Tim Dumas on The Impact Hiring a Coach Can Make On Your Life

Episode Summary:
In this episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, Tim Dumas talks about how coaching has impacted his life both personally and professionally. 

5 Key Takeaways:

1. Tim gives advice for listeners who might be trying to find their right coach.
2. He talks about how he started his business in the coaching industry.
3. Tim provides advice for aspiring life coaches. 
4. He shares how the aspect of community in forums is helpful for personal development.
5. He goes in-depth about how he manages his time effectively.

About Tim: Tim Dumas is a Certified Coach, Speaker & Trainer with the John Maxwell Team, a Certified Facilitator and Trainer with the Extreme Leadership Institute, a Partner and Consultant with Virtuous Leadership LLC, a Forum Chair with MacKay CEO Forums and a Partner & COO with JAK’s Beer Wine & Spirits. When Tim is not coaching in the board room, he can be found coaching soccer and football with South Delta United and the South Delta Rams; respectively. Tim and his wife, Stephanie, reside in Tsawwassen, BC; just outside of Vancouver with their six children.

Quotes From the Episode:

“You can’t give what you don’t have.” - Tim Dumas

“I will be coached for the rest of my days on Earth.” - Tim Dumas

“I only go in (to an interaction) with the question, ‘How can I add value to you and your network’” - Tim Dumas

“If you have a business meeting and you don’t have a DJ, you have a problem.” - Tim Dumas

Guest Resources Mentioned:

Mackay CEO Forums: https://mackayceoforums.com/

John Maxwell Group: johncmaxwellgroup.com/timdumas/About

The Traveler’s Summit: https://andyandrews.com/product/the-travelers-summit/

Love is Just Damn Good Business: https://www.stevefarber.com/books/love-is-just-damn-good-business/

Steve Farber’s Podcast https://www.stevefarber.com/podcast/

Jon Gordon’s Podcast https://positiveuniversity.com/

Jesse Cole’s Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/business-done-differently-with-jesse-cole/id1285008205

Tim’s Website: https://www.servusleadership.com/pages/about

Tim’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/dumastim

Tim’s Linkedin: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/servusleadership

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hey leader, and welcome to episode number 310 of the L three leadership podcast, where we are obsessed with helping you grow to your maximum potential and to maximize the impact of your leadership. My name is Doug Smith and I am your host and today's episode is brought to you by my friends at barong advisors. If you're new to, to the podcast. Welcome. I'm so glad that you're here. And I hope that you'll enjoy our content and become a subscriber, know that you can also watch all of our episodes over on our YouTube channel as well. So make sure you're subscribed there. And if you've been listening to us for a while and the podcast has made an impact on your life, it would mean the world. To me. If you would leave us a rating and review on apple podcast or Spotify or whatever app you listen to podcast through, that really does to reach more leaders. So thank you in advance for that. Well, in today's episode of the podcast, you'll hear my conversation with my good friend, Tim duas. Tim is actually someone who reached out to me a few years ago. He had listened to the podcast and he wanted me to come in and speak to his organization. And so I was able to do that. And through that connection, we've become great friends and he's become a coach and a, and a friend and a mentor in my life. And he's added asset value to my life over the last three years. And so I thought we have to have him on the podcast, add value to you. And so let me tell you a little bit about Tim. Tim's the president of service leadership. He's also a forum chair for McKay CEO forums, a board member with the virtuous leadership Institute of north America. And he's a partner and the CEO of his family business, Jack's beer, wine, and spirits. He's also a coach, a teacher and a speaker. And I would just tell you that he's phenomenal at all, three of those and everything they do does he also has six kids. And so you'll hear us talk about family as well. But in the interview, we talk a lot about coaching. Uh, Tim coaches, people he also has been coached. And so, uh, if you've ever wanted to get a, a professional coach in your life, you're gonna love this episode. If you are a coach, you're gonna love this episode. We also talk about speaking and networking and business. And obviously I take'em through the lightning round as well. So he is gonna add massive value to your life. So get ready for that. But before we dive in just a few announcements, this episode of the L three leadership podcast is sponsored by Barung advisors, the financial advisors at Barung advisors, help educate and empower clients to make informed financial decisions. You can find out how Barung advisors can help you develop a customized financial plan for your financial future by visiting their website@barungadvisors.com. That's B E R a T U N G, advisors.com, securities and investment products and services offered through LPL financial member, FINRA, and S I P C Bartung advisors, LPL financial L three leadership are separate entities. I also wanna thank our sponsor. He jewelers they're a jeweler and by my friend and mentor John Heney and my wife, Laura, and I got our engagement and wedding rings at he, and we just loved our experience. Not only do they have great jewelry, but they also invest in people. In fact, for every couple that comes in and gets engaged, they give them a book to help them prepare for their marriage. And we just love that. So if we, your need of a good jeweler check out, he jewelers.com. And with all that being said, here's my conversation with Tim DUIs. Well, Hey Tim, it's such an honor to finally get to do this. I know we've been talking about this probably for years at this point. Um, but it's been a joy to watch your leadership journey over the past few years. And I can't wait to introduce you to our whole L three community. And the, the first thing I really wanna dive into with you is just to talk about coaching. Um, you do a lot of professional coaching yourself, but you've also been impacted by coaching. Can you talk about the, the, the coaching has had on you before we get into how you impact others?

