Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
G02-E04 - Three of Wands
Hubble bubble, this could be trouble as David becomes a witch!
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THE TAROT INTERVENTION - G02-E04-THREE OF WANDS
A younger MOMO assists her daughter, RUDI, together with
GANDER-DAVID in starting their soup carts business.
The Three of Wands depicts a man in red and green robes
standing on a cliff with his back turned. Three wands
stand firmly planted in the ground, reflecting his
commitment to his plans. He has left the comfort of the
castle in the Two of Wands and is now in a vast open
space, looking out over the sea to distant mountains. He
watches three sailing ships pass by, symbolic of movement
and progression. From his high vantage point, he can see
all that lies ahead, including any upcoming challenges
and opportunities.
INT. MOMO'S BOUDOIR - PRIVATE PARLOUR - THE
DISGUISE
(GANDER-DAVID, GANDER-ETTEILLA, JACINTA, MILTON COBO, MOMO,
RUDI)
This scene is where GANDER-DAVID first tries on her
costume and meets JACINTA in her exoskeleton. JACINTA has
a bit of a blow up and this provides the opportunity to
make her more human and venerable.
Nestled within the heart of an the Bencubbin is the
standout of a fake Victorian-era mansion, MOMO's boudoir
stands as a sanctuary of serenity and sensuality. As you
step into this intimate chamber, the world beyond seems
to fade away, replaced by an aura of discreet luxury and
romantic allure.
At the top of an elegant stair well is a private room
which is part of MOMO's apartment.
The walls are adorned with a delicate floral-patterned
wallpaper. Heavy drapes in rich velvet, the colour of
crushed raspberries, frame the fake windows, filtering
the LED lights into a soft, diffused radiance.
A large, ornate gilded mirror graces one wall, its
intricate frame adding a touch of opulence to the room.
This is the focal point of the boudoir, where one can
primp and preen in the soft, flattering light it
provides.
The centrepiece of the room is an antique vanity table,
its smooth surface adorned with crystal perfume bottles,
vintage brushes with ornate handles, and a selection of
cosmetics displayed like precious jewels. A soft
cushioned stool invites you to take a seat and indulge in
a moment of self-care.
A chaise lounge draped in sumptuous silk and adorned with
plush throw pillows beckons from a corner of the room.
It's the perfect spot to recline and lose yourself in the
pages of a beloved novel or to simply savour a glass of
champagne as you luxuriate in the room's opulent
ambiance.
This boudoir is a cocoon of comfort and self-indulgence,
a place where one can escape from the world and embrace
the finer things in life.
RUDI and MOMO are standing in MOMO's private parlour
looking on at GANDER-DAVID in makeup.
MOMO
My dear, I must say, your choice
of stage makeup is positively...
err... audacious!"
GANDER-DAVID
It does add a certain je ne sais
quoi to our little enterprise I
must say!
MOMO
Indeed, 'je ne sais quoi' is one
way to put it. But I can't help,
but feel, that even a ghostly
apparition, might take offence at
this ghoulish transformation!
GANDER-DAVID
I believe that's the general idea!
MOMO
Well, my dear, I must confess, if
the goal is to strike fear into
the hearts of our unsuspecting
marks, you've certainly succeeded.
RUDI
DAVID, come in to the light, I
can't see you properly!
RUDI is suddenly taken aback as GANDER-ETTEILLA smiles
RUDI
Holy crap, that's ugly! I've seen
trees in the Dirkson that were
more attractive! Let's hope the
performance isn't as wooden!
GANDER-DAVID
Very funny, ho, ho!
MOMO
(Chuckles) She probably has a
broom stick in her wardrobe! Now
remember DAVID, you have to have
the right state of mind. As you
well know, powerful people do not
apologise, that is what you have
to project. Unfortunately VINCENT
is someone who will sense any
weakness or cow towing, and he
will take mean advantage of you,
he is a bully!
GANDER-DAVID
Thank you MOMO, helpful direction,
I will bare it in mind!
RUDI
We do our best don't we MOMO!
GANDER-DAVID
Tchyo za ga`lima! {I have a
feeling this may fall apart} I
feel like a concrete Geisha! This
face is going to crack and fall
off.
MOMO
We don't want that, but, we need
you to look old, Macbeth old, like
a witch! Otherwise our mark will
not believe in you!
GANDER-DAVID
MOMO! You mentioned the Scottish
play, you mustn't do that! MILTON
did the same, that's double bad
luck?
MOMO
Only when on stage dear, this is a
confidence trick, the rules aren't
the same. If fate slips a lead
pipe into his boxing glove, then
so be it, you'll just have to take
the punch!
GANDER-ETTEILLA
(Dramatic witchy voice) "Fair is
foul, and foul is fair. Hover
through the fog and filthy air"
GANDER-DAVID runs about, waving his arms
RUDI
MOMO, she's (pause) actually
almost convincing, do you think
she might takeoff and fly around
the room?
MOMO
(Laugh) Possibly!
RUDI
Too much crow, not enough
ETTEILLA! Less flapping DAVID.
GANDER-ETTEILLA
I'm trying to fly out of here, and
I don't have my broom!
RUDI
Funny, but I'm not laughing! Hows
the face holding up?
GANDER-DAVID
(Slightly out of breath) Nothing
like a work out! These age lines
itch like fudge. I'll go mad
before I can deliver a single
line! What I want to know, is how
the hell will you get them the
same each time?
RUDI
Oh, thats easy, it's going to stay
on for the few weeks. I have a
support frame for your head so you
can sleep without damaging the
rubber.
GANDER-DAVID
Sooka sin {Son of a bitch} You got
to be kidding!
RUDI
(Laughing) Sweet, look at you,
your eyes were darting around!
