How to Criticise Politely in English at Work [594]

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Learn how to criticise politely in English without sounding rude, aggressive, or too direct. In this episode, you’ll hear natural English phrases you can use when giving feedback, disagreeing carefully, or pointing out a problem in a business environment.

These phrases are useful for meetings, workplace conversations, emails, and everyday situations with people you know. This episode is especially helpful for intermediate and advanced English learners who want to sound more professional, diplomatic, and confident when giving criticism in English.

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Transcript

Speaker: 0:09

Hi there. This is Harry. Welcome back to Advanced English to help you to get a better language, to help you with your business, English skills, goals are, we're here to help. And for those of you and your to one lessons, well, you know Just get in touch www.englishlessonviaskype.com and you can apply for a free trial lesson. And we'll be very happy to hear from you and very happy to help you. Okay. Well, this is an advanced And in this particular lesson, we're specifically looking at formal and business English relating to being polite when you have to or need to criticize somebody. So we'll look at that in And the second part of this about business English. We'll also look at some phrases when you might have to criticize you know well. Okay, so primarily we're looking are really good for you. They're out there who have difficulties understanding what you should do when you're put in a situation where you're managing people or in charge of a team, and you're not quite sure how you should approach somebody when you have to criticize them. Any time that we have to It's always nice to criticize in There's absolutely no point somebody because first of all, listening after a few seconds. Secondly, they're going to get probably won't listen anyway. And thirdly, all they'll hear is blah, blah, blah, blah. So the criticism will be So hopefully with some of these expressions, you'll be able to criticize somebody not only in a polite way, but also in a calm way. That will mean you'll get The message will get through to them, and perhaps there's a better chance that they'll understand why you're criticizing and how they can improve themselves. Okay, so this is an advanced As I said, it's going to be two The first part is primarily it's more formal. And the second part will be relating to criticism that you have to give when you're talking to people who you know particularly well. Okay, so let's get started. Okay, so I'm going to give you and then give you an example. Okay. So the first one is, I have to say, or I am bound to say b o u n d I have to say, or I'm bound to say. And you can see why these are a informal at all. So very much business style So we use this expression when we want to say something that may annoy the person that we're talking to. So they're going to get a little are criticizing them. And they particularly don't like So let me give you an example. I'm bound to say I found your written response to our client's query a little short of the mark. So you're criticizing them because the letter that they replied when the client was complaining was didn't really answer the client's or the customer's problem. So I am bound to say that your client's complaint was a little So basically they're saying the Okay. So you really have to try better the next time, make sure that you read or listen to the customer or the client's complaints, and then make sure you answer those properly and thoroughly when you're replying to them. The next expression is with respect to or with all due respect. So with respect to or with all And again, as you can see, it sounds very, very formal and very businesslike. And this is used when we're going to disagree with somebody in particular and we're going to criticize them. And we also want to be sounding So we could say something like With all due respect, Mr. Smith, I do think that you're being very unreasonable. Yeah, with all due respect, Mr. Smith, I do think you're being very unreasonable. Now, you might hear this on a TV program, particularly where an interviewer or the presenter is perhaps interviewing a politician, and they don't ever want to be rude, but they certainly want to get across the point that either the viewers wouldn't like what is being said. You say, with all due respect, viewers will really understand With all due respect, Mr. Smith, being reasonable at all. I think you need to consider it Okay, so it's just different ways in which you can criticize somebody about something they have said, but you want to be quite polite. And as I say, it's a very good way, particularly for journalists or TV presenters, to talk in particular to politicians or leading business people who they have on their programme. But equally, you can use it in So you you might be saying something like, with all due respect, Michael, I do think you need to take a little bit more care and attention with your appearance. So perhaps you're criticizing one of your workers over the way they dress. You might have a dress down little bit too far. So with all due respect, Michael, I do think you could take a little bit more care or pay a little bit more care and attention to your personal appearance. Next one, to say the least, or Now, these expressions often So we put in our criticism and usually at the end of the usually used when we want to actually worse than what how we Okay, so the situation could be a lot worse or a lot more extreme than what we are actually saying. So we use these expressions when we're trying to express that view and opinion, so to say the least. Or to put it mildly. So let me give you an example of I think