Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
G02-E06 - Six of Swords
A space journey is the only way to debug the Retrograde.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
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THE TAROT INTERVENTION - G02-E6-SIX OF SWORDS
GANDER-DAVID has his first experience in a spacesuit
outside the station, not something he is prepared for!
The Six of Swords shows a woman and a young child being
rowed across a body of water towards a nearby land. Her
head is covered, suggesting sadness or loss as she moves
away from something in her past. Her child nestles in
close to her body, looking for safety and comfort as they
make this journey together. In the boat stand six swords,
suggesting that the woman and child are still carrying
memories or baggage from their past into their future.
While the water on the right of the boat is turbulent,
the sea ahead is tranquil. This imagery suggests that
they are leaving behind a tumultuous situation, bound for
a more peaceful and supportive environment.
INT. MOMO'S BOUDOIR - PRIVATE PARLOUR - CARTUS MAXIMUS
(GANDER-DAVID, MOMO, RUDI)
This is the scene where MOMO proposes to come in on the
soup carts and allow a larger operation to take place.
RUDI
DAVID how's the tarot reading role
play?
GANDER-DAVID
Slow, but JACINTA is starting to
get into the role, those glaring
eyes give me the chills?
RUDI
I hope so, do you think you're
both ready?
GANDER-DAVID
I guess we'll find out soon
enough. If it goes all tits up,
and we get to see the stars
personally, please keep this
business going. If nothing else
to stick it to those bastards.
RUDI
Don't worry. You be fine, you're a
natural, your like a ghastly aunt
from P.G. Woodhouse! VINCENT won't
know what's hit him.
GANDER-DAVID
Why do I feel like I should be
wearing formal dress, every time I
come here?
RUDI
Well, you should, my mother is a
was a duchess after all! (They
both laugh) She loves DRAG, you'd
go down a storm!
LARGE WOOD DOOR OPEN
MOMO
Come in, come in! I have a little
pick me up prepared!
RUDI
Mum, you don't need to go over the
top!
MOMO
Nonsense! A good Champaign is
essential when launching anything!
Now raise your glasses! (Clearing
of throat) To splendid affairs and
splendid friends, may our evenings
together always be filled with
laughter and merriment!
GLASSES BEING CHINKED
GANDER-DAVID
Thank you! This is very nice, more
than we deserve MOMO.
MOMO
It's nothing my Dear! (Pause) Oh,
my goodness, I can hardly believe
it's finally here. The first
performance, darling! DAVID do you
feel you are ready?
GANDER-DAVID
I believe we're as ready as we'll
ever be! However, I would be lying
if I said I wasn't nervous!
MOMO
Darling, you've been rehearsing
tirelessly for days. You're going
to shine like a supernova!
RUDI
That's a dying star Mum, not a
good omen for the performance!
GANDER-DAVID
I feel like it's just before a big
drag show, at a new venue! What if
I forget my lines? What if I trip
over my own feet? What if the
audience doesn't respond?
MOMO
You're a star darling, I know a
star when I see one! And stars
like you have a way of dazzling
even when they stumble.
RUDI
Mum, really! What's with all the
astronomical references?
MOMO
It's probably the Champaign!
GANDER-DAVID
I'm nervous, and the butterflies
in my stomach feel more like
pterodactyls right now!
MOMO
It's only natural, it's a good
thing. Remember, why you're doing
this. Have you seen your posters?
You look positively regal! I
presume they have done the trick
with the mark? Has the he bitten?
GANDER-DAVID
As far as I know, he rang this
morning.
MOMO
Excellent!
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON posed as my guild booking
secretary! He even screwed GAMBINO
out of a few grand, due to the
short notice!
MOMO
That wily old bastard. (Laughter)
It's a good thing though, you have
to play hard to get, otherwise he
won't value you!
RUDI
Tea! Milk? Sugar? Mother, would
you like a cake.
MOMO
My dear, as much as I adore divine
confections, one must consider the
consequences. I'm in the midst of
a most critical phase of watching
my figure.
RUDI
Come on, you can have a small
chocolate, lighten up! You're not
that (Throat clear as she searches
for the correct word) above
expectations!
MOMO
Ah, my child, appearances can be
deceiving. Maintaining the
illusion of svelteness requires
the strictest of vigilance.
