The L3 Leadership Podcast with Doug Smith

The Top Lessons that I Learned in 2025 (Part 1)

• Doug Smith • Season 1 • Episode 441

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In this episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, Doug Smith kicks off part one of his annual reflection series, sharing the most significant lessons he learned in 2025 and how they’re shaping his leadership in 2026. Drawing from his year-end review process, Doug offers honest insights on health, family, leadership presence, fatherhood, faith, and the unseen weight leaders carry.

⏱️ Episode Breakdown

00:00 – Why Doug does a year-end review every year
02:00 – Lesson 1: Taking ownership of your health before it’s too late
05:00 – Lesson 2: Big families are a gift worth fighting for
08:30 – Lesson 3: Your presence as a leader matters more than you think
11:00 – Lesson 4: The lifelong impact of being an intentional parent
14:00 – Lesson 5: The tension between progress and preservation
16:00 – Lesson 6: One day you’ll become a king—but not for the reasons you think
18:30 – Lesson 7: Not every battle deserves your energy
21:00 – Lesson 8: Want more *for* people than you want *from* them
23:00 – Lesson 9: Being the voice of leadership, not just the position
24:00 – Lesson 10: Leading well when life isn’t fair

Resources Mentioned:

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Doug Smith :

01) Hey, leader, happy new year. hope your 2026 is off to a great start. Today I'm going to share part one of a two part series called the top lessons that I learned in 2025. I have a lot of lessons to share with you and I do this lesson every year. And basically what I do at the end of each year, I conduct a year end review and I basically take the last two weeks of each year and I go through all of my journals, my photos, all kinds of different documents. And I basically create an executive summary of the year that I just lived. And one of the sections that I focus on when I'm typing up my year in review is, is lessons learned. so as I'm extracting all of these things from all of these different resources, I'm putting in, okay, I learned this lesson, I learned this lesson, I learned this lesson. And so at the end, I have, you know, five pages full of lessons learned throughout the year. And then to create this lesson, I basically go through all of those and say, okay, out of all these lessons and all these things that I learned this year, like what are the most significant lessons? that I learned that could add value to people. And that's how I create this lesson. If you've never done a year end review, if you go back a few podcast episodes, I posted an episode called how to conduct a year end review. And I also provide a template and ebook for you to walk you through the process. I really encourage you to do that. It's not too late to do a 2025 year end review. So if you can take a few days and make sure that you do that process. And I would love to hear from you. After you do it, what are the top lessons that you learned in 2025. So that being said, let's dive right in here. The top lessons that I learned in 2025 part one lesson, number one, heart disease runs in my family, heart disease runs in my family. And you might say, that's the top lesson learned like, yeah, this was a significant lesson. And I'm actually doing an entire podcast episode on this coming up in February. So I'll do a deep dive there. And I've also written an article on it on sub stack. If you want to go check that out, we'll put a link to that in the show notes, but to give you basically a summary of this lesson. My dad had open heart surgery in June of 2025. And in conversations with him about that, he said, Doug, this runs in our family. And I said, what? He's like, yeah, I have had multiple brothers and sisters deal with this. My mom dealt with this. And I was like, wow, I'm 40 years old. That would have been great to know when I was like 20. And so it led me on this deep dive. And I said, OK, I need to look into this. I high risk for cardiovascular disease? And I ended up getting blood work through Dr. Mark Hyman called Function Health or through Function Health. really encourage you to check that out. Again, I'll include a link to that in the show notes. And I did this deep dive blood work and sure enough, there's a biomarker called lipoprotein. And lipoprotein basically, it's elevated, it means that you're a high risk for cardiovascular disease and I have that. so being aware of that changed a lot of things for me. I did a ton of research. I've changed a ton with my nutrition and my health and fitness. And I'm just so grateful that that I'm aware of that now. I'm not excited about it. It's not great to know that I'm a high cardiovascular risk. But when I was researching lipoprotein, because I didn't know what it was, it said most people who have elevated levels of lipoprotein don't know they do until they either have a heart attack or a stroke. Until they have a heart attack or stroke and I'm like, my gosh. And this is the lesson I want to share with you here is take control of your health. There's so many tools out there like Function Health now. that you can get a pretty good analysis of what your pre-existing conditions could be or what you're susceptible to. And so it can be scary to look. Like I didn't want to find out that I could potentially high risk, but you know what that's better than? Having a heart attack one day and not knowing that and not being able to actually do things that could have prevented it. And so I'm so glad that I know. And again, I'll do a whole podcast episode on this, but take control of your health, get blood work, get scans, and find out now so you can prevent things later. don't wait till it's too late, take control of your health leader. Lesson number two, big families are awesome. So have more kids, big families are awesome. So have big kids. So Lauren, I had our