In this episode of the L3 Leadership podcast, you’ll hear Doug share a lesson entitled, “Life at 36.” Each year, around his birthday, Doug spends some time reflecting on where he is and what he’s learning at that age and then he shares his takeaways with you. Regardless of your ages, we’d encourage you to do the same exercise. Remember, the best experience isn’t experience, it’s evaluated experience.
ABOUT DOUG SMITH:
Doug is the Director of Development at Light of Life Rescue Mission and Founder and CEO of L3 Leadership. He is the author of his eBook, “Making the Most of Mentoring”, a step by step guide to help you build and cultivate relationships with mentors. He is the host of the L3 Leadership podcast and he is a sought after public speaker.
He is married to his high school sweetheart, Laura, who currently works as the Head of Manufacturing at Ivalua. Together, they love family, personal growth, travel, working out, and serving others.
CONNECT WITH DOUG:
Key Take-Aways From Episode 278:
In the episode, Doug shares 8 key insights into what he’s learning at 36. Here are the lessons he shares in this episode:
LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE 276:
Today Matters by John Maxwell
In this episode of the L3 Leadership podcast, you’ll hear Doug share a lesson entitled, “Life at 36.” Each year, around his birthday, Doug spends some time reflecting on where he is and what he’s learning at that age and then he shares his takeaways with you. Regardless of your ages, we’d encourage you to do the same exercise. Remember, the best experience isn’t experience, it’s evaluated experience.
ABOUT DOUG SMITH:
Doug is the Director of Development at Light of Life Rescue Mission and Founder and CEO of L3 Leadership. He is the author of his eBook, “Making the Most of Mentoring”, a step by step guide to help you build and cultivate relationships with mentors. He is the host of the L3 Leadership podcast and he is a sought after public speaker.
He is married to his high school sweetheart, Laura, who currently works as the Head of Manufacturing at Ivalua. Together, they love family, personal growth, travel, working out, and serving others.
CONNECT WITH DOUG:
Key Take-Aways From Episode 278:
In the episode, Doug shares 8 key insights into what he’s learning at 36. Here are the lessons he shares in this episode:
LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE 276:
Today Matters by John Maxwell
Hey podcast fans, welcome to episode number 278 of the L three leadership podcast, where we're obsessed with helping you grow to your maximum potential and to maximize the impact of your leadership. My name is Doug Smith and I am your host. And today's episode is brought to you by my friends at bear tongue advisors. If you're new to the podcast, welcome, I am so glad that you're here and I hope that you enjoy our content and become a subscriber. And if you've been with us for a while, thank you so much for listening. And it would mean the world to me. If you would just make sure that you're subscribed and that you would share a rating and review on apple podcast or whatever app you listen to podcasts through, that really does help us grow our audience and reach more leaders. So thank you in advance for that in today's episode, you're going to hear me share a lesson called life at 36 and that's right. I just celebrated my 36th birthday and each year around my birthday, Alec recorded an episode sharing where I am in life and what I'm learning. And I believe this lesson is going to add a lot of value to your life. And I really want to encourage you to do something similar in your life. You know, when it comes around your birthday, really reflect on what's going on in your life, where are you? What are you learning? What are you aiming at? And I just think that'll be a great exercise for you to implement in your life. But before we get into the lesson, just a few announcements. This episode of the El three leadership podcast is sponsored by bear tongue advisors, the financial advisors at bear tongue advisors, help educate and empower clients to make informed financial decisions. You can find out how bear tongue advisors can help you develop a customized financial plan for your future by visiting their website@beartongueadvisors.com. That's B E R a T U N G, advisors.com, securities and investment products and services offered through Waddell and Reed, Inc member FINRA, and SIPC bear tongue advisors, Waddell and Reed and LTB leadership are separate entities. I also want to thank our sponsor Henny jewelers, their jewelry owned by my friend and mentor John Henney, and my wife, Laura and I got our engagement and wedding rings through Henny jewelers. And we just loved the experience. And not only do they have great jewelry, they also invest in people. And one of the things they do is they actually give a book to every couple that comes in to buy an engagement ring, to invest in their future marriage. And we just love that about them. So if you're in need of a good jeweler, check out Henny jewelers.com. And with all that being said, let's dive right into the lesson. Here's life at 36, Hey leader. Today, I'd like to talk to you on the subject life at 36. Yes. As I mentioned in the intro, I just turned 36 years old. I'm over the halfway point of my thirties, which is kind of crazy to think about. But every year I like to just take some time around my birthday and just reflect on where I am and what I'm learning in that year of my life. And, and