S02-E06 - CALL TO URSULA
INT. RETROGRADE C&C
(BOY, GANDER, RUDI)
FADE IN:
BOY
So Ma'am, I can see in the tank
that the forces are at
diametrically opposing ends of the
rock. We are going to find it
difficult to fight our way through
a hundred miles of tunnels, we
would be boxed in and defeated in
detail. It's a death trap. A small
team however perhaps could sneak in
if the existing troops are
sufficiently distracted.
RUDI
Yes, it is Major, my thoughts
exactly, that's why we are going
across the surface in a vacuum
campaign, below the laser range. We
go for the power plant, whilst at
the same time make a lot of noise
at the owners end to pull all the
troops towards that campaign. It
will clear them out of the tunnels.
They think we are mounting a full
out frontal assault, whilst we
sneak around the back. It's crazy,
with the low gee's and craggy
surface, which is exactly why were
doing it. They'll be set up for a
frontal attack with assault ships
and rail guns around the mine
portal. I propose a flanking,
approach, using surface troops.
Just like the old days, remember
the campaign on Selene 5 base.
BOY
Oh, yes Ma'am, very interesting
strategy, that one. (Chuckles) I
like it.
RUDI
So Major with that in mind, can you
start the call-ups and equipment
readiness.
I also need you to obtain detailed
geo-spacial data for the rock both
underground and at surface and also
astrometric data of surrounding
close orbits, we need some rocks to
hide behind. Oh and any
photogrammetry data would be useful
to integrate. You know the drill.
Start the rostering and get any
armaments we may require. Oh and
get some of those old pogo's out of
stores, they won't be expecting
something so mechanical! Also some
thoughts on how we may liberate the
caverns from vermin once we clean
out the head end. We don't really
want a house to house snipper clean
out, very expensive in troops, so
think of an alternative will you.
Prepare the holo-tanks so we can at
least look at all optionality's
tomorrow.
BOY
Very good Ma'am. It's good to be in
action again.
RUDI
Yes it is Major, but officially, we
are not in action yet. Not until
the contracts get signed.
GANDER
RUDI, can I hold back some of the
younger Cherries for defence of our
base, I may be paranoid, but I feel
fairly NERVIOUS at the moment as
you know. Once the bulk regiment
is deployed, we don't want to be
flanked.
RUDI
Yes, totally agree on that one,
it's common sense to protect the
flank. OK folks, let's do what we
do best!
INT. A&M OFFICE
(ALEX, GANDER, SHARROW, SOPHIE)
ALEX
So SOPHIE this band you want us to
go and see next week, what type of
music is it?
SOPHIE
Well it kind of sits between two
genre's, so people say that its
pixelated grunge, but there are a
load of folks, that swear its post
punk retro-garage.
ALEX
That's not helping, really.
SOPHIE
I know right, it's just labels.
Anyway, the lead singer is way
cool, and he has a really nice
smile.
ALEX
Ah, now I'm starting to understand
your sudden liking for this music.
Anyway, you do know I'm not into
boys, don't you.
SOPHIE
Dah, so totally obvious from day
one. I knew straight away, when you
started hitting on me.
ALEX
I did not, you have an over
inflated sense of your female
powers. Anyway I can't mix business
with pleasure. Besides, you and me,
is never going to happen, you'd be
high maintenance.
SOPHIE
Oh, you have no idea, but I would
reject you anyway. You smell of
army fatigues and danger!
ALEX
Sister, danger is my middle name!
Anyway SOPHIE I didn't come over to
talk about that at all. I wanted to
ask your advice on my hair
actually. I need to get a cut and
thought you might know a good place
to go, I'm still suffering trauma
from that bubble head cut from the
mirror house raid. My hair needs to
be set free!
SOPHIE
Oh, that's exciting, well I think I
need to figure this out. Do you
want long or short?
ALEX
Hmmm, I've been short for over
fifty years. A hate to admit it but
I think all these youthful hormones
are starting to bring out my deeply
buried, girl tendencies. I was
thinking of going to the doc, but I
don't like needles and a good hair
cut might solve all my problems! I
was thinking perhaps asymmetric
long with punk attitude.
SOPHIE
Well then you need some active nano
in your hair, also those integrated
power extensions would be cool.
ALEX they are amazing, they link to
you implants too. If you want to
colour your hair you just think of
what you want and it uses chameleon
ware, to match that colour. They
even reset to the root hairs as
your normal hair grows. Its a
little like my avatar's hair but in
the real world.