RUDI
So let me understand this, you're
saying that a single small piece
of chocolate cake, will ruin you
figure?
MOMO
Indeed, my dear. One slice today,
and before you know it, I'll be
mistaken for the hull of the
Maritsuba.
A young girl enters the room and whispers in MOMO's ear.
MOMO
Excuse me for one minute, we have
a client that is refusing to pay.
I need to mediate! These men are
so tedious!
MOMO sweeps out of the drawing room.
GANDER-DAVID
I wouldn't want to be him!
RUDI
Not for all the tea in china!
(Pause) More tea DAVID?
GANDER-DAVID
Why do I get the feeling, that I'm
the boy friend, that is being
scrutinised?
RUDI
You are! You've scored some
points for doing the con, and MOMO
was impressed with you card
skills, but this is different, you
going into business with her
beloved daughter, she want's to
really get to know you!
GANDER-DAVID
It's a couple of soup carts, its
not exactly corporate business, is
it?
RUDI
No, but large oaks from little
acorn's grow, and all that.
MOMO re-enters the room.
MOMO
Sorry about that, no matter how
much you try to pull back, the day
to day always interrupts!
Let me put this old whip down.
(Pause) Now where was I, oh yes,
DAVID, I was curious? The last
time we met you were dead set on
not staying in New London, you
wanted to go back to Earth?
GANDER-DAVID
Yes, well the place has started to
grow on me, and I realised that if
I left, I was just still running
away from my past, and I'm tired
of that. You know I do have an
ultimate aim, and that is to get
the Retrograde Inn from the mafia.
I want revenge!
MOMO
Yes, well, revenge is a dish best
served with a garnish of elegance.
It is however a powerful
motivator. However the mafia are
very serious adversaries. I've
been chipping away for years, and
that is why I'm curious in your
soup cart idea!
GANDER-DAVID
How would soup carts, hurt the
GAMBINO family?
MOMO
Well, not directly but, they might
introduce a distraction into the
marketplace. You do know they run
the ice cream van business?
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI, mentioned that.
MOMO
Yes indeed! There is a tacit
understanding, between the two
groups. I postulate that
introducing a third party might
start another war between them,
therby distracting them from their
nefarious activities.
GANDER-DAVID
You mean there was a previous war?
Over ice cream?
RUDI
Yes, four years ago, some shoot
outs and a mysterious fire at a
depot!
MOMO
It's funny how you get nostalgic,
I miss the screaming tires, manic
bells, interspersed with
occasional machine gun fire. It
used to enliven the streets and
stop them encroaching and
expanding. At one point it got so
bad the governor was forced to
appoint a special squad.
Completely ineffectual of course,
due to corruption!
RUDI
I loved those chumps!
GANDER-DAVID
I thought you didn't like the
cops?
RUDI
I don't but this bunch were
laughingly known as the serious
chimes squad!
GANDER-DAVID
(Laughter) This place, it really
does my head in.
MOMO
Wait until you've been here for a
few years!
GANDER-DAVID
So, we are planing two carts, I'm
not sure how that's going to
really disrupt anything?
MOMO
It won't. Which nicely Segway's
into why I invited you here. Two
carts is simply not enough my
dears!, Firstly any public retail
endeavour of significance must
establish a strong brand upfront.
RUDI
We intend to do that!
MOMO
Yes my dear, of course, but you
not going to make any impact with
a two carts are you?
RUDI
Well, no, not at first!
MOMO
I've decided it's high time our
little family made a foray into
the world of retail. I've been
trying to think of where I might
expand next. This cart idea has
the advantage of being very
flexible. I like it! However a
couple of carts will simply not
do!
GANDER-DAVID
Well, I'm sorry Ms MOMO, even
after the diamond caper, I just
can't commit the funds, I need to
pay my rent!
MOMO
Yes, I know my dear! That is why I
was wondering if you might
consider a third partner in this
venture?
GANDER-DAVID
You want to come in?
MOMO leans forward conspiratorially
MOMO
Yes I do! You need at least ten
carts and a secure place to
conceal them. Stick I giant middle
finger up to the GAMBINO's
GANDER-DAVID
Are you sure we should do that?
MOMO
They will know the minute you put
a single cart on the streets,
better to have strength in
numbers.
GANDER-DAVID
MOMO, RUDI and myself can't match
that, it would be a take over and
we would end up working for you,
whilst I like you, I'm not sure we
wish to do that! No offence!
