I just want to lay there and have someone else be like, 'I'm having fun.'"

Are we officially getting too old for this? In this wonderfully chaotic episode of Not Well, Bobby and Jim dive headfirst into the sheer exhaustion of aging out of the nightlife scene. Grab a Coke Zero and buckle up as the guys roast the absolute state of modern Pride month—lamenting how grassroots community celebrations have been tragically replaced by corporate banks tossing cheap beads from parade floats.

From dissecting Gen Z's "grungy" aesthetic to surviving the physical toll of midnight clubbing, the boys are unapologetically embracing their limits and leaning into a life of avoiding discomfort at all costs. It’s a messy, fast-paced, and wildly unhinged conversation that goes off the rails in the best way possible.

What we're getting into this week:

• Submarines in the Sky: Why flying is terrifying and why you have a nerve to fall asleep on a plane.
• Corporate Pride: We don't need to march with a banner for a bank. We're over it.
• The AI Trump Love Song: A terrifyingly catchy AI-generated track that we can't unhear.
• The Gen Z Grudge: Dissecting the grungy, mullet-and-jorts aesthetic of the youth.
• MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: A massive update on the future of the show—by episode 400, Not Well is packing up and broadcasting from an entirely different continent!

Buckle in, it’s a wild ride. Let’s get loose!

Transcript

I'm like
I mean it's certainly a vibe there it's just
It's
I think it's young and druggy.
You gotta sleep on a plane, don't care about nothing.
I'm convinced you don't care about nothing in your life.
You don't care about nothing in your life.
You gotta sleep on a plane?
On a plane! The plane just cranked up.
They just cranked the plane up and you going to bed?
This is a submarine in the sky!
It's literally a submarine with wings.
We fly through these cities and these clouds and you got a nerve...
Why you... why you sleep for?
We are in the air!
We are in the air!
We are in the air!
And you're asleep!
I don't understand how you do that.
You going to bed?
You going to bed?
We're in the air!
Flying through the city, literally flying through the states and you got a nerve to go to bed.
You don't care about nothing in your life.
You don't care about...
It's so true.
Oh, this is...
Oh my god, I wanted to show...
So happy Pride everybody, hello.
Okay, by the way, we're here, we're queer.
Happy Pride, happy birthday.
Get used to it.
Happy birthday to someone.
Is it someone?
America's 250.
That's coming up too.
You're going to be in fucking Canada.
And I'm leaving.
You're going to be in another country.
I'll be at work.
You don't want a woman to tell you what a woman is?
I would love for you to tell me what a woman is.
You're a woman, what are you?
I am a woman.
Which is...
This is what a woman is.
Which is?
It could be a different thing for every woman that sees themselves as a woman.
But what is that?
You can't answer with a definition. What is a woman?
A woman is someone who expresses femininity.
I express femininity, I'm a man. What is a woman?
If you identify as that expression, that's who you are.
Just wait.
I don't care about your feelings and I don't care what you identify as.
What is a woman?
I already explained that.
And I'm propagandized right now.
Tits, makeup, right.
And let me tell you something, these Democrats are radical.
I cannot wait for you to see all the content that we have.
We interviewed furries, we interviewed transgenders, mothers, crazy glitter beards.
Glitter beards, we're worried about that with this one.
Right! Delusional.
These people are so manipulated by the media and they can never give us an answer.
They can never give us an answer!
Daniel speak up.
I mean this guy is un-fucking-believable.
Like looking at the... okay, like if you...
Yeah, if you're not watching...
I can't even say the voice is masculine, like nothing about that person is masculine.
No, like literally it looks like me with makeup.
Nothing about them gives man.
It'd be like if we walked out... full makeup...
Big fupa.
Yeah, that's... don't ever put yourself in that category.
Even when you were at your biggest, you never looked like that.
No.
I will say this.
As we've talked about, there's different types of fat.
Yeah.
That is like pure apple upper top, just like puffy...
You look like a female, you're presenting as a female, but you're going to argue about what a woman is...
I'm a man!
But you're like, I'm a man.
And then you're like, these glitter beards...
Yeah, glitter beards.
I'm like, honey, you have makeup on, full face...
While talking to a woman, yelling at her saying she's not a woman.
And you're in full face, you have nails, and you're talking like a little bitch.
Now, no offense...
Let's get real.
It's the little bitch part that's the real part.
Yeah.
Happy Pride to you.
Happy Pride to you, goddamn bitch.
Did I say hello? Did we say hello?
Not really.
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Not Well, I'm Bobby.
I'm Jim.
So...
I cut my nails.
They're all fucked up.
I like them.
They're just boyish.
I'm a masculine man.
What's up, man?
All these glitter beards.
All these fucking glitter beards...
How many glitter beards are there?
First of all, although I am going to make a statement...
Oh fuck.
Wow, girl, fuck.
It's getting a little...
It's getting a lot with the glitter.
The like draw-on makeup, the like Lisa Frank style.
Like I don't know, I was at District West last night for Pride...
Everyone has the eye thing.
And as we know, we do know a certain someone who really tried to integrate that and said...
We need to bring this into the community!
Here's what I...
If you remember.
I don't.
Okay, well when I went to a concert...
With someone...
Oh, and it did... I will say like I...
Listen.
Do you see what I'm saying?