Relax I am kidding! We're going
scan what we have now, and then
three D print a mask each time we
need it.
MOMO
Technology dear, its a wonderful
thing! We need you to be
consistently ugly, otherwise
VINCENT will see through the
disguise. Let me get closer. Yes
beautiful work RUDI, she's like an
old tree trunk, and the glue is
holding!
GANDER-DAVID
But...
MOMO
No buts, DAVID, you need to sink
into the role, any mistakes and
you'll be out of a lock, this
really is Shakespearean! It is the
Mafia after all! You don't want to
be a Beloruchka
GANDER-DAVID
Don't you tell me I don't know how
to cook or clean! I clean very
well thank you, I'm totally house
trained!
RUDI
(Laughter) Look on the bright
side, you'll be famous, everyone
will know you! Your face is going
to be plastered on billboards
twenty meters high. You'll
definitely make a mark. (laughter)
GANDER-DAVID
I hate this face! I look like a
Zalupoglazaya mondavushka {Slut
with pee hole eyes} and even worse
one thats a hundred years old!
RUDI
It's not your face anymore, its
the great ETTEILLA and her
assistant ELIPAS!
GANDER-DAVID
It's bad enough having this
plastered all over the Bencubbin,
but what about JACINTA, people
know her.
RUDI
Have you seen her disguise?
GANDER-DAVID
No! (Pause as a smile comes on
face) So have you done her up as
well, please say yes?
RUDI
Yes, and no, well not exactly!
GANDER-DAVID
I knew it, you've got it in for
me. Give JACINTA the easy part of
the gig because she's one of your
warren buddies! That's
discrimination!
RUDI
MOMO why do all Earthworms whine
so much! No, there is no special
treatment, you dolt! JACINTA has
an even worse disguise than you!
The story is that she has been a
very bad girl, which of course is
generally true in the real world!
Her character, however she has
also broken all sorts of nasty
cartomancer guild rules, and is
being punished by forced indenture
as your assistant. A delightful
convergence of the real and
imagined worlds don't you think!
GANDER-DAVID
Cartomancer Guild, indenture? She
won't like that! (Pause) So RUDI,
you're saying she's actually my
indentured slave?
RUDI
That's the gist of it!
DOOR SWINGS OPEN CLANKING OF EXO-SKELETON
JACINTA stomps through the door crashing it open and
shouting back at MILTON.
JACINTA
(Shouted) I hate you, you
bastards!
MILTON COBO
Hold on, slow down, you'll blow
the battery!
JACINTA
(Shouted) I'm no ones slave! Get
out of my way.
SERVOS STRAINING AS THEY MOVE THE HEAVY SUIT
JACINTA stomps out of the door and then tries to
negotiate the stairs
JACINTA
Fuck! Fuck! Come on move the foot,
ohhhh shit!
METALLIC CRASH AS SOMETHING FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS.
MOMO
I told you she wouldn't like her
role!
MILTON COBO
Yes, but she's the only one the
skeleton fits, plus she can fight!
MILTON goes down the stairs to find JACINTA at the bottom
sobbing
MILTON COBO
You OK, do you need help?
JACINTA
Fuck off, it's your fault! This is
so fragging demeaning.
MOMO comes down the stairs.
MOMO
Everything alright?
JACINTA
MOMO he's got me as a slave, I
don't want to be the slave of that
fucking Earthworm.
MOMO
JACINTA calm down, look at the
Earthworm, she has all this weird
makeup on, its just part of the
role. Its actually a compliment.
Do you think MILTON would give you
such a crucial role, if he didn't
respect you.
JACINTA
But I have to work with the
fucking Earthworm!
MOMO
Now you're just being prejudiced!
Don't be stupid, DAVID is one of
us now. I tell you he will never
go back to Earth, his path is in
the Bencubbin! It might be smart
to make up and be friends, I think
he is going to make his mark on
this habitat!
JACINTA
But I don't want to play nice!
MOMO
We all have to do things we don't
want to do, JACINTA, grow up, stop
being such a child! Now come on
give me your hand.
JACINTA reaches out and MOMO pulls her up. MILTON takes
the other arm and they ascend the stairs and reapear in
the parlour.
GANDER-DAVID moves closer to RUDI
GANDER-DAVID
(Quietly to RUDI) Is she all
right? Do we need medical?
RUDI
No, its just a tantrum, JACINTA is
carrying baggage, just give it a
moment. MOMO will calm her down,
she's like her second Mum really.
GANDER-DAVID
Who's the first Mum?
RUDI
Me you idiot!
GANDER-DAVID
But you not old enough?
RUDI
Thank you, but I mean "Warren
Mum", not biologic!
GANDER-DAVID
How did we yebát' {Fuck} space so
badley to have orphans, can't we
do anything right?
RUDI
You know the answer to that!
GANDER-DAVID
Is this going to work RUDI? Seems
a bit of a stretch!
RUDI
Give it time, let her calm down.
Try not to rub her up the wrong
way. She gets like this, she had a
hard childhood.
GANDER-DAVID
I'll bet, and I'm sympathetic, I
really am, but that's not going to
make for a convincing performance
in front of the mafia? If she goes
off piste, we'll all be out a
lock, faster than you can say
spaghetti!
RUDI
That's why we are going to
practice! Work out the wrinkles
before we go in. Word of advice,
say you heard she has an ant farm,
go see it. Sit down with her and
make her your friend, not your
enemy. You do that and she will go
to the ends of the habitat for
you! (Pause raised voice) You OK
over there?
