Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
A03-E24 - Ice Ball Party
The sudden return of Everywhen presents an opportunity to investigate a comet.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
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S3-E24-ICEBALL PARTY
INT. THE PICNIC - 1 - 5
LOCATION: Dirkson Lanes - Public Area
SOPHIE is working CHRISTOPHER very hard using the secret
weapon of a picnic. The poor boy opens up about the
comet and how it will go very close to Earth around the
4th of July. SOPHIE relays this information back to RUDI
and GANDER.
CHRISTOPHER
This place is so beautiful SOPHIE
how did you know about it?
SOPHIE
Oh, a friend told me that this
level in the lanes has some lovely
forest and some great picnic
spots. They have a small area
where they cultivate alpine
flowers
CHRISTOPHER
Oh really I wonder if I can see
some Edelweiss?
SOPHIE
How romantic!
CHRISTOPHER
Yes ah, well!
SOPHIE
So CHRISTOPHER tell me more about
your fascinating research?
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, SOPHIE, this is just so lovely
and you even have my favourite
Roquefort and Sauternes
combination. How did you know?
SOPHIE
Oh CHRISTOPHER, your not the only
one who can do research. You have
your eyes on the stars, but I have
my eyes on you!
CHRISTOPHER
Oh!
SOPHIE
Don't look so startled you big
silly.
I noticed that you are in the
Columbus wine club. So I just
asked one of the other member's.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, that is so very clever SOPHIE.
Mmmmm this is so good! I haven't
had this in years, not since
arriving at Columbus. It must
have been very, very expensive.
SOPHIE
Oh, well, I had a friend help out.
She doesn't mind the cost, she has
plenty of money (Grimacing
thinking of GANDER and the
inevitable, it 'cost how much'
speech) Now CHRISTOPHER you just
settle down and enjoy every
mouthful. Let me massage you
shoulders, oh they are so very
tense.
CHRISTOPHER
Ohhh!
SOPHIE
Now take it easy I don't want you
to choke! You know you have a
very interesting mouth.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, I do? What's wrong with it?
SOPHIE
Oh, nothing wrong, it's just its
so sweet how you nibble at the
cheese like a little mouse!
CHRISTOPHER
Argh hum! I see. Well, I'm not
sure how to take that!
SOPHIE
Well, you should be very
flattered, its nice to see a man
who doesn't speak with their mouth
full and who eats so tidily. Now
you were saying about your
research?
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, yes, its been so bad, this
stupid comet. They have cancelled
all observations times, whilst
they focus on the stupid thing.
SOPHIE
Why are they so interested?
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, well I shouldn't say, its top
secret!
SOPHIE
But its only me CHRISTOPHER, you
know I wouldn't talk about this to
anyone else!
CHRISTOPHER
Of course SOPHIE! Oh you are so
good at the massage. Ohhhh! That's
good.
SOPHIE
You are so tense, all that staring
through telescopes its not good
for your neck.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, we don't do that any more
SOPHIE its all electronic, I just
look at screens and VR.
SOPHIE
Well, that's even worse for you,
its not healthy.
CHRISTOPHER
You are so kind!
SOPHIE
So what did they see that really
upset them.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, well, its strange they saw
lights and men, someone was up
there messing around!
SOPHIE
What do you mean messing around?
CHRISTOPHER
Well, they are changing the orbit.
SOPHIE
Why would they do that?
CHRISTOPHER
Well we don't know of course, but
what we do know, is that it is
going to pass very close to the
Earth Moon system, its potentially
dangerous.
We called the CIS two days ago.
They are attempting to set up an
interception fleet.
SOPHIE
What? That sounds scary.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, yes very. Its going to be
difficult for them as this comet
is hyperbolic, very fast as it
gets towards the Sun.
SOPHIE
Oh, look CHRISTOPHER I need a
little pee, pee, I'm just nipping
over to that tree, now don't you
look.
CHRISTOPHER
Oh, I would never do that.
SOPHIE goes to tree and pretends to pee.
SOPHIE
SHAS, you there?
SHARROW
Yes of course. How's the lover
gurl picnic going?
SOPHIE
SHARROW, Are you envious?
SHARROW
Yes, well, no, oh I don't know! I
did want some of that cheese
though, GANDER's going to have an
embolism over the cost.
SOPHIE
Well, she can embolism away
because I have big news for you!
SHARROW
Oh, what has he told you!
SOPHIE
Get this, there are people on the
comet, and they are messing with
the orbit as we suspected. What
you don't know is its going
dangerously close to the Earth.