then I share it with you. I like to share things I'm learning with you on a consistent basis. And so we can journey together, but I really wanna encourage you no matter what age you are listening to this, make this a habit in your life that, that annually around your birthday. You just take an assessment of where you are in life and take some time to journal about that. And I think it will be really beneficial for your life and leadership journey. So with that being said, let's dive right into the lesson. Here's where I am at 36 years old. Here's a few thoughts. Number one at 36, I am more grateful for life than I have ever been. And I'm going say that again. Cause I mean, it's so much, I am more grateful, 36 from my life than I have ever been. And many of you, if you've been following along on the podcast or my journey, I went through a very dark season last fall. And there were, there were days where I didn't know if I was going to make it to 36. And so when I tell you that I am grateful for every single day in everything that I experienced, I am here to tell you like that is not just something I'm just saying to sound nice. Like I am so grateful for my life. And, uh, and just some things about gratitude that I've learned in the past year. Uh, one, and I've been doing this for years, but um, I pray a prayer every morning and I pray with our kids. And at night when I go to bed and it's very simple and it's actually from Phil Robertson from duck dynasty, but he just starts in his prayer by saying, thank you God, for another day on planet earth. And I pray that every day with my kids. And I wanna encourage you. You should pray the same thing. It's an incredible prayer of gratitude. Just thank you, God that I have another day. Thank you. That I could see another sunrise. Thank you. That I have friendships that I can engage in. Thank you God that I have an opportunity today to make a difference. Thank you that I get to hug my daughters. Thank you. That for every snuggle I get to have with my son, thank you for every run for every workout. Lord, thank you for every experience, Lord, thank you for health that I can actually do what I want to do and need to do. Thank you for my mental health. I'll never take my mental health for granted leader. Are you grateful for your life? Literally? I don't know if I'll ever have a down day again, after the season that I just went through, I am so grateful for every experience and I, and I read this once in a life as good book, and this statement is so profound and it just said this. It said everything. Everything is a once in a lifetime experience. Everything is a once in a lifetime experience and leaders. What if we all saw the world that way? What if we all just woke up with that, that attitude of gratitude that I was just talking about? I think it would change all of our lives and it would change the world around us. And just some things that you can practice when it comes to gratitude. My wife, Laura and I use, uh, an app called the five minute journal and it's called the five minute journal because it only takes five minutes to do every day. But what I love about it is every day, it prompts you to list three things that you're grateful for. And so, you know what I do. I write I'm grateful for another day and I write the date there because I didn't know if I'd have another day. And so I'm just very, very grateful and I encourage you to get in the practice of writing daily, what you're thankful for. And another practice that I've been trying to up in my life is just thank you cards, just letting people know how grateful I am for them and their impact in my life. And, um, and that's been huge as well. So at 36, I'm more grateful for life than I've ever been. Number two at 36, I'm focused on leading my family team and I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because I actually recorded an entire episode called how we're leading our family teen team and episode number 276. So I would encourage you to go back and listen to that. If you're a parents, I think it'll add a lot of value to your life. Um, but I'll say this cause I didn't. I share this in the lesson about leading my family team. Jimmy Evans made the statement that I heard last year and it really just helped me focus on my family. He said, children are a temporary assignment. Children are a temporary assignment and I have a, five-year-old a three-year-old and a four month old right now. And I can't tell you how quickly my five-year-old turned five and I know I'm going to blink again. She'll be 10. I'll blink again. She'll be driving. I'll blink again. She'll be in college and then she'll be getting married. It's crazy how fast time goes. And so I think it's just, again, I want to encourage you at 36. If you have family, please focus on your family. Please go back and listen to that episode that I recorded. Please, don't spend your life giving your life to a job and neglect your family. I'm telling you at the end of your life, all that's going to matter is the relationships that you have and what you did for God, do not neglect your family. Focus all of your attention and energy on leading your family team. Number three at 36, God has given me something to say at 36, God is giving me something to say, and I've shared this a lot on the podcast. But, uh, when I turned 30, I did a decade review and I was reviewing all of my journals and all of my year-end reviews from my twenties. And I believe that in that time, God