Speaker 2: 3:22

You bet Doug, uh, you know, I wish that I knew about coaching earlier in my, in my leadership journey or earlier in, in my career. I, I, I got into leadership and, and started managing in, in the business world, uh, about 18 years ago now. And at that time, when I got in into business, I was told Tim, put your head down and work as hard as you possibly can. And good things will happen. And certainly working hard is part of it, but I never came up to breathe for pretty much the better part of a decade. And if I would've only come up to breathe and seen the world of coaching more intentional about the people I met and more intentional about the things that I did, I would've grown so much, uh, so much earlier that being said every part of life and every failure is a journey on the, on the path to success. And I was so lucky to have met, uh, a great coach and brought a coach into my company in my life almost seven years ago now. And it was game changing, both in my business life and in my personal life.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Yeah. Can you talk about specifically how that impacted you? You know, what was, what was the investment? Were you hesitant? And then, you know, how long did it take to make an impact? Tell me that journey.

Speaker 2: 4:36

Yeah, absolutely. I was hesitant, you know, I had been brought up by bosses by people that I've worked with saying, why do you need to go outside of your company to learn something like you got all you need here. You have mentors here. You have a boss, you have other mentors that you can, that you can learn from. Why would you need to go outside? And people ask me this all the time. Now they say, Tim, why should I hire you as a coach? If you don't have any expertise in my industry? And the answer to that is, is I'm an even better coach outside of my industry than I am inside because inside my industry, the things that I know really well, I have at least the tiniest bit of bias into things that I know have worked. And haven't worked when I work of people and coach people outside of my industry, I ask better questions to help them bring their version of success outside of themselves. And so that's really the value of coaching. One of the greatest coaching sessions I ever had with my coach, and this was my aha moment was we were working through some, both business and personal and, and I would call them mastery, uh, aspects of my calendar. And he said, Tim, what are the most important things in your life? And I said, it's simple. Uh, my Faith's the most important thing in my life. My family's the second most important. And then after that, it's, uh, it's my profession, my career. And he said, great, can you open your calendar for me? I said, yeah, I opened my calendar. He said, can you show me on your calendar where, uh, where you're taking care of your faith, your relationship with God, Doug, I am embarrassed to tell you there was not one thing on my calendar. Her that helped me get closer to God. Wow. And he said, okay, Tim, uh, at least show me your what's, uh, the things on your calendar with respect to your family. Doug, once again, there was things like coach soccer practice and, and things that I had to be at. But I realized that day that both God and my family, or getting the scraps of my life, I would put in work meetings because those are the things I had to be at. Those were people that are pulling at my strings for me to, uh, be at certain places. But I realized that the most important things in my life were getting the scraps. And so that day I've been on a journey since that day to reinvigorate my calendar, to put the most important things first. And, um, and that's a journey that I'm currently on with respect to coaching.

Speaker 1: 7:05

Yeah. And have you continued to invest in coaching in your life and in business?

Speaker 2: 7:09

Yeah. You can't, you can't give what you don't have. So, you know, I would argue that everyone in the world needs, needs some kind of coach, right. You know, leadership, as you know, O takes, takes three types, right. We can train someone by telling them what to do. We can mentor them by drawing our past experience, or we can coach them by asking the questions to help them draw that out of themselves. And, you know, what's funny when we get into either a tough spot or just a spot in everyday life, we get into habits and many of our habits are really, and help us get to the next level. But some of our habits, we don't realize that they're, they're blocking us from getting to where we want to be, um, in, in our version of success. And really that's what coaching is. Coaching is asking those questions to say, why are you doing that? How is that helping you get to what your goals and dreams are? So, uh, I, I anticipate that all I will be coached for, uh, the rest of my days on this earth. And, and I hope that I get to coach people for the rest of my days on this earth.

Speaker 1: 8:09

Yeah. So we talked about the importance of coaching, and I'm just curious, you know, it seems like we live a culture and a world where there's literally millions of life coaches. I feel like all you have to do is put on a life coach on your, you know, its Instagram profile and your life coach that's, that's all it takes. And so while I agree that everyone needs coaching, talk to us about finding the right coach, you know, how do you actually, it seems like similar to the therapist, there's so many, you can just get overwhelmed by the amount of choices and how do you know who can actually help and who can't. Do you have any advice for, for people who want to get coach just don't know where to look.

Speaker 2: 8:39

Yeah. I, I, I think it's important just like anything to, to meet people. And, and there's two, uh, two parts of coaching that one would look for when they're, when they're looking to find a coach number one, uh, there has to be some kind of connection and, um, and, and shared experience and shared goals to get, to get to where they want to be. So for example, for me, I work best with people who, uh, are business executives and entrepreneurs that are intimate they're intimate goals are to become not only a great executive, not only to become a great entrepreneur, but to, they become a great person, uh, to become a great person for their family, husband, wife, brother, sister, father, mother, et cetera, et cetera. And if that person has those types of goals and dreams, uh, that would be an ideal person that I would get to work with. So, first of all, somewhat you connect with, um, on that type of level. The second thing would be, as I mentioned before, is, is sometimes it's really good to get somebody outside of your industry that can ask different, more poignant questions. So those are two, uh, things that might sound somewhat contradictory, but if you're able to find somebody in each of those categories, that might be the perfect, uh, coach for you.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Yeah. And I wanna talk, there's also, you know, we're on a leadership podcast, there's lots of people who probably are life coaches or would like to be a life coach. Let's talk about that, that side of the business. What have you learned about becoming a coach and what would you tell people who want to become one?

Speaker 2: 10:14

Well, number one, uh, I, I think a lot about Dr. Ivan Meissen, the founder of BNI, and he recently wrote a book called who's in your room and really for people that want to become a life coach and want to become anything for that matter, start hanging out with other people that are doing that thing. One of the biggest catapults, the CATA me into coaching in, in my career is, is, uh, just over three years ago. Um, I joined an organization that you're familiar with called McKay CEO forums. It's similar to, uh, an organization called Vista. We do professional development, mastermind groups for business, uh, owners and executives. And what I found with that is I got to hang out with other great coaches that were in my organization and almost by osmosis, just by hanging out with those people, you start to learn things, right. Just like if you wanna be a great, uh, basketball player, you're gonna go to the place where other basketball players go. Um, so going a mastermind group, finding, uh, a networking group of people that are where you want to be, or are going where you want to be, uh, is the number one thing that those people can do to become a life coach or, or whatever their goal is.

