{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.24,"endTime":3.848,"body":"Hi, everybody, it's Michael. Welcome to another episode"},{"startTime":3.944,"endTime":7.736,"body":"of Restoring the Soul. I am here with"},{"startTime":7.888,"endTime":11.32,"body":"my brother and friend AJ Denson in"},{"startTime":11.36,"endTime":15.192,"body":"Texas. Aj, welcome again. Michael. Good to be"},{"startTime":15.216,"endTime":18.68,"body":"here. Thank you for having me. It's really been fun to have these"},{"startTime":18.72,"endTime":22.2,"body":"conversations and to kind of get to know how we both banter back and"},{"startTime":22.24,"endTime":25.992,"body":"forth and really enjoyed our"},{"startTime":26.016,"endTime":29.32,"body":"conversations over the first two chapters of Sacred Attachment. But"},{"startTime":29.36,"endTime":33.156,"body":"today, what's new with you on man?"},{"startTime":33.228,"endTime":36.996,"body":"Just excited to be here. This is. I've always loved hopping"},{"startTime":37.028,"endTime":40.788,"body":"on the podcast and talking with you. I know we kind of talked before"},{"startTime":40.844,"endTime":44.612,"body":"and you were wanting to dive into Lent, so I'm just gonna"},{"startTime":44.676,"endTime":47.908,"body":"toss it on over to you and we'll go on into"},{"startTime":47.964,"endTime":51.652,"body":"it. Yeah, let's talk about Lent first of"},{"startTime":51.676,"endTime":55.332,"body":"all, you know, because we don't know who's listening. There may be"},{"startTime":55.356,"endTime":59.106,"body":"people who go, oh, I'm, I'm, you know, living in Lent right"},{"startTime":59.178,"endTime":62.946,"body":"now. And I gave up such and such, which is oftentimes"},{"startTime":63.058,"endTime":66.594,"body":"common for people that have Lent as part of their practice."},{"startTime":66.722,"endTime":70.37,"body":"And then there's other people. And I remember talking with you once saying that you"},{"startTime":70.41,"endTime":74.162,"body":"did not grow up in a liturgical church. You guys didn't practice"},{"startTime":74.226,"endTime":77.81,"body":"Lent. And it was actually at a Restoring the Soul men's event that you first"},{"startTime":77.85,"endTime":81.01,"body":"heard about it. That's true. Yeah. I had no idea."},{"startTime":81.17,"endTime":84.866,"body":"So I want to talk to people across the board, but"},{"startTime":84.938,"endTime":88.4,"body":"lent is a 40 day period leading up to"},{"startTime":88.44,"endTime":91.76,"body":"Easter, and it begins on Ash Wednesday, which"},{"startTime":91.8,"endTime":95.584,"body":"is Wednesday 40 days out from Easter. And so"},{"startTime":95.592,"endTime":99.36,"body":"it's on a different day every year. And then it ends on Holy Saturday, which"},{"startTime":99.4,"endTime":102.64,"body":"is the day after Good Friday. And it's a time of"},{"startTime":102.68,"endTime":106.464,"body":"renewal and reflection that"},{"startTime":106.552,"endTime":110.24,"body":"traditionally Christians will have focal times"},{"startTime":110.28,"endTime":113.856,"body":"of prayer. And in liturgical churches like Catholic, Anglican,"},{"startTime":113.888,"endTime":117.508,"body":"Episcopal, Lutheran, even sometimes Methodist, there's different"},{"startTime":117.624,"endTime":121.164,"body":"prayer meetings and rhythms that happen"},{"startTime":121.252,"endTime":125.068,"body":"during this time. But then also traditionally, people will fast during"},{"startTime":125.124,"endTime":128.86,"body":"Lent. And growing up as a Catholic, as a little boy, we could"},{"startTime":128.9,"endTime":132.572,"body":"not during Lent, we couldn't eat fish on Fridays or we couldn't eat meat"},{"startTime":132.636,"endTime":136.06,"body":"on Fridays. And some people might go, oh, that's so"},{"startTime":136.1,"endTime":139.596,"body":"legalistic. And we sure didn't like it as kids. That's"},{"startTime":139.628,"endTime":143.1,"body":"why, depending on what part of the country you're in to this"},{"startTime":143.14,"endTime":146.89,"body":"day, on Fridays, McDonald's, for example, back"},{"startTime":146.93,"endTime":150.23,"body":"on the east coast, where I think there's a greater concentration of"},{"startTime":150.53,"endTime":154.03,"body":"what were once Catholics or people that have that as part of their background,"},{"startTime":154.85,"endTime":157.77,"body":"McDonald's has all these filet o fish"},{"startTime":157.93,"endTime":161.722,"body":"specials. So you can get a filet o fish value Meal. So literally on"},{"startTime":161.746,"endTime":165.13,"body":"Ash Wednesday, like they would have two filet o fish for 99"},{"startTime":165.17,"endTime":168.938,"body":"cents. And at the Catholic church, there's"},{"startTime":168.954,"endTime":172.714,"body":"a men's fraternal order that's a Christian service organization called the"},{"startTime":172.722,"endTime":175.838,"body":"Knights of Columbus. And the Knights of Columbus would always"},{"startTime":175.894,"endTime":179.73,"body":"sponsor every Friday a church fish fry."},{"startTime":180.15,"endTime":183.982,"body":"No way. You know, interestingly so they would, like"},{"startTime":184.006,"endTime":187.758,"body":"in Cleveland, where Lake Erie was, they would cook up perch and"},{"startTime":187.814,"endTime":191.582,"body":"walleye and they would fry fish and then they would have, you"},{"startTime":191.606,"endTime":194.798,"body":"know, like fish and chips or they would have side"},{"startTime":194.854,"endTime":198.206,"body":"dishes, lots of tartar sauce. And of course,"},{"startTime":198.358,"endTime":201.87,"body":"Catholics, they had beer and they had wine,"},{"startTime":202.03,"endTime":205.37,"body":"right? So Southern Baptists might be going, what?"},{"startTime":206.07,"endTime":209.71,"body":"So the word lent, l e n t comes from"},{"startTime":209.75,"endTime":213.47,"body":"Old English. And my understanding is that it's from the word lencten l"},{"startTime":213.51,"endTime":216.638,"body":"e n c t e n and it literally means to"},{"startTime":216.694,"endTime":220.03,"body":"lengthen. And so this time of preparation for"},{"startTime":220.07,"endTime":223.502,"body":"Easter, where it goes from Ash Wednesday"},{"startTime":223.686,"endTime":227.326,"body":"through Holy Saturday, it happens during"},{"startTime":227.398,"endTime":231.118,"body":"springtime when the days start to lengthen and where only,"},{"startTime":231.174,"endTime":234.494,"body":"you know, in America do we change the time and the clocks, where it becomes"},{"startTime":234.542,"endTime":237.77,"body":"really sudden that the days are long, this"},{"startTime":237.81,"endTime":241.61,"body":"lengthening process. And I like to think of that"},{"startTime":241.73,"endTime":244.89,"body":"as that. There's a part of that word"},{"startTime":244.97,"endTime":248.202,"body":"lengthening or from Lent that"},{"startTime":248.306,"endTime":251.978,"body":"relates to this overall idea of this period"},{"startTime":252.114,"endTime":255.578,"body":"of prayer. And fasting is a time of being"},{"startTime":255.634,"endTime":259.45,"body":"stretched, but I get to participate. It's not"},{"startTime":259.49,"endTime":263.242,"body":"where I'm being stretched and I'm helpless and I'm powerless, but I"},{"startTime":263.266,"endTime":266.956,"body":"get to actually say I'm going to participate"},{"startTime":266.988,"endTime":270.524,"body":"and say yes to this being stretched. And so again,"},{"startTime":270.692,"endTime":274.46,"body":"as a little boy in Catholic grade school, and I only"},{"startTime":274.5,"endTime":277.82,"body":"did first grade in Catholic grade school, but my siblings went all the way"},{"startTime":277.86,"endTime":281.708,"body":"through, there would be this question, you know, right before"},{"startTime":281.844,"endTime":285.484,"body":"Ash Wednesday or at the church on that weekend and"},{"startTime":285.572,"endTime":289.42,"body":"in the Sunday school classes or because after I was in"},{"startTime":289.46,"endTime":292.988,"body":"Catholic school, I went to ccd, which were"},{"startTime":293.044,"endTime":296.732,"body":"catechism classes. And on Tuesday afternoon we'd have these classes at the"},{"startTime":296.756,"endTime":300.472,"body":"Catholic school. And the teachers would always say, okay, everybody has to"},{"startTime":300.496,"endTime":304.152,"body":"decide what you're giving up for Lent. And the idea as a"},{"startTime":304.176,"endTime":307.624,"body":"kid, I always thought that, you know, God wants me to deny"},{"startTime":307.672,"endTime":311.304,"body":"myself. God wants me to take my desires and to push"},{"startTime":311.352,"endTime":315.06,"body":"them down. And I have to therefore give up something that I love."