The Psychology Report

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES AND LIVING AS A STRONG FAMILY

January 19, 2019
The Psychology Report
BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES AND LIVING AS A STRONG FAMILY
Chapters
The Psychology Report
BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES AND LIVING AS A STRONG FAMILY
Jan 19, 2019
Allan G. Hedberg, Ph.D.
BE A STRONG FAMILY. LEARN WHAT IT TAKES
Show Notes Transcript

STRONG FAMILIES LEARN TO BECOME STRONG AND LIVE AS A STRONG FAMILY. WE ALL CAN LEARN WHAT IT TAKES AND BEGIN THE PROCESS ON BECOME STRONG AS A FAMILY

Speaker 1:
0:00
Hello there and thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Strong families. That's my topic. You know, the families today are besieged with problems. Trauma strikes when you least expect it. Changes that occur in our culture impact the family. People reject. People give you trouble. Keeble credit people criticize, people turn their backs on you as a family or his family members. Family members go through a variety of events which challenged them in their very core of the personality and the core of their values and morals. Families are challenged. Similarly, you know when a family is challenged and attack in some ways a family can weaken, disintegrate, fall apart, divorced may occur. Kids may go their separate ways. Grandparents may have to step in and take care of children. All kinds of changes occur in all kinds of challenges occur to the family when the family can't handle it.
Speaker 1:
1:10
It's a tough day for any, any family, but here's the problem. When a problem strikes a family member or a family as a whole, that family will either stand and conquer that problem, deal with that problem, rise above that problem becomes stronger and become wiser and have a greater impact for the future. Or that family will begin to disintegrate. The family will fall apart, people will leave. People go their separate ways. People will abandon each other. In other words, the family will cease to exist. So here's the problem. How can a family be strong so that when adversity comes, the family can handle it, the family can deal with it, the family can rise above it to family, can become even stronger as a result of it. Well, let me give you a six characteristics of a strong family and see how you stack up and how your family stacks up.
Speaker 1:
2:12
These six characteristics of a strong family come from the research of it. Professor at the Oklahoma State University, psychology professor, Dr Nick Stinnett, and um, it was published in a book and that book was written by Royce money and it was entitled building stronger families. And in that book, six characteristics stood out among families that were identified as being strong. Now every family in a sense is strong in some way, but these were families that stood out among all others as being the strongest of all the families. They studied and researched over an extended period of time. Here they are. Number one, the habits of expressing appreciation, approval, affirmation, praise and encouragement was regularly expressed in these families. In other words, there was a vital characteristic of appreciation and affirmation and approval for each other. In other words, family members knew that they were part of a unit that was loved and appreciated and valued and they were going to hang together.
Speaker 1:
3:30
They're gonna stick together. That was one characteristic of a strong family. Here's the second one. Time spent together as a family and as various combinations of family members was a regular event in strong families. You know, it's important to build pleasant events and just schedule activities together, but strong families did this regularly. They spent time together as a family and in various combinations of the unit. The kids spent time together, the parents spend time together. Father spend time with the kids and mothers spend time with the kids and on so on, but time spent together as a family in the various combinations of the family was a regular event that occurred frequently and occurred regularly. In other words, everybody in that family knew that they belonged to a family unit because that unit function together unit played together. That unit sang together, prayed together. That unit went to church together.
Speaker 1:
4:30
That unit went to events together and plays into movies and to sporting events and all kinds of things together as a family, there was a strong family bond and when the family bonds together, individuals within the family bond with each other. Here's the third characteristic of a strong family. Good communication patterns. Strong families have good communication patterns. Now what this includes, it of course is being assertive. The encouragement to allow family members to assert themselves, to express themselves, to unfold their own thinking, their own feelings for each other and towards each other and together hear each other and speak to each other and communicate with each other and have this open communication pattern within the family and assertive, outgoing, clear, expressive family members. Okay. That was very important. Now here's the fourth one. Cultivate patterns of commitment. That's what they did. They cultivated patterns of commitment.
Speaker 1:
5:42
You know, this included commitments to each other as family members and to the responsibilities undertaken. There was a commitment, you didn't, your responsibilities, you fulfilled your responsibilities, but you also made a commitment to each other that you'd support each other and care for each other and out for each other and defend each other and protect each other and encourage each other and support each other and help each other become strong and become well appreciated it as individuals. Okay. A commitment within the family, but they also had commitments outside the family. If they made a commitment, they honored it, made a promise, they fulfilled it. There was a plan in place, they implemented it. Okay. Promises were kept. In other words, that's what good, strong families do. They make promises, but they keep their promises. Okay. Here's the fifth characteristic of a strong family. Religious and spiritual values within the home are lived out daily.
Speaker 1:
6:40
In other words, there was a devoted family talk time on issues that have moral implications, ethical implications, religious values and practices. They developed a lifestyle, but he's family develop a lifestyle consistent with their beliefs and their values. In other words, what they did on Sunday, they did throughout the week, how they talk on Sunday. They talk throughout the week, how they cared on Sunday. They cared throughout the week. There was a consistency here. It was a moral value that prevailed throughout the weekend in all things they did. The family of held each other's morals, how help held each other's value system. They supported each other. They encourage each other. They talked about moral issues around the table and here's a six characteristic of a strong family crises. We're dealt with positively and proportionately. In other words, strong families look for the good that can be learned from a crisis.
Speaker 1:
7:40
And then to use it to build the strong family memberships members and the relationships within the family crisis. We're not something that were ignored or a disregarded or played down crisis. We're dealt with that dealt with positively. So it get come out of a crisis. Having learned something come out of a gracious, having experienced something good, having come out of a crisis, being stronger individually and as a family. In other words, crisis, we're not welcome particularity, but when they came they dealt with them rather than tried to deny them or overlook them or walk away from them. So families can be strong and then they're strong in a variety of ways with these are the six characteristics of strong families found in his research study conducted at university, a Oklahoma State University. In other words, strong families just don't happen. Strong families are built. You learn to be a strong family, you learn the characteristics and you implement those characteristics. And as a result of that, he'd become a strong family.
Speaker 1:
8:51
So there are changes that will take place. Obviously within a family Jordan and get married. They have friends that come and go, but you know what? Strong families remain committed. They remain one, they remain a total commitment to each other. Whether adversity happens or marriage happens or a crisis comes into the life of someone or disappointment or failure or hurt or whatever it might be. Strong families face these kinds of situations together and make the best out of them and come out stronger than they were even before. So you can be a strong family. Just start by talking, sit down and talk together, discuss how you can become a stronger family. How are you going to implement these six characteristics? Or maybe I came from in a two or three of them, but maybe need implant two or three more. Or maybe out of those six there's a one that particularly you need to work on, talk about it.
Speaker 1:
9:55
They'll have a plan. See how you can incorporate that particular characteristic into your family. I see your family can become stronger and maybe that's the concept you have to think about. It isn't necessarily just being a strong family, but being a stronger family than you were yesterday and you were last week or last month. And these are the six characters you'd just need to talk about, identify and then look at ways in which you can implement one of these characteristics or two of these characteristics in your daily life as a family and as individuals who belonged to a family. So there you are. I'm glad you're able to, uh, think about ways in which you and your family can be stronger as you look forward to the weeks and months ahead of you. Strong families have fun. It's young families or enjoyable, strong families. Enjoy each other. Strong families laugh. Strong families cried together. Strong families just build up each other. Strong families are there for each other. Is that you? I hope so. Bye for now.