She's Still Not Doing So Well

In this uproarious episode of the Not Well podcast, hosts Bobby and Jim are celebrating their mind-blowing 200th episode milestone, and they can't believe they made it this far. These two laugh-out-loud funny individuals have been on an absolute tear, recording episodes even in the most outlandish situations like a nuclear holocaust or acid rain. Now, that's some serious dedication!

Jim and Bobby dive headfirst into the giggles with their eccentric banter about breast milk (trust us, it's a long story) and sibling preferences (we all have our top picks, right?). They also spill the beans on hilarious anecdotes about their drinking habits and how they handle those dreaded hangovers. When it comes to combating the morning-after blues, mimosas during brunch are their secret weapon. Because, really, who can resist the enchanting fusion of bubbly champagne and tangy orange juice?

The hosts get real about relationships, stressing the importance of staying true to oneself while being the ultimate cheerleader for your partner. They play a side-splitting voicemail from a listener grappling with the single life after a long-term relationship. Their witty advice includes personal growth, making new buddies, and even pondering therapy as a way to navigate solo living.

 Jim tells us about how he hit up various bars, including an electrifying drag king show, and boy, do they have some knee-slapping observations to share. From critiquing jaw-dropping performances to discussing mind-boggling makeup choices, their sharp-witted commentary leaves no stone unturned.

Trey table upright, Bobby is about to take you on a hilarious adventure through his travel mishaps. Get ready for seat upgrades gone awry (middle seats, anyone?), encounters with talkative Uber drivers who love cranking up the volume and indulging in lengthy phone conversations. It's a rollercoaster of comedic moments and travel-related blunders that'll have you in stitches.

In Atlanta, the fun keeps rolling as Jim reunites with their mom and savors a delectable Pub Sub sandwich that's beyond words. They regale us with tales of their outrageous exploits with family and friends, hitting up bars and unleashing their inner party animals. From sassy encounters to captivating conversations, their time in Atlanta is an absolute riot.

Finally, Jim and Bobby spill their secrets for surviving the aftermath of a wild night, with mimosas reigning supreme. They also tantalize us with the idea of a Labor Day trip and the intriguing concept of gay campgrounds. Who knew camping could be such a barrel of laughs?

As the episode comes to a close, Bobby shares a hysterical observation about pilots owning up to less-than-stellar landings, and they delve into their fascination with tracking planes on flight maps. 

Massive thank you to out incredible listeners!!! We love you

Transcript

 She's Still Not Doing So Well

She's Still Not Doing So Well

[00:00:00] the podcast that is unhinged and un. You loved this with a side. I love this too, junior honor. Ah, now here they are, Bobby and his butts. Oh,

[00:00:14] why did I like this so much? You loved it. I think you were high when you found it. She's not doing so well. Hi, I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. Jim's the main bud here. Oh, I, I can't listen. No, keep going. I gotta hear Best bud. Best bud. And like I said, this is, she's not doing so well. I'm horrified. Like I said, podcast as you know.

[00:00:35] Cause you download a podcast as you know, like I said, platform. Is this an official podcast? It's official. It's actually official Now. Is this episode one though? Yeah. Well not, oh, I thought this was one 50 still. I was like, I was like, oh God no. I was like, that was only 50 ago. No, this is episode one. Okay.

[00:00:51] She's not doing so well. This one, she's not doing so well. Send you questions and get advice. [00:01:00] Really Mouse with new topics every week. It's everything. L G B T. She's not doing so well.

[00:01:08] She's not doing so well. Welcome to She's not doing so well. The podcast that is unhinged and unfiltered. Good. With a song. Why don't we had a theme song and the theme music. Cut. Cut it. Cut, cut. Cut it. Cut. I wanted, I want to butter them up. Theme song. Theme music. Yeah. 

[00:01:26] Welcome. She's not doing so well. Yes. Podcast it her featuring Bobby. I don't wanna be viral. I want to be inspirational and life changing because listen, I'm edgy.

[00:01:40] You fuck Jim at the top. What can I say? Finally, he's just like, you can unfollow me if you don't like my body. The miss. Oh my God. Tell me all about it. I'm in New York. Right, but you like a mushroom sheep.

[00:01:59] Miss is [00:02:00] looking out into this. Oh my god, that's not it. I swear there was a party. This is our New York city just laying here. That wasn't it. There was another one too, like right before we left. Yeah. Oh my God. Um, this is incredible.

[00:02:13] Yeah. Why? Crazy, loud and wavy coming fast with us. And baby, if you not welcome and laugh with us, Jim and Bobby. The midst. So sad. Ain't no talent. Not really. Jim new. Hello, witty. Making worse. Spin Bob chief and while he waiting on the world and good for the last giving, not care when you see him, then there might just be some drama there.

[00:02:40] Lot of flair come right with the team. We live. Okay. Just like me. Okay, so that's enough of the intros. That's incredible. We've had a lot of intros. It's kind of weird when you look back on like, because I think the, well, let me just introduce ourselves now. Hello everybody.

[00:02:53] Welcome to episode number 200 of Not Well podcast. I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. And I can't believe we're here. [00:03:00] Like literally. Yes. I mean, did you ever think 200? No. No, I didn't. And also, can I just say though, you did. We're really well. We're blessed. No, but the, the, what the fuck are you trying to say? So fucking blessed.

[00:03:15] No, no, but we're like consistent as fuck. Like, I hate to break it to everybody, but like, we are really fucking dedicated because I don't think we missed like a couple weeks here or there in the last Oh, that's it. Yeah. So I be a nuclear holocaust outside of, and I'm like, are we gonna record? He's like, oh God.

[00:03:30] I'm like, please. I know there's a nuclear rain happening or what is it called? I don't even know. What is that when Acid rain. Yeah. Isn't that what that is? Acid rain? I don't know. Drink your juice. Shelby. I got my vodka from yesterday. Um, I love you have Dale old vodka, just like it's fine. Ready to go. It's a little lemonade, little lavender's giant.

[00:03:49] This is actually contain Sarah's breastfeeding bottle from the trip. She used to put her breast milk in her and, and now I use it as So That's smart. It's really good. And now [00:04:00] I use it as Mommy's milk, a vodka. It's all medicine for the life. Is that what Sarah's breast milk tastes like? Um, vodka. Yeah.

[00:04:07] Yeah. Straight up vodka. Um, no, I just had a weird, like, nevermind, I'm not even going there. Like, what would your breast milk taste like? No, I think a lot of people have wondered, I've wondered what it tastes like. Is it sweetened? I think it's a little sour. I don't think it's like buttermilk. Mm. Yeah. Like I think he's a little sour twinge because some babies like buttermilk.

[00:04:26] My brother really liked the buttermilk. I can tell your brother liked that buttermilk cuz Ooh, he's thick. He is thick. I'm, he's a, I'm surprised like nobody's in here cause time. Literally I had at least 12. So well keep drinking honey, cuz maybe the dreams will come true. Maybe on episode 400 we'll get, maybe we'll get, we'll get 10 people to come in.

[00:04:46] I, I didn't really advertise very well. You episode 400, you're over 40. Everyone's just like, oh no. They're like, well, I thought you would've retired by now from life. Don't. Right. Here's another theme song and another fucking, another five theme song, Jimmy. I'm [00:05:00] like, oh, I just love the drama. I really do. You do like drama.

[00:05:04] I don't know if you've ever watched in my videos, my drone videos or anything. I love the drama. Love. Yeah. You like dramatic music. Love the music. I set tone and honestly, you are dramatic in real life and I'm dramatic. Yeah. So I, I like to use my drum ads. Um, for this, I don't even know. No, this is not, he's high as hell.

[00:05:22] Well, it wouldn't be a, an episode of not me being high. Well, and this episode 200, you should be really high. And I and in classic form you're also drinking. Yeah. At some point they're gonna be like, well, um, we're taking it back to our ribs, like, is his liver okay? Actually, I don't really drink that much.

[00:05:36] You don't. Here and on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Monday. If it's a holiday, well, I mean Tuesday if it's recording, I only drink like weekends and holidays and Friday's considered weekends. Um, for me it's a victory. If I haven't had wine in two days, I'm like, I haven't had wine since Sunday.

[00:05:56] And it's like Wednesday or Thursday, it's like, oh no, that's [00:06:00] Monday, Tuesday. That's the only two days I didn't drink. Not to get too far into this, but do you ever feel like, um, you have a problem? No. But like when you don't drink for a couple days in a row, then you start feeling better. Yes. Okay. No, that's just okay.

[00:06:13] If I go to bed and it's like, I didn't drink that night, I do sleep better. Same. Like I fall asleep quicker after drinking, but I never feel better the next day. Resting like resting wise. Yeah, like resting bitch face wise. Wow. You're such a C word. Um, so yeah, thank you for coming back and back and back and back.