},{"startTime":315.36,"endTime":318.58,"body":"And that wasn't exactly it."},{"startTime":318.96,"endTime":322.024,"body":"So when you hear the idea, I just want to throw it back to you."},{"startTime":322.112,"endTime":325.762,"body":"And you hear about this idea that you didn't grow up"},{"startTime":325.786,"endTime":329.138,"body":"with this time of a 40 day period of preparation"},{"startTime":329.314,"endTime":332.818,"body":"marked by prayer and fasting. When you hear about little"},{"startTime":332.874,"endTime":336.482,"body":"kids saying, or even adults saying, yeah, I'm going to give up blank. Like, how"},{"startTime":336.506,"endTime":339.842,"body":"does that strike you? And what have you done with this concept since it's new"},{"startTime":339.866,"endTime":343.618,"body":"to you? Yeah. I mean, off the bat, I am reminded of"},{"startTime":343.674,"endTime":347.026,"body":"people who kind of treat it as a diet. You know, those."},{"startTime":347.098,"endTime":350.882,"body":"January, beginning of the year, 30 day, oh, I'm going"},{"startTime":350.906,"endTime":354.69,"body":"to just stop doing something for a little bit. And the"},{"startTime":354.73,"endTime":358.27,"body":"idea, the more I explore Lent is"},{"startTime":358.65,"endTime":362.45,"body":"an opportunity to take away, not necessarily take away something, but"},{"startTime":362.49,"endTime":366.306,"body":"to do something. If I'm guessing, just growing closer to God"},{"startTime":366.338,"endTime":370.082,"body":"and preparing obviously for Easter and all the different"},{"startTime":370.106,"endTime":373.778,"body":"things. So I don't know. I mean, you're catching me processing it"},{"startTime":373.834,"endTime":377.602,"body":"in live event. But yeah,"},{"startTime":377.666,"endTime":380.962,"body":"and that's okay. And that's why I love the fact that this is a conversation."},{"startTime":381.026,"endTime":384.312,"body":"I mean, I don't. I don't know enough about this from a"},{"startTime":384.336,"endTime":388.136,"body":"historical, theological perspective. I don't know that it's"},{"startTime":388.168,"endTime":391.384,"body":"very interesting to dig super, super deep into that. But I want to have a"},{"startTime":391.392,"endTime":394.872,"body":"conversation because ultimately I'd like the listeners to have a conversation about"},{"startTime":394.896,"endTime":397.78,"body":"this. So, you know, it's interesting. You talked about"},{"startTime":398.64,"endTime":402.424,"body":"doing something instead of giving something up. And historically,"},{"startTime":402.552,"endTime":406.344,"body":"as we think about the spiritual disciplines, or as I like to call them, spiritual"},{"startTime":406.392,"endTime":410.136,"body":"practices, there's two kinds on a continuum. There are"},{"startTime":410.288,"endTime":414.12,"body":"spiritual disciplines and practices of detachment. And"},{"startTime":414.16,"endTime":417.656,"body":"that is typically where I'm letting go of something, I'm giving something"},{"startTime":417.728,"endTime":421.42,"body":"up. And then there's spiritual practices of engagement."},{"startTime":421.84,"endTime":425.528,"body":"And that is that I am going to. Every"},{"startTime":425.584,"endTime":429.432,"body":"time I come to a stop sign or a stoplight,"},{"startTime":429.496,"endTime":433.032,"body":"I'm going to say the Our Father, Our Father who art in heaven, you know,"},{"startTime":433.056,"endTime":436.02,"body":"the Lord's Prayer. Or every time"},{"startTime":436.88,"endTime":440.152,"body":"that I see a homeless person, I'm going to pray for them."},{"startTime":440.336,"endTime":444.072,"body":"Or every time I wake up in the morning, the first thing that I'm going"},{"startTime":444.096,"endTime":447.22,"body":"to do is say Psalm 23."},{"startTime":447.52,"endTime":451.32,"body":"And it's somewhat arbitrary as our own"},{"startTime":451.36,"endTime":455.144,"body":"hearts are desiring to do that. I"},{"startTime":455.152,"endTime":458.68,"body":"don't think that there's anything that God says, you must do this. But"},{"startTime":458.72,"endTime":462.296,"body":"detachment and engagement are also actually"},{"startTime":462.368,"endTime":466.142,"body":"the two sides of our growth. You know, there's always things that we need to"},{"startTime":466.166,"endTime":469.95,"body":"pick up and there's things that we need to let go of. And those"},{"startTime":469.99,"endTime":473.21,"body":"are really the two. The two sides of,"},{"startTime":473.91,"endTime":477.742,"body":"of our spiritual growth. You know, thus my tattoos that you've seen before and"},{"startTime":477.766,"endTime":481.374,"body":"that I write about in the chapter in Sacred Attachment"},{"startTime":481.422,"endTime":485.23,"body":"about practices where the only tattoos I have on my body, on my"},{"startTime":485.27,"endTime":488.894,"body":"right arm, And I happen to be right handed. So my right arm"},{"startTime":488.942,"endTime":492.26,"body":"represents my strength. And it says, be still"},{"startTime":493.04,"endTime":496.792,"body":"something where I need to exhale, where I need to release, where I"},{"startTime":496.816,"endTime":500.28,"body":"need to let go, not let my hands, you know, be"},{"startTime":500.32,"endTime":503.672,"body":"active, trying to grasp like Adam and Eve grasped the"},{"startTime":503.696,"endTime":506.46,"body":"fruit. And then on my left arm,"},{"startTime":507.44,"endTime":511.272,"body":"right on my forearm above where my wrist is, it says, be loved. So"},{"startTime":511.296,"endTime":514.984,"body":"be still in my strengths and striving. Be loved"},{"startTime":515.032,"endTime":518.638,"body":"in my weakness and my vulnerability. And I think that"},{"startTime":518.694,"endTime":521.982,"body":"represents the letting go and the picking up, because the"},{"startTime":522.006,"endTime":525.614,"body":"Beloved is Michael. Take something in,"},{"startTime":525.782,"endTime":529.614,"body":"receive, pick up, receive the embrace"},{"startTime":529.662,"endTime":532.57,"body":"that's there. But back to your point about"},{"startTime":533.27,"endTime":537.022,"body":"the idea of giving something up and letting go. The idea"},{"startTime":537.086,"endTime":540.654,"body":"of fasting as it relates to Lent,"},{"startTime":540.782,"endTime":544.59,"body":"it really represents the 40 days of Jesus spent in the wilderness where"},{"startTime":544.63,"endTime":548.342,"body":"he was fasting before he began his ministry. Okay,"},{"startTime":548.406,"endTime":552.134,"body":"so that period of fasting obviously was at the beginning of his three year ministry"},{"startTime":552.182,"endTime":555.51,"body":"and it wasn't at the end when Easter happened. But the"},{"startTime":555.55,"endTime":559.398,"body":"beautiful thing about celebrations and"},{"startTime":559.454,"endTime":563.014,"body":"seasons and in the church calendar and in church"},{"startTime":563.062,"endTime":566.81,"body":"history, Lent is called a season, a season of the church."},{"startTime":567.15,"endTime":570.982,"body":"And in the Catholic and Episcopal Anglican Church, they"},{"startTime":571.006,"endTime":574.758,"body":"speak about ordinary time and then non ordinary time."},{"startTime":574.814,"endTime":578.512,"body":"And the non ordinary time revolves around the events"},{"startTime":578.656,"endTime":582.032,"body":"of the birth of Christ at"},{"startTime":582.056,"endTime":585.344,"body":"Christmas all the way through Easter. And then there's"},{"startTime":585.472,"endTime":589.152,"body":"ordinary time is actually outside of that. Now, is that true"},{"startTime":589.216,"endTime":592.928,"body":"chronologically in terms of the spinning of the planets and how gravity lines up?"},{"startTime":592.984,"endTime":596.608,"body":"No, but it's on the church calendar because"},{"startTime":596.664,"endTime":599.616,"body":"there's always been, since the earliest"},{"startTime":599.728,"endTime":603.488,"body":"centuries after Jesus died, there's always"},{"startTime":603.544,"endTime":607.264,"body":"been a rhythm and a calendar to mark the events"},{"startTime":607.392,"endTime":611.056,"body":"of the life of Christ and the life of the saints who came"},{"startTime":611.128,"endTime":614.896,"body":"after Jesus and of the church. And"},{"startTime":614.968,"endTime":618.02,"body":"so coming back to this idea,"},{"startTime":619.32,"endTime":623.04,"body":"one of the things I wanted to talk about is the two things"},{"startTime":623.08,"endTime":626.4,"body":"that I'm giving up and the two things that I did decide to"},{"startTime":626.44,"endTime":630.272,"body":"do and I didn't have to give this a lot of"},{"startTime":630.296,"endTime":633.554,"body":"thought like when I was a young kid in Catholic"},{"startTime":633.602,"endTime":637.442,"body":"school, but the first thing that I gave up and"},{"startTime":637.466,"endTime":641.266,"body":"AJ you know that for six weeks I've had"},{"startTime":641.338,"endTime":644.15,"body":"a respiratory virus. Actually two different ones."