{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":0.57,"endTime":2.76,"body":"In this episode of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":0.57,"endTime":2.76,"body":"balancing the Christian life, we"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2.76,"endTime":6.51,"body":"talked to Matt basford, about"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2.76,"endTime":6.51,"body":"how God fixes our broken lives."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":8.43,"endTime":9.93,"body":"Welcome to balancing the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":8.43,"endTime":9.93,"body":"Christian life."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":9.959,"endTime":11.069,"body":"I'm Dr. Kenny Embry."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":11.34,"endTime":13.68,"body":"We'll talk about how to be"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":11.34,"endTime":13.68,"body":"better Christians and people in"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":13.68,"endTime":14.46,"body":"the digital age."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":14.58,"endTime":15.06,"body":"Let's go."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":16.32,"endTime":19.83,"body":"So how are you doing? Really? I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":16.32,"endTime":19.83,"body":"think our first impulse is to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":19.83,"endTime":23.28,"body":"say something like, I'm fine."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":19.83,"endTime":23.28,"body":"How are you? But are you? It"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":23.28,"endTime":25.68,"body":"doesn't take much digging before"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":23.28,"endTime":25.68,"body":"we find parts of our lives,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":25.68,"endTime":28.98,"body":"which are frankly broken. But I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":25.68,"endTime":28.98,"body":"think our first impulse isn't to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":28.98,"endTime":33.48,"body":"share that, but instead hide it."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":28.98,"endTime":33.48,"body":"I understand. I've talked to a"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":33.48,"endTime":36.33,"body":"lot of people about this idea."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":33.48,"endTime":36.33,"body":"And I've been surprised by how"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":36.33,"endTime":38.82,"body":"open and honest some have been"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":36.33,"endTime":38.82,"body":"about what didn't work in their"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":38.82,"endTime":42.72,"body":"lives. And how Jesus was the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":38.82,"endTime":42.72,"body":"only thing that could fix it. It"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":42.72,"endTime":45.6,"body":"seems to me the conversations"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":42.72,"endTime":45.6,"body":"were embarrassed or reluctant to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":45.6,"endTime":49.2,"body":"have are often the most"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":45.6,"endTime":49.2,"body":"important ones. We don't usually"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":49.2,"endTime":52.02,"body":"have important conversations on"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":49.2,"endTime":52.02,"body":"a Sunday morning, and our nice"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":52.02,"endTime":55.38,"body":"clothes while everyone is on"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":52.02,"endTime":55.38,"body":"their best behavior. My buddy,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":55.41,"endTime":58.62,"body":"Mark McCrary. And I often talk"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":55.41,"endTime":58.62,"body":"about how some people see the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":58.62,"endTime":61.47,"body":"church as a museum of saints,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":58.62,"endTime":61.47,"body":"instead of what I think should"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":61.47,"endTime":65.64,"body":"be more accurate, a hospital for"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":61.47,"endTime":65.64,"body":"centers. This week, I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":65.64,"endTime":69.51,"body":"to minister Matt bastard, about"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":65.64,"endTime":69.51,"body":"one of those broken times. He"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":69.51,"endTime":74.1,"body":"and his wife experience a little"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":69.51,"endTime":74.1,"body":"over a decade ago. Hey, how you"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":74.1,"endTime":74.55,"body":"doing, man?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":75.15,"endTime":76.17,"body":"I'm doing well,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":75.15,"endTime":76.17,"body":"brother,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":76.42,"endTime":78.43,"body":"One of the ideas"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":76.42,"endTime":78.43,"body":"that have been knocking around"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":78.43,"endTime":81.58,"body":"is the idea that we are all what"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":78.43,"endTime":81.58,"body":"I called wonderfully broken."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":81.85,"endTime":85.03,"body":"When we go to church, everyone"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":81.85,"endTime":85.03,"body":"looks like they're perfect. But"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":85.03,"endTime":88.45,"body":"nobody really is. Can you think"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":85.03,"endTime":88.45,"body":"of a time where things didn't"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":88.45,"endTime":91.6,"body":"go? Well, and Jesus ended up"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":88.45,"endTime":91.6,"body":"being the only answer for you."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":92.29,"endTime":96.49,"body":"I certainly can."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":92.29,"endTime":96.49,"body":"I mean, at this point, after 42"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":96.49,"endTime":99.46,"body":"years of living, there are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":96.49,"endTime":99.46,"body":"probably several things that I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":99.46,"endTime":102.67,"body":"could turn to here. But one that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":99.46,"endTime":102.67,"body":"stands out in particular"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":102.67,"endTime":107.71,"body":"happened in September of 2008,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":102.67,"endTime":107.71,"body":"my wife was pregnant with our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":107.71,"endTime":113.14,"body":"first there were no signs of any"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":107.71,"endTime":113.14,"body":"trouble or anything like that."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":113.53,"endTime":119.47,"body":"But when the time came for the C"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":113.53,"endTime":119.47,"body":"section, my firstborn daughter"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":119.5,"endTime":123.37,"body":"was stillborn. And we did not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":119.5,"endTime":123.37,"body":"learn that that was going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":123.37,"endTime":127.84,"body":"happen until it did happen. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":123.37,"endTime":127.84,"body":"so that was a shattering"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":127.96,"endTime":129.31,"body":"experience for both of us."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":129.6,"endTime":131.22,"body":"That sounds like"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":129.6,"endTime":131.22,"body":"something that would be very"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":131.22,"endTime":131.97,"body":"devastating."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":132.18,"endTime":134.64,"body":"I think smashed"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":132.18,"endTime":134.64,"body":"flat is a pretty fair"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":134.64,"endTime":135.27,"body":"description."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":136.29,"endTime":138.24,"body":"This sounds like a"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":136.29,"endTime":138.24,"body":"really trite question. But how"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":138.24,"endTime":139.11,"body":"did that make you feel?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":139.74,"endTime":142.32,"body":"I would say it"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":139.74,"endTime":142.32,"body":"made us feel like our whole"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":142.32,"endTime":147.6,"body":"world had been turned upside"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":142.32,"endTime":147.6,"body":"down that here we were just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":147.63,"endTime":151.05,"body":"floundering around in chaos, as"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":147.63,"endTime":151.05,"body":"we were trying to grapple with"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":151.05,"endTime":153.3,"body":"this unimaginable loss."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":155.28,"endTime":157.74,"body":"What kind of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":155.28,"endTime":157.74,"body":"questions that bring up for you?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":159.15,"endTime":164.58,"body":"I would say that,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":159.15,"endTime":164.58,"body":"that made me get really"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":164.58,"endTime":169.65,"body":"comfortable with my answers to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":164.58,"endTime":169.65,"body":"the problem of human suffering."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":169.95,"endTime":172.74,"body":"It's one of those things that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":169.95,"endTime":172.74,"body":"atheists have been throwing"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":172.74,"endTime":179.94,"body":"around for centuries now. That"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":172.74,"endTime":179.94,"body":"if God could allow horrible"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":179.94,"endTime":183.21,"body":"things to happen, or could"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":179.94,"endTime":183.21,"body":"prevent horrible things for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":183.21,"endTime":187.95,"body":"happening, it doesn't that he's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":183.21,"endTime":187.95,"body":"not good. If he would stop them,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":187.98,"endTime":191.25,"body":"but can't that he's not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":187.98,"endTime":191.25,"body":"omnipotent. So how does the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":191.25,"endTime":194.34,"body":"existence of evil and human"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":191.25,"endTime":194.34,"body":"suffering square with the notion"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":194.34,"endTime":198.78,"body":"of a perfectly good, perfectly"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":194.34,"endTime":198.78,"body":"powerful God? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":200.25,"endTime":202.32,"body":"What conclusion Did"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":200.25,"endTime":202.32,"body":"you come to?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":203.19,"endTime":204.87,"body":"You know, when"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":203.19,"endTime":204.87,"body":"you're talking about this in the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":204.87,"endTime":209.49,"body":"abstract in undergraduate"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":204.87,"endTime":209.49,"body":"philosophy class, this sounds"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":209.49,"endTime":214.05,"body":"like a really compelling"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":209.49,"endTime":214.05,"body":"argument. But in the moment,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":214.11,"endTime":219.96,"body":"it's not at all. Because the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":214.11,"endTime":219.96,"body":"atheist might jump up and down"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":219.96,"endTime":225.45,"body":"and point and say, Oh, look,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":219.96,"endTime":225.45,"body":"this just shows that your faith"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":225.45,"endTime":229.38,"body":"is foolish, you haven't fought"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":225.45,"endTime":229.38,"body":"this thought this through. This"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":229.38,"endTime":236.01,"body":"contradicts everything that you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":229.38,"endTime":236.01,"body":"believe in. But really, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":236.16,"endTime":240.84,"body":"an encounter with tragedy is a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":236.16,"endTime":240.84,"body":"much bigger problem for the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":240.84,"endTime":245.07,"body":"atheist than for the Christian."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":240.84,"endTime":245.07,"body":"Because if you're an atheist,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":245.97,"endTime":250.5,"body":"and you believe that there is no"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":245.97,"endTime":250.5,"body":"God, there is no afterlife"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":250.53,"endTime":254.04,"body":"there. There really is no"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":250.53,"endTime":254.04,"body":"meaning to life, that it's just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":254.04,"endTime":257.04,"body":"this little momentary flash of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":254.04,"endTime":257.04,"body":"existence, and that it's all"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":257.04,"endTime":263.4,"body":"over. If that's where you are,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":257.04,"endTime":263.4,"body":"then how can you possibly deal"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":263.43,"endTime":267.54,"body":"with the death of a child? How"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":263.43,"endTime":267.54,"body":"can you possibly ever come back"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":267.54,"endTime":270.96,"body":"from that? Because there is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":267.54,"endTime":270.96,"body":"nothing in your worldview that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":270.96,"endTime":275.55,"body":"gives you any tools for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":270.96,"endTime":275.55,"body":"grappling with the monstrosity"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":275.55,"endTime":280.98,"body":"of what has just taken place."