They have told the CIS and they
are flapping around trying to get
an interception fleet to head off
the comet.
SHARROW
Shit, Good work, This is going to
cause a stir. OK dump lover boy
and get back here as soon as you
can.
SOPHIE
I'm going to let him down gently
SHARROW, he is very sweet. I
don't want to hurt him.
SHARROW
OK, but don't take to long about
it. The shit is going to hit the
fan!
INT. PRODICAL SON - 1 - 5.1
LOCATION: Retrograde - SOPHIE's old Room
ALEX is startled by the sudden return of EVERYWHEN after
being away for weeks. EVERYWHEN informs ALEX that she
has discovered some disturbing information on Earth but
is not yet in a position to tell. ALEX explains SHARROW
and SOPHIE's relationship. They go to the bar where
unfortunately EVERYWHEN learns of cockney rhyming slang.
She also learns of the comet situation. She immediately
sends out several micro wormholes to investigate and
finds men and machinery on the surface of the comet with
rocket thrusters altering the trajectory of the comet.
She also determines that there is a high probability of
comet calving (breaking apart). EVERYWHEN commiserates
with them the loss of the their parent planet, but is
reluctant to do anything to help.
RETRO DOOR
EVERYWHEN
Hi Alex, how have you been?
ALEX
Wow! Oh, Jesus, don't do that, you
scared the hell out of me! Where
the hell have you been? I've been
calling you for days. You really
are most annoying creature, when
you just ignore me.
EVERYWHEN
Yes I know, very sorry, but I was
highly engaged in some important
research for myself and also for
human race. I needed to continue
to a conclusion, and also set up
subsidiary sub minds for each
major incident site.
ALEX
What! (Pause) Jeez that sounds
serious, what have you found?
EVERYWHEN
All, in good time my friend. I
need to further corroborate
different data sources before
explaining. I want to get my
facts straight. (Pause) So lets
focus on the now shall we! I
detected increased data traffic,
hence my return.
ALEX
Well, we really need you buddy, we
have a big crisis brewing and
there are implications possibly
affecting even yourself.
EVERYWHEN
OK, I doubt that, but I'm
listening. Sat, how about we go
down to the social space you call
the small bar, its more conducive
to conversation and I can say hi
to GHOST?
ALEX
Sounds like a plan. Look we need
to bring in SHARROW on any
discussions and also possibly
SOPHIE. (Pause) Say did you know
that SHAS and SOPHIE are a thing.
EVERYWHEN
A thing. Ah, do you mean engaged
in, (pause while he finds the
right word) Biologically trans
verging coatis!
ALEX
(Burst out laughing) Oh you really
crack me up, you really do.
That's the best term for their
relationship I have heard. Ever!
BTC, whatever! Say, between you
and me, I think its really sweet,
but what ever you say, don't let
them know that. OK! Wouldn't want
to crack to old sarcastic ALEX
shell. Also, if I encourage them,
who knows what might happen. They
have already got to the quilting
stage.
EVERYWHEN
Quilting. Sounds serious? Is it a
biological process, there is
nothing in my records.
ALEX
Buddy its more serious than even
that!
EVERYWHEN
What you mean they are going to
merge and hybridise?
ALEX
What. (Pause) No, reset. Forget
the biological stuff, I'll explain
later.
EVERYWHEN
OK, if as you say it has negative
connotations I will do all I can
to prevent this 'quilting'. I
find the twists and turns of your
social nexi, most fascinating,
it's really causing a very sparse
networks. It's delicious, I do
like sparse networks. I'm
learning so much.
ALEX
Yes, well better still follow my
lead, your networks might not have
quite reached there full, ah,
sparseness yet. OK?
EVERYWHEN
Oh, the gradients of the
algorithms are very exciting.
ALEX
Well if you say so buddy, but I
need a beer, and that means we
head down to the bar!
EVERYWHEN
I find the stimulation of that
space most pleasing.
ALEX
You and me both buddy, now lets
go. I think SHAS is already down
there.
TIME PASSING
SHARROW and SOPHIE are in a cubby in the small bar.
SHARROW
Oh, look what the cat dragged in!
EVERYWHEN
I was not deposited by a feline
predator? Given my planet sized
A.I. Status I find that most
unlikely.
SHARROW
No, I didn't mean that. EVERYWHEN
look up colloquialisms. You need
to learn those. Can you add them
to the matrix?
EVERYWHEN
Oh, this is exciting, more
complexity.
ALEX
He is positively foaming at his
wormholes. Whilst I appear to be
very dry around my mouth parts.
