{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.088,"endTime":4.331,"body":"A daughter to take care of. We have a daughter to take care of. Yes. Oh,"},{"startTime":4.371,"endTime":9.415,"body":"she's on camera. She's a little baby. Oh,"},{"startTime":9.495,"endTime":13.598,"body":"big yawn. Big yawn. If you"},{"startTime":13.658,"endTime":16.74,"body":"fall asleep. You can go night night. Go night night. I"},{"startTime":16.92,"endTime":20.623,"body":"just don't know how to get you cozy. Yeah. It's like, are"},{"startTime":20.663,"endTime":24.106,"body":"you warm enough? She's seen that green hat,"},{"startTime":24.166,"endTime":27.588,"body":"I think. She wants a nipple. She just wants"},{"startTime":27.628,"endTime":30.872,"body":"her daddy. My favorite already. She's"},{"startTime":30.912,"endTime":35.655,"body":"not stupid. She knows you have the money. Can you shut the door? Love"},{"startTime":35.695,"endTime":41.037,"body":"you. Love you. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":41.057,"endTime":44.239,"body":"Yes. Yeah. It's the, it's the, it's for the"},{"startTime":44.279,"endTime":47.34,"body":"show. It's for the show. Where's the"},{"startTime":47.38,"endTime":51.262,"body":"lie. Now, are you in the camera? Cause I feel like you are. No,"},{"startTime":51.282,"endTime":55.044,"body":"it just moved. It just moved. It was not. I was like, wait, something's wrong,"},{"startTime":55.404,"endTime":59.525,"body":"but we'll be good now. Okay. will"},{"startTime":59.585,"endTime":63.386,"body":"be good. Okay, yeah,"},{"startTime":63.426,"endTime":67.066,"body":"we're both in now. We're both in, we're both ready, we're both fuckable."},{"startTime":68.227,"endTime":71.547,"body":"Well, I mean. Some of us. Some of us are fresher than others. Some"},{"startTime":71.587,"endTime":75.228,"body":"of us, I'm not fuckable at the moment. Hello everybody,"},{"startTime":75.248,"endTime":79.208,"body":"welcome to another episode of Not Well, I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. I'm a father. And"},{"startTime":79.228,"endTime":82.749,"body":"I'm freshly back from French lick Indiana. Ooh, I"},{"startTime":82.769,"endTime":86.21,"body":"always think of licking pussy. Like French pussy."},{"startTime":86.53,"endTime":89.939,"body":"Well, little do you know. Well,"},{"startTime":90.48,"endTime":93.622,"body":"there's some things I can't wait to talk to you about this because there's two items that I"},{"startTime":93.642,"endTime":96.924,"body":"want to discuss. Number one is your"},{"startTime":96.964,"endTime":101.768,"body":"obsession with horses now, including the weight limits. And"},{"startTime":101.908,"endTime":105.45,"body":"number two, all of a sudden Helen Keller comes up and"},{"startTime":105.51,"endTime":108.893,"body":"she's been at Salt Lake or where the fuck you been? She's been at Salt Lake, Indiana."},{"startTime":109.367,"endTime":114.39,"body":"So honestly, there's a lot to unpack today. Yeah, we'll"},{"startTime":114.41,"endTime":117.672,"body":"just get right into it. Get right into it. Where do you want to start with you being"},{"startTime":117.692,"endTime":120.955,"body":"a father? I'm a father now. I got Pam on Friday. I"},{"startTime":121.095,"endTime":124.417,"body":"haven't slept since in three days, and I'm just getting"},{"startTime":124.477,"endTime":127.598,"body":"used to a puppy schedule now. Um, I"},{"startTime":127.638,"endTime":130.659,"body":"forgot that it's a schedule. It's only been a"},{"startTime":130.679,"endTime":133.86,"body":"year and a half, but I did forget that they can just wake up"},{"startTime":133.9,"endTime":137.042,"body":"at 2 a.m. and need to pee. And you're like, oh, I got to let them out or"},{"startTime":137.062,"endTime":140.303,"body":"they're going to pee everywhere in the crate and I have to clean that up later. It was that moment that"},{"startTime":140.323,"endTime":143.544,"body":"you just saw exchange. Yeah, it was the I can't put her back in the crate. She's"},{"startTime":143.564,"endTime":146.725,"body":"been there all day. But please like her. Take her so I can"},{"startTime":146.805,"endTime":149.967,"body":"do this. Yeah. And then I'll take her so you can do what you gotta do. It's like,"},{"startTime":149.987,"endTime":153.309,"body":"uh huh. Oh yeah. That's at first. And it gets better really quickly. Like"},{"startTime":153.349,"endTime":157.171,"body":"it does. Like I remember June, like you can put them in the kennel then. And then they, yes. About"},{"startTime":157.211,"endTime":160.393,"body":"six months in, you're like, okay, go relax. Go chill. I"},{"startTime":160.413,"endTime":163.755,"body":"gotta go leave the house. But like with a puppy,"},{"startTime":163.815,"endTime":167.157,"body":"I didn't even want to leave the house. You don't want to leave the house. No, it's very, um, I've been."},{"startTime":167.177,"endTime":170.36,"body":"Wait, during the day. So I go"},{"startTime":170.38,"endTime":173.802,"body":"to work, so I wake up early for her. Michael stays up late, so"},{"startTime":173.842,"endTime":177.024,"body":"he's staying up later. And so she gets like four hours in the crate"},{"startTime":177.044,"endTime":180.745,"body":"overnight, five hours. I wake up at like 5.30, taking"},{"startTime":180.765,"endTime":183.927,"body":"her out, playing with her for about an hour. Then I put her back in"},{"startTime":183.967,"endTime":188.069,"body":"the kennel, then either I'll come back home at lunch, or Jackie"},{"startTime":188.089,"endTime":191.351,"body":"came over today. So if Jackie's home, she said she'd come over. Oh, then she's"},{"startTime":191.391,"endTime":194.672,"body":"not in the kennel that long. No, so she went out, it's like a four hour chunk."},{"startTime":196.253,"endTime":199.555,"body":"That's all that's good. So that's all we need right now. Until"},{"startTime":199.595,"endTime":203.076,"body":"she can control her bladder, which won't be till a while. So yeah,"},{"startTime":203.216,"endTime":206.998,"body":"it'll be a great break when we go to Park City. It's gonna be nice to relax"},{"startTime":207.038,"endTime":210.159,"body":"for a week, like totally gonna feel. And of course,"},{"startTime":210.179,"endTime":214.201,"body":"I'm gonna be with a bunch of moms. I'm gonna be like, gummy. I'll be like, having"},{"startTime":214.241,"endTime":217.564,"body":"a child is sort of like, you didn't even have to push out your pussy. I always say"},{"startTime":217.584,"endTime":221.167,"body":"it. I know. I don't know how I'm like around my sister. And I'm like, I"},{"startTime":221.327,"endTime":224.689,"body":"know you always have to make sure you have something packed away. And like, Oh, I"},{"startTime":224.709,"endTime":227.812,"body":"shouldn't say anything. They have to have like four outfits at a time. But"},{"startTime":227.832,"endTime":231.274,"body":"it's not fair that you can't also sort of like I want Paul Turner"},{"startTime":231.294,"endTime":234.517,"body":"to leave. Oh, I know. Like, why do I not get to take a week?"},{"startTime":235.492,"endTime":239.073,"body":"That would actually, when we got Penny, I just accidentally had"},{"startTime":239.113,"endTime":242.334,"body":"like eight days off after. So I had a whole week off to"},{"startTime":242.374,"endTime":245.655,"body":"just be like, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny. And then you get them on a routine and"},{"startTime":245.695,"endTime":249.056,"body":"it's fine, but like I had three days, an hour. You're"},{"startTime":249.096,"endTime":252.517,"body":"back to work, you're, yep. This is just, you're"},{"startTime":252.557,"endTime":255.838,"body":"like this. But at four months, which is in seven"},{"startTime":255.858,"endTime":259.539,"body":"weeks from now, not counting, she can go to puppy camp. So"},{"startTime":259.579,"endTime":262.801,"body":"I can do that two days a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,"},{"startTime":262.841,"endTime":266.343,"body":"yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's going to be okay."},{"startTime":266.603,"endTime":270.205,"body":"Yeah. That's how June made it through. She has to get her vaccines and"},{"startTime":270.225,"endTime":273.527,"body":"she already get them on Monday. She got it last, not this past"},{"startTime":273.567,"endTime":276.848,"body":"Saturday, but the Saturday before. So she can do this Saturday for a second round. And then I'm"},{"startTime":276.868,"endTime":280.19,"body":"going to try to get her a third round before, cause Shauna said I could do 14 week shots."},{"startTime":280.991,"endTime":284.252,"body":"Um, but like where I'm taking her for Park City to like do"},{"startTime":284.292,"endTime":287.614,"body":"her little puppy kindergarten, they don't do nose to nose with other dogs and stuff. They just like, it's"},{"startTime":287.634,"endTime":290.896,"body":"basically human interaction more than anything. That's better. So"},{"startTime":290.916,"endTime":294.741,"body":"yeah. Honestly, because I don't want her I don't care about she likes dogs. I need her to like people."},{"startTime":294.941,"endTime":298.506,"body":"She needs to like people That's all you can avoid other dogs easily, right?"},{"startTime":298.626,"endTime":301.77,"body":"Like you just don't go to a fucking dog park You don't play when you walk you pull"},{"startTime":301.79,"endTime":305.496,"body":"them to the other side I seem to get along with June and probably the neighbor dogs, but exactly"},{"startTime":305.516,"endTime":308.659,"body":"go don't play Now, I don't know if"},{"startTime":308.679,"endTime":311.762,"body":"you've seen this trend, but it's something I want to talk about. I feel"},{"startTime":311.782,"endTime":314.925,"body":"like I'm having an allergic reaction. I'm looking at your eyes. I'm nervous. Yeah, I don't know what"},{"startTime":314.945,"endTime":318.348,"body":"happened. All of a sudden, I'm starting to itch. Sudden onset hand, paw,"},{"startTime":318.388,"endTime":321.751,"body":"and mouth disease. Yeah, like maybe I just got. Did you get COVID? Actually, my eye was itching"},{"startTime":321.771,"endTime":325.04,"body":"earlier today, too. A little COVID-y to me. Oh, I"},{"startTime":325.12,"endTime":328.741,"body":"wish I had COVID. Well, this would be the time. I'm going to say COVID."},{"startTime":329.281,"endTime":332.442,"body":"And it's before the trip. And I have a dog. And so you could be"},{"startTime":332.602,"endTime":336.023,"body":"off and accidentally have COVID. Maybe I do. So there's these"},{"startTime":336.103,"endTime":339.324,"body":"kids, this parent trend, and I'm not saying"},{"startTime":339.364,"endTime":342.424,"body":"this because I think it's funny, but what I"},{"startTime":342.484,"endTime":345.785,"body":"want to say is, but you're worried about drag queens and that's all I'm going to say. Okay."},{"startTime":345.985,"endTime":349.406,"body":"I love it. And we're going to just go ahead. But we're worried about drag"},{"startTime":349.426,"endTime":352.767,"body":"queen story hour once a week for like half an hour at a church"},{"startTime":353.985,"endTime":357.066,"body":"This is called the bathroom rule. You know how you"},{"startTime":357.106,"endTime":360.526,"body":"like flipping people off with your finger and you like saying"},{"startTime":360.546,"endTime":363.847,"body":"bad words. So"},{"startTime":364.227,"endTime":367.587,"body":"here's the new rule. When you want to flip someone off or"},{"startTime":367.607,"endTime":372.668,"body":"say a bad word, you can only do it in the bathroom. Okay."