You get the vibe. Like it's like a pick me, like a I want to be in the in-crowd type.
We're all going to do the jewelry and I'm going to Electric Forest next week so I can just picture it, like everyone's going to have it.
Oh god.
And so I'm going to have to be like...
You should go in like a suit and tie. Like you should throw it all off.
I'm not bringing any outfits. Like this is the most I have.
I think you're going to have so much fun.
Oh it's going to be great.
But I'm just saying I'm not...
Yeah, but like I can't wear tassels and deer hide and like all these white guys with dreads and just like I'm picturing like a lot of things.
I feel like you're going to have a lot of straight guys.
But I think it's going to be hot, young, straight... I hope they're not straight.
Well bisexuals.
Bisexuals!
The bisexuals.
We don't go out, we haven't...
We don't really go out anymore.
I was like...
Okay, well you look like you're in that age range and you're wearing like this like...
Like sniffies chain?
Yeah, he's wearing short shorts, his dick was bulging, like the whole time I was like...
Happy Pride.
So you're telling me that you're not in the community?
Although maybe they saw me and they were like, we got to get out of this community.
Well honestly, I think that's kind of how I am with this whole Pride situation.
Like no offense to all the... the beautiful people in this community.
But I just feel it's getting a little goddamn fucking crazy.
And it's getting the point now where, and no offense...
So the one we just saw in the video?
Yeah.
That's basically the whole community now.
I know.
It's either that or you're on drugs or steroids.
So that's the community.
I saw so many jaws twitching last night at A.W.O.L.
Oh god, and the eyes.
I'm like, oh no.
I'm like, it's Friday at 10 PM.
How are you on this much cocaine already?
It's Pride!
I'm like, what...
Don't we have Saturday to get through? Like what are we...
I ran into...
Honey, I'd rather go through Friday than Saturday.
Remember who we ran into on the ramp?
I've been up 48 hours.
I was like...
Who?
Oh, I didn't know that.
It's like 48 hours.
I said continuously?
I was like, okay.
And that's why we were having the jumping back and forth.
Oh god, yeah, I remember that part.
It was like...
Right, that's why.
You're like... squirrel... squirrel...
And I'm like...
Well, because he had just come from the bathroom.
Like it's like, you know, it's just...
There's...
I'm into downers, you know what I mean? I'm not into the uppers.
Like I can't do the uppers.
My heart...
Why would you want to be on uppers?
I don't know, I just really...
I think honestly I think it's the only thing keeping people going though.
Well yeah, that's what that's how they go the whole weekend.
The whole government is on cocaine, like...
Oh my god, are we all just on Coke?
Coffee and Coke, baby.
Pick your vice.
I can't do it.
For me it's Coke Zero.
I'm on Coke.
Oh my god, you're on Coke...
Zero.
Oh, I don't know why you said it like that.
So yeah, so it's Pride and just like, it's a lot of weird looking fucking people and no offense, I'm so tired of it.
Um...
Yeah.
But welcome to the community.
Love is love.
And there was actually a thing I saw yesterday, it's kind of crazy.
Comparing 2012 or 2018...
Or 2022 to 2026 Pride.
How many people had like...
Yeah.
Gay shit for... I mean every corporation.
You mean company? Yeah.
And now there's none.
It was like everyone.
Every single one was like, Pride!
Even Walmart. It's like Walmart, Target, Scion...
And it's like...
We all saw...
We all saw this coming.
We knew, we were talking about it back then.
Yeah, we were literally like, this is dumb.
Look at the giant parade!
We don't need a giant parade.
We don't need a fucking...
We don't need to march with a banner and the t-shirts with the corporation's name on it.
It's weird.
Like it's like, why do you even want to be in that group?
And I get it, like there's some smaller companies, you know, that are like, we support LGBTQ+ rights.
I get it.
And all that, it's like, okay, cool.
Go ahead and march.
I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum, that's my new philosophy for this month.
Oh, I like it.
No yucking the yum.
I'm trying to do that, but it's not really going well.
Well, you just gotta think everybody's dumb.
But like, I have to think like, how much I hate Pride and like how I skipped everything today as you did too.
But like, there are people who are still young who are like, wow, there's so many gays around.
Right.
And so I'm like, okay.
See, but that's not the way I see Pride anymore.
It's not the gays.
But when you're 24 and you're like, and you came out, you came from a small rural town in Ohio to Columbus and you're like, look at this.
But what I'm saying is when you go to Pride now...
Yeah.
I don't know, we haven't been, Bobby, we can't...
I went last year.
Oh.
Yeah, I think I went to the park in the afternoon and just laid on a towel with Sabrina.
Right.
No, you were in the parade, weren't you?
Oh, is that Duda?
Couple...
That was like two, three years ago. I think three years ago, yeah.
I know, it's been a long time.
And that's maybe another thing. It's like I've already marched in the parade, like I'm good.
For life.
I get a life pass.
I mean, and that's on god.
Period.
I did it, like I marched.
I don't want to march. I don't want to...
I threw a brick at Stonewall, I'm done.
Like I fucking...
You've never marched.
So is Target, so I guess you're kind of like that.
Yeah.
That's why you have to keep marching.
Yeah, my boss was like, oh so...
Like I was like, oh yeah, going to Pride.
And she goes, oh the parade, that's so fun.
And I'm like, is it?
And she goes, what do you mean?
