S02-E03 UPTOWN GIRLS
INT. RETROGRADE ALEX & SHARROW ROOMS
(ALEX, SHARROW, SOPHIE)
SOPHIE
Good morning Oh!
SHARROW
Good morning.
SOPHIE
SHARROW why is your voice
different, do you have a cold?
SHARROW
No, it's those horrible scientists,
they were poking around with an
electro probe and they triggered
something they shouldn't. Hence
the voice.
SOPHIE
Is it going to get better?
SHARROW
They don't know. Reading between
the lines the answer is no!
ALEX
I'm going to twist his little head
with those beady swivel eyes, my
fingers around his throat will
change his voice, see how he likes
it!
SHARROW
Well that's not going to help is
it.
SOPHIE
Well, I like it, look at the good
side, it sound's sexy! You know the
boy's are going to love it!
ALEX
SOPHIE, do you ever think of
anything but boys?
SOPHIE
No, not really, it's all these
hormones running around my system!
(laughter). So look you two, now
it's time for some implant
practice. I will get you started.
ALEX
Great (sounding less than
enthusiastic)
SOPHIE
No Ms ANGEL, do you want me to
report back to RUDI and GANDER,
that your being difficult.
ALEX
You wouldn't!
SOPHIE
Yes I would, because I'm under
orders, so there!
SHARROW
ALEX just go along, it's less
painful in the end, really!
SOPHIE
Yes ALEX do what your sister says.
ALEX
She's not my sister!
SOPHIE
Well, you act like it, and argue
like sisters, so thats how I think
of you.
SHARROW
I don't know whether to be insulted
or flattered.
SOPHIE
See, case closed. Now where were
we, oh yes! (pause) OK, you two
now sit on your beds and face the
blank wall, close your eyes. No
peeping ALEX! Now you see those
small icons to your left, they are
neuroiconic displays, they are
showing the various expanded
potentialities, you have audio
discrimination, visual memory
indexing, pattern analyses. Then on
the right you have the datavise
controller and medical monitoring.
So lets just show you a few things.
Concentrate on the medical package,
has it opened up?
ALEX
Yes its expanded and opened like a
flower.
SOPHIE
OK, see that icon with the XALONE
logo, open that and it will tell
you the status of the implant
progress, it should show 100%.
ALEX
Yes that's cool, hey, I'm getting
the hang of this, can we go now.
SOPHIE
SHAS, I'm starting to understand
what you were saying the other day.
SHARROW
Exactly, now you're starting to
see.
ALEX
Oh, so it's SHAS now and your
talking behind my back!
SHARROW
I'll get a shovel to help you dig.
ALEX
Thanks! I'm a modern girl now SHAS
all tooled up with implant brain
things and little nano bugs, what
could possibly go wrong?
SHARROW
Sigh! See what I mean?
SOPHIE
Oh yeah, totally. So, back to the
matter in hand, just take your
time, there's no rush. It takes a
few weeks for it to get second
nature, like driving, what did you
call them, 'meter cars' or
something? .
ALEX
Motor cars, hell SHAS, I miss my
Indian motorbike, I'm never going
to ride one ever again.
SOPHIE
Well, we have more important things
to do than wallow in nostalgia, we
have to shop, and get you guys
looking sweet! We have a party to
get to!
SHARROW
Not another one! Who's party are
you going to show us off at this
time, SOPHIE?
SOPHIE
Oh this is just a low key affair
just a friend from experience
school, its her eighteenth
birthday, theres no pool this time.
Probably best after last night.
SHARROW
Ohhh, I don't think I can party
this hard anymore, I am over a
hundred.
SOPHIE
Nonsense, you're biologically
twenty, and anyway you're on duty
so it's work not pleasure. Think of
it as field training, learning to
parse.
ALEX
(sigh) It's a hard job, but
someone's got to do it!
INT. RETROGRADE C&C
(CHEN, GANDER, RUDI, SHARROW, SLIM)
RUDI
Lets see what our two nurds have
dug up, this may be very
interesting!