MOMO
Non taken my dear!
RUDI
MUM, the whole point of this is
that I want my own business, I'm
already working for you.
MOMO
I understand, both of you want
independence. I will come in as a
non equity, venture partner,
effectively I will be your bank!
A bank offering advice and a very
low rate of interest. Furthermore
DAVID, your father left some of
his excess cash with me for safe
keeping, that can also be
redeployed. Think of this as his
hidden revenge, to stick it to
those bastards without them
knowing!
RUDI
If this is some sort of ruse, I
will be seriously pissed off, I
know what you're like!
MOMO
It's not, I promise my dear. I
would never short change my
family, and that includes DAVID,
honestly!
RUDI
I don't know, what do you think
DAVID?
GANDER-DAVID
It would get things going from the
get go, and it would mean we could
have really great food carts. If
you can't trust your mother, who
the hell can you trust?
RUDI
OK then, but MUM if you pull a
fast one on this, I will be
seriously pissed off!
MOMO
My dear RUDI, I have a lifetime's
worth of interesting pursuits, and
the hostile take over of a soup
cart operation is not amongst
them.
RUDI
Well, good then, but I'm warning
you!
MOMO
I will take the warning seriously.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a
pressing engagement with my
afternoon tea and the latest
society gossip and I believe one
of the non paying guests needs
further whipping. RUDI dear,
perhaps it might be a good idea to
show DAVID the extent of the under
spaces and warrens?
INT. MOMOS - WARREN ONE - CART HEADQUARTERS
This scene details RUDI show GANDER-DAVID where the carts
might operate out of.
GANDER-DAVID and RUDI are wandering around a dark dusty
echoey space.
GANDER-DAVID
So, we are well under street
level, where is the access to the
road?
RUDI
Its that large industrial lift,
comes out in the side alley. There
is a shuttered door. Easily
defendable from the window above.
GANDER-DAVID
So, you're thinking we are going
to have trouble.
RUDI
Yeah, almost guaranteed. Mind you
we're not completely defenceless,
especially if MOMO has an
investment. We have the warren
kids, they're tough, JACINTA and
COSTAS, but it is a worry!
GANDER-DAVID
Perhaps if the ice cream vans are
fighting each other we can run
right through the middle?
RUDI
Well, it's a factor but at the
moment there is a truce.
Initially its going to be tough,
we'll need to sucker them into
each other's territory.
GANDER-DAVID
Come on you can do it!
RUDI
This is not a game DAVID. People
have gotten killed, people close
to me.
GANDER-DAVID
Sorry, I didn't realise. I know
its not a game, but honestly RUDI
the Bencubbin will never thrive
unless those MAFIA Yebát' {Fuck}
get pushed out. Besides, it will
give all the warren kids something
to do, hey could rally behind the
carts!
RUDI
Yeah, there is that.
RUDI moves forward with here hand out!
RUDI
Let's make a pact DAVID, forget
the business, lets make it our
mission to clean up the Bencubbin!
GANDER-DAVID
Sure, its a worthy cause RUDI, it
really is! Shit, I'm getting
emotional!
RUDI
Oh, bugger, well you can stop that
immediately! No time for tears!
Now lets do what we came for and
take a look around.
Sounds of footsteps, things being moved.
GANDER-DAVID
Need to get some lights down here,
its like a bishops cloak!
RUDI
Yeah, I think lights then a
serious cleaning crew.
GANDER-DAVID
It's a huge space, we could put
the vans and chargers over here,
storage shelves. We could close
off over there for the kitchen.
It's all hidden, its perfect.
RUDI
That's what I thought. I also
think that having just two street
kids per cart is not enough I
think each cart should have four,
give more coverage. The drivers
of the carts need an encrypted
radio as well for early warnings.
GANDER-DAVID
We will need military precision to
avoid the ice cream vans, but hot
dam RUDI, we can make this work!
Its exciting!
RUDI
Its good to be doing something
positive to improve the place.
GANDER-DAVID
Whats really in it for your Mum,
not that I don't trust her? I
mean no one gives out serious
credits, without wanting a piece
of the pie?
RUDI
DAVID, honesty, I don't know
really. I think she might just be
tired of those Nanofargers!
