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Well, first, I just wanted to say what an honor it is to be here. Guys, I have done speaking, I have done even some teaching and preaching, but this is my first like Sunday service. So I'm like so excited, and what better place than to have one of my best friends in the very front row and her precious family. So I'm just so grateful to be here and to get to share my testimony with you guys. Um, and if it's okay, I want to start in prayer. So bow your heads with me. God, I just thank you so much for this church. I thank you for the beauty and the life that exists here, God. I thank you for just the health of this church, Lord. And I thank you for this opportunity in coming to share, Lord. God, I just pray that you open hearts to receive what you have for us today in this space, God. Let us um let our hearts be receptive, God. Give me the boldness and the courage to share exactly what you want me to share, Lord. And if it reaches one person in the room, then all glory to you. We love you so much and thank you for your peace and your presence. And it's in your precious name I pray. Amen. All right, so in sharing my testimony, I actually don't get to start with my testimony and my story. Um, my story begins with my parents. Um, so before I was born, the doctors told my parents and my mom and dad that I would be born this way. Um, and they told them that I would have no quality of life. Um, they told them that I would be very helpless, that I wouldn't be able to do much of anything. Um, and unfortunately, they did suggest abortion. Now I don't know if there's any doctors in the room, but to be prescribed a no quality of life is the most heartbreaking thing. And the way my parents had enough boldness, trusting in God and courage to have me despite what everyone was saying is honestly a miracle in itself. I consider every single breath that I take and the fact that I get to be here just truly a miracle. And who are humans to say that you have no quality of life when we have a God that can take dry bones and literally bring them to life? Who are we to declare something dead and who are we to declare no quality of life? That is just unacceptable. But I'm so thankful, like I said, that my parents chose to have faith and chose to trust God. And as you can tell by me sitting in front of me today, they had me. Um and I'm so thankful for their faith because we also live in a world that is so quick for any inconvenience to just terminate a pregnancy and to just terminate life and to put labels, and I just think God that God is a God of life, and my parents got to follow him in that, and so I'm so thankful. And I wish I could say from then on, my life was a miracle, yeah, yeah. Like I knew him deeply as a father and a friend, and I loved him, but that is unfortunately just not my story. All growing up, I felt like I was a mistake. I felt like a burden to everybody in my life, a burden to my family, a burden to my friends. And I felt unwell. I felt as if I shouldn't have been born. I hated the way my body was and the way that I thought God created me so much that I begin to starve myself, I begin to self-harm. And I just truly like loathed how I was created and how I was. And because of that, I got to a really low point at a really young age. Um, I was angry all the time, my personality wasn't even the same. Um, and I just couldn't, no matter how many times I was in church, no matter how many times people spoke life over me, I just couldn't believe that there was a God that created me this way that was loving and that was kind. That just didn't make sense in my mind. And like I said, I grew up in the church. Um and so I was told ever since I was a little girl that you are beautiful, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are knit together in your mother's womb. But how could I believe that when I didn't even feel as though I should have been born? That I felt like I was a mistake, that I feel like I was a result of something that went wrong in my mom's womb. I couldn't understand the message of the gospel because I could not believe the love that it proclaimed. This Jesus guy died to save me and loved me. That just did not, that just did not compute in my brain. And it didn't align with my corrupted heart and all the lies that I let in that told me a loving God would never make me this way. And I knew all along, uh, even as a little girl, that the Lord was in a gentle pursuit of my heart. There were so many little blessings and little miracles and little things that the Lord was aligning in my life, and I just refused to see it as Him and to see Him in it because I was just so angry with God. And over time that the Lord softened my heart and he worked on giving me joy, but there was still so much bitterness in my heart, insecurity, self-hatred, confusion. I was still just so angry, and I had, you know, I had the bones, the structure. I went to church, I prayed a little bit, but I just could not be vulnerable and let my heart be seen by God because I was so angry