Speaker 1: 11:33

Yeah. How important was it? You know, one thing I admire about you is you also, you're not just a, a coach, but you also, you know, lead at your business. You're the, the chief operating officer at your wine spirit store. How important is it that you actually have experience, you know, in leadership or in, in life, really, to be able to add value to people? Have you found that to be useful or a requirement, or can people just with no experience, just go and coach.

Speaker 2: 11:57

Yeah. If there's one thing I've learned, Doug is it is to never say never, however, um, having experience in anything is always valuable. There's some people that have, have reached out to me and said, Tim, uh, I'm just gaining in my career. I want to be, want to be a coach. And, uh, while I think that that's outstanding and I think they can certainly do that. There are some aspects that may be valuable in living through that as a business executive, as a business owner first, before, uh, coaching through it, it's helped me give me a perspective to really understand the failures and how the failures can lead me to successes. You know, uh, 18 years ago when I first got into a, a management role, I, would've never dreamed of the types of failures I would've had. Um, but I realize also that those failures all set me up for the path to where I am today. So certainly having many of those experiences is invaluable. It's not, um, it's not a hundred percent a prerequisite, but it's also extremely valuable.

Speaker 1: 13:04

Yeah. And also with coaching, you know, we talked about one, it's an investment. So I, I wanna talk about pricing and then charging from both ends of the spectrum. So one on the, the paying for coaching parts, you know, if someone reaches out to a coach they're U it's usually, well can seem like an overwhelming price to someone. What would you say to someone who, who would just say, I don't know if it would be worth the investment of whatever the price the coach is charging?

Speaker 2: 13:27

Well, uh, first of all, it's, it's do it and, uh, and see, uh, go have a complimentary session with the coach. I offer this to, uh, to, to people that, that I meet. They're like, Tim, I just dunno, how will it be valuable? Well, there's, there's one way to find out and that's to start going through sessions. And I know how incredibly valuable that is. So I know those PE those people will find value in that number one. But then number two, one of the first questions that I would at ask in a coaching session is after a quarter, three months from now, what does success look like? And then we're gonna work towards that with everything that we got. So identifying that right away, if your investment is X, what do you need to see? So I also know what their goals are and what, you know, maybe there's a revenue target they're shooting towards, maybe there's a new job they're shooting towards. So then that's, that's what we're going to focus on for that, that quarter. So I would encourage you if you're looking for coaching and not sure if that investor was right for you, certainly I'd be more than happy to, uh, to give you your first complimentary session. And I would argue that probably that many other coaches would as well.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Yeah. And then on the, the business of, of coaching as well, what have you learned about charging and, and, you know, setting your prices as a business owner?

Speaker 2: 14:47

Yes. Setting your price. That's probably the biggest question that, that everybody has not only getting into coaching, but getting into any business, what should the price be? So what I found to be valuable, and, and certainly earlier in my coaching career was certainly being in that room with other coaches, uh, helps, helps to understand that right. Asking other people what, what they're charging for. But secondly, I always had in my mind what my rate is, and also, um, what I was, what I was willing to, um, what I was willing to work for. And so at the beginning, I would always set my rate at the same level, but, um, I would be willing to do it for a little bit less at the beginning because I needed to get, I needed to start, you know, cutting my teeth in the coaching industry. So people who are just getting into it, I would recommend, um, to look for clients that even are maybe even free or very low paid initially, knowing that always set your value though, always say, my value is this, my price is this, but because of who you are, I'm willing to, to do it for a, for a lesser price, um, and always having that in your repertoire. So for me, for example, I always have about three people that I'm coaching pro bono. Sometimes it ends up being, uh, an extra one sometimes, uh, one less. But I always look to give back to those people because there were people that gave back to me at the beginning. So one of the aspects of coaching is always, always give back. And then that is going to help you cut your chops too, to get to the next level and to be where you're actually coaching all the time for the, uh, for, for the, for the investment that you desire.

Speaker 1: 16:28

And I, I just outta curiosity, you know, have you found, what have you found to be a good cadence for a coaching relationship once a month, twice a month, once a week? Uh, what works for people?

Speaker 2: 16:39

Yeah, I've seen anywhere from once a week to, to once a month, but the best cadence that I've seen is the, uh, is the biweekly every second week. So the majority of people that I coach, um, this is what it looks like. It looks like 45 minute session every second week with a, um, with a quarter day session every quarter. So that's the big strategic planning setting goals for the quarter. And usually that lasts about, um, about two hours. So that seems to be a great rhythm. The other thing about coaching that some people for at about is they charge by the, you know, by the session. Um, I charge by the quarter, um, if you're to work with me, you can work month weekly, monthly, biweekly, you know, 80% of the people work biweekly, but you also have access anytime you need it during that quarter as well. So we'll have officials sessions biweekly, but when you need me, you send me a text, you gimme a call, uh, you say, Hey, Tim, do you have, do you have 15 minutes today? Or tomorrow? Can we have a quick, um, can we have a quick session on this issue I wanna work through? And so once we get into the coaching process, uh, I'm all in for you to achieve your goals and dreams and, and you are as well.

Speaker 1: 17:56

Anything else you would throw out there about coaching before we move on to a, another topic?