SHARROW
Lets hope they didn't ring every
alarm bell and hooter, in the bad
guys offices. I had an idea RUDI,
its obvious really.
RUDI
Oh, what is it?
SHARROW
Well, its really an early warning
sign.
RUDI
Go on!
SHARROW
So, we arrived and were found, then
went immediately to the general
hospital, OK.
So if operatives of any sort were
looking for us, wouldn't they do
the same thing. Go to the hospital
and start tracing our path.
RUDI
So, if I understand correctly,
you're saying we should make some
enquiries about any suspicious
visitors or incidents, perhaps
contact the people who looked after
you and see if they have been
approached.
GANDER
Now I think that is a very good
idea. It gives us an immediate
local place of enquiry. Who have we
got who could go uptown and not
draw to much notice?
RUDI
Hmmm, I don't have anyone, not sure
about drawing notice, maybe SLIM,
perhaps in a business suit.
GANDER
Yes, he would have to scrape the
cow shit off his shoes, to pass up
town. I was actually thinking of
MAURICE, he is quite connected in
the gay community and he goes
regularly to purchase material and
other obrezki. He could make some
enquiries perhaps. We could send
the two of them. Beauty and the
Beast.
RUDI
Cow girl and cow boy, you mean!
SLIM
Well I sure ain't the beauty
component. You got that miniature
snap gun, it might get us out of a
difficult situation.
RUDI
Thats a good idea, SLIM would you
be willing?
SLIM
Sure thing Marm, anything to help.
I actually like these two
miscreants. One thing though, I'm
not going into that viper nest, we
nearly got trapped last time, it
was a close thing.
I'll meet him in the bar. We may
need to spend a couple of days up
there, you good for a a couple of
rooms.
RUDI
Why don't you share. (laughing)
SLIM
Well thats sure ain't going to
happen.
RUDI
Ah here they are. So Sargent CHEN
can you present what you have
found.
CHEN
Yes Marm of course. OK, we
initially started looking at
newspaper reports of a shoot out,
noise damage etc to the address of
Ms Angel and May's office. We did
find two news articles about
property owners complaining about
the insurers not paying out. There
were also reports of noise, but
strangely no reported deaths. No
blood or bodies found, we think
that the cops were paid off and a
clean up crew went through the
building, picking up all evidence.
RUDI
Doesn't sound promising, but does
corroborate one part of the story.
Do the dates line up.
CHEN
Yes Marm, they do.
RUDI
OK, what about any other aspects?
CHEN
Well we are still running our
search and correlation bots out of
some lunar servers, the light speed
delay meant that they have only
just started. We did however find
one amazing coincidence.
RUDI
Yes, whats that?
CHEN
Its the secretary marm.
RUDI
The secretary, what about her.
CHEN
Well, have you heard of Hedron
Finch.
RUDI
You mean the space line, yes of
course.
CHEN
Well she runs it.
RUDI
What. You mean's ANGEL and MAY's
former secretary, runs a space
line, HEDRON-FINCH I.T.G. it's
huge.
CHEN
Yes but remember she has had fifty
plus years of life, someone could
do almost anything in that time.
GANDER
Wow, that throws up some very
interesting political
possibilities.
RUDI
Oh, how?
GANDER
Well if we could use our two
friends to make contact, I heard
rumours that Hedron-Finch is in
competition with our enemy STANK.
Perhaps mutual common interests,
could converge. We could make new
allies?
RUDI
ALEX and SHARROW did say they
wanted to find out what happened.
Mind you we can't just call, we
would never get through the gate
keepers. Besides we need a quantum
encrypted line to contact Earth
totally securely, and the cost
would be significant. Besides she
would never believe such a
cockamamy story.
CHEN
Excuse me, marm!
RUDI
Yes CHEN.
CHEN
Well we don't need to go to Earth,
you won't believe it but she is at
this moment staying at the Plaza
Hotel, Sybaritic Suite 10, uptown,
New London. Perhaps if we could get
to see her, with Ms ANGEL and Ms
MAY, they could persuade her.
GANDER
What is she doing here in the belt,
I thought Hedron-Finch was an Earth
prime based business.
