Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
G02-E05 - Ten of Cups
Even the greatest con man needs his team.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
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THE TAROT INTERVENTION - G02-E05-TEN OF CUPS
A younger Dr CHEN assists MILTON COBO with the technical
aspects of the proposed con.
On the Ten of Cups, a loving couple stands together, arms
outstretched, as their two children play nearby. They
look towards their home on the hill and a beautiful
rainbow in the sky filled with ten cups. These two have
true, everlasting love and have everything they could
ever wish for – the home, the kids, and most importantly,
fulfilling love – and they share this bond with the
people around them.
INT. MOMOS - WARREN OF THE FOUND - DRESS CODE
(GANDER-DAVID, JACINTA, MILTON COBO, RUDI)
This is the scene where MILTON COBO gathers the team
doing the space walk and lays out how they are going to
get their spacesuits.
Hidden beneath the grandeur of MOMO's BOUDIOR, far from
the eyes of the world above, lies the clandestine
sanctuary known as the "Warren of the Found Children."
It's a subterranean realm where the forgotten and
abandoned find solace and camaraderie.
It is accessed through a concealed door at the bottom of
the safety stairs. The entrance to the Warren is a narrow
tunnel, barely large enough for a child to traverse
comfortably.
The labyrinthine network of tunnels that makes up the
Warren is a mix of old lock space and empty habitat
skeleton framework. Over time, the walls have been
adorned with makeshift art—crayon drawings, posters from
missing children, and handwritten messages of hope.
As you navigate the twisting tunnels, you'll discover a
series of hidden chambers, each with its unique purpose.
Some are dormitories, where rows of makeshift beds
fashioned from old blankets and discarded mattresses
provide a semblance of comfort. Others are communal
spaces, with scavenged furniture arranged in haphazard
circles for storytelling and camaraderie.
The children of the Warren have transformed their
subterranean haven into a place of resourcefulness and
resilience. Discarded books, toys, and forgotten
belongings have been lovingly collected and repurposed.
Here, a stack of old encyclopaedias becomes a makeshift
library, while discarded wooden planks become games and
puzzles.
Lighting within the Warren is sparse but resourceful.
Cracked atomic glow-sticks and battery-operated LED
lanterns cast eerie, shifting shadows along the walls.
The children have left their mark on the walls, painting
vivid murals that tell stories of their journeys and
dreams. One wall depicts a fantastical landscape where
they imagine themselves free, while another showcases a
memory of a long-lost family.
The ambient sounds of the underground world are a mixture
of whispered conversations, the soft strumming of an
improvised guitar, and the laughter of children who,
despite their hardships, have found solace in each
other's company.
MILTON COBO is standing with his immediate conspirator's
in a dimly lit meeting room within the warren.
JACINTA
This is a good meeting place, I've
told the kids to keep prying ears
away, but as I know they won't
I've posted COSTAS outside. I know
its not as grand as MOMO's
boudoir, but it is totally secure.
MILTON COBO
It's perfect JACINTA, very cosy,
thank you.
JACINTA
My pleasure!
MILTON COBO
Right team, lets get down to
business. We are planning a direct
incursion into CIS provisioning.
MURMURS OF AMAZEMENT
GANDER-DAVID
So let me get this right! You
intend to rock up to the CIS and
request four EVA suits at several
million credits each, plus any
supporting gear, and then just
walk out.
MILTON COBO
No, we won't be walking, we will
be marching, and have a CIS truck.
Plus we have the paperwork that
says we can do it! Suits come in
combat crates, with wheels! The
CIS will kindly forklift them in
to the combat vehicle that we will
have stolen, they provide the
goods and the means of escape!
JACINTA
You've gone nanofraging crazy,
both of you! Its a clear case of
space psychosis!
RUDI
It is bold, I must admit.
MILTON COBO
I'm dead serious, and you need to
be as well.
RUDI
Won't there be extensive
biometrics?
MILTON COBO
Which are hacked, by Dr CHEN!
JACINTA
What about the grunts, no one will
know us.
MILTON COBO
Which is to be expected, because
we are a maintenance team brought
in by special circumstances
division!
JACINTA
I still don't like it!
MILTON COBO
You'll need uniforms, and we will
have to make you look like
hardened bastards. Which I believe
will be the more challenging
aspect of the whole operation.
You're all rather slovenly, and
the way you move is just
disgraceful.
GANDER-DAVID
Now just a minute, speak for
yourself!
MILTON COBO
I will play the Sargent Major,
naturally!
RUDI
I see you like the self promotion!
Are you sure your officer
material?
MILTON COBO
All of you will play a special
task force, of the Radio
Signalling Brigade. I have your
scripts here.
RUSTLING OF PAPER.
JACINTA
Why is MOMO waiting with CECILIA?
MILTON COBO
She is going to do your makeup, we
need scars, particularly on you
DAVID, I'm going to have to shave
your hair and eyebrows, get rid of
the eye make up, and we will spray
on artificial stubble. You'll get
an eyepatch, and some fake burns.
GANDER-DAVID
So, you want me to look like a
total Kozyol [Asshole]. I'll look
hideous!
MILTON COBO
Which is the general idea dear
boy, it also hides your over
plucked eyebrows! Needs must, and
all that. JACINTA we need to make
you look older.
JACINTA
Hang on!
MILTON COBO
Sorry more 'mature' We also need
you to look combat ready, but
thats easy, you're pretty much
there at the moment. RUDI, we
need to make you look like the
technical nerd, thick glasses,
buck teeth, that sort of thing.
You're playing the quant!