Speaker 2: 18:01

There is so much, there's so much Doug about coaching. I would just say it doesn't matter your state in life, whether you, you think you're in a position of leadership or not, uh, whether you think you're in a, in a business that that requires coaching or not, uh, I don't know anyone that wouldn't receive value from, from coaching. So if you're on the fence about it, um, you know, certainly reach out to me or reach out to a coach to, uh, to at investigate that, to see the difference that can make in your life, cuz in my life it's been one of the great game changers in my life.

Speaker 1: 18:36

Yeah. I wanna talk about mastermind groups as well. You talked about you lead the McKay forums. It's, it's the same principle of just who's in your room. Who are you getting together with on a consistent basis? Uh, can you, you talked a little bit about this earlier, but can you just talk about the, the, and we talked about one-on-one coaching, but why is it also important that you have a community, uh, of leaders that you surround yourself with on a consistent basis to do life with and to hold you accountable? What have, what have you seen in your experience?

Speaker 2: 19:02

Yeah, the certainly in the McKay forums, in my experience, and, and I know, um, with your L three leadership forums, uh, your mastermind groups, Doug, it's very, very much the same thing when you're surrounding yourself with people that have similar goals, dreams, uh, values, uh, have similar definitions of success, uh, you end up sharing ideas. And the one thing we get into in our everyday lives, we're highly scheduled. We go to work, we get the job done. And sometimes we don't take a step back to think, how can we do this better? And how can we actually get to that ultimate goal or dream both in our organization and personally, and what these mastermind groups do is it takes you out of your head out of your regular daily life for a day, a half a day or a quarter a day, depending what type of you're in and helps you look at the bigger picture. It helps you a mastermind group generally has people from all different industries. And one of the greatest things I've learned is from industries. I never thought that I could learn from, you know, somebody who does things completely differently. And I start thinking about why don't I, you that, that way in my business. And when we start thinking creatively like that, that's when great things happen. And that's where we get to the next level. It's really stepping back to grow.

Speaker 1: 20:22

Yeah. And you know, and, and your experience leading these, you know, my favorite thing about mastermind groups is the stories right. Of, of people coming in and they wonder to accomplish X and then, you know, something else completely different happens, but changes their life forever. And you hear that story. I'm just curious. What, what patterns have you seen in, in life change once people actually put themselves in a group like this?

Speaker 2: 20:42

Well, it's amazing cuz you talked about stories, Doug. Yeah. And uh, in McKay we talk about the term shared experience. So when we get into a, um, a mastermind session, uh, a group session, we work really hard not to give advice, but we share experiences. And when we have, you know, approximately a dozen people in the room, when somebody comes with an issue, challenge or opportunity in their life or in their business, there's almost certainly somebody that has shared a similar opportunity. And when they, when we share stories and we share experiences, we learn from that. And the other great thing from that is we're not telling somebody what to do. They're taking all that in and they're making that decision for themselves on, on what I should do based upon that story or what I shouldn't do based upon that story. And that's where the real, um, the real growth happens because we then bring that into not just our conscious mind, but our subconscious mind. And then we actually put that into practice and we actually process it differently rather than somebody just telling me, Tim, if you wanna be successful at business or life, you should do this. Well, my brain doesn't actually process that. I just move like a robot and do that when I get into mastermind sessions and I hear stories, it helps me process that and make that decision for myself. And that's when I truly learn. And that's why the there's so many great learnings from mastermind sessions. If there's one thing that I've seen that has been the greatest learning for master it's one that almost every leader struggles with and it's what they would call time management. Or I might call time mastery, everybody, or so many people struggle with their time. And when we share experiences of how we, uh, we schedule our time, how we utilize our time, great things is really happen. And when we get in with a, when we get in a mastermind group with people who are going through the same thing we realize we're not alone, cuz often as an executive in an, in a, in a business we're, we're somewhat alone, right? We might be the CEO and there might not be other people that we can, that we can lean on in a mastermind group. You can be vulnerable and, and, and you can, uh, and that's where really great growth can come and creativity when you're vulnerable with that group and share those issues to share those experiences.

Speaker 1: 23:00

Yeah. I couldn't agree more. And speaking of time, mastery, I do want to dive into this a little bit. Uh, I, I, I didn't know that story about your coaching, you know, Hey, where is your face on calendar? Where's your family on your calendar? Um, but one thing I've been impressed by in knowing you for as long as I have is one, you have six kids. So if I didn't say that in the, the bio, Tim has six kids and he's the chief operating officer at his wine store and he's doing mastermind or McKay forum groups and he's coaching and he's doing public speaking. What have you learned about managing your time? You know, you say every executive manages it. What, what do we need to know? What are your best tips?

Speaker 2: 23:36

Well, that was certainly the first tip is, think about what's the most important first and block out your calendar that way. And, and that was, that was, that was game changing for me where I could actually block out, um, middle of the afternoon to pick my kids up from school once a week or to drop them off at school once a week. And, um, I was lucky off on my calendar that I could then work, work different hours at different times, but that really, um, brought to my life a level of, um, satisfaction of, of really what I wanted to do. Number one. And number two, what I didn't realize before is sometimes people think, and, and I thought if I overschedule my life, it'll just, it'll be kind of like a cross that I have to bear. It won't be, um, it won't be invigorating. But what I found is when I know in my calendar that I have a break at 11:00 AM to go you exercise. I look forward to that when I didn't schedule, well, I often wouldn't get exercise or there was other things in my life that would fall to the wayside be because I wasn't highly scheduled. When I know at 11:00 AM, I have a break and that's my break to get some exercise or else not doing it that day, I get more effective at the other things I do in my life. It also forces me to be more effective in the short time I have for all of my other tasks. So what the ironic thing is, you know, there's, there's the mantra that says, if you want to get something done, ask a busy person. And there there's a reason for that is because they have no choice, but to get those things done at those times, and they become highly effective at utilizing some of the small time that they have

