
Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
G01-E06 - The Tower
Utility workers demonstrate an unlikely ability to create horrible smells and light fires throughout the Bencubbin.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
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GO1-E06 - THE TOWER
SUMMARY
Storyline is about the arrival in New London of GANDER
(DAVID Kosciolek) age 33 on the 6th of May 2052 (23 years
before the main Angel and May series) and the slow climb
up the slippery pole of power in the Bencubbin. This
first instalment details the time up to his/her purchase
of the Retrograde Inn from the Bencubbin Mafia.
GANDER gets the satchels as instructed and goes to MOMOS
and asks at the desk for JACINTA. She gets instructions
to go to the second sub basement level. Goes down stairs
and nearly gets shot and insulted by the kids as they
think she is an intruder. JACINTA calms the situation
and GANDER delivers the satchels. She has a tea with
JACINTA and starts to realise there is a whole world of
street life she is unaware of. GANDER then heads back has
a shower and joins the lads in the utility truck
GANDER, COBO & CROUPIER wait in the stolen utility truck,
whilst they wait for the stink to work. COBO has an
intercept on the phone lines to the utility company.
BEAR is finally released from the Retrograde worse for
wear and joins them in the truck. They receive the call
and COBO pretends to be the operative at the utility
company. He activates the signal on the radio based fire
bombs set up by JACINTA and COSTAS. VINCENT's thugs
spill out of the pub on the way to the bomb sites and the
coast is clear for the incursion to the pub.
COBO, CROUP, GANDER & BEAR turn up at the Retrograde,
pretending to be the Utility company repair team. They
get shown down to the Kitchens and advise the mob thug to
stand back due to the toxicity. COBO suggests he goes up
stairs and they will talk via radio. They then paint a
grim picture of a horrible repair which will involve
cutting into the bulkheads and advise that he locks the
doors to prevent poisoning! The Thug totally falls for
the ruse and the guys get started on the extraction.
Meanwhile COBO leaves to visit the CIS office to cause
more chaos!
INT. MOMOS BASEMENT - WARREN HOUSE BLUES
GANDER gets the satchels as instructed and goes to MOMOS
and asks at the desk for JACINTA. She gets instructions
to go to the second sub basement level. Goes down stairs
and nearly gets shot and insulted by the kids as they
think she is an intruder. JACINTA calms the situation
and GANDER delivers the satchels. She has a tea with
JACINTA and starts to realise there is a whole world of
street life she is unaware of.
GANDER
Hello, I wonder if you can help
me? I'm after a Ms JACINTA. I
have to drop something off.
RECEPTION
I see, perhaps I could take it.
GANDER
No sorry I have to deliver it
personally. I'm under orders.
RECEPTION
Oh I see. Hang on I'll call down.
(Bleeping)
JACINTA
Hello!
RECEPTION
Hi, JACINTA Its reception. I have
an Earthworm chick, she has a
package for you.
JACINTA
(Radio Voice) I don't know an
Earthworm Chick. What does she
look like?
RECEPTION
She oh, sorry he, has dark short
hair, looks kind of agency. Make
up, weird, and with very dark
lipstick, doesn't match! Sorry
Sir, no offense intended!
GANDER
None taken!
JACINTA
I think I know who it is. Any
name?
RECEPTION
Excuse me sir, can I get a name?
GANDER (AS DAVID)
It's KOSEOLEK, DAVID KOSEOLEK and
I'm...
RECEPTION
Excuse me Sir! To the left up the
stairs and on the table please.
Hurray the ambassador is due
within the hour! (Turning back to
GANDER) Sorry about that Sir, its
very busy and we are short
staffed!
GANDER
Yes I can see. Look just point me
in the right direction and I'll be
out of your hair!
RECEPTION
Down the stairs, take the steel
door, three flights down, then
turn left. Oh and no fast moves
the kids get a little twitchy with
strangers.
GANDER
I see! Jeez its a long way down!
TIME PASSING
STEEL AIRLOCK
GANDER
Hello, hello! Anyone home. Hello
is JACINTA there?
CLICK OF GUN
COCKING
COSTAS
Move another centimetre, and
you're a dead women!
GANDER
Not moving. Look COSTAS isn't it,
can we get some light in here? And
I'm not a women.
COSTAS
Your not fooling me Earthworm, we
know your ways. I have seen the
flecks.
