The Way of the Influencer

Learning how to live from the inside out.

Mike Raber Season 3 Episode 4

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0:00 | 33:52

Mike Raber 0:02  

Welcome to the influencers journey. It's Mike Raber, here with you with another amazing influencer in her own making Lindsay Michelle, who is a yoga instructor and Reiki practitioner along with many other modalities of healing. Today she's going to be sharing with us a program she's been working on called joy, jump outside of yourself. And we're gonna be talking about the importance of learning how to live from the inside out. Yes, you heard me correctly living from the inside out. Lindsay, Would you like to share with us what that means?

Lindsey Michelle 0:42  

It's been quite a journey. So I think there are these topical modalities of healing we can discuss about making ourselves look beautiful on the outside. And we look very well put together we have this beautiful mask we've created and painted to show the world. But underneath that suit coat, there's a lot of pain and trauma and hurt going on. That we have gotten. Really, really we've become experts at hiding it from the world, to be honest, we've learned physically how to walk in a way that doesn't show our aches and pains, we've learned how to put on a face that doesn't show our actual emotions. However, when we begin the healing journey from the inside, it can be kind of messy. So it's nice to put that mask back on and hide under that, because that feels safe. And so when we talk about the red, yellow and green traffic trauma system that I learned from my coach, that is this element of kind of living in yellow, where it's comfortable, it feels safe. But it's not true joy. It's not true peace. It's not true relaxation. And it's really not who we are. And so if we're willing, and maybe we're getting to a point where we're just strongly desiring or we're fed up with the life that we've had before. And we're willing to open that can of worms, because it is messy. And there's a lot of discovery and a lot of things we're pulling out from the inside of ourselves, then we begin to discover that there's a lot in there underneath all of the layers and maybe underneath that straight jacket or that. Mike, you mentioned casts, you know, there's a lot hiding under there, that really needs to be a lot out and a lot of space created in order to do that. And once we get there, and we heal from the inside out, that could be healing our gut by eating super foods, or simply by healing our mind and getting into good habits or in our soul really come into our sole purpose. How does that show on the outside to others when they see us? Or they feel our presence? Or they'll tell you Wow, I just feel so calm and relaxed around you. And you're thinking, Oh, that's wonderful I'm glad you feel that way. What did I do differently?

How can we shine from the inside out by coming outside of ourselves to look inward?

Mike Raber 3:08  

I love that. And it's interesting to how oftentimes we think we're feeling one way. And we may be another way I remember when our kids were little as an example. And I would come home. And they'll look at me and say, Dad, how are you? And I'll look at them and say, Oh, I'm great. And I'd be ready to have dinner, whatever. And they would look at me and say Are you sure that you probably should tell your face that because giving us a different message. So I love how oftentimes we train ourselves, whether we realize they're not on how to hide those thoughts, hide those feelings. And sometimes through the innocence of kids, they can be called out on that.

Lindsey Michelle 3:46  

It's really powerful. You said that because I think that that that goes into the realm of something I learned in yoga, teacher training of when the the head and the heart are in alignment are not in alignment, we don't speak our truth. And so it appears your kids could see right through your words, and see your action, say like, your actions are not showing me that you're feeling the way that your words are telling me. And so for them to be able to see through that. And you know, sometimes the world can see through us in ways that we can't see through ourselves. And so that takes the jumping outside of ourselves to look inward from the outside perspective or a third person's perspective, to see that we're not in alignment. And what we find is that when we release those energetic blocks or heal that trauma is that when we come into alignment and our head and our heart are in alignment, we can speak our actual truth that which actually comes from our heart. It doesn't always come from the head or from the ego. So at a soul level.

Mike Raber 4:45  

That makes perfect sense. What are some things that you would recommend that people do to help figure out where they are in their own lives, that they're in the line mentor, kind of where they fall into that realm?