Perhaps she thinks I'm wasting my
life. I don't know, she's hard to
read, but what ever it is, its our
one chance to do some good and
possibly make some bunce with it.
We would be bonkers to turn her
down!
GANDER-DAVID
OK, so what's the first step!
RUDI
I will hire JACINTA as super
intendant and get her working on
this space with the warren crew. I
in the mean time, we get the cart
build fired up.
GANDER-DAVID
What do I do?
RUDI
You think of a name for this shit
show!
INT. PINKY'S LABORATORY - MELLOW YELLOW
In this scene PINKY delivers the two solutions of
hallucinogenic juice, so that it can be used in the con.
Slightly comedic in that he is half off his head due to
an accident in the lab, so he is high!
PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC IS PLAYING IN THE LAB
MILTON COBO
PINKY, hello! Shit, thats the
first time I've seen the door
unlocked!
GANDER-DAVID
That's not a good sign!
MILTON COBO
PINKY! Are you alright, it's uncle
MILTON, hello. I can hear some old
fashioned music.
GANDER-DAVID
Shall, I poke my head around the
corner, see whats what?
MILTON COBO
You be careful, it might be booby
trapped.
GANDER-DAVID
I don't thinks so, besides he's
desperate to make amends for his
past sins with me! It might delay
any response!
MILTON COBO
Go ahead, but you've been warned!
GANDER-DAVID
PINKY! Hello, it's you're sexy
girly boy!
PINKY is seen galloping around his laboratory in pink
pyjamas!
PINKY
Ride horsy ride, we're nearly over
the last fence, I can see the
finish line!
GANDER-DAVID
Da Blin [Shit] he's as high as a
kite?
MILTON COBO
No, not PINKY he is a miserable
bastard, and always takes
precautions.
GANDER-DAVID
So whats that in the pink pyjamas
then?
MILTON COBO
Jeez, sweet, he's completely off
his head. Oh his coming around the
lab again!
PINKY
Come on, we're going to win, come
on and over the line. (Horse
snorting sounds, whinnying)
PINKY slows his advance around the lab and then falls to
the floor giggling.
PINKY
I won the race yahoo!Come In, come
in and join me! Would you like
some herbal tea?
MILTON COBO
No thank you PINKY we just came to
see how you we're going?
PINKY
Oh, it's going great, I feel
liberated! Oh you've brought your
girlie boy. Hello darling!
GANDER-DAVID
Yuk, hello PINKY, how are you?
PINKY
I'm good. I feel oneness with
everything. I've seen the
universal.
GANDER-DAVID
The what?
PINKY
The universal, I've talked to the
being! Its so vast, the universe,
and we are so small. (Crying)
GANDER-DAVID
What did it say?
PINKY
Oh, I can't put it into words, the
colours where so beautiful, like a
kaleidoscope. I've seen the other
side.
GANDER-DAVID
Really, what did it look like.
PINKY
Like your eyes, blue so blue! I
now feel so connected with you and
the universe!
GANDER-DAVID
Thank you PINKY thats very
profound. Do you have gifts for
us?
PINKY
(Uncontrolled giggling) Yes, they
are my children, (Giggle)I call
them mellow yellow and mellow
yellow amber.
PINKY swaying back and forth to an unheard rhythm.
ECHOING LAUGHTER, DISTANT MUSIC.
PINKY
(whispering to themselves)
Whoa... the walls, man. They're
alive!
PINKY reaches out, attempting to touch the walls, but
their hand passes through the air.
MILTON COBO
DAVID I think we better put in our
nose filters.
GANDER-DAVID
Might be an idea!
PINKY
(Continuing to giggle) Like, I can
feel the universe, you know? I
built a display man, its so cool!
A kaleidoscope of colours fills the room. The posters on
the wall seem to come to life, their images shifting and
morphing. The music becomes louder and more distorted.
WIND CHIMES, CLOUD SYNTHESIS
PINKY
(Laughing, talking to the posters)
You guys are amazing! Dance with
me!
PINKY begins to dance with the imaginary figures on the
posters, their movements fluid and dreamlike.
GANDER-DAVID
Get off me I told you I was upset
with your bad behaviour!
PINKY
But I love you! (Giggling)
MILTON COBO
PINKY can we take your children?
PINKY's perspective starts to warp. The room seems to
stretch and contract. Time feels distorted.
