How Hearing Aids Improve Relationships: Ending Effortful Listening and Hearing Clearly Again

Hearing loss does not just affect volume — it affects relationships, confidence, communication, and quality of life.

In this episode of the Hearing Matters Podcast, Blaise Delfino, M.S.-HIS and Dr. Gregory Delfino sit down with longtime hearing aid user, veteran, professor, entrepreneur, and family man Gerald Ephault to discuss what life was really like before properly fit hearing technology. Gerald shares how hearing loss impacted conversations with his wife, communication in restaurants, teaching in the classroom, business meetings, watching TV, managing tinnitus, and understanding speech in background noise. 

For anyone who is new to hearing aids, unsure if they are ready, or wondering whether hearing technology is truly worth it, this conversation offers an honest patient perspective. Gerald explains how modern hearing aids, professional care, and real ear measurement helped reduce listening effort, improve speech understanding, and restore a sense of normalcy in everyday life.

This episode is especially helpful for adults who have noticed they are asking people to repeat themselves, turning up the TV, struggling in restaurants, missing parts of conversations, or feeling mentally tired from trying to hear. If you or someone you love is on the fence about moving forward with hearing aids, Gerry’s story is a powerful reminder: better hearing is not just about hearing sounds, it is about reconnecting with people, conversations, and life.

Listen now to learn how hearing aids can help reduce effortful listening, improve communication, and support healthier relationships.

Visit our website and take our quick online hearing screener. 

And if you're ready to take the next step, our online hearing care provider locator can help you find a trusted hearing care professional near you. Taking that first step can make a meaningful difference, helping you stay connecting to the people and moments that matter most. 

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Transcript

Welcome and Sponsors

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 0:06

Welcome back to the Hearing Matters Podcast, where we explore hearing technology, communication science, and the people and ideas shaping the future of hearing health care and hearing loss around the world. Before we kick things off, a special thank you to our partners. Care Credit. Here today to help more people here tomorrow. Inventis. Inventis is innovation. Blueprint Solutions. Clinic management made easy for hearing care professionals. Now with Blueprint AI. And Fader Plugs, the world's first custom adjustable earplug. Welcome back to another episode of the Hearing Matters Podcast. I'm your founder and host, Laze Delfino. And as a friendly reminder, this podcast is separate from my work at Starkey. Now, let's get into the conversation.

Meet Gerald and His Hearing Story

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 0:59

On this episode, we have friend and mentor and patient at Audiology Services. His name is Mr. Gerald Efault. Jerry, it is a pleasure to have you on the Hearing Matters Podcast.

Gerald Ephault 1:13

Well, thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 1:15

And it's great to see you. It's been a couple of months since we've seen each other. It's wonderful to finally see you, see how you're doing. Jerry, let's get right into it. You've been a hearing aid user for a little over 10 years. What was the defining moment when you said to yourself, enough is enough. I need to do something about my hearing loss.

Gerald Ephault 1:38

I would characterize the defining moment as becoming self-aware of the multiple experiences I had of not hearing what people were saying to me or sounds from the environment. So it became an awareness. It wasn't any specific activity. It was self-awareness that I was not hearing what I should hear.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 1:58

Can you explain some of these instances? Because we know that you've been married to Darlene for over 40 years, right? What was life like when you were in a restaurant type setting with Mrs. E. Fault?

Gerald Ephault 2:11

Well, it was difficult. Everything was difficult. In fact, Darlene and I had an agreement that I'd have to look at

Restaurants and The Strain Of Listening

Gerald Ephault 2:18

her directly in the face, not turn sideways. And then I was accountable for what she was telling to me. Because most men will say yes and they don't really know why, what wife said or the significant other or someone else. We all agree and then we get in trouble. But so Darlene and I had the agreement that I would look at her eye to eye, then I'm responsible for what she said, my answer. And that was actually a working agreement until I got my hearing aids. Now I'm accountable for everything. The fact was that it was uncomfortable. In a restaurant, I could not hear because people were closely connected in the same proximity. Uh there was a lot of background sound coming in. I couldn't hear that. And if you were speaking to me, Blaze, like you are now, I'd have difficulty hearing you unless I was right next to you and just attending to you completely.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 3:05

Jerry, everything that you're telling us right now, we hear on a daily basis from our patients, correct, Dr. Delfino? And what they'll typically say is, my gosh, I would get frustrated. I might begin to socially withdraw. I'm not participating in the conversation. Would you echo that? Would you say that you started to feel those sort of feelings?