his behavior at the order, to put it mildly. So obviously somebody went a little bit crazy at the office party. Perhaps he got very drunk. Perhaps he insulted a few And this is your reaction to it. So I think his behavior at the of order, to put it mildly. So really, it was really OTT Or you could say, I found the week absolutely disgusting, to So it wasn't even discussing. It was worse than disgusting. It was terrible. So perhaps you had organized a perhaps it was in some way to company and the meal you found So you could say, I found the meal in that restaurant last week really disgusting to say the least. So you you might want to use worse language, but you're very careful not to be overly critical. And when you use that expression mildly, it's really telling really worse than you're making Okay. All right. Now, the next expression, shall Now, this on its own sounds a little bit strange, but again, we put it in the middle of the sentence. Okay. And we're using it when we really want to be criticizing somebody. But we want to be not so sound too severe. So we're we're trying to water down or make it sound a little softer when we are giving criticism. So the expression is, shall we So let me give you an example of Your Time keeping, shall we say, Or your time keeping, shall we say, is not up to the level of other people. So here you're criticizing a they're constantly late. They're either coming in late or They don't apologize. They don't give any excuses. They always seem to be under So you're saying, yeah, your attend the office, shall we say, shall we say, are not up to the So you're trying to be as polite You're not trying to offend too much, but you do want to get the message across that really they have to get the finger out and they have to improve their time keeping. Next expression. Don't get me wrong, don't get me Now, we use this when we want to understands Exactly what we are want to understand your comments And you particularly when you're So you want to give them some You know that not everything is bad as they might think it is. But at the same time, you want Now, it could be something simple, like, let's say your presentations or the way they handle clients. So let's talk about staff member Well, let's take Mary's Now, don't get me wrong, she's needs to do a little bit of work when she's coming to the end. Okay, so a little bit of criticism, but it's not undue criticism, but it's in a way to try and improve her presentation skills. So let's take Mary as an Now don't get me wrong, her her She speaks well, but at the end goes on a little bit too long ending to it. Yeah. So this is a way in which you polite way, or it could be they talk to their clients. Now let's talk about David. Now, David, when he's dealing with clients, don't get me wrong, he's really, really polite. There's absolutely nothing wrong They are impeccable. But he tends to talk a little bit too much, and he doesn't listen to the client as much as he should. So here again, we're putting David and the way he deals with be overly critical. So we say, yeah. Now let's take David and how he Don't get me wrong, he's He his manners are are really impeccable, but he just tends to talk a little bit too much and not let the customer talk, or he doesn't listen to the customer or the client in the way he should. Okay. So again, trying to criticize Okay. Well, the next expression, how Or let me put it this way. So they're more or less the So how shall I put it? Or let me put it this way, these say something where you really Okay. You want people to understand But for some it may sound a sound a little bit unkind. Okay. So perhaps you're talking about your son's new girlfriend? Well. His girlfriend. How would I say? How shall I put it? She's a little bit rude. So you're trying to be as honest as possible, but the only word you can use is she's a little bit rude. Or his or her new boyfriend. So our daughter, her her new How will I put it? Or let me put it this way, her suitable for her at all. So you're really as a parent or as a father or as a mother, extremely critical of your daughter or son's choice of partner. And you, you want to be honest, being too rude or too in kind. Of course, as we know with our any criticism of their chosen usually going to support them. So you have to be really, really Okay. And the last one I have is an without wishing to. So it means, and we use this something that the other person So we're sort of giving them a without wishing to hurt your wishing to sound too harsh. Without wishing to burst your bubble is another way we can say it. So let me try and give you a couple of examples when we might use it without wishing to hurt your feelings. I really think you need to put a little bit more effort into this presentation. The first document that I saw, that we need. Okay, so without wishing to hurt to burst your bubble, that that going to stay with us too long. I know you're excited that you realize in a couple of months them long term. Okay? So without wishing to burst your your feelings, so you're saying going to be critical. They're not going to like it, but there is no other way to say it. Okay, so they're all different specifically relating to specifically about criticism, you can hear from them. Okay. Now it's important when we are, that we do it in a as polite a person doesn't get unduly upset. But it is also important when we criticism is clear. It's understandable. And of course, the best way to do that is when you're calm and you can be collected and you can get it across without shouting and screaming. Okay. Now, what we're going to look at criticize people who you know a So if you want to be direct or that you know, well, then there fixed phrases that you can use. For example, you should have. Now we often use this with the You should have called me before you agreed