And I'm like, well I haven't been since I was younger.
And I was like, yeah, I said...
It's now like Huntington Bank throwing out beads.
And she goes, are you kidding me?
I go, no, I said...
She goes, there used to be people in like leather and like...
And I'm like, they're still there sort of, but they're also with the Huntington Bank sign or there's some propaganda.
It's crazy.
I met someone, a lesbian last week who had been to the first Pride.
Yeah, here in Columbus.
No, not the first... I don't know where the first one ever was, but...
New York probably?
Probably.
But she went to it, and she said a lot of people were walking around with paper bags on their face.
And eye holes and mouth holes.
Cause they didn't want anybody to know who they were.
Know who they were.
Right.
Like how fucked up is that? So that's why it's like sad that like...
I'm like, that was probably crazy.
Yeah.
Like the bars back then were probably dingy and...
Well you sucked dick for sure.
I mean...
With that paper bag on, just imagine the crumple sound.
Yeah, crumpling, and you rip it on accident and they're like, no you can't see my face, I'm the executive of Huntington.
Which honestly, it'd be for the best if we didn't see faces. Um...
Well that's why pup masks were invented, so.
I know.
Press the button, that's a button.
Bitch. We're not trying to yuck anyone's yum, remember.
But I will say.
But I will say.
We went to Pup Land...
I was like, why is Pup Land?
Felt like Pup Land last night at A.W.O.L.
What was that?
It wasn't even Pup Night.
But no, because there were chains on the ceiling. Like it was a dedicated Pup Night.
There was a sign.
I think that was the night before.
There was like Kinky Collar the night before.
Last night was like...
Tonight is called...
Pride, it's something so gay. I'm like, I can't.
We're not yucking anyone's yum.
This is why I just get drunk and fucked up.
I'm building myself up, I'm building that up.
It's going to be a...
Look at these hot guys that don't want to talk to me.
Where?
Everywhere.
Online.
Yeah, like...
When I'm in person, oh...
In person, where, last night we didn't see any that you were...
There was that one who was selling shit.
Well he already wrote me on Scruff and was like, hey it was really nice meeting you last night.
Come to the event, come to the event, District West.
Freedom Valley.
I'm not going to the event.
Well that's where it is.
Kilts and something, Wigs.
There's kilts and wigs or something.
No, we need to go to...
We need to go to Cleveland.
I'm ready.
Okay, like we got to see this, you got to see this bathhouse.
Like it's, you'll never want to go anywhere else again.
You think Chicago was amazing?
I mean this is like quadruple the size.
I did like Chicago's Steamworks. Like remember the entrance?
Like it's kind of like clandestine.
They're all kind of...
Like it just like where there's like a random door on a wall of silver and you're like, okay, is this...
Everything's weird. Like...
In Pittsburgh you had to go up...
Wait till you see Toronto as well. You go upstairs in a back, it's like in an alley across from a bar.
They're always in the alleys.
And then you go upstairs and then you're like...
Is there actual pools here and shit or no?
Is it just rooms? Like I'm tired of the jerk off rooms.
No, it was a lot.
There's a maze, there's rooms you can rent, I'm pretty sure there was a pool.
It was late, I didn't go. Like...
Like I want to be able to go to the...
It was the night before the Beyonce concert and so it was like packed.
Oh god.
With gays.
All the gays there.
Oh I'm going to see Beyonce.
And that's hot sometimes to be honest.
I loved it, I loved when people watched me.
I love putting on a show.
Last night.
After I left.
We were at A.W.O.L last night.
Yeah, and then we went and danced and then I was like...
I gotta go.
How late were you out?
What time did you leave, 11:30?
Yeah.
I think we left at like 12:30 or 1.
Oh wow.
It wasn't terrible, but it was still getting like, where I was like...
Okay, this is it. Like...
You're...
Because we were supposed to, this was supposed to be a taste.
Last night was supposed to be a teaser.
And I knew it, this is why I don't go out.
And that's why I was like, I've got to go. Because it was like 11:30, I was like, I'm already falling asleep.
That's why either I don't do it or I do it, but I can't do like a little.
You were like, just have one drink. I'm like, you've already had like seven.
So like, you don't understand like...
I'm at this point where I'm, the night's ending.
You're already ramping up.
I'm up, honey.
I was high as fuck too. I was like...
Whoop!
Well, here we are at the goddamn bar.
So in my notes there, we went out last night...
After we recorded last week...
We went to Lupita's. Is that...
What happened?
Yeah.
What had happened?
And then after Lupita's...
Where did we meet at Lupita's?
We got dropped off at Lupita's, you're right.
And you got dropped off at Lupita's.
Right.
Lupita's.
So then what?
Where did we go after that?
Cavan's.
Yeah, we walked to Cavan's.
Right, half-assed on these fucking margaritas.
Oh.
If you guys want to go get a real margarita, go to Lupita's.
Seriously, like you'll die.
You get a pitcher, you get at least four as we've talked about this before.
But like...
It's unbelievable.
After one, after one margarita...
One margarita you're giving some head.
I'm done. I couldn't finish the second.
Oh, I was like...
I couldn't finish my second margarita.
I had to walk out, don't you remember? I was like, I gotta walk. I gotta walk.
You had to walk out and leave because you're like, I gotta walk.
And I was like, I had half left in my... I was like, I can't finish this.