Speaker 1: 25:16

And with, with managing your family. You know, I think another thing that, you know, people who are leaders struggle with if, especially if they have families is work life balance and you know, trying to keep their family and, and lead their family while, while also leading well at work, you know, with six kids, what have you learned about leading your family? Well, so miss, miss out on your family while you're pursuing all these other things,

Speaker 2: 25:37

You bet, you know, it's, it's continually work in process, but there was, uh, one quarter where I was working with my coach, uh, uh, a couple of years ago. And I said, coach, I wanna be a better husband. And father's core. I really wanna focus on that. My coach said, great, Tim. And there was a pause. We both said nothing back. He goes, Tim, what are you gonna do? I said, well, I'm gonna try to be a better husband and father. He goes, no, Tim, what are you going to do? And I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. He said, Tim, at the end of the quarter, how are you gonna know if you're better or worse? If you've succeeded. Cause every day of your life, you are going to get better or worse at your chosen craft. As a husband, father, brother, mother, sister, cousin, colleague, et cetera, et cetera. And if you don't make that choice to every morning, and if you don't make that choice of understanding completely what you need to do, it's, you might as well go buy lottery tickets, cuz your chances are better of winning the lottery than becoming that better husband or father that you want to do. So we brainstorm for a while and we came up with this. We said, well, you know what? I know I will get closer to being the husband and father. I want if I make sure with the six kids and my wife, that I have one on one time with them at least one time this quarter and that's seven times. So that's, you know, almost almost one a week. And if you could imagine in a group of, you know, with six kids driving a hockey, this and football practice and soccer practice and, and dance, dance lessons, there's not always that much time. But what I found was I found ways to spend that one-on-one time that I never would've thought before it was driving one of our kids home from when I, we had one-on-one time from soccer and just stopping to get some ice cream. It, it was, um, this just happened this weekend where I have, uh, two boys who are, uh, who are 14 and 13 and they like going to the gym to work out they're they play high school football now. And they said, Hey dad, we're going to the gym to work out. And I thought this would be a good opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with them. So I put my shorts on it. T-shirt on, I went to the gym with him. Uh, Doug, I'm not quite as strong as I used to be. I came

Speaker 1: 27:50

Home better shape than you. Yeah,

Speaker 2: 27:53

I came. So they were impressed when I got to the gym like, oh, dad's doing some squats and power cleans. This is awesome. Problem was, I got home and my wife looks at me. She goes, what's wrong with you? You're limping around the house. I got, well, I haven't done power clean so well I did them to show the boys how to do it. And uh, and I'm kind of sore. She said, uh, I have no sympathy for you, um, after doing that. But it, but what that had was we now have that little time of connection and it was, it was only because I was continually looking for ways that I could spend one on one time or in this case, you know, me with the two of them and just get to hang out and talk about anything. Right. And that's certainly, um, uh, taken me to become a better husband and father. And it's helped me to continue to look for ways to be that better husband and father

Speaker 1: 28:47

Such good advice. I love that. Um, before we go into the lightning round, you know, the other area that you do that we didn't talk much about was public speaking. Um, and I also wanna talk to you about networking. So if I forget remind me, but, um, public speaking. So you also speak, and I, I know a lot of people listen to this podcast, aspire to be, you know, speaker, et cetera. What have you learned about the speaking business? What do we need to know?

Speaker 2: 29:10

Well, it's similar to the coaching, uh, business. And as far as, um, I started becoming a better speaker when I got a speaking coach. So, um, as I was, uh, you know, I was talking to you earlier today, um, this quarter I'm doing, uh, 14 speaking gigs. So a little bit more than, than one a month. And I meet with my speaking coach, uh, once a month. And we go through some of the se some of the speeches that I'm going to give that that quarter. And what I realized was I really wasn't, I was preparing for them, but I really didn't have that professional, um, that professional expertise that my speaking coach can now give me. So, uh, anytime, um, as we talked about with coaching, someone wants to be, uh, to, to grow to the next level and any profession hang out with people have done it. So I started hanging out with other speakers and I got a speaking coach. And if there's any two pieces of advice that she gave me in becoming a great speaker, it was these two things in every speech utilize stories as much as humanly possible. And even in our, in our, uh, in our chat today, Doug, uh, we've tried to talk about stories because people remember stories. There's a reason why we tell our children stories. They remember what they hear in stories. Number one, and number two, to always focus on you, focus language and by you, I mean, you being the audience, what, um, what are they, what are they needing and what will impact? It's not about me. It's what will impact them. So those are the greatest tips on, uh, on getting out there and speaking. And if you'd like, I'll jump into that networking part because that's really how I get speaking gigs. I have a goal with my coach to meet five new people a week. So on average, one person per weekday, and there's some quarters I get close, but every quarter I'm in that somewhere between 40 and 60 new people. And it's simply by reaching out and Doug, I learned a lot of this from you. And I'm very grateful, um, to our relat that we've had, cuz you've rubbed off a lot on me. And it's just asking people, saying, I know when two great people get together, great things happen. And I have no idea what's gonna happen here. Maybe I I'll be the right coach for you. Maybe you'll like me to speak. Maybe there's some way that you can impact me or other people in my network, but I've never met a bad, uh, bad connection. And I have a little quote. I, it relates to networking. Doug. I hope I can read it quickly. As I love from book, let's go, okay, here we go. Throw a book called the power of mag anonymity by Alex Havard. And he's speaking about Pope John Paul II, and he said this, he needed something personal from everyone. He met. He looked at people with such interest in hope as if to say, what wonderful things will you help me discover today? And what will you give me? And so when I think about Pope John Paul II, one of the greatest, uh, not just spiritual leaders, greatest leaders, um, of, of his time, he went into every interaction saying, what can I learn from them? And normally I would think I'd learn something from him. He wouldn't learn something from me, but if we go into every interaction with that, we can't help. But to learn something I learned this about eight years ago, when I got a call from a business contact I had and said, Tim, I want you to meet this person. I think she'll be game changing in your business. And in your life, this person happened to be an artist. She painted pictures. She, uh, she made greeting cards and sold them. And I said, I really appreciate the connection, but I'm not in the greeting card business. I don't, I'm not really an arts. Uh, I don't really put a lot of art on my walls. Why would you ever think that this would be a good connection? And he shook his head and he said, Tim, when you go into every interaction, realize you can learn something great from every person. It doesn't matter who that person is. You will get what you're looking for. And I went into that interaction. This person has become one of the greatest connectors that I'd ever met. And I learned so much from this person, someone who I originally because of my, my own, uh, I would say at the time dumb ego that I didn't think I could learn from. But when I went in with an open mind, I've gone into every interaction with that since then, I've learned and had great connections with so many people.

