Why pay for the milk when you can have the cow for free?

In their latest episode of "Not Well," hosts Bobby and Jim engage in a candid and humorous discussion encompassing a range of topics. They talk about the intriguing world of OnlyFans and its impact on the digital creator economy, offering a unique perspective on the blend of social media trends and modern lifestyle choices. Their conversation humorously demystifies the expectations versus the realities of being an OnlyFans content creator.

They also deep dive into the complexities of gay relationships and dating, providing personal anecdotes and insights. This segment touches on the nuances of LGBTQ+ relationships, resonating with listeners who seek genuine stories and advice in the realm of dating within the gay community.

In addition, Bobby and Jim share their personal experiences with weight loss, discussing the challenges and triumphs they've encountered. They explore topics related to health and wellness, lifestyle changes, and the journey towards self-improvement. This part of the episode offers a blend of humor and valuable insights, appealing to those interested in stories of personal transformation and healthy living.

Moreover, they delve into a satirical commentary on current social and political issues. By injecting humor into their discussion, they provide a unique and engaging perspective on contemporary events, making the episode relevant to listeners who appreciate a comedic yet thoughtful take on current affairs.

Throughout the episode, the blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary on a variety of topics ensures a captivating listening experience. The episode is tailored to appeal to a wide audience, including those interested in LGBTQ+ issues, social media dynamics, personal growth, and political satire, making it a quintessential representation of the edgy and comedic style of the "Not Well" podcast.

Not Well Podcast, Gay Comedy, LGBTQ+ Perspectives, OnlyFans Content, Digital Creator Economy, Social Media Trends, Personal Development, Political Satire, Humorous Commentary, Gay Relationships, Dating Insights, LGBTQ+ Dating, Personal Anecdotes, Relationship Advice, Satirical Humor, Weight Loss Journey, Health and Wellness, Lifestyle Changes, Self-Improvement, Body Image, Diet and Nutrition, Healthy Living, Modern Lifestyle Choices, Online Content Creation, Creator Culture, Social Commentary, Current Affairs, Edgy Podcasts, Candid Discussions, Comedy Podcasts, Gay Community, Relationship Dynamics, Dating Experiences, Gay Life, Wellness Journey, Personal Stories, Contemporary Issues, Humor and Satire, Gay Culture, Social Media Influence, Creative Economy, Podcast Entertainment, Edgy Humor, Lifestyle Podcast, Cultural Commentary, Queer Issues, Media Trends, Online Relationships, Personal Growth.

Transcript

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[00:00:00] This week on Not Well, we talk about Only fans gays being local celebrities. First date tables. Oh, wait. We talk about your first date and how it's not gonna go anywhere. We talk about Indian guys with no game. We talk about the fact that you have to send a fucking email when somebody gets a promotion and talk about their entire sex life.

We talk about getting fucked in the Senate chambers. We also talk about our new gay villain or our old gay villain. I mean, it's kind of the gay villain period. I was like, George Santos is so old. We also talk about porn hub search terms. We talk about the fact that I want to do a gangbang of the Sheraton.

We talk about losing weight on Ozempic lookalikes. And how about your first penis? All this and more. This week on not well, I love that little kiss you to go

back rolls. Check one, check, check, check, check, check, [00:01:00] check, check. A little bit down a little bit down. There we go. Perfect. I think that's great. I think we're great. I think it's great. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of not. Well, I'm Bobby and I'm Jim. We are here with our orange peel fermented wine.

That's correct. It's all the way from Italy from Tuscany. It's got a little bubble too. So it's good for Bobby's. We go be stomach. I'm going to be throwing up later, but actually this might actually not be bad because it's, it's natural. It's for men's natural wine. It's like, um, kombucha, if you will. It's a probiotic.

That's what I was trying to say. Everyone, give us a call. 614 721 5336. That's 614 721 5336. Or email us. Oh my god, why can't I speak English? I was like, is your mic cutting out? I'm weak. Where's your Puffy Piffy? It's right here. I'm worried to Puffy Piffy it. If this is pre Piffy Puff, then Yeah, wait till Puffy Piff.

You're gonna be fucked. I'm fucked. Um, make sure you must she's not doing so well at gmail. com [00:02:00] Okay, uh a little weight loss update I'm down 14 total pounds in two weeks, thank you. That's insane Wow 14 in two weeks. That's a pound a day You are just starving yourself. Babe, I can't eat. Literally. I couldn't even drink.

I can't eat or drink. But isn't it funny? We're like, we're losing weight by starving ourselves. It is funny, but it's also appropriate. You know, It's like a gastric bypass, but I was so afraid. Speaking of starvation, Do you remember Like when we were in about first grade, well I skipped first grade, but about that time for you.

Oh, cause you're so smart. Oh wait, you're older than me, so you remember third grade, fourth grade. Mmhmm. The pictures of the starving kids in Ethiopia. Oh yeah, with the big heads. The big heads. Yeah, every rib showing and like their eyes popping out for 99 cent for one day. You could say, what was that? Why was that so big?

I don't know. Didn't Madonna do something with that too? Or some, but anyways, now we're doing it to look good. So starvation is key. Honestly, just send me to Africa. [00:03:00] Right? They would love you over there. Honestly, you're super white. You're super tall and super goofy. They'd be like, Oh, goofy, big white man.

Yeah, literally you'd be a hit. I'm a hit anywhere I go, and that's, and no offense, but And that's on God That's on God, period And coming up, coming up, you may be a hit in New Orleans Come down and join us, New Orleans New Orleans You can't stay with us, but you can definitely come party with us Well, you can stay with me Or you can fuck Jim, uh, one night only He's gonna fuck you, one night only.

I didn't say anything about fucking. He's gonna suck you, one night only. No, I'm not doing that either. I have dry mouth. Oh, and you know what? I have nothing to offer, like, literally. It's actually something I wanted to talk about. I'm like, yeah, I'm so fun to hook up with. Um, do you wanna Handjob, laying down like Terry Shiavo?

With dry hands? Bitch, I look skinny around this fucking Well, you're sitting like this and Well, cause I'm little. I'm so skinny! Spread out and let the tits hang and it'll look the same. No, you do look skinny. I feel like I just look a little more [00:04:00] Everything's put together. The shirts are looser. The shirts are looser.

The chin's tucked. Tucked and tight and The second chin is tucked. I know, I think I'm gonna have a line here though cause I'm fat. Oh, I didn't think of that. Yeah. No, it's really smaller. Yeah, so anyway, Pornhub this week came out with their annual list of searchable terms, which I didn't look up any of them I'm hoping that you have them.

I had not Okay, but I believe I wanted to do it live because I do know I do know what Ohio's was And I think Ohio's was solely driven by you. Honestly, I feel like this podcast has brought, Ohio the top search of the the year We'll pause for a moment, let you guess. Yeah, go ahead. 3, 2, 1. It's small Cox

Literally Ohio. Ohio. Literally Ohio. And honestly, from what I've been seeing, it's been great. Like I love the small Cox. I actually think Small Cox are making now. Of course I'm gonna lose all this weight and my dick's gonna be look bigger than ever. Like Ale. Yeah, you're right. They're gonna want it to be back in the shell.

I [00:05:00] love it because I like when there's a confident guy with a small cock and he's like. You want this big cock and I'm like, is it big? You and I both know you're lying, but it's the confidence. For me, it's the confidence. For me, it's being able to put it in my mouth without it hurting. And, or making me gag.

Right, like I don't want to throw up on a dick. I've already done that once in my life. Somebody threw up on my dick one time. Well, I didn't throw up a lot. He was like, I gotta go. He was like sucking me and then he's like, I gotta go. And he's like, I was like. You're like, get back on that dick. And then he came back and finished.

Did he really? Yeah. And I was like, you were probably like, sure. Then I thought, oh my God, what if I had a cut on my dick? You have gastric juices in there. I thought of AIDS. From his stomach? Yeah, I used to be so scared of HIV. From the acidic environment of his stomach. I thought, oh my god, what if his throat was bleeding, and then he's sucking my dick, and what if I had a cut on my I was so scared of HIV.

Abe's panic is still real. Like, the conservatives are using it. Oh, they are, and it's just gonna get worse now that we're fucking Oh, we'll get into that. So, let's look up the 2023 [00:06:00] I want you to guess something. How about Michigan? Uh, moms. This is weird. Bondage. Ooh, Michigan. Now, Indiana makes sense. Chubby.

Church? Oh. Chubby. CH. Uh, Kentucky? Bouncing boobs. That makes sense, too. Like, show those tits! Now, West Vir West Virginia? Yeah, what's West Virginia? Nip slip. Which is like, based on their saggy, dirty shirts, they're always nip slipping. Ooh. Georgia is, um, what you'd expect for a southern state. Ebony? Ebony solo.

I knew it. Well, it should make sense, because Atlanta alone Ebony solo so like individual like solo ebony girls fingering the pussies and stuff Um, what about California? Louisiana. What is Louisiana? Yeah, let's look at Louisiana since we're going there. I can't wait since we're going to New Orleans. NOLA.

Whatever the fuck you say it. Big Black Dick. Well. Way to cut to the chase, New Orleans. Well, New Orleans, you know what you want. They're like, [00:07:00] uh, Big Black Dick. We just want Big Black Dick. And that's what made us decide to go there. And that's the reason we're going. California. Yeah, like what about some of the fruit and nut states, like the whole west coast.

Asian stepmom in California. So, okay, so Oregon, what you'd expect for this outdoorsy state. Nudist. Oh, that's hot. Washington, sensual sex. I could see Washington being in a tantra. And where we're going in Utah, Mormon, like, that's boring. The Mormons are looking at Mormon porn. Honestly, though, I would look at Mormon porn.

But like, if you were in Utah, you'd see it everywhere. You are a Mormon in Utah, so why are you looking up, well, I don't know. Yeah, right. Well, New Mexico was Native American. It seems kind of racist in a way, or it's like, we're not racist, but kind of like. But people are racist. But I guess it is what it is.

This is showing the different diversity of America. South Dakota likes shower sex. Texas likes creamy. Of course, you fat fox. Yeah. I want to see what the East Coast is about. New Jersey, Turkish. [00:08:00] Delaware, college. Maryland, glory hole. Do you know what I think? Like, I'm, I can't. Maine is thruple. Which you've been there, so you've experienced it.

I've had a quadruple. I mean, and that's A quadruple's too much. Because it breaks off into pairs. You have to have an odd number. You have to have an odd number for any type of war. I agree with that, because if you don't get the hot one, then you're kind of annoyed, and then you're like, I'll take this one for the team.

Which you did. Which I've taken that twice for the team, because there was another couple that we hooked up with in Vegas that were bears, and know, I know. He arranges it well, he knows what he's doing. He's in, he's in control when it's an orgy situation. And honestly, I'm fine with that. Because when I'm alone, I'm in control.

Um, Speaking of, I have to speak of orgies real quick. Yeah! I had a story happen and be told to me on Monday night. Is this the gangbang? Did I tell it already? No, but it's on here. No, no. This is separate. Oh, it's different than the gangbang in Sheraton. Sheraton's us. Yeah. That's us. That's a quote from you.

Um, [00:09:00] so we did have a quote from Bobby speaking of gangbangs where he said, there's going to be a gangbang in the Sheraton. So once again, come on down to New Orleans. I'm looking at you wandering wolf. pack. I'm looking at you, redhead Derek. Um, I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I thought you were dating, but you're just friends.

I'm looking at you. Nipple piercings. I'm looking at you. Anybody want to calm down? Come on into the hole. It's wide open. And with the weight loss and that's looser than ever. Oh, and just wait. By then I'll be done 40. No, you will. I'll be down like 25. I would say we have another three, four, three, four weeks.

We have, we have a month. I know you will be down another day. I want to be skinny in the airplane too, I can't be like, Oh, I fit in the seat. I'm in first class and I feel like I could take a nap. First class, honey. Cheers to that. Cheers to me. I don't fuck around anymore. Cheers to us right now. We're flying first class to New Orleans.

I'm getting the points. That's the thing. It's like, once you get those points, you just go. No, the points are where it's at. I booked this whole flight with points. Right. So it's like, that's why. It's like, I also use some points because American, I flew first class to Punta [00:10:00] Cana, so all of that. Gee, smart.

Girl, I know what I'm doing. Honey, girlfriend. So we're going to have a gang meeting. I have to share it to him while we're there. But you also But Bobby doesn't share, so I have to find my own. Um, but also on Monday night, I was at dinner and a friend of mine told me, this was a friend that I previously hooked up with.

Oh. Yeah. This is the one that I got in trouble with because I fucked him on The bed. My marriage bed. Oh, ew. So that was Why were you hanging out with him? We learned a new boundary. So we learned a new boundary. Why were you hanging out with him? Who's him? Yeah. Why? Oh, a while back I fucked He's But I fucked, uh, but I fucked, uh Before I knew the full extent of all the And everything else.

And this story is an example of what I've learned. Okay, so we learned, um So you learn it, you live and you learn. But I learned that my friend got a really bad gastrointestinal illness after eating ass at an orgy. Whoa, I'm so shocked. I know, and I this is the second That's why you don't eat ass at orgies, honestly.

This is the second gay guy I know who's gotten Well, actually I don't even [00:11:00] know if he was just blowing someone maybe and got it. Don't say that shit to me. Actually, I don't think he ate ass. Well, they probably were fucking sweaty. Well, when you put your dick in a dirty hole And then put that dick in someone else's mouth, that person This is why I like doing like group showers before hookups, I'm like, Ooh, let's wash each other off.

Same. There is nothing better than a shower first. And then I'll suck your fucking dick. Um, wow, and your husband's in the house. I don't care. Okay, so, New Orleans, uh, gang banging the Sheraton. So he got some kind of disease? He was in the hospital for a week. Now did he lose weight? Oh yeah. He lost over ten pounds.

In less than a week actually. And he probably could have used it. And he learned a lesson, so it was worth it. Time off work, weight lost, and you know the next time you go to an orgy, you don't do ass to mouth. Anal to mouth is not good. At gangbangs and group stuff, I'm just going to get sucked in watch.

I'd rather put on a show. I can touch. I like doing a little grab. I'm just an [00:12:00] exhibitionist. I am too, and honestly, we're Okay. All right. All right. So, um, I actually speaking of like penises and mouths and stuff I don't know if we ever really discussed this. Yeah, and maybe we have but I just felt like I had to bring it up again Just the expectation of what a penis is and then what really happens when you get in front of one Yeah, it's very intimidating.

It's very scary. It's very They kinda just, when the underwear comes down, it's a little, like, floppy doppy. It is kinda like, like, and sometimes it's like skin sticking on the head, like it needs, like, their extra, you know. Yeah, oh yeah, it's still sticking, and the balls are sticking to the thigh. And, really But it's just different than what you think it's gonna be, for some reason.

It's usually worse. I know. It's almost always, like, that's what we're dealing with. Okay, well, I mean, we're here already. Here we are. Here we are. Let's just go ahead. And shove it in my head, and honestly, and I was thinking about that portion of it, though, then I'm thinking there's people like, and I know we've discussed this, but like, yeah, there's a special thing when it comes to sucking dick that if you can suck a dick and you like [00:13:00] it, you're special.

Because I, I know they're out there. There's this like GHGB, like some type of glory hole. Someone, guy, I mean some came from Denver to here. People suck. Yeah, I know. He's in Columbia, Twitter. You know him. Yeah, I've been there. I know he sucks. Like I haven't. Tell me where. Yeah, I would. Oh absolutely. I'd go and get can.

He's up the street. 'cause I see a picture of like all these cocktail. Oh, then he can absolutely. I'll let him film me getting sucked because he sucks a mean dick. He does like that. Oh yeah. But that's my question of some people just talented and can do that where my jaw just doesn't work that way. I had big teeth, I have dry mouth, I have chapped lips and a tight jaw.

I can't suck dick like everyone else can suck. Okay, it's just not going to happen. I'm not a dick sucker. I'm sorry. I try. I have a really good intention. Yeah, like you really are like, you know, it actually hurts me worse than anything. What? It's my neck! My head, the back of my head starts to get like a headache, and I'm like, I'm like, can you fuck my face?

It's the same motion over and over. Yeah, hold it still, and then go. Cause I don't want to do the rest. I need to start taking Advil before I suck a dick. This is our dick [00:14:00] width limit. We have a width limit to ride this ride. You have to, and then the teeth are on the wet. It's like maybe we should make a contraption that helps open the mouth and also block the teeth and a for a full dick suck.

Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, like a like a, um, yeah, you could just be a carved out pumpkin. Yeah, kinda like a carved out pumpkin microwave fist pumpkin and fuck it. You see how it would look? Oh God, it would be so bad. I'd be like my grandpa. Oh, you're so skinny. Now listen. Now listen, this throat is still the same size.

So, I went to the dentist this week, last week. That's funny, my husband's going like tomorrow. And the dentist was hot. Mm hmm. Young, I feel like he was maybe like still I, when they looked down my mouth There was something about him putting his big hands I'm just gonna do a tongue cancer, oral cancer check, and they grab your tongue and move it around, I'm like Mine is when they like kinda like And I can, I'm like, Oh, and their hands are usually bigger than the dental hygienist.

So then you're like, [00:15:00] always. Now that's a man's hand. So then I got measured for a fucking mouth guard. Okay. And I don't know if you've been measured for a mouth guard recently. It's dry as hell. That paste. No, they don't do paste anymore. What? No. And it's better. They do this machine now that takes pictures of your individual teeth and they run it against it.

And they run and they're like, you're doing this. Are you fucking kidding me now? And it's like this big. And they're like. This hot fucking 27 year old comes in he's like, all right, I'm gonna do I was like, oh I was like Oh, no, you're fucking hot. He puts on those gloves. He starts shoving. He's like this might hurt a little bit Just you know, bear with me.