PINKY
(Slowed speech) Oh, yes, yes
(Sudden mood change) Is this real,
or...?
PINKY's laughter turns into a mix of laughter and tears.
PINKY
(Tearfully) I... I see the beauty
in everything, man, even your ugly
face man!
MILTON COBO
Thank you PINKY, thats very kind,
now I'm just taking you gifts for
us?
PINKY gazes at two objects on the floor, like two
beautiful pebbles, as if they holds the secrets of the
universe.
PINKY
The secret is in these man, I made
them for you! My children. It's
mellow man, really, really,
mellow!
MILTON COBO
Thank you, PINKY, most kind of
you, we will enjoy them!
PINKY
I love you man!
MILTON COBO and GANDER-DAVID start to back out of the
room.
MILTON COBO
Thank you PINKY, we need to go to
meditate on the universe!
PINKY
It's so cool man, so vast man.
MILTON COBO
Thank you PINKY, we will leave you
to your thoughts.
PINKY
Its so mellow...
PINKY falls to the ground and shuts his eyes
MILTON COBO
Lets go, otherwise we're going to
be completely gah, gah, like him.
GANDER-DAVID
Are you sure we should we leave
him?
MILTON COBO
You want to stay?
GANDER-DAVID
God, no, but I think his trip is
twisting!
PINKY's trip takes a darker turn. They become paranoid
and anxious.
PINKY
(Whispering, eyes darting) Do you
hear that? They're watching us.
PINKY glances around the room, seeing imaginary threats
in the shadows.
GANDER-DAVID
Shush, rest, listen to my voice,
you're feeling tired, very tired.
No one is watching, we are here to
protect you!
PINKY's trip starts to mellow out. He lies down on the
floor, staring up at the ceiling.
PINKY
(Smiling, peacefully) I've seen it
all, man. Life is... wow.
PINKY closes their eyes, lost in their hallucinogenic
experience. As the Airlock door closes!
EXT. NEW LONDON - OUTSIDE HABITAT - THE VOID'S
EMBRACE
(GANDER-DAVID, JACINTA, MILTON COBO, RUDI, SPACE TRAFFIC
CONTROLLER)
GANDER-DAVID, RUDI, JACINTA & MILTON COBO are making a
spacewalk to gain access to the underside of the
spaceport and therby get into the bulkhead spaces behind
the retrograde. This is a dramatic spacewalk and break in
back to the habitat.
Suspended in the inky blackness of space, JACINTA, RUDI,
MILTON and GANDER-DAVID are surrounded by a mesmerising
panorama of stars. They twinkle like a thousand distant
candles, their ethereal glow casting soft, shimmering
light on your spacesuit.
The habitat itself stretches out in both directions, an
immense, intricate webwork of metal and glass. Massive
solar arrays glisten in the sunlight, in the far
distance, their surfaces covered in a delicate tracery of
frost. The habitat's cylindrical shape extends far into
the distance, its dimensions so vast that it seems to
stretch to infinity, disappearing into the cosmic void.
The small spacesuits, tethered to the habitat by a sturdy
umbilical cords, pulled tight by the corollas force, the
only connection keeping their souls from the abyss. The
silence is absolute, a profound hush that amplifies every
breath you they within their helmets.
It's as if they're suspended in a sea of diamonds, each
one a brilliant reminder of the infinite beauty of the
cosmos.
RADIO CLICK AND STATIC
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) I really don't feel
safe! This is like hanging from a
cliff face. Ahhh! I feel sick!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Concentrate on your
hands, don't look at the stars!
This is your first spacewalk
Earthworm. Remember what I told
you training, deliberate movements
no fast moves, and you'll do just
fine.
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Otvali! {Piss Off}
Arrgh! (Sick sounds)
RUDI
(Radio voice) Nanofrag! JACINTA
where did we find these two?
JACINTA
In the gutter on Windmanstatten!
GANDER-DAVID moves ungracefully, with low precision.
Anyone from a distance can tell it's the moves of a total
space rube!
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Argh(Sick sound)
Fuck! I hate this.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) Stop making sick
noises! Your making me feel bad
too, I can almost smell it!
(Cough) I think some prose might
assist.
In the silent void, where stars ignite,
Two souls in suits of gleaming white.
They venture forth, where no path's known,
A cosmic waltz in the great unknown.
With tethers tight, they float as one,
A dance of Earth and moon and sun.