CHEN
Yes but, every five years there is
the Space Industries Conference,
and this year the keynote of the
conference, is business in the
outer solar system, so they decided
the only facility that is large
enough to host the conference and
which is near to the outer belt, is
New London. Now due to travel costs
around eighty percent attend
virtually, with a pre programmed
avatar, due to the distances and
light speed delays. However the
large predators, always come in
person. It's like a badge of
honour and only amateurs cut deals
remotely. If you can afford to
attend in person, you know you have
made it in the industry!
RUDI
Shit, why thats brilliant, we have
to use this, we need to physically
meet!
CHEN
Well, we need to act fast, its the
second day. It's not going to be
easy, there is top flight security
keeping the (Chinese for
undesirable people) out.
GANDER
Kokavorcha! We must get in there
and see her.
RUDI
Easier said than done. Its at the
Plaza Prime, that place is as tight
as a nut.
The reasons guests pay big bucks is
for the privacy and the fully human
service. Looks like we'll need to
mount some form of military
incursion operation. Oh, bugger
here we go again, and just after
our 'Bat Stags Christmas'. I'll get
BOY in and see if he has some
idea's.
INT. RETROGRADE MAIN BAR
(DOILY, GHOST & LATITUDE, MAURICE, SLIM)
DOILY
I tell you ghost those two, all
innocent and the like. They give
me the creeps. Did you know they
are over a hundred.
GHOST & LATITUDE
Well, I hate to disagree with you
my human friend, (bubble, lay beep
blah, shi, shi, shit), but in
reality the experiential age is
only in the mid fifties, they have
been in stasis remember.
DOILY
Yes well, I could argue the point,
but they are now only physically
twenty. Those old eyes, argh! I
just can't look at them. It's
creeping me out!
GHOST & LATITUDE
I think you need a drink, we
haven't (she, she burb), had a
(bubble, lay beep blah, shi, shi,
shit), game in weeks.
DOILY
So you're voice coder is still
really flakey. How's the tweaking
with CHEN going?
GHOST & LATITUDE
Not well really Mr CHEN has been so
busy both on the 'Batstags' and
(bubble, lay beep blah, shi, shi,
shit), then just this week with the
background search. He has had to
postpone my treatments. He was
saying we may need some new parts
from 16 PSYCHE, unfortunately thats
this model's maintenance hub.
DOILY
Oh, dear, I don't have the funds at
the moment, its not really getting
much better. Look I will try and
rustle up some more funds for
parts, we'll get you all fixed up
GHOST don't you worry.
GHOST & LATITUDE
Thats no problem my friend, I've
been earning money in the bar,
remember, Ms. KOSCIOLEK has also
given me some tips when the bar is
busy.
DOILY
It's GANDER, GHOST, no one uses her
formal name. So how are you finding
'humans'.
GHOST & LATITUDE
They are (bubble, lay beep blah,
shi, shi, shit), indeed very
strange Miss Doily, some of them
really don't like me at all. One of
them called me a rude name.
DOILY
Ahh, I'm afraid thats one of our
many faults my friend. Look if any
of them give you real problems, let
me know, I'll sort them out right
away. We don't stand for any back
births in the Retrograde. We even
have a sign over the door to that
affect.
GHOST & LATITUDE
I also have got a loyal following,
mainly female, on account of the
2031 cocktail recipes I have
absorbed. They appear to like the
margarita range. Mr WINCHELL has
also been helping me perfect my
mixing techniques.
DOILY
WINCHELL, oh, you mean SLIM. Well
I'll bet he has, the old dog.
Mixing technique, thats a new one.
Has he been getting free drinks off
the house too.
GHOST & LATITUDE
Yes, when he says a mix is a little
incorrect.
DOILY
The sly dog. Well let me tell you
GHOST, you better stop giving him
free drinks, it will cost you.
GHOST & LATITUDE
Oh. That is not the case Ms DOILY,
no not at all, in fact the house is
several hundred credits up as of
this morning. I instituted a funds
recovery operation based on SLIM's
so called Texas Holden 'training'.