},{"startTime":372.748,"endTime":376.229,"body":"Nobody can see yet in here. So if you feel like flipping"},{"startTime":376.349,"endTime":379.549,"body":"off, flying your bird and letting them"},{"startTime":379.589,"endTime":382.81,"body":"bad words come out of your mouth, you can come to the bathroom and do"},{"startTime":382.83,"endTime":386.008,"body":"it in here. Okay? So I'm going to give you a"},{"startTime":386.028,"endTime":389.13,"body":"few. I'm going to walk out and I'm going to"},{"startTime":389.15,"endTime":392.613,"body":"let you do your backboards in here."},{"startTime":392.733,"endTime":396.275,"body":"Okay? Fuck you. Fuck you bitch."},{"startTime":398.017,"endTime":401.799,"body":"Yeah, fuck you bitch. Okay."},{"startTime":402.4,"endTime":407.163,"body":"That's a little bit much. Fuck. Fuck. Yes,"},{"startTime":412.757,"endTime":416.2,"body":"So you just gotta, you gonna have to just cuss"},{"startTime":416.24,"endTime":419.983,"body":"in the bathroom. You can't cuss nowhere else but the bathroom, okay?"},{"startTime":421.904,"endTime":425.306,"body":"I'm finna walk up, and you get all the cuss words"},{"startTime":431.331,"endTime":434.773,"body":"Okay. Bitch! Cuss,"},{"startTime":434.854,"endTime":438.276,"body":"bitch! You're like a motherfucker. Like,"},{"startTime":438.556,"endTime":442.073,"body":"like a motherfucker. Like, motherfucker. You"},{"startTime":442.133,"endTime":445.596,"body":"can say all the bad words you"},{"startTime":445.976,"endTime":472.498,"body":"want, okay? Fuck. Motherfucker,"},{"startTime":472.618,"endTime":476.159,"body":"motherfucker, motherfucker. Help,"},{"startTime":476.259,"endTime":479.74,"body":"help, help, help, help, help, help, help,"},{"startTime":479.78,"endTime":483.6,"body":"help. Bye-bye. Bitch, motherfucker. Bitch,"},{"startTime":483.74,"endTime":490.322,"body":"motherfucker. Bitch, motherfucker. Bitch, motherfucker. Bitch,"},{"startTime":496.568,"endTime":499.911,"body":"We're worried about drag queens, but yet we're gonna let our kids go in the bathroom, we're"},{"startTime":499.931,"endTime":503.213,"body":"gonna let them cuss, and we're gonna post it on our social media. And then we're gonna film it. And it's so"},{"startTime":503.253,"endTime":506.676,"body":"creepy because, like, child predators love watching kids do things."},{"startTime":506.756,"endTime":509.819,"body":"Right. And act like adults. How do you feel about... So,"},{"startTime":510.039,"endTime":513.282,"body":"it's looking a little... But did you used to cuss, though? I would not post..."},{"startTime":513.362,"endTime":516.524,"body":"Oh, no. We were not allowed. I grew up in a house, we weren't allowed to"},{"startTime":516.564,"endTime":519.967,"body":"say, oh my God. We had to say, oh my gosh. Geez was"},{"startTime":520.007,"endTime":523.53,"body":"not allowed because it was like a short word for Jesus. So you"},{"startTime":523.55,"endTime":526.933,"body":"couldn't say, oh geez, cause that was Jesus. Is that how geez? Who"},{"startTime":526.953,"endTime":530.055,"body":"knows? We think, in my family, we"},{"startTime":530.075,"endTime":533.398,"body":"couldn't say something sucked. Yeah. Suck was really bad in my house. So"},{"startTime":533.558,"endTime":536.641,"body":"you could say it stinks. Even that was like, we were not"},{"startTime":536.661,"endTime":540.304,"body":"allowed to say sucks. Sucks was really bad. We were not allowed"},{"startTime":540.364,"endTime":543.428,"body":"to say fucks. What? We weren't allowed to"},{"startTime":543.468,"endTime":546.614,"body":"say that we hated something because hate was too strong of a word. Hate's a"},{"startTime":546.634,"endTime":549.821,"body":"strong word. So we could not say we hated it. And we would be like,"},{"startTime":549.861,"endTime":553.036,"body":"we really, really, really don't like it. It's like, no, I"},{"startTime":553.116,"endTime":556.339,"body":"hate you, you dumb bitch. Like, why can't you be honest? Why do you make me"},{"startTime":556.419,"endTime":559.662,"body":"lie? I was like, no, that dumb kid down the street, I hate him. I"},{"startTime":559.802,"endTime":563.164,"body":"don't ever want to see him again. You don't hate him."},{"startTime":563.224,"endTime":566.307,"body":"The Lord doesn't hate him. It's like, why? Why doesn't the Lord hate him? He"},{"startTime":566.327,"endTime":569.589,"body":"deep pantsed me in third grade. Like, I hate him. He's embarrassing me every day of my life."},{"startTime":569.609,"endTime":573.512,"body":"He kicked me in the balls in fourth grade. Like, I hate him. And not in a good way. Hmm"},{"startTime":575.673,"endTime":578.975,"body":"So do you so we used to go on the back of the bus and cause me like fuck you"},{"startTime":579.115,"endTime":582.236,"body":"bitch like motherfucker But it's interesting like I"},{"startTime":582.276,"endTime":585.462,"body":"was never in the in crowd, so I don't know You just always"},{"startTime":585.482,"endTime":589.163,"body":"want to play the victim. Um, yeah, so I"},{"startTime":589.203,"endTime":592.364,"body":"wasn't really part of the mainstream. I wasn't either. I got made fun"},{"startTime":592.404,"endTime":596.945,"body":"of. I got called probably Big Bird. No, that's what I would say. Stretch?"},{"startTime":597.545,"endTime":601.166,"body":"No, my nickname was Bimbo or Bimbish. Bimbish."},{"startTime":601.206,"endTime":604.526,"body":"Like a bimbo. You know how people say their himbos? I was Bimbish. Like"},{"startTime":604.566,"endTime":607.987,"body":"dumb bitch, but Bimbish. Like a dumb bitch, dumb bimbo bitch. I"},{"startTime":608.007,"endTime":611.528,"body":"mean, I kind of like that Bimbish. Actually, people love calling me Bimbish. Like, it was like, Bimbish. I'm"},{"startTime":611.548,"endTime":615.177,"body":"like, what's up? And I'm like, and then I remember like"},{"startTime":615.637,"endTime":618.98,"body":"people like did where people in your school, like when you're a kid, did"},{"startTime":619.0,"endTime":622.723,"body":"you like masturbation was not, Oh, no one. Like if somebody masturbated,"},{"startTime":622.743,"endTime":626.066,"body":"you were like, you are fucking sick. You're a loser. Yeah. Everybody"},{"startTime":626.166,"endTime":629.449,"body":"did it. Oh yeah. Like guys would not even talk about it. But if they, I"},{"startTime":629.469,"endTime":632.931,"body":"jerked off. Right. And it's like, I'm like, okay, now my question is"},{"startTime":633.352,"endTime":636.655,"body":"where do the kids learn the finger and where the parents, I guess. Yeah."},{"startTime":636.675,"endTime":639.817,"body":"Oh yeah. But like, why are they so all of a sudden they're like, okay, you have"},{"startTime":639.857,"endTime":643.081,"body":"a free pass. And they're like, Motherfucker, and"},{"startTime":643.101,"endTime":646.543,"body":"it's like, where are you? I'm like, what? Did they all watch the same show?"},{"startTime":646.563,"endTime":649.904,"body":"It's probably just the parents. It has to be the parents. Has to be. First"},{"startTime":649.924,"endTime":653.425,"body":"of all, we've all heard our dad say shit. My"},{"startTime":653.445,"endTime":656.567,"body":"dad never said fuck. I've never heard him say fuck, but I've heard"},{"startTime":656.587,"endTime":660.573,"body":"him say shit. Aren't you scared bringing me around your parents? Oh,"},{"startTime":660.593,"endTime":664.335,"body":"I was terrified of bringing my friends around my parents. Cause I knew they were all like college."},{"startTime":664.395,"endTime":667.778,"body":"I was like, well, it's like, I was like, just so you guys know, we"},{"startTime":667.818,"endTime":671.04,"body":"don't have very reserved. We don't, we never watched any movies with sex"},{"startTime":671.06,"endTime":674.562,"body":"scenes in them. I remember you're like salt burn. You're like the character in"},{"startTime":674.602,"endTime":677.984,"body":"salt. We're in the, um, we just didn't do it. No, you're like at"},{"startTime":678.044,"endTime":681.485,"body":"school, you had your ears pierced and you had your fucking, but you go home and honey, it's."},{"startTime":681.805,"endTime":685.606,"body":"Oh, I was so prim and proper. Like we accidentally"},{"startTime":685.626,"endTime":688.707,"body":"put on Bridesmaids once, or we didn't, it was on TV and my"},{"startTime":688.747,"endTime":692.128,"body":"sister and I were sitting with my dad and we were both like out, I was out of college, she"},{"startTime":692.148,"endTime":696.268,"body":"was out of college. And my dad was sitting there like, oh my God, remember"},{"startTime":696.308,"endTime":700.009,"body":"the scene in the beginning? Oh yeah, it's really awkward. It's awkward."},{"startTime":700.049,"endTime":703.31,"body":"It's an awkward scene to see with like adult older people. With your dad, you're like,"},{"startTime":703.35,"endTime":706.571,"body":"well. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and you're like. Yeah, and my dad's"},{"startTime":706.591,"endTime":710.014,"body":"like, What is this? It's adults. Get over it. We're all adults. So"},{"startTime":710.034,"endTime":713.237,"body":"that ruined the movie. So I'm like, let's go to a funny part. And then it was still like, not funny"},{"startTime":713.257,"endTime":716.4,"body":"because he hated that part. I don't picture your dad like that, though. Give him a few"},{"startTime":716.44,"endTime":719.784,"body":"beers. Exactly. He needs a few beers. And that's what I'm saying. I"},{"startTime":719.804,"endTime":722.987,"body":"don't think either one of them are like that, but they just do that. They like put"},{"startTime":723.027,"endTime":726.35,"body":"it on the front. That's the prim and proper way to be but that's where"},{"startTime":726.451,"endTime":729.674,"body":"I think like instead of having your kids going to the bathroom Why"},{"startTime":729.694,"endTime":733.018,"body":"don't you just be real with your fucking kids and say listen don't say the fuck word"},{"startTime":733.058,"endTime":736.161,"body":"at school Yeah, but like I'm gonna use it."},{"startTime":736.342,"endTime":739.465,"body":"I don't know I just think it's really weird that we're so fake with our kids growing up and"},{"startTime":739.485,"endTime":742.729,"body":"I get it you're trying to raise them in a good environment, but like It's true. You drag their"},{"startTime":742.769,"endTime":746.513,"body":"asses to church, you drag their shit all over the place and then you don't follow through. What"},{"startTime":746.694,"endTime":749.737,"body":"we need to teach them is how to code switch because I"},{"startTime":750.158,"endTime":753.381,"body":"think you do need to learn the respectful way of talking in the world, the"},{"startTime":753.421,"endTime":756.705,"body":"societal way, the proper cultural way in"},{"startTime":756.745,"endTime":760.009,"body":"order to interact in business situations or meetings or anything like"},{"startTime":760.029,"endTime":763.453,"body":"that. In general. In general, because you don't need to say fucking bitch this, bitch"},{"startTime":763.493,"endTime":766.737,"body":"that while you're shopping for groceries. Like that bitch over"},{"startTime":766.757,"endTime":770.081,"body":"there told me it was only $2. Like you don't need to say that. Just say"},{"startTime":770.101,"endTime":773.365,"body":"like, well, I thought it was $2, but that person told me, you know. But"},{"startTime":773.385,"endTime":776.548,"body":"bitch, don't lie when we found your weed. But don't lie to your kids. Don't lie to"},{"startTime":776.568,"endTime":780.351,"body":"your kids. When we find your weed, and then you're like, oh, those are workers. That's"},{"startTime":780.391,"endTime":783.554,"body":"a very specific story. It was. It was part of my childhood. When you find,"},{"startTime":784.315,"endTime":787.677,"body":"oh. We found a one hitter. Oh, I love that. That is"},{"startTime":787.797,"endTime":791.12,"body":"one thing that I'm like. That's one thing that bothers me about parents. Parents"},{"startTime":791.18,"endTime":794.743,"body":"act like they didn't ever do drugs. I remember my mom was like, your father"},{"startTime":794.803,"endTime":797.925,"body":"did marijuana in high school. Don't you remember, dear? And my sister was"},{"startTime":797.945,"endTime":801.648,"body":"supposed to be horrified, and my sister just started laughing. And"},{"startTime":801.748,"endTime":805.161,"body":"I was like. I talk about so many things this past weekend"},{"startTime":805.201,"endTime":808.665,"body":"when we're all together. Like your family, your parents too. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Fuck it."},{"startTime":808.685,"endTime":820.475,"body":"I was like, just so you guys know. Yeah. Like, That's"},{"startTime":820.535,"endTime":824.197,"body":"a thing. I think actually happening in the world, watching like, sorry, watching you"},{"startTime":824.918,"endTime":828.4,"body":"evolve from being a unicorn head"},{"startTime":828.9,"endTime":832.362,"body":"to fully embracing who you are to now. Always. You"},{"startTime":833.123,"endTime":836.665,"body":"were a throwback. You were a unicorn head."},{"startTime":836.705,"endTime":840.147,"body":"Not everyone listening now knows that used to be a unicorn head. Jim used to be Jim,"},{"startTime":840.167,"endTime":843.91,"body":"the unicorn. And I would not show my face on here ever. It"},{"startTime":843.95,"endTime":847.232,"body":"was illegal. And all of a sudden now he's like showing up"},{"startTime":847.272,"endTime":850.514,"body":"to rallies and showing his face all over the place. I really am"},{"startTime":850.554,"endTime":853.716,"body":"showing up. You're showing up and showing out. So we see we can't all"},{"startTime":853.756,"endTime":857.079,"body":"be allies like me. You are a really great ally. You just I think you pick"},{"startTime":857.139,"endTime":860.901,"body":"too much ally ship, though. You're like, yeah, today I'm going to march for string"},{"startTime":860.982,"endTime":864.544,"body":"cheese. It's like, why? I know, because my friend who's suffering hot"},{"startTime":864.564,"endTime":867.733,"body":"straight guy. That's the problem. Let's be"},{"startTime":867.793,"endTime":871.039,"body":"real. I will be an activist for anyone attracted. Any hot straight guy,"},{"startTime":871.06,"endTime":874.727,"body":"you're like, yep. What's the cause? Okay. Yeah. NFL players"},{"startTime":874.787,"endTime":877.918,"body":"need better shower. Okay. Yeah. Let's go. we"},{"startTime":877.938,"endTime":882.66,"body":"need to conserve water, but also shower together. Okay. Oh fuck. Rub"},{"startTime":882.68,"endTime":886.101,"body":"my back. Um, oh, that's so specific."},{"startTime":886.141,"endTime":889.362,"body":"I also just want to tie in this and then you can go to a subject. But speaking of"},{"startTime":889.462,"endTime":892.703,"body":"parents, there's a mom in, I"},{"startTime":892.763,"endTime":896.184,"body":"want to say Florida. I'm sure it's Florida. Maybe"},{"startTime":896.204,"endTime":899.925,"body":"it's not, but takes her kids to private school, private, like Christian school"},{"startTime":900.505,"endTime":903.686,"body":"drops them off. The bitch had an advertisement for"},{"startTime":903.726,"endTime":909.028,"body":"her only fans on the back of her car. Literally"},{"startTime":909.848,"endTime":913.209,"body":"and now she can't drop off and pick up her kids. Oh my god,"},{"startTime":913.249,"endTime":916.77,"body":"but you're gonna send them to the private Christian"},{"startTime":916.79,"endTime":920.39,"body":"school, but you're gonna but you are Model, so it's"},{"startTime":920.43,"endTime":924.371,"body":"got like the moms for Liberty woman. Who's bisexual? Filming"},{"startTime":924.391,"endTime":927.812,"body":"video. She's like lesbians are disgusting and it's like but"},{"startTime":927.992,"endTime":932.172,"body":"you are a full-blown you're as full as You're"},{"startTime":932.212,"endTime":935.553,"body":"worse than half the less is out there. I'm right and So"},{"startTime":935.693,"endTime":939.134,"body":"I'm just a little concerned for our straight community. I'm"},{"startTime":939.194,"endTime":942.455,"body":"really, really, I'm hoping. It's not adding up. Nothing's adding"},{"startTime":942.695,"endTime":946.095,"body":"up. Like you want this for your kids supposedly, but then. So"},{"startTime":946.115,"endTime":949.576,"body":"I found this out to piggyback. Do you know now in Ohio that"},{"startTime":950.076,"endTime":953.377,"body":"you don't have to pay tuition to private schools because of this fucking act"},{"startTime":953.437,"endTime":956.598,"body":"they passed? I guess we have a levy or something. No, it's like a"},{"startTime":956.718,"endTime":959.858,"body":"statewide act that no matter what school you"},{"startTime":959.878,"endTime":963.819,"body":"send your kids to, it's going to be paid for, including religious schools. So"},{"startTime":963.919,"endTime":968.402,"body":"my niece and nephew go to a"},{"startTime":968.483,"endTime":972.125,"body":"Catholic school. What about lunch? Do they pay for that yet? No, they don't want to"},{"startTime":972.165,"endTime":975.367,"body":"pay for that, but they'll pay for a Catholic school. Because my"},{"startTime":975.407,"endTime":978.57,"body":"sister was like, oh yeah, we don't have to pay tuition anymore. And I was like, what do you mean? Because they want"},{"startTime":978.59,"endTime":981.912,"body":"people to go to And I asked her, I was like, and that's"},{"startTime":981.952,"endTime":985.155,"body":"all fine and great for this particular school because I survived Catholic school, I"},{"startTime":985.195,"endTime":988.638,"body":"know it's fine. But I was like, but a lot of people don't want to pay for"},{"startTime":988.898,"endTime":992.061,"body":"religious education, that it's not their religion. I said, what"},{"startTime":992.101,"endTime":995.223,"body":"if a bunch of Somali Muslims opened up"},{"startTime":995.524,"endTime":998.726,"body":"a private Muslim academy for"},{"startTime":998.806,"endTime":1002.048,"body":"only young boys? and they took a trip back to"},{"startTime":1002.088,"endTime":1005.57,"body":"Somalia once a summer. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, that's paid"},{"startTime":1005.63,"endTime":1008.791,"body":"for. That would be paid for because it's a private school. Do you know, I had"},{"startTime":1008.811,"endTime":1012.192,"body":"a real wouldn't want it. People would change the law. White, white Christian"},{"startTime":1012.212,"endTime":1015.413,"body":"men in the state house would change. So you heard about Iowa. I"},{"startTime":1015.473,"endTime":1018.914,"body":"had a really like fucked up moment there, but you hear about Iowa state house that any religious"},{"startTime":1018.954,"endTime":1022.575,"body":"article has to be respected. And so the church of Satan"},{"startTime":1022.615,"endTime":1026.657,"body":"brought their little thing. And now everybody's pissed off at some guy arrested. He's going to shoot everybody. I"},{"startTime":1026.677,"endTime":1029.918,"body":"thought to myself, why don't We as gays just get smart and"},{"startTime":1029.958,"endTime":1033.621,"body":"become a religion. We should start a church of homosexuality. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1033.661,"endTime":1037.003,"body":"like you can't talk to us like that. We're protected under. We are a church."},{"startTime":1037.223,"endTime":1040.705,"body":"We are a non-profit church. Why not? Because"},{"startTime":1040.725,"endTime":1043.848,"body":"we're so, we hate religion so much. No,"},{"startTime":1043.888,"endTime":1047.23,"body":"we can pray to whoever the fuck you want. But literally we should do that. Okay, RuPaul's our"},{"startTime":1047.25,"endTime":1050.492,"body":"Jesus. You can do that. Like Mormons just made up a religion. They"},{"startTime":1050.512,"endTime":1054.034,"body":"came to America and they were like, Yeah, there's a whole other book of the Bible. His"},{"startTime":1054.074,"endTime":1057.275,"body":"name is Joseph was like, yeah, I found a book in my backyard. So"},{"startTime":1057.295,"endTime":1060.656,"body":"let's try a salty area just so he can marry other women"},{"startTime":1060.696,"endTime":1064.437,"body":"like it. Again, that's a religion. That's a religion. Everybody"},{"startTime":1064.457,"endTime":1067.818,"body":"people respect it. People are like the Mormons are good. Yeah, it's like, why"},{"startTime":1067.878,"endTime":1071.339,"body":"can't we have a church like that? Where we're like, this is our religion. You have to respect that"},{"startTime":1071.359,"endTime":1074.54,"body":"communion. You have to sorry, but that's what I don't want to do it."},{"startTime":1074.64,"endTime":1077.961,"body":"Yeah. So if we did declare ourselves a religious institution that"},{"startTime":1077.981,"endTime":1082.345,"body":"we could like hang the pride flag in a capital and they would freak the fuck Oh,"},{"startTime":1082.405,"endTime":1085.548,"body":"it's not an extremist group. It's a religion. I"},{"startTime":1085.588,"endTime":1088.83,"body":"like, Oh no, now it's not okay. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, not"},{"startTime":1088.87,"endTime":1092.911,"body":"that religion, Christian religion. It's like, okay."},{"startTime":1092.932,"endTime":1095.973,"body":"So why don't you just say it's about that? And honestly, I, again, I"},{"startTime":1096.153,"endTime":1100.335,"body":"would respect you so much more. You straights, honestly, if you would, if"},{"startTime":1100.355,"endTime":1103.917,"body":"they lived by it, white straight Christians, if you would just absolutely be"},{"startTime":1103.977,"endTime":1107.358,"body":"who you are, but don't fake it and don't do shit behind"},{"startTime":1107.538,"endTime":1111.4,"body":"everyone's back. Like we know you're doing and you're all fucking corrupt. It's"},{"startTime":1111.44,"endTime":1115.103,"body":"gross. You're gross. Like I know so many of these Bible verses"},{"startTime":1115.263,"endTime":1118.526,"body":"in their bios on Instagram. And"},{"startTime":1118.566,"endTime":1122.309,"body":"they're going around fucking everything in sight. They're blacking out on the weekends. And"},{"startTime":1122.329,"endTime":1125.592,"body":"then it's like, but then they want to live Sundays. They're like show off their chain"},{"startTime":1125.632,"endTime":1128.855,"body":"with a cross and the tattoo cross. But I know what"},{"startTime":1128.895,"endTime":1132.157,"body":"they're doing every other day. And I'm against abortion. But yeah, they've had their girlfriend get"},{"startTime":1132.217,"endTime":1135.461,"body":"three. Yeah, it's like, guys, It's always the Christians. Just stop"},{"startTime":1135.501,"endTime":1139.265,"body":"pretending. It's always the Christians getting abortions. That's what's fucked up. Oh,"},{"startTime":1139.365,"endTime":1142.709,"body":"you want gay people not to adopt. Okay, so you don't want abortions, you"},{"startTime":1142.73,"endTime":1146.054,"body":"don't want adoptions. And I knew two girls in high school who"},{"startTime":1146.094,"endTime":1149.5,"body":"only did anal. Yeah, no"},{"startTime":1149.52,"endTime":1152.861,"body":"because they said that it wasn't right sex. It's"},{"startTime":1152.941,"endTime":1156.343,"body":"not and I'm like Yeah, Megan, it's"},{"startTime":1156.403,"endTime":1159.524,"body":"a Megan Megan Megan. It's still a sign. That's what I"},{"startTime":1159.544,"endTime":1162.825,"body":"would say. It's still it's like calling a spade a spade or what is it called? Call"},{"startTime":1162.845,"endTime":1166.007,"body":"a spade a spade. It's sex like you're getting in"},{"startTime":1166.027,"endTime":1169.75,"body":"your body. Oh And you know you're fingering your pussy while it's happening. Oh yeah."