LIGHTS COME ON.
GANDER
The flecks, what flecks?
COSTAS
Trans-America highway, Earth women
from inner space, Vampires from
Earth! I know what you are
capable of?
GANDER
Are you sure? Its sounds like
Hollywood fiction to me.
COSTAS
No its all true, JACINTA told me.
She told me to never trust an
Earthworm!
GANDER
I don't know, it sure sounds like
their all movies. I'm unarmed,
see! I mean you no harm, I come in
peace!
COSTAS
Keep those hands up. I'm not
telling you again.
GANDER
But their aching and this satchel
is heavy.
COSTAS
Tough! What's in the satchel,
Earth chick!
GANDER
For heavens sake I'm not a chick!
I should know!
COSTAS
Well, you look like a CIS agent
chick, and your definitely not a
man.
GANDER
I am a man! What are you on about?
COSTAS
Well, I don't grok man in you!
METAL DOOR OPEN
JACINTA
Stand down Soldier, leave the CIS
chick alone! COSTAS chill, she's
on our side. What did I tell you
about playing with strangers!
COSTAS
Well, why didn't she use the code
words?
JACINTA
That's because she doesn't know
them yet, silly! She's only been
here 24 hours.
COSTAS
Well, I still think she looks
dangerous!
JACINTA
She is, but she's on our side. Now
guns down and chill.
GANDER
I'm not a f***g chick, for the
last time. What is it with you!
JACINTA
Yeah, well you could have fooled
me, with those looks and body.
Sorry we don't mean anything by
it! You got the goods from
MILTON!
GANDER
Of course I got the goods, why
else would I be here?
JACINTA
Thought you might just be making a
social call, wanting to thank us
for saving your, (Pause)
indeterminate arse! OK follow me!
GANDER
Well, there is that, and thank
you! Now, can I put the bag down,
its heavy. Do you want these
detonators and bombs or don't you?
JACINTA
Yeah of course we want them. Just
making sure you're the right
stuff. We don't need dodgy types
on the team.
GANDER
Lets get a few things straight.
A) I'm not dodgy, B) I was a
street kid a long time before you
were born, and C) I'm a man, get
it!
JACINTA
Well, that clears a few things up!
Don't get so shirty, you've got a
short temper!
GANDER
So, I'm in the team! I just don't
know what its all about! When did
I join?
JACINTA
You joined as soon as you started
working for MILTON. We have some
'common goals'.
GANDER
Well, I don't work for him, but
with him, and I have no idea what
these common goals might be.
JACINTA
Money and security for the
warrens, that's what.
GANDER
I see. Well as we are in effect
partners, why don't you show me
what's down here then?
JACINTA
Its the warrens, stupid, dorm one.
This is where we live. I'll show
you the common area's, but not the
private rooms. Come through then,
what are you waiting for, we
haven't got all day, we have
crimes to commit!
DOOR OPEN NOISE
LEVEL GOES UP.
GANDER
Its like a barracks mess hall.
Pretty tight in here. How many of
you are there?
JACINTA
About fifty, goes up and down,
depends who grows up and leaves
and who comes in from the streets.
GANDER
Its cosy.
JACINTA
Each person has a bunk cubic, with
draws and a place for their
personals.
Communal wash rooms, but
individual showers. Boys and girls
in together.
GANDER
So is this all under MOMO's
palace, the whore house and
casino?
JACINTA
Yes, she sponsors this warren, two
others too. Keeps half the street
kids in the Bencubbin alive.
GANDER
Impressive. What happens to the
other half?
JACINTA
They die or get indentured, or
just disappeared!
GANDER
Shit! (Pause) This must be
expensive?
JACINTA
It is, but MOMO's palace is a cash
generator! Some of the old kids
work in the kitchens, and some go
off to the better hotels in the
owner's cavern. The kids all get
schooling in the morning and
vocational training in the
afternoon. MOMO's aim is to make
the kids employable and to give
them some universal skills.
GANDER
Wow, respect for MOMO, she didn't
need to do this!
JACINTA
Right, but not everyone is a bad
egg, some folks have a good heart!
Look I'd love to chat, and give
you the extended tour, but we are
on a tight timeline here!
GANDER
Yes of course.
JACINTA
Lets see what you've got. COSTAS
come over here, take a look at
these. Our target list has fifteen
sites. I don't think this is
going to be enough.