fifth child last January, little Luke Kennedy, he's been such a gift to us. But I'll just say this, like we were not expecting him when when Laura got pregnant with him, it was a huge shock to us. And to be honest with you, during the pregnancy, like we were anxious, like five kids, like, how are we going to do this? This is a lot more anticipating this. But when he came, now we refer to him not as a surprise, but as our miracle. And he has been such a joy to our family. And we can't imagine our family without him in it. And I'm so grateful that we had him. And you know, if you would have asked Laura and I if we ever wanted five kids when we first got married, we'd have laughed, you know, in our pre marital counseling, I think we said maybe two or three kids would be great. But as we've grown and developed, we got exposed to a ministry called family teams, who really expanded our vision of family. And so They talk a lot about having a multi generational family team on mission and how kids are a blessing. And if you multiply in the generation below you, more multiplies, and then they multiply, and you're all on mission trying to make a difference for the kingdom of God, then your family can make a huge, huge impact within three to five generations on the earth. And so we're like, hey, we don't have a lot of kids. And so that's been a huge blessing to us to be able to do that. And listen, I know there's a lot of people who struggle to be able to have children. or can't have children and man, Laura and I are praying for you and we're believing God that he will give you a child. But if you're able to have children, I really want to encourage you, if you're in that age group, man, consider having another kid, you know, I talked to people in their 60s all the time. And I always am interested, like, hey, if you can go back and do anything different, what would you do? And so many parents tell me that I wish we would have had one more kid. I wish we would have had one more kid, like we talked about it. But for whatever reason, maybe it was financial. or just the stress at the time, or we wanted more freedom at the time, we decided not to, but it would have been so much better if we would have just had one more kid, it would have been awesome. And I don't want to look back and think that. And so the questions I would encourage you to ask is one, I wouldn't encourage you more than anything, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. One, you need to pray about what size family God wants for you. And are you praying about that? God, do you want us to have more children? And see what God says. And then two, what do you want your dinner table to look like when you're in your 60s and 70s? You know, now that we have five children, I don't know if any of them will have kids or if they do. But if all of them have four five kids, like we could potentially have, you know, 20 to 25 grandchildren sitting around our table in the next 20 to 30 years. Like what a gift that would be. So you have to think long term and big picture. But we're just really, really blessed and grateful that, you know, God's enabled us to have a big family. And we'd encourage you if you're able to, to consider having a big family as well. Lesson number three. My presence matters more than I think. And so does yours. My presence matters more than you think. My presence matters more than I think. And so does yours. And this was a big lesson for me. You you always hear leaders talk about walking slowly through the halls. And I'm a highly relational leader. So this does come a little bit more natural to me. But the more I've grown in leadership and the higher position that I got, the more I realized the time that I give every single person makes a significant difference. And just being present with them checking in with them saying hello. You know, I went to I had the opportunity to go to Harrisburg ⁓ last year and meet with all these politicians and we were with lobbyists and I was talking to this one lobbyist and she said something that ⁓ that impacted me she said a politician told her once and I think I think she worked for George Bush. So I don't know if it was George Bush or someone but they said, Hey, today I'll interact with 100 people. And out of those hundred interactions, I probably won't remember one of them. But to the hundred people that are interacting with me, they're going to remember that interaction forever. And he wasn't saying that from like an arrogant or egotistical way. It's just the reality. Like when you get to meet the president or when you get to meet a leader, like you don't forget those things. And so that served as a reminder to me that like, Hey, you know, people are going to people care that you interact and connect and care about them. And this came up twice throughout the year for me. For my 40th birthday, we were going around and one of our teams was encouraging me just what they're grateful for. And this one girl said, Doug, you know, one thing that I really appreciate you is that no matter how busy you are, you always come over to my cube and say hello and ask how I'm doing. And man, that just means so much to me. And for me, I'm like, wow, I didn't think anything of that. I'm glad that impacts you. And then, you know, a few weeks later, I had another leader approach me and she came up to me and she said, Hey, yesterday when we were interacting at the conference, I just want you to know that like the whole time we were connecting, like I told my husband, like I haven't felt that scene and heard in a very long time. And I just want to just thank you for being present. And and again, it was just a reminder to me of like the interactions and the connections that I'm making matter. Give people your time leader, make time for them. I have a leader and a mentor who works for us at Light of Life right now. And and he said to me, Doug, he was an executive director in another