Their helmets gleam, reflecting light,
In the velvet darkness of the endless night.
GANDER-DAVID
MILTON! Not helping!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) RUDI please take the
utility knife and stab my suit, it
will put me out of my misery!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Nanofrag, if I have
to listen to it, so do you. DAVID
use the barf bag and if you puke
into the suits, you're going to
clean them out!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) I'm going (cough)
Argh (Sick sound)
RUDI
(Radio voice) Jeez! JACINTA how
close are we to opening the lock,
we have a two really bad puckers
out here.
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI I'm coming by, oh watch out!
GANDER-DAVID nods, trying to follow JACINTA's lead. As
they float near a repair site on the habitat's exterior,
GANDER-DAVID clumsily bumps into a fragile-looking piece
of equipment. It breaks loose.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Bugger, he's managed
to release by tether!
The equipment falls away and hits the release latch on
RUDI's tether.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Shit. No panic,
JACINTA I'm on retros, we will
need to do a Thomson manoeuvre.
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Roger, I'll play out
my tether to max, get some good
tension in the tape.
JACINTA, opens her spool and slowly runs to the end of
her spool, the tape swings tight.
JACINTA
Aright! Showing about 0.8 Gees and
its tight!
RUDI mean while is flung off out into space and is
difficult to see!
GANDER-DAVID
RUDI, where are you. Are you OK,
I'm so sorry!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Relax DAVID I'm fine
I'm killing velocity going to
slowly make my way back to the
station and intercept JACINTA's
tether. It's called a Thompson!
Going to be out wait for a whole
rotation, be a few minutes!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) How the gas holding,
space cowgirl!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Good, I'm taking it
easy. I'm more worried about port
control picking me up!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Tell them we are on
a military training exercise.
Which is sort of true.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice)(Cough) Tell them we
have requisition 35234, got that.
It should keep them guessing.
State you have permission to
conduct near habitat boarding
exercises!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Do we?
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) No of course not.
RUDI
(Radio voice) OK, comms will be
getting laggy as I will be going
into the habitats shadow.
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Ping me as soon as
we come back into view, I'll
activate the glow lights in the
tether.
RUDI
Roger! (Signal breaking up and
(Radio voice) having digital
interference).
SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROLLER
Unidentified EVA, this is New
London Control. Please identify
yourself and state your
intentions.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Military EVA suit,
ah 3723 control, this is an
clocked operation, transponder is
switched to encrypt, currently
conduct habitat boarding exercise
at 23 13-40 hull section, spin
ward. We have not filed a plan due
to security level. Currently
running Thompson manoeuvre. Over!
SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROLLER
(Radio voice) EVA 3723, thank you
for the information. Please squawk
transponder code 1200 for CSFR
(Clear Space Flight Rules) and
proceed to hold your current
position. We will need some
additional information before you
can proceed further.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Thats a negative on
that control, we have clearance on
requisition 35234. We have
military quantum radar and we take
responsibility for avoidance of
traffic lanes.
SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROLLER
(Radio voice) EVA 3723, its very
non standard. We are logging and
will like make a complaint. Please
continue to maintain your current
altitude and the Thompson.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Sorry, I'm under
orders. Will shortly have
completed Thompson and plan to
ingress habitat!
SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROLLER
(Radio voice) Roger! We will work
on coordinating your entry into
our port space and ensure a safe
transition.
JACINTA
You signal strength is returning!
RUDI
Yeah, had a nice chit chat with
Space Traffic Control, needless to
say they're not happy.
JACINTA
Told you! OK tether lights on.
Can you see it.
RUDI
In the distance, shit this habitat
is cruising. OK I have the drag
carabiners as a quick draw, you
braced.
JACINTA
As I'll ever be.
GANDER-DAVID
Whats happening?
JACINTA
RUDI's positioned stationary in
space whilst the station comes
around, she'll intercept the
tether and use it to accelerate
herself back up to spin.
GANDER-DAVID
It sounds really dangerous.
JACINTA
It could be, but we do this at
space school, standard stuff.
RUDI
OK getting ready. Arghhh!
SOUNDS OF TETHER AND EXERTIONS THEN SPOOLING NOISES
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Argh, that was
exhilarating!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Tell me about it.
I'll see you at the lock! I rather
enjoyed it! I still have my space
legs.