GANDER
Apparently, this is all MILTON
had. Its the radio detonators, he
bought them at electric city, he
said they are good quality, very
pricy.
JACINTA
Yes they look mil spec! COSTAS
what do you think.
COSTAS
Lets see! VHF, not great
penetration. Cambos-Davidson, good
manufacturer! We may need some
boosters about the place. They
look serviceable, better with a
small whip antenna.
JACINTA
Do we have parts from our own
stock?
COSTAS
Yes, fairly sure, with these and
some bits and pieces. We can do
the job!
JACINTA
No high explosive from COBO then?
GANDER
He said he needed lots of smoke,
but he didn't really want major
damage. He didn't want the CIS
involved just the local cops!
JACINTA
Makes sense. COSTAS perhaps we
could rap those rainbow flares in
some oily rags, they would smoke
like mad.
COSTAS
Good idea! How about we use the
Unicorn piñatas, with the Nitrogen
Tri Iodide base, lots of pops and
crackles, stick these flares in
like a porcupine and cover the
whole assembly in an old cardboard
box, it should work a treat. Oh
JACINTA this is going to be so
much fun, I love it when we set
fire to something!
JACINTA
Are you sure? That stuff is pure
evil! If you just look at it in
the wrong way it goes off!
COSTAS
I know, great isn't it!
JACINTA
Well, be careful! You stay here
and prepare the devices, the kids
can courier them out to the
targets. Get going, we are
running out of time.
COSTAS
Roger, roger, big sis! Come on
you lot, lets get ready!
JACINTA
She just loves rainbows and
unicorns, its an age thing!
GANDER
Really!
JACINTA
Yeah, cup of tea before you go.
(Sniffing) What's that smell?
GANDER
Oh, Shit, that's the Pinky stink
bomb. I had to carry it! Looks
like I need another long shower.
JACINTA
Well, I didn't want to say
anything! I hate that creep,
there is something wrong with him!
(Pause) So are you enjoying
working for MILTON, he thinks up
the best scams.
GANDER
Well, that's one way to look at
it. You could also say he leads
an interesting life! And I don't
work for him, I'm not in his gang,
I just share a room!
JACINTA
Yeah, sure! DAVID, look sorry
about the mis gendering. I know
it can be hurtful. I'll make sure
the kids don't do that again!
GANDER
Thanks, it can be annoying but
I've got used to it. Got to the
stage were I just say F*** to the
world and move on. Its not my
problem, its their problem.
JACINTA
Absolutely Gospondin! Why the make
up?
GANDER
I got used to it, I used to be on
stage. If I don't have it, it
just looks bare. Besides it gives
me a mysterious edge.
JACINTA
It sure does. I think its perfect
for you. The hair good too, suits
you! Makes you look CIS, more
unapproachable!
GANDER
So you think unapproachable is a
good thing?
JACINTA
Well in certain parts, but then
once BC folk get to know you,
nobody will care. This place is
one giant melting pot of outcasts
and corner cases.
GANDER
Well, I'll drink to that then.
JACINTA
Its tea, not whisky! (Pause)
Chocolate biscuit.
GANDER
Absolutely!
INT. RETROGRADE CONCOURSE - OPERATION BIG STINK
GANDER, COBO & CROUPIER are in the stolen truck, whilst
they wait for the horrible stink to work. COBO has an
intercept on the phone lines to the utility company.
BEAR is finally released from the Retrograde worse for
wear and joins them in the truck. They receive the call
and COBO pretends to be the operative at the utility
company. He activates the signal on the radio based fire
bombs set up by JACINTA and COSTAS. VINCENT's thugs
spill out of the pub on the way to the bomb sites and the
coast is clear for the incursion to the pub.
GANDER
Why are you guys still lurking in
the truck? Surely the stink should
have worked by now?
COBO
Surely, maybe, perhaps not. No
calls as yet. Also we don't lurk,
we are professionals! One of the
hardest parts of this type of
operation is the waiting!
GANDER
Yes, but you know that stink, it's
not something that can be ignored!
COBO
There are many potential reasons
why it hasn't percolated through
the inn yet! Perhaps the fans
haven't kicked on! Perhaps there
are air baffles in the duct work,
that only open at certain times.
Many, many reasons! So just chill
will you!