I'll like I'll be right He had their down in the back of my who's like I'll go up and I was loving it secretly I was so hot. He's like, did you just pee yourself? I just feel like no, I can't I came right in my fucking pan Well, you made me think of like I just realized, like, if the man of my dreams, and there are several of them, were to, like, wrestle me, and, like, I were to struggle, and then they, [00:16:00] like, pin me, and started, like, choking me out, or something, I'd probably, I'd be pre coming at a minimum, like, for sure.

I'd be harder. There's several of them. I was thinking like, I wish some of them tonight would be doing it to me, but Wow. 'cause he's done it before, but he probably won't do it tonight. But I, um, so I, me describing blowjob though, that's gonna be a little reel like that. I just realized like, that's a reel.

Oh, when I'm dry, my mouth is dry. Oh, that was a full reel. I didn't, I didn't think of it. I was, you were saying I was like, yes. I was like, oh wait, . I was like, this is gold. Um, I want you to talk about this cardinal situation. I'm skipping the next one. 'cause I have that as actually, um, so. I don't actually know the full story.

Okay. But basically I'm going to tell you the truth, because we have to talk about Pope Francis anyways. Right, let's just get there. Let's just fucking do it. So, one thing, Pope Francis is on a rampage, I actually fully feel like if the other cardinals weren't there, he would just be like, you know what, fuck this shit, we're gonna modernize the church.

It's the only thing you can do at this point, or you're losing people. Yeah, like, it's losing [00:17:00] people, so why don't you just go ahead and modernize it, and like But they're afraid. And then, you know, the bigots. So one of these cardinals was embezzling like millions of dollars in the Vatican. Of course they were.

Probably fucking boys too. So, the Pope, like, got rid of him. Good. As he should. Which is actually, like, surprising because, you know, once you're a cardinal, it's like, you're protected. Yeah, once you're a cardinal, you're Not under this Pope. Because if you're a cardinal, you could become the Pope, right? Well, and that's what I think.

I'm like, fingers crossed. Like, I don't follow it closely because I don't really give a fuck, ultimately. But it's like, fun to follow. Um The current cardinals pick the next pope, but when you're pope, you get to appoint cardinals, okay? And you can, other cardinals retire during your time because they're old.

Yeah. So like, and you can also remove cardinals, which he has removed certain cardinals. There was a cardinal who was criticizing him too much and was too conservative. And Pope Francis, like you're no longer a cardinal. So he doesn't get to pick the next pope. And so that's what I'm kind of wondering.[00:18:00] 

It's like, Oh, he's a God's man on earth. But he gets to pick the people who pick the next one. He's God's man on Earth. So when he dies or retires I'm sorry. Literally, I know. If you watch it, it is so gay. They're like, What's gonna be Peace, marble floor. Uh oh, we've got a white smoke signal from the tower.

They've picked the next pope. Let's put all these cardinals in a little room together. Only homos would come up with a smoke thing. Put them in the Sistine Chapel and see what happens. Let's make some drama. Let's just do some black smoke tonight. Oh, it's black. Oh no, they have to go back in the Sistine Chapel.

It's so gay. Like, the entire Catholic Church is gay. It's gay. But that's leading into this. Now, the Pope says that Priest can bless same sex unions now. It can't be on or they're they must no no can right? Find a priest who agrees to it. I guess and you also can't do it during a ceremony so it can't resemble marriage It can't resemble marriage So it's like you have to go get gay married somewhere else Then you come to the priest like [00:19:00] in a small gathering or probably not even gathering like probably in private and get blessed Yeah, I'm not really sure why you'd want it, but for those crazy Catholic Gays who are really interested, the Pope has allowed you to be blessed.

I'll pass. Um, hard pass. Yeah, I don't feel the need for that. I don't need to. I haven't felt the need for it in a very long time. Honestly, leaving the Catholic Church might have been the best thing that's ever happened to me. To probably everyone who's ever left it. It's horrifying. And now you want to pretend like we aren't, like, I mean, again.

The levels of control that they have are just, yeah. But do you really believe the Pope is the man that has all the power? Like, if the Pope told you don't vote for Trump, would you not vote for Trump? No, they would. Yeah, right. You still would. That's why, like, they believe in doctrine, but I'm saying I tilt against what they There is a doctrine of papal infallibility.

Papal. Papal infallibility. Yeah. Which means when he is speaking on doctrine Or the teachings of the church, the core beliefs, what he says is infallible. So he could come out and say, you know what, the sacrament of marriage should be open to [00:20:00] all couples. And he could make it an infallibility. And say that you have to believe that to be Catholic.

So sick of like white, um, Right, it's really boring. The European politics thing, mixed with religion, it's boring. It's just old, it's old, it's old. We don't need it, and that's why the numbers are dwindling, and that's why we don't give a fuck. That's why you're like, oh, the gays can come back, we need their money.

No. They would love it. Oh, that's what they want. They want our money. They're like, come gentrify this trashy church. Literally. We already do it to all the neighborhoods around every city, but now they want us to do it to their religions. We do it until the straights infiltrate us and then we're like, okay, you can have it back and they ruin it.

And then we come back and save it. It's ridiculous. No, they're actively ruining the short north. Oh, look at the short north. Yeah, the short north. It's like you have town hall. You have. Axis and union run by a Republican now where melt was it's gonna be a draft Kings place I saw that and then you have parlay down the street.

It's all gambling. It's all straight people shit, you know, they're trying to ruined You know what they're trying to do now to their passing of the student or the student council The City Council is trying to pass a Dora that's all time permanent [00:21:00] So you can drink and walk down the street. They've ruined it.

They're spreading it out to not just the re industry, it's all over short north, all in the Italian village, you can walk and drink. I mean, I'm gonna love it, but also, it's gonna be a disaster. Do you know how many people we have down there who are unhoused currently? Can you imagine if you can just drink at all times anywhere down there, like Hey!

The anger's gonna bubble over the fights. The gays are gonna be all over the place. The gays are gonna be murdered. And this is why I, you know, I made a feel like comment too. There's a lot too. But like I am in a lifestyle change because I'm kind of over it. You're not going down there. I'm kind of over it.

I'm kind of over it. 'cause everybody wants to do food. You're going go to the local pub, you're gonna leave at 8:00 PM to go home to go to bed. You're at that age. I'm not going to the pub. I want to go home and eat healthy. You have to have a local pub. Oh, healthy. Now it's healthy. I had a small thing of mac and cheese.

It's like okay, but that honestly was like my treat

He's trying to lose weight, but he needs treats. Bitch, I only had one hot dog, I [00:22:00] usually have three So the healthy meal was hot dog and mac and cheese. No, that was my cheat meal Whatever bitch. I was testing it for New Orleans. I actually really was, no, I'm not really throwing shade by the way, because when I did Wego v , I, I was like, I didn't eat all day.

That means I can have pizza. I know. So I have two pieces of pizza. I'd be like, I'm so full. Oh, I had two pieces of pizza bottle. The full feeling is a real feeling. It's so good. It's like in the bottom of your gut and you're like, it is so good though. I know, like , I love being skinny. Everyone needs to be on it.

But I wish there was like a place you could go with like. Like we're going to have to split dishes. You know, I just thought of like, we're going to get like roasted for this by gummy bear drop for 20. But I mean, bear drop 20, by the way, or whatever. I know we love you, but we hate you, but we love you. Yeah.

You're like our worst enemy, but you're also, you know, like HRH yelling like that girl. Who's like so scary Republican, but she like, I think she lives in like Chicago suburbs or something. Is it the one that screams all of like, she just. You don't know? You know who I'm talking about. I've sent you [00:23:00] so many memes of her.

Oh yay! Very strongly Republican. She's like, I don't fucking! Or she's like, okay, you fucking losers. Is that the one? She says things about fat people all the time. She's awful. It's really weird. When I drink alcohol now I'm dizzy too, by the way. Yeah, that girl. Yeah, yeah. Like at around three. Hungry at three!

You fat pig! We don't snack! You fat ass! Um, so I go get a Diet Coke. I'm a very shitty personality, and I could get a man over 99. 9 percent of you any day of the week and have them marry me tomorrow. That's the truth. We've already done this. I just love that she's so unhinged and psychotic. But she's funny and she knows it.

But it's like, the things that she talks about, she's like, The reason you guys are so unhappy and all they, them and everything is because you're fat. She's like, if you guys were skinny, you would not be like this. I mean, I'll be honest with you. I think that actually is a really good point. Because if you notice, a lot of they, them's are chubby.

Sorry, I said it. No, I'm not. [00:24:00] Wait. Fucking liar! So, um, anyway, FUCKING LATER! When 4 p. m. Well, I always need to find one because some of the I have the best thing to show you too. But I just think that being aware of yourself Like, being self aware, okay, and not thinking that you are better than the next person is really important, because bitch, you're not.

Like, we are not better than the next person. Like, everyone has, do you see what I mean? And you're disgusting if you do any of those things. You're absolutely disgusting! If you do any of those things, I, this girl is sorry, but like her comments about fats, it's so funny. Like, I love it. I don't love it.

Cause she's toxic, but I'm just saying it's out there for people who need a little chuckle. If, if you want to pretend it's a little chuckle, if you want to, if you like fat phobia, it's out there. Transphobia. Just watch this girl and she's from Chicago. We're at like the 20, like, 20, um, election watch party [00:25:00] for Trump, of course, but I can't decide if it's Florida though.

I don't think it's part of it. I kind of smoke cigarettes and like looks pretty all the time. I really has a makeup line and I feel like that goes from Florida to like the suburbs of Chicago. I feel like she, I feel like she, well, she is friends with gay people. That's why I'm kind of like, like, I feel like she's like the ultimate troll.

Cause you know, there's some reporters that are like, yeah, fuck. Trump, but like literally the ones that are like, they like say what they're yeah. Okay. We have a email this week. Go ahead and read it. All right. Listener email. The subject is confused feelings and a new relationship. We've all been there. Hi, Bobby and Jim.

I'm Alex and I've recently started a new relationship. It's my first serious one, but there's a complication. I keep thinking about a former coworker. We were close, often chatting over at work. I am at work. Chatting over I'm at work. I am. What does that mean? Oh, okay, sorry I'm old. We were close, often chatting over I am at work.

[00:26:00] One night, things got a bit physical. He grabbed me in a way that felt more than friendly. Oh. We were both drunk, and it seemed like we might kiss. But I held back to not ruin our friendship. Oh, that was First mistake. Now, in my current relationship These memories keep resurfacing and I'm not sure what to make of them.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Best, Alex. Sounds like, uh, you have some exploring to do. Alex, what are you doing? What do you mean he grabbed you and then you thought it might lead to a kiss, but you held back. Why did you? This is a fantasy. Why did you hold back? How long ago was this and how long have you been in your new relationship?

Because. All these things matter, and these are things that we need details on, because honestly I I'm done with people holding back. Stop holding back. There's no time. People need to stop holding back. We have one life. You will look back in ten years at this moment and go, I fucked up. There are so many moments in my life I look back and say, Why did I hold back there?

I should have just gone in for the kiss. I should have just fucked him. Just grabbed that dick. I should have gotten fucked in the [00:27:00] car, in the back seat in front of my house. I should have done these things, because now I'm at a point in my life where that's not going to happen. You're old. These situations aren't going to arise, because soon you're going to be with this boring person you just met.

New relationship! New relationship energy! Honestly, it didn't sound like there was much new relationship energy there. It sounds like just another Twinkie met on Grindr. It sounds like you have a really, and I honestly have crushes, like I get it. We all have crushes, but go for them. Just because that feeling, that feeling does not.

You're not gonna find it that often. Alex, you either need to go for it and get a hold of this guy, or you need to move on. But you can't play this game with the new guy, because it's not fair either. Yeah, the new guy is not gonna realize that you're totally not invested. You're like, oh, I'm fucking great at work.

Maybe you are invested in the new thing, but maybe Maybe you can be invested in the new thing and also still have fun at work. You see what I'm saying? Why is it an either or situation? You need to discuss this with your new partner. Because it shouldn't be either or, it should be all of the above. Period.

So, that's my little treatise on open relationships. [00:28:00] Okay. Yeah, I mean, honestly. What do you think? You've had that feeling many times at work. I have too, and I've acted on it, and I don't regret it. I haven't acted on it, and I don't regret it either. At least twice, I've had situations at work where I've gotten to see the other person's dick, and I don't regret it.

Literally. Now, I have a couple things I want to show you. The first one is, we have a gay villain. I mean, we just do. And we know who he is. George Santos? Yes. Yeah, it's him. It's always him. Gen Z loves Trump. Define love. They love Trump. He's an icon. Gen Z loves Trump. Could you say icon again? Who in Congress could you beat in a lip sync battle?

All of them. What song would you do? I will survive. Would you rather shoplift from Sephora or Ulta? Neither. I don't do petty crimes. White collar. Can I list civil rights icons and you tell me what they mean to you? Marsha P. Johnson. Very respectful, honorable person. Respectful and honorable about what? [00:29:00] On all the stances and all the work.

You don't know her. Yeah, I do. James Baldwin. Huh? James Baldwin. Who the hell is James Baldwin? Bowen Yang doing an impression of you on SNL. I think he deserves an EGOT. Nicki Minaj. Queen. You're, are you a Nicki fan? Yeah. Prove it. Pull up in the monster automobile. Gangsta with a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka.

Can you also say that you're an icon? Oh no, you're the icon. No, you're the icon. No, you icon. You're icon icon. Icon. Icon girl. Girl boss. No, say icon again. Icon. UConn. UConn. Is it safe to say you didn't come to the Capitol to make friends? I wasn't there to play nice. I was there to expose the rotten corruption, and I did.

And I'm going to continue to do it. Republicans and Democrats alike, swampy, slimy people selling this country down a river. Who else in Congress is committing fraud? They're all frauds. Name them. Can I name them and you just wink if I Go ahead! Marjorie Taylor Greene. No. Kevin McCarthy. Yes. Lindsey Graham.

Yes. Matt Gaetz. No. Bob Menendez. AbsaGoldbar [00:30:00] Menendez? Dan Goldman. He doesn't pay his rent. Dan is owing 180, 000 worth of rent right now on his 45, 000 monthly rent, which is what most Americans f ing make a year. And do you plan to adopt black? Uh, I, I wouldn't be opposed to it. Especially because I can probably make a black baby on my own, granted my dad, so, and my entire dad's family, because I'm biracial.

I'm not a politician. And I feel like you're lying to me. I'm not a politician. I hate politicking. In the words of Lady Gaga, you live for the applause. Are you like Tinkerbell? If we stopped clapping, would you disappear? No. You wouldn't? No. What could we do to get you to go away? Stop inviting me to your gigs.

Hmm. So no Dancing with the Stars. No. No RuPaul's Drag Race. I have not that invite yet. I'd love to go read a b

The lesson is to stop inviting you places. [00:31:00] But you can't. Because people want the content. This is a new gay villain. And I'm kind of like someone that you would hate in your life. I mean, the shit he says about, Oh my God, did you see, have you seen it? And the people he's best friends with, he's best friends with Marjorie Taylor green.

Hello? Like, does that not, he's a con, no idea. He's a villain. Um, he's a villain, but that's why we're all like, we love them. We love villains. And I'm they do entire like TV series and movies about the villain now, like Maleficent, I want to get. The villain on this show. Behind every villain, there's a real person that's hurt.

It, oh. Speaking of, it's probably coming to Maryville. Speaking of villains, there's, no, oh. No, that's police racing down Main Street. Happens often, um, but this brings me to another point, and we have a lot of gay villains, and there's a new gay villain in the White, well, not in the White House, in the Capitol.

In the Capitol. I love this. Mr, um, Aiden. I don't know how to say his last name. Aiden's got a beautiful hole and I would fuck him anywhere. Whoever was fucking [00:32:00] him, have you seen the It was a big dick. Okay. You saw that? He's hot too. Like But I'm trying He's Oh, you haven't seen the picture of the top? The top?

No. It's out there. It's out there now. He's hot. I was hoping he was gonna be like a senator. He's hot. Kind of. Nope. I'll look for it. You know, he's hot. He's your average looking glasses and beard guy. Okay, so typical white guy, but with a big dick. Um, really big. So really big. Aiden took one for the country there.

Honestly, in the country, for the country in the country. I really don't care. Like there's all these self righteous gays out there posting things like we did not need a spotlight on us right before. an election and you know, they're passing laws and this just gives them more fuel for the fire. I'm like, they were passing the laws without, like, they don't give a fuck.

Hi, C Stormy Daniels and pissing and all that shit, like girl. Grab them by the pussy. They don't care. People don't care. They don't give a fuck about what we do. We should be fucking in the Senate. We should be fucking in the White House. We should be fucking shit up. Fuck up around and find out. Joe Biden's getting pegged by Jill.

We don't care. Dr. Jill. Dr. Jill. Don't show no respect. They don't care. We don't care. I [00:33:00] just think it's dumb that this is such a story. I think it's interesting though. Cause it is kind of like a slap in the face. All the Republicans like, yeah, we're fucking there. We've all, but the thing is we've always fucked there.

J Edgar Hoover. Oh, there's all of these people who are travelers, babe. You got to watch that series. I cry. I really do. I saw a scene. Oh, it's so good. Oh, don't make me cry though. No, it's really good. Okay, I get it. Washington's been very controversial with the gays because the gays actually run a lot of stuff that we, that a lot of people don't understand.

R. E. Lindsey Graham. Mike Pence. Um, there's a lot of gay guys in Washington running things and fucking in the Senate chambers, but then it's not a big deal to me. I don't get it. I really, I'm like, this is what you're worried about. Not when they pass laws that actively harm everyone in this country. You're worried about the bottom taking dick there.