Lindsey Michelle 4:57  

That's a great question. One exercise that I've done even recently, that was really eye opening was, what does what makes me happy? Or what, to me feels joyful. And you could use the example of, you know, how do you want to be spending your time? If you had all the time in the world, what would you be doing? And for me, I was really surprised and not surprised at the same time to realize it was high level intellectual conversation or talking about, you know, energy or Tarot card, or working on any sort of, you know, physical activity. or talking about superfoods, those things just lit me up. And I thought, okay, that's good to realize. So the exercise is to really admit to yourself what you find fun, because you might think, Oh, I really tell myself, I love to go on walks outside in the middle of the cold, and it's not fun. Or I'd rather be inside reading, well, that's okay. And then when it comes back to the daily habits, maybe it is getting yourself outside sometimes, but knowing that your joy comes from the reading, or vice versa, you might find out, you love cold, and you never knew that you did.

Mike Raber 6:08  

shocker. Or maybe taking the book down by river, we're taking the bull, the book out in the backyard, where you're in nature, and you're not too far from home, but yet you are able to read your book while taking in the beauty of nature, or the sounds of the birds behind you, etc.

Lindsey Michelle 6:29  

I love that you say that, because I get most of my great ideas after some sort of physical activity, or during. And so my friend said, we'll just save that phone call for when you're riding your bike. No, that's not safe, however, that I was pairing something I didn't want to do with something I did. And you talked about the sound of the birds. And that reminds me of actually all the senses. Maybe smelling the fresh air, hearing the birds, and then remembering what it is that you love to do and putting them together. That's wonderful.

 

Mike Raber 7:00  

Yeah, so true. And it's interesting, I was talking with someone who is an expert in how our brain takes information or learning methods last week, and he was sharing with me about reading. And I'm one of those. And for the years, I always kind of beat myself up over reading a book because I watched a person sit down and pick up a book and read it from cover to cover. And I can't do that I can read it for a while. And then my brain starts chasing a squirrel somewhere. And I'm continually trying to read the book, while chase squirrels, which isn't much fun, it becomes a chore instead of relaxation. So I was talking to a coach A while back, who said why don't you read three books at the same time. So I said, Okay, so I will pick up book a and I read a chapter. And I put it down, I pick up the book to read a chapter. And it might not be in one city, but it's over a course of time. And then I would pick up Book Three, or I might go back to book one. And I found that I before when I was trying to read one book, it might take me a month to read one book. When I read three books at the same time, it would take me a week or two to be three books. And also interesting because it allowed my brain to stop chasing squirrels, and focus on doing that. And then what I discovered naturally, and that's what the conversation we're having last week was is I love books on audio, or I'll listen to CDs or listen to podcasts much like we're doing right now while driving. And I drive a lot. And I enjoyed driving. So I found that when I listened to is a book, and tape or a podcast, I can internalize a lot of the information. And it's also a way of filling time while driving. So that's why I started doing that. But what I learned was much like reading three books at the same time. When I'm driving my conscious brain is focused on what's around me, right? Meanwhile, my subconscious brain is listening to what I'm listening to. And by having the calming effect of driving, because I enjoy doing it like driving up a different exam, different story, but and also I am a visual person. So I'm taking in this beautiful scenery, I'm taking what's going on around there watching what the other divers are doing. I'm doing all the things that my senses are wired naturally to do. And let my subconscious mind learn. And that's why even though I didn't realize that I was really getting way more out of listening to books that way versus trying to force it. Now if I were to just sit in a room with a Cisco podcast, I couldn't do it. I'd have to have two podcasts going at the same time just like the books. So anyway, it's interesting how it's, I think, part of learning how we are wired, whether it's learning, whether it's working through things, picking up new habits, etc. but figuring out how our brain how our body wants to do it and then allowing ourselves to show up and be that versus trying to force another person's agenda, or another person's way of doing something unto ourselves.

Lindsey Michelle 10:13  

That is super powerful, I was just taking a pause, because there's a few things that came up for me. And that really goes to looking within and what does work for us, in particular, my AP Calculus teacher in high school had us walk around the school while we were memorizing our equations. And I never forgot that I just thanked her recently, because in college, I'd ride the stationary bike and study for science or whatever, I read the book while I was riding the bike. And that has stayed with me for a long time. So I'll do some yoga, and then I'll get an idea, or I like to call that person or I'll respond to that email. Now I'm inspired to do so. And like you, I can read multiple books at a time that is just very fulfilling, to gather information. And I think it talks about this concept that we touched on earlier, being multifaceted, having many interests like and also being a consumer of information. And then also when you are producing things, sometimes you work a little bit on this a little bit on that. And then you get another idea for this. And then it all ends up coming together. The journey and the destination, the journey is.