SOPHIE
Doesn't seem to stop you talking
though does it?
SHARROW
(Laughter) You know ALEX I think
she finally starting to get the
measure of you!
ALEX
What, that's not right. Two of
you, ganging up. OK beer. (Pause)
So where is the ZEDmister.
SHARROW
Oh, programming something, I
think, he has been trying to clear
up comet images with CHEN.
EVERYWHEN
Maybe I can assist, my pattern
recognition is legendary.
SHARROW
Yes that might be helpful
EVERYWHEN.
ALEX
Images?
SHARROW
Yes the images DOILY sent back,
they are not great.
ALEX please keep up, we have found
men and machines on that comet.
ALEX
What?
SHARROW
Yes old SOPHIE here did a sterling
number on the astronomer and he
cracked like an open oyster. Tell
them SOPHIE.
SOPHIE
Yes well, I used my secret weapon
of a picnic and French cheese and
a matching wine. It definitely
seduced my CHRISTOPHER!
ALEX
Oh CHRISTOPHER! You got
competition now SHAS!
SHARROW
Now don't you start!
SOPHIE
Yes well he told me they have seen
people and machinery on the comet
and its orbit has changed and it s
going to hit the Earth!
ALEX
Sorry, say that again! No wait
hang on. Did you say hit the
Earth.
SHARROW
Slight exaggeration, there SOPHIE.
SOPHIE
Well, it might hit the Earth.
SHARROW
Well, there is a big difference.
EVERYWHEN
Hang on let me check. (Pause) Oh,
yes it could hit the Earth.
SHARROW
How do you know?
EVERYWHEN
Oh, I just popped on to the
surface and had a look. I
measured the centre of mass and
then calculated the potential
orbits.
It does assume that the rockets
keep thrusting. SHARROW, why do
they want to hit the Earth with a
comet. That is very sub optimal
for the human race.
ALEX
Hang on hold the conversation, I
really need a beer!
SHARROW
I'll have a refresh ALEX.
SOPHIE
And me please!
ALEX
OK, beers all rounds then.
ALEX goes to bar and grabs some beers.
EVERYWHEN
So I don't understand, this makes
no sense.
ALEX
It makes perfect sense! Look
EVERYWHEN humans are unstable. We
are primitive creatures, sometimes
we have throw backs. These people
only think of themselves.
EVERYWHEN
That is very sad, my
commiseration's for you, your home
planet will be a big loss. I am
saddened by the early termination
of my wine characterisation
program, most regrettable.
ALEX
Well, we can have one last bottle
old buddy, because when the CIS
swarm over New London, completely
pissed off over the early
destruction of the good old home
world. Wine will be the least of
our worries.
INT. ICEBALL PARTY- 1-6
Alex realises that the only possible way to move the
comet and prevent a catastrophe on Earth is to persuade
EVERYWHEN to use the wormhole tech to transport a small
party to the comet and somehow effect an orbit change.
EVERYWHEN initially is very reluctant and refuses.
Alex pleads and points out that the wine project will be
unfinished if the worlds wine stock is wiped out.
EVERYWHEN relents but with strict constraints and will
not be involved in directly moving the comet as she fears
the unspecified ancient foe might detect large
gravimetric disturbances. This means wormholes are
limited to one meter diameter maximum and for the
shortest possible time and no time travel. With these
constraints in mind EVERYWHEN offers her help.
GANDER
So let me get this right?
EVERYWHEN, has determined that the
comet will hit the Earth, but he
refuses to do anything to help us?
SHARROW
Well, kind of. She says its 35%
possible direct hit to Earth, but
a 95% probability of calving. She
says he wants to help, but she has
to be very, very careful.
Especially in the use of wormholes
and definitely no time like
curves, what ever that means.
SOPHIE
I think she means time travel.
SHARROW
Look why don't we get her to
explain, I'll get her on the
communicator. (Clicks of
intercom) EVERYWHEN I have GANDER
here and also RUDI could you run
through your thinking on this
comet situation.
EVERYWHEN
Yes of course, good morning Ms
Kosciolek and Ms Rudetski!
RUDI
EVERYWHEN please call us GANDER
and RUDI its so much easier.
EVERYWHEN
Thank you, well, you have to
understand the larger context
against which I view these events,
and in fact all events, in this
light cone. Now when we ported in
to this solar system some two
million of your years ago, my
friend and I were attacked by a
hostile gravimetric pulse.