Speaker 1: 33:40

So good when, when you're networking and I'm even just thinking through this. So, you know, you also have the courage to, to ask. So, um, you know, when we talk about speaking, we'll just you speaking gigs as an example, um, do you just cold reach out to people and say, Hey, I saw you run events. Can I speak at your events? Like, what is your strategy there? And was that hard for you to, to have the courage to do that? I'm just curious what that process looks like.

Speaker 2: 34:07

Well, yes, number one, it's always, always hard to have the courage, but once you get, once you get in the habit of it, um, it, it becomes second nature, right? And, um, the, the thought that really changed things for me was, uh, I don't have, have a relationship with this person today. If they don't want to meet me, I'm not gonna have a relationship with them tomorrow, either. So I'm neither any further ahead nor behind from what I was today, but there's a small chance that person's gonna reach out and something amazing is going to happen. So I got nothing to lose if when I first, when you, and first reached out to each other, Doug, and if you didn't get back to me, I had nothing to lose. I didn't know you before that. And I wouldn't know you after, but when you and I met something amazing happened. And, and, and we've had a, an amazing relationship since I've learned so much from that. That's the first part. The second part is I try to never go into an interaction, uh, trying to sell something. I only go in with the question of how can I add value to you, uh, or people in your network. Do you know anyone that I should know? And is there any way I can add value to you? And that may be paid. That may be unpaid. But when we come from that perspective of service, people wanna work with people that they, that are willing to serve them. And I'm not even thinking about a, uh, a gig at that time, a business relationship, in some cases that happens in some cases, it doesn't, but I know when I come from a place of service and always adding value first and showing love and care, uh, to that person initially, that's the type of person generally they wanna work with. And it normally works out well.

Speaker 1: 35:52

Oh, and this, and this is so huge, Tim. And you're, you're the perfect example, cuz personally I get, I, I literally get emails every single day of people saying, I wanna be on the podcast or you need to have this. And literally I just had delete like, I, it actually irritates me when people think they can just like reach out and just anyway, it just drives me crazy in general, I wanna be the person inviting who I won on, but with you, you instantly, I don't even remember what the initial contact point was. I actually think you may have had me speak for you, but you, you reached out to me, you added value to my life. And I, I think we've met three or four times. And you know, because of you, we have our executive assistant Ashley. Who's unbelievable. I know she's your EA as well. Thank you, Ashley. If you're listening to this, you're amazing. Um, but you had me speak to your organization and then, and then eventually there was an as of, Hey, and you didn't even ask the B on the bucket, you just said, Hey, if, if there's editor of an you for you to be on the podcast or do anything to conservative community, let me know. And here we are today recording the podcast. And so I'm absolutely with you and it's absolutely huge to add value to people before you ever hope to, to sell anything. So thank you for sharing that with us.

Speaker 2: 36:51

Yeah. I think we forget about the end game sometimes Doug, and we think that, you know, it's, it, it's a long game, right? Um, you and I have known each other for, uh, more than three years now. Right? Right. And, and I didn't come into the relationship saying, Hey, I want to be on the podcast. Or, you know, I want you for this. Or you want me for that? We just came saying, there's we think there's two great people in this room. And great things happen when great people meet. And if that's ever valuable for you, for me to be on the podcast. And, and you've come to speak to a few groups, uh, with my McKay group and, uh, and my leadership group at Jack SP wine and spirits. So, uh, hopefully I've added some value to you cuz I know you've added a ton of value to me.

Speaker 1: 37:28

Yeah. Well, anything else you wanna talk to leaders about before we dive into the, the famous lightning round?

Speaker 2: 37:34

Well, I I'll leave you with this. You know, what's really funny, Doug is, is when we talk about leadership, everyone knows about what we're talking about. But when I ask people to define leadership, they struggle to completely understand and how to define it. And so I went on this journey trying to find the greatest definition of leadership and I, I went and I looked in MI Webster dictionary in line, right? Like a good kid of the eighties. You go look in the dictionary. You know what the definition of leadership is in the dictionary. It's the act of being a leader. And if I ever defined that on my grade three spelling test on what the definition of the word was, I would fail. How does the de dictionary define something by the root of that word? That's a side note. So I went on this journey and it wasn't until a few years ago, I, I just quoted his book where I met a gentleman named Alex Havard. And, and I asked him that question. I said, I'm on, I'm in search of the greatest definition of leadership. And he said, Tim, I think I might have it for you. And I said, great, what is it? He said, it's the word ity. And when he said it, I thought he was speaking enough different language. I had no idea. I couldn't even say I was like Magna, what? He said, ity. He said, magnet, the definition and the root of ity is, is for generosity. But he said, I would define it in the leadership sense of the, as this, the spirit of striving for greatness by bringing out the greatness in others.