RUDI
Quant?
MILTON COBO
The quantitative, does the signal
analysis. Unusually nerdy, but
dangerous!
RUDI
Can't I be the glamour, for a
change!
MILTON COBO
No, I'm the glamour! They need to
concentrate on me!
RUDI
Why is it always about you! I hope
you're not going to rip off you
shirt, and Captain Kirk around!
MILTON COBO
So look at the scripts, do some
role playing, I'm going to pop out
for a few minutes, lots to do!
RUDI
Leaving at the most crucial moment
as always!
MILTON COBO
Tootle pip, I have total
confidence in you all! Just carry
on running lines. Do some
marching, or whatever military
shit you have to do to get in
character. Come on DAVID we need
to get the paperwork, bring that
horrible cloak!
AIR LOCK DOOR
JACINTA
RUDI I tell you he's lost it!
INT. NEOCRATE CITY - DIGITAL DECEPTION
(CHEN, GANDER-DAVID, MILTON COBO)
In this scene we meet CHEN in his lair. MILTON COBO
needs CHEN to hack into the CIS computer and arrange fake
space suit authorisation papers. They also discuss more
details of the Tesla coil and gadgets.
The sprawling area of "Container City," is a dystopian
cyberpunk haven where the future has collided with the
industrial past, and the remnants of a bygone era are now
transformed into towering, interconnected container
skyscrapers.
The container towers are a patchwork of metal, neon, and
graffiti. Vibrant neon signs flicker and hum with life,
casting an eerie glow on the metal surfaces. Some
containers are pristine and adorned with sleek,
holographic billboards, while others bear the scars of
time and battle, their surfaces rusted and battered.
Navigating the city requires a complex network of
elevated walkways and bridges, crisscrossing between the
container towers. These precarious pathways are lined
with makeshift shops, market stalls, and the occasional
street performer. They are alive with the constant hum of
activity, both day and night.
Graffiti artists have left their mark on nearly every
available surface, turning the cityscape into a canvas of
rebellion and self-expression. Colourful murals depict
futuristic cityscapes, political statements, and vibrant
abstract designs, contrasting sharply with the cold,
metallic surroundings.
At night, the City transforms into a neon-lit dreamscape.
The container towers pulse with vivid neon lights that
paint the sky in shades of electric blue, neon green, and
fiery red. The city seems to breathe and pulsate with an
otherworldly energy.
Hidden within the labyrinthine container towers are
secret tech bazaars where hackers and cyberpunks trade in
illicit technology. These underground markets are a hive
of activity, with flickering monitors, holographic
displays, and the low hum of hidden servers.
MILTON COBO and GANDER-DAVID carefully pick there way
through dumpsters and containers, across metallic bridges
finally moving down a passageway half way up a metallic
skyscraper to knock on the side of an old shipping
container. A voice comes over an intercom.
GANDER-DAVID
This place looks like Container
City!
MILTON COBO
Well, it's nothing like container
city DAVID, its has services and a
city council. Its much more
respectable. They re-enforce and
stack the containers, so we have
real buildings. In fact we're
going into this tower!
METAILLIC DOOR
GANDER-DAVID
Nice, "Neocrate Heights" I must
admit it has a certain has a
certain, ah "ring" to it!
MILTON COBO
Sure, if you like boxiness!
METALLIC DOOR AND LIFT
MILTON COBO
(Milton hums "Girl from Ipanema"
(Pause)
GANDER-DAVID
(Hums "Girl from Ipanema")
MILTON COBO
OK, this is our floor, I need to
use the intercom and get buzzed
through.
DOORS AND METALLIC FOOTSTEPS, THEN MECHANICAL BELL
INTERCOM CLICK
CHEN
The secret songbird sings in its
cage!
INTERCOM CLICK
MILTON COBO
But it's a beautiful, gilded cage
for a fabulous lyrebird.
INTERCOM CLICK
DOOR BUZZ THEN METALLIC BOLTS
GANDER-DAVID
A little over dramatic, don't you
think? I thought this guy is a
top hacker, surely he has camera's
and other traps!
MILTON COBO
He probably does, but fieldcraft
never gets out of date. Even on a
space habitat, and you can't hack
a secret passcode!
There is a buzz of a another solenoid and the door swings
open, they climb several stairs downward and negotiate
another door.
CHEN
Did you close the outer?
MILTON COBO
Of course.
CHEN
Good, I can't take the risk, we
still have scavenger packs!
Council is trying to clean them
up, but the local cops are all
useless! If they get in they'll
strip the place!
MILTON COBO
Well, it is neocrate city, dear
boy! What did you expect?
CHEN
I expected, that its wouldn't be
completely lawless, if I wanted
anarchy I be in container city,
wouldn't I!
MILTON COBO
Well, yes I suppose you would!
CHEN
Come in then, I'll buzz you
through.
DOOR WITH ELECTRIC BOLTS
CHEN
Tea, coffee?
MILTON COBO
Thank you dear boy!
CHEN
And don't touch anything!
THINGS BEING MOVED AND SITTING THEN KETTLE BREWING
CHEN
Now gentlemen, how can I help?
MILTON COBO
First let me make some
introductions, DAVID this is Dr
CHEN!
CHEN
Hello DAVID, I dig your look!
GANDER-DAVID
Enchanté(e)! I saw you the other
day but I could see that BEAR was
getting stuck in! Thought it was
better to leave you be!
CHEN
Yeah, it was sweet, he just loved
that stuff!
MILTON COBO
DR CHEN meet our inside man on the
Tarot.