This caused a distortion of the
wormhole fields leading to a
system crash and shutdown. My
friend was flung out into deep
space, and I assumed the default
storage profile. What you don't
know is that I suspect this
entity, has left gravimetric
sensors in this solar system to
monitor activity. Any excessive
use of worm holes could possible
trigger an alarm situation and our
nightmare entity gates in. This
could also easily mean the end for
the human race. This is why I
have been very careful in the use
of my powers. I would think that
awakening this other entity may be
suboptimal for the current state
of you civilisation. Obviously
first time around it could not
find me as I crashed into an ice
asteroid and this shielded me from
its sensors and additionally was
in a shutdown mode. Its probably
gone elsewhere, but if I was it, I
would have left sensors and
alarms.
RUDI
OK, agreed so would I. I can
understand your reluctance to use
the wormhole generator. How do
you know the potential motivations
for this other entity?
EVERYWHEN
Well, that is what I have been
trying to determine. I will talk
about that later but first I think
I need to assist you with this
comet situation.
RUDI
Well any help will be gratefully
received.
ALEX
Yes it would be good to see you
flex your little pixie butt.
EVERYWHEN
Oh don't worry ALEX I will flex my
butt in your general direction and
you will feel the backwash!
ALEX
I'm not sure how to take that
EVERYWHEN, but for now I will
accept it as a compliment.
SHARROW
(Snigger)
EVERYWHEN
So as I was explaining, wormhole
generators will inevitably produce
gravimetric waves, these could be
detected. However the smaller the
gate dimensions, the less likely
it is that detection will occur.
This is why I have been using
micro wormholes, to purse hobbies,
and other things with few
concerns.
SHARROW
OK, so how can we get you to
assist in this comet disaster?
EVERYWHEN
Well, when I first was made aware,
of the astronomical object, I sent
out a series of micro wormholes
with sensors, to more accurately
assess the orbit. I thought that
this comet might be a trojan horse
for this other entity. I was
relieved to discover it is being
moved by humans. The concerned is
that it may cause a political
disruption and that may trigger
our hidden entity. This is why I
think we need to take mitigation
actions before any civilizational
level changes. In other words, we
don't want to rock the boat.
GANDER
OK, so what do you have in mind?
EVERYWHEN
Well, a couple of things actually!
SHARROW
That sounds interestingly vague!
RUDI
Interesting good or interesting
bad?
EVERYWHEN
You'll see!
INT. WORMHOLE PREP -1 - 6.1
LOCATION: Retrograde - Vacuum Bay Alpha
EVERYWHEN discusses how to use the wormhole she is making
to transport JACINTA to get DOILY and crew.
EVERYWHEN
So do you understand the mission?
You understand that I have to keep
the wormhole to one meter maximum
to prevent excessive gravimetric
radiation.
JACINTA
Yes EVERYWHEN, stop fussing, its
not that difficult!
SHARROW
We are not going to get irradiated
like before are we?
ALEX
Why couldn't I go!
JACINTA
I suspect that you might not past
the airlock door, given the past
(cough) relationship frictions.
ALEX
Come on! I'm not that bad.
Seriously!
EVERYWHEN
Ms SHARROW, the previous wormhole
was merely a crude calibration
distortion, requiring minimal
processing power to hold. Designed
primarily for opening in the
vicinity of neutron stars. Now
with that field, the lack of
extreme gravity at termination end
B, allowed for over dilation of
the boundary conditions. That is
why there was excessive
irradiation of the Retrograde.
This wormhole will be a more
nuanced affair. Controlled by my
central nervous system, its chalk
and cheese.
SHARROW
You seem to be getting the hang of
those colloquialisms.
EVERYWHEN
Oh Yes Ms SHARROW I find them most
stimulating.
ALEX
If you tell him about cockney
rhyming slang I will personally
scream!
EVERYWHEN
Cockney slang, I am scanning and
absorbing, oh, interesting, oh
parsing. Now 'its all apples and
pears Mary' so you still need to
stand back as the edge effect
fields are very dangerous, they
cannot intersect matter.
GANDER
What the hell is she on about?
RUDI
I'll tell you in a minute GANDER,
she is just playing with some
rhyming slang.
GANDER
Dah, my English is not good, but
this is not a good time for
confusion.
ALEX
GANDER its not English its
Cockney! I can't even understand
it, so its not your English
language skills, believe me.
GANDER
Bah, Trackamina
EVERYWHEN
I will manifest the distortion
three meters off the bay floor,
the bay will be in vacuum. This
scaffolding and my sliding table
system will propel Ms JACINTA to
enter the worm hole dead centre.
As soon as she is through I close
the hole.
SHARROW
The other end is 15 light seconds
away, does that matter.