},{"startTime":644.73,"endTime":648.29,"body":"Craziness for about two and a half weeks of that, I was down in"},{"startTime":648.33,"endTime":652.05,"body":"bed where I had a fever and I was coughing and"},{"startTime":652.09,"endTime":655.89,"body":"I wasn't sleeping at night. And you know, this is not a woe is me,"},{"startTime":655.93,"endTime":659.634,"body":"but I really, really, really was sick and just could not bounce"},{"startTime":659.682,"endTime":663.016,"body":"back. Oh yeah, we were praying for you. Thank you. Thank"},{"startTime":663.048,"endTime":666.616,"body":"you. During this time, I"},{"startTime":666.688,"endTime":669.864,"body":"pretty much Overdosed, I mean, like"},{"startTime":669.952,"endTime":673.3,"body":"overdosed on social media news."},{"startTime":674.16,"endTime":677.592,"body":"And so what I decided to do"},{"startTime":677.696,"endTime":681.192,"body":"when Lent started was to"},{"startTime":681.376,"endTime":684.38,"body":"give up and delete all of my apps."},{"startTime":684.72,"endTime":688.392,"body":"And I won't go into the details about or all my"},{"startTime":688.416,"endTime":691.592,"body":"news apps in particular, I won't go into the details of which apps I have"},{"startTime":691.616,"endTime":695.428,"body":"and how many I had, but there were, oh, on one"},{"startTime":695.484,"endTime":699.06,"body":"hand, with all five fingers, on one hand, I had that"},{"startTime":699.1,"endTime":702.196,"body":"many different news apps. Newspapers,"},{"startTime":702.388,"endTime":705.94,"body":"magazines, blog sites that give news."},{"startTime":706.06,"endTime":709.604,"body":"And then I have a couple of magazines that I regularly subscribe to,"},{"startTime":709.692,"endTime":713.332,"body":"including long, long, long term subscription to the New"},{"startTime":713.356,"endTime":716.852,"body":"Yorker, which has great literary articles and cultural"},{"startTime":716.916,"endTime":720.27,"body":"essays. And I found myself even there looking for"},{"startTime":720.57,"endTime":723.31,"body":"political news and what's happening in the world."},{"startTime":724.17,"endTime":727.922,"body":"And this corresponded with a friend of"},{"startTime":727.946,"endTime":731.762,"body":"the ministry and my friend John Eldredge, who has recently had"},{"startTime":731.786,"endTime":735.47,"body":"the release of his book Experiencing Jesus for Real."},{"startTime":735.93,"endTime":739.762,"body":"And he's been talking on some podcasts and social media. And"},{"startTime":739.786,"endTime":743.49,"body":"his book definitely conveys this about how we can"},{"startTime":743.53,"endTime":747.148,"body":"really experience Jesus. And I heard him on a social"},{"startTime":747.204,"endTime":750.508,"body":"media post before I gave up all the news"},{"startTime":750.564,"endTime":754.188,"body":"apps, talking about the"},{"startTime":754.244,"endTime":757.884,"body":"impact of the news on the soul. And I've always been a"},{"startTime":757.892,"endTime":761.58,"body":"news junkie. But the state that, like, you know, as you're swiping through,"},{"startTime":761.62,"endTime":764.492,"body":"you see people and I like, stopped on this. And the voice, the line that"},{"startTime":764.516,"endTime":768.316,"body":"I heard was, we were never meant to"},{"startTime":768.388,"endTime":772.092,"body":"know about the specific details of everything"},{"startTime":772.196,"endTime":775.98,"body":"happening everywhere in the world. And he"},{"startTime":776.02,"endTime":779.756,"body":"started with Ukraine and he said, we were never meant"},{"startTime":779.788,"endTime":783.548,"body":"to know about how many people are suffering in Ukraine and how many people"},{"startTime":783.604,"endTime":787.452,"body":"are suffering in Russia and how many people are suffering. And then you"},{"startTime":787.476,"endTime":790.796,"body":"went down the list of a couple of the major world events. And my initial"},{"startTime":790.828,"endTime":794.636,"body":"reaction was, that's not right, because I'm supposed to pray"},{"startTime":794.668,"endTime":798.38,"body":"for the people in Ukraine. And then something in me was like,"},{"startTime":798.42,"endTime":801.868,"body":"but wouldn't it be a relief to"},{"startTime":801.924,"endTime":805.388,"body":"not constantly be checking in, to not"},{"startTime":805.444,"endTime":809.26,"body":"constantly be hitting that app and scrolling for the latest piece of"},{"startTime":809.3,"endTime":813.1,"body":"news? Which does one of two things. My"},{"startTime":813.14,"endTime":816.764,"body":"brain is telling me that if I find a piece"},{"startTime":816.812,"endTime":820.412,"body":"of news that's somehow good, or if the person that"},{"startTime":820.436,"endTime":823.868,"body":"I want to be in office or don't want to be in office, if my"},{"startTime":823.924,"endTime":827.622,"body":"guy has a good day or a good week, then"},{"startTime":827.646,"endTime":830.982,"body":"I'm going to be okay inside. But if that's not the"},{"startTime":831.006,"endTime":834.742,"body":"case, then I'm going to feel anxious. And where I"},{"startTime":834.766,"endTime":838.246,"body":"usually go with that is indignation. And"},{"startTime":838.318,"endTime":842.022,"body":"so what I've come to see is that through these news apps, and I"},{"startTime":842.046,"endTime":845.606,"body":"am not anti news and I am not anti technology."},{"startTime":845.758,"endTime":849.062,"body":"I am not a Luddite or an"},{"startTime":849.086,"endTime":852.836,"body":"Amish person. So if you have news apps"},{"startTime":852.958,"endTime":856.2,"body":"and this is not your story right now, more power to"},{"startTime":856.24,"endTime":859.912,"body":"you. But I felt instant relief with"},{"startTime":859.936,"endTime":863.1,"body":"the idea of not having to carry the weight"},{"startTime":863.44,"endTime":866.76,"body":"of what's happening all around the"},{"startTime":866.8,"endTime":870.104,"body":"world. The only person that's meant to carry that"},{"startTime":870.272,"endTime":873.62,"body":"is Jesus. Now"},{"startTime":874.16,"endTime":877.8,"body":"I pray every morning. I have a prayer that I pray for"},{"startTime":877.84,"endTime":881.426,"body":"the world and it begins with asking God"},{"startTime":881.538,"endTime":885.378,"body":"to enter into every moment of darkness, deception,"},{"startTime":885.554,"endTime":889.186,"body":"evil, brokenness and unmaking all throughout"},{"startTime":889.218,"endTime":892.722,"body":"the world and to bring his light and love. And I pray through different categories."},{"startTime":892.786,"endTime":896.258,"body":"I pray for the poor and those living in war and terror and without"},{"startTime":896.314,"endTime":900.114,"body":"life's basic necessities. But that is something that"},{"startTime":900.122,"endTime":903.97,"body":"I'm called to do and I don't need to actually have a"},{"startTime":904.01,"endTime":907.09,"body":"constant update about what's happening in these"},{"startTime":907.13,"endTime":910.466,"body":"places because it's a weight"},{"startTime":910.658,"endTime":914.07,"body":"that we were never meant to carry."},{"startTime":915.45,"endTime":918.83,"body":"I think that it gives us a false sense of security"},{"startTime":919.77,"endTime":923.554,"body":"when we're constantly checking in with the latest"},{"startTime":923.642,"endTime":927.25,"body":"news. Or it gives us, as I said, a sense of"},{"startTime":927.29,"endTime":931.11,"body":"indignation which can make us feel very powerful"},{"startTime":931.45,"endTime":934.882,"body":"in the midst of really being quite powerless and out of"},{"startTime":934.906,"endTime":938.434,"body":"control. You know, one of the things I struggle with on a daily"},{"startTime":938.482,"endTime":941.522,"body":"basis is God. I feel so"},{"startTime":941.546,"endTime":945.378,"body":"helpless and so powerless about what's"},{"startTime":945.394,"endTime":949.058,"body":"happening in the world today, in our country, in our political"},{"startTime":949.194,"endTime":952.03,"body":"system, in all of the"},{"startTime":952.41,"endTime":955.71,"body":"division, what's happening in other countries,"},{"startTime":956.01,"endTime":959.632,"body":"the suffering that's there. And there's seemingly"},{"startTime":959.696,"endTime":963.376,"body":"nothing I can do about it. And prayer sometimes doesn't"},{"startTime":963.408,"endTime":967.232,"body":"seem to make a difference. But if I click and"},{"startTime":967.256,"endTime":970.736,"body":"if I read and if I file one article to the next,"},{"startTime":970.888,"endTime":974.688,"body":"and if I give this my attention, then there's the sense of, well, maybe I'm"},{"startTime":974.704,"endTime":978.528,"body":"not so powerless. So I"},{"startTime":978.584,"endTime":982.176,"body":"gave that up for Lent. And here's the effect."