JACINTA is huddled at the door and is quietly sobbing
JACINTA
You can fudge off RUDI, I don't
want to do this stupid play act,
it's embarrassing, and in front of
the Earthworm! (tears)
RUDI goes over to comfort JACINTA
RUDI
Look, he's not happy either, its
all an act, no one will think any
less of you. JACINTA come on, why
don't you give him the time of
day, for me. He is, actually a
good egg, once you get to know
him. He is on your side. I recon
if you pull this one off, they
talk about this for years in the
warrens! Think about that!
JACINTA
Really, you think so.
RUDI
Oh yeah, its big! The Warren kid,
who took down the GAMBINO's, the
largest crime syndicate in New
London. Sounds good doesn't it!
Come on, don't let our side down.
INT. MOMO'S BOUDOIR - PRIVATE PARLOUR - LEARNING
THE ROLES
In this scene JACINTA and GANDER-DAVID First start to
role play their interactions as ELIPAS and ETTEILLA
JACINTA gets up and walks over with much whirring and
clanking to glare at GANDER-DAVID and then is surprised
at his appearance.
JACINTA
Holy shit! Your face, it's so
ugly, looks like the inside of a
cement mixer!
GANDER-DAVID
Why thank you, (Whispered). How do
I pronounce this?
RUDI
(Whsipered) ELIPAS! Didn't you
read the brief.
GANDER-DAVID
What brief?
RUDI
Oh, crap, that useless shoe
salesman, I'll kill him! (shouts
over the room) MILTON, why has
DAVID not seen the brief!
MILTON COBO
Sorry I didn't make enough copies!
GANDER-DAVID
Jeez, is he already senile?
RUDI
Probably, it's the booze! OK we'll
have to wing it, try and keep up
GANDER-DAVID
Great, thanks! EL-I-PAS (speaks
slowly around the unfamiliar word)
RUDI
JACINTA thats you!
JACINTA
What!
RUDI
Let me guess, you haven't had the
brief either?
JACINTA
I had it, but, I've spent all
morning getting into this rig and
its in the other room!
RUDI
Well you just need to know you're
DAVID's indentured slave called EL
I-PAS.
JACINTA
I know that, but how should I
behave?
RUDI
I'd rather not say.
JACINTA
Why is it always me?
RUDI
You know why, I'm too big for the
exo skeleton, we only have the
one.
JACINTA
But the mouth clamps, its just
bloody humiliating! Besides, how
can I react to DAVID's orders?
RUDI
If you speak GAMBINO will
recognise your accent. When DAVID
speaks and gives commands you flap
around grunting and looking
menacing. Its perfect for you.
If things go south then, the
hidden knives in the exo-skeleton
will prove useful.
JACINTA
Yeah, thats the only good thing
about this whole get up!
GANDER-DAVID
Won't they search her on the way
in?
RUDI
Possibly, but you need to act up
and distract the guard. You will
be the great "ETTEILLA". Tarot
reader to politicians and stars,
and a haughty old bag to boot!
Look, I'll give you JACINTA's
brief, some suggestions are in
there.
GANDER-DAVID
Great! It might have been helpful
to get them, before getting into
costume.
RUDI
Agreed, don't worry I'll have a
word with him later! In the mean
time I've read the brief, so I
will direct, and you can stop and
ask questions anytime.
JACINTA
(Muffled and exasperated) I have
this mute, how the hell am I going
to ask questions.
RUDI
Just listen then!
JACINTA
(Muted swearing)
GANDER-DAVID
Who is this ETTEILLA anyway, its a
strange name?
RUDI
Its the moniker that MILTON
selected as being the most
mysterious! A famous name in
Tarot. VINCENT will obviously do
web searches and then he will find
the connection to "Jean-Baptist
Alliette" the father of modern
cartomancy. It all subliminally
adds to your credibility.
GANDER-DAVID
I don't want to cast doubt, but do
you think that JACINTA might not
be too young for the role?
JACINTA
(Muted swearing, then she spits
out the mute) Nanofrag that!
(Coughs) I saved your arse,
Earthworm remember!
GANDER-DAVID
Yes as you keep reminding me, but
that was the streets, this is
something entirely different. I
think this requires subtlety!
RUDI
Agreed! Hence the restrictions and
mouth clamp.
We will use the exo-skeleton to
allow JACINTA or ELIPAS as she
will be known, to carry your
trunk, in the trunk will be
further props as deemed necessary.
JACINTA
RUDI have I done something to
offend you?
RUDI
Probably, almost certainly, but it
would have nothing to do with your
selection. Its all about fitting
into the exo skeleton, and as I
stated, your knife skills.
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI are you sure this is going to
work?
RUDI
No, not at all. It was MILTON's
idea, but if it comes to a fight
two persons are better than one,
and if one combatant has a powered
exo-skeleton, and can throw knives
with deadly precision that
improves the odds!
GANDER-DAVID
Can't argue with that, but my
'ELIPAS' is going to need a bath,
and some burn scars. I have an
idea to add to the back story!
Some deodorant might be an idea as
well.
JACINTA
Nanofrag off, I don't have stench,
just my natural musk!
GANDER-DAVID
Sure! (Slight cough)
JACINTA
Listen, you scheming witch, you
wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for
me?
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, true, but you are going to be
playing the assistant of a very
wealthy cartomancer of some
repute. Do you think she would
have a dirty, smelly sidekick with
no social graces?
JACINTA
No, (slight sobbing), I hate you!
RUDI
That was a little uncalled for
DAVID, I think you should
apologise!
GANDER-DAVID
Blin [Oh Shit]. Sorry! JACINTA,
look, I think you're amazing, a
real surviver of the streets and I
do owe you big time, but this is
all about the role and the
details. I'm going to say you were
a rival cartomancer who over
stepped, caused a client injury.
Because of this you are being
punished. It will feed into
VINCENT's nasty side. He will get
a kick out of seeing you struggle.