You're like, this is absolutely blasphemy. What happened about that bill that just passed? Remember when they cut food benefits for children and poor people? Like you weren't worried about that, but yeah. Someone getting fucked in there. That's a problem. That's a fucking [00:34:00] problem. So I'm over it. It's self righteousness Fuck, I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck. Fuck me in Congress. Like we don't give a fuck It's just like that teen that stood up in Florida and said he didn't care about that. You remember that Ziegler girl who started Moms4Liberty and her husband I threesome and then her husband apparently raped the girl They were gonna have a threesome with so And that teen stood up and said like, We don't hate you and think you should be fired for having threesome.

We don't give a fuck about your threesome. Bridget, our first ever interaction was when you retweeted a hate article about me from The Nationalist while I was a Sarasota County school student. You are a reminder that some people view politics as a service to others, while some view it as an opportunity for themselves.

On this board, you have spent public funds that could have been used to increase teacher pay, to change our district lines for political gain, remove books from schools, target trans and queer children, erase black history, and elevate your political career, all while sending your children to private schools, because you do not believe in the public school [00:35:00] system that you've been leading.

My question is, why doesn't an elected official, using our money, to harm our students and our teachers for her gain seem to matter as much to us as her having a threesome does. Bridget Ziegler, you do not deserve to be on the Sarasota County School Board, but you do not deserve to be removed from it for having a threesome.

That defeats the lesson we've been trying to teach you, which is that a politician's job is to serve their community, not to police personal lives. So to be extra clear, Bridget You deserve to be fired from your job because you are terrible at your job, not because you had sex with a woman. Just like no one really cared about Bill Clinton getting a blowjob.

Like he was, he was impeached over that. I'm like, so the same men who are cheating on their wives currently are impeaching a president for getting a blowjob. Right. For my, like, I can't, we don't care about the sex stuff. We care about what you [00:36:00] do to people and the laws you pass. It's really funny how sex will then all of a sudden incriminate somebody and it's like, Oh my God.

It's like, wait a second, this guy's been a piece of shit for so long. And again, though, the weird thing is that I just don't feel like if Trump was caught getting fucking, I don't think they would care. No one would care. Um, speaking of, I, not to like change it completely, but there's also something out of Washington.

It's moms for, have you seen this commercial? No. Oh my fucking god, my jaw dropped. Honey, my jaw is dropping. Okay, here's the commercial.

And it's fantastic. It's very powerful stuff. Take a look at it. Watch this. Also, he's pink. Dark haired pink. Watch. The number Can you read it out loud? The number one killer of children in the United States. He's not drowning. Or car wrecks. Or cancer. Please. Please, God, save her. Do something. [00:37:00] Save her. Please save her.

Please.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. There it is. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts. Prayers. Thoughts and prayers!

The number one killer of children in the U. S. is gun violence.

Thoughts and prayers are meaningless. When you can act. So basically the whole video for our, obviously our listeners is There's a kid that falls into the pool and the mom runs out and can't do anything because obviously like kids who are getting killed by guns The moms can't do anything. No. So she's sitting there upset, like, praying to God, like, Please, God, please don't want to be my kid.

Thoughts and prayers. And everybody's like, thoughts and prayers, honey. Doing their life, living their lives, right there on the hot tub. Nobody's saving the kid, though. And this is [00:38:00] like When you, when you look at other, people always say, well you can't do anything, there's already so many guns out there, we can't do anything.

No, you can, because the UK did it in the 80s and 90s, Australia did it as well. They forced, Australia forced people to bring their guns in to be destroyed. And now they don't have gun violence. They literally do not. They don't have school shootings. They don't have shootings in movie theaters. In Las Vegas at a concert.

In a synagogue. In a church. I mean, we are able to be killed at any moment by one crazy person with a gun. Because we allow guns. Choice in this country? The choice is that we're not doing shit. That's the choice. The choice is, we don't want to change our laws because our sacred constitution Thoughts and prayers.

Made by a bunch of slave holding, women hating men, white men, with property holdings, in the 1700s, wrote this thing called the Second Amendment. And we must stand by what they wrote because it's freedom. Proper training. [00:39:00] What the fuck? Proper vetting. Proper everything. They're not. They're not following it.

We have psychopaths walking into a Walmart, buying an AR 15, and then These gun shows, they don't even check ID or anything. Anything. It's the dumbest shit. You can go on fucking But it's my God given right! It's my God given right! We should try to buy a gun, just to see don't have to try. I mean, literally, we don't have to try.

Like, I want to actually see. You don't have to. You can walk into a Field and Stream and buy it. Cabela's you walk. I said, Hey, I want to AK 47 because I want to shoot. They will sell it to you. Oh my God I want to try it just for it's your God given rat This is my second name. God damn it. Give me my motherfucking gun.

This is our country We're like, this is this one is important to protect. We must protect our gun rights. Now, speaking of like freedom of speech and freedom of I have some things to say and yeah We got to get into this controversy that you Okay, so there's a firestorm right now on gay Twitter, and I know you all know about it.

Um, you know that like meme format where [00:40:00] there's a brick wall, usually gray, white, and then someone fills up little balloons that are like in the shape of letters, and they spell out a phrase. Okay, so this phrase was on a wall with a little faggot standing next to it. An old faggot, actually. And it said, Every city has a group of OnlyFans gays, but it said OF gays, who think they're local celebrities.

And I cannot tell you how many posts I saw that were like, that's mean. How dare you? Oh, wow. From all the creators. Wow. From all the content creators who are jerking off. Girl, you're just showing your hole. You're showing your hole and jerking off. You're masturbating on camera. That three minute clip of you jerking off in the shower is not really life changing.

Like it made you three dollars a month. So I was at a party over this past weekend. It was a holiday party where all the local gays went. I mean, you would recognize most of them. That's why I wasn't invited. Well, right. But it's one of those things where, like, I know their faces and I know they're, they're alt twitters and I know they're only fans handles, you [00:41:00] know, their hands based on just like seeing, I know they're tattoos based on them jerking off.

Um, but I. When they came to the party it was so clicky. Was it a gaggle of like gaggle. There were three different gaggles actually where I was like, well you two have an OnlyFans that I'm not subscribing to. Was it Midwest FM? Uh huh, some of them And then some other of from the popular the girls who go to AWOL and have afties You've already seen some of their dicks.

Girl. And it's just like the way that they, one group walked in I'm talking to my husband and like This other person I know and her spouse, and we're just talking a table having some snacks because like they host a really good party. It's Tobias and Wes Matthews. Like it's like the best party in the town.

I'm not saying best. I'm saying it's a great party. It's catered. There's cocaine on the table. No, no, no, God, not like that. No, they bring, the people who come bring it, but they don't have that. And, they, one group walked in, and in the middle of [00:42:00] me, like, telling a story, I hear

people just screaming. For what reason? Because they saw someone that they recognized. Stop. So, yeah. So, all the collabs that haven't happened yet, the collabs are happening. And it just made me remember that little meme. So, I have some questions. I'm like, How much are these local gays making? Because I still lead.

From what we can tell on social media, really shitty lives. They're still posting things that are very cringe. And they're still only charging like 4. 99 a month to see pictures of them on their bed in a jockstrap. Now, this one is the one that got me this week. Let me see it. Let's see it. Okay. It says, Hi babe, welcome home from work.

And it's him and his jock and his jeans. Fat ass. Girl, we know you're not waiting home for this. Okay, first of all. First of all, no one's walking into the house. Going. Yay. I mean, he's hot. I'll give him that. Yeah, this is this. Well, you can [00:43:00] I mean, I'm sorry. That's That's supposed to be hot. So I mean it may be to some people I don't know why you're looking at my celebrities Oh, they're just on Twitter naked, but they act like local celebrities because when you even talk when you say hi to them Which I did I tried I started to say hi to someone that I recognized It's a local Columbus gay who I know has an only fans and I was just like, oh, hi.

How are you? And What's this? So I wrote Yeah. Yeah. So I wrote him and I said, Hey, would you be interested in a project? I'm trying to do be you and 12 of your favorite content creators in the area to film to like, I was trying to do hump festival. Right? Right. Like a normal creative thing. Hi, thanks for offering, but I'm not interested.

Good luck with your search and video. Do you want to know girl? These people get no traffic. Like, they are not making more than 30 a month. I'm telling you. I will say, I will say, I did some research after you gave me your bullet points. The average, um, OnlyFans creator can vary [00:44:00] widely. So, you gotta imagine, there's people that make millions and that make 2.

Now, and I want you to re Also, keep in mind that the data might be based on straight people. Because some women are doing very well for the straight guys. I've specifically tried to research male. Yeah, they're Uh, average is approximately 2, 000 a month. But it differs significantly based on the various factors.

So, basically, you have people who are making 1, 000, 000 and people who are making 2, 000. And we're right in the middle of that 2, 000 basically. That's the average. I always go to their Do you ever go to their pages and see how many likes or whatever they have? I mean 18. Stop. No. Those people. No. I thought you had like thousands.

No. They don't have thousands. That's what I'm saying. And that's my point. Why are you going to pay for the milk when you can have What's it called? Why pay for the milk when you can have the cow for free? Right. Like, I'm going on your Twitter and seeing your asshole already. Don't need it. I don't need to pay to watch you go Literally, there's like 20 minute videos of every single one of these creators getting fucked on Twitter for free.

I don't know [00:45:00] why anyone would pay to see more. Like, they're not posting better things. Do you know what I'm saying? And the other thing is, which I've done and I'll admit to, oh, it's fine. I will subscribe for a month and then right away off the renewal. Right? Right away. Right, right away. So I pay what you wanna see, four to $5.

I see what I need to see for their past year. Why would icontinue year and a half? Why? To subscribe. Yeah. And I'm like, that's, I'm good. That's not worth, continually paying a monthly fee. More, Tim. It needs to be more like, um, it's not fun. Fans for me would be like if we went up to Ohio State and got people to show their dicks and jerk off like and Every single video was a different guy now that is worth paying for paying for that's worth paying and that actually could be done through Only fans technically and we could do that and submit all of the monthly revenue directly to those young guys Just to say right if you ever want to come back and suck.

Um, yeah, so that's why so I feel like only fans But my other question is what is it about Gen Z? and younger millennials who really [00:46:00] think that they are porn material. I have the answer. Because we are getting a whole lot of very, very average looking guys. And I can already see the comments being like, you're an average looking guy.

I know I am. I don't give a fuck. I might be less than average, but I still don't give a fuck. I'm trying to figure out though, why they all think that if they show their dick, they're gonna get clout. These people don't look good. I have such an answer for you. These people don't look good. I have such an These people are the guys that go around and when they're in clothes and they're the horse face comes at you and you're like, oh, nay You don't want to see your face But they happen to have a big cock and it's pretty So what they do is they use the big cock and try to use it as an advantage So then they get attention that they don't get in real life because they're not that great personality wise They're not that great in their face.

There's something else wrong. Remember the four things. Yep Face, personality, body, cock. You can't have all four. [00:47:00] We know the Columbus The Columbus OnlyFansGays, they don't have even three of them. They have two of four. They have a cock. They have two of four. Some of them are cute. Others, not so much. Like I said, two of four.

It's a 50 50 coin toss. Great cock. That horse face? The horse face? No. And that's my answer though. Keep it in the stable, honey. This is why. Keep it in the stable. Because we're in a generation of like, social media Oh my god, oh my god, So what they do is they're getting attention because of their dicks not because of their personality or their face So then they which I mean whatever I mean do what you gotta do.

God bless you. God bless you Good for you. Now, but I know in ten years you don't have a retirement plan. You don't have a 401k You have nothing going for you in life, but that's what you had a You had a booming only fans business when you were 23, $30 a month you're bringing in now, and then you're answering phones for some other collection agency or nationwide, like, you know, a lot of gays do.

It's not a career, by the way. It's not a Oh, do I know ? Like I know a lot of rich gays that [00:48:00] do like tele telecommunication something, right? Like they hire, like, yeah. It's, it's, it's a scam. It's sad. Um, it's sad. We should do it. Um, but. Yeah, OnlyFans, I mean, I would do it. And I think the thing is, is that if you're I think I could get away with it and make money.

Only because A little flicky flick. Because I'm a novelty. I'm not normal. I'm not your typical guy. You're not. I'm not. I period. You're really not. I'm really not. You're really not. I'm not. You're not. I never will be. When you're 6'5 and a size 15 foot, honey, I should be selling my socks. My dirty socks to people.

If you want to buy my socks. I have holes in my socks. Why do you think I have two different types of socks on right now? You know what's crazy is I'm having a real struggle with socks lately. Do you struggle with socks? I can't find a fucking pair. I lose them all the time. I'm having a sock struggle. And I sent a meme to my husband.

Because I asked Santa for socks and underwear. Is this bad? Did you ask? I won't, but here's what I asked [00:49:00] list, socks and underwear. But I'm kind of a con. I asked for strictly bombas. Ha ha! That's not a con. They're so expensive. Wait, should I have done that? Yeah, probably, because the bombas are the best. My husband just went sock shopping yesterday.

Oh, cry Haynes. And it's fine. No, no. I give homage. Oh, that's probably just as well. Honey, feel these. I didn't know that homage Feel these right now. Feel this. Oh yeah, that's like bomba. These are two years old. Feel them. Yeah, that's like bomba. Right. Oh, I didn't even get to my homage. Homage? These socks are, feel these, feel these.

Is it these? Them too. Grab them, grab them here. Oh, fuck. They're thinner, these pair, but they're soft. Are they soft? Yeah, they feel like Bambas. And they're two to three years old. I know, I've never had a Bamba. You're like, have you ever had a Bamba? No, have you ever had a Bamba sock? Girl. Bamba! Once you have a Bamba, you never want to go back.

Okay, is this true? I'm not kidding. It feels like there's like, No, we have a Bonobos on High Street. I was like, do we have a Bomba nearby? Now, are you having that? Yes. Okay, I'm just checking. You wanted a sip? Yeah. Oh, just cause [00:50:00] I'm, um, acting like a standard adult now. No, you're not. No, you're not. You're acting like a teetoddler.

You're acting like a teetoddler. Are you a teetoddler? Tell the truth. I was feeling a little nauseous a little bit ago. He's a teetoddler. So. Um, well, this is gonna be like when I try red meat for the first time. I'm gonna get an upset stomach. Um, I want to say one other thing. Go ahead, let it all out. I have a new coworker.

Again. And, again, it goes back to the same Lots of instability in this place. Okay. Well, it's the replacement of my Oh, good. So you hired another, um, welfare queen. Welfare queen? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is like a direct, um, we're parallel with each other. It's like The one that I thought was hot, the one that I thought was hot, left, left, so this is the new one.

So you gotta have a new one, okay. Same initials, not the same look, um, at all. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how to read it, but I have all of a sudden though, gone [00:51:00] back into the closet, and I just really can't, and my sundry also fucking nails this shit on the head, but I just like, I don't like, The pomp and circumstance of a new person coming in and it's like so where'd you go to school?

Oh, where are you from? Do you have a wife? Where were you born? How are your kids? Oh, oh, you don't have a wife? Oh, I don't want to come out any fucking more. Oh, you're a fucking faggot! And I'm sitting here thinking like, and I work in an industry that is not a lot of faggots. At least on the surface. Now, within the, I'm sure there's a lot of suck in deck.

Actually, especially within the packing and shipping department. Oh, fuck. They're back there packing and shipping. Shipping that load. So, I just wanted to discuss again, and I don't know like, I'm just so annoyed. I think you're bad at coming out, is the real thing here. Like, we're blaming everyone else, but you.

Do you think it's me? You're bad at coming out. I am, I'm, I'm uncomfortable. Now, I throw Oh my god, maybe I'm un, Maybe I'm homophobic. Unaware, unalight, you're homophobic. [00:52:00] Homophobic. No, you're homophobic. At work now, I throw around husband in everyone's face. I'm like, and my husband! Yeah, I mean I'm literally like, oh, and my husband worked for the railroad!

I mean, let's get honest, if we were walking And people are like, what? If people just looked at us, don't even say a word, who would be the gay one? You. I mean, you know, I love how you're just old looking. I look like I love hot dads. Like I, that's clearly gay. Okay. Wait till I'm so skinny that really how skinny skinnier than you.

Oh, really? Oh, when you're gonna be like, Oh, can we get a taste? No, you're gonna always, you're always gonna look big. Well, yeah, my body's you're tall. Yeah. Sorry. No, I'm always, I'm always a skinny one. Just let me be. I don't know. I actually, you're kind of thick. I am. You're not little. No, my upper body. It's not a bad thing though.

From nipple to back fat. It's when I go, when I was at the fuck and when I was yesterday, I was getting a shower and I lifted my arm up and looked from here to here. There's like, so there's this problem behind the shoulder blade that it like, so this is my back [00:53:00] from the top, from where the armpit is. It goes.

And it's like a little ball, like a ball. No, it goes. Yeah. Yeah. Like a little sack. It's a saggy sack. But like a fat, fat fuck. I was like. I went like this. Like a chicken wing, girl. Fuck. Now. No, but it's not on my arm, but it's on the back. I know, it's like you're talking about, because in the video. Back rolls.

When I was going. It was literally. Back rolls. Girl, if I was going to judge anyone, I'd judge you on that body where the shoulders should match them hips, but they don't. Ha ha. Gatorade. Girl, you had rolls all over the place in the back. It was disgusting.

Back rolls? When I was in Punta Cana, I was going Back rolls? You could see it shaking and I'm like, ooh. I know. We have back fat. Back rolls. Neither one of us are ever going to be skinny, but I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Now I know what you mean. Tell the truth. Are you good at coming out or not?

You're not good. I'm terrible. Terrible. So, how do you even do it? You're like, I have a partner of nine years. I was like, well, that's awkward. I'm like, well, you didn't [00:54:00] tell me about someone that you've been with for nine years until now, three months in. Huh. Bobby's a real, maybe, then they think you're shy about it, then they're embarrassed for you.