CHEN
Really, its a big role! Are you
sure you can pull it off?
MILTON COBO
DAVID's a shoe in, he has
considerable card skills.
CHEN
Nice!
GANDER-DAVID
Well, I dabble, a little!
MILTON COBO
So Dr CHEN, thank you for your
support yesterday, the team loved
the hardware! I think it was a
very useful moral boost!
CHEN
My pleasure! It's these sort of
jobs that get the creative juices
flowing! They also get me out from
behind a screen, which whilst I
enjoy my computer time, can get
tedious after a while. In this
case you introduced a frisson of
excitement.
MILTON COBO
Dr CHEN, my friend, the technical
aspects of this con are crucial to
its success, we'll not do it
without you!
CHEN
Everyone has a part to play, so
what brings you here? I take it
it's not a social call?
MILTON COBO
One of the team came up with an
idea!
CHEN
Really!
MILTON COBO
It's more work, but it gets us out
of a hole on the surveillance
front! It unfortunately requires
some EVA suits and a space walk.
CHEN
(Laughter) MILTON, I don't have
EVA suits, they cost millions.
MILTON COBO
I know that, dear boy, but, I do
know a bunch of folks who do have
them, and they are waiting for us,
all clean and ready to go. We
just have to pick them up!
CHEN
I don't like where this is going,
I have a sinking feeling!
GANDER-DAVID
Don't worry, I get them all the
time, with our friend here!
CHEN
Let me guess, its military, isn't
it?
MILTON COBO
Well, not exactly, it's actually
CIS central holdings! Strictly
speaking they're not army.
CHEN
(Laugh) Oh crap you're serious,
CIS, really? Ohh!(Mandorin
phrase)
MILTON COBO
Can you do it?
CHEN
Well, it's a difficult nut to
crack, given their psychotic
nature?
MILTON COBO
I am well aware of that, dear boy,
but your the best, a veritable
digital demon.
CHEN
I know what you're doing, you
can't butter me up! Now do you
want milk and sugar?
MILTON COBO
Milk for me, no sugar!
GANDER-DAVID
Yeah same over here, thanks!
CHEN
Come on then, what do you want?
MILTON COBO
Requisitions!
CHEN
Nothing difficult then, ahhh!!
MILTON COBO
Four Suits?
CHEN
Four suits! (Chinese swearing) Are
you batshit crazy man!
KETBOARD AND COMPUTER BLEEPS
CHEN
OK, then!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT BLEEP
CHEN
Lets say, a few days?
MILTON COBO
Ahhhh!
CHEN
Oh, fuck! You need them faster?
MILTON COBO
Just a little!
CHEN
I suppose, I could do it tomorrow?
MILTON COBO
Ahhh?
CHEN
Come on, now you're taking the
piss! Really?
MILTON COBO
That sounds about right! Don't you
agree DAVID?
GANDER-DAVID
I suppose so.
CHEN
Noooo!
GANDER-DAVID
Sounds splendid!
CHEN
You want them today. (Pause)
You're not my fucking parents!
Come on be reasonable!
MILTON COBO
Can you do it?
CHEN
I guess we will find out, When the
CIS breaks down that door! I'll
tell them you did it!
MILTON COBO
Is it that bad?
CHEN
It's the CIS. (Pause) Well if we
are going to commit suicide, lets
do it properly. I'm going to go
hardcore.
SOUND OF BOXES AND REMOVING COVERS FROM EQUIPMENT
CHEN
See this! This is Hitachi-Dyson,
its got the key sets, and the
quantum SynthHack Matrix.
MILTON COBO
Sounds impressive!
CHEN
Oh, shit! Its like talking to a
dog about space travel! (Pause) OK
lets fire it up!
COMPUTER STARTING
CHEN
DaVID can you make yourself
useful. See that Dewar flask in
the corner?
GANDER-DAVID
What me?
CHEN
Yes you! I'm looking in your
direction. Is there another DAVID
in the room.
GANDER-DAVID
Nanofrag, chill, you're getting as
snarky as MILTON.
CHEN
Dude! Maybe I'm cracking under the
pressure!
KEYBOARD SOUNDS
CHEN
DAVID, do me a favour, if I start
quoting poetry, just kill me!
KEYBOARD
GANDER-DAVID
Where do you want it?
CHEN
Over here, in this funnel!
DEWAR FLASK AND LIQUID NITROGEN
GANDER-DAVID
Oh, it's cold, what is this??
CHEN
Don't tough it, it's liquid
Nitrogen, its needed for the cubit
core, we need to maintain
coherence and superconductivity.
COMPUTER KEYBOARD
CHEN moves over to another desk pulls out an old looking
terminal.
HISSING AS LIQUID NITROGEN OUTGASSES
SOUNDS OF KEY STROKES ON KEYBOARD, COMPUTER BLEEPS
CHEN
Good the temperature is dropping!
BLEEPING THEN AFFERMATIVE DING
CHEN
OK, lets go hacking!
KEYBOARD
GANDER-DAVID
So what are you doing?
CHEN
It's technical stuff, you really
want to know?
GANDER-DAVID
I'm interested, yes!
CHEN
Well, I'm making what is called a
non-intrusive approach, i.e. They
won't know its happening. I'm
looking for open ports, services,
and any exploitable
vulnerabilities.
BLEEPING THEN AFFIRMATIVE BLEEP
GANDER-DAVID
What's happening?
CHEN
Code is running.
BLEEPING AND COMPUTER NOISE
CHEN
So DAVID tell me, this make-up and
'ensemble' what's that about?