EVERYWHEN
No not really because in effect
I'm pulling the other bit of space
so that it is pushed right up to
this space, much less than an
atoms thickness, its down at the
quantum foam level. I will however
have to concentrate because we are
in an inertial frame that is
moving. I need to bleed the
velocities into hyperspace very
carefully so that the wormhole can
match velocities. It's not easy,
we don't want undue shear stress.
SHARROW
What happens then?
EVERYWHEN
Oh, that's easy, Ms Jacinta will
be sliced up like a salami sausage
in a Einstein meat grinder!
SHARROW
Ah, OK, I wish I haven'd asked.
JACINTA
What was that SHARROW I can't hear
with this helmet on!
SHARROW
Oh, nothing! Just chit chat.
EVERYWHEN, so how did you and your
alien friend do it all those years
ago?
EVERYWHEN
Oh, we just used our anti gravity
suits.
SHARROW
Oh, dear god, we must be like
really, really primitive monkeys
to you!
EVERYWHEN
Yes you are, and rather ugly and
hairless ones at that, but that
doesn't mean we can't be friends
does it!
SHARROW
Ah, I hope not no! (Pause) OK let
me try this one on yah! It's a
'right pimple and blotch!
EVERYWHEN
Laughter. Oh very good I get it.
Cockney slang is so good!
JACINTA
When you two are quite finished,
with the chit chat, I'm sweating
like a pig in this suit. Get on
with it!
GANDER
JACINTA I want you to have your
helmet cam running, I want to see
DOILYS face. (Laughter) This is
going to be good.
RUDI
Yep can you put it on push to all
of us.
JACINTA
You know she will kick my arse
over this.
RUDI
Yes of course, but, its an order,
so you had no choice did you! You
can blame me!
JACINTA
You think that will make any
difference.
EVERYWHEN
OK wormhole is initiated, and
stabilised. Please go through Ms
JACINTA.
The frame moves and JACINTA and part of the frame
disappears from the vacuum bay.
GANDER
Is she all right.
EVERYWHEN
As far as I can tell.
DOOR KNOCKING -1 -6.2
Location: Space Near Indifference to Reason
They need to get the personal on the picket ship back to
base to assist with the main expedition to the comet.
JACINTA travels through a small wormhole to the ships
location in deep space. JACINTA just knocks on the
airlock door and scares the shit out of DOILY.
DOILY and CHEN wormhole back to base whilst GHOST pilots
the ship back.
METALLIC KNOCKING
DOILY
Jesus what was that!
CHEN
It's not me.
GHOST
My sensors indicate that it came
from outside the hull, on the lock
door.
DOILY
What the f** we are in deep space.
It could be the CIS. Shit. Let me
through. I want to look out the
lock window.
CHEN
What can you see, could we use the
tail camera's
DOILY
Yes we can, but that's option B.
The suit looks familiar, Its the
same brand that the Cherries use.
Oh its seen me coming up to the
window. Well I'll be dipped in
shit.
GHOST
Can I do the dipping?
DOILY
Its JACINTA, what the hell is she
doing out there. GHOST Open the
outer door.
GHOST
Roger.
DOILY
It's definitely JACINTA, what the
hell is she doing out here in deep
space?
GHOST
Well, I suggest you ask her?
DOOR LOCK
DOILY
Hello, what the hell are you doing
here? I didn't see a ship on the
radar?
JACINTA
Well, I was just strolling by and
thought I would pop in for tea.
DOILY
Where the f* where is your ship?
JACINTA
I don't have one.
DOILY
Sorry? What?
JACINTA
This is good, so good, the look on
you face. (Laughter) I'm am going
to play this over and over. Ahh!
DOILY
It's not funny, I nearly shat in
my suit.
JACINTA
Well, I know you navy pilots can't
cut the mustard but incontinence,
very smelly.
DOILY
Oh, so how would you like to take
a stroll outside, Army Gurl!
JACINTA
I might just do that, its crowded
and smelly in here with all you
pukes. (Laughter). OK seriously
DOILY, calm down I'm on a mission.
DOILY
Dah you think! Look I know we are
under radio silence but this is
piss poor communications.
JACINTA
Yeah, well the best laid plans and
all that. (Pause) CHEN, GHOST how
are you. (Pause) So listen up we
have a new mission. You're
probably not going to like this.
But orders are orders. So RUDI
and GANDER have sent me to bring
DOILY and old CHEN back to base,
and, get this, were using
wormholes.
