flores Wont Stop Till He Wins

September 24, 2020 Jason Wasser, LMFT Season 1 Episode 62
You Winning Life
Ep. 62- Jose Flores Wont Stop Till He Wins
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You Winning Life
Ep. 62- Jose Flores Wont Stop Till He Wins
Sep 24, 2020 Season 1 Episode 62
Jason Wasser, LMFT

Are you ready for pure positivity? I am honored to be Jose's friend and to have him as a guest on this weeks episode. 

Jose Flores is CEO and Founder of Indispensable Now. He's a Global Motivator, Mindset Disruptor, and #1 Best-selling Author. He educates, inspires, and engages individuals and businesses to strengthen their mental toughness and to develop into indispensable leaders by connecting with them, touching their hearts, and giving them a fresh perspective. 

 

Jose gets individuals and organizations to think outside the box to start taking massive action and seeing immediate results. The present is a gift and the time is now for Jose to make an impact in your life and business! Jose authored "Don't Let Your Struggle become Your Standard" and he lives it. He wants you to stand tall and be the very best version you can be. Jose’s passion is to inspire and motivate everyone he meets to learn more, do more, and become more. His positive and “can do” attitude have impacted the lives of many across the globe.

Youtube: https://youtu.be/sSymgwwdYX8

Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
Online Tele-Therapy & Coaching 🖥
The Family Room Wellness Associates
Certified Neuro Emotional Technique Practitioner 
🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
🎤Available for speaking engagements

linktr.ee/jasonwasserlmft




Muse Meditation- Relaxation Made Easy
Brain Sensing Headbands That Improve Your Meditation

Business Finishing School
Empowering successful companies & families to maximize results.

Wasser's Furniture
Highlighting what's great about buying your furniture from a brick and mortar family business!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Show Notes Transcript

Are you ready for pure positivity? I am honored to be Jose's friend and to have him as a guest on this weeks episode. 

Jose Flores is CEO and Founder of Indispensable Now. He's a Global Motivator, Mindset Disruptor, and #1 Best-selling Author. He educates, inspires, and engages individuals and businesses to strengthen their mental toughness and to develop into indispensable leaders by connecting with them, touching their hearts, and giving them a fresh perspective. 

 

Jose gets individuals and organizations to think outside the box to start taking massive action and seeing immediate results. The present is a gift and the time is now for Jose to make an impact in your life and business! Jose authored "Don't Let Your Struggle become Your Standard" and he lives it. He wants you to stand tall and be the very best version you can be. Jose’s passion is to inspire and motivate everyone he meets to learn more, do more, and become more. His positive and “can do” attitude have impacted the lives of many across the globe.

Youtube: https://youtu.be/sSymgwwdYX8

Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
Online Tele-Therapy & Coaching 🖥
The Family Room Wellness Associates
Certified Neuro Emotional Technique Practitioner 
🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
🎤Available for speaking engagements

linktr.ee/jasonwasserlmft




Muse Meditation- Relaxation Made Easy
Brain Sensing Headbands That Improve Your Meditation

Business Finishing School
Empowering successful companies & families to maximize results.

Wasser's Furniture
Highlighting what's great about buying your furniture from a brick and mortar family business!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Speaker 1:

I need to request permission, please request record permission from the host. How do I do that? I think there's a thing you have to hit to allow me to record.

Speaker 2:

That's fine. I'll be recording on my end. So what I'll do is I'll just read, transfer it to you

Speaker 1:

Afterwards. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. Yeah. Like Dropbox or whatever. Cool. Alright . I'll have Google drive. Google drive. Google drive it . Yeah . That's right . Cool . It's already recording on mine. Beautiful. All right . Awesome. Nice everybody. Welcome back today. We welcome an amazing person who along with his wife, Julia has become really good friend of mine here in South Florida. Over the past two years, Jose Flores is a CEO and founder of indispensable. Now he's a certified Les Brown speaker trainer and coach consultant and author of the book. Don't let your struggle become your standard. He educates, inspires and engages individuals and businesses to strengthen their mental toughness and to develop into indispensable leaders, by connecting with them, touching their hearts and giving them a fresh perspective. Jose, thanks so much for hanging out tonight.

Speaker 2:

Hey Matt , thanks for having me. I've been looking forward to this for a while now, man.

Speaker 1:

Right? If it's the good things that we have to keep pushing and pushing, and life happens and gets in the way, but we both got sick and thankfully we're both doing relatively okay. Relatively better. So yeah . Yeah. So, yeah. So for people who haven't heard of you, I know that like you're making quite a buzz here in South Florida and you're traveling a little bit more, but for those listeners who are outside of South, Florida, it start off with who you are and where you come from.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So, so, you know, I was born in , uh, in Bronx, New York. So I'm a city boy, New York all the way home of the brave Yankees and giants, you know what I'm saying? But , um, yeah, you know, I had a great childhood. I grew up in the city, you know , uh, had a phenomenal family, phenomenal childhood, phenomenal upbringing, went to private school for, you know, eight years. And then when I went to high school, I went to public school. We actually moved out of the city a little bit, upstate New York. Um, cause obviously, you know, my parents didn't want me going to high school in the Bronx because you know, you can become a product of your environment. Right. So, but , um, yeah, I had a great childhood, but you know, I was born with a neuromuscular condition called spinal muscular atrophy. Um , it is in the muscular dystrophy family, just like ALS ice bucket challenge and several others. Like I think there's like 42 or 43 different types of muscular dystrophies. Mine is called spinal muscular atrophy. And what that basically does is the older I get the weaker, my muscles get. So it there's a deficiency in one of the motor neurons. And you know , I don't, I don't usually like to get too scientific because most people aren't into that type of stuff, but does a deficiency in one of my survival motor neurons, they call the SM and one and because there's a deficiency, that's what causes my body to get weak as I get older. But like I said, when I was younger, I was able to walk and run, ride bikes , climb trees, do all the stuff that, you know, healthy, healthy young boys. But then when I got into high school would ask when, you know, my body really started to, you know, this condition really started to kick in and my body started to give up on me and it was difficult. Cause you know, high school, that's like, you know, that's like a big thing you're in high school. Now you're trying to figure yourself out, you know, identify with who you are, who you want to become, who you want to be around. And at the same time I got this thing attacking my body and I'm like, what the heck is going on? And so high school was fun, but it was also difficult towards the latter part of my high school years, you know, junior , senior year after them , it really started to kick in heavy. And I started to become difficult for me to, you know, just get dressed and go up and down the stairs and sit and stand. I can still do it, but it just became more difficult. And instead of finding thing about this condition is that it doesn't just kick in from one day to the next. It's like a very slow progressive condition. So I don't keep track. I couldn't even keep track of when I stopped being able to lift my arms above my head or bend over or get up or just do certain things on my own. I just know that every couple of years there was a new level of decrease in mobility. And as with that new level of decrease of mobility, I was my whole life man. I've always had to learn how to adapt and adjust. Not only physically, but mentally with the new level of, of decreased mobility that I had to, that I had to deal with them persevere through. Right. And sort of doctor said that by the age of 15, I would end up in a wheelchair that didn't happen until I was 22 years old. So again, you can imagine another pivotal moment in everyone's lives is by 21, 22. You're like an official adult. Now you're going to go see what life has for you. And here I am and I lose my ability to walk from one day to the max. So that was horrible in itself. And then they weren't even expecting me to live past my teenage years. But the good news out of all of that is that I'm still here. I'm still kicking lights , but this actually , um, I don't know when this is going to be dropping by February of this year, 2020, I'm going to be turning , uh, on the 25th , uh, 43 years old. So happy bro . Thank you, man. I still kicking life's about brother.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So go back to this high school rate . So you're in high school and that's the time where like identities really being formed and peer pressure is probably at its biggest and developmentally, right. You're trying to figure out where you want to go, where you want to be. And you're dealing with this medical issue. What was that like for you? Cause you said like I had to constantly changed my mindset. What was that like for you as a teenage guy, right. Where, you know, when we think at that age bracket, we're at the height of our abilities and capabilities and our swagger and , and , and right . All that stuff. Life is all ahead of us as they say, what were those like dark moments like, and, and like, cause I know that part of who you are part of your brand is a mindset disruptor . So what was that like for you at that time before you really got into this self development, personal growth

Speaker 2:

Mentorship mindset in your life. Yeah. You need , you know, at the time I was going through that brother, it was horrible, man. It was horrible. But I , I definitely believe that going through that is what is what, and is what made me, who I am today is what made me, who I am today. But in high school, man, like you said, you know, you're trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do with your life when you graduate. And you know, most people are thinking about college and careers. And to be honest with you, man, I was just thinking about staying alive. The doctor said they weren't even expecting me to live past my teenage years . So my head I'm in survival mode and I'm like, man, I just got to beat . I just got to survive to live. I wasn't thinking about college. I wasn't thinking about a career because to me, none of that was going to be attainable for me. So I didn't put too much thought on it. I was just trying to say like does live one day to the next, you know? But um, you know, like I said, it was very, very difficult because there were times man, I was so afraid to even leave my house because this condition, as it started to progress, I would, my leg would just give out and I would fall on the floor at random moments, brother at random moments at random times unexpectedly. And because it was weakening my body, you know, I couldn't break the fall. Like, you know how, like when you trip, you can kind of catch yourself and roll. But for me, if I trip I'm going down, bro, like a sack of potatoes and I can't even begin to tell you, man, how many bones I broke in and scars I have on my head and on my body from the falls, from banging into stuff and hitting my head on the corner of a shelf and busting my head open. But uh, you know, I would just drop like a sack of potatoes and I would, I was scared to go outside man, because I would hate to be. And it's happened to me. I'd hate to go to the mall, to the movies, to the pool, to the beach and my lady about my fault . Cause you know, when you're a teenager, man, that's , you know, people can be really cool like that age, you know, and they're laughing. They don't know that I'm dealing with a situation, but they're just laughing cause somebody fell in it because it's funny. And so that type of environment and those types of scenarios and situations with I would drag them, bro, I would like, and when I would go out, I would be praying the whole time. My God, please don't let my leg give out. Please don't let my lady about, you know, and um, and that's how I lived my teenage, you know, my teenage years, like I said, I did have fun, but I lived a lot in fear, bro. I lived a lot of years in fear because of, of, of what could happen to me if I would go out in public and how people's reactions would be towards me. And so I kind of like, I felt like I missed out on a lot of things that I could have done because of this condition and you know, worrying about what people think thought about me or worrying about what people would say about me. And so sometimes I would even lie and then I call, I don't feel well or my legs hurt and I would just stay home. I'd make up excuses, not to be out and about, you know? And um, you know, that's one thing I, I would I regret doing, but again, you're a teenager. You don't really know what's going on. You're trying to deal with this condition. You don't even know what the heck, you know, why you have the condition. How did you get it? And, and , and as a teenager, I wasn't really researching too much of it. I just knew I had this condition and I knew it was going to take its course, but I really didn't. I was like a little in denial too. I didn't want to pay too much attention to it or give it too much energy because again, I was in survival mode and I'm just trying to get from one day to the next one day to the next and , and , and you know, and live and stay alive. How many times do you find like , cause now that we're going to flesh , yeah. Fast forward a little bit and we're going to come back, but how much do you find that people out there? And I see this all the time in my practice as a therapist is that they're doing that same mindset. They're just going through day to day to survive. There's no strategic planning, there's no longterm perspective. And I know that when our fight or flight, our reptilian brain kicks in, right. That , that, that base survival instinct kicks in. It's very hard to think rationally. It's very hard to think purposefully . How did you start to get control over that aspect of your thought process? Well, you know, when I was going through those years, I always felt like I would never be able to do anything great in life. I thought that I would never be able to do anything of significance. You know, I thought I was just going to be average or below average, Joe Schmoe , you know, from around the block. And it really kicked in for me, man. You know, I was on disability for a little while. Actually I was on survival benefits because my dad was a Marine who passed away. So I got survivor benefits from that. But then when I turned 18, it turned into disability because I was disabled. And so man, I just got to the point where I was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired and just living off of a measly 800 and some change. It was a month I'm like, man, I can't do anything with this. Like that really was an eye opener for me because I was really thinking about other people who are disabled or who are social security and they're getting like that fixed income, like out of , I don't know how those people survive like that brother. Like you talk about survival mode. I don't know how those types of people who were getting those types of checks can survive off of that type of government assistance. So for me, I was like, man, I can't like live a good life living like this. I couldn't see myself living the rest of my life on disability. So I went out and tried to get a job. And obviously I just thought that I would be good at a desk job, like some type of customer service or something and just have a key, you know, a keyboard, a phone, a headset and, and a mouse and I'd be, I'd be okay . So I started working in corporate America for a company, the timeshare company, who I was actually with them for like , and yes , and I moved up Saudi like in the trenches and I worked my way up all the way up to manage a position, which I always felt pretty accomplished because of that. And you know, being in a wheelchair and being able to like get the positions that normal people, you know, would normally get, you know, and I , and I would get those positions. So I have like, I don't have a college degree cause again, college wasn't even on my mind, but I a ton of experience and I have a lot of common sense. Right. Which I'm thankful for because common sense. Isn't so common nowadays, right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah , exactly. And that actually makes the biggest difference in the world. You're gonna have the best college degree in the world, Harvard, whatever it is, but common sense. The , I see people come in all the time and they may be well educated in the traditional sense, but their ability to just interact with people is so lacking or knowing how to connect or knowing how to bring value to others. And I think that's one of the things that since I've met you, I know that you're so good at, like you said, customer service is really at the end of the day, what you're doing right . When you're speaking and you're engaging with people and all those different things, but it doesn't matter what someone's background is. You're going to write , we're going to connect based on whatever that pure level of being curious and wanting to have interest in that person's life. So at that point, who came first, your wife or Les Brown? My wife. Okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Actually I met my wife at the timeshare company that I was just telling you about. She worked there as well and she worked there before me actually. So when I worked there, she was already there and uh , you know, we met, excuse me, we met. And , uh, we had a group of friends that we used to hang out with and we would , uh, at our job, they have this thing called VT O which is voluntary time off. So like when the timeshare business that's like high season or low season. So during the low season where it wasn't so busy, they would let you , you know , leave work early , um, depending on the call volume and things like that. And you can voluntarily leave. You don't have to use vacation time or anything like that. You would just take it on pain. So sometimes we would use our vacation time and sometimes we went and it just depends on where everywhere. Right? So we had a group of friends about, I would say about maybe seven or eight of us that we would do the VTO . And we would go to the beach downtown Fort Lauderdale, or we'd go to movie Cole and watch some movies or we'd go to somebody's house and just kind of hang out and play games. And , um, there was a really cool group. We're actually still friends with a lot of them today. And that's how we met, you know, we were just really good friends at first. And , uh, one thing that really attracted me to her was that the first time she offered to lift me up, cause at that time I used to use a little scooter, not a wheelchair. And that was the, and so when we would travel, like my friends would have to lift me up like a bear hug, put me in their car and then kind of put my, take my scooter apart and put it in their trunk . Then wherever we would go, they would reassemble the scooter, lift me out and put me back into the school . So I remember the first time she offered to pick me up out of the school and put me in the car and I was like, wow, this girl is amazing. And uh, so, you know, I didn't think anything of it, but I started feeling like, you know, something could be there. I don't, I wasn't really sure, but you know, so she lifted me up, no problem. Like just pick me up. I'm 150 pounds. That way she just lifted up, threw me in the van. I'm like, Whoa, this is pretty strong. And uh, and then when we got to the movie theaters, she offered to put me, you know, pick me up again and put me from my school to, into the that's when the recliners first came out, you know, for those of you who remember the reclining chairs first came out of that movie called . So she was like, Hey man, if you want to hang out and relax with us, you know, I can pick you up and put you in. I was like, nah , she was like, yeah . Yeah. So she went ahead and put me in the chair, we sat together and we were watching a scary movie. And uh , I remember one time she grabbed my leg and I was like, huh , okay. Okay. So, you know , that's where, that was the beginning of our, you know, of our relationship. And that was almost 20 years ago, you know? And uh , actually this year in July, we got married on seven, seven , seven, and this year, July 7th, we'll be sending