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, it's my look, you got a
problem with it?
CHEN
No, not at all, I like it, looks
cool.
AFFIRMATIVE BLEEP
CHEN
Oh great found something! (Pause)
Shit they're so dumb.
AFFIRMATIVE BLEEP
I'm in!
GANDER-DAVID
Ahh! This is exciting!
KEYBOARD
CHEN
Exciting and dangerous, at the
same time!
AFFIRMATIVE BLEEP!
CHEN
Oh look! I got a site map. Oh
thats not good.
MILTON COBO
What!
CHEN
They have multi faceted security!
KEYBOARD
CHEN
Oh, shit! Look biometric access
control!
KEYBOARD
CHEN
Oh crap, cameras and guards.
KEYBOARD
CHEN
Oh and there's dogs as well
(Pause) Well, thats not
surprising, it's the fuck CIS.
(Pause and amazement) You want to
go in there?
MILTON COBO
(Cough) It's a little tight in
here, rather hot! We're not going
to get gassed by that machine, are
we?
CHEN
MILTON, I have automated venting.
MILTON COBO
Look Dr Chen, dear boy, I don't
want, but I have no choice! I'm
going in disguised, its a long
shot!
CHEN
Ha, rather you than me!
MILTON COBO
Well, thats why I'm the grifter
and your the hacker, isn't it!
CHEN
Ah, I guess so!
MILTON COBO
I've been meaning to ask, where do
you sleep, I can't see a bedroom?
CHEN
Well not in here obviously! Do you
think I curl up behind that
computer?
MILTON COBO
Sorry, my bad, I just assumed!
CHEN
Well don't! I have a flat, this is
a cutoff. Why do you think its in
Neocrate city?
MILTON COBO
Sorry, dear boy, I am suitably
castigated! The reason I brought
it up, is that I thought it might
be useful for you to set up closer
to the gig. That is, once we
enter the main phase of
operations?
CHEN
Could be useful!
CLICKING OF KEYS, BLEEPS.
CHEN
So DAVID you're really going in as
the Tarot reader?
GANDER-DAVID
It would appear so!
CHEN
Good luck! (Pause) You better turn
a friendly card!
GANDER-DAVID
(Puzzled) Thank you!
CHEN
Can you take an electric shock?
KEYBOARD
GANDER-DAVID
Oh! What?
CHEN
Yes, see that over there?
GANDER-DAVID
That coil thingy!
CHEN
Its a wángbādàn Tesla coil and the
fucking thing has shocked me so
many times.
GANDER-DAVID
(shouting over the computer noise)
MILTON?
MILTON COBO
What?
GANDER-DAVID
You said the Tesla coil was 100%
safe, CHEN is saying it keeps
shocking him!
MILTON COBO
It is safe, you'll have safety
gear, faraday gloves, that sort of
thing!
GANDER-DAVID
Can I talk to you in private? If
that nanofrag thing does a number
on me, I'm going to be really
pissed!
MILTON COBO
(Cough) Yes of course dear boy.
(Pause, trying to change subject)
Now Dr CHEN do you want me to talk
to BEAR on the storage space for
you?
CHEN
Whats the bandwidth like?
MILTON COBO
Fibre, you can check with BEAR!
COMPUTER GIVES A BLEEP
CHEN
OK.
KEYBOARD
CHEN
I'm back in for the details!
(Pause) Yes, we're in. God I love
a qubit crack!
KEYBOARD CLICKS
MILTON COBO
Sounds painful! Can we get the
suits?
KEYBOARD
CHEN
Ahmmm! I think so. What type and
how long do you want them for?
MILTON COBO
Class one, prolonged EVA.
CHEN
Jesus!
KEYBOARD
CHEN
For how long?
MILTON COBO
Put a week, if we need more we'll
just keep them.
CHEN
MILTON, you'll have to kill the
transponders!
MILTON COBO
Yeah, RUDI & JACINTA can do that.
CHEN
Oh shit, you going to have to
bring these suits back, their
worth millions! If you get
caught, it is the CIS need a say
more.
MILTON COBO
I know, look, they won't be
getting them back, its too risky
we'll never get the DNA off.
Besides we will probably need them
again! Don't worry, we have secure
storage.
CHEN
Well it's your con, and you're a
con man, but better come back on
me.
COMPUTER BLEEP THEN TURNOFF SWITCH AND RUN DOWN
MILTON COBO
Thank you dear boy, very good!
CHEN
All, done, now chuff, chuff, no
off you go, like Cinderella to the
ball, you'll need to collect
before 16:00 otherwise you're
requisition will turn into the
pumpkin!
MILTON COBO
OK but before I leave, how's the
other stuff going?
CHEN
Not as quick as I would have
liked! MILTON you gave me a long
list. Tesla coil, done. Faraday
mesh, ahh, I need the cloak, do
you have it?
MILTON COBO
DAVID can you please give Dr CHEN
your cloak from the costume.
CHEN
Ahhh, I'll need it for a couple of
days!
GANDER-DAVID
You can keep it for ever as far as
I'm concerned!
MILTON COBO
But, its essential for the job so
you're wearing it. Two days, Dr
CHEN, then we have the first read,
please make it a priority! The
gloves.
CHEN
Fast order, Queresma Technical!
MILTON COBO
Good, we don't want burns!
GANDER-DAVID
Burn's?
MILTON COBO
Yes, from the sparks!
GANDER-DAVID
Sparks?
MILTON COBO
DAVID you really are developing
parrotlike characteristics.
GANDER-DAVID
I'm worried about having my
fingers burnt off!