ALEX
Sounds expensive, but I need it
immediately. (Laughter)
BLEEP
ALEX
Is that the coffee machine?
SOPHIE
No, silly I programmed the stack to
give a phantom audio signal via you
implant. Look at your inbox icon.
ALEX
Oh yeah!
SOPHIE
It's, GANDER I can tell by the file
colour, its old fashioned.
RECORDED MESSAGE
FROM GANDER
GANDER
Girls, hello, hello. Who is this,
oh ALEX, Trackamina, this
technology.
BOTH SOPHIE AND
ALEX LAUGH
GANDER
So, we are investigating a
potential new contract for the
regiment and RUDI and myself need
you girls to go on a little errand
to 16 Psyche and its habitat
Asphodel I.S.H. There you will
find a small, but important metal
exchange and an accountant nerd
called 'Nervous'. We need to do
some digging around in the physical
records of a mines, metal
transactions. Could you come down
to level 15, vacuum bay beta
please. This is a paid assignment
obviously. I think it would be
good to have both of you on this
one. Please meet with DOILY.
ALEX
Oh great, we have a gig SHAS but
its not going to be a bundle of
laughs. It's with that DOILY
chick. We know she has a serious
hard on, directed straight towards
me.
SOPHIE LAUGHING.
SOPHIE
Oh dear! You know she really hates
you. It's because you caused her to
scratch her best vac suit, she's
not a happy bunny! I would prepare
for series negative gee's because
she will just want to make you puke
for sure. Even under normal
circumstances she just loves tight
turns when there lots of
expendables. I Just wish I could be
a spy camera on that trip. It's
good there are no olfactory sensors
The stink will be huge!
SHARROW
Yep she hates me too. I think I'm
just too dam attractive and girly
for her!
INT. RETROGRADE VACUUM BAY BETA
(ALEX, DOILY, SHARROW)
DOILY
You're late!
ALEX
We are early, we didn't get the
message until fifteen minutes ago.
Is that any way to greet your new
passengers. If you don't want us,
we'll just turn around and go away.
Then you can explain to RUDI why we
didn't do the mission.
SHARROW
Look DOILY, I don't know what your
beef is, but can we please just
keep this fully professional.
DOILY
Sure, professional (slightly sneery
voice) whatever. Just don't stink
up my ship. This is going to be a
barf run. Now do either of you two
newbs have spacesuits?
ALEX
No, we don't, as you well know, why
would we have any space or combat
gear, we have nothing! You do know
this isn't a little holiday jaunt
for us, don't you?
SHARROW
You do understand we were kidnapped
and forced here against our will?
DOILY
Of course, I'm not stupid, I know
the full story, dah!
SHARROW
Well then, chill out, I'm getting
sick of so much hostility, it's
very tiring.
DOILY
Look, it's not personal. You're not
getting into my picket ship, or any
other military vessel without a
full ship suit. Preferably a full
vacuum suit. It's a safety issue,
if it was personal you'd know it.
ALEX
I'm going to clock you one, I'm
sick of this bad mouthing.
DOILY
You want to try?
ALEX
Yes I do, as a matter of fact, but
I have to warn you I'm CIS trained
in kick boxing, and I know of at
least twenty ways to disable you.
So dial down the lip and give us
some space.
DOILY
Well, I'm under orders, so unless I
want a court martial, nothing is
coming your way from me.
ALEX
Well, OK then, thats good. Now
where do we go about getting the
appropriate gear.
DOILY
Well as this is an official
operation you can get free issue
items from the regimental
commissary, level seven, ask for
JACKIE. However once the this gig
is over, you'll have to give them
back, right? As I understand your
non commissioned consultants, they
are expected to provide their own
equipment other than weaponry for
contract work.
ALEX
I think we figured that out.
DOILY
My recommendation is that longer
term you'll need to get your own.
A suits like a parachute, you
should always pack your own. Smells
better too!
SHARROW
So, where is a good place to get a
permanent and decent suit?
DOILY
Well, my recommendation is
Morton's, not cheap, but reliable,
they stock the better-quality
product. Mind you, you'll be
talking of fifty large for
something that won't kill you. If
you're smart, better to spend more.
A good suit needs to mesh with your
implants.
I like the ITG Moody reactive
compression, they are light but
really tough and come with a full
range of clip ons and over suits.
ALEX
Well, that's one thing we can agree
on, a spacesuit is something you
should never underspend on.
DOILY
Yes, for sure. OK, I'm going to
prep the picket, please try and get
back here by 10:00 Zulu and it
might be a good idea to get some
barf bags, I wasn't joking about
the puking, its going to be punchy
INDIFERENCE to REASON is a beast.