CROUPIER
Well, I caught a whiff of that
shitty stuff, and I don't care how
well 'hermetically' sealed it is,
that's a substance that will find
a way!
COBO
OK, team settle down! GANDER did
you bring some more of that
coffee?
GANDER
Yes, one flask, mainly for me!
COBO
Now then, share and share alike!
GANDER
MILTON I thought you were the one
who thought of every angle! Plan
A, plan B and Plan C. Why did you
not position more coffee on the
front line!
COBO
Well, my mind has been focussed on
matters pertaining to the job!
GANDER
Coffee pertains to the job!
COBO
Yes but its not directly connected
to the con!
GANDER
Sure! So where is BEAR, shouldn't
he be out by now?
COBO
Yes he should! (Pause) Oh talk of
good timing! Is that him?
CROUPIER
I think it may be, he's fairly
dishevelled!
KNOCKING ON OUTSDIE
OF VAN, DOOR OPEN
COBO
My God, BEAR you look like shit!
Tough night? (Chuckles)
BEAR
I'm going to kill you, those
bastards really worked me over!
One of them even pissed on me.
GANDER
Ah, that explains the(pause) Oder!
BEAR
You can shut up too!
COBO
But we gave you all that padding!
BEAR
Yes, well, it didn't work and it
soaked up the piss like a giant
sponge!
COBO
(Clearing of throat) Any more
coffee DAVID? For our esteemed
colleague, working at the front
line!
GANDER
From the look of him, it probably
requires my secret flask, the one
you are not allowed to drink from!
BEAR
Oh, thank god! Give that to me!
(Sounds of slurping whilst he
drinks the coffee). Ahhhh, I
needed that! I hate you bastards!
I take the beatings whilst you sit
in this warm van, sipping drinks.
I'll bet you even have some
biscuits somewhere!
COBO
Chocolate hob nob for you BEAR!
BEAR
Give me that. (Crunching sounds).
COBO
I can only apologise BEAR, a
slight mis calculation on my part!
I didn't realise those clunk heads
would be so dedicated to
bastardry!
BEAR
Well next time you can take the
punches!
COBO
Sorry BEAR, but I don't really do
that sort of tough guy stuff, I'm
more of the brains behind the
business!
BEAR
Well, you can get someone else to
do the dirty work next time.
You're an evil poet! I'm really
starting to hate all of you!
COBO
Think of the rewards BEAR, with
all the cash you can really do up
your boarding house. Make it real
nice. Maybe nice enough to get a
Duchess!
BEAR
Yeah, it might get too classy for
the likes of you!
TELEPHONE
COBO
Here we go! As predicted! You all
ready then? Background noise on
CROUP please! By the numbers, no
improv OK!
CROUPIER
(Different voice like call centre)
You have called Cavern four
services. This call will be
recorded for quality control
purposes.
DISTANT SWEARING AT
END OF PHONE
COBO
Bencubbin Services, how can we
help?
THUG ONE
We need you to send a crew
immediately.
COBO
Of course madam!
THUG ONE
Its Sir, you moron!
COBO
Of course Sir. What is your
location, you call ID is blocked?
THUG ONE
Retrograde Inn, 126 Valise Street,
Widmanstaten.
COBO
So what is the nature of the
problem?
THUG ONE
Your shitty sewers are stinking up
our casino, that's what!
COBO
I see, what type of stink is it?
THUG ONE
I don't know, its just horrible.
It smells like shit, but worse,
like ripe shit. I want to vomit!
COBO
Well, don't do that Sir, just get
a wet hanky! Put some perfume on
it!
THUG ONE
A wet hanky, what do you think I
am!
COBO
Water and perfume might reduce the
smell Sir!
THUG ONE
Now listen you screaming Nancy
boy, you get your service team
down here right away or my boss
will be visiting your offices with
a physical complaint. I really
don't think you would want that!
COBO
I see, what is wrong with your
boss Sir, we have facilities for
the disabled.
THUG ONE
He's, not disabled you dumb f***
he just has a propensity to
resolve matters face to face!
COBO
Well, we are next to the Police
station so I don't think violence
will work at all Sir! (Pause) I
have identified a work crew near
you location, if you could just
hold whilst I check, their
availability.
COBO signals to CROUPIER to cut mic and play the hold
music.
CROUPIER
MILTON, Do you think he likes the
hold music?