Gerald Ephault 3:26

The only feeling I had is that I knew I wasn't hearing the entire conversation, or I wasn't effectively listening. I call it effective listening. I was not effectively listening because I couldn't hear everything that was being said to me, or I was missing information. It wasn't so much that I was uncomfortable with the individuals with me or the business meetings. I was never uncomfortable in that context. Okay. It was just that I knew there was an impairment occurring and I had to overcome that.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 3:54

It's interesting you mentioned listening because we can actually measure, Jerry, effortful listening through what we call pupilometry. And Dr. Delfino, I'd love for you to dovetail and just explain to our listeners right now, number one, why it's so important to visit an audiologist and get your hearing tested on an annual basis. But if you do present with hearing loss, why it feels as though you have to put so much effort to listen and to actually understand what is being said.

Dr. Gregory Delfino 4:33

That connection

Why He Waited To Act

Dr. Gregory Delfino 4:34

is oftentimes muddied and oftentimes will create somewhat of a delay. Jerry, in your case, you had mentioned that you were struggling with difficulty hearing. You knew that there was a deficit. What I'm curious to find out, and I ask all of our patients this, is the length of time that it took for you to recognize that the problem was there, and then to say I need to do something about it. Not that there was any denial, but there was certainly some procrastination with regard to addressing the issue. And what were some of those barriers that held you back from going out and doing something about this?

Gerald Ephault 5:08

Yeah, I'd say uh procrastination would be uh an appropriate term, not in the sense that you know I was delaying something. Procrastinate means like you're delaying a determination or an action. It wasn't that so much, Dr. Delfino. It was more of not being sure of a solution because the hearing loss to me was incremental. My hearing loss started when I was a young man. I was in the military, I do active sport shooting, I had industrial applications, I worked in a manufacturing operation, everything was over 90 decibels. We did not know we were having hearing loss. In fact, it was an accepted outcome of being in the aging process, irrespective of what our occupations were. This was an expected outcome. And I wasn't aware of that a solution could be effective at the same time. So it wasn't so much procrastinating, it was lack of awareness that a solution set was available to me that would actually bring my hearing to what should be normal.

Dr. Gregory Delfino 6:06

And prior to that, had you, being in the military, they do uh entrance and then separation exams, all during your journey. Were you having your hearing tested? Was it being evaluated? Were you able to see this deterioration of your hearing?

Gerald Ephault 6:20

I became aware of a deterioration of hearing when I was in the industrial sector. I was working in a manufacturing operation. I was there 17 years in that manufacturing operation, which was printing and binding. It was a very high-speed environment. The equipment was operating at very high speeds and was continuous. What we did then when people became aware of hearing loss through OSHA, Occupational Safety and Health Act, people became aware of hearing loss occurring to many people within the industrial or manufacturing sectors. We had audiologist test, and that's when I knew empirically that I was losing my hearing.

Coping At Work With Hearing Loss

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 6:58

Jerry, you're a veteran, and following your time in the service, you entered the private sector and you know had the opportunity to work with startups, small business, big business. Now, during your time working with these companies and business leaders, how did your hearing loss affect your performance?

Gerald Ephault 7:20

It affected me individually because I would accommodate for the knowledge that I wasn't hearing. So I was accommodating, my behavior would accommodate. So I would then make sure I was very close to you. I would sit by you. So I would accommodate my hearing loss to the environment I was in. Because I was aware of it, but I was trying to attend to the individual for that effective listening at that I spoke of. And then that led to proper communication. But for instance, if I were in a business meeting where we weren't proximate to each other, I would take notes. And then when I came back, I could read my notes and then fill in the gaps. And then take notes at key points. So I was accommodating the situation.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 8:04

And what's interesting, all of these compensatory strategies that you were implementing to increase your overall speech understanding, this is all prior to even wearing hearing aids. Correct. And you've lived what it's like to put forth that effortful listening because everything that you just listed there takes time and it takes additional effort. Tell us about in terms of meetings, the seating arrangements. Was there a specific point in time where you got entirely just frustrated, flew up your hands, and said, you know what? Like we said earlier, enough is enough. What was that defining moment? Was there a specific moment where you just got so frustrated, so fed up with having to put forth so much effort that you said, I'm doing something about this?

Teaching Makes The Problem Obvious

Gerald Ephault 8:53

Yes, I could say I don't know when the specific moment was, but I know when the specific occurrence was. I'm an instructor, I teach at a university. And in that class environment, that's when it became very apparent because the class environment is different than you would in a business meeting or in your home. Yes. It's very different. In a business meeting, you could usually be in a conference room, uh, you could be in a different situation where you could control the speakers coming to you if you needed to sit closer to someone. You could turn up the volume if it was done through audio, visual presentation. But in a classroom environment, you have students that are arrayed and they have different tonal qualities, volume of their voice, their articulation is different. They may have a dialect that's different than yours. And we had foreign students. So it was very important that I could hear what they were saying so that we could effectively instruct and effectively communicate to each other. That's when I realized that I had to have a solution that was beyond me attending to, I like I spoke earlier, within a business meeting. So that classroom environment required that I do something about this.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 10:02

Dr. Delfino, we talk about these defining moments. And what are some defining moments that you've heard just from treating patients for over 30 years?