organization. And he said, Every day I wouldn't schedule anything for the first hour to an hour and a half of my day. And I had a route that I would walk and I'd walk the same route every day and I'd go to every team and I talked to all of our clients and all of our staff and all of our guests and I'd say hello and I'd check in with them. And that has been an inspiration and an aspiration of mine. And I'm certainly not there yet, but our presence matters leaders. And so are you taking time to walk slowly through the hall? Are you taking time to connect with the people that you're serving? It makes a huge huge, huge impact. My presence matters more than I think and so does yours. Lesson number four, the impact I can have as a dad is unbelievable if I do it right. The impact I can make as a dad is unbelievable if I do it right. And I know this may seem obvious to dads, but I was really impacted by this. many of you know, if you've listened to me for a long time, John Maxwell was one of my heroes and I've been listening to John for 20 plus years. He's been probably the most influential voice in my life. especially early on. And I saw him speak at the Global Leadership Summit this year. And he was telling a story about his dad. And if you've ever listened to John, you know, he always said that he hit the jackpot ⁓ lottery when it came to parents, like his parents were unbelievable. And he often talks about all the lessons that he's learned from his dad. Well, he said a few years ago, my dad was dying and he was in the hospital. And John actually cleared the hospital room. So hey, nurses, everything, I just need some time with my dad. Like these are going to be my final moments with him. Like I need time. I'll come out when I come out. So everyone leaves the room, he shuts the door, and it's just him and his dad. And he said for five hours, for five hours, he gave a talk to his dad or shared with his dad 29 lessons that his dad taught him that have impacted his life enabled him to make the impact that he's making right now. And I just started crying when I heard that I can you imagine if you're a mom or dad, the joy that would bring that you that you're at the end of your life and on your deathbed. And one of the people that you cherish the most on the earth, your child is coming to you saying, mom, dad, thank you so much. Can I tell you the impact that you made on me? Can I tell you the lessons that I learned from your life, not just from what you taught me, but by what you modeled? ⁓ Man, that set a goal for me in my heart. Like that is my hope that when I'm on my deathbed, that my kids will surround me and say, dad, let me just tell you about the impact that you made. Let me tell you about the lessons that we learned through your life. Thank you so much for setting us up for the lives that we're living. Like I can't imagine anything. better. And so just remember, moms and dads, it can get so busy with everything going on all the activities. Just remember, the most important thing is to connect and develop with your kids because one day you will be on your deathbed. And and the impact that you made on your kids, that's an opportunity for them to share that with you. And so make sure that that moment is as special as it was for john and his dad. The impact you can make as a mom or dad is unbelievable if you do it right. Lesson number five, we must progress and conserve. We must progress and conserve. I don't talk about politics a lot ⁓ at all on the podcast, etc. But it is an area that I'm interested in. Obviously, we live in a very divided country politically. And a friend of mine encouraged me to watch this video. And the video was by Phil Vischer, who's the creator of Veggie Tales. And the video was called Why do black Christians vote Democrat and why do white Christians vote Republican? Very, very interesting video. At the end of the video, Phil made a comment. And it's it is just stuck with me in my head. He said, the Bible calls us to hold on to what is good conserve, while also working towards what is best progressing to conserve. We need to conserve and to progress and neither party lines up very well with that. And this has just been how I've been approaching, you know, politics actually wrote an entire sub stack article that you can you can read on this subject. But I just realized that we need both and we need to come together around the table and have real conversations, because there are things that we need to hold on to of our past. We don't just need to blow everything up. There's things that we've done that are very good that should carry on to the future. But there's also a lot of things that are not just and that need to be better and the need to make Earth look a lot more like heaven. And we need to progress those things. And so how do we do that together? And the only way we do that is if we start having conversations together around the table at dinners. And so who are you meeting with, leader, that doesn't think like you, that's on the opposite side of the aisle with you? Who are you meeting with and what are you learning from them and what are you guys doing together to actually make a difference? This is huge. We must progress and conserve and I'd really encourage you to check out that video and the article that I wrote. I'm not going to dive a lot on that, but I just love the thought and wanted to leave it with you. Number six, one day you'll become a king and it's not for what you think. One day you'll become a king and it's not for what you think. And for me, one of the most influential books that I read this year was Fathered by God by John Eldridge. And if you've never read any of John Eldridge's books, can't encourage you enough to do that. All of them are fantastic. He wrote another one that really impacted me this year called Experience Jesus, comma, really, really recommend that as well. But Fathered by God, it's primarily a book for men. So