Getting Your Sh*t Together

Q&A: What's your stance on NA Drinks in Recovery?

December 18, 2020 Cynthia Season 3 Episode 8
Getting Your Sh*t Together
Q&A: What's your stance on NA Drinks in Recovery?
Show Notes Transcript

Hey, friends, hey!

I got a Q&A from someone who listens to the show about my stance, view, thoughts on NA drinks when it comes to recovery.

This episode will be short and sweet but net/net is that I decided that like most things in recovery (and how I see it), it depends on you. HOWEVER, I didn't touch NA drinks until after my first year! Trust, my social life was sho nuff interesting.  

Why? Because your girl is QUEEN of not handling sh*t and I would have just used that as my crutch as a way to feel "normal" and not address my stuff.

When in reality, life as I knew it then, had changed. Which, in hindsight, is okay but it sure as hell didn't feel like it then.

Take a listen. Let me know what you think? Agree or disagree?

Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings.
If you're looking for a black therapist or resources, check this out!

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

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Hello, my name is Cynthia, welcome to the latest episode of getting together a podcast where we discuss what it's like to get it all the way together or at least attempt to one day at a time. Hey, everybody, welcome to the latest episode, today's episode is going to be a q&a. But before I jump into the q&a, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to not just one particular person, but just like all of you guys, thank you so much for supporting me. Thank you for the people that have been here since day one listening to my show and all the random that comes with dealing with me and all the people that have jumped on and have joined in and kind of become part of the whole getting your shit together. family because we all are doing that in some kind of aspect. So I appreciate you guys spending your precious moments with me as I work my way through this crazy thing that we called life. So let's dive right on in for this week's question. I was given or post this question through someone who listens to my show. And it was about my take or my stance on non alcoholic drinks. I will keep it at non alcoholic drinks for this episode. But I also kind of want to talk about other ways things people use for like recovery because I know there's people that use things like psychedelics and weed and stuff like that. So alternative ways of sobriety. I guess I want to dive into that I think I'm going to make an episode on it. But I'm going to keep this focused on non alcoholic drinks and my stance on it. And like I said, this is my POV for those who don't know or maybe are sober, curious or new to recovery, basically not like drinks, alcohol, free drinks, na drinks. Some people may know them as temperance drinks, which is an old timey word, but hey, we're gonna roll with it. showering is basically any version of any alcoholic drink and it's made without alcohol or alcohol removed or reduced to almost zero. And I also want to say like the almost zero just to keep that in the back of your mind. So this could come in the form of a non alcoholic mixed drink or in a mixed drink a non alcoholic beer mocktails and it kind of run the gamut wine. There's spirits or like you know the Baka whiskey, tequila, gin options and variations and things like that. So my stance on it when it comes to should you partake in these should utilize these for your recovery? Should this be something that you turn to once you give up the sauce right when I got sober coming up on two years, which is insane. One thing for me was that I knew about non alcoholic beer and options but I will tell you like it's really become like a huge thing probably within the past to me a year and a half or so. Like it wasn't really that popular. I would say even two years ago when I decided I was going to be sober like you kind of had the only thing that I knew about like I'm not alcoholic beer or anything. It's like if you ordered like an Arnold Palmer or Shirley Temple old duels which I tried once and it was rat has basically gross it was nasty. don't recommend it. Sorry to those who like well duels out there but not for your girl. I didn't really know that much. You know, outside of making like a mixed drink like a cranberry soda or straight up cranberry juice, things like that. It was very basic girl was basic barbet. So when I decided to give up drinking, I realized during that whole month really of sober January, going to February and stuff like that, that I needed to really take a step back, I was going through this whole re discovery, I was in my pink cloud, I was like things are great. And life is wonderful, but really starting to really unpack a lot of my shift and a lot of why I was drinking and I think I had to really come to that reality or lean towards that reality. And I knew that introducing non alcoholic substitutions for me at that time was not a good thing. So I would say when it came to my own recovery, I stayed away from non alcoholic drinks for my first year like so I didn't have a beer. I didn't have mixed drinks with alcohol free options. I didn't do any wine. I didn't do a lot of that stuff, too. Because I decided like