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":275.55,"endTime":280.98,"body":"But on the other hand, and this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":280.98,"endTime":286.02,"body":"is something that I started"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":280.98,"endTime":286.02,"body":"realizing Then, and only have"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":286.02,"endTime":291.3,"body":"come to realize more and more as"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":286.02,"endTime":291.3,"body":"time has passed. Christianity"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":291.33,"endTime":296.88,"body":"offers the best answers to the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":291.33,"endTime":296.88,"body":"problem of human suffering. It"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":296.88,"endTime":301.44,"body":"is not as though the Apostle"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":296.88,"endTime":301.44,"body":"Paul believe That he existed in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":301.44,"endTime":304.56,"body":"a world where God would shield"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":301.44,"endTime":304.56,"body":"him from harm and on happiness."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":305.22,"endTime":309.66,"body":"We have a faith that in many"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":305.22,"endTime":309.66,"body":"ways is premised on suffering."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":309.96,"endTime":316.29,"body":"Those same processes. Christians"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":309.96,"endTime":316.29,"body":"2000 years ago went through to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":316.29,"endTime":319.35,"body":"grapple with the problem of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":316.29,"endTime":319.35,"body":"vicious persecution, in addition"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":319.35,"endTime":323.28,"body":"to all the other problems that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":319.35,"endTime":323.28,"body":"we grapple with today. those"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":323.28,"endTime":327.21,"body":"answers are still"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":323.28,"endTime":327.21,"body":"extraordinarily valuable. One of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":327.21,"endTime":334.05,"body":"the most important of those, I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":327.21,"endTime":334.05,"body":"think, is not asking how God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":334.05,"endTime":341.46,"body":"could allow me to have a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":334.05,"endTime":341.46,"body":"daughter who died. It is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":341.7,"endTime":348.15,"body":"acknowledging that even though I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":341.7,"endTime":348.15,"body":"sat there and did nothing while"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":348.15,"endTime":354.78,"body":"that was happening, the father"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":348.15,"endTime":354.78,"body":"is also someone who watched his"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":354.81,"endTime":365.4,"body":"son die. Even if I don't know"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":354.81,"endTime":365.4,"body":"all the reasons. I know that God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":365.4,"endTime":369.36,"body":"understands exactly what I have"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":365.4,"endTime":369.36,"body":"gone through the other"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":369.36,"endTime":375.18,"body":"dimension, there is that great"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":369.36,"endTime":375.18,"body":"promise of the resurrection from"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":375.18,"endTime":380.67,"body":"the dead? That when you are a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":375.18,"endTime":380.67,"body":"Christian and you're mourning a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":380.67,"endTime":385.92,"body":"loved one, you mourn, you hurt,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":380.67,"endTime":385.92,"body":"you suffer, you grieve? 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At the time,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":396.36,"endTime":397.95,"body":"I've got to believe that you"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":396.36,"endTime":397.95,"body":"were distraught."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":398.46,"endTime":404.28,"body":"Oh, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":398.46,"endTime":404.28,"body":"What you are hearing now is the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":404.4,"endTime":411.09,"body":"evolution of 13 years of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":404.4,"endTime":411.09,"body":"thinking about this and dwelling"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":411.09,"endTime":416.61,"body":"on this and asking, what does"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":411.09,"endTime":416.61,"body":"this mean, you never stop"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":416.61,"endTime":420.72,"body":"grieving. The first year is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":416.61,"endTime":420.72,"body":"horrible. The second year is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":420.72,"endTime":425.49,"body":"slightly less horrible, and so"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":420.72,"endTime":425.49,"body":"on. But it is always going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":425.49,"endTime":433.53,"body":"remain there. 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And yet the beauty"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":456.18,"endTime":461.25,"body":"of the presence of God in your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":461.25,"endTime":467.85,"body":"life, the knowledge of the hope"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":461.25,"endTime":467.85,"body":"that we have through Jesus is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":467.88,"endTime":470.1,"body":"something that lets you go on"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":467.88,"endTime":470.1,"body":"and keep living."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":472.92,"endTime":474.51,"body":"Do you remember if"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":472.92,"endTime":474.51,"body":"you were angry,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":475.02,"endTime":477.63,"body":"you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":475.02,"endTime":477.63,"body":"interesting that people always"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":477.69,"endTime":483.36,"body":"expect that that would happen. 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One of my big"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":492.75,"endTime":496.71,"body":"things these days is I am going"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":492.75,"endTime":496.71,"body":"through and I am trying to turn"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":496.71,"endTime":500.13,"body":"all of the Psalms into hymns."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":496.71,"endTime":500.13,"body":"And so I've gotten very"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":500.13,"endTime":505.17,"body":"comfortable with the the darker"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":500.13,"endTime":505.17,"body":"psalms that we tend to read"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":505.17,"endTime":508.68,"body":"through. And there is plenty of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":505.17,"endTime":508.68,"body":"scriptural precedent for being"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":508.68,"endTime":515.73,"body":"angry with God. But that's not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":508.68,"endTime":515.73,"body":"where I was. I don't think"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":515.73,"endTime":520.86,"body":"that's where my wife was either."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":515.73,"endTime":520.86,"body":"I there was tremendous suffering"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":520.86,"endTime":525.84,"body":"for both of us. It is also"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":520.86,"endTime":525.84,"body":"certainly true that the next"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":525.84,"endTime":528.69,"body":"year in our marriage was the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":525.84,"endTime":528.69,"body":"most difficult year that we've"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":528.69,"endTime":532.32,"body":"ever experienced. It may well"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":528.69,"endTime":532.32,"body":"have been that if we had not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":532.35,"endTime":535.05,"body":"been Christians that we would"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":532.35,"endTime":535.05,"body":"have gotten divorced through"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":535.05,"endTime":540.81,"body":"that. I don't feel like either"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":535.05,"endTime":540.81,"body":"one of us accused god of being"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":540.81,"endTime":544.95,"body":"responsible for this or blamed"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":540.81,"endTime":544.95,"body":"God for it happening. That the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":544.95,"endTime":547.56,"body":"devil absolutely, but not God."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":548.009,"endTime":550.889,"body":"You say the next"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":548.009,"endTime":550.889,"body":"year was really hard. Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":550.889,"endTime":552.689,"body":"that your marriage suffered?"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":553.38,"endTime":553.89,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":554.069,"endTime":555.569,"body":"Can you go into any of that?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":555.63,"endTime":559.2,"body":"The problem is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":555.63,"endTime":559.2,"body":"grieving requires energy. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":559.2,"endTime":567.81,"body":"work, it's mental effort. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":559.2,"endTime":567.81,"body":"when you are grieving, a loss"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":567.81,"endTime":573.6,"body":"that is that bitter. It requires"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":567.81,"endTime":573.6,"body":"an extraordinary amount of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":573.6,"endTime":579.78,"body":"emotional energy. We're used to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":573.6,"endTime":579.78,"body":"having emotional energy in our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":579.78,"endTime":587.4,"body":"lives to build up and reaffirm"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":579.78,"endTime":587.4,"body":"relationships for the next year."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":588.18,"endTime":593.07,"body":"That was just not something that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":588.18,"endTime":593.07,"body":"Lauren and I had, when you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":593.07,"endTime":600.87,"body":"have to people who are willing"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":593.07,"endTime":600.87,"body":"or able to invest themselves. In"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":600.87,"endTime":604.41,"body":"each other in that way, then"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":600.87,"endTime":604.41,"body":"your marriage is going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":604.41,"endTime":608.46,"body":"suffer, it's going to suffer"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":604.41,"endTime":608.46,"body":"significantly. And sad to say, I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":608.46,"endTime":614.19,"body":"think this is a universal"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":608.46,"endTime":614.19,"body":"experience that all of the other"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":614.19,"endTime":616.83,"body":"people who have experienced the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":614.19,"endTime":616.83,"body":"loss of children that I've"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":616.83,"endTime":620.64,"body":"talked to about this, they'll"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":616.83,"endTime":620.64,"body":"say the same thing. I'll say,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.35,"body":"yeah, the next year was just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.35,"body":"really awful. In fact, I had a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":625.56,"endTime":629.67,"body":"good friend who has since passed"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":625.56,"endTime":629.67,"body":"on whose wife divorced him in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":629.7,"endTime":635.64,"body":"the aftermath of their stillborn"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":629.7,"endTime":635.64,"body":"child. If there is anybody who"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":635.64,"endTime":641.7,"body":"is listening to this, who is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":635.64,"endTime":641.7,"body":"going through a similar"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":641.7,"endTime":646.77,"body":"experience, be very concerned"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":641.7,"endTime":646.77,"body":"about what this is going to do"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":646.77,"endTime":648.96,"body":"to your marriage, be prepared"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":646.77,"endTime":648.96,"body":"for that to be a battle,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":649.109,"endTime":650.849,"body":"what do you wish"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":649.109,"endTime":650.849,"body":"you could have told yourself"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":650.849,"endTime":651.569,"body":"back then,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":652.439,"endTime":656.639,"body":"I would say,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":652.439,"endTime":656.639,"body":"recognize that life is going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":656.639,"endTime":663.419,"body":"go on, recognize that things are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":656.639,"endTime":663.419,"body":"going to get better, eventually."