CORP TUNE EXPUNGING
THE DELEIGHTS OF
FRESH WATER
COBO
I doubt it, lets take a listen!
TELEPHONE VOICE OF
SWEARING AND
CURSING
CROUPIER
Really, these thugs nowadays!
COBO
Yes, so uncouth, I blame it on the
lack of education!
GANDER
How long are you going to let him
stew!
COBO
About another five seconds, you
ready to put me back on CROUP.
CROUPIER
Sure, I'll just wait for the
message to finish!
SWEARING
COBO
Really Sir! Please control your
language. Yes sir, please calm
down. I have identified a crew.
They are just finishing another
job (Shouting at other end)
They'll be with you in fifteen
minutes. Thank you sir for your
call. (Call terminates) (laughter)
CROUPIER
How to win friends and influence
people! You sure pissed him off!
COBO
I think I should have gone on the
stage, I could see myself treading
the boards in front of adoring
audiences! (Groans from everyone)
GANDER
Trackamina, just don't invite me
to any of your performances!
COBO
You really are the most
unsupportive! Crew I have ever
had!
GANDER
Just doing my duty as a good
citizen, to protect the public!
COBO
Well I must say that Stinky Pinky
excelled himself this time, he
really is a little shit, but he
lives up to his name!
BEAR
I don 't get it MILTON, why piss
them off?
COBO
Well apart from the pleasure, it
throws them off guard, keeps the
emotional load high, we want them
out of the inn, this builds the
tension.
GANDER
Explosive mix, you mean!
COBO
Into this highly charged mix, we
now add the 'pièce de résistance'!
BEAR
What are you talking about MILTON!
COBO
I push these little buttons, here
and here
BLEEP, BLEEP,
MUFFLED DISTANT
EXPLOSIONS
COBO
If JACINTA and evil sister have
done their work, and being the
pyromaniac's they are, I have no
doubt they will produce an
entertaining light show, for the
good folks of the Bencubbin! The
strong men of the BC fire service
will have some solid training
sessions today, much needed for
their underfunded service! I'm
performing a public good! In
addition all the criminals of the
BC will scurry around wondering
why their business have been set
on fire. Who is to blame?
We just wait until the bees come
out of the hive, and then we
liberate the honey!
DISTANT POPS, MORE
EXPLOSIONS THEN
ALARMS
GANDER
BEAR I have a treat for you! I see
you have polished off the hob
nobs. Try these, they are called
fire crackers, on account of what
they do to you! I got them from
Volcano's. I think you'll like
them, but be careful. They have a
real kick on them.
BEAR
Thank god, I'm starving!
GANDER
Well good, these will pep you up!
BEAR
They sting!
GANDER
Well after the burn wears off they
grow on you!
COBO
Guys, its working, look! Yes! Oh
look, if I'm not mistaken that's
Vincent Gambino. Shit he looks
really pissed!
GANDER
Well, isn't that what you wanted?
COBO
Absolutely!
BEAR
Guys, two teams, over to the left,
coming out of those basement
buildings! I think I counted
around ten of them!
COBO
So there's a connection under the
road. Interesting! That inn is a
rabbit warren!
BEAR
I think that might be the last of
them?
COBO
Could be, they locked the door. So
that's three teams from the inn
and two from that building. Quite
a few wages to carry, just for
security, must be a profitable
casino then!
BEAR
Well, its popular and they have a
happy hour! Where else are the
bums going to go? MOMO won't let
them in!
COBO
BEAR, did you see that truck. The
one that suddenly pulled out and
headed back to the square. I
think that's CIS surveillance.
They're pulling back. Probably
got spooked with all the
disruption across the BC.
GANDER
You don't think that JACINTA and
COSTAS overcooked things do you?
COBO
No, JACINTAS a real professional,
she keeps COSTAS in check. It took
months for JACINTA to stop COSTAS
setting fire to things.
GANDER
Well, you're certainly not helping
with the jobs you're giving them!
COBO
On the contrary! I'm just
relieving the inevitable pressure,
that builds in a young mind and
channelling it on something that
will benefit the Bencubbin!
GANDER
Sure!
COBO
Right team, I believe this is our
cue! Lets go!