MILTON COBO
Look the gloves are used by
linesman, you're perfectly safe!
GANDER-DAVID
Well, you're not the one doing the
work, so it's easy for you to say!
MILTON COBO
Chill, you're get all worked up
about nothing! Let me talk to Dr
CHEN! Hows the other stuff going?
CHEN
Laser mesh, done, EMS meter, done,
the others still being modified.
Oh I forgot. I had a brilliant
idea on the EVP's and the
recorders. I've rigged them with a
radio back channel, so that
someone can speak into a
microphone, and the voice comes
out.
MILTON COBO
Careful, it has to be convincing,
we can't have silly voices, it
could blow the whole job!
CHEN
Relax, I've thought of that, the
mic box has a signal processor! I
add distortion and a load of
noise. It will sound like a
ghost.
MILTON COBO
Brilliant idea, love it! I'll get
some recordings from HESSE when
she's practicing her lines.
CHEN
MILTON, just one thing! The
fucking Tesla coil, it's deadly,
it could easily kill!
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, this is sounding bad!
MILTON COBO
Relax, you're going to be the most
protected, you'll have mesh
gloves, meshed cape, it's the
others I'm worried about. So these
sparks, could they hit our mark?
CHEN
Possibly, but I did have a
mitigation idea. Silver paint, its
conductive. You make a circle
around you and the coil, sit the
box on it and it acts as the
return. Sparks go there, not
through the bodies!
GANDER-DAVID
Perhaps a circle with a pentangle?
CHEN
Good idea, the more paint the
lower the conductivity. Get the
mark to stay outside of the
circle, and he should be safe.
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, we need to test this.
MILTON COBO
Thanks Dr CHEN.
CHEN
OK guys, get out of here! Off you
go! Hurry, those requisitions will
run out!
INT. PINKY'S LABORATORY - PSILOCYBE
(GANDER-DAVID, MILTON COBO, PINKY)
This scene details how MILTON COBO, JACINTA and GANDER
visit PINKY to obtain a hallucinogen in which to aid the
card reading sessions with VINCINT.
The entrance to PINKY's laboratory is a steel airlock
door covered in rust and barely functional. Access is
granted by an Intercom and only after discussion with
PINKY
The room is illuminated by a series of flickering led
lights that cast erratic, eerie shadows on the walls. The
occasional hum of the electrical fixtures adds to the
unsettling ambiance.
The laboratory is a symphony of secondhand scientific
apparatuses and cluttered workstations. Shelves are lined
with dusty, haphazardly arranged beakers, vials, and jars
filled with strange, colourful substances.
Glass containers filled suspicious reagents line one
wall. They make up what PINKY calls his collection!
The air is thick with the acrid scent of chemicals.
HEAVY KNOCK METALLIC THEN INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
PINKY! Come on stop playing these
games, you're being petty! Let us
in. It's cold out here!
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Does he do this every time?
MILTON COBO
Just about, I think it makes him
feel more powerful!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
PINKY, come on! I have a
profitable job for you!
INTERCOM
PINKY
Go away, you always say that!
You're a creepy con man.
I don't want to make another stink
bomb, my laboratory still smells
from last time. I have better
things to do!
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, I know what your going to
say, please don't ask...
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
Really dear boy? So you don't want
to talk with your chemical friend?
GANDER-DAVID
He's a horrible creep, somethings
really wrong with him!
MILTON COBO
But, he's so lonely and his just a
young lad!
GANDER-DAVID
No MILTON, I'm simply not going to
butter up to him, just so you can
get you chemicals!
MILTON COBO
Well they were your idea in the
first place!
GANDER-DAVID
That doesn't matter, he's
horrible!
MILTON COBO
Needs, must dear boy, I don't
think we'll be getting in
otherwise! (Click) PINKY Come on,
what are you doing in there!
INTERCOM
PINKY
None of your business Grandpa!
Stop coming over, its upsetting my
mum.
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
I've been nothing but polite to
your mother!
I have even been purchasing
quantities of her comes-tables!
INTERCOM
PINKY
That's the problem, she thinks you
fancy her!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
Don't be ridiculous, she must be
nearly seventy five
INTERCOM
PINKY
She still likes you, she says
you're her toy boy, otherwise why
would you keep smiling at her in
the shop!
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
(Chuckle) So you have a new
girlfriend, well, well, MILTON? A
new sweetheart, get it! (Laugh)
MILTON COBO
Don't you start!
GANDER-DAVID
Well, you were trying to shop me
to PINKY just a minute ago!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
Please Pinky, I have a bank bond
for a thousand credits, its
burning a hole in my pocket!
INTERCOM
PINKY
Go away!
GANDER-DAVID
Pleasant little shit, isn't he!
MILTON COBO
Shush, he might have rigged the
intercom on listen! Now you talk
to him, you might have more luck1
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Hello PINKY, its DAVID, you
remember me! I share a room with
MILTON! We have lots of money and
it's a quick job, just like last
time, up front payment!
INTERCOM
PINKY
Oh, its you, the girl boy, so are
you still with your boyfriend
then!
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, I hate you, I'm going to
have to butter him up! Urgh!
MILTON COBO
I can't force you, dear boy, its
has to be voluntary! Like going
over the top in the trenches! If
you could see what I can see, with
your face, it looks like you have
just swallowed a bug.
GANDER-DAVID
Well, I'm about to! (Clearing of
throat)
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Hello, I'm glad you there. I've
been thinking about you.
INTERCOM
PINKY
Really?
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, you, in there in your little
white coat, with all those sexy
chemicals.