You be back in a couple of
minutes. Now we need to step
outside so the wormhole thingy
doesn't crunch up the ship, and
you need to follow my instructions
exactly. We need to latch on to a
sliding platform. This wormhole
shit is dangerous, keep your hands
to your sides and your heads down.
GHOST sorry old buddy you don't
get to play this time, going to
have to stay and pilot this crate
back to base.
DOILY
So I take it that this is that
Alien pixie thing then.
JACINTA
Yes EVERYWHEN, better play nice
DOILY even your ego will be
crushed by his event horizon.
DOILY
Wanna bet!
EXT. ICE IN THEM THERE HILLS- 1-7
LOCATION: Deep space near Comet
ALEX, SHARROW, JACINTA and COSTAS transport through to
set up an initial geodesic dome covered in stealth panels
into which the full team can wormhole. This is so they
can stage all the equipment without being detected.
RUDI
So BOY are we ready?
BOY
Yes Marm, its been cobbled
together at the last minute but I
think its sound. We will be on the
ground at the command and
logistics hub so we can improvise
as necessary. EVERYWHEN is
delocalising too, so he can
initiate a retreat wormhole if we
need to.
RUDI
OK, lets get this shit show on the
road.
BOY
Troops, initiate phase one.
JACINTA
I feel like a fish finger about to
be grilled. This bloody stupid
rail road is far too small. You
copy DOILY?
DOILY
Will I really have to listen to
your bitching for the next few
days.
JACINTA
Oh yes, get used to it navy pilot.
OK see you on the other side.
SOUNDS OF CART
RUNNING DOWN RAILS
JACINTA
DOILY you copy, are you through
OK? I'm switching to narrow beam
aiming at portal.
CRACKLING
DOILY
Roger, this, (crackle) You broken
up can you jet closer.
JACINTA
Roger. Can you see the panels?
DOILY
There on my tether. Lets get them
set up. EVERYWHEN you their?
EVERYWHEN
Yes of course. I will quickly
flash a dim light so you can see
the portal position when it is on.
DOILY
OK got you, not far. I'm coming to
you.
EVERYWHEN
OK. I can move it but we might as
well rendezvous.
JACINTA
This comet is black as all hell. I
thought they were bright!
EVERYWHEN
Only when they are near the Sun.
Clock says you have twenty minutes
JACINTA
Oh, did you see that flash of
light. (Spoken whilst working on
panels)
DOILY
Yes. These idiots are not hiding
anymore. There still on the
surface so we are going to get a
little action. (Spoken whilst
working on panels)
JACINTA
Which is good, if we can get one
alive we can possibly find out
what the hell they are thinking
and who there sponsor is. Going to
be messy. (Spoken whilst working
on panels)
DOILY
Well armed conflict is always
messy. Don't you have the magic
nanities now? (Spoken whilst
working on panels)
JACINTA
Yes I do, Good isn't it. (Spoken
whilst working on panels) There
got it!
DOILY
Are you totally sure about that?
(Spoken whilst working on panels)
JACINTA
Well, no, but, they saved my bacon
last time, so I'm not complaining.
(Spoken whilst working on panels)
OK, that's the last bitch'n panel
in place. EVERYWHEN give the
signal for the next team to come
through. Can you count them off.
EVERYWHEN
Yes of course no problem.
TIME PASSING
Ten more people come through the reopened gate using the
rails system, each is holding a large pack of equipment
in front of them.
RUDI
OK you know the drill, fix the
packages to the panel stowage and
then start work on the
programmable temporary hexagon
habitat.
BOY
Here Ms SHARROW can I assist.
SHARROW
Thank you Major its nice to meet a
real gentlemen, they are a rare
species now-a-days.
BOY
That they are. Unfortunately. So
hold this clip and this strut and
twist the lock pin.
SHARROW
Thankyou that's not too hard.
BOY
Looks like the frame is about
done.
DOILY
The transportable dock is attached
sir!
BOY
Thank you Captain. Marm, looks
like we need to move to the foam
metal filler panels.
RUDI
Roger I'm on it I have JACINTA and
ALEX assisting.
ALEX
Hay, JACINTA can you grab this end
please.
JACINTA
What's the mater fly gurl, having
trouble with your thrust control?
ALEX
Yes, actually I am, so are you
going to help me?
JACINTA
Come here, OK like this and this!
Right push on the frame mount.
Get one hand on that frame handle
and then use it to apply force.
ALEX
OK got it.
JACINTA
Great. OK lets get on to the next.
The cool thing is that sections
can be being sealed, whilst other
sections are still being built.
They have become quite the thing.
RUDI
EVERYWHEN can we gate through the
next batch of structural elements
please.