I'm trying to get you into the
role. Suppressed hatred is the
emotion I need to have come
across, from you, but with an
expensive perfume.
JACINTA
I get it but that was just cruel,
I can't help being like I am. Its
not a choice living on the
streets.
GANDER-DAVID
I'm know, I'm really sorry. Look,
forgive me and I'm actually really
happy that you're going to be in
the room with me. I'm scared
shitless about this, and no one
else can do what you do! We can
support each other, make this
real, and get those bastards.
However both of us need to be 110%
convincing, every little detail
counts!
JACINTA
I suppose so, but it was still
below the belt!
RUDI
JACINTA I hate to say this to a
warren sister, but DAVID's right!
If this scam works, the payoff
will really benefit the warrens!
JACINTA
How, it just means an Earthworm,
who doesn't understand this place
ends up running the Retrograde.
How does that help me or the
warrens.
GANDER-DAVID
I plan to get RUDI to co own the
inn. JACINTA, I know diddly squat
about this place, but she
understands. I promise that I will
employ only warren kids at the
inn. I aslo promise to look after
you and COSTAS, and the rest of
our extended family. It's the
smart thing to do!
JACINTA
Thank you, but I have seen
promises before, so I will believe
it when it happens. (Sniffling
dies down)
GANDER-DAVID
JACINTA or should I say ELIPAS,
lets get into role and enjoy! We
get to play another person for a
few hours. Savour the moment, you
might really take to it!
JACINTA
I'm not sure if being locked in an
exo-suit with mouth mutes,
qualifies.
GANDER-DAVID
An exo skeleton with useful hidden
compartments, designed to hide
weapons, and give you superior
strength, but crafted to present a
non-threatening image! Doesn't
sound to bad to me!
JACINTA
Yeah, I get it now. Fuck off, both
of you, I know this is a
conspiracy, you're enjoying this
aren't you!
RUDI
Guilty as charged! I always like a
floor show.
JACINTA
And where did you get the gear for
the Earthworm anyway?
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, that is a good question RUDI,
where did you get all this stuff?
RUDI
MOMO sponsors the local community
theatre, she lets them use the
auditorium.
GANDER-DAVID
You've got a theatre?
RUDI
Yes, of course, where do you think
the cabaret shows take place?
GANDER-DAVID
Cabaret shows?
RUDI
Jeez, are you a parrot, why do you
keep repeating what I say.
GANDER-DAVID
Repeating what you say!
JACINTA
Do you want me to kill him?
RUDI
Yes please! Well the face rubber
came from the Christmas pantomime
for the street kids.
GANDER-DAVID
(Laughter) That figures!
RUDI
OK, stop yammering and get over
there in the light. I need some
pictures.
GANDER-DAVID
One problem RUDI I don't know sign
language and nor does JACINTA! How
do we communicate when she is
muted?
RUDI
Just wiggle your fingers in a
suggestive manner.
JACINTA
I'm not telepathic, I can't just
pick up his thought waves!
RUDI
You're going to have to stop
thinking of DAVID as he. You both
have to be completely in character
for this, one mistake and you'll
be out of a lock.
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI ease up, we need time to
practice together, this doesn't
come easily. Are you ready for
that JACINTA?
JACINTA
I suppose so. Do I have a choice?
RUDI
No not really!
GANDER-DAVID
ELIPAS then pick up that chest and
look at the camera. Look scary!
JACINTA
Grrrrhhh!?
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI, position the camera, so we
get the table in front of the shot
and I will hold a card. We have
candles and lots of smoke. We need
to look mysterious but
authoritative.
JACINTA
Like this?
RUDI
Shit, it looks like you've just
come out of a lamp.
JACINTA
Get on with it!
GANDER-DAVID
Hang on, I'll put on my come
hither look
RUDI
Thats fucking terrifying.
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI, I'm just going to keep in
role, and practice the voice.
RUDI
Well, what ever it is make sure
you can keep it up.
GANDER-ETTEILLA
ELIPAS, please dress our stage!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
What?
RUDI
Thats you!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Sorry, I forgot! Shouldn't he,
sorry she be wiggling her hands,
or something.
RUDI
Put on the mouth clamps.
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Mummmm, mnmmm, humf! (Actually
saying-These Nanofraging things
hurt)
GANDER-ETTEILLA
Such an improvement! Now ELIPAS,
just getting into the role. (Pause
- Actor clearing voice noises).
ELIPAS, we have to dress our
stage, we will need a tea set with
incense burner, please set up
immediately.
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Mummm , hummmp hmmm! (Actually
saying-I can't move so easily)
(CLOMPING BOOTS OF EXO-SKELETON THEN CRASH OF PLATES)
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Hmmmp Hmmmpomn shummm! (V Actually
saying- Oh shit, shit, shiit, I'm
going to wring you neck)
Crashing of plates and candles as things fall off the
chest.
CRASHING PLATES
GANDER-ETTEILLA
RUDI, we're going to need more
plates!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Hmmms fuffffkg hmmm! (Actually
saying-its hard to balance this
exo skeleton!)
RUDI
Give her time, ELIPAS move more
slowly, the suit will then keep
up! Wow, look at those eyes,
she's getting into the role! (More
crashing noises, whirring of
servos) and another crash! Jesus,
its like a greek restaurant!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Hmmms fkgg! (Actually saying-I'm
going to smash a plate on your
head)
GANDER-ETTEILLA
ELIPAS, now, now, you know thats
not a recognised hand gesture!
RUDI
ETTEEILLA, I believe she is
getting into the role!
GANDER-ETTEILLA
She's getting into something!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Hmmms flummpf, thuths f***K off!
RUDI
Don't break character, put that
mouth clamp back on!