at him and I could not understand it all. The day it all changed for me, I actually went on a trip and it was with this group of Christian TikTokers. I know TikTok, that's so cringy, but whatever. Um, and it was this group of Christian TikTokers that, you know, they're all over the United States and they would meet up and they would do ministry together and um just iron sharpening iron and just beautiful things. And I remember when my friend invited me to go, I was like, yeah, no, I'm not going on that. Because even though on the outside it looked like I was joyful and it looked like I was a Christian, and I would post, you know, Bible verses on my Instagram story and all of those things. I knew that these people deeply loved the Lord and they were real and they were genuine, and I knew they'd see right through the facade that I made for myself. I knew they would be able to see that I didn't know how to pray, that I didn't read scripture, that I did not know God truly. And so I was like, yeah, that's not my thing. I'm not going on that. Um, but the Lord changed my heart, and my friend convinced me to go after lots of begging. And that was the first time that I think I felt the genuine on the genuine love of Jesus just unfiltered so tangibly, and I also felt the whole presence of the Holy Spirit for the first time. I was around these people that genuinely loved the Lord rather than the church experience I grew up with, where people would just look at me. I I came into the sanctuary and I had a target on my back, and I was just looked at, and the kids and youth group didn't treat me well, so me and my sister took turns on who would fake sick each week so that we didn't have to go to church. That's just how it was, sorry. Hope none of you are like this because this is a great church. But and so what I grew up with, what I thought a Christian looked like, what I knew my Christian life looked like. These people were so different, they were so awestruck by the Lord and just so deep in adoration. And so this trip changed my life, and I met Jesus for the first time. I got baptized in a swimming pool in the middle of the night. Um, and from then on, Jesus just changed everything about me. And I remember there was one worship service on that trip where one of my friends was there, and he just came over and gave me a hug. And I was a little like, okay, why are you hugging me? But he gave me a hug that ended up lasting a really long time, and he started just speaking life over me and telling me things that he believed that the Lord put on his heart to share. One thing that he said specifically reshaped my entire identity, though. He told me that I was whole. He told me that I was a beloved child of God, and he said that I was not a mistake, and that I had a calling and a purpose. And this time when God said that he loved me, and he said that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and beautiful and his beloved, I finally believed it. Since then, my life does not look the same. Prayer from then on became more than something I did before a meal. My faith became something so new from the stale religion and the going through the motions kind of faith that I had before. It became all about knowing who my first love is, about prayer that can truly shift atmospheres, worship that brings you into the throne room to give the Lamb seated on the throne the adoration and devotion that he deserves. It's about knowing and hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit as sometimes a soft whisper and sometimes a loud rushing wind and a fire that refines. It's a faith that makes washing somebody's feet beautiful, and surrendering one's heart and honor and devotion to Jesus truly remarkable. It's about learning to dance and to sing with joy and living out of a life of the overflow presence that is a relationship with Jesus. It's about having someone that loves you so much that they died for you, that they laid down their very life just for your life. And the day after I got baptized in a pool, I came to know the Holy Spirit for the first time. And it's kind of a wacky story, so bear with me. But uh we were at an ice cream shop, and it was still on this trip with these TikTokers, and um one of the guys in the group, he started telling me like a vision that he had of me. And in that vision, I had arms and legs, and I was running through a field, and Jesus was there, and there was a flower involved, and lots of details I'm not gonna get into, but he said that I was just running with joy towards Jesus with arms and legs, and he asked me if I ever wished that I did. And I told him there will always be a part of me, even today, that longs to run through a field, that longs to wear a pair of cute shoes from Eva's closet. And as a kid, I thought about that probably every day of my life. There will always be that. I think until the day I'm with Jesus, there will always be a part of me that wishes. Life would be so much easier. But instead of being angry and bitter and asking why God, why can't I? Just having peace with