},{"startTime":1169.81,"endTime":1172.994,"body":"Or he is. There's no way he's just like, pull down your pants."},{"startTime":1173.014,"endTime":1176.257,"body":"Fingers don't count. And I'll go in the back. So you make all"},{"startTime":1176.297,"endTime":1179.521,"body":"these rules up. Boy, are you going to write a new book that says like, fingering's okay. This"},{"startTime":1179.601,"endTime":1182.845,"body":"is a religion. I can't. I can't. It was religious girls too"},{"startTime":1182.865,"endTime":1186.128,"body":"who decided like, only vaginal counts as sex."},{"startTime":1186.837,"endTime":1190.1,"body":"They were both religious girls. It's just like the soaking for the Mormons. It's like they"},{"startTime":1190.12,"endTime":1193.403,"body":"like are absolutely inserted, but if they don't thrust, it's not"},{"startTime":1193.443,"endTime":1196.786,"body":"sex. Oh, I forgot about the soaking. Girl, bye. Like, get the fuck out"},{"startTime":1196.826,"endTime":1200.33,"body":"of here. I was watching the Grammys last night. I have some things to say. Okay, bring"},{"startTime":1200.37,"endTime":1203.753,"body":"it up because I didn't watch and I'm so confused. Okay, so first of all, Heather McMahon was"},{"startTime":1203.893,"endTime":1207.536,"body":"on the red carpet, on E!, as a fashion, like"},{"startTime":1207.857,"endTime":1211.019,"body":"John Rivers used to do. Wait, she did it for something before this,"},{"startTime":1211.059,"endTime":1214.402,"body":"too. Yeah, and then they brought her back to the Emmys, so she's probably gonna be a regular now. Oh, the Emmys, and"},{"startTime":1214.422,"endTime":1217.764,"body":"then she did Grammys. Yep. Okay, good. Okay, she needs that."},{"startTime":1217.904,"endTime":1221.107,"body":"First of all, no offense to Laverne Cox, like, good for you, girl, but"},{"startTime":1221.147,"endTime":1224.69,"body":"you suck at interviews, and you're just like, so, me"},{"startTime":1224.75,"endTime":1228.112,"body":"and my husband, or my boyfriend, and I'm like, nobody cares about you, girl, like,"},{"startTime":1228.292,"endTime":1231.535,"body":"ask the questions. I know, it is. And Heather would be like, oh my God, this"},{"startTime":1231.695,"endTime":1234.817,"body":"and this and this. I love you, here we go again. Yeah, like, oh, and I was at Radio City Hall, and"},{"startTime":1234.897,"endTime":1238.079,"body":"you signed the book, And I was so nervous and you said you were nervous in the book. It's"},{"startTime":1238.099,"endTime":1241.642,"body":"good because she's saying because she's really and she's and she's real. She's"},{"startTime":1241.682,"endTime":1244.924,"body":"a pot. Yes. Yeah, like Laverne is an actress to me"},{"startTime":1245.024,"endTime":1248.266,"body":"like Lauren just act and she acts like that when she's like,"},{"startTime":1248.286,"endTime":1251.368,"body":"she's like so stiff and rigid. I'm like, yeah, like this needs to be"},{"startTime":1251.388,"endTime":1255.39,"body":"Heather's full-time gig. Like we don't need Laverne anymore. Laverne. You're the second. Sorry."},{"startTime":1255.41,"endTime":1258.892,"body":"We want Heather, but there were some things that I saw that I was a little interested"},{"startTime":1258.933,"endTime":1262.185,"body":"in number one. Dua Lipa killed it."},{"startTime":1262.645,"endTime":1265.928,"body":"Okay. Number two, Taylor Swift used"},{"startTime":1265.948,"endTime":1269.211,"body":"her time to market, which I, I,"},{"startTime":1269.331,"endTime":1272.654,"body":"it's so bizarre to me. I want a fucking break from Taylor"},{"startTime":1272.674,"endTime":1276.237,"body":"Swift. We all need a break. Take a sabbatical Taylor, because we're tired."},{"startTime":1276.317,"endTime":1279.7,"body":"It's so funny though, because I feel like other me what?"},{"startTime":1280.02,"endTime":1283.451,"body":"No, I used to be like that. And now I'm kind of like, Look"},{"startTime":1283.491,"endTime":1286.712,"body":"what you made me do. I don't know, I think it's like just, but I get"},{"startTime":1286.752,"endTime":1290.033,"body":"it. I'm just exhausted. I'm kind of tired of it too. Okay, someone at work today was like,"},{"startTime":1290.413,"endTime":1293.714,"body":"Taylor has a new album coming out. I said, she has a new album coming out"},{"startTime":1293.754,"endTime":1297.755,"body":"every three months around the clock. It hasn't been, it's every three"},{"startTime":1297.795,"endTime":1301.457,"body":"months we get a new album. Well, now it's a real new written one. She's fucking releasing,"},{"startTime":1301.517,"endTime":1304.598,"body":"re-releasing new, old, it's all the same story. Now the re-release is for the"},{"startTime":1304.618,"endTime":1308.419,"body":"rape. It's all about breakups. No one cares. Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":1308.479,"endTime":1311.86,"body":"tough. It's boring. It's tough. I don't think she has any life experience to"},{"startTime":1311.9,"endTime":1315.163,"body":"write about. Well, not anymore. All you're doing is walking around being rich."},{"startTime":1315.223,"endTime":1318.508,"body":"You're constantly touring and writing and re-releasing old albums, writing"},{"startTime":1318.548,"endTime":1322.012,"body":"new albums. Like, what do you do during life? Like, do you have life? Do"},{"startTime":1322.052,"endTime":1325.256,"body":"you just have a life? Well, you just fly the planes around. She's going to"},{"startTime":1325.276,"endTime":1328.801,"body":"football games for fun. I don't think she has any normal"},{"startTime":1328.861,"endTime":1332.244,"body":"moment. Left probably not and that's kind of like how politicians are."},{"startTime":1332.284,"endTime":1335.566,"body":"It's yeah, that's why I become so that's why I feel like she's it's like"},{"startTime":1335.606,"endTime":1338.708,"body":"at that stage now, but you don't know really what's going on because you"},{"startTime":1338.728,"endTime":1343.111,"body":"want to act like did you see the title like the title something about like the something poets"},{"startTime":1343.131,"endTime":1346.813,"body":"and I was like She's not a poet first of all Like"},{"startTime":1347.054,"endTime":1350.656,"body":"no, just no she's been brought up in the culture of"},{"startTime":1351.216,"endTime":1354.759,"body":"I hate Taylor Swift. She's not a poet for"},{"startTime":1354.819,"endTime":1358.081,"body":"me. I'm kind of like being rebellious with them be"},{"startTime":1358.101,"endTime":1361.705,"body":"like yeah fuck you yeah taylor do it let's do it taylor but for"},{"startTime":1361.765,"endTime":1365.128,"body":"a lot of people i understand why it is quite annoying a"},{"startTime":1365.169,"endTime":1368.572,"body":"religion i don't really listen to her though i just kind of like it because it pisses everybody off"},{"startTime":1368.592,"endTime":1371.915,"body":"so i'm kind of like yeah here we go it's fine it's like i don't really care"},{"startTime":1371.955,"endTime":1375.179,"body":"about her and i don't i'm just tired of her like because it's"},{"startTime":1375.239,"endTime":1378.502,"body":"constantly brought up and the people are obsessed with her will not shut up about it"},{"startTime":1378.562,"endTime":1381.885,"body":"it's like Go enjoy it. That's fine. I want you to enjoy"},{"startTime":1381.945,"endTime":1385.148,"body":"it. But when I go to a concert, I don't necessarily need to tell"},{"startTime":1385.268,"endTime":1388.531,"body":"every person I know about the concert. Yeah, it's it's"},{"startTime":1388.711,"endTime":1392.034,"body":"like I went to Beyonce. I'm not walking around being like I was at Beyonce this past"},{"startTime":1392.074,"endTime":1395.317,"body":"summer about that. Whereas everybody else is like, I"},{"startTime":1395.357,"endTime":1398.641,"body":"went to Taylor. Did you see Taylor? I actually gotta"},{"startTime":1398.661,"endTime":1401.743,"body":"just say, I think I'm just over the entire industry and the"},{"startTime":1401.763,"endTime":1404.845,"body":"whole thing of it. It's a pretend. Because then all of a sudden, so there's a"},{"startTime":1404.865,"endTime":1408.107,"body":"few things. So Jay-Z won like something of the year and he goes up there and"},{"startTime":1408.127,"endTime":1411.209,"body":"he's blabbing around looking at his ugly ass self. Blue Ivy's up there. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1411.229,"endTime":1414.271,"body":"he looks so messed up. He's so ugly, I don't get it. But he made a"},{"startTime":1414.311,"endTime":1417.473,"body":"good point. About the album? Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":1417.513,"endTime":1420.674,"body":"like, oh. I get it. So she's good enough to win the most awards for"},{"startTime":1420.714,"endTime":1424.197,"body":"you guys. But not the album of the year. She should've won for Lemonade. That's"},{"startTime":1424.217,"endTime":1427.398,"body":"where she should've won. That's when she should've won. That's the one she went on. Renaissance is"},{"startTime":1427.458,"endTime":1430.859,"body":"also an amazing like I don't say like people don't make great complete"},{"startTime":1430.979,"endTime":1434.16,"body":"album. So yeah, I don't think she was very strong in it at first But"},{"startTime":1434.18,"endTime":1437.361,"body":"I think when she came out lemonade in the it was like, oh, wow, like it was like more than"},{"startTime":1437.441,"endTime":1440.982,"body":"every genre Yeah, all the songs connected. She made a visual album."},{"startTime":1441.002,"endTime":1444.703,"body":"Like it was so good. I think to myself like what? And"},{"startTime":1444.743,"endTime":1447.883,"body":"then you put that but I've Harry Styles one, right? But yeah, and"},{"startTime":1447.923,"endTime":1451.364,"body":"that's a thing. It's like very Subjective it"},{"startTime":1451.524,"endTime":1455.028,"body":"is no matter what it is whoever wins. It's subjective. I Decision"},{"startTime":1455.108,"endTime":1458.189,"body":"so but only like nine black women have won since the"},{"startTime":1458.809,"endTime":1462.269,"body":"1950s when it was started album of the year None have won in the 2000. We"},{"startTime":1462.57,"endTime":1466.07,"body":"start writing better album. So it's been 24 years now. I'm lazy ass bitches"},{"startTime":1466.15,"endTime":1469.591,"body":"None of no black woman. So it's like it is a little funky"},{"startTime":1469.691,"endTime":1474.272,"body":"a little for me. It's a little racist, but here's my thing Use"},{"startTime":1474.332,"endTime":1477.672,"body":"your platform in your time to thank your fans and"},{"startTime":1477.792,"endTime":1481.231,"body":"you this is your word. Why are you talking about your fucking wife? Oh Well,"},{"startTime":1481.491,"endTime":1485.894,"body":"his fans might be pissed about it. Most black people are. And also,"},{"startTime":1485.914,"endTime":1489.616,"body":"and I listened to NBR today, that's how I found this out. They also don't"},{"startTime":1489.896,"endTime":1493.097,"body":"air any of the rap performances or when the"},{"startTime":1493.157,"endTime":1496.479,"body":"rap album of the year gets awarded. They didn't air best"},{"startTime":1496.619,"endTime":1500.041,"body":"African music award, even though it was like the inaugural year or something"},{"startTime":1500.081,"endTime":1503.523,"body":"like, so they don't really show the black artists at the Grammys either."