ELECTRO ENGINE
START
INT. RETROGRADE VESTUBULE - THE INSPECTION
COBO, CROUP, GANDER & BEAR turn up at the Retrograde,
pretending to be the Utility company repair team. They
get shown down to the Kitchens and advise the mob thug to
stand back due to the toxicity. COBO suggests he goes up
stairs and they will talk via radio. They then paint a
grim picture of a horrible repair which will involve
cutting into the bulkheads and advise that he locks the
doors to prevent poisoning! The Thug total falls for the
ruse and the guys get started on the extraction.
Meanwhile COBO leaves to visit the CIS office to cause
more chaos!
DOOR INTERCOM
COBO
(Putting on rough work class
voice) Hello, ah, good morning, we
received a last minute item on the
job order sheet. Something about
drains.
THUG TWO opens the front door!
THUG TWO
We have a horrible smell coming
from the sewers, we need to you to
fix it pronto.
COBO
We are, we, can't do that sitting
in our van Sir. We need to get in,
our repair equipment is in the
back!
THUG TWO
I'll buzz you in! Park on the
right hand side and I'll come and
get you!
TRUCK SOUNDS AND
ELECTRIC ROLLER
GATE
COBO
(Quietly) You lot get in the back.
Once we are in, open the doors and
get some meters. Walk around at
random scanning things, OK?
GANDER
Got it, look busy and concerned!
METAL DOOR OPEN
THUG TWO
Its not out there, its in the
kitchens!
COBO
We can smell gas, stand back sir!
THUG TWO
Its in here! Coming from through
here! (Metal door opening,
Coughing) Oh that's horrible.
(Reaching sounds).
COBO
Oh, you shouldn't be breathing
that Sir, it smells poisonous! I
suggest you stay back, in the car
park, we'll go in and check. Boys
over here, get the breathing gear!
MEN DONING RUBBER
BREATHING HEAD GEAR
COBO
Right Sir, just stand back. Keep
those scanners running boys!
THUG TWO
(Coughing) I've got no problem
with that!
CROUPIER
I this isn't good Sir. I'm reading
sulphur dioxide with multifarious
carbatonium!
THUG TWO
Is that bad?
COBO
Deadly, careful boys! Stand back
Sir. This is bad, very bad, better
hold your breath! Get that hanky
over the mouth! One big breath and
you be a gonna!
THUG TWO
(Coughing) I think I'm going
upstairs, its not so bad up there!
COBO
Might be advisable sir, just point
the way! Can you give me one of
your radios. I will give you the
blow by blow situation as it
develops! You can stay upstairs in
the safe zone!
THUG TWO
(Coughing worse) OK, take it, go
through this door and then left
into the Kitchens, its worse in
there! (Coughing) Rather you than
me, ohhhh! (Vomiting noises)
BOOTS WALKING DOWN
METAL CORRIDOR THEN
AIRLOCK DOORS.
GANDER
Shit, I can smell it through the
mask.
COBO
I'll smell it in my mind for
months (Changing and talking on
the radio) Were entering the
kitchen Sir, its bad!
SLAMMING OF DOORS
They go down stairs into the kitchen area.
THUG TWO
How bad?
COBO
Hang on Sir, were scanning!
BOOTS METAL
CORRIDOR
CROUPIER
Sir, the monitors are going wild.
I'm showing a red warning light.
BLEEPING LIKE METAL
DETECTOR, THEN
WARNING BLEEPS.
COBO
We've got lights coming on that I
didn't even know existed Sir
CROUPIER
Look at that! (Teeth sucking)Oh my
goodness! That's first class poo
alright! Well ripe too!
THUG TWO
What, what's that, what are you
saying!
COBO
We've got poo Sir, lots of it. Yes
indeed Sir. Looks like we need an
intervention, its not a fat burg.
This is much, much worse it makes
your eyes water!
THUG TWO
Tell me about it. Can you fix it?
COBO
Oh, we can fix it Sir, might take
sometime, probably best if you
lock all the section doors from
the kitchen into the Casino. Keep
the smell contained!
THUG TWO
Yes, yes! That's a good idea, I'll
get right on it.
CROUPIER
(Laughter) MILTON, Don't you just
love it when a plan comes
together!
MORE BLEEPING, THEN
LOUD WARNING
THUG TWO
What's wrong?
COBO
We've started entered the pipe
with the fibre optics
GANDER
(Putting on voice) Oh, Shit Benny,
collapsed pipe!
COBO
Oh dear, looks like we're going to
have to excavate!