JACINTA
(Radio voice) I'm pulling in, but
I need to reduce my vectors, I'm
coming in hot!
REACTION THRUSTERS
JACINTA
(Radio voice) OK, dampening
movement.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Thank maritsuba for
that, as much as I like a stroll
in the park, I'm glad I have this
military grade stuff.
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) RUDI, I'm really
sorry. I'm an idiot!
RUDI
(Radio voice) It's OK, bit of a
close shave and the adrenaline was
zinging for a bit, but everyones
safe so were good.
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Bloody Earthworm's,
they're so useless in space!
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Well, I'd like to
see you on Earth JACINTA, see how
you do in the backstreet of
Budapest at one gee!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Yeah, well, were not
in 'Budapest" are we, we're
hanging off a space habitat.
RUDI
(Radio voice) JACINTA stop that,
don't be nastier than you need to
be. It wasn't intentional. Now, if
we could turn our attention to why
we are here! Lets get the nanofrag
airlock open, shall we!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) It's not that easy,
its solid, Probably a little
vacuum welding. It hasn't been
opened in years, the servo's are
locked solid, going to have to go
mechanical override.
RUDI
(Radio voice) MILTON, can you give
JACINTA a hand, we need extra mass
to turn a lever! Also give her
some dust and vacuum release agent
dispersant SD40, its in utility
pack!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) Is it this stuff?
RUDI
(Radio voice) What does it say on
the tin?!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) SD40!
RUDI
(Radio voice) MILTON, you're about
as much use as a grease nipple on
a space bearing!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) (Chuckle) So RUDI,
now you're seeing the problems
with these rubes!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Get on with it!
Here, catch!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) It's JACINTA on
first base! Yay! What a catch and
the Earthworms are still on the
plate!
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Who was on first
base.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) No who is on second?
RUDI
(Radio voice) What!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) Never mind its an
old Earth joke! Just being
useless!
SHAKING OF CAN AND SPRAY SOUND
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Come on, you
bastard, open up!
HEAVY CLUNK THEN GRINDING NOISE AND MORE SPRAYING
JACINTA
(Radio voice) When you have quite
finished with the puking, it might
be helpful if I had some help on
this lever.
METALIC GROWNING AND KNOCKING.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) You said I was
useless, no you want help!
JACINTA
We need to extra mass, and thats
one thing you can add to the
party!
MILTON COBO
Steady on! Keep it the noise down,
I don't want to tee up the bad
guys!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) (Chuckle) They'll
just think its more ghosts! Come
on Grandpa, get your back into it,
its vacuum welded.
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Arghhh! Shit!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) This is good!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) What, arghhh!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) It means that its
not used!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) RUDI, could you
please have a word with your
warren mate, she has behaving
disrespectfully towards me and
DAVID! She was exhibiting illegal
planetism.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Nothing to do with
me!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) You cry baby,
running to mummy!
RUDI
(Radio voice) Now hang on there,
I'm not old enough to be a mum!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) You think!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) Well, whatever! I
might be a rotten Earthworm, but
I'm paying you and this is my
operation! Besides who got the
suits?
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Well grandpa I'm
only doing it cos I hate those
GAMBINO bastards, I'm donating the
pay to the warren fund! But I will
give you credit on these suits,
they're sweet as! Can we keep
them.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) No, the CIS will
activate the code locks, they'll
stop working!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Grandpa, chill,
take the red pill!
The door lever suddenly starts to move with a groan and
the lock releases and JACINTA winds it open.
CREAKING GROAN METAL ON METAL
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) I'm going in!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Hang on not so fast,
I just want to check the dust!
JACINTA gets her flash light and looks at the floor.
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Looks good, no
footprints! OK get in!
They all get in the lock and JACINTA starts winding the
handle back to close the outer door.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Wait! JACINTA, spray
some IP5 Teflon on the outer seal!
We might need to exit super fast!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Thanks! (Spraying),
sweet! Got it!
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Your not filling me
with confidence!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Thats not my job
Gospondin, I just work for the
man, talk to MILTON!
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) So when we're past
the inner doors keep icy, could be
CIS, could be GAMBINO's!
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Great, what do I hit
them with, my tether!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) I don't know if we
will have air on the lower levels
and even if we do it might be
stale, so keep your helmets on
until I check!
JACINTA moves and gas tap and there is a hissing sound.