GANDER-ETTEILLA Clears throats and in dramatic voice,
with much waving and gesticulating.
GANDER-ETTEILLA
Dawn of light lying between a
silence and sold source. Chased
amid fusions of wonder, in moments
hardly seen, forgotten. Coloured
in pastures of chance. Dancing
leaves, cast spells of challenge.
A muse, but real in thought. Dawn
of thought transferred through
moments of days under searching
every feeling.
CRASH, THEN FIRE EXTINGUISHER
Crash of plates then small fire caused by candles being
knocked over finished with fire extinguisher.
RUDI
When I said dramatic, I didn't
mean set the place alight.
ETTEILLA your sleeve!
GANDER-DAVID
Oh, shit, shit.
Banging of cloth trying to put out smouldering robe
RUDI
Hold out you arm
SOUND OF FIRE EXTINGUISHER
GANDER-DAVID
Oh, thats better. (Pause) Say
RUDI, those candles I've just had
a brilliant idea.
RUDI
Really, do tell!
GANDER-DAVID
It's is a good one.
RUDI
Well, what is it!
GANDER-DAVID
If we could put some sort of mild
hallucinogen in the candle wax.
When we light them they would
start to effect VINCENT.
RUDI
It might, but, what about you,
won't you get high as well.
JACINTA-ELIPAS
Hmmmff (mouth clamp coming off) I
need a Nanofraging high to get
through this!
RUDI
Talk to MILTON, he might be able
to get PINKY to cook something up.
GANDER-DAVID
We will need an antidote, injected
before we go in!
JACINTA-ELIPAS
HMMMf (Mouth clamp coming off) I'm
not injecting anything from that
creep!
RUDI
It might work, worth a try. It
can't make the performance any
worse and it could dull the pain.
JACINTA-ELIPAS
What pain?
RUDI
The pain of watching you!
INT. BLACK BEARS - ROOM 3-15 - PERFORMANCE
DRAMATICUS
(GANDER-DAVID, MILTON COBO)
GANDER-DAVID returns from a gruelling practice session
with JACINTA. MILTON COBO & GANDER-DAVID discusses the
issue of back access to the inn, and this is kicked
around for a time but MILTON COBO is out of ideas's.
GANDER-DAVID castigates MILTON COBO for not utilising his
real strength which is the knowledge across the team,
because he has a tendancy to do everything himself.
GANDER-DAVID suggests that he thinks the convincers are
not going to be enough and introduces the idea of
utilising hallucinogenic compounds to soften up the mark.
MILTON COBO
You're late, hard day at the
office?
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, you have no idea!
MILTON COBO
Well, we have a problem.
GANDER-DAVID
So you've seen the video's
streams?
MILTON COBO
Yes, but that's not the problem.
If perhaps I may might proffer
some trenchant offerings in
support. Your performance, whilst
good, did bring up images of dead
ducks, flapping in a thunderstorm!
Somehow the overall impression did
not seem real!
GANDER-DAVID
That's just great, Yebát' {Fuck}
MILTON, you certainly know how to
boost moral! Well done!
MILTON COBO
Sorry, but you asked me what I
thought. I would be remise if I
didn't tell the truth!
GANDER-DAVID
Do you have any other pertinent
advice?
MILTON COBO
Well, some of the Macbethian
aspects are good, that's a plus,
but you mustn't over do the
witchery, and cut the crows wings
thing, keep the hands restrained!
You have to be real.
GANDER-DAVID
OK, I get the message!
MILTON COBO
Don't be discouraged, its getting
there! I venture that more
practice will improve matters.
Actually DAVID, your performance
is not my most pressing concern,
as I said. We have another more
serious problem.
GANDER-DAVID
Do tell?
MILTON COBO
It's about access. I can't find a
way to get behind the inn, the
private area's require us to get
in the walls and into the ducting.
However there is no access from
the public area's of the inn. I
really need to find pictures of
VINCENTS private quarters, the
exact layout and where I we can
conceal bugs, and camera's. His
quarters are three levels down.
GANDER-DAVID
Why is it in the under deck areas?
Seems a strange rather depressing
place to put a bedroom?
MILTON COBO
Security, I think? Its
impregnable, remember the hull
thickness?
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, of course.
MILTON COBO
The whole place is buried in the
lock structure. We can't drill
through it, and we can't play
again as utility workers, we
wouldn't get away with the same
con twice.
So if we can't get in, we can't
bug, and if we can't do that how
the hell will we simulate
hauntings, high strangeness, and
all the things we need to do!
We're dead in the water!
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON this negativity is most
unbecoming! There must be other
access, this is a giant hollow
habitat. Have you asked BEAR
MILTON COBO
No, but he won't know, I've looked
through the plans he had, they're
no use. I'm out of idea's!
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, I don't think you are
fully utilising your greatest
asset!
MILTON COBO
Of course I am!
GANDER-DAVID
No you're no! You're not letting
the team member's have their say!
You're treating this like its your
personal con, but its not. All
our lives are on the line with
this! Do yourself a favour, get
them in a room and get their
thoughts.
MILTON COBO
But I have got them in a room!
GANDER-DAVID
Yeah, just to blab on about your
plan. Don't take this the wrong
way MILTON, I think you're leading
us into disaster. You're letting
your ego cut you off?
MILTON COBO
Nonsense, I'm using my grifting
sixth sense, my charm, my wit, and
extensive knowledge of past
successful cons.
GANDER-DAVID
Exactly, it's all you! You really
are a dumb arse, what is you
biggest strength?
MILTON COBO
My past success rate!
GANDER-DAVID
No, its the team. Your real
strength is the diversity of the
supporting cast. Its me, BEAR,
RUDI, even JACINTA, all of us.
Why don't you simply ask the team?