},{"startTime":982.328,"endTime":985.618,"body":"First of all, I'll let you comment. Thoughts. Yeah, tell me I'm"},{"startTime":985.634,"endTime":989.394,"body":"crazy. No, I think going back to what you said earlier, you got"},{"startTime":989.482,"endTime":992.63,"body":"detachment and engagement. That's a huge way to detach."},{"startTime":993.05,"endTime":996.306,"body":"Part of my question was going to be what you're going to engage"},{"startTime":996.498,"endTime":999.954,"body":"with. Like, there's that duality in that. But I think you'll get to that. But"},{"startTime":999.962,"endTime":1003.73,"body":"I'm with you, man. I have. I read. I'm 25"},{"startTime":1003.77,"endTime":1007.346,"body":"and I read the newspaper. So call me old, I don't care. But"},{"startTime":1007.418,"endTime":1011.116,"body":"I definitely relate to picking up the news and you're"},{"startTime":1011.148,"endTime":1014.94,"body":"just reading and reading and you like to think it brings you any form"},{"startTime":1014.98,"endTime":1018.732,"body":"of worth and idea of what's going on and that you can"},{"startTime":1018.756,"endTime":1022.44,"body":"do anything about it. So this is eye opening for me and"},{"startTime":1022.98,"endTime":1026.476,"body":"because I can leave listening to the news and have a heavy"},{"startTime":1026.508,"endTime":1029.6,"body":"burden. So I appreciate you sharing. Absolutely."},{"startTime":1030.26,"endTime":1033.72,"body":"I wanted to take a moment. Sorry, go ahead."},{"startTime":1034.02,"endTime":1036.492,"body":"No, I just say you had mentioned two things, so I was going to hear"},{"startTime":1036.516,"endTime":1040.12,"body":"about that. But what do you want to take a moment?"},{"startTime":1040.28,"endTime":1043.672,"body":"Well, I want to actually go ahead. And I want to pray this prayer just"},{"startTime":1043.696,"endTime":1047.16,"body":"to give people an example. When you said that there's detachment and"},{"startTime":1047.2,"endTime":1050.872,"body":"engagement, first of all, I may miscommunicate it"},{"startTime":1050.896,"endTime":1054.312,"body":"because we don't need to be doing. It's not like if we detach, then we"},{"startTime":1054.336,"endTime":1057.976,"body":"have to engage. So detachment might mean that"},{"startTime":1058.048,"endTime":1061.8,"body":"I'm going to give up dessert, not so that 40 days"},{"startTime":1061.84,"endTime":1065.562,"body":"from now I can have three donuts instead of zero to"},{"startTime":1065.586,"endTime":1069.098,"body":"make up for it. But I'm going to give up dessert, which was often something"},{"startTime":1069.154,"endTime":1072.97,"body":"that we would do as kids because as an adult"},{"startTime":1073.05,"endTime":1076.506,"body":"now, in the absence of having dessert, like all"},{"startTime":1076.578,"endTime":1080.282,"body":"fasting, there's something in me that's being unmet,"},{"startTime":1080.426,"endTime":1083.738,"body":"that I get to surrender to say in this place where I'm not"},{"startTime":1083.794,"endTime":1087.45,"body":"indulging, where I'm not taking in, where I'm not having this moment of"},{"startTime":1087.49,"endTime":1091.318,"body":"joy, I'm somehow going to be able to be more open, aware"},{"startTime":1091.494,"endTime":1095.11,"body":"of the longing in my heart for God. If there's an"},{"startTime":1095.15,"endTime":1098.294,"body":"emptiness or a craving in me for not having"},{"startTime":1098.382,"endTime":1101.894,"body":"dessert, that that emptiness and that craving might actually"},{"startTime":1101.982,"endTime":1105.686,"body":"lead me to a longing for God. You know, it was Thomas"},{"startTime":1105.718,"endTime":1109.43,"body":"Merton who said that what we do with the"},{"startTime":1109.47,"endTime":1112.406,"body":"restlessness inside of us becomes our Christian"},{"startTime":1112.438,"endTime":1115.98,"body":"spirituality. And so if I don't have dessert,"},{"startTime":1116.11,"endTime":1119.92,"body":"I might feel a lot more restless inside because that dessert will"},{"startTime":1119.96,"endTime":1123.04,"body":"make me feel better. It might make me. The sugar might make me feel more"},{"startTime":1123.08,"endTime":1126.128,"body":"comforted, it might just make me feel less"},{"startTime":1126.264,"endTime":1129.84,"body":"empty. So in that detachment, it's an"},{"startTime":1129.88,"endTime":1133.584,"body":"opportunity to be able to reflect and to be present"},{"startTime":1133.672,"endTime":1137.312,"body":"to God as a preparation for observing"},{"startTime":1137.456,"endTime":1141.008,"body":"this holy week of Maundy Thursday, Good"},{"startTime":1141.064,"endTime":1144.886,"body":"Friday, Holy Saturday, and then the resurrection"},{"startTime":1144.918,"endTime":1147.89,"body":"of Jesus on Sunday."},{"startTime":1148.59,"endTime":1152.422,"body":"So this season and this 40 day pattern just becomes a"},{"startTime":1152.446,"endTime":1155.686,"body":"structure that we can kind of hang our hats on."},{"startTime":1155.838,"endTime":1159.686,"body":"And it's as simple as you said, detachment"},{"startTime":1159.718,"endTime":1163.398,"body":"and engagement. But I want to read this prayer. And I know I'm"},{"startTime":1163.414,"endTime":1166.998,"body":"jumping around a little bit because I suspect that"},{"startTime":1167.054,"endTime":1170.894,"body":"some people may have heard me when I quoted John Eldridge say, you"},{"startTime":1170.902,"endTime":1174.686,"body":"know, that's just so wrong that we're not to be concerned about the world."},{"startTime":1174.758,"endTime":1177.502,"body":"Well, number one, I didn't say that, he said, nor am I saying that we"},{"startTime":1177.526,"endTime":1181.31,"body":"shouldn't be concerned about the world. What I'm saying is that"},{"startTime":1181.35,"endTime":1184.846,"body":"we don't need 24, seven updates and we were never"},{"startTime":1184.918,"endTime":1188.702,"body":"created to have that. So back"},{"startTime":1188.726,"endTime":1192.51,"body":"in 1960, people were"},{"startTime":1192.55,"endTime":1196.15,"body":"not seeing on their news, the evening news,"},{"startTime":1196.31,"endTime":1200.118,"body":"all of the killing and the bombing going on in Vietnam. That didn't happen"},{"startTime":1200.174,"endTime":1203.862,"body":"until mid to late 60s. And that happened and it began"},{"startTime":1203.926,"endTime":1207.702,"body":"to turn the tide of a group of young people, we called them the"},{"startTime":1207.726,"endTime":1211.414,"body":"hippies, the peaceniks, or people that were just against the war, that they began"},{"startTime":1211.462,"endTime":1215.19,"body":"to stand up and resist because they actually had the knowledge and they were"},{"startTime":1215.23,"endTime":1218.87,"body":"seeing it happen every night. And that began to change things"},{"startTime":1218.91,"endTime":1222.518,"body":"politically. And so some people might be saying, we'll see. This knowledge of what's"},{"startTime":1222.534,"endTime":1225.976,"body":"happening in the world allows us to fight for justice. And I would say"},{"startTime":1226.118,"endTime":1229.748,"body":"that's a good thing. But what is the price"},{"startTime":1229.884,"endTime":1233.204,"body":"upon your soul? When Jesus"},{"startTime":1233.252,"endTime":1237.076,"body":"said in Mark, chapter seven, I believe, and it's"},{"startTime":1237.108,"endTime":1240.724,"body":"also in Luke, and he said, what will it profit a person if they gain"},{"startTime":1240.772,"endTime":1244.58,"body":"the whole world and lose their own soul? John Ortberg said"},{"startTime":1244.62,"endTime":1248.02,"body":"once that that passage is not talking about the"},{"startTime":1248.06,"endTime":1251.876,"body":"destination of our soul, like heaven or hell. Jesus wasn't saying,"},{"startTime":1251.948,"endTime":1255.612,"body":"if you, you know, gain the whole world, you're going to go to hell. What"},{"startTime":1255.636,"endTime":1259.436,"body":"he was saying is that what Jesus was talking about, the condition"},{"startTime":1259.548,"endTime":1263.212,"body":"of our soul, the well being of our soul, the wholeness"},{"startTime":1263.276,"endTime":1266.636,"body":"of our heart, the lightness of our spirit,"},{"startTime":1266.828,"endTime":1270.62,"body":"are we living on the easy yoke where Jesus said,"},{"startTime":1270.66,"endTime":1273.932,"body":"come to me all you who are weary and heavy"},{"startTime":1273.996,"endTime":1277.82,"body":"burdened, come to me. My yoke is easy and my burden is"},{"startTime":1277.86,"endTime":1281.686,"body":"light. Well, the only reason why I'm"},{"startTime":1281.718,"endTime":1285.01,"body":"talking about giving up the news"},{"startTime":1285.39,"endTime":1289.17,"body":"is because it's a heavy yoke for me."