Speaker 1: 39:04

Mm come on.

Speaker 2: 39:06

And I've never heard, uh, leadership define that way because Le in leadership, you have to focus on others, but unless you're striving for that and putting your oxygen mask on first, um, you cannot help bring that to others. You can't give what you don't have. So that was the definition, the spirit of striving for greatness by bringing out the greatness of others that really, uh, helped me to understand what my mission in life was and how to lead people.

Speaker 1: 39:36

Well, listeners, you just heard it here. First. The world's greatest definition of leadership by Tim DUIs. Thank you so much, man. That's awesome. So let's dive into the lightning round, a bunch of fun questions. I love to ask leaders. And the first one is what is the best advice you've ever received and who gave it to you?

Speaker 2: 39:51

What's the best advice ever received? Um, if I can turn that just quickly, I'll give you the question I was ever, uh, asked. And that was by Nancy McKay, the founder of McKay CEO forums. She asked me, she said, Tim, uh, if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you achieve? And I'd never heard that question asked before, I'd a, I've heard it asked, what are your goals? What would you like to achieve? But I'd never heard the question. If you knew you couldn't fail. That was the greatest question would ask. And it turned into the best advice because I started dreaming audaciously. I started saying things like, well, if I know I couldn't fail, I would write a book. If I knew I couldn't fail, I would meet Doug Smith. I would, you know, I would do all these things. Right. And so that was the greatest question slash piece of advice I ever had.

Speaker 1: 40:37

If you could put a quote on a billboard for everyone to read, what would it say?

Speaker 2: 40:40

Love, audacious love, uh, sorry, love unconditionally, serve generously dream audaciously and grow purposefully. So once again, love unconditionally serve generously dream audaciously to grow purposefully

Speaker 1: 40:57

Best purchase in the last year for a hundred dollars or less

Speaker 2: 41:01

Best purchase. Uh, you know, a couple I've purchased some books by Andy Andrews in the last year. And, and I know, uh, you're somewhat familiar with him. He has a great book called the noticer and another book called the, the, uh, the traveler summit and then the traveler summit. He has probably the greatest leadership poem that I've ever, um, ever read and he calls it the personal declaration. So if, uh, if you're ever able, if anyone listening's ever able to purchase that book, the travelers summit by Andy Andrews look up his personal declaration poem.

Speaker 1: 41:36

Yeah. It may be the same answer, but I see a huge bookshelf behind you. Do you have a, a favorite book or two that's made an impact on your life or that you give away? Most often?

Speaker 2: 41:43

Yeah, I I've certainly mentioned some of them, uh, some of them today, but the other one we haven't mentioned is, uh, is one by Steve Farber called love is just good, but business and, um, that really, you know, we talked about that quote, I would say. And that the, the first part of that is love unconditionally. And in the workplace, we generally shy away from the word love, because if I were to say to you, Doug, or if I was say to anyone else in the workplace, I love you generally, I'm getting a call from HR within 30 seconds saying there's a problem with Tim. However, um, the Harvard, Harvard business review said that when people feel they're cared about in an organization, they, uh, they do 90% better. They achieve 90% more, which is shocking. Yeah. It's not shocking to anybody. So, but why are we so afraid to say, we're gonna love care and support the people beside us, not in a, um, you know, in a, in a brother sister way in a way that I got your back in, would that not be the kind of organization you wanna be in? And, uh, and that was a great thing taught to me by Steve Farber. Who's now a mentor of mine who wrote the book. Love is just in good business.

Speaker 1: 42:55

Yeah. I don't know if this is original to me, but I'll take credit for it. Uh, in my, so work, it's become more of an inside joke, but I'll tell my team. I love them. But like, and then I put in parentheses in a coworker kind of way. So I'm hoping that saves me for many HR issues, but, uh, they all know they're loved in a coworker kind of way. That's been helpful. Uh,

Speaker 2: 43:12

The other way you can do it, Doug is, is, is even look at CS. Lewis' four loves, right? And he talks about Felia love, which is love between cousins, brothers, sister, friends. Um, and he talks about a gape love, which is that unconditional love, which is, is completely different than what we think of when we think of love. We think of arrow. So they, the Greek word erotic love, and that's completely not what it is. Uh, if we showed up with that unconditional gape love with everybody, we meet in our organization or outside, imagine what type of world and what kind of organization we would live and work in.

Speaker 1: 43:45

You're going deep. Tim, this is awesome. I know you listened to podcasts. You have a favorite, two or three podcast that you chair.

Speaker 2: 43:54

Uh, I just listened to the L three leadership. Doug, none, others. Um, just thank you. Thank you. Seriously.

Speaker 1: 44:01

One subscriber comes from yeah.

