Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
G01-E07 - Wheel of Fortune
A large pile of diamonds are a beautiful sight, but turning them into cold hard cash and staying alive is another!
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
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G01-E07 - WHEEL OF FORTUNE
SUMMARY
Storyline is about the arrival in New London of GANDER
(DAVID Kosciolek) age 33 on the 6th of May 2052 (23 years
before the main Angel and May series) and the slow climb
up the slippery pole of power in the Bencubbin. This
first instalment details the time up to his/her purchase
of the Retrograde Inn from the Bencubbin Mafia.
Vincent and his henchman are visiting the police station
in Widmanstaten square to complain about the damage
across the Bencubbin to their properties and to chivvy up
more action from the lazy cops, whom he is paying for
protection. Whilst he is there his henchman sees COBO go
into a room. He later learns that two CIS officers were
in the room as well.
Meanwhile back at the inn, the guys are preparing to
lance through the bulkheads. BEAR, CROUPIER and GANDER
are moving equipment away from the wall. CROUPIER then
measures and marks with a spray a square door shaped
outline on the wall. COBO reappears and scares the
bejeezus out of them.
GANDER is pretending to cue for a coffee at a vendor.
She radios and warns COBO that all the thugs are
returning. VINCENT returns in a very bad mood. Down in
the kitchens the guys find the biscuit tin with the
diamonds in it. They carefully extract it and take a look
inside. The diamonds are there, lots of them. They
spread them on the table in amazement! Finally COBO
gathers them up they repair the bulkhead wall and they
return to the van and head home.
Back at BEAR's the team contemplate what to do next.
CROUPIER makes the point that they really have no choice
but to give them back otherwise they are definitely all
dead men. COBO says that if the mafia decide to give
some of the jewels back that they split them evenly.
Everyone think he is mad!
VINCENT is nursing a gin & tonic after a stressful day.
He issues instructions to his men. BUNNY arrives and is
shown in to discuss the fencing of the soon to be
returned diamonds. TIMEPASSES. VINCENT receives some
very useful information and BUNNY leaves.
COBO, BEAR and CROUPIER enter the Retrograde small bar,
whilst VINCENT and thugs look on with mixed expressions.
COBO put the bags of diamonds on the desk, whilst VINCENT
strangely refuses to even look at them or pick them up.
COBO pretends to be confused, whilst the others are
genuinely confused.
VINCENT even denies ever meeting COBO or CROUPIER before
and states he has no idea who they are or why they are
here. He states that they should leave immediately and
take the diamonds with them! Which they do.
INT. WIDMANSTATEN SQUARE POLICE STATION - GREASING PALMS
VINCENT and his henchman are visiting the police station
in Widmanstaten square, to complain about the damage
across the Bencubbin to their properties, and to chivvy
up more action from the lazy cops. Whilst he is there his
henchman sees COBO go into a room. He later learns that
two CIS officers were in the room as well.
THUG TWO
You're not going to believe this
boss.
VINCENT
Will you shut up you tick, can't
you see I'm busy! (Desk Bell
multiple rings) Come on, don't you
have any service around here!
DESK COP 1
Stop banging that be... oh hello
Mr Gambino, sorry about that.
VINCENT
Yes well, lets have a little more
attentiveness next time! Now
what's happening about these
fires?
THUG TWO
Boss, boss!
VINCENT
Will you shut up! (slap) Ahh,
sorry officer, my "colleague" gets
very worked up. So what can you
tell me about these explosions,
they appear to be smoke bombs?
DESK COP 1
Yes Mr Gambino, lots of smoke,
lots of noise but no real damage.
VINCENT
I see! Now listen carefully, you
tell your boss, to pull his arse
out of his office and start
patrolling the BC. These criminals
are getting out of control.
DESK COP 1
Ah excuse me Mr Gambino, Sir, but
isn't that your area..
VINCENT
How dare you! You swivel eyed pip
squeak. I'll have you rubbed out
if you talk to me like that again.