it. However, um, he said that it might sound crazy, but they wanted to go pray for healing over me. And I was like, what the heck are these people doing? Like, what do you mean? But it's because me at the time, I didn't read the Bible, I didn't hear of miracle stories that Jesus did, I didn't know God as a healer, I didn't know the power of God, I didn't know the presence of the Holy Spirit, I didn't know any of these things. So when they asked to pray over me that I would potentially get arms and legs, I thought they were psycho. I was like, y'all are crazy, I'm out of here. Like, what kind of wacky things are you into? Like, is a snake gonna pop out? I just don't even know. Like, is this witchcraft? Like, I'm just not sure. But despite me thinking they're a little off their rockers, I said yes. And I thought that this couldn't happen, but I had faith because I looked at them and they had so much faith. And so we went outside into this field. We probably also looked like lunatics by people get getting ice cream, but we went into this field and they all just laid hands on me, and they just began to pray. And I felt so awkward. I'm gonna be so honest. I was like, why are you touching me? Why are we praying? This isn't English, what's coming out of your mouth? Um, but they just begin to just deeply pray and intercede for me. And this goes on for a while, and I was just like, hold on, like I'm starting to have the faith too. I'm starting to believe that God can do this. And in that moment, Jesus met me there, literally laying in the field, getting bit by ants. Jesus met me there, and it was such a healing moment for me, and it was so beautiful. And in their praying in tongues and in their laying hands, and in the faith that they had in God and how powerful He was, I began to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. And I experienced the Holy Spirit for the first time. And I was in awe. I mean, they prayed over me for like an hour, guys, and I got up and I'm still this way, as you can tell today. And for the first time, even though nothing changed, even though I'm still in this wheelchair, even though I have no arms and legs that randomly grew in the ice cream shop field, for the first time I had faith in God. And for the first time, I got to see how real and how tangible his presence in God is. I got to know God, even though he didn't do the miracle, as a miracle-working God. And in this moment, I leaned into a faith that can move mountains, and I felt the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit. I knew that prayer was more than just, dear God, thank you for my food. Don't let me choke on it, amen. You know, like it was it was this thing that truly can change things, and that God hears your prayers. And I knew in this moment, because the Lord was doing so much realignment in my heart, so much realignment in my life, I knew that God did know me in the womb. And this world and science might say that I am this way, and I was born without arms and legs as a result of an error, of a defect at birth. But that is not what my God says about me. He says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He says that I am known, that I am cherished, that I am special, able, capable, and that I am in no accident. He says that I am whole and that I am wholly His. And now I know my God is saying, My child, don't you think if I wanted you that way, I would have crafted you that way. And this is the God that I have fallen in love with. This is the God who takes a girl who used to starve herself and cut herself because she hated her body so much, who wished she wasn't born, who was angry with God that a prayer could barely come out of her mouth and use her for his glory and redeem her. And one day, he might on this earth heal my body and give me hands and feet. But if not, God is still good. He is still everything that the Word of God says he is, and he will still have my devotion. I will lift the arms that I do have here on earth in worship and praise to him, and that is enough. I will share my story and I will live abundantly and fully. And I get to be overjoyed because I have air in my lungs, I have life, and I have a whole beautiful world to experience and a whole lifetime to get closer with the one who made me and the one who loves me. Now, those doctors that said that I would have no quality of life, I truly wake up and get to live every single day to prove them wrong. I have got to live such an abundant life. I have had so many adventures and from learning to wake surf and to oil paint to so many things. And recently, about a year and a half ago, maybe, I even got to do something that I always dreamed of doing, but I thought was impossible. And I got to go on a missions trip. Uh, and this was such a sweet blessing from the Lord because I remember very vividly my mom and my sister would go on missions trips. And even though, like I said, I was a very fake Christian and I still wanted to go, I wanted to experience the world, I wanted to go on a mission trip so bad, and I was told by the people I