Mike Raber 11:21  

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we forget that a lot of the growth, and the enjoyment comes during the journey. And kind of like going on a trip. It's kind of funny how, and I'm sure you've noticed that you're taking a trip somewhere, and you get to the destination pretty fast. But it feels like it takes twice as much time to come home. And at the pyre that is the journey that we know this destination and going from A to B, and why we're on this journey to get there. We're enjoying all this stuff is going on, we're excited to get to be where would that place might be or the thing might be, and now we're there. But going home, that's, that's home, that's normal, the excitement is kind of out of that. So perhaps how can we make, okay, if I have to go back home, what am I going to do when I get home, that'd be fun. So like as an example, if I know that I'm going to go see one of our kids, and then I have to turn around and drive back home, I will plan the route so that when I get home, I have time to maybe pick something up and to guide that I haven't eaten a long time. And I will have that for dinner. Or maybe I'm going to watch a movie, when I get home, I find something that I can do when I get back home. That's fun. And now going back home becomes the new destination. So once again, I can enjoy the journey. So I think life is a series of journeys to different destinations, as long as we continue to find destinations that are fun or thats rewarding, but yet, enjoy the journey, the whole experience becomes a lot more enjoyable.

Lindsey Michelle 13:00  

A couple things are coming up for me now. One is treating ourselves along the way, like little rewards little celebrations, which are very big. And the happiness project talks about in many other offers, I presume talk about doing something for your future, future self. And one other piece of that is something to look forward to. So it could be as simple as like you mentioned the to go or whatever it may be, and giving really honoring those as gifts. So I'll give an example. So I've been writing on my list of things to manifest is dinner while looking at the lake. And I was in a meeting with someone the other day and they I was having a lighting issue with recording for yoga. And they said, well, the light, you know, if you just flip your camera around, the light would come from behind your screen. And I said, You're right. But then there's my kitchen back there and people will see that and they said, they said you know, well, that's real life. People want to see real life and said, Oh, okay, okay, so I did that. And that freed up disability because that was my dining room, which is not my yoga area. I put my dining room table right in front of my picture window, which overlooks and then all of a sudden, the next day, my future far future manifestation came true. And we were eating dinner watching the sunset over the lake. And I said, I can have it all right. No, it was literally a perspective shift of jumping outside and doing a 180.

Mike Raber 14:31  

Yeah. So today so funny to that you say that because right now I'm sitting here looking over Lake Michigan. And behind me I have this and be on the other side of this divider here which I'm sorry this was on the podcast, you can't see what we are talking about right now. So imagine that I'm sitting here and behind me to my left is a plant. And the next of the plant is this big Japanese divider. And the other side of the divider is a piano which still isn't horrible. But it's not as grounding as the picture that I have in front of me right now. And when I first set this up, I wanted the camera to face the lake because I wanted the zoom class example the people to be able to see what I'm seeing. And I realized that the light doesn't allow for that to happen. Plus, it was a distraction, because now I'm looking away from that. So, in a nutshell, I rearranged it so that I can keep the grounding effect that I have behind me now. Plus, it's that as clutter that that that cannot be cluttered but, and I'm able to look at the lake. So I can look up every now and then and kind of look at the blueness of the water and reflect. And that's a good grounding. So one of the things that happened, by accident, but turned out to be a blessing is being able to, even though my 23rd floor to build as much of a grounding effect as I can. So I feel grounded while talking to the person. So it's interesting how you're now jumping, looking at the lake as well, very similar.