spoke to my heart something very clearly. He said, Doug, in your twenties, uh, I laid a foundation in your life for you to build your life on in your thirties. I'm going to give you something to say, and in your forties, I'm going to give you the platform to say it. And after living in my twenties, I can absolutely say that God gave me the foundation. And now that I'm over halfway through my thirties, I can promise you that God's giving me something to say, as I reflect on that process, I've realized that God's given me a lot to say about leadership. He's given me a lot to say about family. He's giving me a lot to say about friendship. He's currently giving me a lot to say about diversity. He's currently giving me a lot to say about mental health. He's given me a lot to say about addiction. He's given me a lot to say about homelessness. He's given me a lot to say about fundraising has given me a lot to say about money. And he's certainly given me a lot to say about personal growth. And so I really do feel like God is giving me a reservoir of things that at some point I'm going to speak about more often than I am now. And I believe in, I don't know what it'll look like God said in my forties, he'll give me a platform to say it. And so w what, what do I want to get across to you as a leader here, a prayer that I would encourage you to pray as God, what do you want the message of my life to be? What do you want the message of my life to be? And let him develop that? Because here's what I know about what God spoke to me. You know, he said he basically spoke about three decades of my life, my twenties, my thirties and forties, which technically could span a 30 year progression. That's a lot of time. My twenties was a lot of time building a foundation. I'm halfway through my thirties now over halfway through my thirties now. And he has spent a lot of time giving me something to say, and in my forties, again, I just wanna encourage you leaders be patient. We're always in such a hurry to have the platform we're in such a hurry to get where God wants us to go, just be patient and learn to live on God's clock. He knows what he's doing. He knows what you need to develop so that you're ready for whatever he has called for you in the next season of your life. Just be patient and develop. It'll make all the difference. Number four, at 36, I'm focused on listening and learning from others experiences. I mentioned in my thirties that I believe God was going to give me something to say with my life. And I've seen him do that through two different avenues. One is through my experiences and two is through listening to others. And then very specifically over the last year, it's been listening to others who are not like me. Now. I listened to a lot of Disney music cause I have toddlers and we listened to Disney hits on Spotify, on shuffle mode all the time. And oftentimes the song colors of the wind by Pocahontas comes on. And there's a great line in that song. I'm not going to sing it to you. I'll just share it with you. Pocahontas said that she said you think the only people who are people are people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things. You never knew. You never knew. And if there was ever a statement that our culture needed to embrace, it's that we just need to sit down and have a conversation with each other and listen, and learn each other's experiences and, and just be in relationship. And I've been spending a ton of time over the last year with people who aren't like me, people with different experiences, stories, viewpoints, and beliefs. And let me tell you this about that experience. One, I never had that experience before. I was never intentional about it too. It's been eye-opening, it's been refreshing. It's been challenging. It's been joyful. And to be honest with you, it's been heartbreaking. I would tell you that it's made me a better human it's made me more empathetic. It has shown me things about myself that I am not proud of, and that I need to change. It showed me how I can be a better leader. It showed me ways that I can make a difference that I never saw before. It's been huge. And God has been using people, books, and podcasts to transform my heart, hand my life. And for that, I'm very grateful and listen, I am far from perfect and I have an immense amount of growing left to do, but I can tell you this, that through these experiences that I've had in the past year, I'm committed to spending the rest of my life, learning from others who aren't like me, and then doing something with what I am learning. So leader, let me just ask you this. When was the last time you had a conversation with someone that wasn't like you, when was the last time you had a conversation with someone who believes the exact opposite of what you believe? When was the last time you asked someone what they've experienced and what they've gone through? When's the last time you asked someone what their story-wise when's the last time you asked why they believe what they believe? When's the last time you asked them what they wish you knew about their journey. When's the last time you asked someone how you could serve them? I believe if we'll all commit to making this a practice and a routine part of our lives, that the world will be a much better place, a lot less judgment and a whole lot more love guys. Let's go love people. Let's go love people at 36, I'm focused on listening and learning from others experiences. Number five at 