Of course I keep winning so I have
to keep compensating. He called, me
a iron hearted, 'go niang yang de',
the other day. He says the devil
himself couldn't read my eyes.
DOILY
Well he may be right there my
friend. I think you should take it
as a massive compliment, because
thats what it really is. You know
that SLIM really likes you don't
you. Say tell you what GHOST. Line
up one of your margarita's for me,
I'm feeling lucky, nothing too
sweet mind.
GHOST & LATITUDE
Oh, how exciting, let me see, oh,
yes I have just reviewed 1050
different recipes against your
personality profile, and with your
specifications, yes, I think,
think, (think shi shi shi). Oh dam,
this one will do, sweet and sour at
the same time.
DOOR OPENS
DOILY
Sounds ghastly, but whatever, oh
here he is in the flesh. Mr Poker
player himself.
SLIM
Ladies, you seen MAURICE?
DOILY
No, tell me SLIM, GHOST here was
recounting how, you're teaching her
some Holden. Sounds like you been
having some learnings yourself.
SLIM
Oh did she now. Well, its only
because I let her win, as a
demonstration, you see I'm training
her. A hmmm.
DOILY
Oh hell SLIM, don't tell me, you've
taken a fancy to her, you old dog.
SLIM
Now, young DOILY, you'd be putting
words into my mouth, GHOST and me
have a purely professional
relationship. Its based on a solid
platform of gambling and boozing.
GHOST & LATITUDE
That is quite (SHi, SHi), correct
Mr WINCHELL.
SLIM
GHOST lay off all the formality,
I'm SLIM to you my girl, you've
taken enough money off me to earn
that right.
DOILY
Oh really! You running out ya
pockets now. You watch out GHOST,
he is turning on his cowboy charm.
If he offers you a ride on his
horse, say no.
SLIM
All part of the ol service my
barfly friends, I'm bout as smooth
as that old cocktail you'll be
getting.
DOILY
Yeh, well that remains to be seen.
Now to the question in hand. I
really haven't seen MAURICE at all,
though CANDY came out swearing
fifteen minutes ago, and guiding
that heavy self propelled trunk to
the door. You know, I think you two
are going to make a lovely couple,
going on a little honey moon
uptown.
SLIM
Hay, less of that. I'll let you
know this is purely an operational
mission. We'll just be going uptown
for a few days for a reconnoiter
and to make some enquiries.
DOILY
I'll bet. Never took you to be the
uptown girl there SLIM.
SLIM
Well, I'm drinking these bloody
cocktails now ain't I, thats half
way there.
DOOR OPENS
Maurice appears resplendent as if a peacock has entered the
room.
MAURICE
Oh, lovely, there you are, oh,
you're a little cowboy for up town.
Mind you I know a few of those good
old boys. If your not careful
you'll get them, over excited. They
go for that sort of thing.
SLIM
Well, if they even get close,
they'll be entering a world of
pain, there are no bent horse shoes
on my ride.
MAURICE
Oh, well I keep them at bay then.
Now, I'm all packed and ready, I'm
just going to check my look in the
mens room.
SLIM
Not one word, DOILY, not one word!
GHOST & LATITUDE
I do find you humans so confusing
(bubble, lay beep blah, shi, shi,
shit)
DOILY
Oh you'll get there eventually,
just work this bar for long enough!
INT. RETROGRADE C&C
(BOY, CHEN, RUDI, ZED)
RUDI
Ah, there you are, Major.
BOY
Yes Marm. I've just been taking an
inventory of the arsenal with
Sargent CALVIN, we think we are
going to have to restock shortly.
Were going to need some new funds
for sure, and that means an
operation Marm.
RUDI
Yes I know Sargent, it's been on my
mind, rest assured. We have a short
term play which may bring some
benefits and that's why I called.
BOY
Oh, yes Marm.
RUDI
We may be able to gain a contract
with Hedron-Finch ITG, we need to
affect a meeting, and thats why I
have called you in. Sargent CHEN
and private ZED are just heading
up. I'll fill you in with all the
details.