[00:06:30] Cause we wouldn't keep doing this If it wasn't for you. If we didn't have you coming back then you wouldn't have our backs. But, can I just say something though? I really do just enjoy this. Like, I've always said that, but like, I used to be a lot more into like, we're gonna be famous and now I'm kind of like, I think you like that.

[00:06:43] Like it anonymity. I, I, I like that. Say that word anonymity. Nope. Anim anonymity. Nope. An an anim. Anonymity. What is it? Animosity. An um, an anonymity entity. [00:07:00] Anonymous. A anonym anonymity. I do like anonymous though. That is the, you like an I love that. Craigslist. I love that. Yeah. I got, I felt something really big this past weekend.

[00:07:10] At awol. It was a little anonymous. A little anonymous cock play. Well, it wasn't quite anonymous. Well, and AWOL is that way, like, yeah. And I also had the same, yeah, we'll get into that a little bit. It's a little dark. It's a little bit Who, when it's dark, it doesn't matter. Like, who's that wall. Oh. Oh. Do you like that?

[00:07:27] It seems like, feels like you do. I always It's so, I, I, is that, what is that sticky? Okay. Yeah. Well, I have a lot to talk about when it comes to sticky. I could tell I was like, you little sticky, icky. Um, make sure you give us a call. 6 1 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 6. That's 6 2 1. That's 6 1 4 7 2 1 5 3, 3 6. Oh, this weed is really hitting me hard.

[00:07:46] You're getting hit. You're getting steam hill. I'm hitting a heart. Make sure you call us. Yeah, we have a Okay. I also am canceling motherboard already. Uh, cannot. Here's the thing. I really, here's the bang. I like the idea of her, but I hates annoying. You hate, hate editing [00:08:00] her. Like I want her to be able to sit here with us and be able time chime in and be like, uh, you're an idiot.

[00:08:04] Like a fact checker or something. I would love that. Give it six months. I'm sure I said that. I said, you'll be able to put a laptop here. I said that Ai, I said that AI is just not there yet. It's not there yet, but it will be. No, it's not. She'll be back. But actually one of the news stories today that I read was that the CEOs of multiple of the AI groups are like, Hey, you guys need to be careful.

[00:08:21] It, it could be as bad as nuclear war. Did you see that it could be as bad as pandemics? I'm just gonna go ahead and we might as well just go right, and honestly we can imagine how it would be. We might as well just go, right, if AI is controlling our power grid, if AI is controlling how our airplanes fly, it could be bad if it were just like, you know what?

[00:08:39] Fuck these humans. Watch this. I'm watching. This is an app, an AI app that takes your, your article and makes a podcast out of it. And this, it goes from six minute read to a three minute convo. About that exact topic is a recast of the 1100 word piece. Artificial intelligence could lead to extinction.

[00:08:59] [00:09:00] Experts warn from B. BBC News. This article discusses the potential risks of artificial intelligence leading to human extinction and steps being taken to mitigate these risks. Let's listen in. The article is titled, artificial Intelligence Could Lead to Extinction. Experts warn this is an important topic to discuss.

[00:09:19] Yes it is. Recently dozens of experts have supported a statement. This is AI voices talking with their podcasts, AI safety that warn out potential. I thought it was real. AI leading to extinction. Those experts include the heads of open AI in Google DeepMind. Yeah. The statement reads, mitigating the risk of extinction from AI turn should be a global priority alongside others.

[00:09:38] You're risks, such as I think they're right. Nuclear. While some are concerned about the potential risks, like even the AI voices are now like having inflections in their voice and like being like, this is really bad. This is bad. I'm glad you brought that up though. Cause I just didn't take practicing cause I was like, this is a cool, everyone cool.

[00:09:51] Everyone's like, this is cool. It's like, no guys, you know how. It's not many steps away from being very bad. It's already there. And honestly, [00:10:00] I can train our voices in there and then we can be the speakers of those two guys and I could put that article in and then it'll make the dialogue for us in our voices.

[00:10:09] Wait, so we can podcast without podcasting? Yes, we already can do that. I need's go trouble. Fuck it. Fuck it. We're going traveling. We're just gonna put it on play. Motherboard can do it. Oh, that bitch. She can't do shit. Um, so anyway, we got a voicemail. Hey, not, well this is Ryan. I just wanted to say thanks for everything you do.

[00:10:27] Oh, I have a question. I guess I've been, I broke with my boy from eight years and it's getting tough at night, feeling alone and wanting to, you know, have somebody, and I've tried to do it on the apps, it's just not working. But like, what do I do? I feel like I need to be doing something or I need to, you know, pass my time.

[00:10:47] With someone help. Wow. Okay. So you're very, I I'm gonna really be honest with you. For me, this was screaming desperation. Yes. This is screaming. I don't know who the fuck I am. [00:11:00] Yes. You're bored at night, so you want to have a partner. Yep. Not, Nope. That's not, that's not a, have a partner, not a good reason.

[00:11:05] This is why you're eight year relationship fucking failed. I mean, I'm not trying to be rude. No, no. This is real. And this is something that I'm working on in one of my relationships. Sure. Where I'm, we're trying to become independent together, where you're together, but you have your own personality, your own friendships, your own fun, your own hobbies, things you do.

[00:11:27] And then you have ways that you connect together. So you have your own lives. It's almost like a sacred space to the together. Yeah. Like we have this, we do together. It's so fun. Yeah. But on. But on the times where your partner's not there and you're on the couch at night, you're not bored and lonely and crying and then you're just having fun.

[00:11:42] You're actually like, you know what? I'm gonna read a book. I'm gonna watch a show. I like, you're gonna do what you want to do. Yes. It's your hobby. If it's touching dicks, if it's jerk off to Twitter, jerking off. If it's watching a fucking Netflix show, whatever it is, you can do it. Mm-hmm. And that's the thing that people need to learn is that your partner is not your entertainment.

[00:11:57] No. Hell no. Like it's [00:12:00] not like stop using it. Like most people aren't that entertaining anyways. And to be honest, I didn't know that would happen. Hmm. Well this is magnetic and I'm just sucking that. And to be honest, let me suck in those metals, to be honest, like. Oh no he doesn't. I don't. Cause I was like, you're really going into it, to be honest.

[00:12:19] No, but you don't, you shouldn't use your partner as your source of entertainment because that's what a lot of people do. And to be honest, that's America like, that's like, I know. I know. What am I'm gonna alone? What am I gonna do without No, it's like, what do you mean? What are you gonna do? You should be able to do anything that's like, I go to dinners alone.

[00:12:36] If I wanna go to a restaurant, I fucking go to the restaurant and sit alone. People if I wanna go, people think that I wanna So bizarre. No, people think I'm like, Matt thinks I'm crazy. When I would, I go to movies alone, I literally go to lunch all the time. Back when I went to the theater, it would be like, I would just go see a movie alone because I didn't wanna wait six weeks for it to come onto DVD or streaming and then like no one would watch it with me anyways.

[00:12:55] Then. So you decided I may as well go to the theater? Yeah, but people think I'm crazy. [00:13:00] No you're not. You're actually very healthy there. You sat there alone. I'm like Uhhuh and I'll the movie, I'm gonna be quiet. Right. Like it's true. We're not gonna talk to someone I'm with while you wrap your hand. I love that when they're like, yeah, we're gonna go to a movie and da da da.

[00:13:14] It's like, that's your date. You had no had, don't, no conversation. No conversation. You can just scoot over slightly. Yeah. There we go. Um, yeah. So, yeah. Uh, so don't get a partner. Sorry caller. You need to, I need the caller to relax. I need the caller to reevaluate, build their life up without a partner, and then say like, okay, let's do this.

[00:13:34] Like, get you, get it together, honey. Like we don't need people to go make some friends for God's sakes. I mean, that's start there and that's a tall order for a lot of people. It is. But like, that's a thing. You hit me, especially as you get older in life. It's like, how do you just, but what you do is you just join something in your community.

[00:13:50] You just do it. Join a dart league. Join the kickball league. If you don't do sports or anything like that, go to a trivia night, join. Like, there's so many random things you can just meet people, walk up to somebody and say, Hey, I'm new in town [00:14:00] at the bar. Hey, I, I'm, I got out it easy, long-term relationship.

[00:14:03] Like I don't have a lot of friends. What are you doing this weekend? You wanna hang out again? And my people might look at you like, okay, and something meet you. Um, and I, and you know, sometimes we can't help our personality say that, don't so Well it's true though, but it's true. We don't, we all can't control our personalities.

[00:14:17] So if you are having a hard time, maybe like making new friends or being alone, I think it might be time to see a therapist. Right. Sorry. That also helps like a lot. How can you sort it out, work on you while you're waiting for another partner? This voicemail is a hundred percent completely speaking to me that says I need help.