Lindsey Michelle 16:06  

Yeah. And that reminds me of the gifting to yourself is what I'm really working on now is taking in those beautiful VISTAs, as I call them in Spanish, that beautiful views, and the sunrises and sunsets and just really holding them inside myself as a gift every day, prior to deflecting it out to the world, it's that that gift was given as something that I'm working on receiving. And so for you during your meeting and myself included, right now both of us are able to see some beautiful lakes, as we're talking to others, and we get to receive that gift. And sometimes we don't feel worthy in our lives. And so we tend to deflect compliments, like, Oh, yeah, you too, or, Oh, don't be silly, or no receive that. Take it in, you might be really good at giving it. I told myself years ago, the second that I see someone on the street that I would like to give a compliment to, I'm going to and I do that to this day, all the time. Because in my life as well, that might be I may have been for them as people have been for me, the only person that commented on their smile on their dress, on whatever. And they might have worked really hard on that, that entire day or that week or that month or that year, you may be the only person that did that. And that can make a difference.

Mike Raber 17:25  

Yep, so true. And I think people are naturally a lot of people are hungry for compliments, because they don't get them. And when you give compliments someone for something, it lightens their day and lightens our day. And during the process, I'm just like, I'm 100% with you on that as far as figuring out ways to compliment her open up the door, I was going into a place yesterday. And as I was getting to the door, this older couple was walking out. And I held the door open and just give her a big smile and said Good evening, and they walk out and you could see their energy shift. And then I went in. And it was such a simple gesture to do. Yet the impact towards the other person was huge. I think often next interaction going to be because now they've gifted their next interaction immediately after that, because they feel loved right now taken care of and honored and noticed their next interaction to someone else. They will maybe I don't want to use or paid for it. But it's really what's coming is the chances of them doing something nice for someone else immediately. Proceeding immediately after you're doing that for them are very high.

Yeah. And, and even looking at situations where we might not feel like it as an example. I was flying to Seattle a couple years ago. And the plane that we were on, there was an issue and they had to basically ground the flight. And people I'm aligned type the person at the gate and people are yelling at her and belittling her like she has control over what the planet what the airline decides to do. And I'm just watching this. I was like, why people? Why are you treating her that way? She's another human being. So I'm like sixth in line. And she's basically one after another said, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. Here's the 800 number call them and I'm sure they could take care of you. And you could see as each person did that she was coming more and more flustered. Now it came to my turn. And I wanted to do was to somehow help her change the mindset to give her a little bit of grace. So she could reflect what she just experienced. That was my outcome. So she looks up at me she has this sense of what being in the yellow she was certainly in the yellow that no way to read at that point. I smile. I said relax. We're not going anywhere. Breathe. act like you're helping me. Nobody will know the difference. And just give yourself a moment. too, to recharge. And she kind of looks at me and she goes, Okay. And I could kind of see she just sat there. And I said, I looked at as if you're looking for something to pick or think you're looking for something for me, and she does. And then she goes, now she goes back into her passions. I'm so sorry, sir. And I said, Ma'am, just starting to be sorry, for she says, but you fake are grounded. And I say, yeah, and there's two reasons for that. Number one, the plane is not safe to leave the ground. Number two, the pilots not safe to fly the plane. Either way, I would rather be here talking to you than up there figuring this out. And she goes, Oh, you're right. And you see this big smile go across your face. And again, that was my goal. And the reason why I'm sharing this is because selfishly there is always kind of what's in there for me out there, right? Well, my goal is to bless her day. And I did that. And she now looks down, she's typing away. She hands me a packet, just like she gave everybody else except in my case instead, you know, one 800 number. It was a voucher for a hotel. And she goes, sir, I just gave you a voucher for a hotel behind the airport. There's no way you can get out of the airport tonight anyway, so why didn't you go have a relaxing evening, and I booked you on a first class flight out of Minnesota, which is where I was tomorrow morning. It's like, thank you. You did not have to do that, ma'am. But I greatly appreciate it. She was no, I appreciate you. And I did have to do that. 

Lindsey Michelle 21:48  

So do you have more to say as you were speaking, the word of reprieve came up for me. Over and over, like when you gave her a moment of reprieve, a moment to relax to check in and for her to feel good. And when she's able to come from that place. Now that you're expecting anything in return, which we give we give freely that's giving us and the the return effect was like a tidal wave overflowing, you have things you did not expect. And so sometimes on this journey, if we're continually coming back to our habits, or our mastering our craft, we didn't even get into that yet. But really knowing that this is the purpose of what I'm doing, I know what I'm doing has impact. For others. The gift in return will be tenfold. We have no idea what

Mike Raber 22:40  

That is so true.