},{"startTime":1289.47,"endTime":1292.998,"body":"It's burdening me, it's weighing down my soul."},{"startTime":1293.174,"endTime":1296.998,"body":"And so there's something in me that's actually been light. There's something"},{"startTime":1297.054,"endTime":1299.85,"body":"in me that has actually felt more joy."},{"startTime":1300.51,"endTime":1304.198,"body":"There's something in me that I have not felt as powerless and"},{"startTime":1304.254,"endTime":1308.05,"body":"helpless overall in my life. The way that I feel when I and"},{"startTime":1308.09,"endTime":1311.394,"body":"constantly reading the news and especially doing deep, deep"},{"startTime":1311.442,"endTime":1313.55,"body":"dives into the news."},{"startTime":1315.93,"endTime":1318.39,"body":"Fascinating. Yeah."},{"startTime":1320.65,"endTime":1323.87,"body":"Wow. Yeah, I'm just sitting here processing that."},{"startTime":1324.25,"endTime":1328.018,"body":"So not necessarily when Jesus is talking about"},{"startTime":1328.074,"endTime":1331.266,"body":"this light yoke, is it bad things"},{"startTime":1331.418,"endTime":1335.09,"body":"that I've always viewed it as yoke getting off these"},{"startTime":1335.13,"endTime":1338.658,"body":"bad things, but it can be good things that just aren't good"},{"startTime":1338.714,"endTime":1342.226,"body":"for your soul necessarily. Well, this"},{"startTime":1342.298,"endTime":1345.826,"body":"leads to the second thing that I gave Up. So great segue,"},{"startTime":1346.018,"endTime":1349.378,"body":"you know, when Jesus is talking about that"},{"startTime":1349.434,"endTime":1353.106,"body":"easy yoke in the message paraphrase many people"},{"startTime":1353.178,"endTime":1356.578,"body":"that are listeners to this program will be familiar with. We're talking about"},{"startTime":1356.634,"endTime":1360.194,"body":"Matthew 11, 28, 30, and"},{"startTime":1360.362,"endTime":1363.936,"body":"the king James English says, all you who are,"},{"startTime":1364.098,"endTime":1367.78,"body":"who are weary and heavy laden, come to me and I will give you"},{"startTime":1367.82,"endTime":1371.412,"body":"rest. My yoke is easy, my burden is light. And in the"},{"startTime":1371.436,"endTime":1374.08,"body":"message paraphrase Eugene Peters says."},{"startTime":1374.86,"endTime":1377.68,"body":"Eugene Peterson paraphrases it as"},{"startTime":1379.1,"endTime":1382.36,"body":"are you weary? Are you tired?"},{"startTime":1382.86,"endTime":1386.34,"body":"Come to me and I will give you rest. Learn the unforced"},{"startTime":1386.42,"endTime":1390.27,"body":"rhythms of grace. Come to me, watch with me, work"},{"startTime":1390.31,"endTime":1393.838,"body":"with me, watch how I do it. And then here's this beautiful line"},{"startTime":1393.974,"endTime":1397.742,"body":"which is really what the yoke is about. He says,"},{"startTime":1397.926,"endTime":1401.662,"body":"I won't lay anything heavy or ill"},{"startTime":1401.726,"endTime":1405.134,"body":"fitting on you. I won't lay"},{"startTime":1405.182,"endTime":1408.83,"body":"anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Come to"},{"startTime":1408.87,"endTime":1412.37,"body":"me and learn to live freely and lightly."},{"startTime":1413.35,"endTime":1416.928,"body":"That's the easy yoke. So we"},{"startTime":1416.984,"endTime":1420.3,"body":"often lay heavy things on us."},{"startTime":1420.92,"endTime":1424.1,"body":"We lay heavy things on ourself with the belief"},{"startTime":1424.44,"endTime":1428.08,"body":"that God wants us to do that because it's hard or because"},{"startTime":1428.12,"endTime":1431.28,"body":"it's heavy or because that seems really spiritual. And"},{"startTime":1431.32,"endTime":1435.088,"body":"Jesus invites us to die right in Luke 9"},{"startTime":1435.144,"endTime":1438.688,"body":"and in two other Gospels. His invitation is, if you are going to follow"},{"startTime":1438.744,"endTime":1442.492,"body":"me, you're going to have to lose your life so you can. And"},{"startTime":1442.516,"endTime":1446.236,"body":"for the early disciples, that meant literally losing their life. And for us"},{"startTime":1446.308,"endTime":1450.012,"body":"that means the surrender of the things that"},{"startTime":1450.036,"endTime":1453.772,"body":"are life defining, that make our life work, that allow us to"},{"startTime":1453.796,"endTime":1457.58,"body":"manage and to control our lives. So there's a"},{"startTime":1457.62,"endTime":1461.404,"body":"difference between the fact that Jesus invites us to actually"},{"startTime":1461.572,"endTime":1464.12,"body":"die, to find life,"},{"startTime":1464.9,"endTime":1468.7,"body":"to die, to resurrect, to experience"},{"startTime":1468.82,"endTime":1472.22,"body":"something new. And this contrast with"},{"startTime":1472.76,"endTime":1476.176,"body":"if it's from Jesus, it's got to be heavy and hard"},{"startTime":1476.328,"endTime":1479.76,"body":"and, you know, it's got to be this big mountain that I'm going to climb,"},{"startTime":1479.92,"endTime":1483.392,"body":"because I'll say it again, he says, learn the unforced"},{"startTime":1483.456,"endTime":1486.96,"body":"rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything"},{"startTime":1487.04,"endTime":1489.9,"body":"heavy or ill fitting on you."},{"startTime":1490.68,"endTime":1493.904,"body":"So as a little kid, you know, I would give up chocolate"},{"startTime":1493.952,"endTime":1497.582,"body":"milk on my lunch hour and I would just drink"},{"startTime":1497.646,"endTime":1501.198,"body":"regular milk and the chocolate milk had a lot of sugar in it."},{"startTime":1501.334,"endTime":1504.99,"body":"And there was this sense where even as a little kid I was like, well,"},{"startTime":1505.03,"endTime":1508.734,"body":"God must be really impressed with the fact that I'm not drinking"},{"startTime":1508.782,"endTime":1511.806,"body":"chocolate milk. And I think God probably"},{"startTime":1511.918,"endTime":1515.678,"body":"smiled in terms of, well, isn't that delightful that a little boy"},{"startTime":1515.774,"endTime":1519.006,"body":"is doing that? And I don't know that any first grader really"},{"startTime":1519.078,"endTime":1522.432,"body":"understands the depths of that. But it was what I could do for"},{"startTime":1522.526,"endTime":1525.724,"body":"God. But to me, it was like, here's this heavy"},{"startTime":1525.772,"endTime":1529.4,"body":"thing. There's something that I love that I've got to give up."},{"startTime":1529.86,"endTime":1533.02,"body":"And in reality, this is the"},{"startTime":1533.06,"endTime":1536.876,"body":"segue. The other thing that I gave up, and I'm being deadly serious"},{"startTime":1536.908,"endTime":1540.732,"body":"about this, is I gave up trying to"},{"startTime":1540.756,"endTime":1544.22,"body":"be a good Christian. You're nodding your"},{"startTime":1544.26,"endTime":1547.32,"body":"head. Yeah, I."