[00:14:37] Help me. Oh my God, I need help. Thinking that a partner will fix it. Yeah. Like looking, thinking a boyfriend is gonna, going on the apps and shit. It's like, that's not what boyfriends are for. They're support you during your life and like, help you, you, you help you be the best version of you. Thank you. Help, help you be the best version of you.

[00:14:54] That's you grow, you should do with it. Period. Yeah. Okay. How do I help them become better by themself? [00:15:00] Amen. Together. Together. Okay. Um, I said questions from YouTube, but we have nobody on, we have one like, so that's good. We have one like, uh, the YouTube stream's going well. Yeah, it's going really well. I'm about to take it down.

[00:15:16] Do we have the crickets button? Or maybe you can shove it up My pussy and, okay. Just don't fuck my dad. That's good too. Yeah. I need to update these. Yeah, I'm ready for an update. Need crickets. We need the crickets. We need crickets. And I think we need train 'em back. Sorry. I do too. I'm not actually a fan.

[00:15:32] Not actually a fan. I don't think it was always this part. Yeah. I'm not actually a fan. Yeah. So, okay. Um, do you wanna go first or do you want me to go first? Because mine's long and I feel like I've been talking a lot. I have a lot to say and I don't know what your, your middle points are, so I just like kind of stack 'em all.

[00:15:47] So if you wanna say something or whatever, I don't care. Okay. So I have a little comment about something we talk about all the time, but partying too hard sometimes you forget your age when you're with [00:16:00] someone younger. So for example, Friday night I went out and had an adventure with someone special. And we went to dinner.

[00:16:11] We were having a great time. We split a bottle of wine. Oh boy. Which is fine. That's only two glasses. Okay. That's not a lot. You're good. So we're good there. Then we just went back to his place so we could change into pants. That took over 45 minutes. Then we went to one of that ass, we went to mm, we went to Jacko Tear Ya new asshole.

[00:16:33] These buttons have gotta go. They're too long and they're too intrusive. Um, we went to Jack O's on fourth, which I've gotta tell you we need to go to. It's, oh, everybody's in love with it. Nice. Everyone is in love with it. There's so much space. That's why it's because it's like two stories inside, two stories outside.

[00:16:48] Plus a patio, plus fire pits. So you can go all over the place. Plus there's two bars outside, one on the second floor outside, one on the in. But two stories. Yeah, like two stories, more bars and everything connects. So it's [00:17:00] like you open a tab and you know it's great. How, what's the bathroom situation like now?

[00:17:04] The urine, I didn't go, oh, so we, I didn't go there cuz they close at midnight. So last calls at 1130. Close, close. For some reason I asked them as good for them. I said, I know, I, I was like, this is fine actually, it's actually don't stay open until 2:00 AM So we went there, had obviously a beer there. Then we were like, well, fomo across the street, have never been there.

[00:17:26] Went to fomo. Then my special, someone knew the bartender there. So what did we have? Shots. Shots. Lots of shots. There's a regret. I had one because, and I didn't finish it cause I didn't like it. Uh, I've seen you pull that trick a little bit. Sometimes. I'm, you really don't like shots that my shots hate.

[00:17:46] Okay. Like, it's time to, I feel like I got, I've, I'm at that age where if I chu something, I might throw it up. One. Also just with all your situations. Yeah, like, you know, I throw up. Right? So for me, chugging or like even doing that, it's a throw up motion. It's [00:18:00] coming back up. So I can't do shots. I can get drunk.

[00:18:04] We know, we know that honey, don't worry about me, but just gimme more time. And so then that happened. And then I think after that there was uh, an interesting story, side story for you. We went to District West on this fine Friday night. What was it? It was a king show. Yeah. So we paid to get in. Okay. We turned the corner.

[00:18:26] Once again, you paid for something that you're not really expecting for. Like, cause they don't show you what's going on. They don't tell, don't tell you. They don't tell you. You walk in, they're like a bunch of lesbians and you're like, they said there's a show going on. Turn the corner. Basically a twink is on stage, but it's supposed to be a king because they put.

[00:18:45] Cigar ashes on their face. Can we talk about that actually? Yeah. And then there's like 20 lesbians standing around the stage screaming only 20 and quietly screaming. And then that was, and we stood there my date, and I stood there for about two minutes before we [00:19:00] looked at each other. And I was like, Nope, we're not getting a drink.

[00:19:02] Here are we? And he was like, no. So we left like immediate, like after we paid, we just paid $10 to get in. And we were like, I was like, I, I donated, I donated to the call, right? I supported the kings, but I don't need to watch that. Like, I don't feel about drag kings. I tell the truth. Are we lie? Nobody's watching.

[00:19:22] Um, I don't understand. No. First of all, I don't understand the makeup part. Like it looks like shit, like, no offense, but it's like, it's what drag queens do without blending. It's like it's Halloween makeup. But it's like they, it's like always they're trying to chisel in lines, but like, they look like a jacko lantern.

[00:19:38] It's like, please, I know what is going on. Somebody has got to explain this to us. So has has gotta blend it. So you look like a man. Why are we not blending it? There's never a blend. It's always a hard line. I know. It's like I hear it white and then like brown and you're like, what the fuck are you doing?

[00:19:53] Is that supposed to be your cheekbone or your fucking, like are you, I don't lord. So I need somebody to [00:20:00] explain to me the makeup situation there. I don't mind the king part. No, we don't mind the like gender bending part. It's the makeup, it's the look honey. It's like I look at them and I'm like, so you're a drag king?

[00:20:08] I can tell. It just looks like a shit show. It's like, yeah. It's like you don't look like a man. I mean meanwhile we have like drag queens who look like full women. Yeah. I mean it was like drag kings look. So if you can imagine like lesbians. Yeah. If you've never seen a drag king. Picture Trixie even tell when she first came out and didn't know how to blend her makeup that well.

[00:20:26] That's a drag king. Okay. And that was a read. That's true. She used to package me like really sharp lines. It was line, yeah. But it was. That was the gag though. Cause she was also pretending to be a doll. Um, so what's going on here? We need answers because I don't think you look, it doesn't look, it's not something we wanna watch.

[00:20:45] I'm just gonna say like, it's also like, I know that's rude, but like, but do they sing like Melissa Etheridge or like, what are they doing on the stage? Like, are they even like pumping crowd up? It's like no was, it was a very depressing song and that's what my day even mentioned to me. He's like, this music is [00:21:00] just sad.

[00:21:01] Yeah. Like, yep. That's kind of the drag king vibe is like, it is kind of depressing. It's like emo and they always sprinkle them in, in the drag shows and they put a little in the, and now we're gonna do the song where you can go to the bathroom too. Um, bring out the drag king. They're like, well here's your, do you guys need to get drink refills?

[00:21:17] We had a drag king for you Chad Davis. You're like, what? Too? What is happening now? I do have to say that there are some drag kings that can actually do it. Well, there was one here. No, there's a really good one here. Back in the day though. I don't know if they're back yet or I don't, I think they moved away.

[00:21:31] It was like literally 10 years ago. John Dean. Oh, James Dean. No, I think they're still around because that person knows how to work a crowd. No, they're still around. They come out, they're like, damn. They play all these songs. And they're like, oh, they, yeah, I know exactly. I have videos of him. Yeah, same. Yeah, same.

[00:21:47] He, he was good. Very good. So, and if they just follow that model, I, I'd watch 'em all day. I'd watch a whole show. Just drag Kings. But, but it's literally the, it, it's a lot of times very sad, like singing a stained acoustic cover and it's like [00:22:00] song,

[00:22:06] it's like, I'm sorry. It's like, it's like if you were to take Virginias, say King real men don't do that, you know, like, So if you're imitating a real man, and I'd kinda like to give that same advice to other queens that are at that establishment, especially with the name, uh, last name. This isn't what women do.

[00:22:24] This whole like, oh, hello. Not also, when are we gonna just, yeah, when is she gonna retire? I know Uhhuh, okay. Is that, when are you gonna move from grandmother to in the grave, grand grandmother to grave just become manager or something like that? What do you mean? Like, yeah, like I think it might be time because I just don't feel the, you know, what I was actually looking forward to.

[00:22:45] I thought there might have been a, an event, a moment, right? Everything's event there at the land grant incident, um, where someone could have become a martyr perhaps, and then it would've ended everything. Right. And and it would've been good ending for them. Right? Cause they would've lived on in [00:23:00] history.

[00:23:00] History. And we don't, I'm not wishing harm upon anyone or I'm not invoking the Nazis to come back. I'm just saying. But honestly, I kind of felt in my harm for them. I was like, this could be the moment. Because it's, you know, she stood up and was like, I mean, wait till, wait till fucking pride. We're gonna get, like, something's happen.