INTERCOM
PINKY
So you've dumped him then?
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, he was too old and a little
set in his ways! Between you and
me, he was horrible in bed!
MILTON COBO
(Whispered) Now hang on ...
GANDER-DAVID
So I was laying there yesterday
thinking of you! (DAVID has a sick
look on his face)
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
You really want to go down this
path DAVID?
GANDER-DAVID
If it get's us in and gets us what
we need!
MILTON COBO
I salute you, for your sacrifice
to your con!
GANDER-DAVID
Nothing is actually going to
happen!
INTERCOM
PINKY
I don't want to do those smells
again.
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
We don't want smells PINKY, just
fun stuff this time!
INTERCOM
PINKY
I could smell, that horrible crap
for weeks, I had to clean the
whole lab. If you want more potent
stuff there are Selenium compounds
but I will have nothing to do with
them!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
You mean there's stuff that's
worse?
INTERCOM
PINKY
Of course! I did further research!
(Evil laugh)
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
Da Yob Tvoyu Mat [What the fuck?].
Keep that sick stuff away from me!
No PINKY we just want lovely fun
stuff!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
Jesus, let us in PINKY, we're
cold!
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
PINKY I wrote a poem.
GANDER-DAVID
Now I know we're desperate!
MILTON COBO
(Clears throat)
Pinky, a wizard of a different kind,
With mischievous intentions, he'd often unwind,
In glass beakers and vats, his potions did brew,
Creating odorous chaos, that's what he loved to do.
At the heart of his laboratory, his cauldron of dismay,
Pinky brewed mischief in a most peculiar way,
His stink bombs, they sizzled, they bubbled, they hissed,
Releasing noxious clouds, impossible to resist.
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
I'm wearing a low cut top PINKY,
do you have your little lab coat
on, I would like to do up the
buttons?
PINKY
Really!
GANDER-DAVID
Do you have those sexy tongs?
INTERCOM
MILTON COBO
Jesus, now you getting desperate!
GANDER-DAVID
Needs must MILTON!
INTERCOM
GANDER-DAVID
And those white rubber boots.
DOOR UNLATCHING
GANDER-DAVID
And she works her Katerina magic!
PINKY
Oh, hello gorgeous. MILTON is she
really as pervy as they say?
MILTON COBO
(Cough) Well..
PINKY
Ohhh!
GANDER-DAVID
Hello PINKY!
PINKY
Why Hello! (Clearing of throat and
refocussing) So what can I do you
for?
MILTON COBO
We need to mess with someones
head, without them being overly
aware of this!
PINKY
MILTON, this really isn't my
thing, I'm not a poisoner!
MILTON COBO
No, not like that, we need to make
someone, have a hallucinogenic
experience!
PINKY
Drugs, I don't do drugs.
MILTON COBO
Are you sure about that?
PINKY
Yes, really sure, I don't want to
get intimate with the GAMBINO's!
MILTON COBO
I see!
PINKY
They are very dangerous, have zero
sense of humour and tend to
encourage walks outside the
habitat.
MILTON COBO
We don't want to sell drugs, it
purely for our own use!
PINKY
So now your junkies, the pressure
is finally getting to you!
MILTON COBO
No of course not, its for a mark,
in a confidence trick?
PINKY
So you want some to send someone
bonkers!
MILTON COBO
No, not so extreme, we want to
slightly warp the reality field,
nothing very strong!
PINKY
I don't like the sound of this,
its still playing with fire! Drugs
are not my thing. I do flashes,
bangs and coloured smoke, not
drugs.
MILTON COBO
You helped with the smells!
PINKY
Yes, but thats not drugs is it!
Drugs are dangerous. Even if your
not dealing, the opposition don't
like any incursions. They're very
serious about anything that
effects the business.
MILTON COBO
This is a very special case PINKY,
they won't even know about this at
all!
PINKY
Let's get one thing straight
MILTON, if this comes back to me,
you'll have made another enemy. I
want to remain alive!
MILTON COBO
Yes we are fully aware of that!
PINKY, I need something subtle to
aid a con, its very hush, hush!
The only people who will know is
you, me and DAVID.
PINKY
It's still a potential risk, what
about girly boy here?
GANDER-DAVID
I'm right here in the room, and I
have a name! PINKY I'm breaking
up with you, you treat all women
like objects! (Pretend sob)
PINKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything, just
thinking of security!
GANDER-DAVID
(Hamming it up) No, you never
loved me, you only liked your
chemicals! You didn't even use my
name!
PINKY
I didn't mean...
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON, did I hear a noise, a
whining pathetic noise.
PINKY
Hang on, I'm not..
MILTON COBO
Stop this, you two! PINKY, do you
want some money or don't you!
PINKY
Oh, OK then, I suppose so! Did the
target audience appreciate my
previous effort?
MILTON COBO
Yes, in intimate detail, which was
the intention. PINKY, as much as
I hate to admit it, you're a
chemical genius!
PINKY
Why thank you! At least some one
appreciate my worth, unlike you
girlie boy!
GANDER-DAVID
(Light pretend sobbing) You never
loved me!
PINKY
So, you mentioned hallucinogenics,
how strong?
MILTON COBO
I require something mild, to
soften up the mark, make them more
suggestible, but not so much that
they notice. Perhaps two
strengths one for a slight sense
of unreality, the other to give
them bad dreams, but not enough to
make them go crazy. Any idea's?
PINKY
This is a little outside of my
expertise, but I know the native
American Indian's used psilocybin,
extracted from various mushrooms.