if you're a man listening to this, I'd really encourage you like buy this. This is a must read. And he walks through the seasons of manhood. And one of the seasons is King. And he basically says in the book, he said, in your 40s, you become a king. In other words, he said, you get to lead something significant. He said, but you become a king to become servant of all. You give your life away. And he said, you can tell how good a king is by whether or not the people they serve are flourishing. And this was really, really interesting to me. Again, I just turned 40 years old. ⁓ And you know, I'm in a significant leadership position now and I feel like I'll continue to be in significant positions in the future. And I feel like I'm just leaving the stages prior to kingship in the father book is warrior and then ⁓ lover. And so I feel like I'm in the end season of those stages and I'm getting ready for kingship. And you know, when he talked about kingship and getting ready to lead something significant, you know, when you're a young leader, I think you aspire to be a king, you want it, you're just Hey, I want to be the CEO. I want to be in the corner office. I want to lead. want to lead. want to lead. And that's the warrior stage. You're fighting. You're fighting. You're fighting. You're fighting all these battles in hopes that you keep getting promoted, promoted, promoted, so eventually you can become a king. But he said the interesting thing, which I just talked about, was kingship is something that should be ⁓ reverence, reverence, like a reverential fear of God, of like, God, I can't believe you potentially are going to trust me to lead something like this. I need you. And if there's any other way, if there's anything else I could do, let me do that. But if you're going to call me to do this, God, I need you. I need you. I'm not going to be able to do it in my own strength. I need you to equip me, embrace me, to be the King that you've called me to be. And that's really been my prayer of like, God, you were preparing me for that, whatever I step into leadership wise, would you just make sure that I'm equipped? Because what I loved is he said, you could tell how good a king is doing by whether or not the people are flourishing. And I know about you, but I want to be a king or a leader that the people flourish under. I want people's lives to be better because of what I was able to lead. And so that's my prayer. And so one day you'll become a king, but it's not for what you think. Becoming a king isn't about the corner office. It's not about having a great job title or making money or anything like that. It's all about serving people. You one of my favorite leadership quotes is Gerald Brooks. And he said, leadership is losing the right. Think about yourself. Leadership is losing the right to think about yourself. And it's actually true. The higher up you go, the less you can think about yourself and the person and all that. And it's all about making the organization better and the people that you serve better. So again, one day leader, you're going to lead something significant, but it's not for what you think and make sure that you handle that with a reverential fear and surrender that to God so he can use you in a significant way. Number seven, I believe not everything is a battle to be fought or won. Not everything is a battle to be fought or won. And this is another lesson from Fathered by God. And he said, when you start to get to the end of the warrior stage, again, when you're a warrior stage, it's usually from like your 20s to your mid 30s. Everything's a battle like you are fighting everything, you're doing everything you can to grow and develop. But eventually you get to a point when you're getting ready for kingship where you recognize that I don't have to fight every battle. And you need to be more selective about the battles that you fight. And I think that was just when I read that lesson, it impacted me so deeply is it was just a relief to me as someone who's been fighting, you know, and I have a tendency to want to perform and want to prove myself. I've shared before when I was going through a tough mental health season, a mentor of mine said, Doug, you know, when you were in your teenage years, you basically watched your mom die slowly over the course of, five, six, seven years, and you medicated your pain through drugs and alcohol. He goes, then you got saved, which is great. And you change your life around, but then you just started medicating through performance. And I think I spent so much of my warrior stage in my twenties and thirties, medicating pain through performance. And I think, you know, this book, when that really ministered to me in this section of, I don't have to do that anymore. Like I can be selective on what battles that I fight. I don't have to fight. I can just freely rest in who God called me to be and what he called me to to do and actually face the battles and take on the battles that he's calling me to. So not everything has to be a battle to be fought or won. And I think every leader needs to hear that. Lesson number eight, want more for people than you want from them. Want more for people than you want from them. And I heard my one of my heroes and spiritual fathers, John Nuzzo, interview a guy named Kevin Myers, who is the founding pastor of 12 stone church and He was telling the story of how his church grew and ended up growing to like thousands and thousands of people. But for a long time, it was very small and he was actually at a point where he was gonna quit. And he ended up spending some time with God and God dealt with his heart. And he said, he spoke to Kevin, he said, Kevin, I can't build the kind of church I want to through you for several reasons. But one of them is that you want more from people than you want for them. ⁓ You want more. from people than you want for them and it needs to be the opposite. And that