[00:23:17] It's gonna be so messed. I don't wanna go so nervous. I, I'm nervous. I really don't want to go. You're going, but I know I don't want to go. You're, I'm dragging you there, honey. You gotta get that drone out. You gotta get some good video, like content. Especially if you get good content of a massive, you know what Wiener?

[00:23:34] Oh, could, I'm just saying, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying if, and if you had a video of if and when, then maybe if, if you had a video of that event and you sold it to the major news outlets, you could really, that I'd make it. So, yeah. So, okay. Well, I'll be there. You're going to pride. Uh, I'll just stand from the side though.

[00:23:53] Daddy's orders. I'll be side on the side. Speaking of sides, why am I still feeling teeth? [00:24:00] I actually really don't get the call. You call yourself a side, but I'm still feeling teeth. They're saying you're bad at blowjob because you're calling yourself a aside. You're side, but a side can suck. I thought no sides do suck, but it's like, why aren't you good at sucking if you're calling yourself a side?

[00:24:11] That's why I'm screaming. I I was laughing. I was like, aside, you fighting dicks. But I'm like, because it's like, I get it. That's supposed to be your like, you're like, special. I'm a pro. Oh yeah. I'm a side, like when you're a bottom, I can fuck you really quickly. It's like I'm a side and they're like, well, I still, you can't, you're gonna suck.

[00:24:25] Suck. That's not a lie. I'm not good at sucking and I'm, I. I get dry mouth, so like halfway through it's a little bit like, I just get kind of tired. And I also like, I you need to start like writing down my thoughts as I'm blowing people because I think it's real people. Like I blow people all the time. I was like, how many, like zero people like Michael?

[00:24:41] Yeah. Um, but like sometimes I'm like thinking about some, I'm like wondering what am I really thinking about? I'm wondering if they're really enjoying it and I'm looking up like, is the ribs, are the ribs in the kitchen? Are we, we have to cook that? Are they liking this? I, I can't tell. I can't do eye contact.

[00:24:54] Sorry, moaning. But it like, is it hate it? Is it good moan or bad moan? Or am I, am I still too dry? Let me try to sp Nope, [00:25:00] nothing came out. My mouth's still dry. You're like, it's just, and you can tell though when they're starting to like, really, you're like, okay, we're, we're getting somewhere here. Yeah. It's starting to throb a little, it's starting to drip a little bit.

[00:25:08] That doesn't happen to me often, so I'm not really, but for me, I can't even come with a blowjob unless you're like, I cannot come with a blowjob unless it's not happening. It's freak nasty and it's, yeah. Well that's, I got a bar. Or that's why I'm saying there have been the couple times I have. It's because something absolutely incredible.

[00:25:24] It's happening. Yes, yes, yes. And that's. The Anonym amenity. It's, I think that was right. I think it was good job. Thank you. And it's like the excitement. There's something, we lost our lives. What'd we lose? Our live listener. I know. We had one. We had what? I think it was my scream. I really felt it. I was like, ah, you sounded like a chicken.

[00:25:46] Well, it also could have been like the Nazis. So, and then the other fun thing, I did this, uh, weekend and I don't care if they hear this, but I went to my grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary. Wow. Party talk about. [00:26:00] Yeah. Dedication. Yeah. 65 years. Like, like you imagine. I don't even know if we're gonna make it to 65.

[00:26:05] Like I have eight. Yeah. Age. That's what I'm saying. Like, like, but especially getting married and being that married that long. So they were married at like what, 18? Probably like 20. Yeah. About that. Yeah. Like young, young guys. So I went there and this is my dad's side of the family. And they're like the weird side, like the awkward, weird, like two of my uncles, I never see they were there.

[00:26:22] I didn't even know. I didn't even recognize like their kids at all. I don't know their kids' names really? So I'm like, they're my cousins. And I'm like, Jennifer, she's like, you're the faggot, aren't you? He's like, Nope, not Jennifer, that's Abby or something. I'm like, oh right. And this, who is this guy with the eyes too close together?

[00:26:38] Oh, it's your husband. Okay. I was just checking. Cute. Really cute. And then, who are these bratty kids making a lot of noise during the speeches. Shiloh, your kids Wilson. And Yeah, it's like, it's literally, I'm like, I have no fucking clue who these people are. And some of them like came in from out of town and I'm like, Hi.

[00:26:56] No, I can't. But then the funny part is like my cousins who I don't talk to often, but see [00:27:00] like once a year on like family vacations in Mark Island or wherever. Yeah. And they follow my story so I can see they've always seen what I post and like sometimes they like random things. They were there too. So that's fun to see those cousins.

[00:27:09] Right, right. Cause I'm like, yeah, I'm the wild one in the family. And my sister and I, we are the wild ones in that family. We're fucked up. Yeah. Actually on my whole table, my family is the fun family. You know it well, right? Like we were the ones who were drinking ceto. We were drink from Costco. We were loud, we're making jokes.

[00:27:24] I gave my dad the, he didn't have a speech he had to go up and talk to, and then he said, here's to another 65 years. And thanks to Jim for that. Like, why are we saying there's gonna be 65 more years though then we a joke. And then have you seen that SpongeBob episode where it's like, um, just a spinal cord in a wheelchair?

[00:27:42] Like what? I hate chocolate. Oh, that's what we said our grandparents would look like. Fuck my mom. Why don't you age better? Like why? I mean, that's the thing. It really grow. You just get worse and worse. They're so small now you get hot and hot and hot and then all of a sudden it just drops off a cliff and you're like, no, I know.

[00:27:57] Whoa. You're like, daddy, daddy, grandpa, [00:28:00] grandpa. Dead, dead. No, they are so short. Like the pictures, they lose their butts. They lose their, oh, you lose everything. You can't even walk. I mean, honey, it's coming for you. You're already 40. It's kind of sad because I actually already feel the pain of life. I think you're peaking.

[00:28:15] I need to like lose some weight. To be honest. I don't wanna have the nasty like skin. I'm not saying that's nasty for those to the point where gray is more prevalent than black and then you're just Yeah. It's all, I'm really extremely good looking though. I mean, I will say that. Yeah, this is true. Thank you.

[00:28:29] I mean, I can't help it. It's true. It is true. I mean, you've been to camp. I've had so many fucking comments on my fucking hair this past weekend that, yeah. Like, hello. Hi. Go into your trip. Okay. I need to hear. Okay. So rather fucking trap. I went on a very, very, very quick trip to Atlanta. It's really, really tough going home and I don't think anybody understands that at all, but especially for queer people.

[00:28:53] But I like, well, yeah, that and the fact that I have so many friends, I can't see 'em all this [00:29:00] fucking bitch. That's what I was really getting at. It's really hard to go home cause I can't see everyone. It's really hard for me. So this episode is an apology to your friends. Great. Oh, that was when you could have just tear you a new asshole.

[00:29:11] What could, what could you have done? You could have planned an event at a local bar. Rented out a table at a place and said, I'll get, invite all 12 people and I'll get into that. Okay. Because there was gonna be a moment where I was gonna have a vehicle, however, when I got to the goddamn air. So as you know, my travel luck.

[00:29:25] Yeah, you have the worst. Every time I travel with you, it's a delay. It's a, there was a delay. It's a disaster. There was a delay. Okay. Oh, of course. But. Okay, so I'm gonna start from the very beginning, whenever it was the day before. Okay. And Michael goes, I need to say something to you. And I go, oh, fuck.

[00:29:41] He's like, well, I got our seats upgraded. Okay. I said, okay, great. Thank God. But they're not together. What? And we're both in middle seats. How is that an upgrade? That's not an upgrade. It's, oh my God. No. So I was like, oh, I just had panic attack. Right? You've seen me on a plane. So I'm like, oh. Oh my God. No, I do not do [00:30:00] middle.

[00:30:00] I would rather sit by the window in the back row. I will not, especially when you're not, when you're not with somebody, you know. No, I can't do middle. You can't do like the lean. No, no, you can't. Oh, I don't like God. I don't like, yeah. So I was like, how is that an upgrade in the fuck? So I'm watching and he's like, well, you're on the, we're we're on the list for another upgrade, and there's only like one person in front of you.

[00:30:16] And I go, huh? So I get to the airport and I see that there's still a spot open. Okay. In first class. Oh thank God. So I go see the gay, uh, attendant and I said, hi, look at me. I'm, I was like, hi, I'm a pos I'm a person size. He's like, God damn, we gotta get him in the front. Yeah. I was like, I I was just seeing if um, you've done the upgrades yet because I'm on the list and I just was wondering.