},{"startTime":1548.27,"endTime":1551.75,"body":"I'd love to hear you elaborate on that. So"},{"startTime":1551.87,"endTime":1555.446,"body":"I'm 60 years old. You know, I've been a follower of Jesus in an active"},{"startTime":1555.478,"endTime":1559.19,"body":"way since I was 16. And there's still something inside of"},{"startTime":1559.23,"endTime":1562.79,"body":"me that says I need to do X,"},{"startTime":1562.91,"endTime":1566.406,"body":"Y, or Z to be a better"},{"startTime":1566.478,"endTime":1570.294,"body":"Christian. And even though I write books now about"},{"startTime":1570.382,"endTime":1573.996,"body":"how much God loves us and embraces us"},{"startTime":1574.118,"endTime":1577.952,"body":"and doesn't see us for who we should be, but he embraces us for who"},{"startTime":1577.976,"endTime":1581.824,"body":"we actually are. And I know this all in"},{"startTime":1581.832,"endTime":1585.504,"body":"my head. There's parts of me, younger parts,"},{"startTime":1585.632,"endTime":1589.424,"body":"internal parts, parts that, using ifs"},{"startTime":1589.472,"endTime":1593.04,"body":"language, manage pain, try to"},{"startTime":1593.08,"endTime":1596.704,"body":"prevent pain from happening. And then"},{"startTime":1596.712,"endTime":1600.464,"body":"there's firefighters, parts of me that are responding to the pain"},{"startTime":1600.512,"endTime":1603.424,"body":"and, you know, something's on fire and it's going to put it out. Parts of"},{"startTime":1603.432,"endTime":1607.23,"body":"me that are still very compulsive. So there's this"},{"startTime":1607.27,"endTime":1610.942,"body":"part of me that after I decided"},{"startTime":1611.006,"endTime":1614.686,"body":"to give up the news, and it has been really significant, as I've been talking"},{"startTime":1614.718,"endTime":1618.17,"body":"about here, another part of me said,"},{"startTime":1619.35,"endTime":1623.006,"body":"that's really not significant enough. You know, if you were to do something"},{"startTime":1623.078,"endTime":1626.25,"body":"more like, okay, give up the news, but, you know,"},{"startTime":1627.83,"endTime":1631.618,"body":"don't eat for 24 hours one day a week. Because I have a friend,"},{"startTime":1631.734,"endTime":1635.482,"body":"another part of the country, who he has, like, this spiritual gift that's a"},{"startTime":1635.506,"endTime":1638.762,"body":"really cool thing where he fasts and he'll call me up and he'll go, you"},{"startTime":1638.786,"endTime":1642.058,"body":"know, I'm fasting during such and such times or anything, I can pray for you."},{"startTime":1642.114,"endTime":1645.722,"body":"And I've really come to trust that he's not doing this to impress God or"},{"startTime":1645.746,"endTime":1649.45,"body":"to impress me. Like, this is something he feels called to do because in"},{"startTime":1649.49,"endTime":1653.242,"body":"that fasting, it opens up space, and the physical hunger"},{"startTime":1653.306,"endTime":1656.778,"body":"that comes allows him to sublimate that."},{"startTime":1656.834,"endTime":1660.642,"body":"That hunger toward God. So there's a part"},{"startTime":1660.666,"endTime":1664.434,"body":"of me that's like, if I was really spiritual and if I was really a"},{"startTime":1664.442,"endTime":1667.682,"body":"good Christian, and here's the phrase, if I was really"},{"startTime":1667.786,"endTime":1671.346,"body":"committed, then, you know,"},{"startTime":1671.498,"endTime":1675.042,"body":"I would fast, like so and so, or I would"},{"startTime":1675.226,"endTime":1679.042,"body":"pray longer every morning. Now,"},{"startTime":1679.066,"endTime":1682.898,"body":"here's the. Here's the very delicate line that we're"},{"startTime":1682.914,"endTime":1686.32,"body":"going to walk. Okay. Alrighty. It's a good thing to"},{"startTime":1686.36,"endTime":1689.952,"body":"pray and it's probably a good thing to pray more"},{"startTime":1690.056,"endTime":1693.712,"body":"if you are inclined to do that and if Jesus"},{"startTime":1693.776,"endTime":1697.456,"body":"is leading you to do that and if it's not a heavy"},{"startTime":1697.488,"endTime":1701.312,"body":"yoke, if it is heavy or ill"},{"startTime":1701.376,"endTime":1705.184,"body":"fitting, and if you're doing it, and I'm not talking about normal resistance"},{"startTime":1705.232,"endTime":1708.4,"body":"like, oh, I need a second cup of coffee here at six in the morning"},{"startTime":1708.52,"endTime":1711.6,"body":"because this is hard to stay awake while I'm praying. I'm not talking about that"},{"startTime":1711.64,"endTime":1715.294,"body":"kind of normal stuff because for centuries, monks"},{"startTime":1715.342,"endTime":1719.102,"body":"and nuns and other people that get up and pray the hours through the"},{"startTime":1719.126,"endTime":1722.926,"body":"day, 24 hours in the middle of the night, they pray and they love God"},{"startTime":1722.958,"endTime":1726.75,"body":"and they're tired and they have to battle falling asleep. I'm talking about the part"},{"startTime":1726.79,"endTime":1730.574,"body":"of me that goes, I don't want to be doing this, or"},{"startTime":1730.662,"endTime":1734.062,"body":"I'm only doing this because you know, God will be more"},{"startTime":1734.086,"endTime":1737.77,"body":"impressed with it. So there's this subtle line"},{"startTime":1738.47,"endTime":1742.16,"body":"between things that are hard and things"},{"startTime":1742.2,"endTime":1745.952,"body":"that we go, yeah, I feel led to do that"},{"startTime":1745.976,"endTime":1749.52,"body":"and it'll be hard. And the other side of that"},{"startTime":1749.56,"endTime":1752.86,"body":"subtle line in me that goes, I'm not doing enough."},{"startTime":1753.24,"endTime":1756.7,"body":"And if I prayed more or fasted or"},{"startTime":1758.28,"endTime":1762.032,"body":"maybe I should every Friday schedule out and go down to"},{"startTime":1762.056,"endTime":1765.872,"body":"the Sacred Heart Retreat center and spend six hours there in silence, that would"},{"startTime":1765.896,"endTime":1769.51,"body":"be really great preparation. Yeah, that"},{"startTime":1769.55,"endTime":1772.95,"body":"becomes burdensome. That becomes the heavy yoke that"},{"startTime":1772.99,"endTime":1776.662,"body":"Jesus says, I don't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on"},{"startTime":1776.686,"endTime":1780.342,"body":"you. So here's the statement. If it feels heavy and if"},{"startTime":1780.366,"endTime":1784.01,"body":"it feels ill fitting, it's not from Jesus."},{"startTime":1785.39,"endTime":1789.206,"body":"And in my tendency to be a little bit perfectionistic"},{"startTime":1789.238,"endTime":1792.57,"body":"and to be self critical and a lot of that comes out of shame,"},{"startTime":1793.15,"endTime":1796.774,"body":"the second thing I'm giving up, as I said, was I'm giving up"},{"startTime":1796.862,"endTime":1800.438,"body":"this lifelong struggle of I've got to be"},{"startTime":1800.494,"endTime":1804.342,"body":"better, I've got to do more. And what"},{"startTime":1804.366,"endTime":1808.102,"body":"I hear the Lord saying to me is, michael, this thing"},{"startTime":1808.126,"endTime":1811.302,"body":"you're doing with the news, that is so good for your"},{"startTime":1811.326,"endTime":1815.078,"body":"soul. And I'm excited for"},{"startTime":1815.134,"endTime":1818.784,"body":"what's happening in you. Even as, for example,"},{"startTime":1818.832,"endTime":1822.56,"body":"I wake up in the morning and one of the things I try"},{"startTime":1822.6,"endTime":1826.32,"body":"to do is to pray the third step prayer from the"},{"startTime":1826.36,"endTime":1830.16,"body":"12 steps. And it says, God, I offer myself to you to build with"},{"startTime":1830.2,"endTime":1833.968,"body":"me and do with me as you will. Relieve me from the bondage of"},{"startTime":1834.024,"endTime":1837.52,"body":"self that I may better do your will take away my"},{"startTime":1837.56,"endTime":1841.312,"body":"difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those that"},{"startTime":1841.336,"endTime":1843.792,"body":"I would help of your power, your love, and your way of life. May I"},{"startTime":1843.816,"endTime":1847.622,"body":"do thy will always. So several months ago, I just started trying to. First"},{"startTime":1847.646,"endTime":1851.222,"body":"thing when I wake up and I become conscious, I say that prayer. It's just"},{"startTime":1851.246,"endTime":1854.598,"body":"a beautiful way to surrender into the day. And I"},{"startTime":1854.654,"endTime":1858.294,"body":"find that when I'm not deep"},{"startTime":1858.342,"endTime":1861.73,"body":"diving and I'll literally say, binging on news,"},{"startTime":1862.03,"endTime":1865.43,"body":"that I'm much more likely to pray and to come to the"},{"startTime":1865.47,"endTime":1869.174,"body":"prayers that are written prayers or psalms"},{"startTime":1869.222,"endTime":1872.972,"body":"or different Bible verses that I will pray. Those are much more likely to"},{"startTime":1872.996,"endTime":1876.732,"body":"come because it feels like my heart is unburdened and that"},{"startTime":1876.756,"endTime":1880.38,"body":"there's not something heavy on my heart. And"},{"startTime":1880.42,"endTime":1884.22,"body":"then in that space of connecting with God and"},{"startTime":1884.26,"endTime":1888.06,"body":"bringing my heart to him, it's almost as if there's something"},{"startTime":1888.1,"endTime":1891.836,"body":"in me subconsciously. And I think this is the spirit of God that's"},{"startTime":1891.868,"endTime":1895.58,"body":"saying, oh. Rather than click on the article in the"},{"startTime":1895.62,"endTime":1899.384,"body":"New York Times, which will give me either a shot of dopamine"},{"startTime":1899.512,"endTime":1903.272,"body":"because my people are winning, or because, you know, this is"},{"startTime":1903.296,"endTime":1907.112,"body":"happening in the world and now I'm okay, or which will give me a"},{"startTime":1907.136,"endTime":1910.856,"body":"shot of cortisol, which will make me feel indignant and"},{"startTime":1910.928,"endTime":1914.568,"body":"angry, I get to actually come to God and go, here's my"},{"startTime":1914.624,"endTime":1917.96,"body":"heart. Relieve me, Lord, from the bondage of"},{"startTime":1918.0,"endTime":1921.832,"body":"self. And I offer myself"},{"startTime":1921.896,"endTime":1925.22,"body":"to you to build with me and do with me as you will."