TIME PASSING
BOY
Ah, I see, yes it would appear to
be an opportunity. My first feeling
is this is going to be almost
impossible, that Plaza hotel has
level five security, top notch
systems. Do we know where the
target is situated, exactly?
CHEN
I tried a back hack into their
booking system, but none of my
attacks were successful. I
eventually got one of my contacts
to deliver flowers to the hotel, he
managed to catch a glimpse of the
room number we require.
BOY
So what floor is it.
CHEN
Not good Sir, top floor I'm afraid
floor seventy one, Sybaritic Suite
ten.
BOY
Hmmm, that blows the one idea I
had, we'll not even get up to the
floor.
ZED
If I may interject Sir!
BOY
Yes private of course.
ZED
Well I think there is a way in, but
it means climbing up the lift shaft
to gain access to the service room
at the top. From there I think I
can definitely perform a hack on
the lift controller, the security
isn't that tight. Its the one weak
spot I could identify.
BOY
So you're thinking of mag grips and
servo arms, its seventy floors
that's over three hundred meters,
thats a hell of a long way.
ZED
Yes, but we can put an extra
battery in a back pack and use
those, new electron compression
cells. The sums show they can make
it, and the lift shaft plans show
enough gap for the passage of air.
They need it because the lifts are
so fast
RUDI
Hmmm, sounds difficult, but we need
this, any other suggestions?
BOY
I have none.
CHEN
No I have none either Marm.
RUDI
OK then, so I think we do this, we
need a three man team up that
shaft. It will have to be ANGEL and
MAY and you ZED. You up for it?
ZED
Yes of course.
RUDI
I'll hang in the lobby with GANDER,
we'll scrub up and look like
delegates, the lobby is open and
will have no security other than
body scanners.
We will carry no weapons, so we
should be good, we will have a
couple of G&T's as begets our
seniority in years, whilst you
youngsters do the running about.
We'll be doing 'strategic'
thinking! Once you control the
lifts, you just data-visa a pre
agreed message with the lift
number, we'll agree a code, we go
to the lift and will meet you at
the appropriate floor. Then its up
to ALEX and SHARROW to convince
their friend of the validity of the
story.
EXT. OWNERS CAVERN
(MAURICE, SLIM)
MAURICE
So SLIM what do you think our
approach should be. We need to get
into the hospital and somehow find
out about the Doctor that treated
SHARROW and ALEX. I must say I
don't have any immediate idea's.
SLIM
Well, its going to be tricky. We
can't just rock up and start asking
questions, that will get us
straight into jail. Hmmm, the only
folk that can legitimately be
snooping around are the Snoops,
Cops or CIS. Its a felony to
impersonate, them, still gets us in
jail.
MAURICE
So what about other office types,
lawyers or solicitors or perhaps
even probate solicitors. Yes thats
good, perhaps, we could be making
enquiries for probate settlement.
That usually peps people up, they
want to respond. WE could say our
target has come into money and we
need a signature to formalise
probate.
SLIM
Hmmm, you sure you haven't done
this before. That's actually a good
idea MAURICE, it might work. We'll
need some business cards, could we
pop into a solicitors and borrow
some stationary.
MAURICE
Now why would we need to se a
solicitor?
SLIM
Why we'd be getting married, my
attractive friend.
MAURICE
Really, oh SLIM I never new you
cared!
SLIM
Well don't be getting any long term
plans, cos I see divorce on the
horizon, real quick.
MAURICE
I hate to say this but we really
don't look like office twerks. We
are going to have to get a change
of clothes and you'll have to tone
down the cowboy factor.
SLIM
Oh crap, I don't think I'm going to
like this at all, I'm going to have
to lose my hat!
MAURICE
Well, speak for yourself. Now from
my point of view it's going to be
difficult to tone down this
gorgeous visage to just a shade of
grey.
SLIM
Well then I'm going to get us a
man's cut, straight up, those
highlights are gone!
MAURICE
Really, a barbers, it's barbaric!
SLIM
You better believe it!