loved most, you can't do that. A wheelchair, it can't get to a third world country with rough terrain, and that it's impossible. And like I said, if there's anything I know about my God, nothing is impossible. And I fully believe that. And so God called me to go to Thailand, and I was like, are you sure this is a bit crazy? Um, but let me tell you what, when God calls you somewhere, and when God calls you to do something, he will hold your hand every single step, he will anoint your path, he will smoothen out terrain. I'm literally talking physically, even, to make it possible, because that is the God who loves us and sends us and equips us. So he's waiting on your yes. So not only did I get to go to Thailand, um, flew all 32 hours on a plane, which was exhausting. Oh my goodness. Um, but I got to share my story spontaneously on the spot at orphanages and remote villages, getting to pray with people. I got to ride an elephant and to pet a tiger, just all of these crazy things. I even got to go to a remote jungle to share my testimony to people who've never heard the gospel before by riding on a bamboo pole and a little piece of fabric. And I looked like a human sacrifice, I'm not gonna lie. It was it was crazy. It was crazy. I mean, these these guys who spoke no English are just like holding me on a pole and I'm like, what is going on? Yeah, it was it was crazy, but I still got to go do it, and it just showed me again and again and again that there is nothing impossible to God. And he wants to use each and every single one of you in this room, and he's waiting on your yes. I want every single person in this room to know just how deeply Jesus loves you. He loves you so much that he took the pain and the suffering of the cross to redeem the love that he has for you for the rest of your life and for eternity. He says that you're worth it. He wants you to know him as a father. He wants you to know him as a best friend. And if Scripture says that we are created in the image of God and He knew us in our mother's womb, and He created us with intention, I know with every fiber of my being that I'm not a mistake, that you are not a mistake, but you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a perfect God who is doing everything in his power at every moment to redeem your life, to heal you, and to love you so deeply. Every single one of you here has a story and a testimony of the Lord saying, Beloved, I can and I will use you. We just have to say yes. We just have to step out in faith and in boldness. And I don't know what's going on. I don't know if the enemy has you like he had me wrapped in some identity crisis, full of just lies about who you are and whose you are. But I just want to say there's freedom in that. There is freedom from depression, there is freedom from self-loathing, there is freedom from whatever you've done, from whatever sins, from whatever lies that you're believing. You are beautiful, you are radiant, you are not a mistake, and you are not hard to love by our perfect, perfect God. And you have a heavenly Savior who says, My love, you are worth everything. The cross was worth it for you, the resurrection was worth it for you. My flesh being broken and my blood poured out is worth it. My very life is worth it. For you and for our relationship. And I don't know your stories. I don't know, you know, if any of you have ever felt worthless like I did. I don't know if any of you have ever contemplated taking your life. If suicide's ever been a thought or a lie in your mind. Or if you've had something in your life, whether that's a death in the family, or just raging insecurities that blind you and make you think that God does not love you or you're hard to be loved. I don't know if any of you ever wish you weren't born, or if you've done things that make you feel too broken to be used by God. But I know if that's true, God can redeem it. God can redeem everything. God can do so many things. He can literally touch you and have a miracle. You just gotta reach for the hem of his garments. And I think that's so beautiful because honestly, I look at my life, and if it weren't for the Lord, I don't even know if I'd I know I probably wouldn't be alive. My parents could have aborted me. I could have ended my life because I didn't want to be here. But instead, I get to be here. And I get to just get close to God every single day. And it was it was a journey. It's not gonna be easy, you know. There were so many nights of me just sobbing in my room, even after my encounter with the Lord, and even after my encounters with the Holy Spirit. Like it takes grappling with God, it takes wrestling with God, and that's okay, that's beautiful. But as I close, I just want to read some scripture over you, and I'm also gonna pray. Um But I want you to just soak in every single word and let the word of God just reshape you and remind you of whose you are, remind you that you are his beloved and that you are precious. So I just want you to close your eyes and just absorb every single word. Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. And I actually just want to say one thing about this verse that I learned more recently. Um my mom was in doctors' rooms and in the waiting room for a doctor's appointment. This was the verse that God put on her heart, time and time and time again. And I didn't know this for years, and this verse has become the anchor of my life. And so God already knew that. God already knew that verse would be so pertinent to my life. And he gave it to my mom. And so many people, through words of revelation, gave it to my mom. And I think that's so precious, and I'll hold on on to that forever. Ephesians 2, 10. For we are God's handiwork. I'm gonna say that again. We are God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared for us in advance to do. Psalms 139, 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know that full well. Luke 12, verse 7. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid that you are worth more than many syrups. God, I just thank you so much that you are a God of life. I thank you so much that you are a redeemer. God, I thank you for the testimony that you've given me, even though it's been hard, even though it's been painful, and there's been suffering. God, I thank you that you have given me and every single one of the people in here the opportunity to choose joy because joy is a choice, God. I thank you for your presence, Holy Spirit. I thank you that we get to freely come to you, that we get to pray to you, that we get to just be so adored and infatuated by you. God, you are so good. You are too good to us. We don't always deserve it. But you love us. God, you love us so much that the cross was for us. God, you had every single one of our names written on that cross. You had every single one of our names on your mind as you went to your own execution. And how beautiful is that! How beautiful is it that we have the gospel written into our hearts and into our DNA, into the very ways that our body was born and created, God. And that we get to share that with a world that's broken. In a world that's like talked about earlier, wrapped in barbed wire, God. You get to free us and you will free us. God, I just thank you for your love. It is so holy. Your love is so holy and so precious to us, God. Your love and the stripes that you bled can heal every wound in our heart. It can take a girl who literally cut herself and starved herself and redeem every single thing. God, I just pray right now, if there's anybody in this room that is struggling with deep-rooted insecurity or deep-rooted lies from the enemy that tell them they are not enough, that tell them they are not whole, that they are not loved, that they are too broken to come to the altar, that they are too broken for your love. They're too hard, they're too angry at you, God. If there's any anger in this room for you, God, I just pray that you help soften our hearts today. You soften their hearts, God. You lead them by still waters and you are bringing them to a path of healing right now in the name of Jesus. God, we believe that. Lord, I just pray that you fill every single person in this room. No matter where they are at in your relationship, God, you fill them with a fresh fire and a fresh presence of peace and of your love right now in Jesus' name. God, let us be burdened by your love. Let us physically feel heavy and feel the weight of your love and feel the weight of your presence. Thank you that you are a redeemer. Thank you that you are a creative God, that you make us beautiful, that you make us yours, that we are holy, holy yours, God. Just thank you for what you're doing in this church, Lord. You are creating beauty from ashes. You are bringing dry bones to life. And it's all in just the name of Jesus. It's all in the blood of Jesus. It's nothing we do. God, I just pray that you are, as we leave this service and as we go home back to our lives, God, just let us feel the burden and the heaviness of your love. The heaviness that's so light we can just dance, that we can praise you, that we can lift our arms and just praise you, God. Lord, I just speak an anointing over every single person in this room from any age, God. Give them the boldness to share their testimonies and to share the gospel. Give us the boldness and the vulnerability to be broken by you in your presence. Show us if there are any corrupt ways in our hearts, God. Lead us to still waters. Heal our hearts, God. Self-loathing has no place in this house, and I cast it to the pit of hell. I cast it right now. In security, bow down to the name of Jesus. Holy Spirit, if there is lost and brokenhearted in this room, heal it. Hold their hearts, God. Give them hope. God, we all need hope. We all need hope, and you are hope. It's in your precious and holy, holy name that we pray. Amen.

Thanks for listening to the VFC Podcast. If you live in the Thomasville area, we would love for you to connect with us in person. For more information about our weekly gatherings, including service times and directions, you can visit us at VFC Thomasville.org.