You need to understand who runs
this place!
DESK COP 1
Sorry Sir! I'll pass on the
message! We don't want any trouble
in this precinct. It might be best
if you just leave the building now
sir. (Whispered) Sorry, Mr
Gambino, we think the Sargent is
being watched by the CIS. The
spooks have been all over us this
week. We have no idea why! There
are two of those bastards in that
office, at this very moment!
VINCENT
(Whispered) Oh, shit! (Louder) Ah,
OK! Thank you Officer, I'm sure
you'll find the family pet soon!
(Whispered), tell your boss, to
sharpen up otherwise I'll pull
some strings and he'll be working
at a car wash before the weeks
out!
DESK COP 1
Thank you Sir, I'll make sure he
gets the message.
VINCENT
Make sure he does, other wise
you'll be joining him!
DESK COP 1
Ahem, of course.
VINCENT
Right then, scurry along like the
little insect you are. I have to
talk to my colleague, in private.
(Turns to THUG TWO) What, the f***
can't you shut up whilst I am
conducting business?
THUG TWO
Boss, I think I saw that Milton
COBO fellow, he went into the
office with the CIS spooks.
VINCENT
Did he now! How very interesting.
Of his own free will, not under
any coercion?
THUG TWO
No he just walked straight in, he
didn't even knock. He was in there
for at least five minutes.
VINCENT
You sure he wasn't being arrested?
THUG TWO
No, he was as cool as a cucumber.
Looked like he knew the place and
had been here before.
VINCENT
Really! Finally you have delivered
some useful information!
INT. WIDMANSTATEN SQUARE POLICE STATION - FINDING CHOO
CHOO!
COBO waits outside the Widmanstaten Square Police Station
until he sees Vincent and his Henchman enter. He then
goes in and makes sure he is seen without by the henchman
without looking at him. He picks a random room to enter.
By chance it has two spooks from the CIS sitting at a
desk looking at a pad showing surveillance pictures. The
aim is to simply waste some time before being ejected.
COBO
Now let me see, oh, here we are!
DOOR WOOD OPEN
CIS SPOOK TWO
We go in here and .. oh
COBO
Excuse me gentlemen, I want to
file a missing animal report.
CIS SPOOK ONE
Do we look like police officers?
COBO
You're in a room, at the police
station, why wouldn't you be
police officers.
CIS SPOOK ONE
Look you need to go out to the
front desk, we have more important
matters to attend to.
COBO
How dare you, my Maltese, is like
a brother to me! Now look lively I
have just about had enough of you
lazy cops. I give money to the
ruling party every year, and that
means you work for me.
CIS SPOOK TWO
Sir, calm down, you need to go to
the front desk, like my colleague
suggests, we are not the 'missing
pets squad'
COBO
I don't believe you, what are you
doing in this room?
CIS SPOOK TWO
Sir, what are you doing in this
room?
COBO
Oh, you're just copying me now are
you? Mocking a member of the
public.
CIS SPOOK TWO
No really Sir, how did you get
past the front desk, this is a
private area of the station?
COBO
I just walked in, the front desk
Cop was not there!
CIS SPOOK TWO
So, you have been walking around
the station, unaccompanied?
COBO
Yes of course, why not?
CIS SPOOK TWO
I believe that might be an
offence.
COBO
How dare you, insinuate I am some
sort of criminal, what are you
suggesting, that I am some sort of
con man, trying to get into a
police station?
CIS SPOOK TWO
Well, you must admit that it is
strange.
COBO
I just come here to report my
beloved 'Choo-choo' Maltese and
now you're trying to arrest me!
(Spluttering) How dare you, of all
the rude, contemptable, useless,
swivel-eyed, public servants you
must be the worst!
CIS SPOOK ONE
Look you crazy f** piss off out of
here and go to the front desk.
COBO
(Spluttering) I, you evil bastard!