THUG TWO
What's that mean? Can you fix it?
COBO
Well, depends on where it is Sir,
and whether we can get to it. So,
lets say, we can get a camera past
the collapse. We can have a look,
if its not too bad, it might be a
simple blockage.
THUG TWO
Excavate, you mean your going to
take up the floors?
COBO
Oh, Sir worse than that, no doubt
about it, we have to cut into a
bulkhead. No problem though we've
got the tools in the van.
THUG ONE
What?
COBO
The bulkhead Sir, very heavy duty,
looks like its going to be a
cutting job! (Teeth suck) I don't
know, what you think FRED
CROUPIER
Oh, yeah definitely. I'll go and
get the gear and the scanners!
TIME PASSING
COBO
I've had a good look Sir. So do
you want the good news or the bad
news!
THUG TWO
Anyway you like!
COBO
Well, the good news is its
definitely blocked and backing up.
The bad news is the pipe behind it
has caved so I can't rod it and it
in the partition space!
THUG TWO
What does that mean?
COBO
FRED here, thinks we have to cut
the bulkheads and then do an
intervention cut to the main
drain, then butt weld a new
section. He is our expert.
CROUPIER
Yeah, no way around it Sir, we are
going to have a cut, here and here
and then extract, could get very
messy and very stinky. Either way
its a big job!
THUG TWO
Well, how long is that going to
take?
COBO
(Teeth sucking) Lets see. If I can
get going straight away, we can
make a start, but its going to
take most of the day. Best lock
down this whole section, you know,
health and safety and all! It'll
keep the stink in as well!
THUG TWO
But what about the customers? The
boss will be livid.
COBO
Sorry Sir, sewerage waits for no
man. I think you should just put a
sign up and close for the day.
THUG TWO
Do we have a choice?
COBO
I don't think you have a choice
Sir, not with this smell. Do you
need the kitchens?
THUG TWO
Of course we need the f***g
kitchens its a f*** casino!
COBO
Well, not today Sir! Of course if
you don't want us to fix it, we
can be on our way?
THUG TWO
No, No! Fix it! If you don't the
boss will kill me!
COBO
Hard man to work for then Sir?
THUG TWO
Yes of course, what the f**, where
do I sign!
COBO
I'll come up with the paperwork
Sir, the boys will get started
immediately. Come on FRED lets get
to it, we've got work to do.
(Laughter, change of voice) And
that gentlemen is how you do a
shit intervention! (Laughter)
CROUPIER, GANDER & BEAR exit the Retrograde kitchens via
the service entrance and walk to the van.
SWING DOORS THEN
RETRO AIRLOCK AND
OUTSIDE BC SOUNDS
BEAR
Transection and extraction
(Laughter) Good one, what are you
a f** surgeon!
CROUPIER
Well, I thought it sounded
professional!
GANDER
Oh, yes very, (laughter) you could
cut the smell with a knife
(laughter)
CROUPIER
Bit over done, then?
BEAR
Just a little, but I loved it
CROUP, he went for it, hook line
and stinker!
CROUPIER
(Laughter) We make a good 'shit
team', those boxes with the
bleepers, genius!
TIME PASSING
COBO
We have a signature. I'm coming
down
GANDER
So you going to join us in our
plasma arc cutting?
COBO
Eventually. Now you lot get
started I have to visit the local
CIS liaison office at Widmanstaten
to sow more confusion and chaos!
CROUPIER
What, your walking into the cops?
GANDER
I don't get it!
COBO
Its all part of the con dear boy,
an essential part in fact. I need
to be seen in the right places.
JACINTA just signalled that our
lovely VINCENT is in there
complaining that his business are
being targeted. Don't worry,
I'll be out in a jiffy! Then I
have to loose the inevitable
tails, get back in disguise and at
that point I can assist. I'll join
you as soon as I can.
CROUPIER
Your not shirking the hard work
are you MILTON?
COBO
No of course not, you'll see its
not something I can avoid. Its
essential to our future well
being.
CROUPIER
Well don't be too long, we have a
shit load of plasma work, and
these bulkheads don't cut easily.
We'll need to grab the loot well
before the rats return to their
nest.
COBO
I understand but, I have to do
this, its all part of our exit
strategy! Its one thing to steal
the gems, its another thing to
survive to enjoy the proceeds!
END