It gives quasi spiritual
experiences, I believe.
MILTON COBO
That sounds like the sort of stuff
we need, spiritual is good!
PINKY
I might be able to extract the
active ingredient's in a tea.
What's the proposed delivery
method?
MILTON COBO
It would have to be air born I
think. If you can concoct an
antidote that would be very useful
as well.
PINKY
Antidote, I'm not sure if that's
possible. If it's in the air
filter plugs could contain the
affects.
MILTON COBO
PINKY, how long do you think it
will take?
PINKY
I really don't know! Let me
investigate how to obtain the
feedstock, I will have to make a
visit to the Dirkson Lanes. Then
I will have to brew and reprocess.
Might be a little tricky, don't
want to contaminate my laboratory.
Call back in a few days. Do you
have test subjects?
MILTON COBO
I've not thought of that, let me
get back to you. I have one
thousand credits in this bag. If
you hit a snag, let me know.
PINKY
Are you still at BLACK BEARS?
MILTON COBO
You know I am!
PINKY
Just being polite!
MILTON COBO
Next time be polite to my
girlfriend too, look at her! Come
on DAVID lets get out of here.
PINKY
One day you're going to give me a
big wet kiss girlie boy.
GANDER-DAVID
Go away, I hate you, the only way
you'll get near me is if am dead!
PINKY
That might be arranged.
MILTON COBO
PINKY, play nice!
INT. UTILITIES CAVERN - CIS STORES - ASTROGUARD
ARMOR
(CAPTAIN ANDERSON, CHEN, GUMBERT, JACINTA, MILTON COBO, RUDI)
In this scene MILTON with crew, manages to bluff his way
into CIS central stores and steal EVA suits. Comedic
interlude.
The entrance to the CIS store is an imposing, blast
resistant door with a biometric scanner. Only authorised
personnel can gain access. A corridor leads you further
into the facility, its walls adorned with photographs of
astronauts in action, and futuristic spacesuit designs.
The spacesuits are stored in climate-controlled vaults,
each resembling a high-tech safe with reinforced walls.
The suits hang in a regimented row, their metallic
helmets gleaming under the cool, white LED lighting. The
spacesuits are meticulously labeled and categorised for
quick retrieval.
The store houses a variety of spacesuit models, from
extravehicular activity (EVA) suits designed for
spacewalks to advanced lunar and Martian suits with
specialised life support systems. Each variant is
optimised for specific mission requirements.
Spacesuits are not one-size-fits-all, and customisation
is crucial. Adjacent to the training area are
customisation stations, where astronauts have their suits
tailored to fit their unique dimensions. The stations
include state-of-the-art 3D scanners and sewing machines
operated by skilled seamstresses.
A Cybertruck pulls up and a rather rag tag bunch of CIS
soldiers clambers out.
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) Squad halt! (Whispered)
Bugger, CHEN can you see the front
door, its a nanofarging vault,
with a bio metric scanner!
CHEN
(On radio link) Yes, yes, take a
chill pill, I know, I've hacked
into it and loaded codes for your
face.
MILTON COBO
I thank heavens, I thought we were
dead before we even started!
CHEN
If it doesn't work, leave
immediately!
MILTON COBO
I think thats stating the bleeding
obvious, dear boy! When I saw it,
I thought we were buggered!
CHEN
(On radio) Do you trust me?
MILTON COBO
Well...
CHEN
Never mind, now just get your
arses in there, the clock is
ticking!
MILTON COBO
Right, OK then!!
CHEN
MILTON, you should have more
faith!
MILTON COBO
Faith's one thing, breaking into
CIS central is another!
CHEN
Break a leg!
BOOTS ON GROUND
MILTON COBO
Monitor for alarms, if shits hit
the fan, its going to do it
imminently! (Shouted) SQUAD
FORMATION! LEFT, LEFT, LEFT,
RIGHT, LEFT HALT! At ease
soldiers! (Whispered into his
radio mic) Chen I'm about to scan!
CHEN
Monitoring!
MILTON COBO moves his face close to the scanner, there is
seemingly an eternity of bleeping and clicking, then a
huge clunk as the vast metal door slowly opens.
MILTON COBO
(Whispered into his radio mic)
CHEN, I don't say this often, but
you're good! I'm in!
CHEN
But of course you are, was there
any doubt!
CLUNK THEV WHINE OF HUGE ARMOURED DOOR
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) SQUAD FORMATION! LEFT,
LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT LEFT (Boots
stomping) RIGHT TURN! ENTER
FACILITY, QUICK MARCH
DOORS THEN BOOTS ON SQUEEKY FLOOR
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT,
LEFT! HALT, AT EASE SOLDIERS!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
What the hell! Who the hell are
you? Stinking up my room, stomping
around in those unpolished boots,
leaving scuff marks on my floors!
Sargent, where are your papers?
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) PROVISIONING NOTICE
NUMBER 35234 SIR! IMMEDIATE
DISPATCH REQUEST, SIR!
Authorisation form 5B dash 3, Sir!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Very good, Sargent! Back off, not
so close, I don't like the look of
you! Give me those papers. If
there is some much as an "i" not
dotted, I have you pips and
strips!. Ah, ha, what's this,
were is the addendum?
MILTON COBO
ADDENDUM, TYPE C FORM 3 SIR!
(Discrete cough) In the back
folder, Sir!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Oh, for Maritsuba's sake. Let me
see, suits, type EVA, signatures,
section A complete! Unfortunately
all appears to be in order. So
this time, it would appear, that I
can't order your removal. Tell
them to stand down Sargent,
you're making me tired, just
looking at you!