Use our combined expertise, bring
them in.
MILTON COBO
(Pause then sigh), Dam it, I hate
to concede. I've been stewing in
my own juices! (cough) I feel some
verse is necessary.
GANDER-DAVID
Do you have to?
MILTON COBO
Yes!
With arrogance, it leads the heart astray,
Blinds reason's eye, as skies turn shades of grey.
From lofty peaks to precipitous fall,
Hubris, the architect, designs the thrall.
GANDER-DAVID
Well, that just about sums it up!
MILTON COBO
I must correct this oversight
immediately. (Pause whilst
thinking) I think its time for a
team meal at MOMO's!
GANDER-DAVID
Good! About time you bought some
drinks! Now apart from your
extensive inadequacies, we have
another problem.
MILTON COBO
Whats that?
GANDER-DAVID
I don't think my convincer is
going to work, its not just the
acting and JACINTA! Just pulling
some cards with a weird voice, and
running a line of bullshit. It's
not enough! This is the Mafia,
they are more cynical and hard
nosed than your average punter.
No MILTON I firmly believe we need
another edge, another twist.
MILTON COBO
We do have the other convincer,
the ghost hunters!
GANDER-DAVID
Yeah, thats good, but it's more of
the same. I'm thinking out of the
box here. Think about about the
mark, the recipient of the tale. I
was wondering if PINKY might be
able to assist.
MILTON COBO
PINKY! I don't trust him at all,
he'd grass us out in a moment.
GANDER-DAVID
No you idiot! Some 'chemical
assistance', perhaps?
MILTON COBO
You mean, coloured smoke, pop's
and bangs, that sort of thing?
GANDER-DAVID
Did your mother have a breach
birth, perhaps oxygen starvation?
You dum arse, think! I mean other
chemical help. You know, wink,
wink, illegal help.
MILTON COBO
Everything he does is illegal!
(The penny finally drops) Oh! You
mean drugs!
GANDER-DAVID
Finally! Drugs, hallucinogenics!
That sort of thing.
MILTON COBO
But won't that send you, and
JACINTA gah, gah as well!
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, maybe, but we know about
them, perhaps we could take the
antidote, perhaps we wear nose
plugs. I don't know the details
yet, but its an idea! It would
make the mark high, or at least
more suggestible? I was thinking
the candles might be the way to
introduce the dose.
MILTON COBO
DAVID that's brilliant. I like it!
I had similar concerns, but was
thinking along more conventional
lines. We know need to convince
them with your powers! What
better than electrical emanation's
from your fingers! The old Tesla
coil trick. Always impresses the
punters!
GANDER-DAVID
Sounds dangerous to me. Won't it
electrocute me!
MILTON COBO
No of course not. We take
precautions, metallic gloves, that
sort of thing! Needs good prep
work.
GANDER-DAVID
You really think sparks out of my
hands will do the trick?
MILTON COBO
Well it can't hurt can it! Perhaps
we put the coils and battery in
the trunk, you touch the trunk
with a conductive shoe. Bish,
bosh, bash, lots of sparks.
GANDER-DAVID
Bish, bosh, bash, and I drop dead
from a massive shock! Thats not
going to help with the laying of
the cards all the other wooh,
wooh, is it!
MILTON COBO
I did say we take precautions!
Anyway lets put this to the room
tonight, and see whats come back.
I trust your calendar is free!
GANDER-DAVID
Of course I'm free, what do you
think I'm going to be doing?
MILTON COBO
Practicing, performing in a drag
show, playing poker! I don't know?
DAVID your life is a veritable
social whirl! Now back to your
performance!
GANDER-DAVID
Its that bad then?
MILTON COBO
Well!
GANDER-DAVID
Was it the voice?
MILTON COBO
The voice was OK, it was the
rolling of the eyes and
incantations! Slightly overdone
perhaps?
GANDER-DAVID
You're a real confidence booster
MILTON!
MILTON COBO
Relax kid, you'll nail it, I have
confidence in you. I was thinking,
we could kill this afternoon with
a visit to PINKY, then on to my
TECHI for the electrical stuff?
GANDER-DAVID
I'm not going in costume to that
creep!
MILTON COBO
If we want the drugs, we need to
get over there now, we're short on
time.
GANDER-DAVID
Oh god! I suppose so! You know its
going to make him all excited.
Could we get the sparks working
first?
MILTON COBO
Even if that was possible, and it
isn't, you know that electrical
stimulation is not the way to go
with PINKY, that will only
increase his excitment!
GANDER-DAVID
Oh crap!
INT. MOMO'S BOUDIOR - PRIVATE DINING ROOM - THE
DINNER
(BLACK BEAR, GANDER-DAVID, JACINTA, MILTON COBO, MOMO, RUDI)
This is the scene where the whole group get together for
an idea's session on the details of the con. MILTON COBO
introduces his quant CHEN who has brought some ghost
hunter toys for BEAR to look at. JACINTA suggests to
MILTON COBO that the only way in to the hidden area's
behind the inn is via a space walk.
Within the heart of an MOMO's boudoir, concealed behind
heavy, burgundy drapes, lies a private dining haven, a
room designed for indulgent romantic rendezvous and
intimate feasts.
The room is an intimate cocoon of rich, passionate
colours. Deep, velvety reds and purples dominate the
decor. The walls are swathed in textured, wine-coloured
damask, embossed with intricate patterns that catch the
flickering candlelight. Above, a cascading crystal
chandelier bathes the room in a soft, golden radiance.
The lighting is discreet, with the chandelier's crystal
pendants refracting the light into a dazzling display. A
myriad of fake LED candles, nestled in vintage holders,
cast a warm, sensual glow over the space, illuminating
the lace tablecloth and fine china placed elegantly on
the dining table.