I was so sick.
The server was like, you don't want to finish it? I was like...
Lady, I don't know what you put in this, like what poison is in this pitcher.
Yeah, like why is it so cheap?
Why is it $28 for four drinks and each drink will make you drunk?
And then, but if you want a solo it's like 15.
Makes sense.
Actually I'm ready for those. I want a margarita now.
One margarita.
See, then we have to get one margarita and we can't just get one.
You can't.
So you literally have to spend more for two than we would a pitcher, so we have to get a pitcher.
Correct.
Right.
So we were talking and I wrote some stuff down.
Something about your hole, so we're going to talk about that.
Yeah, we've gotta bring it up.
Figure out Jim's hole and he's a bottom.
That's what I wrote, so I'm not really sure...
Wow.
I tracked.
I think what it is is you're, your hole's been abused in the past and you're a little bit concerned about that past trauma coming back up.
Yes. Yes.
But I really do think you want to be a bottom.
The health and safety.
I want...
Well here's the thing.
I mean cause...
I want the laziness of being a bottom, but I don't want the work that goes into becoming that.
So like I don't want a prep, I don't really care, like I don't want it to hurt.
Like I just want to lay there and have someone else be like, I'm having fun. And I'm like, yeah, I love that you love this.
But like I don't want it to hurt and I don't really want to be uncomfortable ever.
That's my whole life.
My whole life is avoiding discomfort.
So maybe you should try to bottom then and just like fight the fear.
I think I would have to be very drugged, like on...
Why do you...
Oh no, propofol?
Yeah, and it would probably bleed anyways, so it's like, it's not worth it.
Oh.
Like I don't think the top's going to be like, wow, it looks like a crime scene, great.
You know, it's like...
Paint the room.
Right, they're like, are you positive? I'm like, well, you better hope I'm not.
Cause I just shit all over you, and I'm bleeding.
Blood.
Blood.
Whole blood.
And there's nothing like whole blood, like it keeps bleeding, it's like mouth blood, you know, like the whole GI tract or your nose.
Oh, like, yeah, if you cut your butt, like or you're like wiping hard or something and they're like...
It's bleeding, it bleeds and bleeds and bleeds.
It's such a bloody mess.
Or if you get fucked.
I've never bled from fucking.
You're lucky.
I make them lube the shit out of... like you have to.
I don't understand these people.
Oh no.
But I have also been fucked with just spit, so...
And I've topped with just pre-cum.
So...
Many, many times.
So I make a lot.
You are a pre-cummer though, so like that's kind of part of your MO.
Right.
You'd be really great for a vagina.
Natural lube, baby.
You're probably really fertile.
Yeah.
Like I wonder if that's the case. If you're like...
I probably am.
Like if you, if you pre-cum a lot...
Well, my sister...
Yeah, I think I think my family is fertile.
I met twins last night, by the way, speaking of family. Gay twins.
I saw them.
By the way, neither one. Like neither one.
No, they look like...
I was like...
They looked like they were on Disney, like Disney kids, like stars.
Stop it.
They look like Jedward, Jedward.
Like the sharp... sharp hair, like gel, lots of gel.
Yes!
Oh my god, the Disney thing was perfect.
I was like...
And then the makeup, like they almost had makeup. It was like, this is too pretty.
We're twins, and I was like, oh...
One thing about Gen Z gays is that a lot of them are really like skinny and pretty or they're very grungy. Like I'm noticing like grunge.
Yeah, dirty.
Like mullet, ring, earrings that are just like little loops, just like...
Little dirty nails and stuff.
Wearing long jorts that go past the knee and then like dirty white shoes.
Like they're either that grungy Gen Z gay or they're like this pretty little twink.
Yeah, it's like, oh fuck, and I'm like...
Like Disney gay.
You're either a Disney gay or you're a grunge gay if you're a Gen Z.
Isn't that weird?
I haven't met anyone that I'm just like...
Oh, you're like a normal...
A hot Gen Z bro, there's no bros.
That's what I want the bros, where are the bros?
Are there Gen Z bros?
Probably, we just don't know them.
By Chicago.
Cause I follow them on Instagram. Never mind, I take it all back.
Well no, but I mean I think the majority... that's what I'm talking about, Pride's...
And the grungy ones are nice.
So...
The majority of Pride isn't really...
Like the gay and lesbians anymore.
No.
So...
That's basically why you don't like Pride is because you're straight now.
I just am so tired of...
I want to bring back Gay Pride month.
Do you know what somebody said the other day? They go...
The Nuclear Family Month.
I do...
I do...
Like as much as I hate Pride...
Yeah.
I'll never be the Nuclear Family Month.
Like I will defend Pride against that bullshit.
I was trying to, I don't know what you were saying.
What do you say, "I do, I do"?
I do believe that this US Americans, such as maps and such...
Oh, you were going to say something.
No, but I think I was going to... oh my god.
First of all.
Okay.
This I found last night.
I gotta watch this.
Oh Trump, you are my daddy.
Yeah.
I do anything to make you happy.
Oh Donald T, can't you see.
Can't you see.
You belong with me, in endless ecstasy.
Ecstasy.
Yeah.
It is Pride.
I mean that's gay. Like that's so fucking gay.
So gay.
And they all look like they just lay around sucking dick and jerking... like...
Oh the fat belly boys.
Oh yeah.