Lindsey Michelle 22:42  

I don't think that's your only story like that, Mike.

Mike Raber 22:44  

Nope, we could go on and on. And one of the other things, too, is how do we get ourselves, I was listening to an interview that Mel Robbins did last week. And she was sharing that she went through like a lot of us over the last year and things had been a bit Rocky. And she was waking up, she lost this series of goals that she spent a long time to achieve, gone, gone, gone, gone. And she was dying to go into kind of self pity party, her words, not mine. And she said, That's not me. I'm a champion, I can't control my outer react, what happens to me, I can just control how I react to them. So she started going to the bathroom. And every time she walked into the bathroom, she would High Five herself and say, add a girl, add a girl. We're gonna make it work today. And it became a routine of hers. And even though it sounds funny to walk into the bathroom first thing in the morning and high five, the mayor, but she set in course, the intention of how the day was going to go. And that was a great example of how taking a negative thought or situation turning it around. Or another good example which kind of ties into what you just said earlier as far as how we work. What's the What will you just set her as by we didn't get into yet. The way that ways to was the phrase how to? Well, the way we set yourself up for success, or the way we as an example. In sales, or in business, we have certain things we need to do in Outlook or outcome that we want to derive from. And one of the things I found with myself and probably a lot of people who are calling whether it's cold calling or I'm making phone calls, is the phone would ring and subconsciously I'm saying please don't answer. Please don't answer. Please don't answer because my goal was I was gonna make 25 calls. And once I made 25 cause I reached my goal. And I didn't really want to talk to any but I want to do what I did because I wanted the outcome but subconsciously I wanted to reach the goal 25 calls I could put on my checklist. I made 25 calls a day, right so Not very effective. So I said, Okay, I have to find a way to turn this into a positive. How can I create a reward? besides the obvious business components? How can I create a reward to make this fun? And what I did was I went to my favorite custard place. And I pulled into the parking lot. And I said, once I talked to the fifth person, then I'm going to buy myself a Sunday. And the phone would ring. And now mind you, the experience parthenos Please don't answer please don't answer. Please don't answer. So I pick it up the next call. Please answer please answer because now our rings rings voicemail. Oh, man, ring ring ring voicemail. Oh, man, nine minute 10 voicemails I have 15 calls left if I don't get five boys, the boys conversations that I give you my Sunday. Right? So then 11 picks up? Hello. Hi, how are you? My energy passpack that is one person close to Sunday. And no lie was like call out the clock. The police are answering the cause. So I got my Sunday. Anything else a book business because of it too. So how do we make it a win win?

Lindsey Michelle 26:20  

That brought up so many things. I've been there done that I've called a lot of people. And yes, the goal, it reminds me of this are so focused on our goal, and specifically how we want it to go that we really just missed the whole boat, we missed the light along the way. And I'm in my Okay, in my experience, I found that I would focus on, you know, a moment a few different things are coming here. I want to say quantity, quality versus quantity. Like, what is the value of one appointment versus 25? calls? What does that? Does that get you out of the 25 calls or Trump the calls? Or when you get into, you know, our five and five verbal interactions equal to or greater than you? Where's the value there? And how do we how do we measure those things? And you talked about science at the beginning and about hope maybe we didn't talk about that, that, you know, graph, we know we can prove things energetically like we know what, you know, grab everyone knows what gravity is. So we know that the one can can question science, right? If it's proven. So how do we measure these things like energy or emotion or progress? How do we how do we make tangible paper progress out of things that are are simply emotional? That's different, right? Yeah. And I like I like your goal of giving yourself the Sunday there's Yeah, there's quite a bit quite a bit there. And it totally changed your interaction with the person, they were probably very happy to talk to you.