},{"startTime":1926.27,"endTime":1929.798,"body":"And I'm sure that I'm eventually going to return to the news"},{"startTime":1929.854,"endTime":1933.462,"body":"apps, but I think if I do it, I might have one, and it might"},{"startTime":1933.486,"endTime":1936.534,"body":"be an app where there's maybe a couple of headlines and I can't do a"},{"startTime":1936.542,"endTime":1940.118,"body":"very deep dive. And my hope is that after this"},{"startTime":1940.174,"endTime":1943.49,"body":"40 days where I'm fasting from the news,"},{"startTime":1943.95,"endTime":1947.43,"body":"that God speaks to me and my own heart says,"},{"startTime":1947.47,"endTime":1951.302,"body":"well, here's how I want to live. I think that's the other thing"},{"startTime":1951.326,"endTime":1955.126,"body":"about Lent in the season of preparation"},{"startTime":1955.318,"endTime":1959.078,"body":"is it allows us, during this time of reflection, to actually"},{"startTime":1959.134,"endTime":1962.694,"body":"think about how we want to live. Because it feels like,"},{"startTime":1962.782,"endTime":1966.502,"body":"whatever, 365 days minus 40. Can you do that math?"},{"startTime":1966.566,"endTime":1970.262,"body":"325, yeah. Oh, I'm impressed with myself."},{"startTime":1970.326,"endTime":1973.99,"body":"Yeah. Way to go, man. Nailed that. The other 325 days"},{"startTime":1974.03,"endTime":1977.878,"body":"of the year, I often just. I live reflexively, like, I'm"},{"startTime":1977.894,"endTime":1981.51,"body":"not living intentionally. And so this 40 days becomes a time of going,"},{"startTime":1981.55,"endTime":1985.222,"body":"oh, this is how I want to live. And how I want to"},{"startTime":1985.246,"endTime":1989.046,"body":"live is a heart that's able to be more spontaneous and"},{"startTime":1989.118,"endTime":1992.37,"body":"free to reach out to,"},{"startTime":1992.67,"endTime":1996.006,"body":"to speak to, to be in Union with"},{"startTime":1996.078,"endTime":1999.766,"body":"God rather than to be in union with and to practice"},{"startTime":1999.798,"endTime":2003.606,"body":"the presence of the New York Times or whatever, you know, digital"},{"startTime":2003.678,"endTime":2007.286,"body":"apps are there. Yeah. Now, we've not even yet"},{"startTime":2007.358,"endTime":2011.2,"body":"spoken about the addictive algorithms and things"},{"startTime":2011.24,"endTime":2014.368,"body":"like that that are built and baked into the news as well. Right. So there's"},{"startTime":2014.384,"endTime":2018.08,"body":"this, there's this machine behind the scenes that they're not just"},{"startTime":2018.12,"endTime":2021.42,"body":"presenting content and news, they're actually,"},{"startTime":2022.84,"endTime":2026.528,"body":"they're they're administering the drug of the content of the news"},{"startTime":2026.584,"endTime":2030.352,"body":"in a way that is literally causing dopamine hits in my brain. So"},{"startTime":2030.376,"endTime":2034.192,"body":"that I go from this article to this article to this link with these images"},{"startTime":2034.256,"endTime":2037.914,"body":"in between, and I don't want to live that"},{"startTime":2038.002,"endTime":2040.35,"body":"non reflectively and unintentionally."},{"startTime":2041.65,"endTime":2045.466,"body":"Yeah. Wow. Well, let me just first by say starting"},{"startTime":2045.498,"endTime":2049.338,"body":"off and say thank you for your vulnerability. That was. And"},{"startTime":2049.394,"endTime":2053.194,"body":"welcoming us into that. I mean, that is just huge. Second."},{"startTime":2053.282,"endTime":2057.018,"body":"Yeah, that totally. I'm sensing"},{"startTime":2057.114,"endTime":2060.79,"body":"a lot of. Instead of doing, being."},{"startTime":2062.22,"endTime":2065.684,"body":"And that seems like a light yoke"},{"startTime":2065.812,"endTime":2069.476,"body":"to go with our conversation. And yeah, those algorithms are"},{"startTime":2069.628,"endTime":2073.412,"body":"aggressive. I always say if it's free, you're the product and they"},{"startTime":2073.436,"endTime":2077.156,"body":"want you looking and engaged in that. And not that there's anything"},{"startTime":2077.188,"endTime":2080.404,"body":"inherently wrong with it, but it can be a soul"},{"startTime":2080.452,"endTime":2083.78,"body":"sucking thing. So,"},{"startTime":2083.82,"endTime":2086.48,"body":"yeah, I'm encouraged by that. Thank you."},{"startTime":2087.509,"endTime":2090.733,"body":"Yeah. So, you know, in terms of your lack"},{"startTime":2090.781,"endTime":2094.397,"body":"of exposure and experience to Lent, just"},{"startTime":2094.453,"endTime":2097.661,"body":"think in terms of during this season between now and"},{"startTime":2097.685,"endTime":2101.277,"body":"Easter, not even making a lent thing. Is there"},{"startTime":2101.333,"endTime":2104.973,"body":"something for you and for our listeners that God"},{"startTime":2105.021,"endTime":2108.813,"body":"is saying, hey, here's an invitation, or here's a tap"},{"startTime":2108.861,"endTime":2112.237,"body":"on the shoulder or a whisper of. Have you thought about"},{"startTime":2112.293,"endTime":2115.692,"body":"detaching from blank? Yeah,"},{"startTime":2115.756,"endTime":2119.548,"body":"absolutely. The thing that I'm hanging on to the most is"},{"startTime":2119.604,"endTime":2123.196,"body":"going back to what we were talking about is what that heavy yoke is."},{"startTime":2123.268,"endTime":2126.46,"body":"It doesn't have to necessarily be a bad thing, but just a thing that is"},{"startTime":2126.5,"endTime":2129.8,"body":"bad for you. And"},{"startTime":2130.18,"endTime":2133.5,"body":"I'm not as hooked on the news, but I know for"},{"startTime":2133.54,"endTime":2137.308,"body":"me, I watch a lot of YouTube and those"},{"startTime":2137.364,"endTime":2141.162,"body":"algorithms for social media can be very draining. And again, not"},{"startTime":2141.186,"endTime":2145.002,"body":"inherently bad, but too much of anything can be poor."},{"startTime":2145.066,"endTime":2148.11,"body":"So I know from my own reflection that would be a huge"},{"startTime":2148.77,"endTime":2152.554,"body":"thing to do before Easter. And honestly,"},{"startTime":2152.602,"endTime":2156.41,"body":"yeah, I'm just really hanging on to what other rhythms in my"},{"startTime":2156.45,"endTime":2160.17,"body":"life that I'm just like, oh, that exists that I don't think"},{"startTime":2160.21,"endTime":2163.93,"body":"twice about, but could open up a door to be with God and"},{"startTime":2163.97,"endTime":2166.86,"body":"to dwell with him. So, yeah,"},{"startTime":2168.08,"endTime":2171.8,"body":"so we'll finish with this, AJ this idea of me"},{"startTime":2171.84,"endTime":2175.672,"body":"giving up the need to be a good Christian or a"},{"startTime":2175.696,"endTime":2179.528,"body":"better Christian, I'll"},{"startTime":2179.544,"endTime":2182.856,"body":"just say this, and then people can be offended or disagree with it, and that's"},{"startTime":2182.888,"endTime":2186.408,"body":"fine. But I think that this"},{"startTime":2186.464,"endTime":2189.576,"body":"idea that I, we need to be better"},{"startTime":2189.648,"endTime":2192.722,"body":"Christians, that that's a demonic"},{"startTime":2192.786,"endTime":2196.258,"body":"idea, because that's gonna lead to"},{"startTime":2196.314,"endTime":2200.162,"body":"striving. And any aspect of actually"},{"startTime":2200.266,"endTime":2203.778,"body":"growing, releasing, relinquishing,"},{"startTime":2203.874,"endTime":2207.442,"body":"or becoming something more than who I am"},{"startTime":2207.546,"endTime":2211.298,"body":"in this moment, it's all actually an act"},{"startTime":2211.354,"endTime":2215.074,"body":"of surrender. Surrendering to love in particular,"},{"startTime":2215.242,"endTime":2218.942,"body":"as opposed to doing more. And even if"},{"startTime":2218.966,"endTime":2222.782,"body":"it's, you know, I do eat too much, and"},{"startTime":2222.966,"endTime":2226.766,"body":"I'm doing a Lenten act"},{"startTime":2226.838,"endTime":2230.542,"body":"of praying the Lord's Prayer, you know, three times a day. And"},{"startTime":2230.566,"endTime":2234.222,"body":"I'm doing that as this discipline. And I'm fasting"},{"startTime":2234.286,"endTime":2238.062,"body":"from constantly texting all kinds of"},{"startTime":2238.086,"endTime":2241.822,"body":"people. There's that sense of. That's the I"},{"startTime":2241.846,"endTime":2245.666,"body":"need to do more. And some of us think we need to stop doing"},{"startTime":2245.738,"endTime":2248.99,"body":"certain things in order to be acceptable. But both of those"},{"startTime":2249.37,"endTime":2253.17,"body":"point to the same idea that if I was different"},{"startTime":2253.29,"endTime":2256.834,"body":"than. If I. If I was different than I actually am"},{"startTime":2256.922,"endTime":2260.562,"body":"right now, then God would love me more, God would bless"},{"startTime":2260.626,"endTime":2263.89,"body":"me more, God would like me more. God wouldn't be"},{"startTime":2263.93,"endTime":2267.634,"body":"disappointed or disgusted or frustrated with me."