You know what, I just need to have full stop full break from it. Because I didn't want it to start becoming a crutch. I think what happened for me, I just realized that I utilize so many things as crutches and I didn't want to get addicted, quote unquote, to some other variation of alcohol even though it didn't have alcohol in it, if that makes sense. Like I was I didn't want to feel like I was still glamorized. are mourning some past iteration of Cynthia and using in a beer or in a wine or in a spirits as a way to kind of get through it. Like I knew it wasn't the real thing, but it was, it was still kind of like made me feel like I was part of the crowd or I was accepted or could still have something, you know, but that's kind of where I was. And I kind of had to unpack that like the feeling of what do I do when I don't have a drink? at the bar? Or at a party? How do I be okay with that, how do I learn to be okay in my own skin, and just be able to exist in the world without anything without having to fall back on anything. And that was what was important for me. And I also had to get over the ritual of my drinking, because I don't know about you guys. But I know for me, there was like a ritual to my whole drinking, like the type of wine that I would get the type of spirit or vodka or gin or tequila, I would get the type of mixers when I would do it, how I looked forward to it, how things had to be a certain way, chilled out a certain way, what I would have ice with what I wouldn't have ice with all these other type of things like the ritual of it, and just being able to say, yeah, this is coming into my time, this is coming into my moment, I'm about to, you know, drink until I don't feel shit until I was like lit your girls lit. And, and I just missed it, I missed the buisiness I missed the business, the ritual of the drinking. And I had to kind of stop that because and that was something I had to mourn like I had to mourn that because I missed it. And I'm not gonna lie and say there's certain days that I still don't miss it, you know, but at this point, now that I'm stronger, and I can recognize when I have that type of thinking that's kind of coming into my mind, you know, but I don't think I would have been able to separate myself enough. If I had some type of other option that resembled it close enough, you know that I can kind of still kind of trick myself because as an alcoholic, as an addict, we're our kings queens, however, you want to classify yourself as being able to trick ourselves fool ourselves. for other people. That's kind of what we want to do. I knew going into it that I didn't want to trick myself trick other people anymore. So I had to take a full step back and just be like, you know what, I'm just gonna have to go out on my own and see how this really is or how being recovery truly is without any other barriers or any other things to fall back on. And just be uncomfortable. It worked for me, I think, for me, it was a good thing. Because like I said, I've said this countless times on my show, and to other people, my first year of recovery, hard is home. But I learned so much about myself and the world during that first year more than I've probably ever learned in my life. And I've been on earth for quite a bit. You know, I'm no spring chicken, even though act like it sometimes, hey, credit that to me, really just taking a step back from everything and just really just going so low. And just being like this. Let me just experience the world as the world is and not how I like to think that it is or how something that I'm ingesting or imbibing will allow me to create the world that I want to see and be a part of, you know, so I did it for like my first year, I didn't go near anything, I highly recommend it just so you can kind of see what you're made of. Maybe it's not a full year, maybe it's less, maybe it's more maybe never go near it. I think it's like one of those things like recovery is very personal. Like, it may not be for you. Like you know, I feel like a lot of people say well, you know, then what do you drink? There's so many things you could drink. And I've tried so many interesting, like fruit concoctions when I was sober like my first year and like fruits and putting like vegetables and shrubs of trees, like not trees, literally, but tried different things. So I was like, Well, why the hell not? I could still have an experience. And it'd be different. And that's kind of how it helped me realize that I could still have experiences and try new things and be excited. And it didn't have to be solely around or based on alcohol. Right. So that helped me now have I tried in a beer now going on past my first year. Yeah, I have. I wasn't a big beer drinker when I was drinking alcohol. So I tried it. And I'm like, I don't know, I can't draw the correlation between the two because I never was a big I don't know, it's hoppy. It's not hot. Like there's so many things that a lot of people will tell me about. And I'm like you're telling the wrong person because it's one error out the other because I'm not I was never a big beer drinker in the first place. I've tried that. I've tried mocktails that had non alcoholic spirits in it and stuff like that. You know, I've tried different things pass my first year and it's cool. It's nice. I actually recently