But you're like, because you're not allowed to share it. I just, again, my biggest thing is I want people to know me for me, not for my sexuality. I don't really care what you're doing. It's homophobic. I'm homophobic. Yeah, you are actually like How do I get over this? Just tell them, by the way, I'm gay? Yeah, because obviously a big part of your life, because your personality revolves around being homosexual.

Does it? Like, look at you. Back row. I don't think my personality revolves around being homosexual. Everything you send me is about homosexuals. So do you! So I'm like Your whole life is coming home to your partner, who's a man, sucking dick, watching like, gay shows, having gay heroes, and gay icons as your people, the music you like, I don't like the gay music, bitch.

We're going to Gay Ski Week in Utah, like, everything about us is very, very gay, but you're like, Um, yeah, I happen to have lived with this man for eight years, I don't know what he is [00:55:00] to me, not really a husband or like a boyfriend, but he's like a partner, I do suck his dick. Um, occasionally. Occasionally, but occasionally I'll take a dick if I'm in a good mood.

Oh yeah. And especially now it's like you are very, very gay. Like you need to just release it out to everyone around you. You have a fucking like music note tattooed on your arm like you're gay. That's like honey and a peach. I think the peach is And a peach. Yeah. The peach is more gay. Yeah. Like you're talking about the fact I just did this.

You're, yeah, you're just did this. That's a classic bear move, to be honest with you. That's my, that's my look where I'm like, that's the bear move. Oh fuck. We're going down to the Sheraton to have a gang bang like you we're gay. We're gay. We're playing the whole New Orleans around. Dick, we're right. I'm making gay shirts for New Orleans.

Like you need to let your freak flag fly. And I do though. You do. You very but's. Not from the straight people though. You're like, I played basketball in high school. Oh, I was on a Look at me. I played AU in travel team baseball. Hi. I'm a travel team. Are Hi. Oh, I'm from Georgia. He's like, so you're a faggot.

Got it. Yeah, like, um, Like, I was sucking dick when I was ten. I really like Team Showers, um, Honestly, It's easier to get [00:56:00] at all the dicks at once. I never did. We never had to, and I never did. What? I never had a team shower. I hate you right now You were on a team sport, but you never did a team shower I'm kind of sad about it now that I think about it, but in our school the showers were like never used Nobody showered.

When I was in college, I used to go to the, um, rec center. Because it was team showers Not because it was team showers. Well, it was group showers. Yeah, the showers were open There's no stalls and I would just go and pretend to shower for like 45 minutes. I would be Showering. Because they'd leave and you don't even know you're still in there.

And people would come in and out and in and out and I'm just like I just got here. Oh, I used to do that at LA Fitness, babe. I would go, oh, I would go swimming and then go back to shower again and then go swimming. And then go back in the sauna and then go shower again. Uh huh. Because nobody's watching.

Most people are like. No, no one knows. I'd go on the elliptical for 15 minutes and then I'd go shower again. Then I'd go back to the, back to the swimming pool and swim a lap. Then I'd go shower again. [00:57:00] I literally saw Oh, we're so deprived. No, but also touched. Like, there were times Yeah, oh, I jerked off in the fucking I came in the sauna at LA Fitness, okay?

Like, I literally You're so dirty. I came with another man, like, we were like, oh, fuck yeah. And I was like, yep. And I'm like, sweating, pouring. It's in my eyes because I'm You're like, I've been in 180 degrees for the past I'm like dizzy, I'm shaking, I'm like, I'm losing weight. Yeah, I had my foot sucked on in the song and in a steam room because the guy had a foot fetish.

I never told you that. I don't think I'm going to tell you something right now and you're not going to like it, but it's happening. Anyways, we are going to go to Club Columbus on a holiday. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. We're going to rent a room. No, no, no, no, no. You're bringing a backpack. We're renting a room.

We're bringing mics. We're strapping up. We're recording. We're going to go find people, bring them back to the room that we rent. It's not expensive. It's cheap. Do a little interview. Go back out. Have some fun. Come back in. Interview. Yeah, I thought about it. I've been [00:58:00] thinking about this. This is one of his bits.

I've been thinking about this for months, but I'm like afraid to tell you, but I think it should happen because it's not expensive. It would be good. Why don't we do it in New Orleans then? No, because this is cheaper than a trip. We can do New Orleans and this. No, but I'm saying like, in New Orleans go to a bathhouse.

Yeah, we'll do that too. I would rather go where there's nobody that I know. I don't like it. I hate to tell you, but you're not going to know anyone at this bathhouse either. Club Columbus. The people we know don't go there. I've been around. I've been there once, and the people who go there don't. We've only been there once.

You've been there zero. But I know how bathhouses work. No you don't. Um, anyways, next topic! Wow, so, we're wearing sundries already. We're wearing sundries. Mine correlates with the last conversation. You gotta go first, cause you never go first. Okay, so, today. Today is the day. I always go first. Today is the day that lives in our memories.

Do you wanna go first? No, you go first. Okay, so Another thing that I really can't stand. I realize this today is when people put up posts about other people. For [00:59:00] example, I read a post today about a retired person that was retiring and there was a younger guy who's kind of douchey. And he's like, the younger guys retiring or the older guys.

Okay. When I first met Tim, he was this whole big fucking spiel about how great this person is and really just stroking his cock. And I'm thinking to myself, Why but I mean, okay, it's public forum, right? Right, but then it got me thinking I hate when there's like a new hire And they sent an email and it's like Let me read my quote read the quote Mike and his wife Stacy have three boys and are around the ballpark at any given weekend day, I Don't give a fuck who you're fucking.

I don't give a fuck about your fucking Mike. He's fucking Mike. I don't know. I'm not kidding Like, he's probably fucking mine. But I'm just saying though, like Have you ever felt the urge to write some No, this happens all the time though. This happens all the time. He's a real stand up guy. I've been to church with him for the past five years.

And [01:00:00] he is, and I'm like So, I'm supposed to believe that you're just friends, but you have to post this very public obituary about him? Like, no, I don't believe it. I know what you're doing on the weekends. So and so's been promoted. He went to LaToya, or LaToya? He went to LaToya University to learn how to snatch these claws.

He's got his masters in communication. His wife Terry loves to cook on the weekends while his kids frolic around at horse camp. It's like, I don't give a fuck about any of this. And that's why I'm waiting for my promotion because what are you going to goddamn say? He didn't finish college, he's a faggot, and he's not eating and starving himself.

When you said, when I got my promotion, when I get my promotion, I just thought, when is that going to be? I've already been promoted like three times. Right. Um, Oh, where's the soliloquy? Where's the little obituary? Where's the write up? Well, they don't want a write up about faggots. [01:01:00] Right. But weird, I just can't come out.

Is it because you never come out? And so they don't really know what to say? No, my work knows. They'll ask me about my goal. Is it because you don't share your life with them? No, I totally do. And they don't know what to say? If you want to be honest, you know what my boss said to me? I'm just going to say this too.

Just go ahead and fucking say it. He's gone. I was talking about a girl in a different location. And I was like, that bitch is going to get the fucking ops manager job. I said, she's got the wool pulled all over your fucking eyes. And my boss looks me dead in the eye with and there and goes, Oh, so she's pulling a Bobby.

First of all, I'm the most transparent person at work at this point. Like, to be honest with you, like I tell stories about truly, truly just how you struggle with coming out. Yeah. But that doesn't mean I'm not transparent and I'm not shady at work, right? My work speaks for itself. Oh no. We're really having a therapy session here.

I love that I love that. It pissed me off to a point where I was like, so other people think that you're pulling the wool over their eyes. You're not revealing yourself. Remember my narcissistic boss. Oh yeah. He's trying to pull me down. [01:02:00] I got you guys ice cream in the freezer. It's like, yeah. Like, so anyway, he said that.

And I was like, I go, really? I go, what made you say that? And he got beat red and left. Cause he doesn't know what to say. Cause you called him out. He's a narcissist. You are the one that's pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. I got a pizza party and ice cream for you. And you guys all hate me. It's like, okay.

Like, it's been promoted to the, and his daughter's a lesbian. This is Bobby's Rampage. Let's skip ahead a little bit. And we're just not sure about ourselves, so we're gonna turn to God. And if you turn to God, honestly, when you become a freak, you are a freak. Period.

Yeah, I think that that's true. Um, and I'll tell you why afterwards. Okay. Um, your sundry is going to be interesting because I'm excited to hear it. My sundry. You just got so excited. I think everyone listening knows this. Hi, Gay. Hi, Gay. Because my sundry is, isn't it [01:03:00] a treat and isn't it fun to sit by Tables where a first date is happening every single time.

I can just tell you right away from the outset, it's not going to work. I am listening to so many last night. I had an Indian straight guy talking to a white girl and he's just like, no, this is not what I expect from my children. I will tell them when they are older, but definitely not right now. And she's just, she's going like.

Oh, okay. Well, I was thinking that we would raise them this way. I mean, I would want my children to know. No, definitely not the 18. And she's like, um, okay. Well, it's so cringe. I'm sitting there trying to like eat my side dishes. Like, um, what was that? I'm like leaning back. Like, Ooh, girl! Okay, I'm eating mac and cheese, bye.

Oh, you gotta raise your children! I mean And he's like, no, definitely cannot do [01:04:00] this, they cannot have sex before the marriage. And it's like, um So, you're trying to date a white woman, and you're coming from like a Hindu world. We all know that you're not going to be able to marry her, so why are you trying?

Literally, last night, I was judging them so hard, I was like, why is this even a date? I think it is so awkward. I was like, I want to ask little, um, Rajeev, uh, like, did his parents approve this date? Because They didn't. If they didn't, it's absolutely not going to work. And this is not racist, I just know so many No, not at all, we know Indians.

I know so many Indian boys who go on dates with white girls and it doesn't work. You know who I'm talking about, our friend Oh, I don't even want to go there. You don't even want to go there, but you know, but you know who I'm talking about. One hundred and fifty percent. It was never going to work out, and she's Um, so, I'm just saying though, when you see a first date and you know it's not working, Isn't it hard to look away?

It's hard to look, you see the car crash, you see the car crash, you see it happening, and you're like, They're like sitting different, they're like, [01:05:00] Hey! Oh, well, I just didn't think that God would want that, uh, uh, Can you please pass me the, uh, the butter? Literally, last night, I was having panic attacks for the girl.

Like I was literally, I felt so bad for her. Feel you? I said, I told my husband, oh, I said, Matt, I go, Matt, do hear this behind me? He's like, not really. I'm like, of course he's not paying attention. No, nobody. I would've been all in. I I was, every bite was like, no, you don't know. No, no, no. And she's probably like, like Amy, like.

The second half of the date was absolute silence. They were just, it was chewing sounds. It was just chewing sounds. That's when you're like, yeah, I was like, I, I've got to go. I've got to go out of the room. I was like, dude, dude, dude, but I had to listen. So my sundry is if you're going on a first date and it's not going well in the first 15 minutes, like don't make it last, just call it.

Just say. Actually, I'm really like, I'm not feeling well. I've got to go home. Like, I don't think you [01:06:00] do that. I think you like you to say it's not going to work out. You know, this is, I really appreciate the effort. And I really appreciate like that. We came out. I'm glad we both gave it a try for me. This is just not going to work.

And I, and I don't want to make it any more awkward than it already is. So I'm going to go ahead and just, um, I'll go and pay my half. Um, okay, that's bold and good night to me. Now, if you're not comfortable with that, then just bow the fuck out like an Irish goodbye. You can do that when you're the hot one.

Well, and that's the thing. I don't know what it's like to not have a good day. Imagine if you're not the hot one like this poor Indian guy last night when you're not, he was not. The problem is when you're the hot one, you don't ever have a bad day. Really? Well, well, I was gonna say I've never been on a bad date, and I was gonna say it's because I'm the hot one.

Well, and the only time that I wasn't, have you been on a hot date? Oh, I'm the hot one. Right. But except for I got my heart broken by a hotter one. And that's where I was going to say. And that's why hot people should not be putting themselves in situations where they're not the hot one. And they're not ready.

Well, the other one wasn't. Yeah, you're [01:07:00] right. It was bad, but I still fall by that. I mean, literally we went on our first date and he sucked my dick in the parking lot. And this is somebody you would never have thought was gay. Just saying. When you get touched, sucked or kissed by someone who you don't expect to be gay.

Bagging. to suck my dick, begging nights over the night's over when I said, Oh no, not tonight. I said no because I wanted more and then he fucked me. Um, not that night, but just in the future and then I lost my virginity and I was like, Oh no, I'm a big old bottom. Um, I just went back to so many different memories at once.

That's great. It's so great. Yeah. I don't like when I go on people. I don't like when I come on people. It's just like, no, I don't like when I go on dates that are with people that are hotter than me, like it's really problematic. Honestly, you need to be aware of self awareness. I don't I hate being the chaser.

And you do too. Well, you were in this case, you were chasing. Honestly, I, you were. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, really? I was not chasing [01:08:00] initially. And then I was like. No, it was not. You were full. Bobby. Literally, he begged. Let's be real. I swear to God. On my life. Oh, he loves it. Please. He fucked.

Okay. Yeah. And that's been another episode of Training Rooms. What is this, what is this podcast called? Again, just wanted to do a quick. Did you have a sundry? I already said it. What was it? The email thing. The. how like people like write the email. They're like, Mike is, Mike went to Penn State University.

Oh yeah. And got his master's in sports management. Forgot. It's like, I forgot. I'm sorry. Totally forgot. Oh, okay. I'm gonna go ahead and repeat myself again. New Orleans come visit us 17th through the 20th because it's 21st, I'm leaving at 5:00 AM. Which is going to be insane! Do you really? You're not going to sleep that night.

So here's what I'm No, we're not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, so the plan for me is when I get Wednesday, I need to have like a quick No [01:09:00] intermission or anything, but just I need to like get into the hotel room and have like a quick refresher. Okay. And then we go Sounds good. We go. We go big.

Wednesday night. On a Wednesday, sure. It's New Orleans, bitch. Honey. Just wait. Hot men are coming out Friday and Saturday. Well, yeah, Friday's gonna be definitely Friday, okay. Saturday might Saturday we might be turned over to Well, Saturday's gonna be a day. I wanna do Saturday Oh, yeah, I like Day. Oh! Okay, I like that.

And then we can end on a good note, and then But I also am trying to think 5 AM. Yeah, it's wait. No, is that the flight or when you have to wake up? That's the flight. Is that 530 a. m? Fuck no, I'm not gonna be going from bar to packing. I'll go home with you and pack. I'll help you I'll literally be fine.

I'll probably pack before I go out that way. I'm ready. I'll probably be drunk as shit I'll probably miss my flight. I might need to change it, honestly. Okay. But I don't want to come home at 9. No, no, no, my flight is at like [01:10:00] 9. At 9? that late. No, a. m. So mine's early. 9. 30 is early for me. I don't normally fly before 11.

I like the early flights. Now, I do want to kind of try to get on an earlier flight on Wednesday, but I don't know if that's possible. Yeah, you better, you better. Because I have a meeting that I'm in. Because I'm getting it at like 1 p. m. And I'm about to like live my life. Or no wait, 11. 30 a. m. I'll be so tired.

No, I'm getting there at like 11 a. m. So I'll probably just like go have a little Bengay. I'll have my thing. I can nap until 5 m. Oh great, of course you're gonna fucking nap. I'm gonna be ready. You're like, Wednesday nights are big night. I'm like, okay. Well, I'm napping before then. No, no, no, no, no. I'm ready to go get fucking hammered.

Well, you can kind of scope it out, but I'm gonna tell you right now I need you to understand where we're staying.

I'm changing over to that other hotel that we looked at. I was actually thinking about like, like the nice sweet one. It's still in the quarter, it's still in the French Quarter. What do, well, I wanna get, I wanna go to like the [01:11:00] Four Seasons. Um, can we just do it? I can't afford it. Well, is it bad? No. What if he chips in?

If he chips in, hold on, hold on. If I chip in Where we're at though? Where we're at is not bad. It's just that's not where we're gonna be the whole time. You're gonna get the experience of Bourbon Street right there, but you're gonna be like, oh, let's go up to this village I'm not getting you're gonna get the whole experience is why we're staying there I'd rather get the experience elsewhere and then have fun in the bourbon but go back to the experience.

Oh, no I don't want to stay off. No, but We're right by the gay bars. That's the only reason why I picked that. We can stumble home. We're literally two blocks from the gay bars. Then we have to stumble home. I'm just worried I'm staying in the I'm just telling you You're like, it's like Times Square, you're gonna love Bourbon Street.

No, it's like Times Square, but no like It's like Vegas! So we've listed two places I hate, and then that's where our hotel is. Do you ever been to Savannah? No. Oh, boy. Um. Oh, fuck me. This is so fucking bad. [01:12:00] I'm trying to think of where it would be, like, comparable. Have you ever been? Okay, like, New York City.

Like, Hell's Kitchen.

Just know that going in. We're gonna have so much fun. No, we're just gonna be high and drunk, and we're just gonna be like, Hey. Honestly, the gay bars are two blocks away. I hope I get beaten up. But honestly, we could just take an Uber out of Bourbon Street. Yeah, we gotta get out. We gotta get out. We're gonna be out half the time we're not gonna even be there, but it'll be nice to be there.

I want to get you in the swamp We're taking that big boat Why I don't want a little why do we want 40 people on a boat because you know how dirty it gets and loud They can't go down any little alleys. They can't find anything. Okay, but like also though you want to find a hot straight married man You can jerk off in the one no, but it's it's more fun when there's like people around.

Okay, we'll get a private tour Do we know anybody? Have you ever been on a private You probably can't afford private tours, but they're always better. Bitch, are you kidding? On a private tour Honey, do you know who I am? I went down the Duomo with Matt in Portugal, and we literally go to [01:13:00] whatever we want. I had like three shots on a boat.