You do understand what a picket
ship is don't you?
SHARROW
Ah, why don't you enlighten us!
DOILY
OK its a very small ship, just tank
and huge oversize motor, made for
one thing and that's speed. So we
will be pulling some serious Gees,
its not comfortable but it'll get
you there, real fast. Looking at
you, you're going to puke, most non
space hardened folk do. I don't
want to be cleaning puke out of the
controls, and I can tell you that
JACKIE will be really pissed if the
suits smell dodgy when you return
them, so you're going to have to
clean them before you give them
back, I recommend jiffy quick WX40.
ALEX
Oh crap, great, just great.
INT. ULTRA FAST PICKET – 'INDIFFERENCE TO REASON'
(ALEX, DOILY, NERVIOUS, SHARROW, TRACON)
SHIP INTERIOR
NOISES
DOILY
OK, are you two good to go? Just to
let you know, we will be doing a
powered slide, fling launch. Fast
and violent.
It will be followed by some rapid
and serious burns, we need to get
around the slower ships.
SHARROW
That' sounds rather 'stomach
churning'.
DOILY
Oh, yes it is. (Smiling) It's ultra
cool really, nasty on the bowels
though, but it gives us the
shortest trajectory. Timing is a
bitch, needs very close co
ordination. You ready then?
SHARROW
Not really, but we have no choice.
DOILY
Right on there sisters! TRACON, UFP
Indifference, awaiting launch
confirm.
TRACON
UFP Indifference, confirm launch
trajectory approved. T-25. Please
stick to trajectory, we have a lot
of traffic around the station
today.
DOILY
Roger
SHARROW
It's really tight in here and this
suits very hot, I'm feeling a
little queazy already.
DOILY
It'll get hotter when main burn
commences. Go into suit controls
with your implants and turn down
the heat, also plug in the
umbilicals so you don't drain the
batteries. Oh, and take those drugs
I gave you.
ALEX
So how long is this going to take?
DOILY
Journey time is around 10.2 hours.
I've loaded some video from GANDER
with some background on the metals
exchange. We've also got some
squeeze bulb foods and drinks.
I guess we probably won't need the
food due to the 'turbulence'. I
would recommend no food until I've
got this baby up to speed. We'll,
be pulling multiple gee's. It's
not called a fast picket for
nothing.
ALEX
Great, you ready for this SHAS?
SHARROW
Not, really, I've always been a
little dodgy over this buck rogers
stuff.
DOILY
Relax girls, you've got the best
pilot in New London, it'll just be
like going on a roller coaster.
TRACON T-10, 9 8,7,6, 5 Clamps
off, 2, Release. Confirmed.
SHARROW
Arghhh,
WHOSSHING AND
BURN NOISES
INTERSPERCED
WITH BARFING
ALEX
Wow, oh, that's a bitch!
SOME TIME LATER,
WITH DRY
RETCHING!
DOILY
You all finished back there.
SHARROW
Arghhh, no, just finishing my
latest, nothing left to come out.
Oh, ALEX help me!
ALEX
DOILY, you got any of those, tabs
for space sickness?
DOILY
I do, but GANDER said that I need
to keep both your heads clear. If
I give you too many of those, you
tongue will start to hang out and
the eyes will roll. So only one
more. Look we only have half an
hour before our berth.
If you look at the sensors you can
even see our destination. I'm just
about to run up some more gees on
you. Want to know the good news.
ALEX
So, what's that then?
DOILY
We knew you were going to barf,
everyone does in these ships, so we
pre-packed some clean clothes.
When you get to destination you can
freshen up, whilst I sort the
docking protocols and refuel.
GANDER said we need to make you
look like a couple of lawyers for
cover. The brief is in the suit
case with the clothes. Oh and you
need to show the credentials for
'Nervous' with the id badges in the
case. He'll also need the code
words in the envelope.
SHARROW
This 'Nervous' sound a little
paranoid. (Barf sound) Arghh.
DOILY
Oh, he's not just a little
paranoid, it full nut case
paranoid.
SHARROW
Why are there so many weird
characters in the belt?
DOILY
Get used to it, it's the wild,
wild, west out here.
ALEX
OK, DOILY, let's get the pain over
with.
DOILY
Wana hear the good news?
SHARROW
Not really.
DOILY
We won't be pulling so much delta V
on the return, and I can knock you
out with tabs, cos you don't have
to conduct an interview.
You'll sleep like babies. It'll be
a cruse in the park compared to
this.