tried this. So Ralph from Brooklyn rude. I'd really recently try that and that was pleasantly nice. I like to support local and small businesses. Anyway, but so many options and things and I have no problem right now trying it, I do have to be cognizant of two things, one, looking at the label to make sure it's truly alcohol free, because just because it's in a beer and a wine or whatever doesn't mean it doesn't have traces of alcohol in there. And I think that's something to be aware of, because that can still trigger to me disordered thinking. So I try my best to kind of stay away, stay clear. And I also just don't want to get in the habit of like, feeling like that's something I have to go to lean on to in order to feel myself because I want to be able to still feel like myself, regardless of whether I have something in a in my house or not. And that's just how I look at it. That's my perspective, as an person who is an who has an addictive personality, I look onto anything that I can latch on to and be like, yes, let's self destruct. Let's do anything. And granted, it's not at the same level as dealing with something that has alcohol in it. I just want to be always aware and cognizant of my patterns and my thinking, you know, and realize that there is a time and place for everything, and that goes with non alcoholic drinks for me. So do I think it's a bad thing? No, I feel like if that's something you want to do, do it. I also would say just tried your best to just think of why you're really doing it. Or if it's a social situation, okay, that's cool. But if you have it at home, to me, it's like it's different having like, seltzers, and having all these different types of seltos versus like, you have like a refrigerator full of like beer and knock spirits and all that type of stuff. But maybe you should examine that, you know, look into it. Like, is there something there's there's something underlying, is there something that you don't necessarily want to see? And is it leading up to something more? Maybe it's not? Maybe it's not? I mean, I know, that's just how I think when I start going down a certain path or trajectory, just checking in with myself being real with myself being honest about my shit, because we all have it. That's just kind of how life goes. But it's just also about just being aware and being cognizant of it. And if you're not into it, because I know there's a camp of like, well, you shouldn't do it you like, you know, that's not part of the steps and all this other type of stuff. Like, I'm not here for that. I'm here about like you do what's best for you and your recovery, take stock in that and really look at what you're doing and see if it's the best thing for you, or are you not addressing something that needs to be addressed? That's my two cents on it. But other than that, live life, enjoy it, experience it, but try to keep that in the back of your mind. Because it's a thing, something you have to realize. And I was saying like now that being alcohol free and sober is like becoming a craze. I feel like you have to watch the marketing companies, especially if they are from like, they cater to an like an alcohol based audience. And now they're not like see, we're their mo is, do you trust them? Is it just more about getting the most money or more money? Or is it from a company that's really like trying to better things and better the world in some kind of way. And this is just happens to be their industry? You got to look at this type of stuff. I know I do. But I'm also an advertising. So I always have advertising and marketing lens on most things. And I'm like, you got to watch that. But that's just me. But yeah, I mean, I hope this answers your question. I hope this gives you some food for thought net net, I really will say I introduced it more during my first year going towards my second. So currently, I still look at my usage of it and why I'm using it and my board like I still try to check in just to make sure nothing else is underlying, owning my shit confronting it. And then also being open to just exploring different types of drinks outside of just like the NA wine, vertical spirit, like in a wine, beer, spirits vertical, like juices and all the type of stuff and just be really accountable. I know everybody hates that word. I feel like most people hate that word. But it's really the jam if you really just like own it, and just say like, what is this really about? And like I said, if it's not for you, you don't want to touch it. Don't want to touch anything similar to it. That's totally cool, too. Do you boo. That's how I look at it, do you because your recovery is probably like no one else's. And that's totally fine. And that's why we need different perspectives and voices and POV is on it in this arena. So yeah, I think that's it. I always like a good QA. I like people asking me these questions. And if you have a question, please reach out to me, DM me, email me. I'm always here for it. If this would resonate with anyone that you know, please share it out. Sharing is caring gets the word out about my little show here. And I always like to meet new people and say, Hey, what's up, you know, until next time, my friends, enjoy the rest of your week. Enjoy your time. Do something nice for you today and we will talk soon. Take care Bye