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) COMBAT SQUAD 435 STAND
DOWN! At ease soldiers.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
According to this, you require,
four off, AstroGuard Armoured
suits, immediate dispatch.
Impossible! Do you know how much
those suits are worth?
MILTON COBO leans over the provisioning officers desk
menacingly.
MILTON COBO
(Quietly, and with menace) No, I
don't, and I don't care. Your
answer can only be one thing for
you to keep your post, and its not
"impossible".
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
What, how dare...
MILTON COBO
We have orders from CIS special
circumstances division. You do
know special circumstances, don't
you? The people, you don't want to
meet, the people you don't want to
know, and the people you don't
want crawling over your service
record, which I have no doubt,
will show a strange confluence of
events, which meant that you
avoided combat!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
How dare...
MILTON COBO
Serious people, with no sense of
humour. Do you want me to report
that a stores officer, a coward no
less, is hiding from front line,
in a provincial base, and is
preventing an essential
maintenance operation?
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
No, but...
MILTON COBO
An operation, which is by now
affecting radio surveillance in
the whole of the gamma sector?
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
The gammma..
MILTON COBO
The whole gamma sector. Let me
take a look at you Captain. Yes as
I thought.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
But we..
MILTON COBO
No buts, just yes. I must say you
certainly have big balls, did you
get assurances on your promotion
path. It might be a good idea,
after today, to get something in
writing!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
(Slightly taken aback but not cow
towing). This is all highly
irregular!
MILTON COBO
War doesn't run to a schedule, or
follow your rules Captain.
MILTON COBO walks over to JACINTA who is scowling and
twitching!
MILTON COBO
(Whispered) Don't over do it
Solder control yourself! (Loud
voice) Solder give me your secure
communicator, now!
JACINTA
(Shouted) Yes Sir, (Bleeping as
handset is extended)
MILTON COBO
Get me Major Dobberstein's
secretary.
JACINTA
Yes Sir! (Bleeping) Is that Major
Dobberstein's office, priority
call, Sargent Lassiter from
Signals! Yes, yes I have Sargent
Styborski for you sir.
MILTON COBO
Styborski! Yes, yes, we have
executed the operation, but we
have an issue in provisioning!
(Sound of someone shouting down
the phone) Sargent, it's the
Major, he want's to speak to you!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Oh, (Takes the phone, sound of
shouting from the other end) yes
Sir, no sir, I don't want to hold
up a vital operation, sorry sir,
thank you sir! (Glares at MILTON
COBO and hands the phone back)
MILTON COBO
Still have trouble with the
paperwork?
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
(Glare and speaking through closed
teeth) GUMBERT, get over here!
Take this lot to laser measuring,
get class one AstroGuard suits.
Well, don't just stand there!
GUMBERT
Sir. Class One, long duration?
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
What duration do you want?
MILTON COBO
What, I'm a little deaf?
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
(Shouted) What type of suit?
MILTON COBO
Sorry, deaf in my right ear.
Combat over pressure, Stanton!.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Hard campaign, bloody asteroid
settlers.
MILTON COBO
This lot, all survived Stanton.
Class one bastards, ever one of
them!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
So what type of suit?
MILTON COBO
Long, extra oxygen, those
antenna's are bastards.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
You heard him soldier, get to it.
GUMBERT
Yes Sir, I'll need five minutes to
prep!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Very good! You were saying?
MILTON COBO
See that slightly feminine one,
the tall one.
MILTON COBO points to a heavily disguised GANDER-DAVID
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
You mean with the burn scar?
MILTON COBO
Yes! Looks like a pussy. Killed
three men with his bare hands,
then the fire sticks got him!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Nasty, I can see the marks!
MILTON COBO
The dyke, don't look at her, she's
even worse. (Moving closer and
whispering) Doesn't like men you
see, her partner was killed by a
kamikaze drone, pilot was male.
Went berserk, took out half a
ship. Got a medal, the under
belters, have her on the kill
list! Troops call her Joan, like
Joan of Arc!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
She's got nasty eyes.
MILTON COBO
You have no idea, but that's
nothing compared to the gimp!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
What, the nerdy one?
MILTON COBO
She's the worst! See those teeth,
well she ripped out a mans throat,
because he snow crashed the
servers. He certainly couldn't be
rebooted. She's done time on hard
rock.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Shit, I've heard about that place!
MILTON COBO
Yeah. Killed two guys in prison.
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
How did she get out?
MILTON COBO
Too valuable, CIS need her.
RUDESKI what's your favourite
operating system?
RUDI
(Gimpy toothy voice) X Systems, if
you mention Windows I will do a
hard reboot!
MILTON COBO
See what I mean!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
Yes, (Bleep) Oh Good, look it's
gone through.
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) WHAT!
CAPTAIN ANDERSON
(Shouted), ITS GONE THROUGH! WE
HAVE SUITS FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.
EXIT LEFT, THREE DOORS DOWN!
MILTON COBO
(Shouted) SQUAD, PROCEED TO
FITMENT ROOM, AT THE DOUBLE, LEFT,
LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT LEFT! HALT, LEFT
TURN, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT LEFT!
SQUEAKING AND STOMPING OF BOOTS IN CORRIDOR.
RUDI
(Whispered) You're worryingly good
at this MILTON.
MILTON COBO
Sea scouts, lots of marching!
RUDI
Look at that poor bastards face.
MILTON COBO
Shitting himself, and he deserves
everything he gets! Now stop
whispering, and shut up, walls
have ears.