Speaker 1:

Waiting 13 years of marriage. Amazing, amazing. So this is journey, right? That, that is, that has happened. So as you guys got to know each other more, and then you guys decided to be in a relationship, what were some of the conversations that you had to have about what life might bring for you? Like you said, right there, the doctors were already saying at 15 years old, right there could have been, it could have gone either way. And here you were starting this really beautiful relationship with an incredibly beautiful person who is awesome and also hysterical as I've gotten to know her. Um, what were some of those like heavy conversations that you guys had to have due to the circumstances of, of what was going on in your life?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, in the very beginning, we actually didn't have a lot of conversations about my condition because to her, she didn't see me with , with , with the problem or with the condition. She just saw me for where I was, which was one of the things that really gravitate with , which would , which made me gravitate towards her and which I really admire and appreciate about her because you know, this type of life, man, you know, being in a, in an intimate relationship like this, you don't find that a lot. You know, it's not common. And so to find somebody who sees past, you know, the issue, right. And they see the person's heart. That's a huge thing for me, man. And again, that was one of my dreams. I was, I was wondering is , is a woman ever going to love really like this? You know? And a man I'm just so grateful that she just saw past the wheelchair. She saw me for the person that I was funny, personable, social, you know, good-looking as well, thank God. I'm good looking, you know ,

Speaker 1:

Can't forget that.

Speaker 2:

And um, but you know, when we did start to have those conversations, when things started to get more serious and we were really starting to spend more time with each other, you know, I would, I would constantly ask my wife, man, you know, Are you still going to be with me when things get worse? Right. Cause the condition, it makes my body get weaker as I get older. So I was always asking her that question and she would get to the point where she would be like, stop passing me that already. I already told you, I love you for who you are, no matter what happens, I'm going to be with you. I'm going to be by your side. And you know, for me again, that's like a scary position to be in because you know, it's one thing to talk to talk, but it's another thing to walk the walk. Right. And so in the beginning I was very like very about the whole relationship. Cause I'm like, man, you know, once the next level kicks in, she can just be like, Hey, you know, I didn't sign up for this, you know, and get the heck out of Dodge. But you know, here we are man, 20 years later, you know, and we're happily married, man. We're not just surviving. We're thriving. We're actually writing a book together. Now that's going to launch this year and it's going to be amazing brother . And we spoke about that briefly, you know, when we were hanging out for Christmas. And um, so we're writing that book now together because we feel like we have experienced and we've overcome a lot of the odds, right? Like people saying like actually, you know, it's funny, my wife and I joke around all the time that there were people that came to our wedding that were married, that now are not married anymore. You know, like about five different couples that were at our wedding were married and then no longer married. And here we are, you know, dealing with the same things that every other marriage deals with. But on top of that, you throw the wheelchair into the mix and that's like a whole another ball game now. And we're still here thriving, happy and moving forward.

Speaker 1:

So what do you think that key differences ? Right. Cause I would say a good 50% of my practice is couples. What do you think the key difference is that allowed you guys to not only succeed but thrive and not only thrive, but be playful and joyful and , and crack up and, and have so many great jokes. Right. And I know every time I've seen you guys together or, or seen the videos or whatever, like I just know to ought to be able to honor like what you guys have is so special. What do you think it is that made it so different for you guys versus those other couples or the couples out there that are just getting waved over by, you know, my wife by life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, we're actually writing about that now. And one of the things that, that we feel has helped us in our relationship is that we were really truly good friends before we even got into any type of relationship. We were very, very good friends. And I think that that's foundational to any relationship at any marriage actually is , is, you know, it's , it's good to be friends first because you know, you can, like, I still have friends from when I was in kindergarten actually, you know? And , and I have friends that I went to high school with still and th they're like lifelong friends. Right. Because when you build a friendship and you have that, that sense of honesty and loyalty and , um, and respect for one another, that's like one of the pillars of a relationship, any relationship. Right. And so we were friends at first and then, you know, we spoke a lot about this type of stuff in the beginning of our relationship when we were just dating, we talked about, you know, being friends first and communicating through the good, the bad and the ugly. Right. Because I had to be real with myself and know that there's a certain, there's certain things that we're going to have to go through that normal, able body people don't go through. Right. And so , uh , we had to, we had to have those types of conversations and are you going to be willing to deal with that? Are you going to be running to endure and persevere through that? You know? And so those are some of the questions I would ask her for me. I had no choice. Like I have to live with this, so I have no other choice, but to, to deal with it personally , I , and do it through it. Right. But she has a choice to make. Right. She leaves it going to be in it with me all the way in all, you know, all , all the way in and , and, and, and we're going to ride out together. Or, you know, when , when that , when the, you know, when the, when the kitchen gets hot, she gets out the kitchen. Right. But like I said, man, the test of time will tell what somebody, you know , is and who somebody is. And, you know, I'm pretty sure that there's people that we were just friends made or just acquaintances, you know, actually, you know, it's funny, we saw somebody that we used to work with together. At that time she had company 20 years ago, we saw them recently at the mall and they were like, wow, you guys are still together. Like I was like, well, what do you mean you expecting us to get there? You know, but that's kind of like the mentality that a lot of people have, you know? And so it's for people to see us and see us happy and playful and joyful and content. And, and with, even with our situation, that in itself is an inspiration for single people, you know , married people in newlyweds, people who've been married for a long time. That may be going through , uh , a dry season, you know, are struggling. You know, it's an inspiration to seeing a young couple such as ourselves, be happy, be content, be joyful and still have to live a very, very different and unique lifestyle.