When they're little and their little dicks and they're like trying to like with one finger...
Yeah, it's always like, every time I see a big guy jerking off on a video...
It does make me want to gag cause they always lean back cause they have to... they have to push forward so they can get their dick.
So they can reach around.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, you are so right. There's like...
A fat person.
And there's always a loud noise like, ugh.
It's like, I can't.
Why is that how fat people jerk off?
Because they can't get around their belly, I guess, but it is very like, it's very and they're very like...
They don't really care what their situations are happening and you're like...
I don't really need to see you spread eagle like... like humping the air, like I just...
It's just weird to me.
I mean, I guess no one's really pretty when they're jerking off.
No offense, we're all ugly as fuck.
But like... yeah, I'm like thinking about it, I'm like, this is not a large person problem...
Exclusively, but it does seem to be a trend.
Whenever I see videos online...
No, but you know the actual like...
Oh, you're reaching around for yourself.
And the buried penis. It's always like buried, so it's like they're like trying to get at it and they're like...
It's like, okay. First of all...
It's like happy Pride, but like I can't.
I know I've talked about this before, but I like, I can't when you're like, the comer that goes...
Or if you're like...
The talking one for me is like, I can't do it.
Stop.
Because then I'm like, are we using words now? Can I ask a question?
Wait, are we talking or...
Yeah, it's like, I can't.
Now I get carried away.
Yeah, it's just...
And like if someone's like, you're so hot. I'm like, you're so hot.
They're like, why am I talking?
Absolutely not.
Like if I hear that, I'm leaving.
It's so big.
I hate it all.
Happy Pride.
I'm walking away and packing my bags if that's how it goes. Like I'm leaving, bye.
She's packed away.
It was fun.
I mean, yeah.
Can you imagine?
This is the other thing that I kind of hate.
Is when you see people you think are hot and then you find out their cum face or you find out what they're like when they actually orgasm and then you're like...
This has happened so many times.
Like I see them on Instagram, I go to their Twitter, and then I'm like, ew.
Like they'll crack their knuckles, or do something weird while they're jerking, it's like I can't, I can't, I can't.
Yeah, oh, stop it.
And let me tell you something, I think that was a drag queen.
Oh my god, stop.
Wait, who was it?
I don't know this ugly motherfucker.
I love how you get this horny that you end up... it's just like...
I'm outside again, still interested.
So I don't...
Let me see if I can find it. Like...
It's...
Oh god.
Oh god.
Oh god.
But I feel like it was... that can't be it.
No, but I swear, no, but like, he didn't act like this, it wasn't...
Let me find the picture that I was like, oh no, that might actually be him.
I don't know, maybe it's not.
Is it me?
If you ever sat and thought to yourself...
I'm really thinking this.
Did he talk when he walked in?
So he acted very mask.
And he like...
There was a picture on here...
A mac.
Right, like...
And you just walk up like, what's up?
I don't know, I'm concerned for you, like I know you're in your whore phase, but we might need to check it.
We might need to go like, let's just take a double check.
Like send it to... send a pic to someone else first.
Oh, here's the thing.
When you're really horny, it doesn't matter.
Do you know what's so crazy about that is call-in network goes, "no boys over at 1 am."
There's nothing good happens after midnight, honestly it's true.
Like think of the feeling, you get into this mode where you're like, I've got to, before I fall asleep I gotta find someone and then it's like...
And then I always pass out, that's the best part.
I'm always like...
Most of the times you really do.
What... what?
Like Michael last night, it was like...
Oh, I can't.
I'm like, oh we look like we're on...
I love how...
We look like we're on heroin, like...
Whenever you send me a picture of Michael passed out on the couch on one of these types of weekends, I'm like, he looks dead.
I literally said to my...
He looks dead!
He answered me, okay.
Oh, he's blacked...
Oh, he's not even he's using it with like service really.
He goes, "have fun recording." I said, "thanks babe, how blacked out are you?"
Good question, fair question.
"Zero."
That you're blacked out?
I go, "zero?" No response.
He's not.
Zero.
Zero waters all day. Like what does this mean?
Like I don't even know.
Zero.
Yeah, it's...
Now he's drunk. Like he...
There's no way he's not, right?
I don't know, now it's like...
Oh, Arch City.
He was up there for a second, but I think that's where he... I don't fucking know.
For stakes.
That was my first date with Matt.
Was it?
Arch City.
Hmm, Matt also stripped there when it was Havana.
Oh, that's sweet.
So, lots of fun memories there.
Was this... was it his choice to go there?
I don't remember.
He's like, I want to take you somewhere, somewhere where I used to shine.
No, it was in a group. I made it, I made it into a group thing.
Cause I like contacted his friend, our mutual friend and said like, invite him, invite Matt.
You're like...
I feel like otherwise Matt would never have initiated.
Oh no, you have to walk him through everything.
Oh fuck, I'm so over it.
It was so funny. I was like, I had to grab him on the sidewalk and be like...
And he was probably like...
Oh, he loved it.
Oh, he loved every second.
I mean, look at me.
He's obsessed, like you said with Michael, like they're obsessed.
He's constantly making comments on muscles.
Oh muscles, I want my muscle, muscle, muscle.
Oh, you're so fucking hot, I want a... I want to fuck you.
You know I want to cuddle.
I'm like...