Dr. Gregory Delfino 10:11

Well, Jerry is not unique in as much as the realization that what you're hearing and the information that's being imparted to you has an impact not only on you, but on the people around you. The fact that what people are saying, expressing their sentiments, their thoughts, has an influence on what you do and how you respond, and it elevates your ability to hear and understand to a point where you want the best performance that you can get, the best mode of communication that you can present so that you don't feel as though you are diminishing their experience as well as yours.

Gerald Ephault 10:47

Well, Dr. Topino, I can give you a specific example of where accommodation was where instructors were using whiteboards. So if I turn my back in a highly interactive class where you're soliciting the students to respond to you, or what are you putting on the whiteboard? If you turn your back and you have a hearing difficulty that I did, that's a problem. So how do you adjust

The First “I Can Hear” Moment

Gerald Ephault 11:09

to that?

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 11:09

Jerry, you're a very good friend of the families and personal mentor of mine. And you were one of the first mentors that I personally had when we started the fader plugs journey. And while working with you, we always discussed hearing health care, hearing aids. And I personally had the opportunity to fit you with your new hearing technology. And we're curious to know, tell us what your experience has been like with your new hearing aids.

Gerald Ephault 11:36

First of all, I could say, and he put this in paraphrase, I can hear with that exclamation point. Well, in your brain, it says, I can hear. It's a revelation. That's what the way I want to say it. Very emphatically, it's a revelation, like I can hear. Because you couldn't hear before. I had another set of hearing aids from a a different company, and they were state-of-the-art, really good hearing aids, but yet the units that you fit me with were exceptional. And then also your capability to adjust them to my hearing, to my brain, yes, made the world of difference. So, first of all, I could hear just that you placing them in them, but then the adjustments that you made here at the service really brought it to my brain and enhanced the hearing by orders of magnitude. It was very different, a very different experience for me.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 12:29

And it's so important because we know that you are a professor. You currently work at Wilkes University and you were an adjunct professor at East Strasbourg University in the Innovation Center. So you're cultivating the young minds of tomorrow's future, right? And that was so important for us to understand that. What is the problem that you're trying to solve? What are some of the situations and environments that you personally need to understand in? What did you notice once we fit you with your technology in the classroom? Because the classroom is often difficult. You're talking to maybe multiple students at the same time. They're asking questions at a distance. What has this new experience been like for you?

Gerald Ephault 13:17

Well, it it really brought to me how I should hear if I were a normal and didn't have any disease within my ear canals, you know, the problem of hearing loss. That normalcy allows me then to teach effectively. And for students and I to communicate effectively. So it's a big difference. But I want to point out, too, that in the home environment or what your family are not in the classroom, this is just as important so that I can hear effectively. I mentioned my wife Darlene earlier. She was long suffering. You don't realize how long suffering your partner is or your family by you not being able to hear. It really is. And that's quite dramatic. And there's a re accountability and responsibility on the individual to overcome that. That's how I look at things. And my other hearing aids I had weren't that effective in accomplishing what I wanted to. If you're watching TV, I had to get my own hearing devices so I could have it remote going into my earphones and what have you. Yep. So I was buying devices like that, so that the audio on a television, if my wife and I were watching a show together, I wouldn't have it at some volume level that was like almost like someone screaming to her. Whereas to me, I was just about effectively just getting the words or the sound of a musical instrument and what have you. So that I want to point out was just as important to me, not only in the classroom environment where you have multiple individuals, spatial distance, a lot of things happening at once, multiple people speaking at one time. Whereas in the family, you really want to attend to people. But you're also, like I said, I use the word long suffering because you realize just the difference of where it is. And even now when I take my hearing aids out at night, I could tell immediately the sound decibel level coming into my head.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 15:05

It's like a blanket's being put over your head.

Gerald Ephault 15:07

Yeah, it's crazy. It just drops down so much, you can just tell when it's happening. It's not subtle.

Real Ear Measurement Explained

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 15:14

Dr. Delfino, Jerry presents with a sloping high frequency hearing loss and essentially no response at six and eight thousand Hertz bilaterally in both right and left ear. So we knew that there were some essentially dead regions in the cochlea. And when we fit Jerry with his hearing instruments and we conducted real ear measurement, do you remember Jerry saying, wow, it sounds so clear. Why is it so important when you are fitting hearing technology to conduct real ear measurement and take all of the data into consideration when fitting the hearing aid properly, utilizing real ear measurement?