SOUNDS OF
INTENSIVE
MANOEUVRING,
INTERSPERSED
WITH BARFING
NOISES.
INT. ASPHODAL I.S.H. PORT SIDE WASHROOM
(ALEX, SHARROW)
ALEX
If I have to go through that again,
I'm going to wipe that smug look
off her face.
SHARROW
Just make sure you wipe the sick
off mine first, then I will join
you. That was seriously bad.
ALEX
I think she was really enjoying
that, the little shit. It was
payback for the fright we gave her
in that scow.
SHARROW
I think the problem between you and
her is that you are essentially,
like peas in a pod, both street
urchins made good.
ALEX
Well that won't stop me clocking
her one if she tries those
manoeuvres again. (Pause) I think
you have a bit of barf in you hair.
SHARROW
Ohhhh. Look I'm going to shower
again I can still smell the sick.
ALEX
Whilst you clean up I'm going to
have a look at that brief again.
SOUND OF PAGES
BEING TURNED
ALEX
SHAS (shouting out to the shower)
Why is this a physical copy, why
not just send an electronic copy to
our implants?
SHARROW
(Opening shower door slightly) It's
this 'Nervous' character, GANDER
said that he never transmits
anything electronically, completely
bonkers, we are supposed to read
them and then destroy them. I have
a catalytic pouch, when were
finished we just seal it up and
pull this tab. She said that he is
the best forensic accountant
anywhere in the belt, apparently
owes GANDER some favours.
ALEX
So if thats the case, why do we
still have to pay him in cash?
SHARROW
Well, apparently he is on a
retainer as well, she said it was
worth it, saved her a lot of cash
in the past apparently.
ALEX
(Pause) So, let me get this
straight, if we are stopped by the
cops, we are posing as corporate
fund managers. We are making
enquiries as to past transactions
and corporate profiling on a
potential take over target.
SHARROW
Yes exactly, but if we're stopped
let me do the talking as this is
more my bag, just follow my lead,
OK.
ALEX
You've got it. Just let me know if
you want me to hit someone.
SHARROW
Well let's hope it doesn't come to
that. Now we've a meeting at this
coffee shop, I've called a cab.
INT. ASPHODAL CAVERN ONE COFFEE AND BLUES
(ALEX, NERVIOUS, SHARROW)
NERVIOUS
Are you sure you we're not
followed. Did you double back
several times.
SHARROW
Yes we doubled back, and got a cab
to another location and walked.
ALEX
We also went through the kitchens
of a restaurant. Look we know
something about losing a tail. We
are registered private
investigators.
NERVIOUS
Well you don't look old enough.
ALEX
Appearances can be deceptive.
NERVIOUS
OK, so don't look around, but does
anyone in the coffee shop look
familiar?
ALEX
No, apart from my partner here.
NERVIOUS
So how well do you know her.
SHARROW
Oh, for heavens sake, look GANDER
sent us.
NERVIOUS
Yes but how do I know you are who
you say you are?
SHARROW
We have ident's look.
NERVIOUS
Yes but these could be faked.
ALEX
Look, if they are faked how come we
knew to come to this location at
this time?
NERVIOUS
Bug's they're every where, just
watching and listening.
ALEX
Buster, you need to calm down. We
have a code word. Now I will
whisper it in your ear.
NERVIOUS
Oh, well I see!
ALEX
Yes we could only know that because
GANDER told us in a secure place,
so dial back the extreme paranoia
and listen to what we want OK.
NERVIOUS
OK, so, how can I help, but keep
you voice down OK?
SHARROW
Look, we know, that you already no,
the targets because GANDER sent you
a coded message, so let cut to the
chase. Oh and before you do I need
an iced coffee, I need to get some
liquid into me, we had a rough
trip. (Pause) waitress could I have
an iced coffee please,
ALEX
Yes I'll have the same, what do you
want ah, Mr ah 'NERVIOUS'.
NERVIOUS
Oh I don't drink anything unless
it's tested first. And the names
Andrew.
SHARROW
So, ANDREW, we understand, you
specialise in corporate finance
with a speciality in forensics,
around corporate setup, management,
and mergers.
NERVIOUS
Yes, of course, look keep your
voice down please.
SHARROW
Yes, well GANDER asked us to tell
you that we need to know who is
behind this mine as shown here, and
also look at the finances of the
miners union. She is particularly
in interested in the off-book
position, transfers to other
holdings and who actually pulls the
strings.
Its part of the normal due
diligence for a potential action,
details of which, I cannot impart.