36, I have the opportunity to live out my passion and my purpose daily. And I'm so grateful for this. You know, my life is basically broken into three different sections. Number one is the light of life. And I'm so grateful for this nonprofit that I work at. It's a nonprofit that serves the homeless men, women, and children of our city. And here's what I know about light of life. If we don't do what we're called to do, then there's men, women, and children who will go without food today. They will go without shelter. Today, they'll go without recovery. Today. They'll go without being educated today, they'll go without employment today and they'll go without the hope of Christ today. And that's unacceptable to me. And I'm just so grateful to work at an organization that provides all of those things on a daily basis. And it's really, we're at a really exciting time in our organization as well. We just built a brand new shelter, which is phenomenal. And we are about to break ground on a new building for a long-term residential program. And we're in the middle of a$22 million capital campaign. And we've already raised over$16 million towards that. We have 6 million ago, and it's just such an honor to be able to wake up every day and work for an organization that making a difference. And I'm so grateful for that. Another section of my life is L three leadership. Hey, you're listening to the L three leadership podcast and we are obsessed with helping leaders grow to their maximum potential and to maximize the impact of their leadership. And I love L three leadership. I love hearing people say, Hey, I love the podcast. It really has helped transform my life and my leadership journey. Thank you. I get so fired up about that. We have mastermind groups that have transformed lives in so many stories. We have a one day leadership conference. I love, love, love, adding value to leaders, and then my home life, right. I have a family and I've already talked about family team. I love our family team and leader. Here's my prayer for you. I pray that as you follow God in your life and leadership journey, that he'll allow you to have the opportunity to live out your passion and your purpose on a daily basis, because here's what I know when you get to wake up every day and do what energizes you. You never have to work a day in your life. And I pray that you'll find the same thing. Number six at 36, I'm more convinced than ever that consistency compounds. I'll say it again at 36, I'm more convinced than ever that consistency compounds. And I learned this at a fairly early age. When I, in 2003, I read a book called today, matters by John Maxwell. And he said this. He said, the secret of your success is always found in your daily agenda. It's the things you do daily that are going to cause you to be successful. And so I determined very early on to be consistent in a lot of areas of my life. Here's some examples I've been reading an hour more a day since I was 18 years old. That's literally half of my life. Now I've been listening to personal growth and leadership content for hours each day. For that same amount of time, Lauren I've been investing in our retirement accounts for 18 years. We've been reading to our girls every single day since they were born. We've been working out consistently, consistently and trying to eat clean for years. I've been producing content to add value to others. Since I was in my early twenties, I've been interviewing leaders like I do on the podcast for over 15 years. I've been podcasting for over nine years. Again, these are just things that I do on a consistent basis day in, day out, day in, day out. And here's, what's beautiful about the day in and day out. Eventually that consistency will compound and all the areas that I just mentioned in my life in many more areas, all of those daily disciplines are starting to compound and produce great returns in my life. And here's the great thing. I'm only 36. So leader, I want to really encourage you if you've never read the book today matters by John Maxwell. I encourage you to go back and listen to that, but, but what are the things that you need to start doing daily on a consistent basis to provide the compounding returns that you want 10, 15, 20 years from now, again, the secret of your success is always found in your daily agenda. And I'll end this portion of the lesson with the quote I always share from my high school football coach, I probably have shared this more than any other quote. He always says day to day intensity week to week consistency builds champions that says it right there day to day intensity week to week consistency be consistent. Number seven at 36, I'm focused on developing deep friendships at 36. I'm focused on developing deep friendships. And I've mentioned this in past podcasts, but I realized last fall when I was going through a dark season, that for years I'd been neglecting deep friendships for years, I was so focused on performance. So focused on getting things done, that I neglected all the deep relationships in my life. And this year, Laura and I just drew a line in the sand and said, no more. We are going to invest in deep friendships and never neglect them again. And the main driver for this is what I found out is I did an exercise with a coach that changed my life. And he said, Doug, you need to define the roles you want in your life. R O L E S. And he said, you need to decide for, he said, for me, I want to be a husband, a father, and