to allow her to take some holiday. So perhaps you're being head of HR or somebody. So you know them very well, but they didn't consult you before. They give some permission for somebody to take some extra days leave. You should have called me before, or you might even say to your son or daughter, you should have asked me before you use my credit card. Of course, I would have said if you had asked me first. So you should have asked me I like to know how you are have called me. And in the negative we could say without my approval. First of all, you shouldn't have completed That side of the agreement, or you shouldn't have completed that contract without me, without me being aware of it. Okay, so you can say, yeah, you things, but I'd like to know what the contract was all about. And again, if you take it on a personal level, you might say to somebody, you shouldn't have taken my car without my permission. So son takes your car, nothing There's no damage. He's a careful driver. But again, you come home and the You would like to have known and You shouldn't have taken my car Or without seeking or asking Okay. So again, you can use it in a Another way of doing it is you could say, why didn't you ask me first? So this is with the infinitive. And here it's just the bare Why didn't you ask me first. Why didn't you go to your mother and ask her for some money, rather than borrowing money from a friend? So perhaps your son comes into have you got one hundred euro? I had to borrow some money last really needed it. And you say, well, why didn't to borrow it from your friend? Why didn't you go to your mother borrow it from a friend? So here we're using the why Plus the infinitive either in a Ask or go to the verb go plus Okay, so they're a good examples again of using it in a personal capacity. Why didn't you call me last Why didn't you call me last Okay, so there again, simple these type of strong words, criticizing somebody for actions they haven't done. Okay. Now, as I said, we always want And when we want to criticize with some compliments as well. Now we just have to be careful here because sometimes they can be received or seen as backhanded compliments. And a backhanded compliment is with a criticism. So we have to be a little bit Yeah. And now here are some phrases I appreciate your hard work, but put in a little bit more effort So you're telling somebody, You appreciate the hard work to go an extra little mile to Yeah. So I appreciate your hard work, little bit more effort now to I can tell that you have put a I really appreciate it, but I think it probably needs some assistance from one of the senior managers. So here again, your you are work and effort they've put into But and here is the but, but they're going to have to hand it over to somebody a little bit more senior, because that's the only way this deal is going to get closed. So I can tell you've put a lot of effort into it, but I think you need to hand it over to the senior manager or indeed, if you're talking to one of your kids and say, look, I can see you've put a lot of effort into your studies, but are you sure you're studying in the most effective way? So here you can see the hours and hours that your son or daughter spends in their room at their table. But you want to make sure that whatever studies they are doing are effective. So yeah, I can tell you put a you sure it's been effective and I enjoyed your presentation bit too long. Okay. Or I enjoyed your presentation have done with a little bit more Not as much writing, but overall it was a really good presentation. So again, we are criticizing, compliment and then something presentation, but I think it's a it's a good presentation, but I the beginning and get a really, So again, compliment with the carrot and the stick approach. Okay, so different ways in which using a compliment. So I appreciate your hard work. I can tell you've put a lot of I enjoyed your presentation Overall it's good, but always I enjoyed the presentation. It was good. But. And when we are criticizing, try Constructive means that somebody benefit that will help them to they've done, not just criticism Ah! That's crap. Ah! Jesus, this is rubbish. What have you done? I mean, that's not constructive So constructive criticism is I find, for example, I find it helpful to use this platform or I find it helpful to run this by Joan or Michael or Mary or Catherine. Okay. So giving some criticism to the might get a second set of eyes So you could say, I find it helpful to get somebody else to read over my letters or presentation when I'm finished them, because I often miss some things. You know, when you write it, you don't always see the little mistake. So I can I find it helpful to look at it later. So if you're unsure in the Or if you're unsure in the gladly read it or look over it hints or some tips. Or we can pass it on to one of with it as well. So if you're unsure about anything in the future, don't hesitate. Okay, so these are helpful ways to give criticism in a constructive manner. Okay, so this is the end of this As I said, we were looking at more formal business type of English, how you could be critical, and how you could give criticism in a friendly and polite way. And in the first way. It's usually with people that They might be just colleagues, If you're you're the line And the second half of the people that you would know a And therefore, the criticism point, but you have to be people that you know. So as always, have a look at Get a chance. If you have to be critical, try to use some of them in your office or ordinary relationships with people. If you need any more help, then contact me on www.englishlessonviaskype.com Very happy to hear from you and very happy to give you any further assistance that you need. Okay, well, thanks for Thanks for watching and as the next lesson.