Self Care is Selfish, But Also Not

Let's dive into this controversial topic. Is self care selfish or not? 

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Transcript

Sara Miller: 0:08

With a thousand things on our to do list, a lot of us are doing life on constant autopilot forgetting to care for ourselves feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the way things are. I strive to help you, the everyday woman to stop and to embrace the power of effective self care, in order to reduce overwhelm and anxiety and find fulfilment in your everyday life. I'm Sara Miller, and I'm here to help you stop going through the motions and start being the happiest and healthiest version of you all by caring for yourself, like someone worth caring for. Join me for conversations about self care, wellness, mindfulness, and so much more that will help you find your own self care lifestyle. I'm Sara, and you're listening to The Self Care Lifestyle Podcast. Hello, hello, I believe this is the last episode for the month of February if I've got all of my dates, right. And February is just such a perfect month to talk about self care, especially within that self love lense. I know I recently released an episode, a bonus episode kind of a thing that was about loving yourself through self care. Well, I want to dive into this topic a little bit more and more of the angle of self care being selfish. And now before you come to get me self care is selfish. Yes. But who says selfish is the worst thing. The point of self care is to take care of yourself. Right? It is so that you can feel good and show up as your best self. So yeah, I mean, self care is selfish. That's literally the point of it is to take care of you. And let me tell you why that is not a bad thing. You are allowed to feel good, you are allowed to feel joy. You're allowed to want to take part in simple pleasures in happiness in feeling like the best version of yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. That is being a person that's being human. And truly, by doing those things for yourself, it ultimately makes you a happier person, a more engaged person, it makes you a better mom, a better partner, a better employee, a better friend. Whatever your role in life, self care is something that is a necessity to feel good. So yes, I will say it. I mean, you've heard me both say self care is selfish. And self care is not selfish. And I think it's interesting parallel or I guess paradox. If I'm remembering my, my vocab correctly. It's this interesting paradox because yes, self care is selfish. It is literally that is the point it is taking care of you so you can feel your best. But why do you want to feel your best? Whether it is for you so that you're just happy. And that's a totally valid reason. Or it's so that you can be a happier mom or wife. Both both are good options. But that's kind of where that difference comes in. Where as a mom, sometimes the easiest way to think about self care is that it isn't selfish, because it sets me up to be a better mom. So that's kind of my thought process there. So I honestly don't know is self care selfish, or is it not selfish? I don't think it's either I think it is a neutral. Maybe it's just a neutral thing. So I don't know, I'll probably flip flop and say both on occasion depending on the context, but ultimately, self care is about taking care of you. And there is nothing wrong with that. That is like saying that. Okay, I mean, I don't, I can't even think of a good example at the moment, because most things that you would do that you'd be like "oh duh" could fall into that self care bucket. Like, if you're bleeding and you need a bandage, or you need first aid, whatever, you're not going to just not do it. Or let's say your kid, I mean, you're not going to just let them not do that, you're going to make sure that their needs are met. And there's nothing wrong with making sure that your needs are met. And that can be when we're looking at something as simple as drinking water, eating a balanced meal, moving your body. Or it could be as complex as going to therapy, getting alone time, which I don't guess is all that complex, but it's not one of those like, basic needs, things. But it could be, it could be for you, it could be a need for you that if you don't have alone time, every week, you're gonna feel like a crazy person. If you don't have that therapy, you're not going to feel good, you're going to have really struggle or I don't know. So anyway, I just guys, you so deserve to love yourself. You deserve to practice self care, you deserve to take care of yourself and meet your needs, whatever they might be. The whole idea of self care is to take care of you to meet your needs, and to do things that make you the happiest and healthiest version of yourself. And I absolutely believe that there's a balance, there are times where the only self care I want and need is like a Netflix and wine night. Now doing that every night is probably not super healthy. But there's a balance in that like, treat yourself piece of self care. There's so many facets of self care, that lead you to feeling like the best person you could possibly be. That leads you to feeling your best that leads you to beat, feel your happiest and healthiest and leave you ready to tackle your goals. You know, take on that project you've wanted to take on, stop feeling anxious and overwhelmed and irritated constantly. Because you're filling your cup first. That's the point. self care is about filling your cup first. And in that sense, self care is selfish in the best way possible. So don't get stuck. When you think about taking care of you. When you think about practicing self care. Don't get stuck in Oh, I don't deserve that. You deserve every ounce of self care that you can pour into yourself. Especially if it is helping you show up and be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, better employee and even just a better you for you. You deserve to feel good and loved and cared for. And not just from others from you from yourself. You deserve to feel your own love and care. So I really hope this is helpful. It may be slightly ranty episode, I don't know. But I think it's just a really important message to consider as you're, you know, thinking about love this month, this month of February so I love you all. Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go be sure to grab my free Own Your Self Care Starter Kit by visiting theselfcare.life/own-your-self-care/. This kit is specially designed to help you identify what kind of self care will work best for you. That way you can start developing your own self care lifestyle. If you'd like to stay connected find me on Instagram at @sarastrives or on TikTok at@TheSelfCareLifestyle. Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you again, soon.