Yeah, it's like, girl, I have morning breath, it's 9 AM, we're hungover.
I can't even be, I can't even be like sexy at the club...
Because then all of a sudden it becomes a fucking slug...
I know, as soon as... yeah.
And making out on the car, and it's like all of a sudden now he was like grabbing my neck.
I'm like, okay.
That's what's happening with Matt in New York City, like if he gets like two drinks in him...
He's blacked out and he is gonna...
He wants to make... yeah, suddenly he's so eager and I'm like, you're never like this.
Right, and actually it's like...
So for me, it's hard to connect cause you're never like this.
It's hard to connect.
We can, so you can connect.
It's hard to connect sometimes cause then I'm like, what kind of state of mind are you in? Are you hot, are you high, drunk, are you...
Are you gonna remember?
Are you gonna cum in under 30 minutes?
Like...
Oh, he does.
Thank god.
That's the one beauty about that.
Same with Matt.
Like just get it done with.
I even said to him, I go, aren't you going to Pride? I said, you need to hurry up.
Yeah, mhm.
That's what I'm talking about, like if you knew somebody that was like so hot and all of a sudden they did that, you'd be like, ew, fuck?
It wouldn't work.
The fuck?
This is not bad.
It's really good.
And your little friend bartender who hugs you and flirts with you online...
Mixed this with something else last night and it was like a mixed drink.
I guess so, I... I actually...
Oh, zero.
You okay, stinky?
What, where did this originate? You've got to talk about this.
Okay, actually that's what we're going to talk about.
This is what we're going to fucking talk about.
No.
Mmm.
Okay.
Okay. All of a sudden now she's got fucking shit to say.
I just remembered this.
So we were out, we were out last weekend.
Michael sends a text.
Michael said, "Uh, he's so hot, but those balloon titties. Flight's still on time. Miss you puppy stinks. Excited to see you and the puppy girls and cuddle naked." Winky emoji, eggplant emoji, tongue sticking out emoji.
Bobby says, "Are you cock-blocking me?"
Michael said, "Well, I'm in Medford so can't do that LOL. But am horny AF for when I get home with you pupper."
Not well, bitch.
Pupper, stinky pups, stinky...
Yeah.
Stinky what? I can't even read it.
Stinky...
Stinky... puppy stinks.
Puppy stinks, stinky pup.
This is... this is... they belong in Pride parade.
Put them on a float and march. They belong at Pup Night.
We are not in it.
We aren't pups though.
But...
Puppy stinks!
Yeah, it's like, oh my god, are you stinky?
Puppy stinks, stinky pup.
I'm horny AF.
I'm just like, I'm picturing him on the tarmac like waiting to take off.
I'm like, you're sitting next to a grandmother and...
I feel like, I can't even imagine in the mind, what mindset, how would I be horny AF on a plane while I'm waiting to come home?
I'm like, get the plane off in the air, get me the fuck home. I want that drink snack combo, like let me get home.
Is my luggage on time, I don't have time, that's it.
Horny AF.
Take it back to that video. You're sleeping on the plane.
You don't care about nothing in your life.
Yeah.
You're horny on the plane, Michael, how?
Now, I will say...
Yeah.
Sometimes internationally, like this could be nasty if I wanted to.
But sometimes it becomes that way.
Well it depends on who you are.
They have those mile high clubs for a reason.
I would love to give a straight guy a handjob underneath a blanket on an airplane.
I actually have watched videos of that.
Oh, it's so obvious.
On Twitter, I'm like...
Women and men when they do it, it's like, god...
I'm like...
You know.
Straight people are so gross. I just can't stand them, they're just so gross.
No offense...
Yeah, like when I was a kid and I saw that woman giving like a foot job in a Mexican restaurant and I was like...
Yeah, it's like...
She's a disgusting toothless woman who rides a motorcycle with long white hair and she's rubbing some guy's dick across in the Mexican restaurant.
It was so disgusting. I was like, I think it's what made me gay. I was like, this is...
Yeah, I can't.
And the fact that he's accepting her dirty little stinky feet that I can see, they look disgusting, the nails aren't done, grocery store feet. Yep.
And just rub, and he's just like, ugh...
It's like god, yeah.
And I'm like, this is...
I just realize straight men are just so desperate.
Yeah.
And that's the problem.
Any attention is good attention.
Like when you compliment a straight guy and they get like...
Yeah, build that ego, they love it.
They love it. Now if they don't like it, that means they're gay.
Exactly. You can tell, when you say something nice about a straight guy and they get like...
No bro.
They're gay.
I have never in my life been more convinced that if you are homophobic, you are a faggot.
I know, it's pretty much everyone I meet, it's pretty much every time.
It's true.
Every single time too there's something, up, child... a lot of times it's like child boy porn.
You're like...
Yeah, it's like how did that get on your phone, Carl?
Huh, you hated the gays, you're all into church, and now you're doing double whammy, you're a pedo that likes boys.
I follow the right-wing watch on Instagram. There's a couple accounts on Instagram that post these people that are like deep in that world.
Right, they like literally shun everybody and then, and they're like...
And post all over Facebook.
These gays are ruining it, and it's like, you're looking at child porn on the dark web.
It was you, the whole time it was you.
Dark web, not so dark.
Dark web scares me.
Shine a light on the dark web.
Like what is the dark web, you know what I mean?
Unencrypted or...