What is your badge number you
corrupt copper. You look kind of
sleazy!
CIS SPOOK ONE
(Standing Up) That's it! I'm going
to show you what happens if you
mess with the security..
CIS SPOOK TWO
Number one, hold on! Sir please
calm down, sorry about my
colleague. Please excuse him, its
been a long day. The nice police
officer at the front desk will
take down all the details and
dispatch an officer immediately on
the case. They will get your
(pause) "choo-choo" back!
COBO
Well, OK then, that's better!
That's sounds like a plan! Good
day to you Sirs!
CIS SPOOK TWO
(Turning to his colleague) You sit
down, I always thought you had a
loose trigger finger, you need to
calm the f*** down.
INT. RETROGRADE KITCHENS - THE BIG CUT
Meanwhile back at the inn, the guys are preparing to
lance through the bulkheads. BEAR, CROUPIER and GANDER
are moving equipment away from the wall. CROUPIER then
measures and marks with a spray a square door shaped
outline on the wall. COBO reappears and scares the be
Jesus out of them.
BEAR
This is it CROUP. We cut around
this mark with the burning bar and
then peel it back. Its thick
plate because this is the edge of
the service shaft. Its not going
to be quick or easy. We take
twenty minute shifts. Watch for
the fumes. Try not to destroy the
diamonds with the lance.
GANDER
Why have you put a big X in the
middle?
CROUPIER
Just traditional, for good luck!
You know X always marks the spot.
BEAR how many bars do we have.
BEAR
Ten, which bye the way, is a
ridiculous amount. I suggest you
pop a small hole first and I then
we scope.
CROUPIER
Makes sense, do we need the
articulating probe?
BEAR
Of course, that's the only one we
have! Only the best for the A
team. Could save cutting time.
CROUPIER
Nice.
GANDER
When you two have quite finished,
can we get on with this! Its like
being at a safe crackers
convention!
CROUPIER
We are safe crackers. All
professionals, and we need quality
tools!
BEAR
Well don't break anything, the
fellow I borrowed it off has a
nasty sense of humour! I've
rigged the bar exhaust to go into
the under service area, that might
help with the fumes!
CROUPIER
You think?
BEAR
No not really, plasma and that
chemical smell, its all bad!
CROUPIER
Well its a good thing I brought
these charcoal filters then. Just
stick these up your nose. I will
take the first shift. GANDER do us
all a favour, pop some of this
lock-tight into the door on this
floor and be generous. It will
slow down any unwanted incursions.
Oh, and before you close the door
put out those danger signs.
BEAR
(Laugh) What do they say?
Dangerous fart smell, might kill!
CROUPIER
No they just say caution, gas
monitors and breathing equipment
required!
BEAR
Doesn't sound that bad!
CROUPIER
Yeah, but they don't have masks or
breathing gear, do they! They
will stay away for sure! Best to
under state, makes us seem
professional! (Pause) BEAR how
many jobs have we done? Is this
the tenth?
BEAR
Sounds about right!
CROUPIER
Well I was thinking about it, we
should count this as still the
ninth! Sorry about the general
cock up on this job!
BEAR
That's all right, shit happens.
Just bad luck. Right lets get
going, lets finish this!
THERMIC LANCE AND
STEEL CUTTING
TIME PASSING
THERMIC LANCE AND
STEEL CUTTING
GANDER
Is it just me or, or are these
filters starting to let the stench
in?
CROUPIER
The stench wins out! I think we
all need a breather. I'll get the
coffee flask.
BEAR
I have some sandwiches from that
place across the road.
GANDER
You're joking, aren't you? You
can't eat in here with this smell!
BEAR
No you idiot we're going to the
van!
GANDER
Oh, thank f*** my stomach was
start to clench. Besides my arms
are killing me!
CROUPIER
Hay you, who's that! Who's there?
Come on out!
COBO
Booo!
GANDER
Arghhh!
COBO
Ohh, that hurt! Relax, its only
me!