Speaker 1:

Well, as you were talking, I was thinking about all the people out there in the young professional circles who are struggling to find someone and how much pressure there is in certain communities, certain spiritual groups that you're really not considered a complete person until you found your match. Right. And I know that in different races , sometimes in some church communities, I know that certain Jewish communities is like that. Right. But the idea of building your own identity, forming your identity is so important. And then finding someone who's a match to that as the expression goes, there's a lid for every pot, but you got to know what type of, you know, container you want to be to who you want into your life. So when you started talking about her values, when you started talking about how she treated you, when she started, when you started talking about how she looked at you as a whole person, not because of a , of a disability, that's what I want people out of 30 here is on the deeper level. When people, especially today with so much of this like throwaway culture, right in the swipe left swipe, right culture, what are the deeper things that we need to look for? And I always talk about this and , um , in a lot of my podcasts, but in a lot of my teaching is the core values aspect that if the person doesn't align with your core values and it should be a no, it's how you're going to create things down the road, you're going to avoid so many arguments, gonna avoid somebody fights. You're gonna fight so many disagreements. Now there's still going to be stuff that comes up in any relationship as it should. And arguing disagreeing is not a bad thing. It's how you resolve that. But at the end of the day, you've gotta find that perfect balance and match for that. Right .

Speaker 2:

That's right. Absolutely. I, 100% agree with that. And you know, those, those signs and those red flags, they're there from the beginning. Sometimes we ignore them. Sometimes we just don't want to recognize them, but they're there. So you definitely have to find somebody who you connect with on a higher level, you know, with the core values,

Speaker 1:

Morals with principles , you know? Yeah .

Speaker 2:

And , uh, and , and , you know, cause I think a lot of times, sometimes people just find like a sexual attraction and they think that that's going to last, but man, sometimes in life, you know, especially when you get older, the sex goes, you know, the , the intimacy goes, but if you have that foundation of friendship and communication then, and I mean, we speak to people all the time. Now we meet, we meet couples that are like, actually this , this week we were , um, with a , with a, with a couple that were married for 54 years, five, four. And I was like, wow, 54 years when I meet people like that, that imagine like 35 plus years, I'm always like, I always ask them . I'm like, well, what's the glue that sticks that stuck you together for so long. And you know, we get so many different answers, you know, but the common theme behind that question is always, we love each other and we communicate about everything. That's the two most common themes that we hear, you know , and we compromise. Right . And so , um, we just love meeting people like that because it helps us out, you know , in our relationship. But it also helps us like, like for like when we're writing our book, now we have

Speaker 1:

So much information that we're going to be putting out there. Um , we're super excited about that, by the way, we're making a curriculum, that's going to be a journal and a calendar that goes along with it because we have this really cool , um , concept that we incorporated in our marriage.

Speaker 2:

I can't, you know , put the , you know, let the cat out the bag just yet, but just stay tuned for that. It's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1:

Incredible. And speaking of incredible communication, let's go to the whole Les Brown story because one , probably a lot of people have never heard the name, Les Brown. Uh, and, but, but I would love to hear for you to share one how you got connected and to how you built this lifelong personal relationship with them and what that's done for you and how that brought you to becoming a speaker.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. So man meeting less , that changed my life man changed my life completely. So like I said, I was in corporate America for almost 20 years. And again, I got to sick and tired of just, you know, reaching my legs , so to speak right. Where like we were talking about. So I felt like I kept reaching my land because

Speaker 1:

I didn't have a college degree. I couldn't get to the certain promotions or positions

Speaker 2:

Because of that. And I think that was hindering me a little bit, even though I had it ,

Speaker 1:

I've kind of experienced , but I was like, hi , cool. It's whatever .

Speaker 2:

So I was like, well, what else can I do? You know , I've been doing this desk thing and you know, I did sales, service retention or different types of positions and departments within the organizations. And , uh, again, I just kinda got sick and tired of being at that place. And I said, well, you know, I can't use my arms. I can't use my legs. I can't do this. I can't do that. And it was a mindset shifting that said, okay, well you can't do all those things. All right. We already know that, well , what can you do Jose ? And I said, what, what , what, what do you have that you can use? And I said, well , I still have my voice. You know, and I have my mind, I was sound mind , I have a voice. And I said, well, you know, I've always been a motivator. I've always been an encourager . I've always inspired people. Um, and so I said, you know what, let me look into this. So I Google or YouTube, motivational speaking and speakers. And a bunch of them came up. But the one that resonated with me the most was Les Brown. So he was my mentor before I even actually met him in person. And I followed everything. He did watch his videos, followed his social media, his website, everything. So I finally, I found out that he was coming down here to Fort Lauderdale and it was , um, it was an event. He was going to be speaking out. He was on tour. So I was like, man, we gotta go. I told my wife, we gotta go. We gotta go see this guy. So we went, you know, it's a funny story. And it's in my current book, that's out right now. It's called donuts or struggle become the standard. I really talk about it in detail because it's a really a powerful story on how that whole thing happened. But you know , to make a long story short, you know, I met , I saw him the first time speak. I couldn't catch up with him then. So I'm a second time and actually spoke on the same stage with him that second time. Um , and that was the , and that was actually the largest group of people that I've , I've 3,500 people that I spoke in front of. And I shared the stage with him and I saw him, but I didn't get to, by the time I got backstage to meet him, he already left the building. So , uh, you know, then the third time, you know, three times, three times the trunk, third, time's a charm. So I finally caught up with him in Miami. So first we started out in Broward. Then we went to West Palm beach. Then we went to Miami. So I went through three different counties chasing this guy, trying to meet them and catch up to him. So it was finally in Miami, he was speaking at the, in the dolphin stadium. Um , and that's where I met him. And I finally saw him. We locked eyes. He saw me. And , uh, we, it was almost like a , we couldn't stop looking at each other. And so as he got closer to me, there was people around him wanting to take pictures and shake his hand and everything. And as we got closer, we kind of did one of these to each other, right. And a little head nod. And so he came up to me and I was like, Hey, man, I just want to shoot , can I shake your hand? Can I take a picture with you? He was like, yeah, man. Absolutely. So we took pictures, I shook his hand, we had a couple of few moments to talk and I said, Hey man, you don't know, but I , I just spoke where you just spoke at previously. And I tried to catch up with you, but he laughed . And he was like, Oh, you're a speaker. I was like, yeah, man, I'd love to give you my speaker kit . Um , if I can. And he was like, yeah, absolutely. So I gave him my speaker kit and he was like, is there , um, is your information in there for me to get in contact with you? I was like, yeah, man, absolutely everything you need. Is there, you know , please reach out to me if you , uh, if you see that there's something that we can, you know , connect on. So that was on a Wednesday, December of 2015, I think it was December the 17th or 18th. That was a Wednesday that followed me Thursday. I go back to work business as usual and I get a phone call and I'm thinking, it's somebody that I had networked with. I gave him my business card too, and they're calling me to follow up or whatever. And as soon as I pick up the phone, I hit a voicemail, you know, less has that distinctive voice. And I heard his voice and he asked , he's like, Hey, can I speak to those in, I already knew who it was, but I was like, yeah, this is him. Who's this. And he was like, this, this is Les Brown Jose. How are you? And I was like, I'm doing great. Can you hold on one second? I put them on mute . I was like, yo, it's Les Brown. And so I was like, Hey, what's up? How you doing? Thanks for holding. And he was like, damn man. I , he was like , uh , you know, I saw you information. He was like, you know, and I , and I felt compelled to call you. Cause I , I really think that that's something that we can do together. And , uh, he asked me if I was a pilot and I was like, pilot, I kind of stuck . I was a little interesting, but the reason he asked me if I was a pilot was because on my speaker white sheet, I actually did my photo shoot in a, in a, in a hangar at a private airport. And I was like, right in front of the airplane, like one of those private jet planes, I was right in front of that looked like I just came off of it. And so he asked me if I was a pilot and I was like, no, I'm not. But you know, that's funny how, you know, perception is somewhat reality, what people get , you know, when they see stuff. And so, you know, that was in December, 2015 minutes. So here we are 2020 man. And , uh , I went on tour with him two years ago. Uh, he did the foreword to my book that I just, my current book that's out now. And , uh , we just have a special relationship, man. We have a special relationship. You know, I've been with him at the hospital, praying for him when he's fighting cancer and I've been to his house and it's just been amazing, man. And just being able to use his name as credibility, you know, borrower credibility when I'm out, you know, selling myself and pitching people. Um, it , it makes a difference, man. And that's been able to open up a lot of Dulles for me. It's been able to put me into, you know , circles and influencers that I normally probably wouldn't have been able to get into so quickly. And just man, just being around greatness, man, and you know, opening my eyes to a whole another , uh, lifestyle. Cause that was the first time I've ever been around multi-millionaires and , and now even billionaires recently. And so it's just a whole nother ball ball game, man, when you get to that next level and you know, you don't, you don't know what you don't know. Right. And then you don't even know that you don't know it until somebody reveals it to you or you get around that type of space. So it's just been an amazing journey, man , just meeting him yesterday was his birthday actually on the 17th of February. So we were like a week apart in birthdays. And uh , so that's like one of our little connections also that we share the same birthday month. And he's just a special dude, man. Like he has this, she's such a generous giving individual. And uh , if you're listening last , I love you man. Happy birthday. I already texted yesterday. But um, yeah, just a phenomenal individual, bro. He's like a global influencer global impact or you know , world shaker, man.

Speaker 1:

Incredible. So what tips would you have? So this story of like chasing him down three times, right? You're on the stage behind him . You miss them when he, right. What are some of the tips that you would want to share with somebody who's looking for someone who's looking for a mentor? Cause it's there, there are people out there who are waiting to be asked and it's not like it has to be this huge difficult journey or it has to be completely impossible. Or do you think that you might not have access? We're not gonna have access to necessarily like, you know, the Jeff Bezos or you know, that people at that level, but there's so many other people out there who are successful, who are leaders in their, you know, maybe in your field or in a different field, but what are some of the tips that you would give to someone to help them find their own mentor?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, and a lot of times, even nowadays you don't even have to have a physical mentor, like somebody that you can physically pick up the phone and call and like, fortunately enough, for me, I'm able to do that with less, which is, which is a blessing. And I know people who probably killed to be able to have that opportunity and that access. But you know, like I said, before I even met him, he was my mentor. I was following everything. He did watch his videos, study his stage presence, his humor, his, both his voice tonality. And I just really did my homework man. So you can find people now on YouTube and social media, but even like with social media, there's a lot of these influencers that are very accessible and are reachable , uh , and do and do , um , and will , it's attain you, you know, our social media just slide into their DMS, right? Send them a message and you know, how can I, you know, you know, I want to do this, but I also want to add value. How can we make that happen? You know? And don't be afraid. I think a lot of times we're afraid to just ask and I'm a firm believer in asking them because I, you know, you have not because you ask not ask more and you'll get more. I promise you because that's how I've been able to, excuse me, get to where I am today. It has a lot to do with me just asking, like I remember when I had to ask them to do the foreword of my book, my wife was like, don't know, don't ask them. You already asked them for enough. You know? And I was like, no, I'm going to ask them because if you know, you never know. Right. What if he says yes. And I'm so grateful that I did ask him because he wound up saying yes and did the forward to my book. So, you know, that's my legacy. I'm leaving behind, you know?

Speaker 1:

Well that last bit you just said about asking and taking the risk because I always ask this to my clients. If they like want to challenge themselves to do something new, I'm like, well, what's the worst that could happen. 99% of the times they'll say, well, the worst that can happen is that someone will say no. Yep .

Speaker 2:

I don't like, no, no, that's completely the opposite.

Speaker 1:

Cause it it's completely wrong. And that's how we've been raised. Right? The worst that someone can say is no , but I think if you are expecting the know , the worst that someone can say is yes, cause then you've got to scale your game up to be able to be the, to be able to receive or to do that, which you're hoping will come from that experience. And I think that's where the bigger fear factor is. It's not that they're going to say no, it's what's gonna happen. If someone says yes to you. That's right. Right. And what I want people to hear, especially from the conversation we've had today is how do you continuously say yes to yourself? Yes. I can do this. Yes. I'm worth more. Yes. I'm capable of doing this. Yes. It doesn't matter what my education is. Yes. It doesn't matter whether I am right . Having this challenge or that challenge, whether I'm right. Whatever it may be is the yes. To yourself and get away from the fear of your own now .

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, me even like with my kids, man, and I think that this transcends through any age bracket is like, try to say yes to everything you can and leave the nose to the serious stuff, right. Say yes to everything you can. I need the nose to the serious stuff. Because I think that, you know, like you said, we're programmed, we trained from not like when you're a kid, everything is, can I have this? No. Can I do this? No . Can I go here? No . Can I call it ? No, no, no, no, no, no. Everything is no, no, no, no. But you know , I , I really learned that even through parenting that the more yeses you say, the more you empower people to believe that yes it's possible. Right. And so I'm even always telling my kids. Cause you know, there's been times where I told my kids, knowing that I, and I'm like, well, why didn't you ask me? And they're like, Oh, because I thought you were going to say no. And I was like, but you never know what I would say if you don't ask them . So even if you think I'm going to say no, ask me anyhow, because if I say yes and that changes the game and you would never know that unless you ask me so that I kind of instilled that into them as well, like ask for everything.

Speaker 1:

I just had this conversation with a client of mine who works for , um, an internet and international business. Um, and they're working locally and in one of the, in one of the stores locally here, and I were trying to figure out like what their next steps were in their career. And like, you know , I said like within the next three to five years, like what's your personal goal and hope for where you would be progression wise within, within the status of the company. And they said, well, you know, three to five years, I'm hoping I can become like either a store, regional manner , a manager. And I'm like, okay , great. Who have you talked to in the leadership team about this? And the person said nobody. Okay. So, so what happens if three to five years down the road go by and no one promotes you? And they just like, kind of was like, there was no response. It was kind of like this blank stare back. And I'm like, yeah, you have to ask, you have to put, this is what I'm looking for. This is what skills do I need? What trainings do I need? What workshops do I need to take? Who do I need to mentor? Who do I need to hang out with? But the assumption that things will just happen without asking for most people don't get that concept. And then once they realized that they should have that conversation, I said, well, what happens if they say there is no possibility within three to five years that this is going to happen for you? Would you stay with that company? And the person immediately said, no, I completely would quit my job in the next two weeks. I'm like, well, we just saved you five years of headache. If, and then find down the road down the road, five years of disappointment, just by asking you a question now, is this a possibility? And if so, what do I need to do to get there, to increase that possibility? And if I do that, then really what's the likelihood of me getting to this next stage of my , of my professional career. And we have to do this in business. We have to do this in our relationships all the time with my couples. It's the fear of asking of the fear of being rejected and turned down because we have an assumption that we already know what they're going to say, but I see them with kids, what I'm seeing of what they think, how did the other day where a kid says, I can't express this to my parents. Cause I already know what they're gonna say to me. Right ? It's crazy. So we create our own limitations. We create our own stumbling blocks and that's why I love your phrase. Like I won't stop until I win. That's right. That's right. I won't stop once . And I went and you know, even when I'm going through my own struggles and my own hardships and you know, my , my mind tries to, you know, get the best of me. That's one of the things that helps me get through man is like, I'll start, I'll just start saying I won't stop until that way I won't stop until I win . And just speaking that out loud, it does something inside of me. It changes my chemical makeup and it changes my attitude and decides changing my perspective and my outlook. And I just start getting more positive. And it's just like, I'm back on track. You know? So it's like me being down and negative and having my moments. Yes, I'm human. I go through that, but I don't stay there prolonged because I know how to get out. And I just, I just start speaking, you know, saying stuff like I will stop. And so that when I won't give up, I won't give in. I gotta keep going. You know? And, and , and you know, the reality is that a lot of times I don't want to keep going, but telling myself to keep going that that's what helps me get through a lot of my family first . That's what helps me get up , get thrown out of my days. Well, that's, I think the difference between you earning the title, a mindset disruptor , or someone coming up with some really good brand marketing position of like academic , I call myself that, right? You, you were umyes that, especially as long as I've known you, that that is the mindset and it's not in the cliche, let's go, you know, the Lulu lemon of mindset, right? The few where if you were Lulu lemon or a Yogi, or if you were in ninth grade , if you were in Nike, you're an athlete. It's the living at the breathing at the sharing of the experience again. And you share that with people, you share that on your podcast, you share that in your book, you share that when you connect with people. So I know as we round up our time, I want people to find you want people to follow you or people that get your book. I want people to listen to your podcast beyond the episode that there was to be that they're going to be listening to this on my podcast. So where can people find you? Yeah . So people can find [email protected] . They can also find me , uh , they go to my website for detailed information and they can find me on any social media platform at Jose inspires. Also , um, you see that in the background, they have, the Jose inspired is three sixty.com as well. That's as I call my social media access for quick and easy access. Um , but yeah,