NERVIOUS
Of course, you can't be too
careful, hence the physical visit.
So we are going to have to go back
to my base I have equipment there
to do the analysis and searches.
INT. ASPHODAL CAVERN TWO - NERVIOUS'S UNIT
(ALEX, NERVIOUS, SHARROW)
NERVIOUS
Now let me see, ah yes, yes, this
entity is interesting, the research
threw up this. Your sponsor was
correct, there is something
strange. The on-book position
looks rather weak mainly due to
some rather large transfers to the
parent company and a high cost
base, some of which looks highly
dubious. In fact according to this
figure here, they have been making
a loss since inception, so no tax
has been paid. They even received a
government grant. However, let me
show you something else.
SOUND OF TAPPING
KEYS.
SHARROW
Oh, that's very interesting
NERVIOUS
Yes, I thought so, it's rather
ingenious.
ALEX
What? Will you explain please.
NERVIOUS
OK, yes well for the lay person.
It's a classic tax minimisation
strategy, in some places's it might
be considered avoidance. So
corporations can use inter
corporate transfers to legitimately
minimise the tax one location
whilst moving it to another in a
low tax regime. You see these
multiple transfers are disguising
these transactions, here, here, and
here, you see.
SHARROW
Oh, yes, I see they balance. There
are quite a number. Yes, regular
sales on the metals exchange,
balanced by the transfers around
the group of companies. So, even
though the local company looks like
it is making a loss, it is in fact
profitable. Strip away all the
'financial engineering' it would
return, let me see, oh seven
hundred million bit coin backed
credits, oh thats around a billion
cryptos per annum.
NERVIOUS
Indeed, this set this is classic
large corporate, it looks like a
large inner system group. Possibly
intersystem trading corp, or
perhaps Magellanic ITG, it's the
sort of financial vehicle they
would normally use.
SHARROW
Yes, I see, so from the returned
financials, it may look like a
poverty stricken mining company,
just managing to stay afloat, but
in fact it's a golden goose.
NERVIOUS
Exactly.
SHARROW
I've seen enough, if we could have
a physical copy please that would
be good, we will keep it very
secure of course. Thank you for
doing the research we will report
back to our clients. We would
appreciate discretion at your end
on this. We were never here OK. If
you hear of anyone else asking
about the same companies, it would
be advantageous for you to call.
Thank you Mr NERVIOUS.
NERVIOUS
Are you sure you were not followed?
ALEX
Do you want me to give that code
word again.
NERVIOUS
Ah, no it's OK.
ALEX
Well, goodbye then. Oh and remember
we weren't here at all.
DOOR OPENS
SHARROW
What did you say in that code word.
I don't remember GANDER giving you
a word.
ALEX
I told him, that if he didn't stop
being such an arse, I would kick
him around the room and call the
cops, especially after putting up
with DOILY, I really needed to
punch something.
INT. RETROGRADE GANDERS OFFICE
(ALEX, GANDER, RUDI, SHARROW)
GANDER
So, SHARROW how did you enjoy your
trip?
SHARROW
You know full well what it was
like!
LAUGHTER FROM
RUDI AND GANDER
GANDER
Yes, we call it the mixer run.
SHARROW
Well, next time, you can mix it
yourself. My stomach has still not
settled.
RUDI
Well, it is a combat situation,
good experience of high gee
environments, some people pay good
money for that!
CHUCKLES
ALEX
Yeah, but most are draftees, right,
not much choice in that.
RUDI
Ahhh, yes well, (pause) you have a
point, we may have to draft you
next time.
So, to the matter in hand, do you
think this mining operation is
actually owned by STANK.
SHARROW
Well we can never be sure, but it
has all the signs, it's a group
corporate, lots of subsidiaries,
lots of fixed cost to maintain a
complex structure. My gut feel is a
yes to the question of STANK, best
assume that.
RUDI
OK, we will take that as an
affirmative. Have we had a response
from KRIS yet, I want to know who
is the mysterious sponsor of the
union action?
ALEX
She sent a short reply saying she
was still investigating. So nothing
definite yet.
RUDI
Well it looks like we should back
the miners faction, but I'm not
going to sign until I know who is
sponsoring that campaign.
SHARROW
Yes that's interesting, however,
this is not the first transaction
of this type. It looks like it's a
lobby group called business for an
independent belt or BIB for short,
but who is behind the group is
unknown and what are their motives?
RUDI
Hmmm, this whole shit show is
looking considerably more
complicated than we thought. We
need to tread very carefully.
END