I think it's like...
Ooh.
I actually don't know like if, I don't think it's like that dark. I think you like, you're the one who's dark, so you can interact with these websites that are necessarily...
See I thought they, it was like a VPN.
But they use servers in countries that don't have laws about it, yeah.
So like, there, it's like...
They'd have to, or they must have a server like in their house that they then somehow shield from people knowing where it is or...
Oh, so I'm like...
Why? Why?
Why do you want to know?
Oh, ew, I do not want to know.
Why do you want to know?
Well actually I listen to a podcast, and there's actually a website that you can go kill people.
What?
Yep, on the dark web.
And it's real.
Actually there was a website called Silk Road, you could buy any drug you wanted. I remember that.
Yeah.
You send your, you send your money crypto style, and then you get a hit on the person, but actually he wasn't really killing anybody. But then it really did happen. I don't know, it's a whole podcast, it was really good.
I love that.
Yeah, it's scary though, the world's scary out there.
And we've got to be ready.
Doomsday prepper.
And speaking of...
Doomsday and prepping.
Like I know we have to say one thing about Trump every time we talk.
Yeah, we do.
He's bad now.
Diaper or...
Everything about it is just getting really bad.
He's like full on...
Like I'm waiting for the massive event, like a stroke, a medical...
I am too waiting for the event.
I'm waiting for the event.
So actually that report that came out, I think I brought this up, but he has 20...
Yeah.
Like...
Yep, just a regular checkup.
What's that? What?
Right.
I'm like, I don't know, my grandma and grandpa didn't even have that many, like I'm like...
He's the president.
Right, why do you need 22 people looking at you?
Specialists.
He's the president of the United States.
We gotta make sure everything's tip top. It's like, what about the brain?
You know it's actually really sad though about everything in life?
Oh, I'm about to get, oh no. That a bowl hit.
Oh, honey.
Here's the really sad thing is that I keep thinking about, like he keeps getting richer and richer, but bitch you're just gonna die.
I know, I love it.
Like you know like Elon Musk, like world's first trillionaire, yeehaw! It's like, you're gonna fucking die.
Right.
And everyone hates you, especially your family and kids, look at them, they fucking hate you.
Right, oh yeah.
Look at your daughter.
It's so funny to me. It's like, they're they're doing all this stuff thinking they're getting great and all oh it's wonderful, secret societies.
Or they're never gonna die.
And then they're...
I feel like they act like they're never gonna die, like that's...
But they do, yeah.
It's like why are you taking all these trillions of dollars, you're just gonna die.
They are.
Why don't you help end world hunger, I mean...
They have no idea what happens afterwards anyway. Like it's like, you just die like everyone else.
No.
So why are you being an asshole?
Why are you being an asshole and withholding trillions, to-willions, trillions of goddamn dollars.
Do you know what I'm saying?
That was a...
And that's on God, period.
Uh...
You okay, stinky?
I just...
Why would you not? I don't even actually want, run, drink number one.
I don't even want to interact, like...
You don't want to, we don't have to.
Okay, so then I also wrote here...
Oh yeah.
You actually had a really good quote.
The quote is...
"Let's get loose, this ass ain't going to eat itself."
Did I say that?
Yeah.
Cause we were like, we need to, we need to relax, we need to...
This ass ain't gonna eat itself.
It was really a great quote.
I don't remember that.
That was probably after the margaritas.
Right.
Yeah.
It had to be the margaritas.
Oh, the margaritas make us mouthy.
Actually yeah, we were being pretty...
Cunty.
And I don't care, where did we even end up?
Remember the troll?
Yeah.
No.
We ended up at Cavan's I think.
We walked to Cavan's.
We've been over this.
I think we like went to A.W.O.L and it was horrid.
Sure. I'm pretty sure we went and we were like, we gotta go.
And we left. And I left you.
And then I was like, I'm gonna hang out and then I...
You didn't hang out long, I don't think.
No, cause that's that oh yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Something weird happened.
That one bartender there with the shirt off, he was flirting with me at first and then now he doesn't even look at me. I'm like...
Honey.
What?
Honey, you're not like...
Which one with the shirt off?
He's little, he's a new guy.
Oh.
I'll show you him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But was he the guy who was straight that I don't know if he's straight now?
No.
Okay.
Huh.
Well, mmm.
I need to check my email because...
Check my email.
Are you Vietnamese?
Need you to check my email.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Well cause I actually had like those...
Well I don't know what's happening but he's like, I have $500 for this campaign and I'm like, I don't really know.
What campaign?
For Jack'd, I'm like, who's even on Jack'd?
Jack'd.
Our next sponsor.
I love Jack'd! I just joined them years ago!
We love Jack'd. I know, I was like, didn't this like...
Mmm.
But he's like, we'd like to do something during Pride. I'm like, okay, you're giving me a week to do something.
I'm going to Toronto.
I had a I had a credit...
I did.
Oh, you wrote something? Thank god.
Okay.
So...
Do you want me to talk about Toronto?
So you're going to Toronto.
I'm going, how do you say it though? I think it's supposed to be Toronto.
I think it's Toronto.
No T at the end.
I don't think there's a T at the end because when I said the T at the end I got made fun of a lot.
Yeah, like Toronto.
Like people were like, oh haha Toronto.
It's like Toronto.
I've been there like four times by the way, it's weird.
You have?