The dining table, constructed from dark mahogany, is
polished to a gleaming finish. It's set for two, with
delicate porcelain plates, crystal wine glasses, and
silver cutlery gleaming invitingly. A lace runner drapes
gracefully down the centre, providing an air of vintage
romanticism.
In a cozy corner, a small private nook is arranged with a
velvet love seat and an ornate coffee table.
MOMO and MILTON COBO are standing looking at the motley
collection of conspirators.
MOMO
(Sipping her tea, gazing at the
assembled family) You know,
MILTON, it's at times like these,
I get teary, there's nothing like
having the family gathered around?
MILTON COBO
(Chuckle) Warms the cockles of
one's heart.
Imagine what it would be like if
we owned the Retrograde, we could
really make some changes to the
BC.
MOMO
Absolutely, get rid of those
horrible leaches! I have to ask,
why the sudden urgency, it was
very short notice?
MILTON COBO
Sorry MOMO, I would normally book
ahead, but this afternoon, DAVID
pointed out that I had been very
remiss. I was being arrogant in
not consulting the team and that
this behaviour could jeopardise
the whole operation.
MOMO
We he is probably right, you do
tend to keep everything locked up!
MILTON COBO
Possibly true! To make matters
worse MOMO, I have now got a bad
case of grifter's block. I just
can't figure some crucial aspects.
You know its a very tight
timeline, so I had to get moving.
This was the only safe place that
I knew would be secure!
MOMO
Well, the lad is very astute on
most things, even though he is
green when it comes to the
Bencubbin, but he will learn.
MILTON, can you please try and
give more warning next time, I had
to move the toastmasters, they are
a good earners, a lot of toasting
each other and a healthy bar bill!
MILTON COBO
Point taken. Nice meal, bye the
way, thank you.
MOMO
MILTON, it appears that our little
family gathering has once again
devolved into a sodden. It seems
our family members have a
remarkable talent for absorbing
free alcohol.
MILTON COBO
Free alcohol?
MOMO
Yes, I felt it was only proper
that a small consignment of
illegal booze, stolen from the
GAMBINO's, by a client of mine, is
aiding in their ultimate
destruction!
MILTON COBO
Sweet, (Chuckle) perfect
retribution MOMO, I approve!
MOMO
Thank you! Its a small effort.
Its nice to see the children all
together is it not?
MILTON COBO
Just like Christmas!
MOMO
(Chuckles) Yes it is, we should do
this more often.
MILTON COBO
Well, now, let's see what under
the tree, shall we!
MILTON COBO stands and taps his glass for silence.
MILTON COBO
Team, its good to see you all
together. I have brought you here
because! (Pause and raised voice)
Settle down, BEAR come on! Take
your seats please. I have an
announcement!
JACINTA
(Murmured to BLACK BEAR) BEAR,
he's not getting married again is
he?
BLACK BEAR
(Chuckle) No thank God, HESSE was
bad enough, anyway no one would
have him nowadays!
JACINTA
(Snigger) You got that right!
Clapping and whistles from around the room!
MILTON COBO
Settle down team! It's good to see
you in such good spirits! DAVID
pointed out, correctly, that I
have not been sufficiently
consultative. Lets make no
mistake, this is a dangerous and
difficult job. Together, we will
re-enforce the rumours about The
Retrograde ghostly inhabitants.
It's going to be tricky, and it
will involve several active fronts
of engagement, but if we all do
our jobs, using the brains of the
whole team, we will free the
Bencubbin from those Italian
leaches!
Cheers, glasses are raised and slowly the room settles
down again!
MILTON COBO
You will see around the room,
white boards, upon these boards I
have posed some interesting
questions for you to ponder. If
you come up with idea's, please
let me know. First I would also
like to introduce a new member of
the team.
GANDER-DAVID
(To RUDI) hoo-dy-shka [Skinny
Man], I hope he's not bringing in
PINKY.
RUDI
No way, he doesn't trust him,
beside he's a creep!
MILTON COBO
Please put you hands together and
give a very warm welcome to DR
CHEN. He has in fact been helping
on the job already on the
technical side.
MILTON COBO gestures for CHEN to stand
MILTON COBO
Please stand DR CHEN so we can see
you!
CHEN stands
MILTON COBO
Dr CHEN has been my technical
support, for a number of jobs, and
he is going to assist the fixers
with some of the more complex
technical arrangements. On the
side tables he has a number of
interesting gadgets for us to use
and test, and will be there to
answer questions.
The group breaks apart and people wander around the room
CHAIRS BEING PUSHED OUT & GENERAL HUBUB OF SMALL GROUP
MILTON goes over to the table with the question on the
white board about the behind the inn area's with GANDER
DAVID
PAPER RUSTLE AS PLANS ARE EXAMINED
RUDI
Paper copies of the inn layouts,
how very antiquated, so what?
MILTON COBO
Look at the blank area's
RUDI
There is nothing in them!
MILTON COBO
Yes, I know, and thats the
problem, these are behind the
Retrograde. I don't know whats in
them I can't find details
anywhere.
RUDI
So we just go and take a look, map
it ourselves!
MILTON COBO
Its not that easy, how do we get
in, we would have to cut through
the inn bulkheads. We have
already done one scam, we can't do
it again and hope to get away with
it. We need alternatives.
RUDI
Yes, that might be a problem,
heavy bulkhead, massive plates, we
would need a plasma, or copper
burning bars or water jet!
MILTON COBO
Exactly, and we have done that
already!
JACINTA
So, you clunk heads want to get in
behind the inn walls right?