Speaker 2:

They can also check out my podcast , um, on, on any podcast platform , um , which was called the I won't stop and select wind podcasts . So you see, I'm pretty branded man. And I, and I just, I go with the flow, man. I go, what I feel in my heart, you know, I'm not a branding expert, but I just go with what I know sound, what , what sounds good and was right for me, even though I, I do, you know, I have learned a lot about branding and marketing, but I just, you know, I've always been in the nominally. I've always tried to go against the grain and against the waves because I feel like there's too many people already gone with the flow and I don't want to go with the flow. You know, I did that for so many years trying to fit in and figure out, and I know I'm different. The wheelchair makes me different. I know I'm a different individual. I have a different mindset. And so I'm going to be that person everywhere. I go to everyone I meet and , and I've been able to develop that confidence now, you know, knowing who I am and knowing my capabilities and my abilities and my gifts and my talents. And , um , I'm unstoppable, bro. Like for real, like I don't say that to be cocky or arrogant, but I say that with all humility and confidence, like I know who I am, man . And no one can change who I am because I am who I am. Right. And so, and that's a powerful thing in itself. Once you know who you are, you don't have to, you know, not like today. I don't worry about what people think about me or what they say about me because I know who I am. So whatever you have to say is irrelevant to me. I already got my beautiful wife. I got my kids, we got our houses and we're doing our thing, man. So what you have to say, unless it's positive and adding value to me, then you can go, you know, kick rocks over. But , um, but yeah, they can follow me on social media, my website. Um, actually what I want to do too, is for all your listeners out there, I do want to give everyone a free gift. That's listening to this podcast. And matter of fact, I want you to do me a favor cause Jason , such an awesome dude, go to iTunes man, specifically iTunes, go ahead and leave them a five star five stars and leave a review, leave a good comment if you love this podcast and all his other podcasts and his content. Cause you know , at the end of the day, it helps us get those rankings and helps us get to those next levels. So great. I do me that favor, but as a special, thank you for listening and tuning in. I want to give every single money you're listening as a free gift. So if they email me at Jose inspires , uh , Jose [email protected] and say that they heard me on your show, I'm going to go ahead and have my team, send them a free MP3, download on the power of showing up one of my motivational CDs that I have on my website for $10 value. You'll get it for free just by saying that, you know, Jason and you're cool with him and you listen to his stuff,

Speaker 1:

Guys, you heard that this was probably, I know when we were last year, it was a year now, like literally this a , the next week or so when we're at the 10 X in Miami, right with Mike and we were walking around and like all these people, I love that . Like all these people were coming up to you and wanting to take pictures with you and talk to you. And you're just rolling. You're just rolling through. Right. That was a fun day. And when you're saying like , it's not coming from a place of cockiness, I want people out there to really know, since I've gotten to know you, that it is coming, it's such a true place of authenticity. And I think that's where, what the attraction is, right? You're saying like, it's not, because of all these things, I'm like I was going to joke and I'm like, well, it helps that you're you're you are a good looking dude, you know? Right. It definitely helps too. But I think the level of authenticity that, that you bring in, I know Les Brown brings and the people that we look up to, the people that we're connected to in our social circle circles, right? Like Mike and , uh , well, both my ex my Mike, our financial planner guy and like Mike car , right? Although we have all these really wonderful friends that are incredibly authentic and incredibly filled with integrity and we all support each other. And I think that's, what's the key thing, taking it all the way back to the beginning of your story, with the people who you brought into your life, your wife, Les Brown, the things that you're doing for everybody, helping them feel connected to themselves. The things I'm trying to do with this podcast, with my therapy, my coaching practice is about allowing people to feel more connected to themselves and their potential. And guys, don't just give me the five stars on my, on my podcast. Please go check out Jose's podcasts. There's such good stuff on. There is social media is also really incredible. There's so many good videos, so much good insight, a lot of topical motivation that I've learned also so much from him. So again, Jose, thank you. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for hanging out with me and our listeners today .

Speaker 2:

Thank you for having me brother. Keep on rocking and rolling and baby sweet. Thank you. Ma'am take care.