},{"startTime":1504.268,"endTime":1507.49,"body":"Actually, that's really kind of the performances. They don't show the black artists. They just"},{"startTime":1507.51,"endTime":1510.932,"body":"show like, well, we saw we saw."},{"startTime":1511.192,"endTime":1514.374,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. So regardless, the whole thing is"},{"startTime":1514.414,"endTime":1517.937,"body":"very fucking bizarre. Like, for example, the in memorandum or"},{"startTime":1517.957,"endTime":1521.179,"body":"whatever, if a member or whatever, like, when they"},{"startTime":1521.239,"endTime":1524.961,"body":"like, yeah, we have Stevie Wonder who I'm like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1524.981,"endTime":1530.871,"body":"he died. I don't remember that he died. He's alive. He's"},{"startTime":1530.931,"endTime":1534.114,"body":"alive. I don't really care, but he starts talking about I don't"},{"startTime":1534.134,"endTime":1537.316,"body":"remember who's talking about he's blind, right? Yeah, yeah, and"},{"startTime":1537.476,"endTime":1543.601,"body":"when you and that's his big thing. Here's the thing and this is no offense. I feel like Like"},{"startTime":1543.621,"endTime":1546.804,"body":"how are you calling me at 551? Okay, so"},{"startTime":1546.824,"endTime":1550.027,"body":"like so Stevie Wonder comes out he saw he's talking about"},{"startTime":1550.067,"endTime":1553.169,"body":"it, but he was like doing this weird I don't remember who's talking about which would be"},{"startTime":1553.249,"endTime":1556.312,"body":"very Oh Jimmy Buffett. No. Oh, no I"},{"startTime":1557.708,"endTime":1561.252,"body":"Tony Bennett, but"},{"startTime":1561.292,"endTime":1564.464,"body":"it's so awkward because he's like, You"},{"startTime":1564.524,"endTime":1567.806,"body":"know, and again, I'm not trying to make fun of our"},{"startTime":1568.606,"endTime":1572.748,"body":"certain crappy capables. It's like,"},{"startTime":1572.768,"endTime":1577.551,"body":"sorry, but like, I really don't think you should put somebody who cannot see"},{"startTime":1577.771,"endTime":1581.613,"body":"or hear as the leader of something like important"},{"startTime":1581.633,"endTime":1585.135,"body":"where you have to read and see. Come on, come on. Yeah, they're like, he's like, and then,"},{"startTime":1585.775,"endTime":1589.017,"body":"well, because he can't remember. And I'm like, oh, you're 90 years"},{"startTime":1589.137,"endTime":1592.318,"body":"old. So literally he's trying to like, they're like, terrible. The person behind"},{"startTime":1592.358,"endTime":1595.679,"body":"the monitor is like, just read the words. He started at the wrong time. They played the wrong"},{"startTime":1595.719,"endTime":1598.879,"body":"fucking clip. It was terrible. So then to top it all"},{"startTime":1599.04,"endTime":1602.34,"body":"off, Sinead O'Connor died. Oh, I saw that. So then Annie"},{"startTime":1602.4,"endTime":1605.941,"body":"Lennox comes out with a fake, but this is what I don't understand."},{"startTime":1606.041,"endTime":1609.362,"body":"I'm like, girl, first of all, you're 80. I didn't realize she"},{"startTime":1609.402,"endTime":1613.683,"body":"was that old. She's old as fuck. She comes out and she's like, has a tear painted"},{"startTime":1613.903,"endTime":1617.364,"body":"on her face. And I'm just like, we can't even be genuine"},{"startTime":1617.404,"endTime":1621.185,"body":"about tears. Like we're literally just, she's like, what's the song that she"},{"startTime":1621.445,"endTime":1624.487,"body":"sings? It's a print song. Originally. It's a"},{"startTime":1624.527,"endTime":1627.708,"body":"really good song though. Something in, Oh, so in"},{"startTime":1627.768,"endTime":1632.615,"body":"April or sometimes it snows in April. Literally"},{"startTime":1632.635,"endTime":1635.757,"body":"just made that uh, that's a real song from Prince. Oh, it's purple or what's"},{"startTime":1635.777,"endTime":1640.08,"body":"called. I'm telling you I'm delusional And"},{"startTime":1640.14,"endTime":1643.442,"body":"then the icing on the cake for me was that one"},{"startTime":1643.482,"endTime":1647.005,"body":"bitch I can't think of her name right now, but she came out and flipped"},{"startTime":1647.045,"endTime":1650.374,"body":"around in her little I mean, it was so, I can't"},{"startTime":1650.394,"endTime":1653.695,"body":"even. Oh, I'm horrified. I gotta find a picture. I love this. Like what trash?"},{"startTime":1653.715,"endTime":1656.897,"body":"I was fucking horrified. Whoever this"},{"startTime":1657.017,"endTime":1660.939,"body":"is, I can't even think of her name. Uh, Joni Mitchell. Oh,"},{"startTime":1661.119,"endTime":1664.781,"body":"I know. That's how she is now. She comes out. Girl, that's how she's been. Girl, what"},{"startTime":1664.881,"endTime":1668.703,"body":"are we? No, no, no, no, no. Why are we in an old lady? Because Brandi Carlile"},{"startTime":1668.743,"endTime":1672.104,"body":"has been like. Reviving all these old bitches' careers. So she"},{"startTime":1672.384,"endTime":1675.726,"body":"has been performing with Joni and like Joni won't come out. Is there a cat there?"},{"startTime":1676.328,"endTime":1679.55,"body":"No, that's my dog. Oh God. I freaked out. I was like, did"},{"startTime":1679.61,"endTime":1683.072,"body":"Joni bring a cat? No, but I just was so horrified watching"},{"startTime":1683.092,"endTime":1687.714,"body":"the performance. Did you see it? I"},{"startTime":1687.754,"endTime":1691.076,"body":"mean, it is like scary now. I"},{"startTime":1691.156,"endTime":1694.618,"body":"actually was like, and people are just like looking like, yay. I"},{"startTime":1694.658,"endTime":1697.9,"body":"was actually horrified. She smoked too many"},{"startTime":1697.94,"endTime":1701.742,"body":"cigarettes and like, she can't sing anymore. Like her voice is gone. Watch."},{"startTime":1701.762,"endTime":1705.103,"body":"She probably had throat cancer and I'm like making fun of it, but I just can't"},{"startTime":1705.143,"endTime":1708.665,"body":"with this. I know we're well, do you remember when they wheeled out Liza Minnelli?"},{"startTime":1708.705,"endTime":1713.646,"body":"This is exactly like this is actually Yeah,"},{"startTime":1713.906,"endTime":1720.288,"body":"I got you it's like you don't"},{"startTime":1720.609,"endTime":1723.81,"body":"need But they wheeled her chair she's like"},{"startTime":1723.85,"endTime":1726.923,"body":"this in the chair and she's like oh And it's just showing her at"},{"startTime":1726.943,"endTime":1730.404,"body":"first you're like are we at grandmother old time grandmother times"},{"startTime":1730.444,"endTime":1734.186,"body":"like reading hours when she's like Then"},{"startTime":1734.226,"endTime":1737.788,"body":"they turn her fucking chair on the chair spins around and"},{"startTime":1737.828,"endTime":1741.289,"body":"she's like this crip keeping I know and I'm like lady She"},{"startTime":1741.329,"endTime":1748.113,"body":"looks like she's holding She looks like she is dead Probably"},{"startTime":1748.493,"endTime":1752.115,"body":"brought her This"},{"startTime":1752.756,"endTime":1756.118,"body":"Scepter, that's what it makes me feel like an hour to her good"},{"startTime":1756.158,"endTime":1759.279,"body":"you were a great musician at her time But like at some point we've got"},{"startTime":1759.299,"endTime":1762.681,"body":"to show a little bit of integrity and stop wheeling these people out. It's"},{"startTime":1762.721,"endTime":1766.003,"body":"not good and in I Liza Minnelli was fully demented. Lady Gaga's like,"},{"startTime":1766.103,"endTime":1769.304,"body":"I got you. She's like, I'm a little nervous. I know"},{"startTime":1769.344,"endTime":1773.165,"body":"what I'm doing. My mom was a coke addict. It's like Liza. So"},{"startTime":1773.205,"endTime":1776.646,"body":"are you? So are you? Because your brain's fried. Um, so anyway, that's,"},{"startTime":1776.846,"endTime":1780.247,"body":"that's the Grammy's in a nutshell. So it was very, that's why I didn't watch. Cause it's always"},{"startTime":1780.287,"endTime":1783.868,"body":"like, there's always just like performance, performance, terrible performance, terrible"},{"startTime":1783.888,"endTime":1787.169,"body":"performance. I will say Dua Lipa and"},{"startTime":1787.209,"endTime":1790.648,"body":"Miley Cyrus's performance. Yeah. Miley Cyrus"},{"startTime":1790.668,"endTime":1794.375,"body":"performs. I feel like Miley is this sleeper amazing. She's"},{"startTime":1794.476,"endTime":1797.983,"body":"a sleeper. She's not getting enough recognition. She finally won her first Grammy. Oh,"},{"startTime":1798.023,"endTime":1801.203,"body":"really? Yeah. This was her first. But"},{"startTime":1801.243,"endTime":1804.325,"body":"think about her. I think about her road, though. I mean, we"},{"startTime":1804.365,"endTime":1807.807,"body":"had like, think about how like about her trajectory, though."},{"startTime":1807.827,"endTime":1811.209,"body":"It's like all these 80 songs that she did, like are so good."},{"startTime":1811.249,"endTime":1814.451,"body":"So this is where years a few years ago, this is where she figured it"},{"startTime":1814.571,"endTime":1818.413,"body":"out. She figured it out that she can be a retro R\u0026B."},{"startTime":1818.593,"endTime":1822.536,"body":"And so, I mean, yeah, I saw that. I mean, she I love the hair. It's"},{"startTime":1822.596,"endTime":1825.858,"body":"like 70s, like it was like I was like, I"},{"startTime":1825.898,"endTime":1829.081,"body":"mean, that's beautiful. And at the end she throws down the microphone. I"},{"startTime":1829.101,"endTime":1833.565,"body":"mean, it's just, she's a full rock star to me now."},{"startTime":1834.126,"endTime":1837.829,"body":"Now what else you got? I got some topics. So, all right. All right."},{"startTime":1838.029,"endTime":1841.252,"body":"So I went away this week with family when we left"},{"startTime":1841.312,"endTime":1844.475,"body":"on Friday. Oh my crack. It's only"},{"startTime":1844.495,"endTime":1847.918,"body":"a four and a half hour drive. He's not here. No, She"},{"startTime":1847.938,"endTime":1851.12,"body":"died right before the Grammys. At the Hilton. Yeah, it's kind of"},{"startTime":1851.18,"endTime":1854.402,"body":"a sordid subject. So I went with family to"},{"startTime":1854.462,"endTime":1857.603,"body":"French Lick for a half hour drive. It's in the middle of nowhere. You kind of feel like"},{"startTime":1857.623,"endTime":1861.305,"body":"you're in Hocking Hills because there's hills everywhere. But it's beautiful. You"},{"startTime":1861.325,"endTime":1864.627,"body":"show up and you're like at this resort. You walk in. I mean, you"},{"startTime":1864.647,"endTime":1868.229,"body":"saw pictures, right? That's beautiful. Gorgeous. Fucking gorgeous."},{"startTime":1870.954,"endTime":1874.155,"body":"You're such a bitch. No, it is. It reminds me of, um, like"},{"startTime":1874.195,"endTime":1877.597,"body":"Caesar's palace or like, it's a very grand. Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":1877.657,"endTime":1881.698,"body":"Very grandiose. Very built in 1840s though. So it's not like Caesar's palace."