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":664.259,"endTime":670.139,"body":"And, you know, even as bad as"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":664.259,"endTime":670.139,"body":"things were for my wife and me,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":670.139,"endTime":676.049,"body":"maritally we got through it, we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":670.139,"endTime":676.049,"body":"healed, we have a wonderful"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":676.049,"endTime":680.249,"body":"marriage now. And I would say"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":676.049,"endTime":680.249,"body":"that right now, in fact, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":680.249,"endTime":684.539,"body":"the best that it's ever been,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":680.249,"endTime":684.539,"body":"even if it is so tempting to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":684.869,"endTime":687.689,"body":"give up on something in your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":684.869,"endTime":687.689,"body":"life, because you feel like you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":687.689,"endTime":692.729,"body":"don't have the energy for it."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":687.689,"endTime":692.729,"body":"Don't give up fight to hold on"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":692.729,"endTime":695.819,"body":"to those things, five years down"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":692.729,"endTime":695.819,"body":"the road, 10 years down the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":695.819,"endTime":697.619,"body":"road, you will be glad that you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":695.819,"endTime":697.619,"body":"did fight."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":698.82,"endTime":702.87,"body":"You live the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":698.82,"endTime":702.87,"body":"nightmare that every parent has."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":703.38,"endTime":705.93,"body":"What have you learned from this?"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":703.38,"endTime":705.93,"body":"What's changed?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":706.71,"endTime":710.04,"body":"I think it is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":706.71,"endTime":710.04,"body":"impossible to go through"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":710.04,"endTime":715.47,"body":"something like that, without"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":710.04,"endTime":715.47,"body":"having your whole worldview"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":715.47,"endTime":721.65,"body":"changed dramatically. I have"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":715.47,"endTime":721.65,"body":"read that people are innately"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":721.65,"endTime":728.07,"body":"optimistic, that if you ask them"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":721.65,"endTime":728.07,"body":"to put a put a percentage"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":728.07,"endTime":731.67,"body":"chance, for instance, on the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":728.07,"endTime":731.67,"body":"possibility that your house will"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":731.67,"endTime":735.9,"body":"be leveled by a tornado, people"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":731.67,"endTime":735.9,"body":"will generally be an order of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":735.9,"endTime":739.74,"body":"magnitude, much more optimistic"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":735.9,"endTime":739.74,"body":"about that than they should be"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":739.83,"endTime":743.79,"body":"when something like this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":739.83,"endTime":743.79,"body":"happens. I think it strips away"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":743.79,"endTime":750.78,"body":"a lot of the optimism that I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":743.79,"endTime":750.78,"body":"know that I live in a world"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":751.35,"endTime":757.56,"body":"where just awful, calamitous"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":751.35,"endTime":757.56,"body":"things can happen. There is this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":757.56,"endTime":763.2,"body":"comforting illusion that we can"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":757.56,"endTime":763.2,"body":"slip into that life is just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":763.2,"endTime":766.44,"body":"going to continue along this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":763.2,"endTime":766.44,"body":"very pleasant, easy path"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":766.44,"endTime":772.14,"body":"forever. But of course, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":766.44,"endTime":772.14,"body":"not true for any of us. Now, I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":772.14,"endTime":775.71,"body":"find it much easier to see"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":772.14,"endTime":775.71,"body":"through the illusion than I did."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":776.4,"endTime":778.98,"body":"What is your"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":776.4,"endTime":778.98,"body":"relationship with God look like?"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":778.98,"endTime":779.37,"body":"Now,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":779.639,"endTime":783.809,"body":"I think that one"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":779.639,"endTime":783.809,"body":"of the things that happened is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":783.839,"endTime":790.709,"body":"that it forced me to confront my"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":783.839,"endTime":790.709,"body":"own helplessness. By nature. I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":790.709,"endTime":797.309,"body":"am a planner. I am the kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":790.709,"endTime":797.309,"body":"guy who reads articles about"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":797.309,"endTime":802.559,"body":"saving for retirement for fun."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":797.309,"endTime":802.559,"body":"And I want to look years and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":802.559,"endTime":807.779,"body":"decades down the road and try to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":802.559,"endTime":807.779,"body":"deal wisely, with the problems"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":807.779,"endTime":818.159,"body":"that I see might arise."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":807.779,"endTime":818.159,"body":"Ultimately, though, if you start"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":818.219,"endTime":823.229,"body":"trusting in yourself too much,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":818.219,"endTime":823.229,"body":"then you find yourself ending up"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":823.229,"endTime":831.599,"body":"squarely in the parable of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":823.229,"endTime":831.599,"body":"rich fool. The reality is that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":831.629,"endTime":836.849,"body":"in terms of anything on Earth,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":831.629,"endTime":836.849,"body":"that we value, our jobs, our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":836.849,"endTime":842.699,"body":"families, our prosperity, our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":836.849,"endTime":842.699,"body":"health, there is nothing we can"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":842.699,"endTime":848.639,"body":"do to safeguard those things."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":842.699,"endTime":848.639,"body":"And what's more, God is not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":848.639,"endTime":851.159,"body":"promised that he is going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":848.639,"endTime":851.159,"body":"safeguard those things either."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":851.639,"endTime":856.019,"body":"And so even while you you plan"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":851.639,"endTime":856.019,"body":"and you prepare, at some level,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":856.019,"endTime":859.919,"body":"you have to acknowledge that all"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":856.019,"endTime":859.919,"body":"of that planning and preparation"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":859.919,"endTime":864.779,"body":"may well prove to be in vain. So"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":859.919,"endTime":864.779,"body":"rather than trusting in yourself"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":864.779,"endTime":868.259,"body":"and your wisdom and your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":864.779,"endTime":868.259,"body":"ability, you just have to trust"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":868.259,"endTime":873.149,"body":"God and believe that he will"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":868.259,"endTime":873.149,"body":"keep the promises that he has"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":873.149,"endTime":879.479,"body":"made. That even though that the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":873.149,"endTime":879.479,"body":"Bible is very upfront that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":880.199,"endTime":883.049,"body":"through many tribulations we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":880.199,"endTime":883.049,"body":"must enter the kingdom of God."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":883.109,"endTime":889.139,"body":"If we are steadfast if we remain"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":883.109,"endTime":889.139,"body":"true to him, then we will enter"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":889.139,"endTime":894.779,"body":"it. And once we do that even the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":889.139,"endTime":894.779,"body":"greatest sufferings that this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":894.779,"endTime":897.329,"body":"life has to offer will pale into"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":894.779,"endTime":897.329,"body":"insignificance."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":897.509,"endTime":900.659,"body":"How did your wife"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":897.509,"endTime":900.659,"body":"react? What was the difference"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":900.659,"endTime":900.959,"body":"there,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":901.019,"endTime":904.679,"body":"I think it was"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":901.019,"endTime":904.679,"body":"even harder on her than it was"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":904.679,"endTime":911.129,"body":"on me. Even though I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":904.679,"endTime":911.129,"body":"grief is more acceptable for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":911.219,"endTime":914.159,"body":"women than for men in our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":911.219,"endTime":914.159,"body":"society, I think the grief is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":914.159,"endTime":918.209,"body":"greater. And once again, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":914.159,"endTime":918.209,"body":"going to say this because I know"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":918.209,"endTime":924.029,"body":"she doesn't have a problem with"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":918.209,"endTime":924.029,"body":"me saying it. But in the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":924.059,"endTime":927.569,"body":"immediate aftermath of that, she"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":924.059,"endTime":927.569,"body":"struggled with the temptation to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":927.569,"endTime":935.939,"body":"commit suicide. And that too, is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":927.569,"endTime":935.939,"body":"something to watch out for and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":935.939,"endTime":944.009,"body":"be wary of. I mean, thankfully,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":935.939,"endTime":944.009,"body":"she did not. And came through it"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":947.609,"endTime":951.659,"body":"experienced a lot of the same"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":947.609,"endTime":951.659,"body":"changes that I did, I think,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":951.659,"endTime":958.769,"body":"would endorse a lot of what I've"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":951.659,"endTime":958.769,"body":"said, philosophically. But that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":958.769,"endTime":965.639,"body":"also led her to contemplate a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":958.769,"endTime":965.639,"body":"career change that she would not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":965.639,"endTime":970.889,"body":"have considered before. One of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":965.639,"endTime":970.889,"body":"the things that I remember is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":970.919,"endTime":975.719,"body":"the hospital put us in touch"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":970.919,"endTime":975.719,"body":"with this grief support person."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":976.589,"endTime":981.839,"body":"And it was just absolutely"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":976.589,"endTime":981.839,"body":"awful. It was one of the most"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":981.899,"endTime":986.219,"body":"depressing experiences of our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":981.899,"endTime":986.219,"body":"lives. Because even though this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":986.219,"endTime":991.229,"body":"woman was some denominational"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":986.219,"endTime":991.229,"body":"pastor's wife, it was very"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":991.229,"endTime":996.359,"body":"obvious from listening to her,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":991.229,"endTime":996.359,"body":"she did not believe in the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":996.359,"endTime":1001.129,"body":"resurrection, she did not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":996.359,"endTime":1001.129,"body":"believe in life after death. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1001.129,"endTime":1003.799,"body":"so she kept on talking about how"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1001.129,"endTime":1003.799,"body":"our daughter was going to live"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1003.799,"endTime":1007.369,"body":"on in our hearts and all this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1003.799,"endTime":1007.369,"body":"other garbage. We came away from"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1007.369,"endTime":1014.869,"body":"that disgusted. And it left my"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1007.369,"endTime":1014.869,"body":"wife feeling so discontented"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1014.869,"endTime":1018.349,"body":"with that, that she ended up"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1014.869,"endTime":1018.349,"body":"going to graduate school and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1018.349,"endTime":1023.839,"body":"getting a master's degree in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1018.349,"endTime":1023.839,"body":"social work. Wow. So that in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1023.839,"endTime":1028.729,"body":"situations like that, that she"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1023.839,"endTime":1028.729,"body":"can provide true hope and true"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1028.729,"endTime":1032.989,"body":"comfort. And right now, she is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1028.729,"endTime":1032.989,"body":"not working because she is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1033.109,"endTime":1038.509,"body":"homeschooling our kids. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1033.109,"endTime":1038.509,"body":"suspect that she will reenter"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1038.509,"endTime":1042.619,"body":"the workforce at some point when"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1038.509,"endTime":1042.619,"body":"she does that is likely to do"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1042.919,"endTime":1045.919,"body":"hospice work, and would really"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1042.919,"endTime":1045.919,"body":"like to do pediatric hospice"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1045.919,"endTime":1051.229,"body":"work. I think in her you really"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1045.919,"endTime":1051.229,"body":"see Second Corinthians one and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1051.229,"endTime":1057.289,"body":"action, where you receive"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1051.229,"endTime":1057.289,"body":"comfort from God. And then you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1057.289,"endTime":1061.579,"body":"look to turn around and comfort"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1057.289,"endTime":1061.579,"body":"those who are in the same"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1061.579,"endTime":1062.119,"body":"affliction."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1062.6,"endTime":1064.82,"body":"Did you all reach"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1062.6,"endTime":1064.82,"body":"out for help to somebody,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1065.3,"endTime":1069.29,"body":"I think one of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1065.3,"endTime":1069.29,"body":"the wise things that we did, was"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1069.29,"endTime":1075.74,"body":"to really bury ourselves, in our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1069.29,"endTime":1075.74,"body":"church family when that happens,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1075.74,"endTime":1079.16,"body":"because some people want to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1075.74,"endTime":1079.16,"body":"close off and isolate"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1079.16,"endTime":1083.75,"body":"themselves, because they're not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1079.16,"endTime":1083.75,"body":"comfortable with the display of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1083.75,"endTime":1090.02,"body":"grief. That's not the course"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1083.75,"endTime":1090.02,"body":"that we took, we were very open"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1090.59,"endTime":1093.71,"body":"about our suffering. Our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1090.59,"endTime":1093.71,"body":"brethren in the congregation,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1093.74,"endTime":1098.63,"body":"they were amazing. They were"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1093.74,"endTime":1098.63,"body":"there for us. So completely,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1098.9,"endTime":1103.22,"body":"like, just to give you one"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1098.9,"endTime":1103.22,"body":"example, somebody decided that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1103.22,"endTime":1108.53,"body":"we needed a meal train and the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1103.22,"endTime":1108.53,"body":"way that they brought food to us"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1108.53,"endTime":1112.43,"body":"there was so much we had to put"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1108.53,"endTime":1112.43,"body":"like 90% of it in the freezer,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1112.7,"endTime":1116.84,"body":"and we ate off of this stuff for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1112.7,"endTime":1116.84,"body":"like the next three months. In"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1116.84,"endTime":1119.36,"body":"retrospect, that may actually"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1116.84,"endTime":1119.36,"body":"have been really helpful."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1120.05,"endTime":1127.01,"body":"Because that was one less source"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1120.05,"endTime":1127.01,"body":"of stress in our lives, that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1127.01,"endTime":1131.99,"body":"there were brethren all over the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1127.01,"endTime":1131.99,"body":"country who reached out to us,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1132.02,"endTime":1138.14,"body":"we still have a box that is full"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1132.02,"endTime":1138.14,"body":"of cards that we received, there"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1138.14,"endTime":1142.73,"body":"were people who were not even"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1138.14,"endTime":1142.73,"body":"particularly close to us, who"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1143.24,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"decided, you know, I agree for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1143.24,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"them. I am going to take time"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1150.77,"body":"off of work and I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1150.77,"body":"drive 1000 miles to that funeral"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1150.77,"endTime":1156.98,"body":"so that I can comfort them. I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1150.77,"endTime":1156.98,"body":"cannot do justice, to all the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1156.98,"endTime":1162.2,"body":"things that Christians did for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1156.98,"endTime":1162.2,"body":"us. That just rambling on for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1162.2,"endTime":1168.98,"body":"the next half hour. Yeah, I am"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1162.2,"endTime":1168.98,"body":"so thankful for the love that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1168.98,"endTime":1173.15,"body":"they expressed. I will I will"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1168.98,"endTime":1173.15,"body":"remember it. As long as I live"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1173.15,"endTime":1177.98,"body":"and all of you you know who you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1173.15,"endTime":1177.98,"body":"are. I have not forgotten. Thank"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1177.98,"endTime":1178.73,"body":"you and I love you."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1180.2,"endTime":1182.75,"body":"It sounds like your"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1180.2,"endTime":1182.75,"body":"daughter has left quite a legacy"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1182.93,"endTime":1184.22,"body":"for such a sort of life."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1184.73,"endTime":1187.4,"body":"I think that's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1184.73,"endTime":1187.4,"body":"true. The whole experience had a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1187.4,"endTime":1191.99,"body":"tremendous impact on us."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1187.4,"endTime":1191.99,"body":"Whenever I hear people running"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1191.99,"endTime":1197.15,"body":"down Christians running down the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1191.99,"endTime":1197.15,"body":"church and talking about how"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1197.15,"endTime":1201.35,"body":"awful brethren are. I think we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1197.15,"endTime":1201.35,"body":"have to remember Not just the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1201.35,"endTime":1204.41,"body":"bad stories, which if they"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1201.35,"endTime":1204.41,"body":"happen to us are very easy to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1204.41,"endTime":1209.15,"body":"dwell on and become embittered"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1204.41,"endTime":1209.15,"body":"about. But we have to remember"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1209.15,"endTime":1214.58,"body":"to the extraordinary good that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1209.15,"endTime":1214.58,"body":"disciples of Jesus are capable"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1214.58,"endTime":1217.4,"body":"of the extraordinary heights to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1214.58,"endTime":1217.4,"body":"which they can arise."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1217.61,"endTime":1220.88,"body":"That makes a lot of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1217.61,"endTime":1220.88,"body":"sense to me. I'm calling this"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1220.91,"endTime":1225.44,"body":"this idea of wonderfully broken"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1220.91,"endTime":1225.44,"body":"the the idea that many times we"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1225.44,"endTime":1228.8,"body":"don't understand the stories of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1225.44,"endTime":1228.8,"body":"the people that are in a Pew"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1228.8,"endTime":1231.44,"body":"right next to us. Right. And we"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1228.8,"endTime":1231.44,"body":"don't understand their"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1231.44,"endTime":1234.68,"body":"struggles. Right? A friend of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1231.44,"endTime":1234.68,"body":"mine describes it this way. She"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1234.68,"endTime":1240.29,"body":"said, we judge our insides by"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1234.68,"endTime":1240.29,"body":"everybody else's outsides."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1240.35,"endTime":1242.99,"body":"Yes. Our view of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1240.35,"endTime":1242.99,"body":"everyone is projection."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1243.02,"endTime":1245.24,"body":"Yeah, that's right."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1243.02,"endTime":1245.24,"body":"They're dressed up real nice."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1245.24,"endTime":1249.29,"body":"They smell clean. Their kids are"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1245.24,"endTime":1249.29,"body":"not yes or not misbehaving."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1249.29,"endTime":1250.88,"body":"Apparently, they've got their"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1249.29,"endTime":1250.88,"body":"life together."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1251.15,"endTime":1253.82,"body":"Yes. Even if they"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1251.15,"endTime":1253.82,"body":"were like fighting each other"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1253.82,"endTime":1257.66,"body":"cats and dogs in the car on the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1253.82,"endTime":1257.66,"body":"way to serve. So here they are,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1257.66,"endTime":1260.06,"body":"and that they look like they're"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1257.66,"endTime":1260.06,"body":"ready to go to the photo album."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1260.27,"endTime":1260.69,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1260.72,"endTime":1263.75,"body":"Matt. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1260.72,"endTime":1263.75,"body":"as all as I do, everybody has"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1263.75,"endTime":1266.45,"body":"the same experience, which is"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1263.75,"endTime":1266.45,"body":"the fights break out back in the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1266.45,"endTime":1267.02,"body":"car again?"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1267.78,"endTime":1272.76,"body":"Yes, you can't even get out of"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1267.78,"endTime":1272.76,"body":"the parking lot. So I see that."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1273.15,"endTime":1275.31,"body":"I'm just gonna say this. And I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1273.15,"endTime":1275.31,"body":"hope you take it in the right"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1275.31,"endTime":1278.91,"body":"spirit. People who have"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1275.31,"endTime":1278.91,"body":"experienced this, like you,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1279.18,"endTime":1282.0,"body":"frankly, make us uncomfortable,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1279.18,"endTime":1282.0,"body":"because we don't know what to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1282.0,"endTime":1287.76,"body":"do. We want to support you. But"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1282.0,"endTime":1287.76,"body":"we don't know how. How do we do"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1287.76,"endTime":1288.18,"body":"that?