INT. JACK SMITH BARBER SHOP
(JACK, MAURICE, SLIM)
JACK
Dam it,SLIM, you old bastard, been
a long, long time. You still
smelling of the bar, you're
propping up.
SLIM
Jack, you scummy space dog, still
running from that second wife?
JACK
Yep, and you'd run from her too, if
you knew her.
SLIM
Yep, I'm sure I would.
JACK
So, how can I scam some cash from
you two hairy dogs? Say, who's your
friend here, he looks a little bit
fruity.
SLIM
Now, calm down you bastard, you'd
be minding a man's business, not
your place to be asking too many
questions now is it. We both need a
clean up, short, we need to look
like a pair of solicitors.
JACK
So that'll mean a shave too.
SLIM
You bet yah, its time, I got rid of
this old bush, its starting to get
annoying.
JACK
Well OK then, you sure you got
credits, you look a little tight.
SLIM
No reason to say that. Credits are
not any issue my friend, were good
for anything you'll charge. Mind
you don't think that gives you a
license to run free.
JACK
I'll just get the towels out of the
heater.
SOUNDS OF BARBER
SHOP BITS AND
BOBS
MAURICE
(Whispered) You've been here
before.
SLIM
(Whispered) I was a regular before
I moved to the BC. Don't worry this
place is all good, it's just man
talk, you won't find a better
barber in New London.
MAURICE
Darling, this place is a foreign
country to me.
DOOR OPENS AND
BABRER RETURNS
JACK
Now gentlemen please sit here and
here. I'll start with you, now what
was your name.
MAURICE
MAURICE.
JACK
Now what kinda fancy pants name is
that?
MAURICE
Its the one my mother gave me, now
are you going to shut up and do
your job. Or should I just get up
and go to a barber with a smaller
mouth.
JACK
(Laughing) Now thats more like it.
SLIM
You got some coffee in the shit
pump you call a machine, I'm dry
over here.
FADE BARBERS
AMBIENT
EXT. ON ROUTE TO THE PLAZA HOTEL – OWNERS CAVERN
(ALEX, CUTHBERTSON, MAURICE, SHARROW, SLIM, ZED)
INTERIOR CYBER
TRUCK
SHARROW
You look quite sweet in your lift
maintenance uniform, its worryingly
cool on you.
ALEX
Now look don't you start, its just
field camouflage, nothing more, and
you know it. You look quite the
grease monkey yourself, so you have
no reason to talk. Tuck you hair
into the cap though, you don't want
it getting caught in anything
mechanical. ZED how long is it
going to take for this truck to get
there, its so slow!
ZED
It's just an old industrial bot,
the self-drive routines aren't that
'confident' I think it's had some
degradation of its neural net.
SHARROW
You know, I'm nervous about meeting
the 'older' KRIS, it's really
weirding me out. What will we talk
about? Will she be very different
from the young cool but kooky women
we knew?
ALEX
Well she has had nearly a whole
adult life time, it's a long time
for some one to change. Life can
throw a few curve balls. I can't
get over how she has become so
powerful through a spaceline. Who
would have thought!
SHARROW
Yep, roger on that one.
ALEX
I must say it's strange that this
place still uses human's to clean
rooms and change the beds. What's
wrong with robots?
ZED
It's all part of their exclusive
appeal to the very rich, no robot
contact, the all human touch. A
good hotel is all about the service
experience, and that's what the
mega rich expect. They also don't
like the thought of potentially
hackable tech wandering amongst
them.
ALEX
Well, I would have thought that
people are even more unreliable.
Their weakness is our strength,
otherwise how the hell would we
wander about the floor, even when
we get up there.
ZED
We're just going through the final
service tunnel between the
industrial and owners caverns. We'd
better get ready. Do you have your
tool pouch.
SHARROW
Yes, of course, and I'll stick it
up your backside if you make fun of
me!
ALEX
Not going to do that! I have mine,
look, we're even! Do you want to
push the utility trolley or should
I?
TRUCK DOORS
OPENING, LIFT
AND TROLLEY
SHARROW
Already on it, it's all mine, lets
go.
END