[00:30:39] And he goes, I'll get you. I was like, okay, thank God. But I didn't hear my name called when they were calling people up, like, Robert, your sea assignment. So I had no idea what I was doing. I was like, I guess I'm going to the seat. That's, and eventually Delta actually moved our seats together. Like it was like a glitch in the system.

[00:30:51] Like they had to move what's to move people. Okay. I don't know. So you both got upgraded at first? No. Oh, just me. Uh, you little bitch. I love it. So I get to [00:31:00] the gate and Hi, she's scanning and then they scan and they go, he goes, and I was like, like, oh your new seed's two B. Yes. I was like, you honestly earned it cuz you have had so many bad luck travel stories.

[00:31:13] So, so, so we get on the plane, everything's great. Well, I'm gonna say something about the fucking people around me. First of all, oh, Michael was more mad though. The fact that the hottest guy on the plane was my seatmate hot record, beefy blonde. He was actually hot to me too. I don't understand this. And maybe, correct me if I'm wrong, maybe I'm the one in the wrong here.

[00:31:33] I understand the sun is setting in the west. Okay. But I need some windows open when we're flying. Literally the entire first class, all the windows were down. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't even know if we're, where are we? Right. I hate not knowing. I don't like not seeing what's happening. Cause I feel like I'm blind.

[00:31:50] I feel dizzy. I feel like I don't, oh, I need to be able to see. That's weird. I couldn't stand up. I will tell you, I know you're new to first class, but they do not keep the windows up in first class. I, when I, when I flew [00:32:00] to Italy first class and came back from Italy, first class, no, none of them were open.

[00:32:04] The whole cabin was dark and it was daytime on the way back. The whole flight back was daytime. No one had up. I think that's bullshit. I want to see the coast. I think people wanna pretend that they're not even in the air. Literally. I think they're really trying hard, but I think the first class people are like, Hmm.

[00:32:18] I mean, I get it, but like, also I just traveling. They're, you're going 600 miles of fucking hour. I know. It's nice and you can feel it. I opened mine cuz I, you have to, and I looked around, I'm like, oh, does they want it dark? I'm like, is it a rule? They're like, no, it's not a rule. I just like seeing, I like to see the clouds.

[00:32:32] What's happening. Yeah. They wanna see like, oh, okay, cool. We're moving. And then we're actually, when we're, we're going down, I'm like, I wanna see the land and like the water. Right? Because I had no idea where we're, that's the Atlantic and everybody's sitting there and I'm, I'm like, right. All a sudden it's bam on the, I'm like, I had no fucking idea.

[00:32:46] I hate that. Yeah. So I was pissed. I was like, I'm not really pissed, but I was like, this is weird. You should have reached across that big beef body. I was like, open the window. He was an asshole. Of course. Like I, of course. Oh, the hot one's always. I'm super kind. I'm like, hi. And I sat down and go, [00:33:00] oh hey.

[00:33:00] And he goes, Oh, okay. Wow. I'm sorry. So we're not gonna be sharing drinks. Yeah, no, we're not sharing costs. We're fucking bitch. So we get to the airport, we go to the, um, I know I could have gotten a blanket. You're like, I need a blanket. Um, ma'am, spread it across both. He's really small so we just need one.

[00:33:16] We here we're just tiny. Um, so we get to the airport, we go to the rental court center. Okay. Now here's another mistake I made. So you know how Michael's a little bit frugal and I am blaming him on this. Well, yeah, you had middle seats, right? Both of you like frugal is an understatement. So then I'm like, okay, well I'm gonna go ahead and go to Price Line and do like a rental cord year deal cuz like it's kind of a shit show.

[00:33:39] Oh, I've heard of this. I think you told me about this. So I got thrifty. Okay. Thrifty. Now I don't know if anybody's It's in the name. It's in the name. It's in the goddamn name. Yep. It's in the name. So we get there, there's not a lot of lines everywhere. We get to Thrifty, there's 60 people on line. There's 60 [00:34:00] people standing around.

[00:34:00] There's a guy literally yelling Jones, Rick Jones. No, Priscilla. They don't have fucking cars. They don't have fucking cars. So they're waiting for people to bring them back in and drop them off and they're, they're bring 'em in and they're coming out and being like, uh, char. And these people are, you can tell they've been getting comfortable on the floor.

[00:34:21] So I go, uh, hold on. So I go up to this guy and of course he was a sassy little cunt and he's like, I was like, did you just say it could be anywhere from four, it could be up to four hours. And he's like, yeah, anywhere from two to four hours. But we're trying to get him as fast as we can as soon as we get him attorney on, no cancel.

[00:34:34] Nope. Done. I said, fuck it. I walked out of the line immediately and Michael was like, what? I'm like, Nope, not doing it. We're not waiting two to four hours for a fucking car. I'll get an Uber. Right. So then we're like, let's get an Uber. Oh. But I wouldn't, yeah. But if I were there three days with my family.

[00:34:51] Family, yeah. That's what I call it now. So I get a um, Uber. Oh, here's the hot guy I was taking pictures of. Oh yeah. Yeah. He was like a [00:35:00] baseball player. That's a yes, that's a yes. So we get in the car and I don't know if this is the video. Maybe this is one. I know you're Uber rating so I know me cause the friend don't know truth.

[00:35:09] And then afterwards, and then afterwards the girl may Ishma stopped talking to the friend after she told him that. Wait to hear the end. Ama stopped talking to the girl. Girl, this is us getting in the Uber and this is the first thing that happens. Females, you know when when they wanna keep good, man, they'll use that.

[00:35:35] You telling me he want a whole 8, 8, 9. Hold on Mimi. Eight, nine. This is my baby daddy. Hold on Mimi, it's my baby daddy. They're talking about how men trap everybody Shit. It really does make you wanna vote for Trump. Like it really does. And then we get on the highway in Atlanta and it's like, maybe we should get away from this type of culture.[00:36:00]

[00:36:00] Trapping a man by pretending you're pregnant. Do you hear the music? First of all, this is downtown Atlanta. Oh, I need a Xanax, like middle of the goddamn. That's horrified. It took us an hour to get to my mom's house. I'm starving, by the way. Haven't had anything to eat. Cause my mom was getting us public subs and I hope you had a free drink in first class.

[00:36:20] Like, I will. Yes. Okay, good. Or two, but okay. So, but then I'm like, okay. The girl an hour literally went from, we got in the car to, oh, and she couldn't open her trunk either. I'm like, oh, your fucking dead husband's in there or whatever. So we're riding along and she hangs with the phone. The baby daddy calls and so the, the call changes and we go up to level 10 on the volume.

[00:36:42] Like all the way up bitch. And listening to this kind of stuff, and I'm like, no, listen, I can't even hear myself think, yeah, why are we playing this so lot? Then it was Pandora not paid for. So it was in a commercial. Oh my God. Louder than hell. And she's not turning it down. I'm like, what in the fuck? Why are we listening to commercial at top [00:37:00] volume?

[00:37:00] Top volume? I'm talking like you the one. No, I'm like, oh. Oh, this is horrifying. Horrifying. Michael should have walked over to Hertz, get rented a fucking car. Well, we tried. I tried to. Well, so we tried to do that, but they were out of cars everywhere. Everywhere. But they had already planned theirselves, like they weren't thrifty.

[00:37:18] They were like, oh, we have 10 cars and we're gonna rent it to 10 people. Yeah. Thrifty is like, Thrifty's, like well, should we probably should have a car, we should have. People are PR travel all day. People are driving here on a Friday to drop their car, right? No, they're not. Beginning of the weekend bitch.

[00:37:31] I couldn't. Mm-hmm. No wonder it was a deal. Right? So don't ever go to Thrifty, no offense. And they were connected to Dollar. I'm like, they're the same thing. I know. It's like all just trash. It's trash. The Yeah. I would never, but that is awful. So, okay, so that was that, whatever. So you finally got to your mom's house.

[00:37:48] So the pop had a pop up and it was of the fuck, I'm so jealous. I was, I've been craving a P sub. I literally was like, I'm craving one. The fuck, fuck is this? So good. God, it is so good. Somebody opened a pub, just sub [00:38:00] place here. Yeah. Just, oh my God. I don't even need the goddamn grocery store sold out. But they didn't have the egg salad.

[00:38:05] Um, so yeah, the rental car was a real fun time. Then she went like 95 up the fucking highway and I'm like, oh my God, we're just gonna die. Like it's fine. Um, so yeah. So then Saturday I went and saw my nephews and my sister, my dad. Okay, mom, fun. We had a whole day, la la la. We went and had adult dinner with my sister, my cousin on Friday night.

[00:38:24] I got drunk and then family trauma came out, but blah, blah, blah. Worked on that. So then, It's time. Oh. So since I don't have a car, oh God, I'm in prison. I have a car. My mom's leaving for Myrtle Beach in the morning, so I don't have a car. For real. What day? On Sunday morning. So like, she was leaving Sunday morning.

