The merciful God we serve has His ways higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). God can use the most “unlikely people” as far as man’s judgment is concerned. It will be amazing for you to know that despite your being rejected by the people around you, God can still single you out for His purpose. Many of us pastors have stories of woes and rebellions to tell before God called us into His vineyard. A case in hand is that of Evangelist Franklin Graham who did everything possible to run away from God. His rebellion began in childhood and his parents, the great evangelist and wife, Billy Graham and Ruth, never sat Franklin down to lecture him about sin. Franklin smoked cigarettes, went on high-speed chase with the police that almost sent him to jail, got drunk of liquor, in short, Franklin did almost anything to have his own identity from being a Graham.
At 22, Franklin was sick and tired of making a mess out of his life. It was in a hotel room in Jerusalem that Franklin underwent his conversion while he was reading the Bible and got to I Cor. 10:13. He went on mission trip to Korea, Indonesia, India, Singapore and Nepal and Franklin found his calling on that trip. At age 40, a prodigal has totally returned home working for the Lord.
Your case maybe worse than Franklin’s but if you will only surrender to Him, He will cleanse you and use you mightily for His glory too.