},{"startTime":2267.802,"endTime":2271.534,"body":"And that's the lie that's demonic. Because"},{"startTime":2271.622,"endTime":2275.05,"body":"all Christian growth starts with"},{"startTime":2275.43,"endTime":2278.958,"body":"the eternal truth that we are loved and be"},{"startTime":2279.014,"endTime":2282.766,"body":"loved for who we are at this given moment,"},{"startTime":2282.958,"endTime":2286.382,"body":"not for who we should be, not for who we would"},{"startTime":2286.406,"endTime":2290.254,"body":"be, not for who we will be. That we are loved just"},{"startTime":2290.342,"endTime":2294.09,"body":"as we are. And that truth will never,"},{"startTime":2294.63,"endTime":2298.4,"body":"in the deepest part of our heart, release us or allow us"},{"startTime":2298.44,"endTime":2302.16,"body":"to justify living however we want to live. It"},{"startTime":2302.2,"endTime":2305.552,"body":"will actually draw us into a place of greater"},{"startTime":2305.616,"endTime":2309.42,"body":"trust and greater sense of being seen,"},{"startTime":2309.72,"endTime":2313.2,"body":"a greater sense of being soothed, safe, and"},{"startTime":2313.24,"endTime":2316.42,"body":"ultimately secure. It's going to lead to attachment"},{"startTime":2316.84,"endTime":2320.624,"body":"performance. Whether it's I need to do more or I need to do"},{"startTime":2320.712,"endTime":2324.134,"body":"less will lead to anxiety and shame."},{"startTime":2324.312,"endTime":2328.042,"body":"That's the only way that that can go. So"},{"startTime":2328.066,"endTime":2331.578,"body":"trusting that the me that exists in this"},{"startTime":2331.634,"endTime":2335.386,"body":"moment is deeply beloved and dear listener over this Restoring the Soul"},{"startTime":2335.418,"endTime":2339.258,"body":"podcast. The you that exists in this moment, at this"},{"startTime":2339.314,"endTime":2343.082,"body":"particular time, that's the you that is deeply loved. Not"},{"startTime":2343.106,"endTime":2346.842,"body":"the you that will be in 10 years or in 10 days or on your"},{"startTime":2346.866,"endTime":2350.616,"body":"best day, but today. And that is the word"},{"startTime":2350.648,"endTime":2353.58,"body":"of the Lord. Praise be to God."},{"startTime":2354.32,"endTime":2358.168,"body":"So let's end with this. And this is the actual ending. I mentioned this"},{"startTime":2358.224,"endTime":2361.272,"body":"before, and this may feel like this is out of place, but this Whole thing"},{"startTime":2361.296,"endTime":2364.888,"body":"about not ever being"},{"startTime":2364.944,"endTime":2368.552,"body":"created to know about everything happening in the world for people that are"},{"startTime":2368.576,"endTime":2372.36,"body":"struggling with that. Let me tell you what I do. I pray"},{"startTime":2372.52,"endTime":2376.248,"body":"every morning, a liturgy. And this liturgy is basically"},{"startTime":2376.344,"endTime":2380.062,"body":"two pages long on 8 and a half by 11 paper, and it's typed out,"},{"startTime":2380.166,"endTime":2383.934,"body":"and it's basically a series of psalms and"},{"startTime":2384.022,"endTime":2387.342,"body":"prayers. Some are prayers from the church, like"},{"startTime":2387.366,"endTime":2391.01,"body":"the prayer of St. Francis about make me an instrument."},{"startTime":2391.43,"endTime":2395.21,"body":"But I have written a section about praying for the world,"},{"startTime":2395.51,"endTime":2398.75,"body":"and we do this in my church every week. And so I've taken a number"},{"startTime":2398.79,"endTime":2402.382,"body":"of those colecs, C O L L E C T S, which is"},{"startTime":2402.406,"endTime":2406.152,"body":"a. A liturgical word for a written prayer for a"},{"startTime":2406.176,"endTime":2410.024,"body":"specific occasion. And I've taken them and kind of pieced"},{"startTime":2410.072,"endTime":2413.688,"body":"them together. But let this be our prayer as we"},{"startTime":2413.744,"endTime":2417.416,"body":"fade out on the podcast today, saying that we do"},{"startTime":2417.488,"endTime":2421.256,"body":"pray for the world. And when we even pray the Lord's Prayer,"},{"startTime":2421.368,"endTime":2424.84,"body":"that we're praying for the world. We're praying that evil will not be"},{"startTime":2424.88,"endTime":2428.712,"body":"victorious. We're praying that temptation will not be"},{"startTime":2428.736,"endTime":2432.5,"body":"the thing that guides us. We're praying that in a world that seems to be"},{"startTime":2432.54,"endTime":2436.292,"body":"that of scarcity, that in God's economy and kingdom of abundance, give"},{"startTime":2436.316,"endTime":2439.796,"body":"us our daily bread. We're saying, in this"},{"startTime":2439.868,"endTime":2443.46,"body":"world today, thy will be done Where? On"},{"startTime":2443.5,"endTime":2447.108,"body":"earth as it is in heaven. So that prayer from Jesus"},{"startTime":2447.284,"endTime":2450.82,"body":"is what allows us to engage with concern"},{"startTime":2450.94,"endTime":2454.676,"body":"and compassion and love for the world. Okay, so"},{"startTime":2454.748,"endTime":2458.41,"body":"let's read this, and then you and I will talk again soon"},{"startTime":2458.45,"endTime":2461.03,"body":"on another episode. Okay, sounds good."},{"startTime":2461.89,"endTime":2465.71,"body":"Prayer for the world. Merciful Father,"},{"startTime":2466.29,"endTime":2469.77,"body":"in every place of pain, suffering"},{"startTime":2469.85,"endTime":2473.69,"body":"and desperation, may your kingdom come and your will"},{"startTime":2473.73,"endTime":2477.418,"body":"be done on earth as it is in heaven, in every"},{"startTime":2477.474,"endTime":2481.114,"body":"pocket of darkness, deception, death,"},{"startTime":2481.282,"endTime":2485.08,"body":"evil and unmaking. Send forth your light and"},{"startTime":2485.12,"endTime":2488.1,"body":"your love and make all things new."},{"startTime":2488.88,"endTime":2492.616,"body":"Lord, grant your healing power, your grace and mercy"},{"startTime":2492.648,"endTime":2495.96,"body":"to all who are sick, injured, neglected or"},{"startTime":2496.0,"endTime":2499.208,"body":"disabled that they may be made whole in body and"},{"startTime":2499.264,"endTime":2502.84,"body":"spirit. Lord, pour out your mercy to the"},{"startTime":2502.88,"endTime":2506.632,"body":"poor, the homeless, the hungry, the"},{"startTime":2506.656,"endTime":2510.27,"body":"addicted, the oppressed, the unemployed, and"},{"startTime":2510.31,"endTime":2514.126,"body":"those who live without life's basic necessities. For those living"},{"startTime":2514.158,"endTime":2517.758,"body":"in terror and fear, for those suffering the ravages of war"},{"startTime":2517.814,"endTime":2521.214,"body":"and violence and persecution, especially the persecuted."},{"startTime":2521.262,"endTime":2524.942,"body":"Church, our brothers and sisters around the world. We pray for them."},{"startTime":2525.046,"endTime":2528.67,"body":"We pray for orphans and widows. So, Prince of"},{"startTime":2528.71,"endTime":2531.934,"body":"Peace, be near to them and bring hope, help and"},{"startTime":2532.022,"endTime":2535.79,"body":"mercy. Let them know that you see them and that"},{"startTime":2535.83,"endTime":2539.39,"body":"you are with them. Let them know that you have come for"},{"startTime":2539.43,"endTime":2543.166,"body":"them and bring forth protection, provision and healing in their"},{"startTime":2543.238,"endTime":2546.766,"body":"hearts, minds, and lives and justice"},{"startTime":2546.798,"endTime":2550.606,"body":"and mercy throughout the whole world. Amen."},{"startTime":2550.798,"endTime":2554.366,"body":"Amen. Michael. Thank you, A.J. thank"},{"startTime":2554.398,"endTime":2557.83,"body":"you. Back on another episode soon. Thanks for being here today."}]}