[00:38:38] Yeah. Go to my beach for the week. So I was like, she, she delayed it. Actually, she was supposed to go earlier, but I was like, I'm coming in town. Okay. Hmm. So we don't, we really don't have a car. So my friend Ashley comes and pick us up, picks us up, and we go to Midtown, which is usually what we do cuz we wanna be at her house B before the air.

[00:38:55] Oh my God. I'm speaking no English. That's thinking no English. Uh, we want to be close to [00:39:00] the airport. So like, she's only 10 minutes from the airport, whereas my mom's 45. So I'm like, I want to be like right there so we can just hang out for his whatever. So we go down there, we go to this place called Henry's, and I swear to fucking Christ, I have never in my life had the worst service I have ever fucking had in my life.

[00:39:16] Like I'm talking to the server was like so aloof. So like, yeah, like, like one of those people that's like, oh. And I'm like, okay. And I told 'em what I wanted. I was like, Jekyll Island ipa. That's not that hard. No. Three times. And you wanted the Jekyll. I'm like, yes. So we, we take our fucking sweet ass times 25 minutes later, I'm not even fucking kidding.

[00:39:34] Our beers come out for a drink. Yeah. Beers. That. Beers and a bucket of seltzer. Yeah. 25 minutes. Like so. I'm like, oh, you be the busiest you've ever been. I've been to busy bars here. Busy, busy bars. It's really stupid. It doesn't take 25 minutes to get a drink. So then I'm like, okay. When he comes, like, so he is putting it down.

[00:39:53] I go, we need to order. Yeah. Like, we need to order now before you leave. And he goes, oh God. He was like kind of offended that I was like, I'm like, we're not sitting here, like [00:40:00] we're gonna sit here and chat, but like, I need this to keep moving. Especially if you have a drink. Like you need to eat quickly after Michael put another drink in too.

[00:40:05] Yeah. While you're at it. Ooh. So then he pulls out his little notepad, pulls it out. It's disheveled to hell. You can tell there's like little rit writing on it. He smells his fucking notepad. No clue why we all looked at each other like he goes liquor. Then he proceeds to go. We go through the whole thing, then they're bringing out fucking food and they're like liquor.

[00:40:30] So the F? Yeah, like liquor drink, spill on it maybe or something. I'm like, but why'd you, you smell, pull it out and smell it in front of your people. Like why? That's not good surf. That's like gross. Now you're not even funny either. Like if you're funny, it'd be funny, but I just, yep. So then our food comes out.

[00:40:43] What happens? Oh, here we go. Sarah gets her burger, but no fries. Oh, we're still cooking the fries. Okay. Michael gets just fries, but no burger. They're still finishing the burger, but they still brought the shit out. I'm like, this is the, if it's not finished, then don't bring it. Right. [00:41:00] But also I want fries with my burger and it's also been 45 fucking minutes as order fries in a burger.

[00:41:04] Do not take that long. Right. Burger. And it wasn't even busy, two, three minutes aside, depending how thick. It made me really worried about what we were eating, to be honest. I was like, oh no. Ready? Oh no. Yeah, it means it's been sitting out in the back and it's like, so. We finally get our food, we eat. I'm like, we gotta get the fuck outta here.

[00:41:20] Like I gotta go like I can't. And in the south Sunday, like what? This is Sunday at like five o'clock or four? Three o'clock? Yeah. In the afternoon. When were you coming back? Monday. Monday morning. Oh, okay. Okay. We're like Monday at 1130 or so, we had to do the airport. Airport. So you stopped time in the evening?

[00:41:33] Yeah. To have some, well, kind of Then I had to go get, yeah. Okay. So, so then we're like, okay, so Sarah leaves and her husband leave and then it's me, Ashley, and Michael. So we're like, let's go like to a bar. Oh yeah. So we decided to go to the Eagle. Okay. So it's like five 30 we get there. There's literally like four people there we're like, oh God.

[00:41:49] On Memorial Day weekend. Yeah. It was bizarre. But there's also the largest jazz fest in the country that's free. It's a one of the largest free concerts in the country. Oh, okay. So fair. It was just a fucking shit show down there, just to say the [00:42:00] least. Yeah. This is not a weekend to visit for me. Okay. So we have, so you know JV n, right?

[00:42:05] Oh yeah. So this JV N looking motherfucker walks in sassy as hell, has two huge diamond ring fingers that are fake, that are like l e d. They're like blinking. No, he's like, this keeps them wave, blah. He comes up. So he looks at me and I, I look up and I see him. I'm like, okay. Like yikes. And I'm like, okay, well here we go.

[00:42:21] And I look up again. He goes, he had a really pretty smile, but it was like a really kind of like a creepy smile. It was like, and I was like, oh, is he blacked out? I was like, oh yeah, I think they were high because he was looking for his fucking wallet for like an hour in his purse. And I'm like, oh no. So he comes strolling over and he goes, Pat's Michael in the knee.

[00:42:39] And goes, I'm really sorry if this is your husband or whatever. And he looks straight at me and the eyes and he goes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are fucking gorgeous. And I was like, you must have your goggles on. But yeah, thank you. The bitch sits down on my leg. It's Damien, by the way, from Michigan, but now lives in Louisville.

[00:42:59] Um, but was [00:43:00] visiting Atlanta. For a divorce party, um, for a gay divorce party. So cool. Whatever. I'm like being hit on a lot. Well then another friend comes over David, friend of Damien? Mm-hmm. Okay. And David's a ginger. Oh, here you go. David's a hot ginger. Oh no. David was flirting with me doing this kind of thing and like he grabbed Oh, he grabbed your tit.

[00:43:21] Well, actually he grabbed your tit. No, he didn't. Neil. Oh my God. Actually he did, he grabbed my nipples. But then Damien goes, you got big puppies. You have great tits. And I was like, oh no. Is this a compliment, Damien? Thanks Damien. First you told me I thought I was my, I thought myself was ugly. Yeah. Like I thought, like you told me I was perfect.

[00:43:38] But then, and then don't worry, you're gorgeous. You're like, I, I wasnt worried, but now I am motorboat the fuck out of the, I'm like, oh my God. Oh God. Okay. But David's still having fun with these puppy, but David is different than Damien. Yeah. David. David's right up my alley, so da, but David was getting drunk.

[00:43:55] Okay. David was drinking bourbon. Um, oh. So he was getting worse and worse [00:44:00] and he was like, going and talk to all these people, people who drink liquor, like run away. But he was like, do you wanna go get a drink with me? He's like, what do you guys want? Send it to my call. Ashley Will And I, I go, yeah. And I was like, are you guys coming?

[00:44:11] And they Michael's like, Nope. And I was like, oh no. So then I got like tingling my pussy and then he did this. He kept just touching me in random spots and I was like, oh my God, my pussy is like tingling. I love when it gets wet. It was so hot. I was like, I have a like blood flow. Yeah. Like it's just hot in public.

[00:44:25] You're like, you're the hot guy. Oh no. Of course. So David frequently visited me throughout the night, but he was really getting drunk. La la la la la. Oh wow. So I finally was like, whatever. Fuck you. Whiskey dick. So then I have another guy. I don't, someone, I don't remember his name, Jason or something like that.

[00:44:41] Um, he shows up. He's this hot boy. I can show you a picture. We're friends on Facebook. I wanna see him on Instagram. Um, he's cute. He's very cute. Um, he's, he's went to Auburn. Oh yeah, it's over. Okay. Like, he's cute. Yeah, I'm ready, but I'm like, fuck me. He's just standing there and I'm like, what is going on?

[00:44:56] Like, are you like, what's going on here? [00:45:00] Um, he was just there by himself, so I, oh, okay. I grabbed Michael. I was a little shy, so I was like, Mike, come over here. Um, let's go talk to this guy. Like, what the fuck is we saw you from across the bar. We like here vibe. I go, oh, hey. I go, um, you know, are you here with's, somebody here?

[00:45:13] Like, what are you, what's going on? He's like, no, I just came up here, blah, blah, blah, blah. Super cute. A little bit shy. Was he shy? Was he nervous? A little shy a little bit. Um, Well, I'll say a lot because his name was Matt actually. It's there. It is. Oh. Um oh. Oh. I think he's pretty hot personally. Yeah. Like he's got like this look like a Oh, it's a good look.

[00:45:35] Yeah. So I'll read my text from Matt. Ugh. Cause I was also into getting numbers that night. So we were leaving and Matt was standing there and I was like, well we gotta go. Cause we've been here for like six hours. By the way. It's midnight at this point. We got there at five 30. Okay. Oh, it's one of those nights.

