The Self Care Life with Sara Miller

My Experience with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

November 12, 2020 Sara Miller

I have an update for you regarding my experience with postpartum depression and anxiety.

Here's where you can find me:

Blog - https://sarastrives.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarastrives/

Intro and Outro Music:

Summer Vibes by Simon More https://soundcloud.com/user-73416670

Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0

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Welcome to the me myself and you podcast.

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My name is Sara and I'm your host and I'm really glad to have you here today.

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I want to talk about my experience with postpartum depression and anxiety.

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Now, I made an episode.

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I don't know a month or two ago.

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Now probably closer to two months.

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I'm not sure honestly the passage of time during this pandemic y'all is crazy, but I'd kind of talked about you know, I don't think I'm

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really experiencing it and all that and How I was having trouble with breastfeeding and definitely experiencing some of that.

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I can't remember the acronym for it.

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But some sadness around breastfeeding for whatever reason and when I recorded that episode that's where I was at and funny enough.

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It was literally like a day or two later and things started going downhill pretty quickly for me.

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It got bad and it was scary and overwhelming and so frustrating to be back at A spot where I felt like I needed help again.

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If you guys are familiar with my story at all that I was on antidepressants for a while to help with anxiety as well as like an as needed

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medication for anxiety for about a year and a half and I went off it shortly after my husband and I got married that was 2017 and I had

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been off of meds completely until now.

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So it was definitely really hard for me to be like Oh, okay.

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Well, maybe I'm not in such a good place anymore and maybe I do need help.

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That was honestly so tough.

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It was such a tough week.

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There was a lot of tears and I say tough week in that sounds super silly, but I it was really like I went from okay.

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I'm not in a great spot to just like I'm in a really bad spot and I need help now spot and I think my past experience definitely prepared

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me for going and knowing When it was time to get help, which I think is why I went to get help so quickly, which is good.

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So I guess to give just like a brief explanation.

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I really don't want to be triggering for anybody.

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So I want to be cautious with how I say this what I do share but I was experiencing definitely some not necessarily Suicidal Thoughts but

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things like I think if you're a working Moms fan Frankie the character and work in Mom's talks about how She just wants to escape just

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like freak accident kind of Escape for a little bit and that's where my mind was.

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So I very much related to her in that way.

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It was just like I just need a minute.

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I need a break and I need to not feel for a little bit.

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I was having a lot of anxiety around silly things.

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I was having a lot of just like I don't know brain fog is the right word, but I was definitely not in a as healthy of a spot with

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processing things.

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Is that I was frustrated with even with work stuff where it was like, okay, this particular thing is really frustrating and I'd gotten to

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a spot was like, okay, we're managing it.

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Okay, but now it's like oh, this is really crappy and I can't and I don't know how to respond or how to do this and blah blah blah, and it

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just this vicious cycle not a vicious cycle and it just started balling up and getting worse and I was just anxious and depressed and I

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wanted to sleep.

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A lot to just escape the feeling and I was just not me.

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I did pretty quickly make an appointment to go speak with my OB.

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Well actually saw that nurse practitioner just they usually try to save the like OB appointments for pregnant patients, which I think is

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interesting but I actually had such a positive experience with this nurse practitioner, which was a complete contrast to my Last

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experience being on medication and having being treated for depression anxiety stuff.

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She listen to me.

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She truly listen to me and talked through it with me and validated my feelings and it was great and you know, she listened to my concerns

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one of my big things was on the last medication.

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I was on I gained weight and had struggled to get it off and I ultimately was in the process of losing that weight when I got pregnant and

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we're back at square one, but that's okay.

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I had such a positive experience with her and started on medication and a lot of times you have to adjust as you go and kind of figure out

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what's going to work best for you.

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And so far I've been on this dose for like a month and a half is she think and it's been great.

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I feel good.

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So that's been that I don't know.

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I feel like that was a pretty simple explanation.

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I guess my whole point is that I did struggle with this partum depression and anxiety which isn't all that shocked.

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In considering my mental health history, but it was still tough.

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And I think there's a lot of guilt that comes with it.

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I know for me the medication I started I had to stop breastfeeding completely, which I had already kind of stopped because I was having

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such a hard time with it mentally, but I didn't have the option to do it anymore because I needed to start a medication that I couldn't

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take while breastfeeding.

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So there was definitely some guilt there, and there was some guilt with not just feeling happy or not.

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Just feeling I don't know I guess happy.

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Oh and there was a lot of fear a lot of fear of having this feelings and frustration with having those feelings and feeling like I was

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going backwards from where I had been I guess that was my experience.

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I don't know that I have anything particularly helpful to share beyond go get help as soon as you can.

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I think it's important to be really open about your feelings when you're dealing with postpartum the postpartum period in general

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regardless of if you think your experience experiencing postpartum depression, Anxiety be open with your feelings and especially with your

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spouse or your significant other and be aware.

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It's a tough period of time it's a big transition.

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There's a lot of hormonal stuff going on and I care about each and every one of you and I want you guys to be.

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Okay.

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So hopefully my experience at least reminds you a little bit of postpartum depression doesn't have to start right away and getting help is

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good and it's okay to have those feelings all of that good stuff.

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I don't know I feel Feel out of focus today, but I did want to share this experience with you.

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So that is all I guess if you liked this episode follows, subscribe share it with a friend all that good stuff.

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It really does help me for you guys to share my episodes and just subscribe and all that stuff to get more ears on these podcasts.

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I hope you enjoyed and I will talk to you again soon.