Endless appetizers. Went on a private boat in Punta Cana, so I don't really know what you're talking about. To be honest, right put. Okay. Um, alright, so anyway, this'll been another episode of Out Well anyways, 6 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 six's. That's 6 1 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 6. Or you can also email us like Alex, she's not doing so well@gmail.com.

She's not doing so well@gmail.com or Instagram, dmm us, whatever the fuck you want. Do come to our new YouTube visitors. We have almost 2000 now, by the way. It's like, I know it's getting outta control. It's like kind of going crazy. Welcome to all of you and I hope you're listening from the beginning 'cause there's a lot of episodes to catch up on.

And a special shout out to Gumdrop Billy. Gumdrop baby daddy. Four 20 We love is his actual name. It's like Gumdrop daddy or something like that. He's pathetic. Gumdrop. You know you wanna fuck this pussy. You know where you wanna fuck this mom pussy right here. Okay, honey, this this soccer mom pus pussy, honey.

Wait, what? You feel this? Can you see that? You can't imagine that. You sound like a bunch of soccer moms yelling at kids. [01:14:00] Do you want the soccer mom fupa on your face? Cause I'll do it. Okay, gum drop. Spread these pussy lips. Okay. Goodbye. Have a good week. Oh, Merry Christmas and Merry fucking Christmas. See you after.[01:15:00] 

This week on Not [01:16:00] Well, we talk about Only fans gays being local celebrities. First date tables. Oh, wait. We talk about your first date and how it's not gonna go anywhere. We talk about Indian guys with no game. We talk about the fact that you have to send a fucking email when somebody gets a promotion and talk about their entire sex life.

We talk about getting fucked in the Senate chambers. We also talk about our new gay villain or our old gay villain. I mean, it's kind of the gay villain period. I was like, George Santos is so old. We also talk about porn hub search terms. We talk about the fact that I want to do a gangbang of the Sheraton.

We talk about losing weight on Ozempic lookalikes. And how about your first penis? All this and more. This week on not well, I love that little kiss you to go

back rolls. Check one, check, check, check, check, check, check, check. A little bit down a [01:17:00] little bit down. There we go. Perfect. I think that's great. I think we're great. I think it's great. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of not. Well, I'm Bobby and I'm Jim. We are here with our orange peel fermented wine.

That's correct. It's all the way from Italy from Tuscany. It's got a little bubble too. So it's good for Bobby's. We go be stomach. I'm going to be throwing up later, but actually this might actually not be bad because it's, it's natural. It's for men's natural wine. It's like, um, kombucha, if you will. It's a probiotic.

That's what I was trying to say. Everyone, give us a call. 614 721 5336. That's 614 721 5336. Or email us. Oh my god, why can't I speak English? I was like, is your mic cutting out? I'm weak. Where's your Puffy Piffy? It's right here. I'm worried to Puffy Piffy it. If this is pre Piffy Puff, then Yeah, wait till Puffy Piff.

You're gonna be fucked. I'm fucked. Um, make sure you must she's not doing so well at gmail. com Okay, uh a little [01:18:00] weight loss update I'm down 14 total pounds in two weeks, thank you. That's insane Wow 14 in two weeks. That's a pound a day You are just starving yourself. Babe, I can't eat. Literally. I couldn't even drink.

I can't eat or drink. But isn't it funny? We're like, we're losing weight by starving ourselves. It is funny, but it's also appropriate. You know, It's like a gastric bypass, but I was so afraid. Speaking of starvation, Do you remember Like when we were in about first grade, well I skipped first grade, but about that time for you.

Oh, cause you're so smart. Oh wait, you're older than me, so you remember third grade, fourth grade. Mmhmm. The pictures of the starving kids in Ethiopia. Oh yeah, with the big heads. The big heads. Yeah, every rib showing and like their eyes popping out for 99 cent for one day. You could say, what was that? Why was that so big?

I don't know. Didn't Madonna do something with that too? Or some, but anyways, now we're doing it to look good. So starvation is key. Honestly, just send me to Africa. [01:19:00] Right? They would love you over there. Honestly, you're super white. You're super tall and super goofy. They'd be like, Oh, goofy, big white man.

Yeah, literally you'd be a hit. I'm a hit anywhere I go, and that's, and no offense, but And that's on God That's on God, period And coming up, coming up, you may be a hit in New Orleans Come down and join us, New Orleans New Orleans You can't stay with us, but you can definitely come party with us Well, you can stay with me Or you can fuck Jim, uh, one night only He's gonna fuck you, one night only.

I didn't say anything about fucking. He's gonna suck you, one night only. No, I'm not doing that either. I have dry mouth. Oh, and you know what? I have nothing to offer, like, literally. It's actually something I wanted to talk about. I'm like, yeah, I'm so fun to hook up with. Um, do you wanna Handjob, laying down like Terry Shiavo?

With dry hands? Bitch, I look skinny around this fucking Well, you're sitting like this and Well, cause I'm little. I'm so skinny! Spread out and let the tits hang and it'll look the same. No, you do look skinny. I feel like I just look a little more Everything's put [01:20:00] together. The shirts are looser. The shirts are looser.

The chin's tucked. Tucked and tight and The second chin is tucked. I know, I think I'm gonna have a line here though cause I'm fat. Oh, I didn't think of that. Yeah. No, it's really smaller. Yeah, so anyway, Pornhub this week came out with their annual list of searchable terms, which I didn't look up any of them I'm hoping that you have them.

I had not Okay, but I believe I wanted to do it live because I do know I do know what Ohio's was And I think Ohio's was solely driven by you. Honestly, I feel like this podcast has brought, Ohio the top search of the the year We'll pause for a moment, let you guess. Yeah, go ahead. 3, 2, 1. It's small Cox

Literally Ohio. Ohio. Literally Ohio. And honestly, from what I've been seeing, it's been great. Like I love the small Cox. I actually think Small Cox are making now. Of course I'm gonna lose all this weight and my dick's gonna be look bigger than ever. Like Ale. Yeah, you're right. They're gonna want it to be back in the shell.

I love it because I like when there's a [01:21:00] confident guy with a small cock and he's like. You want this big cock and I'm like, is it big? You and I both know you're lying, but it's the confidence. For me, it's the confidence. For me, it's being able to put it in my mouth without it hurting. And, or making me gag.

Right, like I don't want to throw up on a dick. I've already done that once in my life. Somebody threw up on my dick one time. Well, I didn't throw up a lot. He was like, I gotta go. He was like sucking me and then he's like, I gotta go. And he's like, I was like. You're like, get back on that dick. And then he came back and finished.

Did he really? Yeah. And I was like, you were probably like, sure. Then I thought, oh my God, what if I had a cut on my dick? You have gastric juices in there. I thought of AIDS. From his stomach? Yeah, I used to be so scared of HIV. From the acidic environment of his stomach. I thought, oh my god, what if his throat was bleeding, and then he's sucking my dick, and what if I had a cut on my I was so scared of HIV.

Abe's panic is still real. Like, the conservatives are using it. Oh, they are, and it's just gonna get worse now that we're fucking Oh, we'll get into that. So, let's look up the 2023 I want you to guess something. [01:22:00] How about Michigan? Uh, moms. This is weird. Bondage. Ooh, Michigan. Now, Indiana makes sense. Chubby.

Church? Oh. Chubby. CH. Uh, Kentucky? Bouncing boobs. That makes sense, too. Like, show those tits! Now, West Vir West Virginia? Yeah, what's West Virginia? Nip slip. Which is like, based on their saggy, dirty shirts, they're always nip slipping. Ooh. Georgia is, um, what you'd expect for a southern state. Ebony? Ebony solo.

I knew it. Well, it should make sense, because Atlanta alone Ebony solo so like individual like solo ebony girls fingering the pussies and stuff Um, what about California? Louisiana. What is Louisiana? Yeah, let's look at Louisiana since we're going there. I can't wait since we're going to New Orleans. NOLA.

Whatever the fuck you say it. Big Black Dick. Well. Way to cut to the chase, New Orleans. Well, New Orleans, you know what you want. They're like, uh, Big Black Dick. We [01:23:00] just want Big Black Dick. And that's what made us decide to go there. And that's the reason we're going. California. Yeah, like what about some of the fruit and nut states, like the whole west coast.

Asian stepmom in California. So, okay, so Oregon, what you'd expect for this outdoorsy state. Nudist. Oh, that's hot. Washington, sensual sex. I could see Washington being in a tantra. And where we're going in Utah, Mormon, like, that's boring. The Mormons are looking at Mormon porn. Honestly, though, I would look at Mormon porn.

But like, if you were in Utah, you'd see it everywhere. You are a Mormon in Utah, so why are you looking up, well, I don't know. Yeah, right. Well, New Mexico was Native American. It seems kind of racist in a way, or it's like, we're not racist, but kind of like. But people are racist. But I guess it is what it is.

This is showing the different diversity of America. South Dakota likes shower sex. Texas likes creamy. Of course, you fat fox. Yeah. I want to see what the East Coast is about. New Jersey, Turkish. Delaware, [01:24:00] college. Maryland, glory hole. Do you know what I think? Like, I'm, I can't. Maine is thruple. Which you've been there, so you've experienced it.

I've had a quadruple. I mean, and that's A quadruple's too much. Because it breaks off into pairs. You have to have an odd number. You have to have an odd number for any type of war. I agree with that, because if you don't get the hot one, then you're kind of annoyed, and then you're like, I'll take this one for the team.

Which you did. Which I've taken that twice for the team, because there was another couple that we hooked up with in Vegas that were bears, and know, I know. He arranges it well, he knows what he's doing. He's in, he's in control when it's an orgy situation. And honestly, I'm fine with that. Because when I'm alone, I'm in control.

Um, Speaking of, I have to speak of orgies real quick. Yeah! I had a story happen and be told to me on Monday night. Is this the gangbang? Did I tell it already? No, but it's on here. No, no. This is separate. Oh, it's different than the gangbang in Sheraton. Sheraton's us. Yeah. That's us. That's a quote from you.

Um, so we did have a quote from [01:25:00] Bobby speaking of gangbangs where he said, there's going to be a gangbang in the Sheraton. So once again, come on down to New Orleans. I'm looking at you wandering wolf. pack. I'm looking at you, redhead Derek. Um, I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I thought you were dating, but you're just friends.

I'm looking at you. Nipple piercings. I'm looking at you. Anybody want to calm down? Come on into the hole. It's wide open. And with the weight loss and that's looser than ever. Oh, and just wait. By then I'll be done 40. No, you will. I'll be down like 25. I would say we have another three, four, three, four weeks.

We have, we have a month. I know you will be down another I want to be skinny in the airplane too, I can't be like, Oh, I fit in the seat. I'm in first class and I feel like I could take a nap. First class, honey. Cheers to that. Cheers to me. I don't fuck around anymore. Cheers to us right now. We're flying first class to New Orleans.

I'm getting the points. That's the thing. It's like, once you get those points, you just go. No, the points are where it's at. I booked this whole flight with points. Right. So it's like, that's why. It's like, I also use some points because American, I flew first class to Punta Cana, so all of [01:26:00] that. Gee, smart.

Girl, I know what I'm doing. Honey, girlfriend. So we're going to have a gang meeting. I have to share it to him while we're there. But you also But Bobby doesn't share, so I have to find my own. Um, but also on Monday night, I was at dinner and a friend of mine told me, this was a friend that I previously hooked up with.

Oh. Yeah. This is the one that I got in trouble with because I fucked him on The bed. My marriage bed. Oh, ew. So that was Why were you hanging out with him? We learned a new boundary. So we learned a new boundary. Why were you hanging out with him? Who's him? Yeah. Why? Oh, a while back I fucked He's But I fucked, uh, but I fucked, uh Before I knew the full extent of all the And everything else.

And this story is an example of what I've learned. Okay, so we learned, um So you learn it, you live and you learn. But I learned that my friend got a really bad gastrointestinal illness after eating ass at an orgy. Whoa, I'm so shocked. I know, and I this is the second That's why you don't eat ass at orgies, honestly.

This is the second gay guy I know who's gotten Well, actually I don't even know if he was just blowing [01:27:00] someone maybe and got it. Don't say that shit to me. Actually, I don't think he ate ass. Well, they probably were fucking sweaty. Well, when you put your dick in a dirty hole And then put that dick in someone else's mouth, that person This is why I like doing like group showers before hookups, I'm like, Ooh, let's wash each other off.

Same. There is nothing better than a shower first. And then I'll suck your fucking dick. Um, wow, and your husband's in the house. I don't care. Okay, so, New Orleans, uh, gang banging the Sheraton. So he got some kind of disease? He was in the hospital for a week. Now did he lose weight? Oh yeah. He lost over ten pounds.

In less than a week actually. And he probably could have used it. And he learned a lesson, so it was worth it. Time off work, weight lost, and you know the next time you go to an orgy, you don't do ass to mouth. Anal to mouth is not good. At gangbangs and group stuff, I'm just going to get sucked in watch.

I'd rather put on a show. I can touch. I like doing a little grab. I'm just an exhibitionist. I am too, and [01:28:00] honestly, we're Okay. All right. All right. So, um, I actually speaking of like penises and mouths and stuff I don't know if we ever really discussed this. Yeah, and maybe we have but I just felt like I had to bring it up again Just the expectation of what a penis is and then what really happens when you get in front of one Yeah, it's very intimidating.

It's very scary. It's very They kinda just, when the underwear comes down, it's a little, like, floppy doppy. It is kinda like, like, and sometimes it's like skin sticking on the head, like it needs, like, their extra, you know. Yeah, oh yeah, it's still sticking, and the balls are sticking to the thigh. And, really But it's just different than what you think it's gonna be, for some reason.

It's usually worse. I know. It's almost always, like, that's what we're dealing with. Okay, well, I mean, we're here already. Here we are. Here we are. Let's just go ahead. And shove it in my head, and honestly, and I was thinking about that portion of it, though, then I'm thinking there's people like, and I know we've discussed this, but like, yeah, there's a special thing when it comes to sucking dick that if you can suck a dick and you like it, you're special.

[01:29:00] Because I, I know they're out there. There's this like GHGB, like some type of glory hole. Someone, guy, I mean some came from Denver to here. People suck. Yeah, I know. He's in Columbia, Twitter. You know him. Yeah, I've been there. I know he sucks. Like I haven't. Tell me where. Yeah, I would. Oh absolutely. I'd go and get can.

He's up the street. 'cause I see a picture of like all these cocktail. Oh, then he can absolutely. I'll let him film me getting sucked because he sucks a mean dick. He does like that. Oh yeah. But that's my question of some people just talented and can do that where my jaw just doesn't work that way. I had big teeth, I have dry mouth, I have chapped lips and a tight jaw.

I can't suck dick like everyone else can suck. Okay, it's just not going to happen. I'm not a dick sucker. I'm sorry. I try. I have a really good intention. Yeah, like you really are like, you know, it actually hurts me worse than anything. What? It's my neck! My head, the back of my head starts to get like a headache, and I'm like, I'm like, can you fuck my face?

It's the same motion over and over. Yeah, hold it still, and then go. Cause I don't want to do the rest. I need to start taking Advil before I suck a dick. This is our dick width limit. We have a [01:30:00] width limit to ride this ride. You have to, and then the teeth are on the wet. It's like maybe we should make a contraption that helps open the mouth and also block the teeth and a for a full dick suck.

Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, like a like a, um, yeah, you could just be a carved out pumpkin. Yeah, kinda like a carved out pumpkin microwave fist pumpkin and fuck it. You see how it would look? Oh God, it would be so bad. I'd be like my grandpa. Oh, you're so skinny. Now listen. Now listen, this throat is still the same size.

So, I went to the dentist this week, last week. That's funny, my husband's going like tomorrow. And the dentist was hot. Mm hmm. Young, I feel like he was maybe like still I, when they looked down my mouth There was something about him putting his big hands I'm just gonna do a tongue cancer, oral cancer check, and they grab your tongue and move it around, I'm like Mine is when they like kinda like And I can, I'm like, Oh, and their hands are usually bigger than the dental hygienist.

So then you're like, always. [01:31:00] Now that's a man's hand. So then I got measured for a fucking mouth guard. Okay. And I don't know if you've been measured for a mouth guard recently. It's dry as hell. That paste. No, they don't do paste anymore. What? No. And it's better. They do this machine now that takes pictures of your individual teeth and they run it against it.

And they run and they're like, you're doing this. Are you fucking kidding me now? And it's like this big. And they're like. This hot fucking 27 year old comes in he's like, all right, I'm gonna do I was like, oh I was like Oh, no, you're fucking hot. He puts on those gloves. He starts shoving. He's like this might hurt a little bit Just you know, bear with me.

I'll like I'll be right He had their down in the back of my who's like I'll go up and I was loving it secretly I was so hot. He's like, did you just pee yourself? I just feel like no, I can't I came right in my fucking pan Well, you made me think of like I just realized, like, if the man of my dreams, and there are several of them, were to, like, wrestle me, and, like, I were to struggle, and then they, like, pin me, and started, like, [01:32:00] choking me out, or something, I'd probably, I'd be pre coming at a minimum, like, for sure.

I'd be harder. There's several of them. I was thinking like, I wish some of them tonight would be doing it to me, but Wow. 'cause he's done it before, but he probably won't do it tonight. But I, um, so I, me describing blowjob though, that's gonna be a little reel like that. I just realized like, that's a reel.

Oh, when I'm dry, my mouth is dry. Oh, that was a full reel. I didn't, I didn't think of it. I was, you were saying I was like, yes. I was like, oh wait, . I was like, this is gold. Um, I want you to talk about this cardinal situation. I'm skipping the next one. 'cause I have that as actually, um, so. I don't actually know the full story.