MILTON COBO
Yes, right behind the walls,
particularly the living area's, we
need to pretend to be ghosts
GANDER-DAVID
More specifically, we need to spy
on VINCENT GAMBINO when he is at
his most vulnerable. That's when
he is sleeping. We need to
project voices, move things around
his room, spooky stuff! It has to
be personal, that means behind
the wall access.
JACINTA
So what's the problem?
MILTON COBO
How are we going to do that if we
can't gain access to the spaces
behind the walls of his room.
Thats the problem.
JACINTA
You guys are so dumb, how the hell
did you pull off the diamond
heist?
MILTON COBO
You're not supposed to know about
that!
JACINTA
I suppose I could see why you just
can't see it, being Earthworms and
all!
MILTON COBO
What, we can't see what?
RUDI
You better tell him JACINTA, I
don't think he is going to figure
it out and he might have an
embolism!
JACINTA
(Slightly frustrated at their
dumbness) You come in from
outside, you arses, its obvious!
MILTON & MILTON COBO look at each other as the penny
drops!
GANDER-DAVID
Shit, of course, external locks,
why didn't I think of that.
MILTON COBO
You mean a space walk?
JACINTA
Yes of course I mean a space walk,
this is a space habitat! Its
completely surrounded by nothing,
literally.
MILTON COBO
But its a huge lock, won't the
authorities immediately detect its
opening.
JACINTA
(Sigh) RUDI, where did you find
these dunderheads, I'm getting a
head ache just trying to get down
to their level.
RUDI
JACINTA I picked one up at the
cafe, the other I think I found in
a dumpster, drunk. Yes, thats
right, it was on Corbeling street.
JACINTA
Makes sense! (Chuckle) Ok listen
up you two and learn! All locks
have a service lock, much smaller
for technician access. They have
mechanical overrides, they are
probably vacuum welded, not having
been used for years, but its worth
a try.
MILTON COBO
I have to say thats brilliant
JACINTA, I didn't think of that.
Its a completely different
approach.
JACINTA
Its because you're both
Earthworms, you forget this is a
habitat, because of its size.
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, I told you the team has
the answers!
MILTON COBO
I must grudgingly admit you were
right DAVID, but there is no
points in 'I told you so'. No one
likes a smart arse.
RUDI
It's not quite that simple!
MILTON COBO
What's the problem?
JACINTA
We need exterior EVA suits, type
one EVA's not the cheap crap we
have.
MILTON COBO
We just go out and buy them then?
JACINTA
Oh my god, you're so dumb!
MILTON COBO
How much do they cost, we're not
completely skint?
JACINTA
Dude, they cost millions!
MILTON COBO
Ah, I see! That might be a problem
then!
GANDER-DAVID
We hire them, like for a wedding?
JACINTA
(JACINTA and the other look at
each other and burst out laughing)
No one's going to wear someone
else's suit, don't you know
anything!
RUDI
Thats not quite true JACINTA. The
CIS has a lot of suits and they
get reconditioned.
JACINTA
Sure!
MILTON COBO
Well that's solved then, no
problem
JACINTA
No problem! You're not suggesting
we steal suits from the CIS?
MILTON COBO
Well as you keep saying, we are
common criminals after all!
JACINTA
You're bat shit crazy man,
Nanofrag! Those guys have zero
sense of humour!
JACINTA walks away shaking her head, just as BLACK BEAR
wanders over.
BLACK BEAR
What's up with her?
MILTON COBO
She has no faith in the power of
the grift!
BLACK BEAR
Well, I'm not sure I do at the
moment either! I over heard one of
kitchen staff, they're staying at
my place. They now think the
noises might be the CIS laying
bugs. Won't that queer our pitch?
MILTON COBO
It might BEAR, if we bump into
them, but my contacts say they
aren't being bugged! My current
thinking is VINCENT and his
henchmen go in, find no CIS, and
then it just makes the situation
worse, the noises must be ghosts
right! It's all just playing
straight into our hands. They're
almost conning themselves!
BLACK BEAR
But MILTON, where are the noises
coming from, they certainly exist,
the kitchen staff are really
frightened.
MILTON COBO
Well its not ghosts, it's
travelling through the plates,
could be miles away.
Dock workers or construction, that
sort of thing.
BLACK BEAR
Are you sure?
MILTON COBO
Of course I'm sure, Ghosts don't
exist BEAR! Mind you don't tell
the marks. (Pause waving his
drink) You should look at those
ghost hunter gadgets, I'm pairing
you with CHEN, he will play a
technical gimp and you do your
gentleman adventure thing, wave
those things around pretend you
finding ghosts.
BLACK BEAR
Goodo, the bastards, I'm going
lead them in circles!
MILTON COBO
That's the spirit BEAR!
BLACK BEAR
That is a terrible pun, MILTON
MILTON COBO
Yes I know!
BLACK BEAR
I worry that they might recognise
me, after all I'm a little
unusual. They were beating the
crap out of me a few weeks ago.
MOMO walks slowly over
MILTON COBO
MOMO has some idea's on that
front, ah, here she is!
MOMO
Gentlemen, enjoying the evening,
need a top up BEAR?
MILTON COBO
We've already solved one problem,
so thats a win! MOMO, tell BEAR
about your disguise idea's!
MOMO
Well, you might find it radical
BEAR. First we have to go to a
good barbers, get that horrible
hair and beard sorted.
Then off to my tailor for a ghost
hunter costume, which, in my
thinking, is a large trench coat,
with lots of pockets for the
gadgets. Probably need a scarf
like Doctor Who.
BLACK BEAR
Wasn't he on second base?
MILTON COBO
Very good BEAR, still sharp after
all these years!
BLACK BEAR
I like my beard, its my signature
trademark!
MILTON COBO
That's why its definitely going.
It will grow back BEAR every tree
needs a good prune occasionally!