EVERYWHEN
Of course Marm.
ALEX
I have to agree its cool. So how
do they hold pressure.
JACINTA
Well, you see old COSTA inside,
see how see has started with that
gun thing. It sprays charged foam.
The foam sticks to the panels and
locks everything together. Its
hardens, takes about twenty
minutes, and its as tough as all
f***. The metal frame and foam
metal panels take the structural
loads, whilst the rubbery foam,
holds the pressure. Perfect
combination. I think its called a
geodesic structure. Once all the
struts are in place its very
strong.
ALEX
Its actually very roomy.
JACINTA
Needs to be, you didn't see all
the gear wait to come through, it
was backing up into Bay alpha 3.
ALEX
Where did the RCBS get all that
stuff from?
JACINTA
Well, some from long term storage,
some borrowed. GANDER pulled a
few favours, you should have heard
her swearing!
ALEX
I'll bet!
JACINTA
Most of it is going back when we
are done.
ALEX
Right this wormhole concept takes
some getting used to. Oh look,
RUDI is waving.
JACINTA
Yep I think she is about to
instigate the last phase, then we
are on our own out here.
EXT. ON THE ROCKS - 1- 7.1
LOCATION: Comet surface.
The geodesic structure is slowly moved to the surface of
the comet furthest from the enemy and then tethered.
Excursion teams are then sent out to neutralise the
rocket thrusters and redirect them.
RUDI
OK, looks like we are ready, we
have towed the temporary base to
the comet and we have secured it
with straps and bolts. JACINTA
and COSTA are outside covering it
with as much ice and snow as they
can find. Now everyone, no radio
or data-vising. Turn every
transmitter off. Its direct line
of sight laser from now on. BOY
can you appraise the troops of the
situation please.
BOY
Yes very good Marm. So we have
positioned this temporary habitat
as far away as we can from the
enemy, and its hidden by the ice
peaks. You will be split into
three teams Alpha, Beta, Gamma.
You will enfilade the enemy from
each direction as best you can.
Given the difficult terrain, this
will take time, we don't go in
jets blasting, we have to sneak up
and neutralise them individually,
for as long as possible.
The aim being to switch of the
rocket motors as soon as possible
and capture or kill the enemy. OK
troops go to it! Marm if I may!
RUDI
Thank you Major a true gentlemen.
Now let me join team Alpha and see
what we can do.
EXT. TEAM ALPHA -1 -7.2
LOCATION: Comet surface.
JACINTA is leading one of the incursion teams, but RUDI
joins because she wants some action. They encounter the
distant sentry's for the enemy and ALEX volunteers to
sneak around and silently take them out of action.
JACINTA
Team, umbilical's please.
RUDI
JACINTA you're the most
experienced combat soldier so if
you can please take command, I
will act as a simple grunt for
this exercise.
JACINTA
Very good Marm, so how do I
address you?
RUDI
Just RUDI will be sufficient. Now
where do you want me?
JACINTA
Well, I think that COSTA's and
ALEX and Myself will take point,
with yourself and SHARROW
protecting the rear. I think the
best strategy is to find a gully
and sneak in. We know where the
enemy are, its just getting as
close as we can without being
spotted and picking off their
troops until we can disable those
engines. Stay roped together at
all times, gravity is very low so
we use the auto claw boots as much
as we can. If someone looses grip
the troops on either side can pull
them down using the ropes. (Pause)
So you see this small gully ahead
around two meters wide, I think
that's the best bet.
SHARROW
Can you see anything RUDI?
RUDI
Either my eyes are getting old or
its a black as the inside of BOYS
boots out here.
ALEX
Its a good thing gravities low
these auto mortars are a bitch.
JACINTA
You'll be glad of them later.
Bloody good little buggers, saved
my bacon many times. The only
issue is the low gravity means
they have to travel slowly, but
the shells are black so they are
almost impossible to see.
COSTAS
I' love these little bastards
their the best thing we have.
JACINTA
Hold, I think I see something. Yep
two of them down in that cull, can
you see. They have dug in.
ALEX
I see weapons, looks like standard
laser rifles, not sure of the
make.
JACINTA
Geez, you do have combat
experience.
ALEX
Three campaigns all told, the last
one nearly got me. Trying to take
a space station, bloody impossible
job. Should have just nuked it and
been done. The big wigs wanted
the asset.
COSTAS
F** ig big wigs always wanting the
impossible.
RUDI
(Cough)
COSTAS
Oh, shit sorry Marm, I didn't mean
you.