Okay. But basically I'm going to tell you the truth, because we have to talk about Pope Francis anyways. Right, let's just get there. Let's just fucking do it. So, one thing, Pope Francis is on a rampage, I actually fully feel like if the other cardinals weren't there, he would just be like, you know what, fuck this shit, we're gonna modernize the church.

It's the only thing you can do at this point, or you're losing people. Yeah, like, it's losing people, so why don't you just go ahead and [01:33:00] modernize it, and like But they're afraid. And then, you know, the bigots. So one of these cardinals was embezzling like millions of dollars in the Vatican. Of course they were.

Probably fucking boys too. So, the Pope, like, got rid of him. Good. As he should. Which is actually, like, surprising because, you know, once you're a cardinal, it's like, you're protected. Yeah, once you're a cardinal, you're Not under this Pope. Because if you're a cardinal, you could become the Pope, right? Well, and that's what I think.

I'm like, fingers crossed. Like, I don't follow it closely because I don't really give a fuck, ultimately. But it's like, fun to follow. Um The current cardinals pick the next pope, but when you're pope, you get to appoint cardinals, okay? And you can, other cardinals retire during your time because they're old.

Yeah. So like, and you can also remove cardinals, which he has removed certain cardinals. There was a cardinal who was criticizing him too much and was too conservative. And Pope Francis, like you're no longer a cardinal. So he doesn't get to pick the next pope. And so that's what I'm kind of wondering.

It's like, Oh, he's [01:34:00] a God's man on earth. But he gets to pick the people who pick the next one. He's God's man on Earth. So when he dies or retires I'm sorry. Literally, I know. If you watch it, it is so gay. They're like, What's gonna be Peace, marble floor. Uh oh, we've got a white smoke signal from the tower.

They've picked the next pope. Let's put all these cardinals in a little room together. Only homos would come up with a smoke thing. Put them in the Sistine Chapel and see what happens. Let's make some drama. Let's just do some black smoke tonight. Oh, it's black. Oh no, they have to go back in the Sistine Chapel.

It's so gay. Like, the entire Catholic Church is gay. It's gay. But that's leading into this. Now, the Pope says that Priest can bless same sex unions now. It can't be on or they're they must no no can right? Find a priest who agrees to it. I guess and you also can't do it during a ceremony so it can't resemble marriage It can't resemble marriage So it's like you have to go get gay married somewhere else Then you come to the priest like in a small gathering or [01:35:00] probably not even gathering like probably in private and get blessed Yeah, I'm not really sure why you'd want it, but for those crazy Catholic Gays who are really interested, the Pope has allowed you to be blessed.

I'll pass. Um, hard pass. Yeah, I don't feel the need for that. I don't need to. I haven't felt the need for it in a very long time. Honestly, leaving the Catholic Church might have been the best thing that's ever happened to me. To probably everyone who's ever left it. It's horrifying. And now you want to pretend like we aren't, like, I mean, again.

The levels of control that they have are just, yeah. But do you really believe the Pope is the man that has all the power? Like, if the Pope told you don't vote for Trump, would you not vote for Trump? No, they would. Yeah, right. You still would. That's why, like, they believe in doctrine, but I'm saying I tilt against what they There is a doctrine of papal infallibility.

Papal. Papal infallibility. Yeah. Which means when he is speaking on doctrine Or the teachings of the church, the core beliefs, what he says is infallible. So he could come out and say, you know what, the sacrament of marriage should be open to all couples. [01:36:00] And he could make it an infallibility. And say that you have to believe that to be Catholic.

So sick of like white, um, Right, it's really boring. The European politics thing, mixed with religion, it's boring. It's just old, it's old, it's old. We don't need it, and that's why the numbers are dwindling, and that's why we don't give a fuck. That's why you're like, oh, the gays can come back, we need their money.

No. They would love it. Oh, that's what they want. They want our money. They're like, come gentrify this trashy church. Literally. We already do it to all the neighborhoods around every city, but now they want us to do it to their religions. We do it until the straights infiltrate us and then we're like, okay, you can have it back and they ruin it.

And then we come back and save it. It's ridiculous. No, they're actively ruining the short north. Oh, look at the short north. Yeah, the short north. It's like you have town hall. You have. Axis and union run by a Republican now where melt was it's gonna be a draft Kings place I saw that and then you have parlay down the street.

It's all gambling. It's all straight people shit, you know, they're trying to ruined You know what they're trying to do now to their passing of the student or the student council The City Council is trying to pass a Dora that's all time permanent So you can drink and walk down [01:37:00] the street. They've ruined it.

They're spreading it out to not just the re industry, it's all over short north, all in the Italian village, you can walk and drink. I mean, I'm gonna love it, but also, it's gonna be a disaster. Do you know how many people we have down there who are unhoused currently? Can you imagine if you can just drink at all times anywhere down there, like Hey!

The anger's gonna bubble over the fights. The gays are gonna be all over the place. The gays are gonna be murdered. And this is why I, you know, I made a feel like comment too. There's a lot too. But like I am in a lifestyle change because I'm kind of over it. You're not going down there. I'm kind of over it.

I'm kind of over it. 'cause everybody wants to do food. You're going go to the local pub, you're gonna leave at 8:00 PM to go home to go to bed. You're at that age. I'm not going to the pub. I want to go home and eat healthy. You have to have a local pub. Oh, healthy. Now it's healthy. I had a small thing of mac and cheese.

It's like okay, but that honestly was like my treat

He's trying to lose weight, but he needs treats. Bitch, I only had one hot dog, I usually have three [01:38:00] So the healthy meal was hot dog and mac and cheese. No, that was my cheat meal Whatever bitch. I was testing it for New Orleans. I actually really was, no, I'm not really throwing shade by the way, because when I did Wego v , I, I was like, I didn't eat all day.

That means I can have pizza. I know. So I have two pieces of pizza. I'd be like, I'm so full. Oh, I had two pieces of pizza bottle. The full feeling is a real feeling. It's so good. It's like in the bottom of your gut and you're like, it is so good though. I know, like , I love being skinny. Everyone needs to be on it.

But I wish there was like a place you could go with like. Like we're going to have to split dishes. You know, I just thought of like, we're going to get like roasted for this by gummy bear drop for 20. But I mean, bear drop 20, by the way, or whatever. I know we love you, but we hate you, but we love you. Yeah.

You're like our worst enemy, but you're also, you know, like HRH yelling like that girl. Who's like so scary Republican, but she like, I think she lives in like Chicago suburbs or something. Is it the one that screams all of like, she just. You don't know? You know who I'm talking about, I've sent you so many memes of her.[01:39:00] 

Oh, yay! Very strongly Republican. She's like, I don't fucking Or she's like, Okay, you fucking losers. She says things about fat people all the time, she's awful. It's really weird, when I drink alcohol now I'm dizzy too, by the way. Yeah, that girl. Like at around 3. Hungry at 3, you fat pig, we don't snack, you fat ass.

So I go get a Diet Coke. I'm a very shitty personality, and I could get a man over 99. 9 percent of you any day of the week and have them marry me tomorrow. That's the truth. We've already done this. I just love that she's so unhinged and psychotic. But she's funny and she knows it. But it's like, the things that she talks about, she's like, The reason you guys are so unhappy and all they, them and everything is because you're fat.

She's like, if you guys were skinny, you would not be like this. I mean, I'll be honest with you. I think that actually is a really good point. Because if you notice, a lot of they, them's are chubby. Sorry, I said it. No, I'm not. Wait. [01:40:00] Fucking liar! So, um, anyway, FUCKING LATER! When 4 p. m. Well, I always need to find one because some of the I have the best thing to show you too.

But I just think that being aware of yourself Like, being self aware, okay, and not thinking that you are better than the next person is really important, because bitch, you're not. Like, we are not better than the next person. Like, everyone has, do you see what I mean? And you're disgusting if you do any of those things.

You're absolutely disgusting! If you do any of those things, I, this girl is sorry, but like her comments about fats, it's so funny. Like, I love it. I don't love it. Cause she's toxic, but I'm just saying it's out there for people who need a little chuckle. If, if you want to pretend it's a little chuckle, if you want to, if you like fat phobia, it's out there.

Transphobia. Just watch this girl and she's from Chicago. We're at like the 20, like, 20, um, election watch party for Trump, of course, but I [01:41:00] can't decide if it's Florida though. I don't think it's part of it. I kind of smoke cigarettes and like looks pretty all the time. I really has a makeup line and I feel like that goes from Florida to like the suburbs of Chicago.

I feel like she, I feel like she, well, she is friends with gay people. That's why I'm kind of like, like, I feel like she's like the ultimate troll. Cause you know, there's some reporters that are like, yeah, fuck. Trump, but like literally the ones that are like, they like say what they're yeah. Okay. We have a email this week.

Go ahead and read it. All right. Listener email. The subject is confused feelings and a new relationship. We've all been there. Hi, Bobby and Jim. I'm Alex and I've recently started a new relationship. It's my first serious one, but there's a complication. I keep thinking about a former coworker. We were close, often chatting over at work.

I am at work. Chatting over I'm at work. I am. What does that mean? Oh, okay, sorry I'm old. We were close, often chatting over I am at work. One night, things got a [01:42:00] bit physical. He grabbed me in a way that felt more than friendly. Oh. We were both drunk, and it seemed like we might kiss. But I held back to not ruin our friendship.

Oh, that was First mistake. Now, in my current relationship These memories keep resurfacing and I'm not sure what to make of them. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Best, Alex. Sounds like, uh, you have some exploring to do. Alex, what are you doing? What do you mean he grabbed you and then you thought it might lead to a kiss, but you held back.

Why did you? This is a fantasy. Why did you hold back? How long ago was this and how long have you been in your new relationship? Because. All these things matter, and these are things that we need details on, because honestly I I'm done with people holding back. Stop holding back. There's no time. People need to stop holding back.

We have one life. You will look back in ten years at this moment and go, I fucked up. There are so many moments in my life I look back and say, Why did I hold back there? I should have just gone in for the kiss. I should have just fucked him. Just grabbed that dick. I should have gotten fucked in the car, in the back seat in front of my [01:43:00] house.

I should have done these things, because now I'm at a point in my life where that's not going to happen. You're old. These situations aren't going to arise, because soon you're going to be with this boring person you just met. New relationship! New relationship energy! Honestly, it didn't sound like there was much new relationship energy there.

It sounds like just another Twinkie met on Grindr. It sounds like you have a really, and I honestly have crushes, like I get it. We all have crushes, but go for them. Just because that feeling, that feeling does not. You're not gonna find it that often. Alex, you either need to go for it and get a hold of this guy, or you need to move on.

But you can't play this game with the new guy, because it's not fair either. Yeah, the new guy is not gonna realize that you're totally not invested. You're like, oh, I'm fucking great at work. Maybe you are invested in the new thing, but maybe Maybe you can be invested in the new thing and also still have fun at work.

You see what I'm saying? Why is it an either or situation? You need to discuss this with your new partner. Because it shouldn't be either or, it should be all of the above. Period. So, that's my little treatise on open relationships. Okay. Yeah, I [01:44:00] mean, honestly. What do you think? You've had that feeling many times at work.

I have too, and I've acted on it, and I don't regret it. I haven't acted on it, and I don't regret it either. At least twice, I've had situations at work where I've gotten to see the other person's dick, and I don't regret it. Literally. Now, I have a couple things I want to show you. The first one is, we have a gay villain.

I mean, we just do. And we know who he is. George Santos? Yes. Yeah, it's him. It's always him. Gen Z loves Trump. Define love. They love Trump. He's an icon. Gen Z loves Trump. Could you say icon again? Who in Congress could you beat in a lip sync battle? All of them. What song would you do? I will survive. Would you rather shoplift from Sephora or Ulta?

Neither. I don't do petty crimes. White collar. Can I list civil rights icons and you tell me what they mean to you? Marsha P. Johnson. Very respectful, honorable person. Respectful and honorable about what? On all the stances and [01:45:00] all the work. You don't know her. Yeah, I do. James Baldwin. Huh? James Baldwin. Who the hell is James Baldwin?

Bowen Yang doing an impression of you on SNL. I think he deserves an EGOT. Nicki Minaj. Queen. You're, are you a Nicki fan? Yeah. Prove it. Pull up in the monster automobile. Gangsta with a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka. Can you also say that you're an icon? Oh no, you're the icon. No, you're the icon. No, you icon.

You're icon icon. Icon. Icon girl. Girl boss. No, say icon again. Icon. UConn. UConn. Is it safe to say you didn't come to the Capitol to make friends? I wasn't there to play nice. I was there to expose the rotten corruption, and I did. And I'm going to continue to do it. Republicans and Democrats alike, swampy, slimy people selling this country down a river.

Who else in Congress is committing fraud? They're all frauds. Name them. Can I name them and you just wink if I Go ahead! Marjorie Taylor Greene. No. Kevin McCarthy. Yes. Lindsey Graham. Yes. Matt Gaetz. No. Bob Menendez. AbsaGoldbar Menendez? [01:46:00] Dan Goldman. He doesn't pay his rent. Dan is owing 180, 000 worth of rent right now on his 45, 000 monthly rent, which is what most Americans f ing make a year.

And do you plan to adopt black? Uh, I, I wouldn't be opposed to it. Especially because I can probably make a black baby on my own, granted my dad, so, and my entire dad's family, because I'm biracial. I'm not a politician. And I feel like you're lying to me. I'm not a politician. I hate politicking. In the words of Lady Gaga, you live for the applause.

Are you like Tinkerbell? If we stopped clapping, would you disappear? No. You wouldn't? No. What could we do to get you to go away? Stop inviting me to your gigs. Okay. So no Dancing with the Stars. No. No RuPaul's Drag Race. I have not that invite yet. I'd love to go read a b

The lesson is to stop inviting you places. But you [01:47:00] can't. Because people want the content. This is a new gay villain. And I'm kind of like someone that you would hate in your life. I mean, the shit he says about, Oh my God, did you see, have you seen it? And the people he's best friends with, he's best friends with Marjorie Taylor green.

Hello? Like, does that not, he's a con, no idea. He's a villain. Um, he's a villain, but that's why we're all like, we love them. We love villains. And I'm they do entire like TV series and movies about the villain now, like Maleficent, I want to get. The villain on this show. Behind every villain, there's a real person that's hurt.

It, oh. Speaking of, it's probably coming to Maryville. Speaking of villains, there's, no, oh. No, that's police racing down Main Street. Happens often, um, but this brings me to another point, and we have a lot of gay villains, and there's a new gay villain in the White, well, not in the White House, in the Capitol.

In the Capitol. I love this. Mr, um, Aiden. I don't know how to say his last name. Aiden's got a beautiful hole and I would fuck him anywhere. Whoever was fucking him, have you seen the [01:48:00] It was a big dick. Okay. You saw that? He's hot too. Like But I'm trying He's Oh, you haven't seen the picture of the top? The top?

No. It's out there. It's out there now. He's hot. I was hoping he was gonna be like a senator. He's hot. Kind of. Nope. I'll look for it. You know, he's hot. He's your average looking glasses and beard guy. Okay, so typical white guy, but with a big dick. Um, really big. So really big. Aiden took one for the country there.

Honestly, in the country, for the country in the country. I really don't care. Like there's all these self righteous gays out there posting things like we did not need a spotlight on us right before. an election and you know, they're passing laws and this just gives them more fuel for the fire. I'm like, they were passing the laws without, like, they don't give a fuck.

Hi, C Stormy Daniels and pissing and all that shit, like girl. Grab them by the pussy. They don't care. People don't care. They don't give a fuck about what we do. We should be fucking in the Senate. We should be fucking in the White House. We should be fucking shit up. Fuck up around and find out. Joe Biden's getting pegged by Jill.

We don't care. Dr. Jill. Dr. Jill. Don't show no respect. They don't care. We don't care. I just think it's dumb that this is [01:49:00] such a story. I think it's interesting though. Cause it is kind of like a slap in the face. All the Republicans like, yeah, we're fucking there. We've all, but the thing is we've always fucked there.

J Edgar Hoover. Oh, there's all of these people who are travelers, babe. You got to watch that series. I cry. I really do. I saw a scene. Oh, it's so good. Oh, don't make me cry though. No, it's really good. Okay, I get it. Washington's been very controversial with the gays because the gays actually run a lot of stuff that we, that a lot of people don't understand.

R. E. Lindsey Graham. Mike Pence. Um, there's a lot of gay guys in Washington running things and fucking in the Senate chambers, but then it's not a big deal to me. I don't get it. I really, I'm like, this is what you're worried about. Not when they pass laws that actively harm everyone in this country. You're worried about the bottom taking dick there.

You're like, this is absolutely blasphemy. What happened about that bill that just passed? Remember when they cut food benefits for children and poor people? Like you weren't worried about that, but yeah. Someone getting fucked in there. That's a problem. That's a fucking problem. So I'm over it. [01:50:00] It's self righteousness Fuck, I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck. Fuck me in Congress. Like we don't give a fuck It's just like that teen that stood up in Florida and said he didn't care about that. You remember that Ziegler girl who started Moms4Liberty and her husband I threesome and then her husband apparently raped the girl They were gonna have a threesome with so And that teen stood up and said like, We don't hate you and think you should be fired for having threesome.

We don't give a fuck about your threesome. Bridget, our first ever interaction was when you retweeted a hate article about me from The Nationalist while I was a Sarasota County school student. You are a reminder that some people view politics as a service to others, while some view it as an opportunity for themselves.

On this board, you have spent public funds that could have been used to increase teacher pay, to change our district lines for political gain, remove books from schools, target trans and queer children, erase black history, and elevate your political career, all while sending your children to private schools, because you do not believe in the public school system that you've been [01:51:00] leading.

My question is, why doesn't an elected official, using our money, to harm our students and our teachers for her gain seem to matter as much to us as her having a threesome does. Bridget Ziegler, you do not deserve to be on the Sarasota County School Board, but you do not deserve to be removed from it for having a threesome.