statement has just stuck with me. Like in every interaction that I have, I never want to be a taker. I want to be a giver. I want to be a person who I want more. And I'm naturally wired like this, but like when I heard that statement, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Like God help me to live like that. Like help every, I hope everyone I interact with feels like that I want more for them than from them. And ⁓ it's such an awesome free way to live. You know, my mother-in-law always used to say that the secret to life is to give your life away. And that's so true. So give your life away leaders to people, make other people's lives better. Zig Ziglar said it best. said that you can get everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want first. So, so good leaders. So want more for people than you want from them. Number nine, you must be the voice of leadership, not just the position of leadership. You must be the voice of leadership, not just the position of leadership. And there's been many times in my leadership journey and even in the last year where I haven't spoken up when I should have. And usually it's because I don't believe what I'll say is actually going to make a difference. And so I get frustrated and I just get passive aggressive and I hold it in, which is not healthy at all. But several times throughout this year, I have people come to me and they're like, hey, I was in that meeting with you or I was expecting you to say something like we basically people were like, we're looking to you to speak up, like speak up, speak, we want to hear what you have to say. And leader when you're not the voice of leadership and you're just the position, someone else's voice is going to take leadership precedence in people's lives. And so I'm just really being challenged in my life that I need to speak up and speaking up and being a voice of leadership is a huge part of the leadership package that you signed up for. And so leaders just speak up. then lastly, last lesson I want to share with you in part one is you often have to lead when life's not fair. You often have to lead when life's not fair. And in August, I went to a conference with Pastor Joe Brooks, who's been one the most influential leaders in my life. If you've never heard of him, check out the Gerald Brooks leadership podcast. It's phenomenal. but he did a lesson called leading when life's not fair. And it was so, so, so good. And I'll just share some of the highlights, because I thought this was so good, but he started talking about Joseph's life in the Bible, and he said, 10 out of the 14 major events in Joseph's life were not fair, and they were not good. There was only four good things that happened to him. And he ended up saying in life and in leadership, oftentimes there's a lot more bad than there is good. But the reality is that's just the reality of leadership. You often have to lead when life and leadership is not fair. And so he listed some examples of things that can be unfair as a leader, you know, when people can talk, but you can't, you know, as a leader, you can't tell everyone everything. You can't give people all the context for why a decision was made and what happened here. Like you just can't talk, but people can. Like that's not always fair in leadership. He said, when you're fighting battles at home and you still have to show up and lead anyway. Again, we're all, we're all facing battles in our lives personally. And just remember that like the people that you lead and serve, like they all are going through personal things too. So just remember that. regardless of whether whatever you're going through, you still have to show up and lead. Number three, when people pretend to be expert at things, they've never done themselves. Number four, he said, when you do stuff and get no credit or number five, when you plan based on what others tell you only for them not to follow through. The reality is leadership's a contact sport and there's going to be a ton of things that come our way that aren't fair, that are tough, and they're going to be challenging leadership seasons. But the key is what do you do when life is not fair or leadership is not fair? And ultimately, he just said, you have to live for an audience of one. He said, it's just part of the reality. But we have to remember why we're leading and who who we're leading for. Why are we leading? We're leading because we want to make earth look a lot more like heaven. We're leading because we want to advance the kingdom of God. If you're a Christian leader, you're leading like, why are you leading? And who are you leading for? I'm leading for God. I'm not leading for other people. I'm leading because I want to advance his kingdom. And he said, at the end of the day, you just have to remember, if you get to the end of your journey and God smiles on you, and God says, well done, good and faithful servant, then that's it. Like that's all you need. Live and lead for an audience of one. Because if he smiles on you, all the unfairness will have been worth it. And so leaders, just a great reminder that you're going to lead in life and leadership won't be fair, but that's okay. It's part of the package that you signed up for. Just keep leading for God. I say it all the time and I end every episode with the quote, but don't quit. Keep leading. The world desperately needs your leadership. So that's gonna wrap up part one of the top lessons that I learned in 2025. I hope these added value to you. If you don't follow the podcast already, make sure you hit the follow button. If this added value to your life and you can think of leaders that would add value to you, make sure that you share it with them. And I'll be back next week with part two of the top lessons that I learned. Hope you have a great week. See ya.

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Doug Smith

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