RUDI
Simmer down soldier, I have never
met a grunt who didn't hate the
f**g command. These c** sucking
boots, who invented them.
COSTAS
Laughter, right on, there C*
suckers all right.
JACINTA
RUDI can you take a look at this,
I'm wondering if we set up a
mortar, but then it could wake up
a whole lot more trouble.
RUDI
OK, let me have a look. I can't
see any other outposts on any of
the ridges. I think this must be
an forward outpost, still.
Perhaps someone could sneak
around, see that boulder it could
give cover a couple of accurate
stun shots should do the trick. We
then cut comms and tie wrap for
later pick up.
ALEX
I'll do it, I've been practicing
with the Lassiter fastback, be
like shooting turkey's.
JACINTA
You have all the fun.
ALEX
Yep well its a dirty rotten job,
but some one has to do it! OK need
I ask that you cover me.
JACINTA
Covering away.
COSTAS
She's good, look at her technique!
SHARROW
Don't underestimate her, she's
been a hunter killer, even at
school. Of course its those Tiger
genes!
COSTAS
Really, but her skin doesn't have
stripes!
JACINTA
Jesus you two! It's a pity her bum
sticks up, otherwise she would
have quite a good crawl. Too much
time sitting around playing
detective I guess.
SHARROW
Well its a good thing we do
otherwise all the bad stuff would
go on with no one to stop it!
JACINTA
Yeah, Sure. (Pause) Ohhh, I'm
really itching to take a pot shot
at her arse.
RUDI
Now, now, settle down! (Pause)
Looks like those idiots on guard
are asleep this should be fun to
watch!
TIME PASSING, GUN
SHOTS
ALEX
Well, that was fun!
JACINTA
Like trussing tomatoes, good work
on the tie wraps by the way.
ALEX
Thank you, its a speciality!
SHARROW
Feeling better? Are they going to
be alright.
ALEX
Yes thank you much better. Of
course their going to be OK, out
of the fight but not out for the
count.
JACINTA
OK, (Pause) So lets move forward
slowly, same as before, I think if
we get to the edge of the next
rill, before any alarms are
raised, we should be able to set
up the mortar sites.
That will make the next stage so
much easier.
ALEX
Next stage?
COSTAS
Oh, that's easy mortar the crap
out of the main rocket
emplacements and make them run
about whilst teams Beta and Gamma
clean up.
RUDI
Whilst not damaging the rockets,
remember!
COSTAS
Yes of course Marm!
TIME PASSING
ALEX
So this new fangled spotter
thingy, how does it work again?
COSTAS
Well, this telescopic sight has a
low infra red laser distance
measure, and the angles of the
scope are measured. I look at a
target, press this button and the
scope sends it to the target list
in the auto mortar. The computer
does the rest.
SHARROW
How accurate is it?
JACINTA
Deadly, we even take account of
the gravimetric distortions due to
the lumpy comet. At this range
accurate to within a meter.
RUDI
Its the bread and butter of modern
field ops. The thing is to
carefully prioritize the targets.
Knock out any potential
retaliatory weapons first, I
presume JACINTA you have
designated their guns as the
highest priority?
JACINTA
Of course Marm. Naturally we are
just going to blow their guns of
the rock. The gravity means they
go flying off into space.
JACINTA
These puppies run off cold gas
jets so they won't even know they
are coming. The timing is such
that all the rounds converge at
the same time.
SHARROW
What about RADAR?
JACINTA
Plastic rounds, almost no
signature.
SHARROW
Well, it sounds too good to be
true.
JACINTA
The only issue is the low exit
velocities, if you wanted you
would be able to reach up and grab
a round. I don't recommend it
though. (Pause) So COSTAs are we
all set up? Do these rubes know
what to do?
COSTAS
Yep ready to blow. The monkeys
are trained and fed.
ALEX
Hay, I was loading mortars from my
junior high. They were my own
designs of course.
COSTAS
See what I mean Sargent, these
ones are difficult to train.
JACINTA
Give them a Banana!
COSTAS
How the hell can we do that in a
space suit.
JACINTA
Yah I know, impossible!
RUDI
I trust you are not including me
in that category?
JACINTA
Oh, no Marm, sorry!
RUDI
Well what are you waiting for,
Christmas?
JACINTA
OK, everyone ready. Initiate
mortar program one!
AIRPIPE SOUNDS WITH
PHUTS
COSTAS
Ten minutes to impacts!
SHARROW
This is like a slow motion ballet,
not a firefight.
COSTAS
Welcome to the world of low G
combat. There is a lot of hanging
around.
END