GANDER
You bastard, we could have killed
you!
COBO
(Laughing) What with that
endoscope thing! I see you're
about to take a break! Good idea,
after all, I wouldn't want you to
over exert yourselves.
BEAR
Do you want me to clock him CROUP.
CROUPIER
Might be an idea, I really want to
remove that insufferable smile.
COBO
(Laughter) Guys, come on, I'm
winding you up. Look I'll take the
lance and finish off. (Pause) Oh,
you've done some good work here!
Looks like we're nearly done.
Shit, that bulkhead is bloody
thick, its like a battleship.
GANDER
Yes we know. Some of us have been
trying to cut it for the last
hour! We only have one stick left.
What took you so long?
COBO
Well, those CIS lot are all swivel
eyed. They have evil suspicious
minds and they kept asking more
and more questions. It took all
my skills as a story teller to
extract myself after I told them
about my lost Choo-Choo!
GANDER
What are you on about?
COBO
I just needed to stay in a certain
room for five minutes.
Unfortunately these two CIS types
were in there. They want to chuck
me out immediately but I need to
stay until our friend VINCENT left
the station.
GANDER
I really don't understand!
COBO
You will eventually!
GANDER
Why?
COBO
Never you mind! Now run along
children, take your break and let
me do some cutting. I haven't done
a good lancing in years. This
takes me back to my youth.
TIME PASSING
COBO
I'm through guys, finally.
LAUGHING AND
CLAPPING
BEAR
MILTON, one question? How the
hell are we going to move the cut
section, it must weigh a ton.
COBO
If you cast your eyes across the
car park, you will see I have
liberated a small fork lift. We
have high strength magnetic clamps
and some chains. The rest is
physics!
CROUPIER
OK, if you say so!
COBO
I do say so my friend. OK then off
you go, fetch it over, lets get to
it! DAVID can you do me a favour
get rid of the overalls, and nip
outside to street level, we need a
watch out. Take this ear piece
radio, and what ever you do don't
touch your ear, its a dead give
away, just speak, it will know
when to transmit to me!
INT. RETROGRADE CONCOURSE - SPARKLERS
GANDER is pretending to que for a coffee at a vendor
stall. She radios and warns COBO that all the thugs are
returning. VINCENT returns in a very bad mood. Down in
the kitchens the guys find the biscuit tin with the
diamonds in it. They carefully extract it and take a look
inside. The diamonds are there, lots of them. They
spread them on the table in amazement! Finally COBO
gathers them up they repair the bulkhead wall and they
return to the van and head home.
GANDER
MILTON, come in?
COBO
Yes, what's up?
GANDER
VINCENT and his two minders are
back. They are about to go into
the inn. He looks really, really
pissed off. Had an argument with
one of his henchmen. You better
hurry!
COBO
Roger that, working on it. (Turns
to crew) Guys wakeup, the troops
are back, time to go. CROUP what
are we looking for?
CROUPIER
Its in an old coffee tin.
BEAR
CROUP there is nothing in the wall
section.
CROUPIER
Your wrong it must be there. Shit!
Has it fallen down?
BEAR
Not seeing it. (Sounds of
manipulation) Oh! Yes, I see it
its wedged behind a separator
Give me the no 2 grapple.
COBO
Be careful if you dislodge it, it
might fall further and we will
never get it.
BEAR
Might be an idea to swap out for a
mag tip.
COBO
OK. Mag tip on (Pause) here!
BEAR
Going to reach down and... its on.
(Laughter) It's heavy, trying to
fall off. Hang on, CROUP get in
here with the No 1 and grab it
while I turn it!
CROUPIER
OK, OK, yes! Got it! I'm
extracting.
BEAR
Careful!
CROUPIER
Yes, yes, OK I've got it, lets
take a look!
COBO
Great Scott. Shit CROUP, how many
sparklers did you nick, its heavy!
Lets take a look just in case.
CROUPIER
In case of what?