Dr. Gregory Delfino 15:54

You know, it's interesting, Jerry, in your case, when we would have conversations with you and you would tell us you were wearing instruments and that you were struggling with hearing speakers, and you had in in some sense had addressed the issue by putting on hearing aids and hearing aids you thought were of good quality, but you were still struggling with many issues that had been with you for a number of years. Blaze and I, when we were talking about that, we had a sense that there was something more that could be done. You know, the reality is that anyone who is working with people with hearing loss, and anyone who is trying to ameliorate those issues, our goal must be to represent hearing to that ear canal in its most natural and normal form. There is where we're talking about restorative hearing. We're bringing it back to a level of normal. And having looked at your audiogram, Blaze and I knew we could do more, but the issue was then how do we precisely tune in your instruments to your loss? And that's why using pro-microphone, real ear measure, we were able to do exactly that. And that's why you had such an aha moment, because these instruments were now creating a listening environment that was most natural to what you were expecting.

Gerald Ephault 16:59

Yes, that's uh absolutely true. That I mean, I that aha moment, if you want to characterize it like that, that was essentially what happened. Another thing that I noticed also, and Blaze, you asked me about uh the finding moment when it happened. I still recall when you were speaking out, Dr. Zapino, at I was at a conference and there was hundreds of people there. And I recall speaking to people, but there was people all around, we're all crowded together, and multiple conversations were going on, not in the same party, people, you know, a foot away from you with their backs talking to three other people. And what I realized that I was getting so much sound carryover that I couldn't discern what the person in front of me was saying, even though I was proximate to that individual and looking right at him, I could not overcome all that sound that was coming into me through the background noise, all kind of background noise. That was at one of those moments that came to my mind.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 17:51

Jerry, you are a veteran, which again, on behalf of the Hearing Matters Podcast, Audiology Services, and Fader Plugs, thank you for your service. Truly, thank you, thank you, thank you, you're very welcome. So you're a veteran, family man, professor, entrepreneur, and outdoorsman.

Family Life and Tinnitus Relief

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 18:06

What don't you do? But how has the hearing technology positively influenced your interpersonal relationships?

Gerald Ephault 18:15

It really has improved everything across the spectrum, please, everywhere across the spectrum. That's the only way I could define this. It's just changed my behavior of accommodation to a sense of normalcy, dealing with people. I don't have to worry about if I'm sitting back from a speaker at a conference. I don't have to really turn up the volume on our audio equipment. I don't have to do that. In class, it's very effective and listening and hearing what people are saying. And then in the personal life, in your family life, we don't have that difficulty now where my wife hears at one level and she has very good hearing. And she'll say, Do you hear those birds outside? And normally, if I don't have my hearing aids, I cannot hear that. And then I have tinnitus, which exacerbates the whole problem. So by having the hearing aids in, it overcomes the tinnitus and allows me to live in a normal environment. And that's probably the best of all. Like you're living a normal environment. So if you're speaking on the phone, you could hear someone in your home and you're listening to music, you don't have to jack up the volume, and then the other person is in distress because it's so loud. Absolutely. Right. So that whole sense of normalcy is so important. That need not to accommodate is so important. Because you go in, I'm confident all the time, but you know from effect of listening that you actually are going to be able to communicate.

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 19:37

And again, just for our listeners, the goal of wearing a hearing instrument is to decrease overall listening effort and to increase overall speech understanding. That is why we fit our patients with hearing technology.

Advice For Anyone On The Fence

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 19:52

Jerry, I would consider you and we would consider you an early adopter. You are absolutely an early adopter. What would you tell patients who are on the fence with regard to moving forward with hearing technology? They know that they present with the hearing loss, but there's some apprehension there. What would you tell those individuals?

Gerald Ephault 20:12

Well, not to hesitate. I would tell them to come here to Audiology Services, and that's not a plug. It's just based on my experience here and the quality of service, the attention to me as an individual. And also the technology that's fitted. That technology is the enhancing part. So we have professionalism. That's my view of this service here at Audiology Services. The care of you and Dr. Delfino to me as a patient. Very important. That relationship. Dr. Delfino, you mentioned before how you were attending to my requirements, how I heard, what would be normal to me. Those are very important from a patient doctor provider relationship. And then also the technology that you have here is important. You just used my hearing aids and took out the moisture. And I didn't realize there was any moisture in my hearing aids. I take very good care of them. But there was moisture in there, and you told me how many decibels it was reducing my hearing. Yes. So I would say to everyone in your audience, do not hesitate. Come in, be tested. You'll find out what could improve your life.

Final Thanks and Next Steps

Blaise M. Delfino, M.S. - HIS 21:18

You're tuned into the Hearing Matters podcast with Dr. Gregory Delfino, M. Blaze Delfino of Audiology Services and Fader Plugs. Today we had Gerald E. Fault join us. He is a veteran, entrepreneur, businessman, professor, and current hearing aid user, and he shared his experience, his amazing experience with his hearing technology. For more information, visit HearingMattersPodcast.com. Until next time, hear life story.