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1288.81,"endTime":1291.42,"body":"Well, I said that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1288.81,"endTime":1291.42,"body":"I have all these stories about"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1291.42,"endTime":1295.44,"body":"the wonderful things that people"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1291.42,"endTime":1295.44,"body":"did for us. And I mean, there"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1295.44,"endTime":1299.85,"body":"were occasional tacky comments,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1295.44,"endTime":1299.85,"body":"but those were very occasional."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1300.33,"endTime":1302.73,"body":"And the one story that really"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1300.33,"endTime":1302.73,"body":"stands out, this would have been"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1302.73,"endTime":1307.62,"body":"just a day or two. after it"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1302.73,"endTime":1307.62,"body":"happened. Lauren wasn't even out"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1307.62,"endTime":1313.23,"body":"of the hospital yet. So she and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1307.62,"endTime":1313.23,"body":"I were sitting around, and then"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1313.23,"endTime":1316.47,"body":"the hospital room trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1313.23,"endTime":1316.47,"body":"process trying to do I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1316.47,"endTime":1320.67,"body":"even know what Yeah, two"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1316.47,"endTime":1320.67,"body":"brothers from church came by to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1320.67,"endTime":1324.42,"body":"see us and we're, I won't name"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1320.67,"endTime":1324.42,"body":"them. They were Josh Collier,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1324.42,"endTime":1328.23,"body":"and Chris puti, two of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1324.42,"endTime":1328.23,"body":"members at Joliet, they came"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1328.23,"endTime":1335.19,"body":"into the room. And they said, We"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1328.23,"endTime":1335.19,"body":"are here, we are sorry that this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1335.19,"endTime":1339.9,"body":"has happened to you. We have no"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1335.19,"endTime":1339.9,"body":"idea what to say. So we're not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1339.9,"endTime":1342.87,"body":"going to try to fix things and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1339.9,"endTime":1342.87,"body":"make things better. But we're"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1342.87,"endTime":1345.93,"body":"here and we love you. I think a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1342.87,"endTime":1345.93,"body":"lot of the time, when we're"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1345.93,"endTime":1350.82,"body":"dealing with someone who has"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1345.93,"endTime":1350.82,"body":"suffered that horrible loss, we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1350.82,"endTime":1356.28,"body":"feel responsible for coming up"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1350.82,"endTime":1356.28,"body":"with these wise words of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1356.28,"endTime":1360.69,"body":"healing, that are going to make"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1356.28,"endTime":1360.69,"body":"the problem go away that are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1360.69,"endTime":1364.8,"body":"going to make them feel better."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1360.69,"endTime":1364.8,"body":"And that's just not realistic."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1364.92,"endTime":1369.81,"body":"If someone is grieving the death"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1364.92,"endTime":1369.81,"body":"of a loved one, especially"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1369.81,"endTime":1375.57,"body":"something like that, you are not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1369.81,"endTime":1375.57,"body":"going to fix things. There is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1375.63,"endTime":1380.97,"body":"this horribly, long, bitter road"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1375.63,"endTime":1380.97,"body":"ahead of these people. That"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1380.97,"endTime":1386.61,"body":"being the case, don't try the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1380.97,"endTime":1386.61,"body":"wisest thing that Job's three"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1386.61,"endTime":1390.6,"body":"friends did, was to sit there"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1386.61,"endTime":1390.6,"body":"for a week and say nothing. It"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1390.6,"endTime":1397.5,"body":"is so deeply meaningful. To have"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1390.6,"endTime":1397.5,"body":"people who are going through"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1397.5,"endTime":1400.89,"body":"this with you know that they are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1397.5,"endTime":1400.89,"body":"there, I didn't know that they"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1400.89,"endTime":1405.93,"body":"are with you, I didn't know that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1400.89,"endTime":1405.93,"body":"they love you. That is the most"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1405.93,"endTime":1410.04,"body":"precious gift that we can give"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1405.93,"endTime":1410.04,"body":"one another in a time like that."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1410.67,"endTime":1416.79,"body":"If we confine ourselves to that,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1410.67,"endTime":1416.79,"body":"then we will accomplish great"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1416.79,"endTime":1420.84,"body":"good that just as it is hard to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1416.79,"endTime":1420.84,"body":"imagine getting through a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1420.84,"endTime":1425.01,"body":"tragedy like that without God,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1420.84,"endTime":1425.01,"body":"it's really hard to imagine"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1425.01,"endTime":1427.86,"body":"getting through a tragedy like"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1425.01,"endTime":1427.86,"body":"that without God's people. The"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1427.86,"endTime":1430.77,"body":"emotional support of other"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1427.86,"endTime":1430.77,"body":"Christians makes the most"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1430.77,"endTime":1431.85,"body":"incredible difference."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1432.29,"endTime":1434.69,"body":"What's the worst"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1432.29,"endTime":1434.69,"body":"thing we could do in a situation"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1434.69,"endTime":1439.85,"body":"like that? My guess is everybody"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1434.69,"endTime":1439.85,"body":"has the right intentions. But"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1439.85,"endTime":1443.93,"body":"they don't understand what the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1439.85,"endTime":1443.93,"body":"wrong thing to do looks like."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1444.02,"endTime":1448.73,"body":"I think the worst"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1444.02,"endTime":1448.73,"body":"thing to do is, and again, the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1448.73,"endTime":1453.35,"body":"people who did this were very"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1448.73,"endTime":1453.35,"body":"well meaning I don't blame them"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1453.35,"endTime":1461.21,"body":"for it at all. But to try to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1453.35,"endTime":1461.21,"body":"diminish the awfulness of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1461.21,"endTime":1464.96,"body":"experience or the intensity of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1461.21,"endTime":1464.96,"body":"the suffering. Like there was"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1465.17,"endTime":1467.81,"body":"one sister who told my wife,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1465.17,"endTime":1467.81,"body":"it's alright, you can have more"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1467.81,"endTime":1473.03,"body":"kids. You know, while true and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1467.81,"endTime":1473.03,"body":"thankfully, things have worked"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1473.03,"endTime":1477.32,"body":"out that way. We have two"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1473.03,"endTime":1477.32,"body":"healthy, wonderful children in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1477.32,"endTime":1480.92,"body":"the moment. That is not helpful."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1477.32,"endTime":1480.92,"body":"And I understand why people say"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1480.92,"endTime":1486.44,"body":"things like that. Because part"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1480.92,"endTime":1486.44,"body":"of it is a desire to help. Part"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1486.44,"endTime":1489.47,"body":"of it is that our culture is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1486.44,"endTime":1489.47,"body":"really uncomfortable with grief."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1490.64,"endTime":1494.15,"body":"And feels like okay, you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1490.64,"endTime":1494.15,"body":"shouldn't you shouldn't mourn"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1494.15,"endTime":1496.73,"body":"for six weeks, that's a decent"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1494.15,"endTime":1496.73,"body":"interval and then you should go"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1496.73,"endTime":1500.33,"body":"on with your life. So because we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1496.73,"endTime":1500.33,"body":"have that discussion comfort"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1504.26,"body":"with it. It's like we want to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1504.26,"body":"minimize it try to try to make"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1504.26,"endTime":1508.58,"body":"it go away. Yeah. Well, when, in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1504.26,"endTime":1508.58,"body":"reality, that's just not the way"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1508.58,"endTime":1509.57,"body":"that he would be exploring"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1509.6,"endTime":1511.91,"body":"What's your"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1509.6,"endTime":1511.91,"body":"relationship with God. Now,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1512.03,"endTime":1516.05,"body":"I would say that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1512.03,"endTime":1516.05,"body":"it has continued to grow"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1516.05,"endTime":1522.59,"body":"stronger. And I think alluded to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1516.05,"endTime":1522.59,"body":"this earlier. That one of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1522.59,"endTime":1528.8,"body":"things that suffering an earthly"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1522.59,"endTime":1528.8,"body":"loss like that really makes you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1528.8,"endTime":1532.64,"body":"fix your hope on God, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1528.8,"endTime":1532.64,"body":"if my wife were doing this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1532.64,"endTime":1538.4,"body":"podcast with me, she would tell"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1532.64,"endTime":1538.4,"body":"you that for her, one of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1538.73,"endTime":1542.45,"body":"great big reasons in her heart,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1538.73,"endTime":1542.45,"body":"why she wants to go to heaven,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1543.8,"endTime":1548.54,"body":"is because she wants to see her"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1543.8,"endTime":1548.54,"body":"daughter. And that will always"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1548.54,"endTime":1552.59,"body":"be there. And I think all of us,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1548.54,"endTime":1552.59,"body":"you know, on some level"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1552.59,"endTime":1556.31,"body":"intellectually, know that we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1552.59,"endTime":1556.31,"body":"have problems that only God can"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1556.31,"endTime":1562.73,"body":"solve. But when you got get"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1556.31,"endTime":1562.73,"body":"that, then that's another matter"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1562.73,"endTime":1563.21,"body":"entirely."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1564.29,"endTime":1567.56,"body":"I think it's easy"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1564.29,"endTime":1567.56,"body":"to go into Hobby Lobby and see"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1567.56,"endTime":1571.88,"body":"the pictures that say, trust God"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1567.56,"endTime":1571.88,"body":"or something like that. It's"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1571.88,"endTime":1575.12,"body":"it's a very different experience"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1571.88,"endTime":1575.12,"body":"when that's all you got."