},{"startTime":1881.878,"endTime":1885.199,"body":"It's like, it's like the, it is like that place that I went in West"},{"startTime":1885.219,"endTime":1888.54,"body":"Virginia. Um, Briar Hill, Briar Park,"},{"startTime":1888.58,"endTime":1892.141,"body":"Greenbrier, Greenbrier, I masturbated in the indoor showers at"},{"startTime":1892.161,"endTime":1895.663,"body":"the pool in the indoor pool. Wait, that's"},{"startTime":1895.743,"endTime":1899.864,"body":"interesting because anyway, anyway, um, Well,"},{"startTime":1899.884,"endTime":1903.705,"body":"I mutually masturbated with Michael. Oh, I"},{"startTime":1903.745,"endTime":1908.746,"body":"was like, who was that? Greenbrier? It was like a, we were like, oh yeah. Wait,"},{"startTime":1908.766,"endTime":1912.087,"body":"did they have curtains on the stall? It was like, so you left your curtain open or"},{"startTime":1912.107,"endTime":1915.788,"body":"you were in the same stall? We were in the same stall and then like, Oh, that's weird. You"},{"startTime":1915.888,"endTime":1920.149,"body":"freaks. We're freaks. I know I did that with, well, yeah. Anyway,"},{"startTime":1920.309,"endTime":1923.569,"body":"Myrtle Beach, me and Matt after our massage, um, in"},{"startTime":1923.59,"endTime":1927.16,"body":"the hot tub. So the Um,"},{"startTime":1927.34,"endTime":1930.701,"body":"yeah, well, it only gets emptied every"},{"startTime":1930.741,"endTime":1933.942,"body":"time and cleaned. So it's like, really? Yeah, because it was like"},{"startTime":1933.982,"endTime":1937.443,"body":"a tub that they fill with hot water. Gotcha. Gotcha. But it's a big tub"},{"startTime":1937.483,"endTime":1942.384,"body":"for two. So it's not dirty, dirty whore. Okay,"},{"startTime":1943.084,"endTime":1946.285,"body":"one thing I just want to it was a family trip. It was great. We are all"},{"startTime":1946.325,"endTime":1949.625,"body":"there. We're having fun. But one thing I forgot about is"},{"startTime":1949.705,"endTime":1953.068,"body":"family. No, When you're outside of"},{"startTime":1953.128,"endTime":1956.551,"body":"Columbus and you go to a more conservative state, I"},{"startTime":1956.651,"endTime":1959.893,"body":"felt like such an outcast the whole time. Everyone was staring at"},{"startTime":1959.933,"endTime":1963.276,"body":"me. These nails, honey? Those nails, honey. People would"},{"startTime":1963.296,"endTime":1966.379,"body":"just be talking and then stop talking and be like, well, if"},{"startTime":1966.439,"endTime":1970.402,"body":"you'd like, I'm sorry, you're homosexual. I'm like, you just stared"},{"startTime":1970.422,"endTime":1973.784,"body":"at them and then restarted. Now show the camera your"},{"startTime":1973.845,"endTime":1977.387,"body":"nails. And now we have Halloween. Not Halloween, Valentine's"},{"startTime":1977.427,"endTime":1981.691,"body":"Day. God So"},{"startTime":1981.731,"endTime":1984.994,"body":"did you feel the stairs like you felt like or do you think that people were"},{"startTime":1985.014,"endTime":1988.116,"body":"just curious? It was real. No, it was like evil. A lot of these are"},{"startTime":1988.156,"endTime":1992.16,"body":"like the classic. Yeah, I mean there are Trump voters, you know, this"},{"startTime":1992.18,"endTime":1995.362,"body":"is Southern, Indiana. What do you expect? They have more KKK members in"},{"startTime":1995.402,"endTime":1998.465,"body":"Indiana than any other honestly I feel like there's a lot of dick sucking in"},{"startTime":1998.485,"endTime":2001.728,"body":"Indiana. I'm now there were several people on Sniffy's right"},{"startTime":2001.788,"endTime":2005.01,"body":"like in my resort all private sniffy several cocks"},{"startTime":2005.03,"endTime":2008.634,"body":"out And"},{"startTime":2008.714,"endTime":2011.897,"body":"I did see a couple men in the pool area that I do"},{"startTime":2011.937,"endTime":2015.121,"body":"believe were eyeing. Oh yeah. And"},{"startTime":2015.181,"endTime":2018.304,"body":"so I was like, Oh, I'm sorry. You're with your family, but I can't do"},{"startTime":2018.324,"endTime":2021.448,"body":"anything about that. Sorry. You're looking at me. Yeah. Like what do you want me to"},{"startTime":2021.468,"endTime":2024.655,"body":"do? Hey, hi. Hey girl. Hey. I've got a hole you could"},{"startTime":2024.695,"endTime":2027.976,"body":"eat, but you're busy with your son in the hot tub. Have fun"},{"startTime":2028.016,"endTime":2031.137,"body":"with your family. Have fun with your fucking family. God, you have this"},{"startTime":2031.177,"endTime":2034.298,"body":"hole. So yeah, it's a little awkward being in"},{"startTime":2034.318,"endTime":2037.439,"body":"the small town environment because other than the resort, it's very small town. I"},{"startTime":2037.479,"endTime":2041.16,"body":"hate that too. And I just have advice for people from small towns. Leave."},{"startTime":2042.08,"endTime":2046.022,"body":"Well, other than leave, I want you to realize that what you think is"},{"startTime":2046.082,"endTime":2050.123,"body":"the best of something, of a category, is not the best. So"},{"startTime":2050.183,"endTime":2053.484,"body":"we got a shuttle ride from the resort to this place called"},{"startTime":2053.504,"endTime":2056.966,"body":"Chicago's Pizza. It was a pizza joint. Not only best pizza,"},{"startTime":2057.006,"endTime":2060.567,"body":"they said, the shuttle driver was like, it's the best stromboli and"},{"startTime":2060.587,"endTime":2063.988,"body":"the best ham and cheese sandwich you'll ever have. So my stepson gets"},{"startTime":2064.329,"endTime":2068.31,"body":"a stromboli because it's the best. And we were just told this. It"},{"startTime":2068.37,"endTime":2071.792,"body":"comes out, it is dry, crusty sub bread, like"},{"startTime":2071.832,"endTime":2074.933,"body":"Subway bread, but dried and crusty. No sauce on it."},{"startTime":2075.694,"endTime":2078.975,"body":"And then crumbled sausage, but it's that sausage that is like"},{"startTime":2079.556,"endTime":2082.877,"body":"little tiny BBs. Not the, not the, like"},{"startTime":2082.917,"endTime":2086.079,"body":"ground, ground to the point where you don't have to chew it. Like ground to"},{"startTime":2086.119,"endTime":2089.801,"body":"the point where there's not a single piece is a bite. It's all just like little"},{"startTime":2089.841,"endTime":2093.002,"body":"crumbles, like little, yeah. And then there was one"},{"startTime":2093.042,"endTime":2096.204,"body":"melted cheese slice and then like a tiny bit of red sauce on top"},{"startTime":2096.224,"endTime":2099.485,"body":"of the side. I was like, that is not first of all, it's not a Stromboli. It's"},{"startTime":2099.525,"endTime":2102.967,"body":"a sub sandwich that was sausage. Like that's not Stromboli. Stromboli"},{"startTime":2102.987,"endTime":2106.968,"body":"is like braided or put together. That's Indiana Stromboli. But"},{"startTime":2107.008,"endTime":2110.23,"body":"that was I don't listen to the pizza. Same with the pizza. So I don't listen to people"},{"startTime":2110.27,"endTime":2113.593,"body":"when they're like ego here. I know. No, but I will. Yeah, but she lives"},{"startTime":2113.633,"endTime":2116.895,"body":"in this town and it's like, so you thought I was like, okay, we'll trust her."},{"startTime":2116.915,"endTime":2120.517,"body":"So just repeat what you just said. Yeah. She"},{"startTime":2120.557,"endTime":2124.4,"body":"lives in this town. So when you're from a small town, your"},{"startTime":2124.44,"endTime":2128.022,"body":"best pizza is not the best. You"},{"startTime":2128.042,"endTime":2131.685,"body":"know what I will say there are some really good small-town restaurants, and"},{"startTime":2131.725,"endTime":2135.007,"body":"you hit those jackpots And you're like there's a pizza place. I think called"},{"startTime":2135.047,"endTime":2138.629,"body":"the pizza place. I believe in New Lexington where Matt's from okay?"},{"startTime":2139.49,"endTime":2142.752,"body":"This is like pizza amazing. Oh my fucking god. Nobody will even know"},{"startTime":2142.772,"endTime":2146.054,"body":"about it. It's not on the map That's what's now fucked up think about how many good pizzas are"},{"startTime":2146.094,"endTime":2149.176,"body":"out there that nobody knows about cuz they're in these small I love when"},{"startTime":2149.196,"endTime":2152.398,"body":"you find a good bar pizza you're at a bar somewhere in some small town how to make pizza"},{"startTime":2152.438,"endTime":2155.68,"body":"and then you get like that little tiny or a big Big,"},{"startTime":2155.84,"endTime":2160.442,"body":"thick. No, like the big slices that are like doughy, but"},{"startTime":2161.283,"endTime":2164.604,"body":"like. Oh, so. And then another"},{"startTime":2164.644,"endTime":2168.626,"body":"thing I noticed was casinos"},{"startTime":2168.666,"endTime":2173.209,"body":"are great. But in Las Vegas, right?"},{"startTime":2173.229,"endTime":2176.551,"body":"So I've been to the casino here in Columbus twice. It's not bad."},{"startTime":2176.571,"endTime":2180.093,"body":"It's not bad, but it's not Vegas. Now this casino"},{"startTime":2180.133,"endTime":2183.375,"body":"in French Lick is not even Columbus. Like it"},{"startTime":2183.435,"endTime":2186.877,"body":"was. It's probably Punta Cana. There were games, but that people there."},{"startTime":2188.152,"endTime":2191.475,"body":"will really make you appreciate your life. They will"},{"startTime":2191.536,"endTime":2195.019,"body":"make you appreciate your looks, your weight, your"},{"startTime":2195.039,"endTime":2198.463,"body":"personality, your smell, your lack"},{"startTime":2198.503,"endTime":2201.686,"body":"of smoking, your taste, your money, your"},{"startTime":2201.806,"endTime":2204.993,"body":"access to funds. money to be at this"},{"startTime":2205.033,"endTime":2209.035,"body":"place? You would think. So these people snuck in. These people,"},{"startTime":2209.755,"endTime":2213.076,"body":"you could just come to the casino to go there. So people from around the area go"},{"startTime":2213.116,"endTime":2216.877,"body":"there. Yeah, this is how they do it. And you will"},{"startTime":2216.917,"endTime":2220.038,"body":"see these people that look like they took their welfare check and put it"},{"startTime":2220.098,"endTime":2223.399,"body":"right into the slot machine. Because I'm like, how does this"},{"startTime":2223.459,"endTime":2226.639,"body":"person have $500 credits? I don't ever"},{"startTime":2226.679,"endTime":2229.761,"body":"get the either and then I walk by later and they're at $230 and"},{"startTime":2229.801,"endTime":2233.364,"body":"like 45 minutes and I'm like Oh, so that 500 went down literally slots"},{"startTime":2233.424,"endTime":2236.626,"body":"is just why are you putting in $500 into a slot"},{"startTime":2236.646,"endTime":2240.168,"body":"machine? The max prize is 13,000 like you're"},{"startTime":2240.188,"endTime":2243.77,"body":"wasting 500 to get 13,000. I mean, yeah, it's a big prize, but you're"},{"startTime":2243.79,"endTime":2246.872,"body":"are you gonna get it? It's just the lore of it's not the same. It's"},{"startTime":2246.892,"endTime":2250.394,"body":"not as like special like after I spent like I think I spent $60 I"},{"startTime":2250.734,"endTime":2254.016,"body":"was like I'm done like I don't want to spend anymore like you can get really"},{"startTime":2254.056,"endTime":2257.252,"body":"addicted and You can I know but"},{"startTime":2257.272,"endTime":2260.494,"body":"I'm not addicted but well, well, I got the edge. You had"},{"startTime":2260.514,"endTime":2264.296,"body":"the edge and you scratched and I kept Strange Wow"},{"startTime":2265.076,"endTime":2268.238,"body":"That pussy's itchy Now I"},{"startTime":2268.298,"endTime":2271.56,"body":"do like your mustache still keep it going people"},{"startTime":2271.6,"endTime":2274.902,"body":"loved it there. Yeah, it's like kind of a hot look I'm sorry, but"},{"startTime":2274.982,"endTime":2278.304,"body":"sniffy's guys like it. I'm sorry, but it's a good look because you"},{"startTime":2278.324,"endTime":2281.728,"body":"can grow it. So you need to do it Like"},{"startTime":2281.768,"endTime":2285.129,"body":"especially for Park City like it needs to be full bush. Okay,"},{"startTime":2285.189,"endTime":2288.65,"body":"and