COBO
I don't know, perhaps they are not
there!
CROUPIER
Bloody hell, my hands are shaking!
COBO
Yes, we can see!
TIN OPENING THEN
BAG FALLS OUT, THEN
ANOTHER.
BEAR
Oh, Shit! Shit, there a cubic shit
ton, look five bags. (laughter)
CROUPIER
Boys feast your eyes on these.
DIAMONDS ON TABLE
COBO
(Breath out) Oh now that's a sight
for sore eyes!
CROUPIER
Oh lord, whatever I've done, don't
strike me blind for the next
couple of minutes!
GANDER
(Radio) Guys what the hell are you
doing? There's more of them
arriving all the time!
COBO
Roger, hold position.
BEAR
Those sure are pretty!
COBO
OK enough, pack um up! The troops
are upstairs and are massing, lets
look at these babies back at base
camp! First we have to get that
bulkhead repaired, we can't give a
clue as to what we've done.
BEAR
So we replace the cut section and
weld up?
COBO
Yeah that's the plan. Spot Weld,
Chuck in a load of filler, smooth
out, spray and then exit stage
left as quick as possible!
TIMEPASSING
COBO
I think that will do, the filler
really works wonders. OK BEAR get
some spray action going, then we
are out of here!
RUNNING FEET.
GANDER
Oh my God, about time. Did we get
them.
COBO
(slightly out of breath) Yes we
got them, we really got them
DAVID. Now lets go home!
INT. BLACK BEARS - ROOM 3-15 - DECISIONS
Back at BEAR's the team contemplate what to do next.
CROUPIER makes the point that they really have no choice
but to give them back otherwise they are definitely all
dead men. COBO says that if the mafia decide to give
some of the jewels back that they split them evenly.
Everyone think he is mad!
BEAR
So what now?
COBO
Hmmm! (Making tea) What do you say
CROUP, cut and run or give them
back?
BEAR
(Chomping on biscuits) What,
MILTON, are you taking the Micky?
No way? These digestives are
really good!
CROUPIER
Can't cut and run can I! They
know you're all involved, so even
if they can't do me, they can get
you! I just can't inflict that on
you and your mates. (Sigh) Sorry
guys! We have no choice, we have
to give them back.
COBO
I'll tell you what, if say, the
mob give us some for our troubles,
we split them, fair and square!
CROUPIER
Yeah, because that's really going
to happen isn't it?
COBO
Well, stranger things have
happened CROUP. Don't be negative,
you might end up like DAVID.
GANDER
I'm not negative, just realistic!
COBO
Realistic, Negative, Whatever!
Now I need CROUP to get his best
suit on and look clean and
relaxed. Whilst I need to polish
my shoes again!
GANDER
What's with those shoes, you don't
have a fetish do you!
COBO
I do actually, its a fetish to
stay alive and in one piece!
GANDER
Well, excuse me I need to get some
spit together, to help you with
you shoes!
COBO
No need for that DAVID. Now, I
just need you to pop this pin in
my lapel.
GANDER
You know I've got to the point
where I'm not even going ask any
more. So which lapel right or
left?
COBO
The right I think!
GANDER
Really!
CROUPIER
Sorry MILTON I have to ask, what's
with those bloody shoes, they are
like a mirror. You'll wear the
leather off!
COBO
The power of auto suggestion
CROUP. You'll see!
GANDER
CROUP by now I though you would
know better than to ask sensible
questions?
INT. RETROGRADE SMALL BAR - THE TALE PART 1
VINCENT is nursing a gin & tonic after a stressful day.
He issue instructions to his men. BUNNY arrives and is
shown in to discuss the fencing of the soon to be
returned diamonds. TIMEPASSES. VINCENT receives some
very useful information and BUNNY leaves.
VINCENT
Thank you Morton. (Talking to Thug
Two). Ahhh, long day(sniffing)
Are you sure those sewers are
fixed? There is still a vague
whiff in here. Did you get the
plumbers?