HISSING GROWING LOUDER AS PRESSURE BUILDS
JACINTA
(Radio voice) Good we have normal
pressure. (Bleeping of gas meter).
Looking good its a normal air
mixture. OK we are equalised so
I'm opening the door. Do not
unlatch your helmet, the vent fans
will be off and there will be
pockets of carbon dioxide.
RUDI
(Radio voice) Need I say team, its
important to keep the noise down,
move slowly and deliberately, and
don't knock anything. Use the
Infra red.
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Did you pack the
infra red torches?
RUDI
(Radio voice) Its the switch
marked "L" in your control panel,
move it to position IR.
GANDER-DAVID
(Radio voice) Neat, these suits
are cool!
RUDI
(Radio voice) CIS is always happy
to spend taxpayers credits DAVID.
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) Shit! I'm seeing an
operative around every corner,
possibly closely followed by
GAMBINO's thugs! It's actually
bloody spooky down here. I can
see why space jocks belive in
ghosts!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) MILTON, look at the
floor, do you see footprints?
MILTON COBO
(Radio voice) No, thank goodness!
JACINTA
(Radio voice) OK then. I think
the CIS would only stay up at
level five or six, they would have
no need to be down in the lower
levels. Airs good, we can undog!
HELMETS BEING RAISED
RUDI
Ahhh! Its smell good, slightly
musty. Watch for carbon dioxide
build up!
MILTON COBO
So what now? What do you
recommend?
RUDI
Well, we need to find a locker
room and change outfits, we can't
explore the internal corridors in
these suits. We need a secure
base of operations.
JACINTA
Let me see. (Bleeping) OK, we need
to go to the next level and then
through this internal pressure
door and we should see an
ancillary locker room. Can you see
here RUDI!
JACINTA shows RUDI the display on her sleeve.
RUDI
Sounds like a plan, I think thats
our best option. Lead on MacDuff!
JACINTA
What?
RUDI
Never mind!
TIMEPASSING
SOUND OF SUITS BEING STRIPPED OFF
The team strips off their spacesuits and connects them to
the specially shaped hangers.
JACINTA
Here let me show you! You hang
the collar stud on this locator
pin and stretch the arms out to
these spring holders.
GANDER-DAVID
Like this?
JACINTA
Yeah, now pick up the freshener
vent tubes and drop one into each
leg. OK good. RUDI we're ready.
MILTON COBO
RUDI, are you sure they won't come
down here?
RUDI
Who, the CIS, I don't think so,
they will have come in at sub
level five and above. They'll
think the lower levels are likely
to be off limits and possibly in
vacuum, why would they come down
here, no need. Relax we're good
for now. As soon as we get above
seven, thats when we need to get
jumpy OK!
JACINTA
There is another pressure door, I
will change the access codes to
one, one, one, one! They would
never use such an obvious code.
Cracking it will hold them up for
a few minutes.
RUDI
JACINTA, might be an idea to take
that gun, could slow them down, if
they see us!
JACINTA
Need you ask, do you think I'm
stupid?
RUDI
Jeez, only asking. You're spiky
this morning!
JACINTA
Excuse me, I just has to execute a
level one space recovery, deal
with Earth pukers and then enter
this place!
Which by the way gives me the
creeps and then on top of it all I
have the other thing.
RUDI
What other thing, (pause) ahhh,
Aunt Erma?
JACINTA
Yes, now nanofrag off!
GANDER-DAVID
Want to borrow my barf bag
JACINTA.
JACINTA
No, you can nanofrag off too! Come
on lets get moving, I'm getting
cold!
MILTON COBO
So I think we split up into two
teams. RUDI you come with me.
JACINTA you go with DAVID. We're
going to do the low corridors and
tap security feeds. Can you guys
have a crack at VINCENT's bedroom
on spin ward? See if you can't
find a way to plant bugs.
JACINTA
I really don't want to see that
bastards bedroom.
MILTON COBO
Its got to be you two! You're
smaller than me and RUDI, the
crawl spaces will be tight!
RUDI
Hay, you calling me fat!
MILTON COBO
No, of course not! (Pause) Just
well proportioned, due to your
musculature!
RUDI
Really?, MILTON you're sailing
close to the wind!
JACINTA
You sure you two are not married?
EMPTY AMBIENCE SPOOKY