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1576.41,"endTime":1580.28,"body":"And I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1576.41,"endTime":1580.28,"body":"it definitely gives you a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1580.28,"endTime":1585.95,"body":"different understanding of what"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1580.28,"endTime":1585.95,"body":"that means. Because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1585.95,"endTime":1590.0,"body":"if you're sort of operating on"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1585.95,"endTime":1590.0,"body":"the the cutesy level of Hobby"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1590.0,"endTime":1595.4,"body":"Lobby Christianity, yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1590.0,"endTime":1595.4,"body":"then trusting God is blue skies"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1595.4,"endTime":1599.06,"body":"and rainbows and sunbeams from"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1595.4,"endTime":1599.06,"body":"heaven. Oh, I trust God. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1601.97,"body":"it's so sweet. It's so"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1601.97,"body":"comforting. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1602.0,"endTime":1607.61,"body":"trusting God, I think, because"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1602.0,"endTime":1607.61,"body":"you want to, as opposed to your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1607.61,"endTime":1614.57,"body":"life is upended, whether because"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1607.61,"endTime":1614.57,"body":"of some life altering sin, or"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1614.57,"endTime":1620.48,"body":"just a life altering event. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1614.57,"endTime":1620.48,"body":"you are forced to confront your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1620.48,"endTime":1624.92,"body":"own inadequacy. And then you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1620.48,"endTime":1624.92,"body":"turn to God, because there is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1624.92,"endTime":1629.0,"body":"nowhere else to turn, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1624.92,"endTime":1629.0,"body":"that sounds so noble, but it's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1629.0,"endTime":1634.55,"body":"not really very noble at all."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1629.0,"endTime":1634.55,"body":"It's not an enjoyable place to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1634.55,"endTime":1643.25,"body":"be that you are turning to God,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1634.55,"endTime":1643.25,"body":"because he is your only hope."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1643.28,"endTime":1648.38,"body":"Because you have been brought"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1643.28,"endTime":1648.38,"body":"nose to nose with the failure of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1648.38,"endTime":1653.15,"body":"every resource that you possess."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1648.38,"endTime":1653.15,"body":"And you are devastated and you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1653.15,"endTime":1657.11,"body":"are broken. It is either God or"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1653.15,"endTime":1657.11,"body":"giving up on life."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1657.469,"endTime":1658.819,"body":"Do you feel like"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1657.469,"endTime":1658.819,"body":"you're still broken?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1659.54,"endTime":1666.11,"body":"Yes, that's an"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1659.54,"endTime":1666.11,"body":"easy one. That is always going"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1666.11,"endTime":1671.78,"body":"to be there. And I mean, I can"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1666.11,"endTime":1671.78,"body":"go about my day I can I can live"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1671.81,"endTime":1678.38,"body":"a normal life, I can find joy in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1671.81,"endTime":1678.38,"body":"life. And yet, there is always"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1678.38,"endTime":1682.64,"body":"that knowledge this has"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1678.38,"endTime":1682.64,"body":"happened, that I live in a world"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1682.64,"endTime":1688.49,"body":"where these things happen. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1682.64,"endTime":1688.49,"body":"that something just as awful"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1688.55,"endTime":1693.14,"body":"easily can happen again, when my"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1688.55,"endTime":1693.14,"body":"other children were born. There"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1693.14,"endTime":1697.67,"body":"were no problems. In either"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1693.14,"endTime":1697.67,"body":"case, they both came out of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1697.67,"endTime":1706.31,"body":"womb, very healthy. And yet, in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1697.67,"endTime":1706.31,"body":"the especially in the later part"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1706.49,"endTime":1716.21,"body":"of Lauren's pregnancies, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1706.49,"endTime":1716.21,"body":"oppressed by this dread that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1716.63,"endTime":1719.78,"body":"what had happened before what"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1716.63,"endTime":1719.78,"body":"happened again? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1719.78,"endTime":1725.78,"body":"obviously couldn't talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1719.78,"endTime":1725.78,"body":"that to her. But that is always"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1725.78,"endTime":1730.58,"body":"there. It is always in the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1725.78,"endTime":1730.58,"body":"background. That, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1730.64,"endTime":1734.99,"body":"just yesterday, our kids went"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1730.64,"endTime":1734.99,"body":"out for a walk down the country"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1734.99,"endTime":1741.5,"body":"road north of our subdivision."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1734.99,"endTime":1741.5,"body":"And they were out later than we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1741.5,"endTime":1745.79,"body":"were expecting them to be. And,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1741.5,"endTime":1745.79,"body":"you know, in the back of my"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1745.79,"endTime":1749.36,"body":"mind, there, there was this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1745.79,"endTime":1749.36,"body":"question, Has something"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1749.36,"endTime":1754.64,"body":"happened? backed by the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1749.36,"endTime":1754.64,"body":"knowledge that something can"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1754.64,"endTime":1760.01,"body":"happen. Yeah. And that things"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1754.64,"endTime":1760.01,"body":"like that do happen. And I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1760.07,"endTime":1763.49,"body":"I don't think that's something"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1760.07,"endTime":1763.49,"body":"that you ever outlive, or ever"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1763.64,"endTime":1767.12,"body":"outgrow that you you just spend"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1763.64,"endTime":1767.12,"body":"the rest of your life with a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1767.12,"endTime":1769.64,"body":"sense of earthly imperfection"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1767.12,"endTime":1769.64,"body":"and brokenness."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1773.03,"endTime":1776.78,"body":"I'm sure you feel"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1773.03,"endTime":1776.78,"body":"grief still. I'm sure you still"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1776.78,"endTime":1780.59,"body":"have what we would call negative"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1776.78,"endTime":1780.59,"body":"emotions. How do you deal with"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1780.59,"endTime":1781.58,"body":"those differently now"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1781.91,"endTime":1786.62,"body":"that they're much"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1781.91,"endTime":1786.62,"body":"less intense than they were? And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1787.64,"endTime":1791.9,"body":"I get, I get the feeling that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1787.64,"endTime":1791.9,"body":"you sense as we've been talking"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1791.9,"endTime":1794.6,"body":"that I feel very comfortable"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1791.9,"endTime":1794.6,"body":"talking about all this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1795.65,"endTime":1804.5,"body":"And that's because these are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1795.65,"endTime":1804.5,"body":"very Very well worn mental pads"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1804.5,"endTime":1812.9,"body":"for me that I have been"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1804.5,"endTime":1812.9,"body":"wrestling with this stuff long"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1812.9,"endTime":1819.83,"body":"enough that I am content with"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1812.9,"endTime":1819.83,"body":"the answers that I've got. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1819.83,"endTime":1822.62,"body":"feel confident that they're the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1819.83,"endTime":1822.62,"body":"best answers available."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1823.4,"endTime":1826.43,"body":"Sometimes when we look at"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1823.4,"endTime":1826.43,"body":"somebody who is in a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1826.82,"endTime":1831.5,"body":"dramatically different situation"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1826.82,"endTime":1831.5,"body":"than we are in, like, for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1831.5,"endTime":1833.99,"body":"instance, somebody who's in an"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1831.5,"endTime":1833.99,"body":"accident, and then has to spend"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1833.99,"endTime":1836.18,"body":"the rest of their life"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1833.99,"endTime":1836.18,"body":"paralyzed. So, you know, you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1836.18,"endTime":1839.27,"body":"have this young, strong athlete"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1836.18,"endTime":1839.27,"body":"who has now reduced to spending"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1839.27,"endTime":1843.17,"body":"the rest of his life in a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1839.27,"endTime":1843.17,"body":"wheelchair. Yeah. The funny"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1843.17,"endTime":1847.34,"body":"thing about the human race, both"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1843.17,"endTime":1847.34,"body":"the blessing and the curse, is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1847.34,"endTime":1853.61,"body":"that we can get used to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1847.34,"endTime":1853.61,"body":"anything. And so you know, this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1854.45,"endTime":1863.24,"body":"burden that seems so awful to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1854.45,"endTime":1863.24,"body":"you. This is just life to me."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1863.93,"endTime":1870.83,"body":"And going along my way, as I do,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1863.93,"endTime":1870.83,"body":"just seems very unremarkable to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1870.83,"endTime":1876.59,"body":"me, because this is life. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1870.83,"endTime":1876.59,"body":"yet, part of what this is doing"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1876.59,"endTime":1885.77,"body":"is actually making me step back"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1876.59,"endTime":1885.77,"body":"and evaluate where I am. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1885.77,"endTime":1891.47,"body":"think the fact that I'm able to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1885.77,"endTime":1891.47,"body":"do that, and to live a life"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1891.47,"endTime":1897.83,"body":"without being just forever"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1891.47,"endTime":1897.83,"body":"smashed flat by this thing that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1897.83,"endTime":1900.44,"body":"has happened, because there are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1897.83,"endTime":1900.44,"body":"people who do there are people"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1900.44,"endTime":1907.16,"body":"who suffer losses like that and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1900.44,"endTime":1907.16,"body":"never get over them. Yeah. The"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1907.16,"endTime":1912.38,"body":"fact that I have been able to go"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1907.16,"endTime":1912.38,"body":"on. And the fact that my wife"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1912.38,"endTime":1917.3,"body":"has been able to go on is an"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1912.38,"endTime":1917.3,"body":"amazing testimonial to the love"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1917.3,"endTime":1918.26,"body":"and to the mercy of God."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1918.59,"endTime":1922.1,"body":"if somebody were to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1918.59,"endTime":1922.1,"body":"experience something similar."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1923.99,"endTime":1924.8,"body":"What would you tell them?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1925.29,"endTime":1930.84,"body":"I would tell"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1925.29,"endTime":1930.84,"body":"them, I'm so sorry. I love you."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1931.74,"endTime":1936.54,"body":"I am here for you. If you want"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1931.74,"endTime":1936.54,"body":"somebody to talk these things"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1936.54,"endTime":1943.98,"body":"through with that I'm here. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1936.54,"endTime":1943.98,"body":"if you need somebody to talk to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1943.98,"endTime":1949.35,"body":"six months from now, or nine"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1943.98,"endTime":1949.35,"body":"months from now, that I am still"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1949.35,"endTime":1949.65,"body":"here."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1950.16,"endTime":1953.73,"body":"Well, let me change"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1950.16,"endTime":1953.73,"body":"gears a little bit. You write"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1953.73,"endTime":1954.39,"body":"songs."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1954.99,"endTime":1955.56,"body":"I do."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1956.31,"endTime":1957.75,"body":"Tell me a little"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":1956.31,"endTime":1957.75,"body":"bit about that."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1958.08,"endTime":1963.03,"body":"This actually"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1958.08,"endTime":1963.03,"body":"much predates the events that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1963.03,"endTime":1966.09,"body":"I've been talking about. I've"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1963.03,"endTime":1966.09,"body":"been writing hymns actually,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1966.09,"endTime":1971.31,"body":"since I was just a teenager back"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1966.09,"endTime":1971.31,"body":"in the mid to late 90s. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1971.34,"endTime":1976.65,"body":"these days, I have turned my"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1971.34,"endTime":1976.65,"body":"attention to writing what's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1976.65,"endTime":1983.25,"body":"called assaulter. And what"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1976.65,"endTime":1983.25,"body":"assaulter is, is a collection of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1983.28,"endTime":1988.08,"body":"songs like the book of Psalms"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1983.28,"endTime":1988.08,"body":"that have been paraphrased so"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1988.08,"endTime":1993.03,"body":"that now they are in rhyme and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1988.08,"endTime":1993.03,"body":"meter and look like a hymn that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1993.12,"endTime":1998.22,"body":"is in our hymn books. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1993.12,"endTime":1998.22,"body":"that you can sing them just like"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1998.22,"endTime":2002.0,"body":"you would sing a hymn. And we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":1998.22,"endTime":2002.0,"body":"sing a few of these, like"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2002.03,"endTime":2005.93,"body":"hallelujah praise, Jehovah, for"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2002.03,"endTime":2005.93,"body":"instance, is a paraphrase of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2005.93,"endTime":2013.04,"body":"Psalm 148. But our coverage"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2005.93,"endTime":2013.04,"body":"there is very incomplete that we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2013.04,"endTime":2017.57,"body":"don't have the same tradition of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2013.04,"endTime":2017.57,"body":"Psalm singing, for instance,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2017.57,"endTime":2022.43,"body":"that the Presbyterian Church"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2017.57,"endTime":2022.43,"body":"does, right. And in a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2022.43,"endTime":2026.66,"body":"ways, I think that deprives us"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2022.43,"endTime":2026.66,"body":"of our spiritual heritage."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2027.32,"endTime":2030.98,"body":"Because when you look at the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2027.32,"endTime":2030.98,"body":"Psalms, a lot of them are very"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2030.98,"endTime":2036.17,"body":"dark, that you have various"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2030.98,"endTime":2036.17,"body":"solidness dealing with betrayal,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2036.56,"endTime":2042.41,"body":"illness, just all of these awful"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2036.56,"endTime":2042.41,"body":"trials if Psalm 51, where David"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2042.41,"endTime":2047.9,"body":"is grappling with the enormity"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2042.41,"endTime":2047.9,"body":"of his own sin. And we tend not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2047.9,"endTime":2051.5,"body":"to be very comfortable with"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2047.9,"endTime":2051.5,"body":"those we certainly don't sing"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2051.5,"endTime":2055.73,"body":"those songs. Or if we do we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2051.5,"endTime":2055.73,"body":"twist them like for instance, I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2055.73,"endTime":2060.35,"body":"think Psalm 42 is a psalm that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2055.73,"endTime":2060.35,"body":"is about the experience of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2060.35,"endTime":2064.13,"body":"depression and seeking God and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2060.35,"endTime":2064.13,"body":"depression. Yet the song that we"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2064.13,"endTime":2069.86,"body":"sing that comes out of Psalm 42"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2064.13,"endTime":2069.86,"body":"is as the deer which is this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2069.86,"endTime":2074.21,"body":"light, fluffy, happy, bouncy"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2069.86,"endTime":2074.21,"body":"kind of song. Yeah, our song"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2074.21,"endTime":2077.99,"body":"repertoire shows a tremendous"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2074.21,"endTime":2077.99,"body":"discomfort with the darker side"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2077.99,"endTime":2082.61,"body":"of human existence that is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2077.99,"endTime":2082.61,"body":"revealed in the songs by shying"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2082.61,"endTime":2087.08,"body":"away from those things. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2082.61,"endTime":2087.08,"body":"we leave ourselves unequipped"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2087.08,"endTime":2090.41,"body":"with the spiritual vocabulary"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2087.08,"endTime":2090.41,"body":"that we need when inevitably"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2090.41,"endTime":2095.99,"body":"those those hard times come upon"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2090.41,"endTime":2095.99,"body":"us. Right that you have a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2095.99,"endTime":2099.44,"body":"Christian who goes to church and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2095.99,"endTime":2099.44,"body":"never sings anything of that is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2099.44,"endTime":2102.71,"body":"about depression. Yeah, and they"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2099.44,"endTime":2102.71,"body":"go through an episode of"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2102.71,"endTime":2107.45,"body":"depression in their lives. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2102.71,"endTime":2107.45,"body":"for years, people have said"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2107.45,"endTime":2110.12,"body":"things like, well, if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2107.45,"endTime":2110.12,"body":"depressed then that that's a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2110.12,"endTime":2112.67,"body":"sign of spiritual weakness on"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2110.12,"endTime":2112.67,"body":"your part. That's a spiritual"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2112.67,"endTime":2118.01,"body":"failure. That just simply isn't"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2112.67,"endTime":2118.01,"body":"reckoning with the Psalms that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2118.01,"endTime":2121.79,"body":"show us how to look for God in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2118.01,"endTime":2121.79,"body":"the midst of depression. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2121.88,"endTime":2124.82,"body":"that when you feel like you are"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2121.88,"endTime":2124.82,"body":"drowning, like the Psalm is dead"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2124.82,"endTime":2128.12,"body":"in Psalm 42, how can you cry out"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2124.82,"endTime":2128.12,"body":"to God in that? How can you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2128.12,"endTime":2133.07,"body":"bring that sort of thing before"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2128.12,"endTime":2133.07,"body":"God? Yeah. And we need that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2133.07,"endTime":2138.95,"body":"vocabulary, that God is a God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2133.07,"endTime":2138.95,"body":"who is big enough for our anger,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2138.95,"endTime":2142.97,"body":"and our sorrow and our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2138.95,"endTime":2142.97,"body":"depression, and our resentment"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2142.97,"endTime":2145.76,"body":"and all the other awful things"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2142.97,"endTime":2145.76,"body":"that we go through in our lives"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2145.76,"endTime":2148.43,"body":"that we can bring before His"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2145.76,"endTime":2148.43,"body":"throne? Yeah, all of those"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2148.43,"endTime":2153.26,"body":"things that show our brokenness,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2148.43,"endTime":2153.26,"body":"yeah, that God is big enough to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2153.26,"endTime":2155.93,"body":"hear those things from us, even"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2153.26,"endTime":2155.93,"body":"in the songs we sing to him."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2157.64,"endTime":2159.68,"body":"I've likened the"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2157.64,"endTime":2159.68,"body":"relationship that we have with"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2159.68,"endTime":2162.77,"body":"God as the relationship that we"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2159.68,"endTime":2162.77,"body":"have with our dad. And I use"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2162.77,"endTime":2166.1,"body":"that terminology very"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2162.77,"endTime":2166.1,"body":"intentionally. When we're with"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2166.1,"endTime":2169.67,"body":"our earthly Dad, what we will do"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2166.1,"endTime":2169.67,"body":"is we will often complain about"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2169.67,"endTime":2171.95,"body":"the things that we want to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2169.67,"endTime":2171.95,"body":"complain about. And it's really"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2171.95,"endTime":2175.13,"body":"a more unfiltered conversation"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2171.95,"endTime":2175.13,"body":"that we'll have with our dad,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2175.46,"endTime":2179.3,"body":"and our dad can take it. And I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2175.46,"endTime":2179.3,"body":"think God is very much the same"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2179.3,"endTime":2183.89,"body":"way. I think I'm one of those"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2179.3,"endTime":2183.89,"body":"very few people that think Job"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2183.89,"endTime":2188.06,"body":"got it right. That Job just"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2183.89,"endTime":2188.06,"body":"complained and complained and"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2188.06,"endTime":2191.39,"body":"complained. And then God stepped"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2188.06,"endTime":2191.39,"body":"in and said, Look, you just"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2191.39,"endTime":2194.12,"body":"don't understand this stuff. I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2191.39,"endTime":2194.12,"body":"think it was a close"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2194.12,"endTime":2195.71,"body":"relationship that Job had?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2196.34,"endTime":2199.13,"body":"Well, I guess I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2196.34,"endTime":2199.13,"body":"also am one of those few people"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2199.13,"endTime":2203.39,"body":"who thinks that about job"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2199.13,"endTime":2203.39,"body":"because at the end of Job, God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2203.39,"endTime":2208.73,"body":"condemns the three friends, yes."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2203.39,"endTime":2208.73,"body":"But he says job was right, your"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2208.73,"endTime":2212.51,"body":"right job and everything that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2208.73,"endTime":2212.51,"body":"you said, and who would like to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2212.51,"endTime":2215.66,"body":"argue with God and say that?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2212.51,"endTime":2215.66,"body":"Okay, this shows job, spiritual"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2215.66,"endTime":2220.94,"body":"problems. I mean, come on. No,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2215.66,"endTime":2220.94,"body":"they're too I think we have this"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2220.97,"endTime":2226.76,"body":"this powerful example of someone"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2220.97,"endTime":2226.76,"body":"who is dealing with a truly"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2226.76,"endTime":2233.87,"body":"unimaginable loss. Yeah, is not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2226.76,"endTime":2233.87,"body":"at all shy about taking it"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2233.87,"endTime":2237.17,"body":"before God and expressing his"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2233.87,"endTime":2237.17,"body":"anger and his frustration and"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2237.17,"endTime":2240.26,"body":"his hurt. And at the end, God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2237.17,"endTime":2240.26,"body":"does not say, Yep, you got it."