Mike Raber 28:12  

Yeah, yeah. Ultimately, it's the outlook, how we look at what we're doing. And our reaction towards that, which goes back to the green and yellow and red snare. You talked them earlier, that if we're coming from a place, I don't want them to answer the phone, because I have to talk to him that certainly isn't green. It's probably somewhere in the middle, I would imagine. It's I don't have an issue with what they do and support. I'm so happy to hear from them. So it's probably not read. And perhaps you may want to explore a little bit more for the listeners of what you mean by that. But it's where do we fall in that? And how do we allow ourselves to resonate back to that happy peaceful place?

Lindsey Michelle 28:53  

Yeah, yeah, admitting to yourself because I, I'm still working on that. Like, I said, I was gonna go do this thing. And then I'm praying that maybe the other person also doesn't want to do this thing. Because energetically I'm feeling like, it's not the day for this walk, what would the thing whatever might be even a phone call, you know, when you're thinking like, I hope they're unavailable, also, you know, and so that actually goes into tapping into the energy of the audience of you, in yourself and others. And so sometimes we can make this plan that's like so straight and to the point and then this date, I'm gonna get this done, and this is going to happen and then you get to that moment and you're like, I don't feel like it. I feel like I don't feel like chocolate today. I feel like green tea ice cream. You don't know that until you get to that point. How do we know how we're gonna feel until we get there? Well, that paying attention to the current energy is really important to and where, where things are flowing and really like it reminds me of letting go of attachment. attachment to outcome.

Mike Raber 30:01  

So true. So true. Do you have any other thoughts that right now and I could see us doing a couple different podcasts on this topic is so vast, but in staying in time for the viewers out there, I have a firm believer that our mind can only absorb what I seek can endure. So as people listen to the different podcasts, I want them to be relatively full of information, but yet relatively short in nature so that people know that there's what's next, coming down the road. So that said, Do you have any things you'd like to share with the listeners on today's topic, or any more things?

Lindsey Michelle 30:39  

We talked about that concept of finding out what makes you happy. And I'd like everyone to go home tonight, after you listen to this. And really go inside and listen to yourself create a really quiet space to receive messages. And what I would like you to focus on the question is, what is it that you can do or not do? Not key key option in the do or not do to get yourself to the state of great. A, what is what does call peace, relaxation feel like to you?

what can you do more or less of eliminate or add to get there? Write it down? Because you might be very surprised. It might be a handstand might be a cartwheel. It might be drinking a glass of water or it might be turning off the radio. You don't know until you go in and find out. I hope you're surprised by the answer. Maybe not been there all along?

Mike Raber 31:46  

Where was this my whole life?

Lindsey Michelle 31:49  

Inside go back to when you were again Gretchen Rubin. I will quote her if you want to know what makes you happy. Go back to when you were 10 years old. I think younger. What did you love doing that

Mike Raber 31:58  

probably hasn't changed much. Yeah, so true. So true. Wonderful. Well, thank you for taking the time to share with the listeners out there. Your much learned wisdom and and outside of Lindsay michele.org. Your website. There's other ways that people may want to get a hold of you what would be some other ways I could find you out there?

Lindsey Michelle 32:23  

Well as a social butterfly, who is very grounded social media. So I you can find me on LinkedIn, under Lindsey, Michelle Rogers, and you can find me on Instagram Lindsey, Michelle 102. That's my birthday. Just like Bucky and Gandhi, 

Mike Raber 32:48  

what you said you're in good company.

Lindsey Michelle 32:53  

A mascot and a guru. And on Facebook, as as Mike has been on prior, I have a talk show called the momentum talk show. There is a Facebook page for that as well. I still hold the healthy mama Facebook page as well. And currently Lindsay Lou, Roger seem to be Lindsay show.

Mike Raber 33:15  

Wonderful. Yes. And for those of you who this is new to I've been at all of it, and there's a lot of incredible information there waiting for you to dive into. So I encourage you to go there.

Lindsey Michelle 33:29  

And I have a group actually called divine beings of light unite. So nice. You'd like to be in the Facebook group where we do a lot of talks on energy. Please join me.

Mike Raber 33:41  

Thank you very much and it's great talking with you. As always, I know we'll be having other conversations so listeners, stay tuned and we'll see on the next podcast. Enjoy.