a friend, that's it. And he said, so you have to decide what your roles are. And initially I said, well, yeah, I want the same thing. I want to be a husband, father, friend. And he said, yeah, Doug, but you're not living like that. That was a slap in the face. And I looked at my roles and the reality, how I was living my life was leader. First. I want to be a great leader. And that was far above all the other ones. Then I want to be a great husband. Then I want to be a great father. Then I want to be a great friend. And so over the last six months, I've reversed those. And so I want to, I do want to be a husband first. I do want to be a father. Second. I want to be a great friend third. And then I want to be a great leader. And in that order, and that's the difference in that order, husband, father, friend, leader. And I want my life to show that. And I believe it has been over the last six months. I'm very grateful. Don't neglect to deep friendships leaders because one day you're going to need those friendships. And if you don't have them, you're going to be in big trouble. Please, please invest in relationships. It makes all the difference. And the last lesson, number eight at 36, I'm more convinced than ever that living for God is all that matters. At 36. I'm more convinced than ever that living for God is all that matters. And Philippians three, eight, Paul said this. He said, what is more? I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ. And I, and I say this all the time, but I don't know how people do life with alcohol. You know, when I went through the darkest season of my life, this past fall, I D I could not have gotten through that without God I could not have done it. I could have not done it. God's given me purpose in my life. He's given me gifts. He's given me peace. He's given me mentors. He's given me strength, courage to overcome destructive things in my life. He's given me a community to do life with. He's given me grace, and he's given me his presence in my times of greatest need. He's given me everything. And I say this all the time, but you could live a thousand lives with your own plans and in your own strength that it would never compare to the one life that God has for you. And whether you're 36, 26 or 86, listening to this is God first in your life. And if he's not, don't wait another year for to learn this lesson. Because once you learn that God is all that matters. Everything else takes care of itself. Matthew six 33 it's my life verse says, if we will just seek God first and his kingdom, all of these things will be added unto me. He said, if you just put me first, everything else will take care of itself, but what do we spend most of our lives doing? We, we pursue everything else until we finally come to a point where we realize it's time to seek him. Stop wasting time leaders, just start focusing on God. Living for God is truly all that matters. And if you want to live a life of purpose of passion, if you want to make a difference in the world to render your life to God, it'll be the best decision that you ever make a leader. That's my life at 36 years old. I don't know how old you are. I'd love to hear what lessons you're learning at the age that you're at right now. Thanks for listening. I hope these lessons added value to your life and I'll be with
Speaker 2:You next episode. Have a great day.
Speaker 1:Well, Hey leader, thank you so much for listening to my lesson life at 36, I hope it added value to your life. And I really want to encourage you no matter what age you are, when it comes time for you to celebrate a birthday. I hope you take a little bit of time just to reflect on where you are in life and what you're learning. I think it'll really help you in your life from leadership journey. So make sure that you do that and you can find links to everything that I discussed in the show notes@lthreeleadership.org forward slash two 78 and leader, if you want to 10 X your growth this year, I really want to challenge you to either launch or join an L three leadership mastermind group. Mastermind groups have been the greatest source of growth in my life over the last six years. If you're unfamiliar with what they are, there are groups of six to 12 weeders that meet together for at least one year in order to help each other grow, achieve their goals and to do life together. So if you're interested in learning more about L three masterminds, go to L three leadership.org forward slash masterminds. And as always, if this episode added value to your life, it would mean the world to me. If you would just share your takeaways on social media or send it to a leader too, that you think it would add value to again, we want to reach more and more leaders through our podcast, and we can add value to leaders. And as always, I like to end every episode with a quote and I'll quote, Brian Houston, who said this recently, and I loved it. He said, stay, stay focused, stay faithful, stay unfindable stay planted, stay committed, stay strong and passionate, stay on course, stay and leader. I just want to encourage you. We all need to hear that message on a consistent basis. Life is going to tempt us. Our leadership journeys are going to attempt us to run, but oftentimes we need to stay. We need to stay grounded, stay the course leader. I hope that encourages you. And I hope you realize that Laura and I love you very much. And we believe in you go make a difference today and we will talk to you next steps.