[00:45:48] Full black. Lots of tingling. Lots of full blacked. Yeah. When you know, when you go to the bar sometimes and you're having that fun time and you're like, and all of a sudden it's like six hours later you're like, that happened to me at Slammers. It's happened to me at sleep. It [00:46:00] happens all the fucking time.

[00:46:00] Anytime I order pizza slammers, it's like I've been there too long. You know? Yeah. You know, I'm like, I need food. So I get his number. We're texting. Oh my God. He goes,

[00:46:14] let's see, I sent my dick pictures too. You did not, um, Hey there. Hey there. Got kind of hard when you touched my legger. Wait, maybe I'm, oh, he sent ager. Oh, I didn't realize I said this. I was hard talking to you. Did you go to another bar or home? I said we're at Felix, but we're leaving. Why are you so hot?

[00:46:35] I want to make out. I don't, you said that you never wanna make out. You were blacked out. You never, he goes, haha, I kind of wanna suck you. I said, you could. I'm thick. I don't even know why that means. And he goes, fuck I want your CU was hoping you were single and live in Atlanta, but I totally respect that You're not and you don't.

[00:46:54] I go, lol, you could suck two at once. He goes, yeah. How long have you, since you [00:47:00] shot your load, lol. Sorry, I'm naughty. I go, you're not, I would love to fuck around. He goes, yeah, me too. So I set my A, my penis in my, I wanna see him, obviously. Oh yeah, he was in the shower. What's the one before that? That he sent his ass in the shower?

[00:47:15] Oh, we, we want dick. That's what I kind of said. So I'm like, okay, you're bottom. So you are kind of thick though in that picture. I want you exactly my type you up. Oh no, what time at that point is at What time? One o'clock. No, it's too late. And I said at 1 45. 1 29 A. Yes. A yes. Okay. Literally B, we don't know.

[00:47:34] A I was dead. B, I don't have a car. And then I got a text next morning I fell asleep. When are you leaving? I said, LLL a leaving this morning. Which wasn't really that true, but I didn't wanna like, I didn't want to put I know you don't want, yeah, yeah. You don't want to deal with, so you on Instagram? Yay. Uh.

[00:47:46] I said, you're so hot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Aw. He said, what are you into? I go as far as, oh, you're being quick set. All of a sudden you're being coy. I said, I'm a side. Aw, I really wish I would've gotten to suck. You. Come really turns me on. Would've loved [00:48:00] swallowing for you. Oh wow.

[00:48:01] Okay. That's kind of fun. I like that. So sexy. You could really caught my eye last night. He's cute. I know. Mm. So anyway, what does he say he's doing? He's studying to be a roofing cooling. I'm in a cooling boot camp to become a song. Oh. Coating coding. Anyway, so basically, long story short, my time in Atlanta was very, um, I realized that unfulfilled fulfilled though.

[00:48:28] Oh, okay. I felt like my, oh, like I was hot. I was touching dick's. I did touch David's dick. Um, was he drunk though? But I did get his number and I follow him too. Um, but okay, so yeah. Um, didn't show me David, and, well, David's not hot. No. David's husband's hot. No. David's hot. No. David's hot. Are you fucking kidding?

[00:48:49] I don't do ugly. Well, well, I'm like, not always. This is David Honey. Oh yeah, he's cute. Like he's got that. Okay. [00:49:00] Wait, hold on. Which one's David? Um, oh, not, that's not David. That's his hot husband. Yeah, his hot husband. I was trying to get him both, to be honest. Which one's the David? I'm trying to find like a good picture of him.

[00:49:08] Like one that's like him, but he Oh one he, oh no, he puts this, it's that right? Theres on the right or left on the right. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's cute. He's a cute ginger. He's got good teeth. Yeah, I was gonna say, um, he's just, I've really, he's cute. Aw, he's cute. They got the look. I'm surprised. Yeah, you're surprised.

[00:49:26] Cause he liked me. Well, no offense, but I'm a fucking star. Sometimes there's, sometimes I will say, sometimes you let the ginger aspect overpower some of the other more troubling aspects. That is true. Um, I would say that you'll be like, mm, he's a ginger, but he's got a bum bum knee. Uh um, so yeah. So that really was my, um, but I did wanna talk about something with you cause you mentioned it.

[00:49:50] Yeah. And this is gonna be our group topic. Then we go sundries. But I wanna talk about hangovers for a second, because who's mowing their lawn while we're fucking recording? Yeah, they, this is inappropriate. [00:50:00] This is our 200th episode. Like, how fucking dare you?

[00:50:06] It sounds like. They're listening. Was it Michael Edging? No. No, he's done. Oh, okay. We have an electric, it doesn't even make that noise, right? Oh, it's Mary. It's fucking Mary's neighbor kid that comes over. Anyway, um, hangovers, I saw that you wrote that. You sent that to me this morning and I was like, I feel like we need to tackle this just for a second.

[00:50:25] Um, so you were hungover this weekend, Saturday? I, when you were at the event? I, no. Even bef, no bef I didn't leave my bed until I showered to go to the event, which was at 6:00 PM Oh no, I stayed in bed, but I had fun. Like I wasn't, I was a little hungover. I wasn't like miserable sleeping. I couldn't, I didn't sleep at all during the day I was watching a show.

[00:50:46] Right. You're kinda like this. I was playing Zelda. Yeah. Trying to, I was eating, I ordered Uber, you know, like I just lived my life. I loved it, but I did feel a little like, this is inappropriate. I shouldn't have done this. And I didn't want to go to the event, the six, the 65th anniversary. I mean, who would, I was too [00:51:00] tired.

[00:51:00] I was like, I'm hungover, but. It. It's overall hangover sucks. So do you have a moment when you're drinking, when you go Yeah. Oh no. It's whenever I have a shot and it's happened. Yep. If I've had a shot and I'm already drunk, I know it's gonna be a hangover the next day. That's the feeling. When I had that shot at FOMO even half, I was like, I'm gonna be hungover because I'm already drunk and now I'm drinking straight liquor and you're putting on top of that liquor on top.

[00:51:24] Like I didn't sober up from that beer at Jackie O's I just went right into a shot, right into it. Hungover. That's, I knew. I like, oh, I'm gonna be hungover tomorrow. And you have that moment in your head, you're like, my god damn it. But you're trying to act like it's, you're like, everything's great. It's fine.

[00:51:37] Like, I just gonna ride out the night. I'm gonna have fun. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. But you in your head, you know, you're not follow, like how are you on Monday? Yesterday I threw up in the morning. Um, the only reason was, it's really funny reason though. And then you have to travel. Okay. So we were, I was laying there and Ashley came out of her room and we were all talking, and for some reason I started going, oh my fucking pussy.

[00:51:59] [00:52:00] So she started making this noise. She was going, and I was like, yeah. So we were all making these noise at 8:00 AM in her fucking condo. Yeah. I would drop screaming, crying, laughing, like I couldn't even breathe. And all of a sudden I went like, I kind of choked. Yeah. And then I go just like in normal fashion I usually do.

[00:52:15] I'm like, well, I'm gonna throw up. So I went and threw up. It felt better. You do feel better after I throw up. Did I need to get a good old throw up? It was the frozen pizza from the night before, but the 2:00 AM frozen pizza. It was actually midnight when we got home, but, oh wow. Again, we've been, well you were still texting B toy at 1:00 AM.

[00:52:33] Yeah, 1:45 AM I had a little, I had to wait. You had to Was being slut. You were being a slut. I was all for it and Michael was for it. Michael was like, he turns me on. Oh good. When he pimps out his partner. That's good. I'm happy to be bent out honey. You better be cuz there's no alternative. Honestly, I'm you're not.

[00:52:50] I'm might have only fans because I feel like I'm a brand. You could, I'm a brand. Yeah. I think that shower picture, I briefly kind of saw the corner of my eye. That's an only Fann [00:53:00] photo. I'm hot. That would do well on only fans. Yeah. Like honey, I was gonna post it maybe on like Twitter. Yeah. But I just need a, I'm not even hard in the picture though.

[00:53:09] I'm just like, oh that wasn't even hard. Oh, you are thick. He's thick. Everyone, you're an asshole and I don't like you, but that's not the button I wanted. So we gotta get rid of the button Suck right now. Wow, you are really judging. So anyway, hangovers. So my cure though, honestly, is to kind of drink again.

[00:53:28] Yo. What did I do? It's the only, what did I do at the 65th anniversary? I had Prosecco. I felt better. See? And then you also two Proseccos. I was like, I'm fine. You pick something that's like, that's my, I was fine. I brunches on Sundays with gays. I think that's why we drink, because we have mimosas. Cause we're like, you're not gonna, yeah.