That defeats the lesson we've been trying to teach you, which is that a politician's job is to serve their community, not to police personal lives. So to be extra clear, Bridget You deserve to be fired from your job because you are terrible at your job, not because you had sex with a woman. Just like no one really cared about Bill Clinton getting a blowjob.

Like he was, he was impeached over that. I'm like, so the same men who are cheating on their wives currently are impeaching a president for getting a blowjob. Right. For my, like, I can't, we don't care about the sex stuff. We care about what you do to people and the laws you [01:52:00] pass. It's really funny how sex will then all of a sudden incriminate somebody and it's like, Oh my God.

It's like, wait a second, this guy's been a piece of shit for so long. And again, though, the weird thing is that I just don't feel like if Trump was caught getting fucking, I don't think they would care. No one would care. Um, speaking of, I, not to like change it completely, but there's also something out of Washington.

It's moms for, have you seen this commercial? No. Oh my fucking god, my jaw dropped. Honey, my jaw is dropping. Okay, here's the commercial.

And it's fantastic. It's very powerful stuff. Take a look at it. Watch this. Also, he's pink. Dark haired pink. Watch. The number Can you read it out loud? The number one killer of children in the United States. He's not drowning. Or car wrecks. Or cancer. Please. Please, God, save her. Do something. Save her. [01:53:00] Please save her.

Please.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. There it is. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts. Prayers. Thoughts and prayers!

The number one killer of children in the U. S. is gun violence.

Thoughts and prayers are meaningless. When you can act. So basically the whole video for our, obviously our listeners is There's a kid that falls into the pool and the mom runs out and can't do anything because obviously like kids who are getting killed by guns The moms can't do anything. No. So she's sitting there upset, like, praying to God, like, Please, God, please don't want to be my kid.

Thoughts and prayers. And everybody's like, thoughts and prayers, honey. Doing their life, living their lives, right there on the hot tub. Nobody's saving the kid, though. And this is like When you, [01:54:00] when you look at other, people always say, well you can't do anything, there's already so many guns out there, we can't do anything.

No, you can, because the UK did it in the 80s and 90s, Australia did it as well. They forced, Australia forced people to bring their guns in to be destroyed. And now they don't have gun violence. They literally do not. They don't have school shootings. They don't have shootings in movie theaters. In Las Vegas at a concert.

In a synagogue. In a church. I mean, we are able to be killed at any moment by one crazy person with a gun. Because we allow guns. Choice in this country? The choice is that we're not doing shit. That's the choice. The choice is, we don't want to change our laws because our sacred constitution Thoughts and prayers.

Made by a bunch of slave holding, women hating men, white men, with property holdings, in the 1700s, wrote this thing called the Second Amendment. And we must stand by what they wrote because it's freedom. Proper training. What the fuck? Proper [01:55:00] vetting. Proper everything. They're not. They're not following it.

We have psychopaths walking into a Walmart, buying an AR 15, and then These gun shows, they don't even check ID or anything. Anything. It's the dumbest shit. You can go on fucking But it's my God given right! It's my God given right! We should try to buy a gun, just to see don't have to try. I mean, literally, we don't have to try.

Like, I want to actually see. You don't have to. You can walk into a Field and Stream and buy it. Cabela's you walk. I said, Hey, I want to AK 47 because I want to shoot. They will sell it to you. Oh my God I want to try it just for it's your God given rat This is my second name. God damn it. Give me my motherfucking gun.

This is our country We're like, this is this one is important to protect. We must protect our gun rights. Now, speaking of like freedom of speech and freedom of I have some things to say and yeah We got to get into this controversy that you Okay, so there's a firestorm right now on gay Twitter, and I know you all know about it.

Um, you know that like meme format where there's a brick wall, usually [01:56:00] gray, white, and then someone fills up little balloons that are like in the shape of letters, and they spell out a phrase. Okay, so this phrase was on a wall with a little faggot standing next to it. An old faggot, actually. And it said, Every city has a group of OnlyFans gays, but it said OF gays, who think they're local celebrities.

And I cannot tell you how many posts I saw that were like, that's mean. How dare you? Oh, wow. From all the creators. Wow. From all the content creators who are jerking off. Girl, you're just showing your hole. You're showing your hole and jerking off. You're masturbating on camera. That three minute clip of you jerking off in the shower is not really life changing.

Like it made you three dollars a month. So I was at a party over this past weekend. It was a holiday party where all the local gays went. I mean, you would recognize most of them. That's why I wasn't invited. Well, right. But it's one of those things where, like, I know their faces and I know they're, they're alt twitters and I know they're only fans handles, you know, their hands based on just [01:57:00] like seeing, I know they're tattoos based on them jerking off.

Um, but I. When they came to the party it was so clicky. Was it a gaggle of like gaggle. There were three different gaggles actually where I was like, well you two have an OnlyFans that I'm not subscribing to. Was it Midwest FM? Uh huh, some of them And then some other of from the popular the girls who go to AWOL and have afties You've already seen some of their dicks.

Girl. And it's just like the way that they, one group walked in I'm talking to my husband and like This other person I know and her spouse, and we're just talking a table having some snacks because like they host a really good party. It's Tobias and Wes Matthews. Like it's like the best party in the town.

I'm not saying best. I'm saying it's a great party. It's catered. There's cocaine on the table. No, no, no, God, not like that. No, they bring, the people who come bring it, but they don't have that. And, they, one group walked in, and in the middle of me, like, telling a [01:58:00] story, I hear

people just screaming. For what reason? Because they saw someone that they recognized. Stop. So, yeah. So, all the collabs that haven't happened yet, the collabs are happening. And it just made me remember that little meme. So, I have some questions. I'm like, How much are these local gays making? Because I still lead.

From what we can tell on social media, really shitty lives. They're still posting things that are very cringe. And they're still only charging like 4. 99 a month to see pictures of them on their bed in a jockstrap. Now, this one is the one that got me this week. Let me see it. Let's see it. Okay. It says, Hi babe, welcome home from work.

And it's him and his jock and his jeans. Fat ass. Girl, we know you're not waiting home for this. Okay, first of all. First of all, no one's walking into the house. Going. Yay. I mean, he's hot. I'll give him that. Yeah, this is this. Well, you can I [01:59:00] mean, I'm sorry. That's That's supposed to be hot. So I mean it may be to some people I don't know why you're looking at my celebrities Oh, they're just on Twitter naked, but they act like local celebrities because when you even talk when you say hi to them Which I did I tried I started to say hi to someone that I recognized It's a local Columbus gay who I know has an only fans and I was just like, oh, hi.

How are you? And What's this? So I wrote Yeah. Yeah. So I wrote him and I said, Hey, would you be interested in a project? I'm trying to do be you and 12 of your favorite content creators in the area to film to like, I was trying to do hump festival. Right? Right. Like a normal creative thing. Hi, thanks for offering, but I'm not interested.

Good luck with your search and video. Do you want to know girl? These people get no traffic. Like, they are not making more than 30 a month. I'm telling you. I will say, I will say, I did some research after you gave me your bullet points. The average, um, OnlyFans creator can vary widely. So, you gotta [02:00:00] imagine, there's people that make millions and that make 2.

Now, and I want you to re Also, keep in mind that the data might be based on straight people. Because some women are doing very well for the straight guys. I've specifically tried to research male. Yeah, they're Uh, average is approximately 2, 000 a month. But it differs significantly based on the various factors.

So, basically, you have people who are making 1, 000, 000 and people who are making 2, 000. And we're right in the middle of that 2, 000 basically. That's the average. I always go to their Do you ever go to their pages and see how many likes or whatever they have? I mean 18. Stop. No. Those people. No. I thought you had like thousands.

No. They don't have thousands. That's what I'm saying. And that's my point. Why are you going to pay for the milk when you can have What's it called? Why pay for the milk when you can have the cow for free? Right. Like, I'm going on your Twitter and seeing your asshole already. Don't need it. I don't need to pay to watch you go Literally, there's like 20 minute videos of every single one of these creators getting fucked on Twitter for free.

I don't know why anyone would pay to see [02:01:00] more. Like, they're not posting better things. Do you know what I'm saying? And the other thing is, which I've done and I'll admit to, oh, it's fine. I will subscribe for a month and then right away off the renewal. Right? Right away. Right, right away. So I pay what you wanna see, four to $5.

I see what I need to see for their past year. Why would icontinue year and a half? Why? To subscribe. Yeah. And I'm like, that's, I'm good. That's not worth, continually paying a monthly fee. More, Tim. It needs to be more like, um, it's not fun. Fans for me would be like if we went up to Ohio State and got people to show their dicks and jerk off like and Every single video was a different guy now that is worth paying for paying for that's worth paying and that actually could be done through Only fans technically and we could do that and submit all of the monthly revenue directly to those young guys Just to say right if you ever want to come back and suck.

Um, yeah, so that's why so I feel like only fans But my other question is what is it about Gen Z? and younger millennials who really think that they [02:02:00] are porn material. I have the answer. Because we are getting a whole lot of very, very average looking guys. And I can already see the comments being like, you're an average looking guy.

I know I am. I don't give a fuck. I might be less than average, but I still don't give a fuck. I'm trying to figure out though, why they all think that if they show their dick, they're gonna get clout. These people don't look good. I have such an answer for you. These people don't look good. I have such an These people are the guys that go around and when they're in clothes and they're the horse face comes at you and you're like, oh, nay You don't want to see your face But they happen to have a big cock and it's pretty So what they do is they use the big cock and try to use it as an advantage So then they get attention that they don't get in real life because they're not that great personality wise They're not that great in their face.

There's something else wrong. Remember the four things. Yep Face, personality, body, cock. You can't have all four. We know the [02:03:00] Columbus The Columbus OnlyFansGays, they don't have even three of them. They have two of four. They have a cock. They have two of four. Some of them are cute. Others, not so much. Like I said, two of four.

It's a 50 50 coin toss. Great cock. That horse face? The horse face? No. And that's my answer though. Keep it in the stable, honey. This is why. Keep it in the stable. Because we're in a generation of like, social media Oh my god, oh my god, So what they do is they're getting attention because of their dicks not because of their personality or their face So then they which I mean whatever I mean do what you gotta do.

God bless you. God bless you Good for you. Now, but I know in ten years you don't have a retirement plan. You don't have a 401k You have nothing going for you in life, but that's what you had a You had a booming OnlyFans business when you were 23, 30 a month, you're bringing in now, and then you're answering phones for some other collection agency or nationwide.

Like, you know, it's not a career. It's not. Oh, do I know? Like, I know a lot of rich gays that do, like, tell, tell, uh, [02:04:00] tell us something, right? They hire like, yeah, it's, it's, it's a scam. It's sad. Um, it's sad. We should do it. Um, but Uh, Yeah, OnlyFans, I mean, I would do it. And I think the thing is, is that if you're I think I could get away with it and make money.

Only because A little flicky flick. Because I'm a novelty. I'm not normal. I'm not your typical guy. You're not. I'm not. I period. You're really not. I'm really not. You're really not. I'm not. You're not. I never will be. When you're 6'5 and a size 15 foot, honey, I should be selling my socks. My dirty socks to people.

If you want to buy my socks. I have holes in my socks. Why do you think I have two different types of socks on right now? You know what's crazy is I'm having a real struggle with socks lately. Do you struggle with socks? I can't find a fucking pair. I lose them all the time. I'm having a sock struggle. And I sent a meme to my husband.

Because I asked Santa for socks and underwear. Is this bad? Did you ask? I won't, but here's what I asked list, socks [02:05:00] and underwear. But I'm kind of a con. I asked for strictly bombas. Ha ha! That's not a con. They're so expensive. Wait, should I have done that? Yeah, probably, because the bombas are the best. My husband just went sock shopping yesterday.

Oh, cry Haynes. And it's fine. No, no. I give homage. Oh, that's probably just as well. Honey, feel these. I didn't know that homage Feel these right now. Feel this. Oh yeah, that's like bomba. These are two years old. Feel them. Yeah, that's like bomba. Right. Oh, I didn't even get to my homage. Homage? These socks are, feel these, feel these.

Is it these? Them too. Grab them, grab them here. Oh, fuck. They're thinner, these pair, but they're soft. Are they soft? Yeah, they feel like Bambas. And they're two to three years old. I know, I've never had a Bamba. You're like, have you ever had a Bamba? No, have you ever had a Bamba sock? Girl. Bamba! Once you have a Bamba, you never want to go back.

Okay, is this true? I'm not kidding. It feels like there's like, No, we have a Bonobos on High Street. I was like, do we have a Bomba nearby? Now, are you having that? Yes. Okay, I'm just checking. You wanted a sip? Yeah. Oh, just cause I'm, um, [02:06:00] acting like a standard adult now. No, you're not. No, you're not. You're acting like a teetoddler.

You're acting like a teetoddler. Are you a teetoddler? Tell the truth. I was feeling a little nauseous a little bit ago. He's a teetoddler. So. Um, well, this is gonna be like when I try red meat for the first time. I'm gonna get an upset stomach. Um, I want to say one other thing. Go ahead, let it all out. I have a new coworker.

Again. And, again, it goes back to the same Lots of instability in this place. Okay. Well, it's the replacement of my Oh, good. So you hired another, um, welfare queen. Welfare queen? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is like a direct, um, we're parallel with each other. It's like The one that I thought was hot, the one that I thought was hot, left, left, so this is the new one.

So you gotta have a new one, okay. Same initials, not the same look, um, at all. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how to read it, but I have all of a sudden though, gone back into the [02:07:00] closet, and I just really can't, and my sundry also fucking nails this shit on the head, but I just like, I don't like, The pomp and circumstance of a new person coming in and it's like so where'd you go to school?

Oh, where are you from? Do you have a wife? Where were you born? How are your kids? Oh, oh, you don't have a wife? Oh, I don't want to come out any fucking more. Oh, you're a fucking faggot! And I'm sitting here thinking like, and I work in an industry that is not a lot of faggots. At least on the surface. Now, within the, I'm sure there's a lot of suck in deck.

Actually, especially within the packing and shipping department. Oh, fuck. They're back there packing and shipping. Shipping that load. So, I just wanted to discuss again, and I don't know like, I'm just so annoyed. I think you're bad at coming out, is the real thing here. Like, we're blaming everyone else, but you.

Do you think it's me? You're bad at coming out. I am, I'm, I'm uncomfortable. Now, I throw Oh my god, maybe I'm un, Maybe I'm homophobic. Unaware, unalight, you're homophobic. Homophobic. No, you're homophobic. [02:08:00] At work now, I throw around husband in everyone's face. I'm like, and my husband! Yeah, I mean I'm literally like, oh, and my husband worked for the railroad!

I mean, let's get honest, if we were walking And people are like, what? If people just looked at us, don't even say a word, who would be the gay one? You. I mean, you know, I love how you're just old looking. I look like I love hot dads. Like I, that's clearly gay. Okay. Wait till I'm so skinny that really how skinny skinnier than you.

Oh, really? Oh, when you're gonna be like, Oh, can we get a taste? No, you're gonna always, you're always gonna look big. Well, yeah, my body's you're tall. Yeah. Sorry. No, I'm always, I'm always a skinny one. Just let me be. I don't know. I actually, you're kind of thick. I am. You're not little. No, my upper body. It's not a bad thing though.

From nipple to back fat. It's when I go, when I was at the fuck and when I was yesterday, I was getting a shower and I lifted my arm up and looked from here to here. There's like, so there's this problem behind the shoulder blade that it like, so this is my back from the top, [02:09:00] from where the armpit is. It goes.

And it's like a little ball, like a ball. No, it goes Yeah. Yeah, like a little sack. It's a saggy sack. Like a fat, fat fuck. I was like Yep. I went like this. Like a chicken wing, girl. Fuck. Now No, but it's not on my arm, but it's on the back. I know, it's like you're talking about, because in the video Back rolls!

When I was going It was literally Back rolls! Girl, if I was going to judge anyone, I'd judge you on that body where the shoulders should match them hips, but they don't, so Ha ha! Get her, Jade! Girl, you had rolls all over the place in the back. It was disgusting.

Back rolls? When I was in Punta Cana, I was going Back rolls? You could see it shaking and I'm like, ooh. I know. We have back fat. Back rolls. Neither one of us are ever going to be skinny, but I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Now I know what you mean. Tell the truth. Are you good at coming out or not?

You're not good. I'm terrible. Terrible. So, how do you even do it? You're like, I have a partner of nine years. I was like, well, that's awkward. I'm like, well, you didn't tell me about someone that you've been with for [02:10:00] nine years until now, three months in. Huh. Bobby's a real, maybe, then they think you're shy about it, then they're embarrassed for you.

But you're like, because you're not allowed to share it. I just, again, my biggest thing is I want people to know me for me, not for my sexuality. I don't really care what you're doing. It's homophobic. I'm homophobic. Yeah, you are actually like How do I get over this? Just tell them, by the way, I'm gay? Yeah, because obviously a big part of your life, because your personality revolves around being homosexual.

Does it? Like, look at you. Back row. I don't think my personality revolves around being homosexual. Everything you send me is about homosexuals. So do you! So I'm like Your whole life is coming home to your partner, who's a man, sucking dick, watching like, gay shows, having gay heroes, and gay icons as your people, the music you like, I don't like the gay music, bitch.

We're going to Gay Ski Week in Utah, like, everything about us is very, very gay, but you're like, Um, yeah, I happen to have lived with this man for eight years, I don't know what he is to me, not really a [02:11:00] husband or like a boyfriend, but he's like a partner, I do suck his dick. Um, occasionally. Occasionally, but occasionally I'll take a dick if I'm in a good mood.

Oh yeah. And especially now it's like you are very, very gay. Like you need to just release it out to everyone around you. You have a fucking like music note tattooed on your arm like you're gay. That's like honey and a peach. I think the peach is And a peach. Yeah. The peach is more gay. Yeah. Like you're talking about the fact I just did this.