Speaker 2: 44:02

Uh, one, one of the reasons that you and I met was I had a guy, um, who I work with show up one day and we would pass off leadership books and podcasts. He goes, Tim, you gotta listen to this guy, Doug Smith. And that's how I originally met you. So, uh, certainly that one other ones that you and I have talked about, that, that I've listened to, that, that I find really valuable is the John Gordon podcast is incredibly valuable. Steve Farber's love is just good, uh, business podcast. Some many of these people you've had on your podcast, uh, Jesse Cole from the Savannah bananas, yes, he found a way to make work fun. And that was also a game changer in my life. If you ever come to a meeting with me, there's always something fun. You never know what's gonna happen. That happens whether it's, you know, a chocolate on your seat, whether it's, uh, you a lay ready to put around your head, whether it's a DJ in the room, whether it's a pinata that we pull up, maybe we, we do a karaoke dance off in the middle of the session. And so always finding ways to make things fun. Cuz guess what happens when people have fun at work or in a meeting, people are more creative and do better work, which is not talking yet. We all walk into business meetings with our head down, like we're walking into a funeral or a morgue, get our coffee, sit down, listen to the CFO, talk about finance and go back to sleep. But what would happen if it was someplace we wanted to be, we were going to have fun. There was gonna be a disco dance off in the middle of the session. Uh, you know, when we cut the CFO off and say, great, you're halfway through your session. We're gonna do, we're gonna say, don't stop believing by journey. Well, everybody gets up. All of a sudden, they start listening to CFO after cuz they're awake again. So those are some of the types of things. And so that's another great podcast and, and that's a great learning I've had to from Jesse Cole.

Speaker 1: 45:52

I can't wait to see my team's face in our next meeting when I say, all right, we're gonna break out into disco dance. Let's go.

Speaker 2: 45:58

Awesome. I'll send you the name of our DJ. Doug. If you have a business meeting, let's go and you don't have a DJ. Uh, there's a problem

Speaker 1: 46:06

I'm jealous already. Um, what's your biggest leadership pet peeve?

Speaker 2: 46:10

My biggest leadership pet peeve. It's um, giving advice before asking questions, uh, people often jump in and, uh, and jump in and try and solve a problem before, uh, asking questions to help you bring that at yourself. And that's really the coaching process.

Speaker 1: 46:30

What's something you've crossed off your bucket listed. You believe everyone should experience in their lifetime.

Speaker 2: 46:38

Wow. That's a, uh, that's a good one. Uh, being on the L three leadership podcast is certainly one, but, um, my biggest bucket list that I'm working on right now is, um, is originally three years ago, was to take my family to Disney. And we did that three years ago. And our next goal for our family vacation is next summer to go to Portugal, um, to take all our kids to, uh, world youth day, uh, where the Pope comes and there's a big celebration of close to a million, uh, youth. And, um, and, and that's one of my goals and dreams in life that hopefully I'm about to cross off my bucket list.

Speaker 1: 47:18

Yeah. And I don't often answer my own lightning round questions, but Tim, you live in Vancouver, which my wife and I had the privilege of, of visiting a few years ago. That is a bucket list city to, I would live there in a heartbeat. Uh, and I would just say it's on our bucket list to bring our kids there at some point and, and take them up to Whistler and do the whole thing we did. It was just, we love the city you live in. So let's go Canada,

Speaker 2: 47:38

Doug, uh, will you have a host here when, as soon as you come to Vancouver and you have six and your kids have six kids to play with.

Speaker 1: 47:46

Awesome man. Awesome. Uh, as we wrap up, let's see if you could go back and have coffee with 20 year old, Tim, what would you tell him?

Speaker 2: 47:54

Uh, I would tell, we talked about this at the beginning is, uh, pull your head up from the sand and get outside of your business, get outside your life, connect with as many great people as possible and, you know, join a mastermind group and receive coaching. The one thing I realized in university getting a, getting a business degree is we never talked about networking with people. We never talked about learning from others and you know, continuous learning. I got outta university and, and I think I, I burned all of my textbooks. I'm like, I'm outta here. I'm never gonna read a book again. Right. If only I realized that like two years later, I'd be like, you know, reading a few books a month, right. So, um, if I could give any 20 year old and certainly 20 year old Tim, any advice it's to surround yourself with those great people in, uh, in a mastermind group and in a coaching, uh, relationship

Speaker 1: 48:45

And on the other end of your life, when you get to end, what do you wanna be remembered for?

Speaker 2: 48:50

I wanna be remembered by that quote, somebody that, uh, that loved unconditionally served, generously dreamed audaciously and grew purposefully. I wanna be remembered as a, as, as a, as a man of God that, um, helped his family to, uh, strengthen their relationship with God and helped, uh, their friends to do the same and was a positive influence on everyone that he met.

Speaker 1: 49:15

Anything else you wanna leave leaders with today?

Speaker 2: 49:18

Doug I'll I'll, I'll leave you with, uh, with that great quote of ity, uh, strive for greatness by bringing out the greatness in others and in every interaction that you have, think about what can I learn from that person and how can I add value to them? And that's what leadership true leadership is.

Speaker 1: 49:38

Well, Tim, thank you so much. We've talked about, you've added value to me since the, the day we met and you added value to me today and everyone's listened to this podcast as well. So thank you for, for living by that definition. Appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 49:49

Thank you, Doug. It's such a pleasure. I, I value your relationship and, uh, and I'm blessed to have you in my life.

Speaker 1: 49:55

Likewise. Well, Hey leader, thank you so much for listening to my conversation with Tim. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did, you can find ways to connect with him and links to everything that we discussed in the show notes@lthreeleadership.org slash three 10, and leader is always, if you wanna 10 extra growth this year, the, and I really wanna challenge you to either launch or join an L three leadership mastermind group. Mastermind groups have been the greatest source of growth in my life over the last seven years. And if you're unfamiliar with what they are, there's simply groups of six to 12 leaders that meet together for a consistent basis for at least one year in order to help each other grow, hold each other accountable and to do life together. So if you're interested in learning more about masterminds, go to L three leadership.org/masterminds. And as always, I like to end with a quote and I'll quote, Rick Warren today. He said this, this was so good. He said, leadership is not about numbers or goals or programs or achievements. Leadership is about out love. If you genuinely love people, they'll follow you. So good, Rick, thank you. Well, leader, I hope this episode added value to your life. Keep leading. Don't quit. The world needs your leadership. Lauren. I love you. We believe in you and we'll talk to you next episode.