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2240.26,"endTime":2243.77,"body":"All right, show. Right. But God"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2240.26,"endTime":2243.77,"body":"doesn't blame him either. Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2243.8,"endTime":2247.85,"body":"Because God is not going to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2243.8,"endTime":2247.85,"body":"defensive. Because of the things"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2247.85,"endTime":2249.59,"body":"we say to him. God is not going"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2247.85,"endTime":2249.59,"body":"to feel threatened"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2249.67,"endTime":2250.57,"body":"or surprised."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2251.44,"endTime":2253.99,"body":"I mean, it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2251.44,"endTime":2253.99,"body":"like we can hide these thoughts"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2253.99,"endTime":2256.0,"body":"and feelings that we have, just"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2253.99,"endTime":2256.0,"body":"because we don't put them in the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2256.0,"endTime":2259.87,"body":"prayer with in Jesus name. Amen."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2256.0,"endTime":2259.87,"body":"At the end. Yeah, that's exactly"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2259.87,"endTime":2264.22,"body":"right. So there is no point in"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2259.87,"endTime":2264.22,"body":"trying to hide the ugly from"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2264.22,"endTime":2267.55,"body":"God. Yeah. And there's no reason"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2264.22,"endTime":2267.55,"body":"to hide the ugly from God."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2267.55,"endTime":2273.4,"body":"Anyway, he's mindful of our"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2267.55,"endTime":2273.4,"body":"frame. And I think like a dad,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2274.81,"endTime":2277.09,"body":"I've got a pretty"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2274.81,"endTime":2277.09,"body":"good idea when my kids are just"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2277.09,"endTime":2280.66,"body":"acting up to act up. Do they"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2277.09,"endTime":2280.66,"body":"need to ask forgiveness? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2280.66,"endTime":2284.53,"body":"because they don't need to be"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2280.66,"endTime":2284.53,"body":"doing what they're doing. But do"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2284.53,"endTime":2288.31,"body":"I hold it against them? Really?"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2284.53,"endTime":2288.31,"body":"I've been there. And I know my"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2288.31,"endTime":2288.76,"body":"kids."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2288.88,"endTime":2291.25,"body":"Yeah, I know that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2288.88,"endTime":2291.25,"body":"there are times when I can look"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2291.25,"endTime":2296.71,"body":"at my son. And I know exactly"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2291.25,"endTime":2296.71,"body":"what he is thinking. Because he"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2296.71,"endTime":2301.06,"body":"is just as ornery as his dad is."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2296.71,"endTime":2301.06,"body":"And he is up to the same stance"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2301.06,"endTime":2305.59,"body":"that I was up to when I was his"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2301.06,"endTime":2305.59,"body":"age. Yeah. God knows us to with"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2305.59,"endTime":2309.01,"body":"God. There don't have to be any"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2305.59,"endTime":2309.01,"body":"secrets because there can't be"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2309.01,"endTime":2309.97,"body":"any secrets anyway,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2310.0,"endTime":2313.45,"body":"right? And in those"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2310.0,"endTime":2313.45,"body":"kind of relationships, I think"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2313.45,"endTime":2316.15,"body":"of you know, my relationship"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2313.45,"endTime":2316.15,"body":"with my kids my relationship"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2316.15,"endTime":2320.29,"body":"with my father. I can absolutely"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2316.15,"endTime":2320.29,"body":"hear my dad saying, Why are you"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2320.29,"endTime":2324.28,"body":"being such an idiot right now? I"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2320.29,"endTime":2324.28,"body":"know what you did. I know what"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2324.28,"endTime":2326.77,"body":"you did. Yeah, just stop being"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2324.28,"endTime":2326.77,"body":"stupid."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2326.86,"endTime":2330.55,"body":"People have been trying to hide"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2326.86,"endTime":2330.55,"body":"from God since the beginning. It"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2330.55,"endTime":2334.57,"body":"has never, ever worked. So"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2330.55,"endTime":2334.57,"body":"really, why try? Well, Matt,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2335.17,"endTime":2338.05,"body":"I really appreciate this"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2335.17,"endTime":2338.05,"body":"conversation. I end all of my"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2338.05,"endTime":2342.4,"body":"podcasts with be good and do"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2338.05,"endTime":2342.4,"body":"good. What is good,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2342.64,"endTime":2348.58,"body":"I think good is"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2342.64,"endTime":2348.58,"body":"steadfastly seeking God. Even"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2348.58,"endTime":2354.55,"body":"when you do not see the outcome,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2348.58,"endTime":2354.55,"body":"even when you do not see how the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2354.55,"endTime":2357.91,"body":"outcome can be good. Continue to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2354.55,"endTime":2357.91,"body":"see God anyway."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2358.81,"endTime":2360.49,"body":"If somebody wanted"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2358.81,"endTime":2360.49,"body":"to try and get a hold of you,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2360.49,"endTime":2361.45,"body":"how could they do that?"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2361.72,"endTime":2366.49,"body":"Let me say also"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2361.72,"endTime":2366.49,"body":"that simply because I've gone"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2366.49,"endTime":2372.1,"body":"through this, that whenever I"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2366.49,"endTime":2372.1,"body":"hear of a brother who has lost a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2372.1,"endTime":2375.88,"body":"child, I tried to reach out to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2372.1,"endTime":2375.88,"body":"them and let them know that I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2375.88,"endTime":2379.36,"body":"available. So if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2375.88,"endTime":2379.36,"body":"listening to this and you would"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2379.36,"endTime":2384.97,"body":"like to talk to me about it,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2379.36,"endTime":2384.97,"body":"then I would definitely be happy"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2384.97,"endTime":2390.97,"body":"to sit with you and try to help"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2384.97,"endTime":2390.97,"body":"you work through all of the work"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2390.97,"endTime":2397.3,"body":"that you are dealing with. And"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2390.97,"endTime":2397.3,"body":"I'm very fundable on Facebook,"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2397.69,"endTime":2403.06,"body":"at Matthew w bathroom. Drop me a"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2397.69,"endTime":2403.06,"body":"message. If you want me to"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2403.06,"endTime":2408.13,"body":"friend you, we'll talk. You"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2403.06,"endTime":2408.13,"body":"could email me at m and l"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2408.13,"endTime":2414.28,"body":"bassford@gmail.com. And if you"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2408.13,"endTime":2414.28,"body":"have reactions about anything"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2414.28,"endTime":2415.99,"body":"that I said I'd love to hear it."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2414.28,"endTime":2415.99,"body":"Well, Matt,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2415.99,"endTime":2418.12,"body":"thank you so much"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2415.99,"endTime":2418.12,"body":"for doing this man. I really"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2418.15,"endTime":2420.37,"body":"appreciate you talking about"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2418.15,"endTime":2420.37,"body":"your story."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2420.55,"endTime":2422.41,"body":"This is something"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2420.55,"endTime":2422.41,"body":"that I think I need to talk"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2422.41,"endTime":2428.95,"body":"about. Because for so many it's"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2422.41,"endTime":2428.95,"body":"a taboo topic, which means that"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2428.95,"endTime":2434.5,"body":"we are depriving people of the"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2428.95,"endTime":2434.5,"body":"perspective that they need when"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2434.5,"endTime":2437.8,"body":"they most need it. Yeah, silence"},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2434.5,"endTime":2437.8,"body":"here doesn't benefit anybody."},{"speaker":"Matt Bassford","startTime":2438.46,"endTime":2439.33,"body":"God bless you, man."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2440.56,"endTime":2443.47,"body":"I hope you see how"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2440.56,"endTime":2443.47,"body":"Matt's relationship with God and"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2443.47,"endTime":2448.6,"body":"his wife are deeper. Matt, thank"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2443.47,"endTime":2448.6,"body":"you for having an honest"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2448.6,"endTime":2452.59,"body":"conversation about a really hard"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2448.6,"endTime":2452.59,"body":"topic. I'm hoping to have more"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2452.59,"endTime":2457.87,"body":"conversations about how we are"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2452.59,"endTime":2457.87,"body":"all wonderfully broken, and how"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2457.87,"endTime":2462.01,"body":"that brokenness makes us"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2457.87,"endTime":2462.01,"body":"stronger. I again want to thank"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2462.01,"endTime":2465.04,"body":"those who support the podcast"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2462.01,"endTime":2465.04,"body":"like my mother, George Sanchez,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2465.04,"endTime":2469.24,"body":"Kevin Hanson, Barbara McElwain,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2465.04,"endTime":2469.24,"body":"and Craig Embry. I also want to"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2469.24,"endTime":2472.45,"body":"support a couple other podcasts,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2469.24,"endTime":2472.45,"body":"how Hammons has a good one"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2472.45,"endTime":2475.39,"body":"called the citizen of heaven."},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2472.45,"endTime":2475.39,"body":"And I had a truly delightful"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2475.39,"endTime":2477.97,"body":"conversation with my buddy,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2475.39,"endTime":2477.97,"body":"Chris Emerson, and my new"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2477.97,"endTime":2481.33,"body":"friend. How about digital"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2477.97,"endTime":2481.33,"body":"discipleship. I've also been"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2481.33,"endTime":2484.78,"body":"very impressed with stuff my"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2481.33,"endTime":2484.78,"body":"buddy Darren Curtis is doing on"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2484.78,"endTime":2488.92,"body":"his podcast, the leader Smith,"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2484.78,"endTime":2488.92,"body":"oh, and a new fun for me was"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2488.92,"endTime":2491.8,"body":"devotional doctors. It almost"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2488.92,"endTime":2491.8,"body":"sounds like I need to come up"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2491.8,"endTime":2495.19,"body":"with a list of these. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2491.8,"endTime":2495.19,"body":"grateful. Good. People are doing"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2495.19,"endTime":2499.09,"body":"good work with these tools. So"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2495.19,"endTime":2499.09,"body":"until next week, let's be good"},{"speaker":"Kenny Embry","startTime":2499.33,"endTime":2499.93,"body":"and do good."}]}