You're, yeah, you're just did this. That's a classic bear move, to be honest with you. That's my, that's my look where I'm like, that's the bear move. Oh fuck. We're going down to the Sheraton to have a gang bang like you we're gay. We're gay. We're playing the whole New Orleans around. Dick, we're right. I'm making gay shirts for New Orleans.

Like you need to let your freak flag fly. And I do though. You do. You very but's. Not from the straight people though. You're like, I played basketball in high school. Oh, I was on a Look at me. I played AU in travel team baseball. Hi. I'm a travel team. Are Hi. Oh, I'm from Georgia. He's like, so you're a faggot.

Got it. Yeah, like, um, Like, I was sucking dick when I was ten. I really like Team Showers, um, Honestly, It's easier to get at all the dicks at once. I never [02:12:00] did. We never had to, and I never did. What? I never had a team shower. I hate you right now You were on a team sport, but you never did a team shower I'm kind of sad about it now that I think about it, but in our school the showers were like never used Nobody showered.

When I was in college, I used to go to the, um, rec center. Because it was team showers Not because it was team showers. Well, it was group showers. Yeah, the showers were open There's no stalls and I would just go and pretend to shower for like 45 minutes. I would be Showering. Because they'd leave and you don't even know you're still in there.

And people would come in and out and in and out and I'm just like I just got here. Oh, I used to do that at LA Fitness, babe. I would go, oh, I would go swimming and then go back to shower again and then go swimming. And then go back in the sauna and then go shower again. Uh huh. Because nobody's watching.

Most people are like. No, no one knows. I'd go on the elliptical for 15 minutes and then I'd go shower again. Then I'd go back to the, back to the swimming pool and swim a lap. Then I'd go shower again. I [02:13:00] literally saw Oh, we're so deprived. No, but also touched. Like, there were times Yeah, oh, I jerked off in the fucking I came in the sauna at LA Fitness, okay?

Like, I literally You're so dirty. I came with another man, like, we were like, oh, fuck yeah. And I was like, yep. And I'm like, sweating, pouring. It's in my eyes because I'm You're like, I've been in 180 degrees for the past I'm like dizzy, I'm shaking, I'm like, I'm losing weight. Yeah, I had my foot sucked on in the song and in a steam room because the guy had a foot fetish.

I never told you that. I don't think I'm going to tell you something right now and you're not going to like it, but it's happening. Anyways, we are going to go to Club Columbus on a holiday. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. We're going to rent a room. No, no, no, no, no. You're bringing a backpack. We're renting a room.

We're bringing mics. We're strapping up. We're recording. We're going to go find people, bring them back to the room that we rent. It's not expensive. It's cheap. Do a little interview. Go back out. Have some fun. Come back in. Interview. Yeah, I thought about it. I've been thinking about this. This is one of his [02:14:00] bits.

I've been thinking about this for months, but I'm like afraid to tell you, but I think it should happen because it's not expensive. It would be good. Why don't we do it in New Orleans then? No, because this is cheaper than a trip. We can do New Orleans and this. No, but I'm saying like, in New Orleans go to a bathhouse.

Yeah, we'll do that too. I would rather go where there's nobody that I know. I don't like it. I hate to tell you, but you're not going to know anyone at this bathhouse either. Club Columbus. The people we know don't go there. I've been around. I've been there once, and the people who go there don't. We've only been there once.

You've been there zero. But I know how bathhouses work. No you don't. Um, anyways, next topic! Wow, so, we're wearing sundries already. We're wearing sundries. Mine correlates with the last conversation. You gotta go first, cause you never go first. Okay, so, today. Today is the day. I always go first. Today is the day that lives in our memories.

Do you wanna go first? No, you go first. Okay, so Another thing that I really can't stand. I realize this today is when people put up posts about other people. For example, [02:15:00] I read a post today about a retired person that was retiring and there was a younger guy who's kind of douchey. And he's like, the younger guys retiring or the older guys.

Okay. When I first met Tim, he was this whole big fucking spiel about how great this person is and really just stroking his cock. And I'm thinking to myself, Why but I mean, okay, it's public forum, right? Right, but then it got me thinking I hate when there's like a new hire And they sent an email and it's like Let me read my quote read the quote Mike and his wife Stacy have three boys and are around the ballpark at any given weekend day, I Don't give a fuck who you're fucking.

I don't give a fuck about your fucking Mike. He's fucking Mike. I don't know. I'm not kidding Like, he's probably fucking mine. But I'm just saying though, like Have you ever felt the urge to write some No, this happens all the time though. This happens all the time. He's a real stand up guy. I've been to church with him for the past five years.

And he is, and I'm like [02:16:00] So, I'm supposed to believe that you're just friends, but you have to post this very public obituary about him? Like, no, I don't believe it. I know what you're doing on the weekends. So and so's been promoted. He went to LaToya, or LaToya? He went to LaToya University to learn how to snatch these claws.

He's got his masters in communication. His wife Terry loves to cook on the weekends while his kids frolic around at horse camp. It's like, I don't give a fuck about any of this. And that's why I'm waiting for my promotion because what are you going to goddamn say? He didn't finish college, he's a faggot, and he's not eating and starving himself.

When you said, when I got my promotion, when I get my promotion, I just thought, when is that going to be? I've already been promoted like three times. Right. Um, Oh, where's the soliloquy? Where's the little obituary? Where's the write up? Well, they don't want a write up about faggots. Right. But weird, I just can't [02:17:00] come out.

Is it because you never come out? And so they don't really know what to say? No, my work knows. They'll ask me about my goal. Is it because you don't share your life with them? No, I totally do. And they don't know what to say? If you want to be honest, you know what my boss said to me? I'm just going to say this too.

Just go ahead and fucking say it. He's gone. I was talking about a girl in a different location. And I was like, that bitch is going to get the fucking ops manager job. I said, she's got the wool pulled all over your fucking eyes. And my boss looks me dead in the eye with and there and goes, Oh, so she's pulling a Bobby.

First of all, I'm the most transparent person at work at this point. Like, to be honest with you, like I tell stories about truly, truly just how you struggle with coming out. Yeah. But that doesn't mean I'm not transparent and I'm not shady at work, right? My work speaks for itself. Oh no. We're really having a therapy session here.

I love that I love that. It pissed me off to a point where I was like, so other people think that you're pulling the wool over their eyes. You're not revealing yourself. Remember my narcissistic boss. Oh yeah. He's trying to pull me down. I got you guys ice cream [02:18:00] in the freezer. It's like, yeah. Like, so anyway, he said that.

And I was like, I go, really? I go, what made you say that? And he got beat red and left. Cause he doesn't know what to say. Cause you called him out. He's a narcissist. You are the one that's pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. I got a pizza party and ice cream for you. And you guys all hate me. It's like, okay.

Like, it's been promoted to the, and his daughter's a lesbian. This is Bobby's Rampage. Let's skip ahead a little bit. And we're just not sure about ourselves, so we're gonna turn to God. And if you turn to God, honestly, when you become a freak, you are a freak. Period.

Yeah, I think that that's true. Um, and I'll tell you why afterwards. Okay. Um, your sundry is going to be interesting because I'm excited to hear it. My sundry. You just got so excited. I think everyone listening knows this. Hi, Gay. Hi, Gay. Because my sundry is, isn't it a treat and isn't it [02:19:00] fun to sit by Tables where a first date is happening every single time.

I can just tell you right away from the outset, it's not going to work. I am listening to so many last night. I had an Indian straight guy talking to a white girl and he's just like, no, this is not what I expect from my children. I will tell them when they are older, but definitely not right now. And she's just, she's going like.

Oh, okay. Well, I was thinking that we would raise them this way. I mean, I would want my children to know. No, definitely not the 18. And she's like, um, okay. Well, it's so cringe. I'm sitting there trying to like eat my side dishes. Like, um, what was that? I'm like leaning back. Like, Ooh, girl! Okay, I'm eating mac and cheese, bye.

Oh, you gotta raise your children! I mean And he's like, no, definitely cannot do this, they cannot have sex [02:20:00] before the marriage. And it's like, um So, you're trying to date a white woman, and you're coming from like a Hindu world. We all know that you're not going to be able to marry her, so why are you trying?

Literally, last night, I was judging them so hard, I was like, why is this even a date? I think it is so awkward. I was like, I want to ask little, um, Rajeev, uh, like, did his parents approve this date? Because They didn't. If they didn't, it's absolutely not going to work. And this is not racist, I just know so many No, not at all, we know Indians.

I know so many Indian boys who go on dates with white girls and it doesn't work. You know who I'm talking about, our friend Oh, I don't even want to go there. You don't even want to go there, but you know, but you know who I'm talking about. One hundred and fifty percent. It was never going to work out, and she's Um, so, I'm just saying though, when you see a first date and you know it's not working, Isn't it hard to look away?

It's hard to look, you see the car crash, you see the car crash, you see it happening, and you're like, They're like sitting different, they're like, Hey! [02:21:00] Oh, well, I just didn't think that God would want that, uh, uh, Can you please pass me the, uh, the butter? Literally, last night, I was having panic attacks for the girl.

Like I was literally, I felt so bad for her. Feel you? I said, I told my husband, oh, I said, Matt, I go, Matt, do hear this behind me? He's like, not really. I'm like, of course he's not paying attention. No, nobody. I would've been all in. I I was, every bite was like, no, you don't know. No, no, no. And she's probably like, like Amy, like.

The second half of the date was absolute silence. They were just, it was chewing sounds. It was just chewing sounds. That's when you're like, yeah, I was like, I, I've got to go. I've got to go out of the room. I was like, dude, dude, dude, but I had to listen. So my sundry is if you're going on a first date and it's not going well in the first 15 minutes, like don't make it last, just call it.

Just say. Actually, I'm really like, I'm not feeling well. I've got to go home. Like, I don't think you do that. I think you like you to [02:22:00] say it's not going to work out. You know, this is, I really appreciate the effort. And I really appreciate like that. We came out. I'm glad we both gave it a try for me. This is just not going to work.

And I, and I don't want to make it any more awkward than it already is. So I'm going to go ahead and just, um, I'll go and pay my half. Um, okay, that's bold and good night to me. Now, if you're not comfortable with that, then just bow the fuck out like an Irish goodbye. You can do that when you're the hot one.

Well, and that's the thing. I don't know what it's like to not have a good day. Imagine if you're not the hot one like this poor Indian guy last night when you're not, he was not. The problem is when you're the hot one, you don't ever have a bad day. Really? Well, well, I was gonna say I've never been on a bad date, and I was gonna say it's because I'm the hot one.

Well, and the only time that I wasn't, have you been on a hot date? Oh, I'm the hot one. Right. But except for I got my heart broken by a hotter one. And that's where I was going to say. And that's why hot people should not be putting themselves in situations where they're not the hot one. And they're not ready.

Well, the other one wasn't. Yeah, you're right. It was bad, but [02:23:00] I still fall by that. I mean, literally we went on our first date and he sucked my dick in the parking lot. And this is somebody you would never have thought was gay. Just saying. When you get touched, sucked or kissed by someone who you don't expect to be gay.

Bagging. to suck my dick, begging nights over the night's over when I said, Oh no, not tonight. I said no because I wanted more and then he fucked me. Um, not that night, but just in the future and then I lost my virginity and I was like, Oh no, I'm a big old bottom. Um, I just went back to so many different memories at once.

That's great. It's so great. Yeah. I don't like when I go on people. I don't like when I go on dates. I don't like when I come on people. No, I don't like when I go on dates with people that are hotter than me. Like it's really problematic. Honestly, you need to be aware of self awareness. I hate being the chaser.

You do too. Well, you were in this case. You were chasing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was not chasing. Initially. [02:24:00] And then I was like. No, it was not. You were full. Bobby. Literally, he begged. Let's be real. I swear to God. On my life. Oh, he loves it. Please. He fucked. Okay. Yeah. And that's been another episode of Training Rooms.

What is this, what is this podcast called? Again, just wanted to do a quick. Did you have a sundry? I already said it. What was it? The email thing. The. how like people like write the email. They're like, Mike is, Mike went to Penn State University. Oh yeah. And got his master's in sports management. Forgot. It's like, I forgot.

I'm sorry. Totally forgot. Oh, okay. I'm gonna go ahead and repeat myself again. New Orleans come visit us 17th through the 20th because it's 21st, I'm leaving at 5:00 AM.

Yeah. So the plan for me is when I get on Wednesday, I need to have like a quick No intermission or anything, but just I need to [02:25:00] like get into the hotel room and have a quick refresher. Okay. And then we go. It sounds good. We go. We go big Wednesday night or Wednesday. Sure. It's New Orleans, bitch. Honey.

Just wait. Hot men are coming out Friday and Saturday. Well, yeah, Friday's gonna be definitely Friday, okay. Saturday might Saturday we might be turned over to Well, Saturday's gonna be a day. I wanna do Saturday Oh, yeah, I like Day. Oh! Okay, I like that. And then we can end on a good note, and then But I also am trying to think 5 AM.

Yeah, it's wait now. Is that the flight or when you have to wake up? That's the flight. It's at 5 30 a. m

Now I'm not gonna be we're going from bar to packing. I'll go home with you and pack I'll help you I'll literally be fine. I'll probably pack before I go out that way. I know I'm ready. I'll probably be drunk as shit I'll probably miss my flight. I might need to change it, honestly. Okay. But I don't want to come home at 9.

No, no, no, my flight is at like 9. At 9? [02:26:00] that late. No, a. m. So mine's early. 9. 30 is early for me. I don't normally fly before 11. I like the early flights. Now, I do want to kind of try to get on an earlier flight on Wednesday, but I don't know if that's possible. Yeah, you better, you better. Because I have a meeting that I'm in.

Because I'm getting it at like 1 p. m. And I'm about to like live my life. Or no wait, 11. 30 a. m. I'll be so tired. No, I'm getting there at like 11 a. m. So I'll probably just like go have a little Bengay. I'll have my thing. I can nap until 5 m. Oh great, of course you're gonna fucking nap. I'm gonna be ready.

You're like, Wednesday nights are big night. I'm like, okay. Well, I'm napping before then. No, no, no, no, no. I'm ready to go get fucking hammered. Well, you can kind of scope it out, but I'm gonna tell you right now I need you to understand where we're staying.

I'm changing over to that other hotel that we looked at. I was actually thinking about like, like the nice sweet one. It's still in the quarter, it's still in the French Quarter. What do, well, I wanna get, I wanna go to like the Four Seasons. Um, [02:27:00] can we just do it? I can't afford it. Well, is it bad? No. What if he chips in?

If he chips in, hold on, hold on. If I chip in Where we're at though? Where we're at is not bad. It's just that's not where we're gonna be the whole time. You're gonna get the experience of Bourbon Street right there, but you're gonna be like, oh, let's go up to this village I'm not getting you're gonna get the whole experience is why we're staying there I'd rather get the experience elsewhere and then have fun in the bourbon but go back to the experience.

Oh, no I don't want to stay off. No, but We're right by the gay bars. That's the only reason why I picked that. We can stumble home. We're literally two blocks from the gay bars. Then we have to stumble home. I'm just worried I'm staying in the I'm just telling you You're like, it's like Times Square, you're gonna love Bourbon Street.

No, it's like Times Square, but no like It's like Vegas! So we've listed two places I hate, and then that's where our hotel is. Do you ever been to Savannah? No. Oh, boy. Um. Oh, fuck me. This is so fucking bad. I'm trying to think of where it would [02:28:00] be, like, comparable. Have you ever been? Okay, like, New York City.

Like, Hell's Kitchen.

Just know that going in. We're gonna have so much fun. No, we're just gonna be high and drunk, and we're just gonna be like, Hey. Honestly, the gay bars are two blocks away. I hope I get beaten up. But honestly, we could just take an Uber out of Bourbon Street. Yeah, we gotta get out. We gotta get out. We're gonna be out half the time we're not gonna even be there, but it'll be nice to be there.

I want to get you in the swamp We're taking that big boat Why I don't want a little why do we want 40 people on a boat because you know how dirty it gets and loud They can't go down any little alleys. They can't find anything. Okay, but like also though you want to find a hot straight married man You can jerk off in the one no, but it's it's more fun when there's like people around.

Okay, we'll get a private tour Do we know anybody? Have you ever been on a private You probably can't afford private tours, but they're always better. Bitch, are you kidding? On a private tour Honey, do you know who I am? I went down the Duomo with Matt in Portugal, and we literally go to whatever we want. I [02:29:00] had like three shots on a boat.

Endless appetizers. Went on a private boat in Punta Cana, so I don't really know what you're talking about. To be honest, right put. Okay. Um, alright, so anyway, this'll been another episode of Out Well anyways, 6 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 six's. That's 6 1 4 7 2 1 5 3 3 6. Or you can also email us like Alex, she's not doing so well@gmail.com.

She's not doing so well@gmail.com or Instagram, dmm us, whatever the fuck you want. Do come to our new YouTube visitors. We have almost 2000 now, by the way. It's like, I know it's getting outta control. It's like kind of going crazy. Welcome to all of you and I hope you're listening from the beginning 'cause there's a lot of episodes to catch up on.

And a special shout out to Gumdrop Billy. Gumdrop baby daddy. Four 20 We love is his actual name. It's like Gumdrop daddy or something like that. He's pathetic. Gumdrop. You know you wanna fuck this pussy. You know where you wanna fuck this mom pussy right here. Okay, honey, this this soccer mom pus pussy, honey.

Wait, what? You feel this? Can you see that? You can't imagine that. You sound like a bunch of soccer moms yelling at kids. Do you want the soccer mom fupa [02:30:00] on your face? Cause I'll do it. Okay, gum drop. Spread these pussy lips. Okay. Goodbye. Have a good week. Oh, Merry Christmas and Merry fucking Christmas. See you after.[02:31:00]