THUG TWO
Yes boss, MIKE had them plumbers
in, there've been down in the
kitchens all day, had to do some
serious work!
VINCENT
How much did that cost?
THUG TWO
We haven't seen the bill yet, they
said it may be covered under the
city 'hygiene sewer repair' fund,
and we will pay nothing!
VINCENT
Well, I hope the hell we don't end
up paying for their lousy pipes!
THUG TWO
Yes boss. The smell is slowly
going down boss.
VINCENT
Well, get some more air scrubbers,
hire them in if you have to! We
need to get those kitchens back on
line, and we won't have customers
if it smells like this tonight!
THUG TWO
Yes boss.
VINCENT
Also find out who planted those
smoke bombs, and let me know. We
need to sort them out! We can't
been seen to be weak.
I don't want obvious killings
though, the CIS are lurking, we've
seen them down at the cop shop!
THUG TWO
Yes boss of course, I'll get on
it. Sorry to disturb you, but
you have a visitor.
VINCENT
Who?
THUG TWO
It's that Bunny Winkle fellow, he
says he needs to see you! You
asked him to pop in about fencing
some diamonds.
VINCENT
Oh yes, that reminds me! When are
those thieves coming to drop them
off?
THUG TWO
They said in a couple of hours.
VINCENT
Good, good, this should bring in
some much need cash. OK let him
in.
TIMEPASSING FADING
TO DRINKS WITH ICE
VINCENT
I see, well thank you, for the
information, that was most
enlightening BUNNY, I appreciate
the heads up.
BUNNY
All part of the service Mr
Gambino, a pleasure!
INT. RETROGRADE SMALL BAR - SPARKLERS
COBO and CROUPIER enter the Retrograde small bar, whilst
VINCENT and thugs look on with mixed expressions.
COBO put the bags of diamonds on the desk, whilst VINCENT
strangely refuses to even look at them or pick them up.
COBO pretends to be confused, whilst the others are
genuinely confused.
VINCENT even deny's ever meeting COBO or CROUPIER before
and states he has no idea who they are or why they are
here. He states that they should leave immediately and
take the diamonds with them! Which they do.
VINCENT
That's nice, you brought Mr
CROUPIER! To what exactly do I owe
this pleasure.
DIAMONDS IN POUCH
PLACED ON DESK
CROUPIER
Ah, hello Mr Gambino, I'm very
sorry for any mis-understanding,
and I apologies for any
inconvenience.
VINCENT
I've really no idea what you are
talking about?
CROUPIER
Ah, the diamonds that I
accidentally nicked, ah you know,
stole from you! From the Banco de
Sicilia.
COBO
Mr Gambino, I don't understand,
here they are, all of them, the
Diamonds. As promised. You can
check them, five bags!
VINCENT
Diamonds? (Talking to thugs) Any
of you have an idea what these
guys are talking about?
THUG TWO
No Boss!
COBO
But, we spoke two days ago!
(Pretending to be confused) You
threatened this guy because he
stole them from you? The Diamonds
from the bank vault!
VINCENT
I've have never seen this man
before in my life and as for
Diamonds I have only one on my
pinky ring, see, and its not in
any Banco du Sicilia.
COBO and CROUPIER look at each other in confusion!
VINCENT moves up close to the pin on COBOs jacket and
speaks as if into a microphone.
VINCENT
Let me look at your suit Mr COBO,
nice lapel. (Rubbing of suit) I'm
simply a respectable business man!
(Pause) Now I'm going to ask you
to leave my premises before I call
my lawyer!
COBO
Well, what about the diamonds?
VINCENT
Are you deaf, or just stupid.
Those diamonds are nothing to do
with me. Now take them, dump
them, eat them for all I care.
COBO
Ah, OK then, come on CROUP, lets
get out of here.
The party leaves.
VINCENT
(To his thugs) What does he think
am I, stupid?
END