everything else shaved Yikes, okay. I"},{"startTime":2288.67,"endTime":2291.931,"body":"think it'd be hot. I'm gonna be a mountain man. That's what I'm"},{"startTime":2291.951,"endTime":2298.272,"body":"saying lumberjack I talked to slutty too, by the way Three weeks"},{"startTime":2298.332,"endTime":2301.613,"body":"into that I was like and you need to do gays gays gays again because I'm tired"},{"startTime":2301.633,"endTime":2305.254,"body":"of seeing it Yeah, we're not getting any gays gays gays. Yeah, it's"},{"startTime":2305.274,"endTime":2308.554,"body":"gonna be so gay in Park City. So I can't wait Park City's"},{"startTime":2308.594,"endTime":2312.116,"body":"coming up. That's what we're really excited about I'm kind of freaked out"},{"startTime":2312.436,"endTime":2315.519,"body":"same. I don't I don't even want to think about packing, but I know I have to oh"},{"startTime":2315.8,"endTime":2318.983,"body":"We're already freaking out. It's like I know It's actually three weeks"},{"startTime":2319.003,"endTime":2322.266,"body":"from Saturday. Oh Oh, we're flying in Saturday. I'm not even getting"},{"startTime":2322.306,"endTime":2325.569,"body":"into late Saturday One dog here one"},{"startTime":2325.589,"endTime":2334.827,"body":"dog there He's"},{"startTime":2334.927,"endTime":2338.288,"body":"tired. Let me see if I have anything else written down. I know I have a sundry"},{"startTime":2338.308,"endTime":2342.329,"body":"to conclude like overall the weekend was fun Family had"},{"startTime":2342.349,"endTime":2345.53,"body":"a blast like my parents, of course, they showed up with like three or four bottles of"},{"startTime":2345.57,"endTime":2348.95,"body":"champagne saying the word suck whiskey We didn't say suck. They brought"},{"startTime":2348.97,"endTime":2353.091,"body":"other vodka. So my parents have all the drinks I"},{"startTime":2353.131,"endTime":2356.312,"body":"love that they drink so much when they're like in the room. They suck. Oh Yeah."},{"startTime":2356.372,"endTime":2359.735,"body":"Oh, yeah. Well, we're Catholic. Like you always can drink. That's true. Drinking's"},{"startTime":2359.755,"endTime":2362.918,"body":"what Catholics do best. That's why I like funerals so much. Like, let's get drunk. I've"},{"startTime":2362.938,"endTime":2366.32,"body":"always loved the after party, babe. One of the first times"},{"startTime":2366.34,"endTime":2369.965,"body":"I got drunk as an adult technically was at a viewing. I"},{"startTime":2369.985,"endTime":2374.807,"body":"don't think I've ever been hung over a funeral."},{"startTime":2375.067,"endTime":2378.349,"body":"Never. I'm always like, Oh, this is fucking terrible. The wake or"},{"startTime":2378.369,"endTime":2381.55,"body":"the viewing the day before is like the start emotionally. And then my"},{"startTime":2381.57,"endTime":2385.351,"body":"family's like, do you want to go to dinner? Let's get margaritas. It's so"},{"startTime":2385.452,"endTime":2388.593,"body":"weird. I'm like, I just saw a dead body. I have drinks after seeing a dead"},{"startTime":2388.633,"endTime":2391.955,"body":"body. Yeah. Yeah, like I just thought that body. I'm not really looking for mozzarella sticks right now."},{"startTime":2391.975,"endTime":2396.078,"body":"Like, sorry. I had some Arby's mozzarella sticks yesterday. I"},{"startTime":2396.098,"endTime":2399.301,"body":"was going to say, do you guys want"},{"startTime":2399.321,"endTime":2405.295,"body":"anything? I was like, well, I just had brunch, but I had brunch. I"},{"startTime":2405.335,"endTime":2408.737,"body":"had a poached egg. Only in southern Indiana can you go from this classy little,"},{"startTime":2408.817,"endTime":2412.5,"body":"I had a poached egg to Arby's. It was so fancy."},{"startTime":2412.52,"endTime":2415.702,"body":"And then I was like, I'll have a mozzarella stick. And it was probably the best thing we had"},{"startTime":2415.742,"endTime":2418.964,"body":"all weekend. It was one of the best. Sometimes cheap food is"},{"startTime":2419.004,"endTime":2423.066,"body":"good. The German, no, we went to a German restaurant. It was really solid. Now,"},{"startTime":2423.126,"endTime":2426.848,"body":"how did you eat that? Because you don't like me and a lot of I had space."},{"startTime":2426.888,"endTime":2430.29,"body":"So I had Hunter's gravy on it, which was mushroom gravy."},{"startTime":2430.43,"endTime":2433.792,"body":"I had shit, cat cases, Spitzel, which"},{"startTime":2433.852,"endTime":2436.954,"body":"is the cheese space. So talk about Germans two weeks in a row. Well, we"},{"startTime":2436.994,"endTime":2440.275,"body":"like we like the Germans. And there's a reason they're"},{"startTime":2440.295,"endTime":2443.757,"body":"paying. It's the pink. It's the pink. I'm sorry. Sorry. I"},{"startTime":2443.837,"endTime":2446.919,"body":"know. Oh, my God. I did. We talked about it. I just listened to"},{"startTime":2446.939,"endTime":2450.061,"body":"that episode of my car on the way here. And I got it was at that part. And I"},{"startTime":2450.121,"endTime":2454.363,"body":"was like, I was like, I'll wear the star of David. I was"},{"startTime":2454.383,"endTime":2457.504,"body":"like, I'll wear the pink triangle. Like lock me the fuck up. I want them to know they"},{"startTime":2457.524,"endTime":2460.986,"body":"can use me. And I'll see if I'm in that camp. I'll be like, daddy,"},{"startTime":2461.026,"endTime":2464.908,"body":"do whatever you need. You'd be like, do you mean shine your boots again? Yeah. My"},{"startTime":2464.948,"endTime":2468.594,"body":"tongue. You're a literal bootlicker Now"},{"startTime":2468.694,"endTime":2471.815,"body":"that is a kink so we don't want to kink shame. We're in trouble. Do"},{"startTime":2471.835,"endTime":2475.616,"body":"you have any sundries? I do a sundry I do have Okay,"},{"startTime":2475.716,"endTime":2478.937,"body":"one other. Oh, yeah. Yeah, go honey. I need to talk"},{"startTime":2478.957,"endTime":2482.758,"body":"about I just wrote this down and this is just a quick quote from"},{"startTime":2482.838,"endTime":2486.139,"body":"talking to people at work and You either end up with the bad boy type"},{"startTime":2486.279,"endTime":2489.501,"body":"and get fucked great, but get treated like shit, or you're"},{"startTime":2489.541,"endTime":2492.743,"body":"with a nice guy who can't fuck you, but you'll have someone compliment you and treat"},{"startTime":2492.783,"endTime":2496.185,"body":"you right. This is literally every relationship. I just want to say that."},{"startTime":2496.425,"endTime":2499.506,"body":"Whoa, wait, read it again slower. Okay. You either end up"},{"startTime":2499.546,"endTime":2502.728,"body":"with a bad boy type and get fucked great. Like"},{"startTime":2502.768,"endTime":2506.21,"body":"great. Like you get fucked really great. Everything's hot, but"},{"startTime":2506.23,"endTime":2509.392,"body":"you get treated like shit. Or you can end up with"},{"startTime":2509.432,"endTime":2512.934,"body":"the nice guy who can't fuck you, but you'll have someone compliment"},{"startTime":2512.954,"endTime":2516.356,"body":"you and treat you right. What do you want? And that's the fucked up conundrum. And"},{"startTime":2516.376,"endTime":2519.798,"body":"this is why nobody can stay married. Uh, that's just a random thought. There"},{"startTime":2519.818,"endTime":2522.96,"body":"you go. The next thing I need to discuss really honestly, and this"},{"startTime":2523.02,"endTime":2526.302,"body":"could be a sundry, maybe, maybe this will be"},{"startTime":2526.322,"endTime":2530.173,"body":"my sundry, but I also just need one more comment. Okay. They"},{"startTime":2530.213,"endTime":2533.555,"body":"are supposedly, now this is gonna be a little psychotic, they"},{"startTime":2533.595,"endTime":2536.797,"body":"are supposedly getting rid of the lead apron that they put over"},{"startTime":2536.877,"endTime":2540.679,"body":"you at the dentist when they do the- X-rays. Yes,"},{"startTime":2541.499,"endTime":2544.761,"body":"and I have a problem with it. I love that motherfucking- The"},{"startTime":2544.801,"endTime":2547.962,"body":"weight, the weight. What is that? It's so like, oh, it's heavy. When"},{"startTime":2547.982,"endTime":2551.324,"body":"they put it on, I'm like, oh good night. You need a weighted blanket."},{"startTime":2551.344,"endTime":2554.986,"body":"I need a weighted blanket, that's what I was told. I have one on my couch. Does"},{"startTime":2555.046,"endTime":2558.268,"body":"it really do the trick? It makes me feel so safe. When you put"},{"startTime":2558.328,"endTime":2561.857,"body":"it on, And this way to blink I have is not even"},{"startTime":2561.877,"endTime":2565.16,"body":"like for heating like it can eat. It"},{"startTime":2565.18,"endTime":2568.462,"body":"basically doesn't make you hot because some way to blankets make you and wait it wrapped"},{"startTime":2568.502,"endTime":2572.025,"body":"and you're like, this is just a weighted one. And it's like, I"},{"startTime":2572.065,"endTime":2577.07,"body":"love it. If there's a rainstorm and you get under your blanket. Especially"},{"startTime":2577.09,"endTime":2580.852,"body":"you after a gummy. Oh, honey. I'm it's over. I'm already waited. You're"},{"startTime":2580.952,"endTime":2584.174,"body":"it's over. I'm already like stuck on the couch Well, you're less weighted than you I"},{"startTime":2584.234,"endTime":2587.595,"body":"am less bloated Waited we did so even"},{"startTime":2587.636,"endTime":2591.198,"body":"to the point where I realized that I like that feeling so much when I"},{"startTime":2591.218,"endTime":2594.599,"body":"was five I got stitches in my chin and"},{"startTime":2594.619,"endTime":2597.861,"body":"when I went to the hospital, they put me in a papoose they"},{"startTime":2597.901,"endTime":2600.943,"body":"called it Oh Do you know what that is? No, but it keeps you warm. It's like a"},{"startTime":2600.963,"endTime":2604.405,"body":"booster seat. Yeah. It's like a little, they, they like strap you in. Yeah. So"},{"startTime":2604.465,"endTime":2607.827,"body":"I can't move. Yeah. So I'm just laying there with this like big thing. Oh, you probably fucking"},{"startTime":2607.847,"endTime":2611.048,"body":"loved it. And they put the stitches in. So a couple of weeks"},{"startTime":2611.088,"endTime":2614.911,"body":"later, it's time to get my stitches out. We go to the regular doctor that's right next to the hospital. And"},{"startTime":2615.011,"endTime":2618.793,"body":"I refused to get my stitches out because I wanted the fucking pupus. So"},{"startTime":2618.893,"endTime":2622.154,"body":"my mother had to take me over to the hospital. I don't know how she did it."},{"startTime":2622.214,"endTime":2625.697,"body":"She's like this motherfucker. The doctor, I think the doctor was like, He was"},{"startTime":2625.737,"endTime":2628.979,"body":"actually kind of cool. He was like he was like just hurry up like let's just take"},{"startTime":2629.019,"endTime":2632.141,"body":"him over put him in the poo-poo I think I went to a regular room. He just like"},{"startTime":2632.482,"endTime":2635.884,"body":"might have a sensory processing disorder. So that's what I'm wondering Maybe I am also"},{"startTime":2635.904,"endTime":2639.387,"body":"a little we are just sorry, but we"},{"startTime":2639.467,"endTime":2642.569,"body":"all have features like that. I I mean, I like, why do I"},{"startTime":2642.589,"endTime":2646.252,"body":"like to watch cooking videos where I, it's in Japanese, it's"},{"startTime":2646.292,"endTime":2649.475,"body":"in Japan and it's like a little town and they're making ramen and chopping vegetables and"},{"startTime":2649.495,"endTime":2652.777,"body":"boiling things. And then I'm like, this is ASMR. And I've watched"},{"startTime":2652.857,"endTime":2656.06,"body":"so many that my YouTube is just recommending them. Like it's"},{"startTime":2656.2,"endTime":2659.542,"body":"obviously weird. I know because it's like, that's"},{"startTime":2659.583,"endTime":2663.065,"body":"my whole feed now. This is my life. I'll put it on the TV. And Matt's like, so"},{"startTime":2663.305,"endTime":2666.508,"body":"are you going back? He's like, are you going back to Japan? I'm like, or"},{"startTime":2666.528,"endTime":2669.89,"body":"are you getting like cruise ship reviews again? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm watching"},{"startTime":2669.91,"endTime":2673.391,"body":"cruise ship reviews. There's really weird shit that train reviews. Yep. We're"},{"startTime":2673.411,"endTime":2676.633,"body":"like people just right I know these this one guy rides trains and does reviews. Oh,"},{"startTime":2676.653,"endTime":2680.254,"body":"Matt should love that Well, he does most time but he likes more narration"},{"startTime":2680.314,"endTime":2683.955,"body":"and history Oh, but mine is just like a video and like sometimes subtitles. Like"},{"startTime":2684.095,"endTime":2687.656,"body":"I love like this is comfortable. I do love the the washing"},{"startTime":2687.736,"endTime":2691.338,"body":"the When they're watching like rug, yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":2692.038,"endTime":2695.256,"body":"Oh I'm like, oh yeah, my"},{"startTime":2695.276,"endTime":2698.538,"body":"God. So anyway, don't get rid of the fucking, I want"},{"startTime":2698.558,"endTime":2701.8,"body":"the goddamn lead. Yeah. Tell your dentist, keep the"},{"startTime":2701.84,"endTime":2705.142,"body":"lead. But apparently they've gotten so good at the radiation that it's just right in your mouth."},{"startTime":2705.303,"endTime":2708.645,"body":"It's directed better. So anyway, you can do your sundry first"},{"startTime":2708.665,"endTime":2712.92,"body":"since I've talked for 45 minutes straight and then I'll do my sundry. Wow. My"},{"startTime":2712.981,"endTime":2716.343,"body":"sundry is, so I went"},{"startTime":2716.363,"endTime":2720.386,"body":"to pick up prescriptions today. This happens all the time to me. And"},{"startTime":2720.406,"endTime":2723.628,"body":"I'm using the drive-through lane, and you know, there's usually at least two"},{"startTime":2723.648,"endTime":2726.851,"body":"or three cars, especially if you go around after work time, which is fine, that's"},{"startTime":2726.871,"endTime":2730.293,"body":"normal. Everyone's getting off work and has to run errands. So"},{"startTime":2730.353,"endTime":2733.595,"body":"I go there, I'm waiting, and I finally get to second from"},{"startTime":2733.616,"endTime":2737.919,"body":"the front. So there's one car in front of me talking to the people in there. 15 minutes"},{"startTime":2737.959,"endTime":2741.539,"body":"later, I'm still second from the front. because she got confused."},{"startTime":2741.559,"endTime":2744.882,"body":"She didn't know one prescription had expired. How long has it been expired? Oh,"},{"startTime":2744.902,"endTime":2748.305,"body":"you can't see how long it's been expired? Well, did you communicate that to my doctor?"},{"startTime":2748.345,"endTime":2751.568,"body":"Well, I guess I have to call the doctor. Well, what if they're closed by now? How"},{"startTime":2751.588,"endTime":2754.71,"body":"much does this one cost? Yeah. Well, did you run it"},{"startTime":2754.73,"endTime":2758.417,"body":"through with that card, that special discount card? Well, If"},{"startTime":2758.537,"endTime":2762.079,"body":"you're not ready to get up there and pick up your fucking prescriptions"},{"startTime":2762.159,"endTime":2765.361,"body":"and pay and then leave immediately, then don't go through"},{"startTime":2765.381,"endTime":2768.542,"body":"the drive-thru. Go inside. Go inside so you can talk to"},{"startTime":2768.562,"endTime":2771.824,"body":"the human face-to-face and figure it out. But honestly, even that, you need to sign up"},{"startTime":2771.844,"endTime":2774.926,"body":"for a consultation and they don't need to help and let them go to the regular line. Right, don't go to"},{"startTime":2774.946,"endTime":2778.207,"body":"the regular line. I can't believe this. This should not be $500. The"},{"startTime":2778.508,"endTime":2781.709,"body":"normal response is, I got a text message saying your prescriptions are ready for"},{"startTime":2781.749,"endTime":2785.231,"body":"pickup. I went there, I said I'm ready to pick up. Birthday, last"},{"startTime":2785.291,"endTime":2789.075,"body":"name, address. card in the thing, handed"},{"startTime":2789.095,"endTime":2792.499,"body":"back with everything. That's it. It literally took me less than two"},{"startTime":2792.519,"endTime":2795.924,"body":"minutes. These people are arguing about prices in the pickup"},{"startTime":2795.964,"endTime":2799.208,"body":"line. It's like, first of all, what are you doing holding up the line? My meds, what's it"},{"startTime":2799.228,"endTime":2802.973,"body":"called? Cover my meds or whatever. GoodRx. Good"},{"startTime":2803.033,"endTime":2806.276,"body":"rx. I love hi. It's better than your insurance, right? Um, I"},{"startTime":2806.316,"endTime":2809.779,"body":"tell people that all the time. I'm like, they're like, this was so expensive. I'm"},{"startTime":2809.799,"endTime":2813.141,"body":"like, try good rx. HSA makes you not,"},{"startTime":2813.301,"endTime":2816.764,"body":"you don't even need your work. You get a better deal with, with good rx"},{"startTime":2816.824,"endTime":2820.207,"body":"and pain with your HSA. I know. Um, I"},{"startTime":2820.267,"endTime":2823.309,"body":"100% agree with that. They need to have their own consultation area. They need to have like a,"},{"startTime":2823.329,"endTime":2828.083,"body":"there should be a separate line for insane people. Yeah, literally. So"},{"startTime":2828.143,"endTime":2831.785,"body":"my sundry is about the guys that were in Porta"},{"startTime":2831.825,"endTime":2835.586,"body":"Vallarta, the bears, uh, beef"},{"startTime":2835.626,"endTime":2838.728,"body":"dip. Now, did you hear what happened? No,"},{"startTime":2838.748,"endTime":2841.949,"body":"but I know people who went, so I could ask them. Okay. Well, I need you to ask"},{"startTime":2841.989,"endTime":2845.23,"body":"your friends. And if you went to there, please respond to us. Um,"},{"startTime":2845.771,"endTime":2849.032,"body":"apparently somebody shit in the pool, like"},{"startTime":2849.092,"endTime":2852.606,"body":"a shit was floating around. Oh my"},{"startTime":2852.666,"endTime":2855.909,"body":"god, what pool Montemar? I don't fucking know what pool probably"},{"startTime":2855.929,"endTime":2859.291,"body":"the final notice Yeah, but I know it was talked about on the other"},{"startTime":2859.311,"endTime":2863.515,"body":"bear channels for like P town bears. We're like Guys,"},{"startTime":2863.775,"endTime":2866.918,"body":"we don't have this kind of incidents at Pete's. I'm like, yeah, cuz you"},{"startTime":2866.938,"endTime":2871.201,"body":"ruined the pool for everyone I don't even know if they can ask down Like"},{"startTime":2871.221,"endTime":2874.524,"body":"I don't know if they just like poured chemicals in I don't know I I don't"},{"startTime":2874.544,"endTime":2878.924,"body":"know what you do and that's do you supposed to drain at all? Let"},{"startTime":2878.965,"endTime":2887.132,"body":"them do what they wanna do, but I'm done with the pool. I'm"},{"startTime":2887.192,"endTime":2890.773,"body":"so glad I'm a twink you're having a beef dip literally like you're"},{"startTime":2890.813,"endTime":2894.154,"body":"literally and also you're dipping in someone else's What did you do like sneeze and"},{"startTime":2894.254,"endTime":2897.474,"body":"fart and well? That's what I'm concerned about like what did you have"},{"startTime":2897.514,"endTime":2900.735,"body":"a fuck date coming up? So you didn't want to have time to do an enema. Yeah, did you"},{"startTime":2900.755,"endTime":2903.936,"body":"do one? I don't have time to get a shower all the shit in the pool and rub my"},{"startTime":2903.976,"endTime":2907.177,"body":"hole clean it up. Oh, there was some other jet. There's like oh,"},{"startTime":2907.217,"endTime":2911.413,"body":"yeah Oh, it's better Listen, gentlemen. Why?"},{"startTime":2911.433,"endTime":2914.835,"body":"Don't poop in the pool. Especially like a bear beef"},{"startTime":2914.895,"endTime":2918.077,"body":"dip is not. A bear poop? Like a bear poop is always big"},{"startTime":2918.117,"endTime":2921.4,"body":"and dirty. Like there's no dainty bear poop. It's chunky. It's"},{"startTime":2921.98,"endTime":2925.082,"body":"floatable. Because these are big guys, they eat a lot. Like what's coming out is a"},{"startTime":2925.122,"endTime":2928.244,"body":"lot. And this is on Friday, it's like on Saturday actually. So this"},{"startTime":2928.264,"endTime":2931.787,"body":"is a full week of just like. They're hungover from Friday night, so they have the"},{"startTime":2931.827,"endTime":2935.109,"body":"hangover shits. It probably wasn't as solid as we should have been. Plus they had a big brunch,"},{"startTime":2935.129,"endTime":2938.531,"body":"plus they've had a lot of alcohol, a little bit of ketamine, They're shitting"},{"startTime":2938.591,"endTime":2941.832,"body":"a lot and a lot of deck, which surprises me because shitting a lot. It"},{"startTime":2941.932,"endTime":2945.193,"body":"must be some bottom that just lost his bowel control. It has to be like,"},{"startTime":2945.213,"endTime":2948.514,"body":"I just got fisted or just got fisted. Maybe it was, they're like,"},{"startTime":2948.554,"endTime":2952.035,"body":"sorry, I didn't know my rectum was floating around the water. Just dropping shit everywhere."},{"startTime":2952.075,"endTime":2955.196,"body":"Cause I just can't feel anything. Don't mind my prolapse. I had a"},{"startTime":2955.256,"endTime":2958.717,"body":"long night. So my, my, my Sunday is more of a PSA. Don't"},{"startTime":2958.917,"endTime":2962.078,"body":"fucking poop in the pool. Don't poop in the pool, especially if you're an adult, but also"},{"startTime":2962.098,"endTime":2965.619,"body":"don't do it if you're a kid, but in the pool, Anyway, all"},{"startTime":2965.639,"endTime":2969.72,"body":"right, well, I've got to go get to my daughter. So this has been another episode of Not Well. Make"},{"startTime":2969.76,"endTime":2973.601,"body":"sure you call us 614-721-5336. If you want beef, quake, beef dip. It"},{"startTime":2973.621,"endTime":2977.262,"body":"sounded like a quake. It was beef dip."},{"startTime":2977.642,"endTime":2981.043,"body":"If you went to beef dip, give us a call. Give us a call. Tell"},{"startTime":2981.063,"endTime":2984.424,"body":"us about the poop. Tell us about the poop. We want to know about the poop."},{"startTime":2984.444,"endTime":2988.285,"body":"614-721-5336. She's not doing so well at gmail.com. Leave us a review, comment, or"},{"startTime":2988.365,"endTime":2991.865,"body":"tell your friends. Share your friends. Share your friends. Share your friends' dick"},{"startTime":2991.885,"endTime":2995.047,"body":"pics with us. Send it to your friend. You're one"},{"startTime":2995.067,"endTime":2999.991,"body":"for one friend. These people don't have a lot of friends As"},{"startTime":3000.031,"endTime":3003.815,"body":"I snort in the microphone like also I'm down 27 pounds everyone"},{"startTime":3003.855,"endTime":3007.558,"body":"have a great time I'm gonna go not eat now. Goodbye."},{"startTime":3007.578,"endTime":3011.722,"body":"Goodbye Dinner time"}]}