[00:53:44] And then you're drunk again. You're like, I'm fine. Fine. You almost have to get drunk. Okay. So you get drunk, you're hungover. Then you have to kinda like drink a little bit, but not much. You drunk this night? Yeah. Like I wasn't drunk. No. I just had two. You get a little, little tipsy. Then I had a third and fourth, and then I felt fine.

[00:53:56] You get tipsy. Yeah. Then you're fine. I was like, I'm fine. And the next day you're like, went to bed. [00:54:00] Oh, I'm still a little bad by like, not as Sunday I was not as bad. And Sunday I went out. Sunday night I went out, I went to the Strawberry Jam. Oh fuck. And then I went out to AWOL for the phone party. So yeah, like Sunday I was better.

[00:54:13] Monday. I was great. I was struggling, um, until I made my vodka from last night. I was gonna say Monday. You threw up, traveled and then made a vodka drink and you got home. I was sweating so bad in the plane. I was gonna say you were probably so, cause the hangover sweats, like, you're just like, I'm hot. It's a real thing.

[00:54:27] I'm hot. Hot. Oh, I had the fucking Yeah, you're like the emergency. I had the emergency exit. I had the emergency asset, but I had to fan myself. I was like, fan, fan, fan. We have a fan listening and we have one ask us a question. We need just one question. Um, so yeah, I was like fanning myself Anyway. Fanning your, so whenever you're hungover, like, and no offense, but if you're in your early thirties, just wait.

[00:54:53] Yeah. It gets worse, obviously. And now that Bobby's 40, it's even worse. I'm not 40. I'm not even 39. Well, you look 40. I [00:55:00] look hot. Sorry. Oh, and then also we'll see. Um, sundry. Sundry. Yeah, sundry. I have a sundry in here. My sundry is more a celebratory sundry and that I'm going to see Beyonce in Toronto in July.

[00:55:16] July 8th. I'm going for July 7th, eighth and ninth. You're going to Toronto. Toronto. And, um, where are your seats? Third row. So we're gonna see Queen, queen Bay, queen Bay. Queen Bay. Actually, there's two people in here now. Yeah. They heard Queen B Ask a question. Yeah, ask a question. Oh, wow. I look like shit.

[00:55:38] First of all, you don't even know who they are. They might not even speak English well if they don't, they just don't. They might be here for their, there's ai, like the transmitter. You, they might want the looks. They might want. They want these titties all Fuck. Oh my God. It's a puffy nipple today. It's puffy as fuck.

[00:55:53] Yeah, I was gonna say they get puffy. Wow. Okay, let me sit up straight if we have viewers. Oh fuck. We, [00:56:00] uh, yeah, just ask us a question. We're wrapping up the please. God. So you're gonna Toronto for, so that's my sons. I'm going to Toronto with my new new. I wanted to ask you about your new, I wanted to ask you about Labor Day.

[00:56:13] Oh, okay. Do you think that we should just do a shorter trip so we can use Labor Day? You? Cause I think yes, he was upset about the Labor Day. I know. I'm worried now, so don't be worried. Um, okay. Cause I was like, I want kind of a solo trip. We could do a three day trip. So we need to plan a three day trip.

[00:56:26] Friday summer. Like a Sunday. Yeah. Sunday on a week. Okay. So, and I got trips planned too that I'm playing with Michael. Like, oh, no quiet. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to travel myself. You're allowed to go. Not if you take me Galvan, gallivant and Toronto. And all of a sudden now I have a fucking plan.

[00:56:39] And all of a sudden we're, we're you've had plans the past four weekends. I don't have a chance to travel with you. Bitch, you were rich. You were in Italy. I don't wanna hear it. And there's three now what the fuck? There's three people now watching. People are off work now. Bitch. It's 6:00 PM Mm. Anywho. So anywho, we're going to a gay campground.

[00:56:57] Are you going to Riverside or, um, river's Edge or [00:57:00] Lake Edge or Lake? Uh, try English. Try English, honey. Oh, I'm gonna feel my titty. Uh, no, I was talking about, um, I thought you were talking about you when you were gonna Toronto Uhhuh. You were gonna a gay campground? No. Not in Toronto. No. Okay. That's, I'm staying in a five star hotel.

[00:57:17] I would never go to a campground in Toronto. Even if there's a slur wall. What's that? Uh, it's a wall that's full slrp. Oh, that'd be fun. And I wanna go to that place. And it's a stairway so you can stand up so the guy can stand up. So the guy that's sucking doesn't have to be on their knees. Oh, so they're on a platform above you, so their dick's right at mouth.

[00:57:38] Oh, I like that. Did you part's in participate? No, it's in Toronto, but I know Where is it? On the edge of the lake. It's on the lake. I'm getting nervous. Is it an actual campground though? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's a gay campground. But can you get there from the city easily? I don't know. That's where I was like, oh, I didn't know if you had looked at, I'm not renting a car.

[00:57:55] Like, look at me honey. Look at me. Look at you. Can somebody ask [00:58:00] us a question? Please. Please. Okay, so that's great. So you're gonna get a five star, five star hotel. Rooftop has put rooftop pool, so we put some money down for, um, it has a rooftop pool. Yeah. Oh, that'll be hot. We're gonna do dinner even though it's not like obviously a top rated restaurant.

[00:58:17] We're gonna, I planned for now dinner in the tower. So like you sit and it spins down spinning one goes slowly around so you see the whole city. I hope you're getting overtime. Oh, I'm working overtime. Honey. If, I mean, you need to be working on every day possible. Oh, I'm, oh, I'm fucking working. Um, I have a sundry.

[00:58:38] Yeah. What's your sun? It's actually very simple. Um, I think it's really funny when a pilot, uh, tells the kids after the flight that that wasn't that great of a landing. I guess you guys could have fucking landed the plane or you guys could have landed the plane better than me. It's not true. I was like, a child could not land a [00:59:00] plane.

[00:59:00] I'm like, why do we land so bad? So my son, yeah, half the time they don't land well, but it's like, what's going on here? That there's literally no problem here. There's no no weather. AI could do it better. Well, and they will soon. Yeah. By the way, we don't need pilots like dare literally. Let's be honest.

[00:59:14] Wait, this, why would we need pilots? We don't need pilots. We don't need air traffic control. No, we don't even need, we can have a baggage air traffic control for sure. Like you don't need, they'll be able to, they'll be like turning, we can track the plane everywhere. Like we don't need a human be like, here it is, it's coming in.

[00:59:27] Actually quick change everything. Like we don't need that. You know what's really crazy? So on Delta, if you're a Sky member, you get like full wifi now I guess. Oh yeah, honey. Yes. Yeah. So I was on Flight Radar, I was on Delta one recently. Oh, sorry, I forgot I was on Delta one. I know. I, um, I got on the flight map so I could see the planes and I was watching our plane fly.

[00:59:45] Yep. Then I listened to the tower in Columbus. As we were coming in, it was like 2 44. Uh, right heading 180. And I was like, oh my God, I'm listening to the tower and I'm in the plane. That's so weird. Isn't that weird? Like, I could, it's kind of scary, like thinking you are ai. I am. [01:00:00] You're just the That was an AI though.

[01:00:01] That was like, I wouldn't say intelligent. I would say I think I'm learning artificial. I'm a learning ai. Yeah. I'm a special learner in the ai. You're still in the coding face. Yeah. So we're not, we're not gonna release you to the public. You're beta. I am a beta version. You're a beta. And I'm an alpha.

[01:00:16] Hello. And I'm not You're a delta. I'm Delta Kai. So pilots out there. Let's work on our landings. Um, please. Because you, for I'm getting jiggled up. I love one land. It's like when I'm like, oh, fuck my tits. Oh, these puffy. It's true though. It's true. They puff you jiggle. And when you land and you're like, and then when you don't even know you're landing, you really juggle jiggle.

[01:00:38] Cause you can't brace yourself. Huge. Like, Before you have another seizure, we should say thank you for joining us on our 200th episode. Yeah, thank you so much. Please give us a call at six one four seven two one five three three six three six. That's 6 1 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 6. You can also email me at she's not doing swell@gmail.com.

[01:00:56] I'm not changing that email address cuz I, I would never, there's too many things. It's good. It's [01:01:00] good. So yeah, we'll be back for 2 0 1 next week. Yeah. I don't know what we have in store. I mean, who knows. We'll figure it out. We always do. Uh, yeah, that's it. Anything, anything else you wanna say? No, that's it.

[01:01:13] Okay. Federally months faster plots. Okay. Um, thank you for joining us and thank you for our YouTubers that came, uh, at the last minute and didn't say that they were here. Like you could have at least texted something and that's on God, period. Oh. I feel like they just wanna see us big fat boys. They wanna see the, they want these big, fat boys.

[01:01:34] Okay. Make you hit Stop on, yeah. Give this one.