Yeah.
What do you think?
It's like New York, it's literally New York.
Oh.
Not kidding.
Oh.
Yeah, it's as diverse, it felt like...
But it's easier, like it felt safer.
Right.
I will say like it feels a little, yeah, it feels more like, okay.
Clean or...
They have a nude beach there that I'm gonna go to that's a gay nude beach.
What the fuck?
Hanlan's Point.
This is, and this is right before we go to Buckwoods, so I have a good little warm-up.
Oh yeah, you need to get, you need a warm-up, you need to warm that cock up.
I know, I'm worried.
Why?
I'm not.
I'm like...
Aren't you guys at a Korean spa like three months ago?
They did have a Korean spa there.
That was so fun.
Oh you bitch.
But I don't know if it's that good.
Steamworks will be.
I will see.
I'm actually kind of excited, except for I'm landing during the final game in Toronto, Toronto, get it right. Toronto.
The qualifying round or like the... the World Cup.
Oh, there it is.
There it is, there she goes.
Okay, I was like, what would be in Toronto?
Do you... what?
Uh, the World Cup, Lionel Richie, and Santana.
Lionel Richie's still alive?
Yeah, he's touring around, baby.
Let's see, that's which one is he, I don't remember.
He's the one that sings...
Oh no, yeah, he has a mustache.
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes.
I just know him because Paris Hilton's best friend, correct.
Her dad.
Correct. Well, I can't think of her name right now. Nicole Richie.
So I remember, that's the only reason I remember him.
Yeah, so Nicole Richie.
Cause like when we were growing up his music wasn't really popular, like I didn't know who the fuck he was.
Hello?
It's me.
Is it me you're looking for?
So anyways, what are you going to do there?
I don't know, honestly, I his plans are nude beach and Steamworks. Wow, we've really fleshed it out.
I had... I had a meltdown.
I had...
I had...
I've been having meltdowns. I just, well first of all, everybody's...
So everybody's working over the 4th of July.
And so I'm like, this is a free day for me to use. So I'm, I can't, I have to use it.
No.
That's so dumb.
So I'm like, Michael...
They're gonna work it and take it later?
Can they take the day off...
No, I'm saying like you're working, Michael's working, Michael, Michael has he's on call so he can't travel I guess apparently.
Right.
Which is like whatever, I'm gonna let him do him.
I don't believe it, but okay.
It's fine.
Same, yeah, I know right, it's like...
So I'm like, well I'm going somewhere. I have this credit I have to use and I'm running out of time.
Because then we're going to Buckwoods, Seattle, then I go to Finland, Park City or Palm Springs.
I can't get it right, I keep saying Park City every time I think of it, cause it's like two...
And it starts with a P, I guess.
Yeah, so yeah, there's just a lot going on so I was like, I need to find somewhere to go. So I started doing research and I was like, maybe I'll go to Fort Lauderdale.
It's so gay.
Actually, it's not that bad though. Florida, when it's even 95 you're right by, you're in the water.
Well I couldn't figure out like the credit, like what, I would have to fly Miami maybe.
No.
And then I was like, well, if I'm going to connect...
Cause I knew I wasn't going to go direct. I was I was thinking about San Francisco but I was like, I'm not going there alone first time like never been.
Oh, I want to go with you.
Right, that's what I'm saying. I'm like...
I'm not doing that.
I feel like you need a solo trip.
I know.
I really do.
Well, cause you haven't done it since fucking Covid.
Yeah, it's been a while.
It'd be more fun sharing experiences now.
Okay, that's good.
It's weird, yeah, like I really don't crave like certain...
Like even when I was like I want to go to Japan, I was like no I want Matt to go cause he will laugh so hard, we'll have so many memories. Like I'd rather make memories.
See I like going alone places sometimes cause I feel like...
It I like being pushed.
Yeah.
No, you hate it, but I I like...
I don't know what you mean.
I like being pushed mentally and like not spiritually but like you have to really put yourself out there when you're alone.
You have to figure shit out and it kind of helps you grow.
I know I've done it twice or three times.
I know.
But it's like, that's why I'm saying like I've done it and I feel like now I'm like, no.
Hmm.
I want to be with...
See I like being alone too, I like having alone time, and quiet and no obligation alone is a different than a at home alone.
Does that make sense?
Nobody can call me, nobody can talk to me.
It's so true.
Like when I was in Denver I did that and I was like...
Right. Like...
This is great. Like I just walked around. I went to the cowboy bar alone, the gay cowboy bar alone.
Yep.
I just made friends with people.
Right. It was fine.
I went back and I was like, I can lay in this bed and I like at 10 AM I was like, I was gonna go to a museum. I'm like...
No, I'm missing lay here.
I'm actually gonna get high and lay here.
And I'm not gonna judge myself or no one can judge me.
Right.
No one's gonna say what are you doing right now?
I know.
I just told Matt I was like, I'm laying down.
It's really sad.
Yeah.
Like it is great.
A sad culture in a way that we are guilty for resting.
Yeah.
When you really think about that, it's like...
You are, well even today when people are like, you're not going out for Pride. I'm like, no, I'm resting today.
We're going out, it's just not early.
We don't need to do 24 hours of out.
Mmm.
Do you like being someone's toy?
I said that?
We were talking about being someone's toy.
And I think we both wanted to be a toy.
Wait, in what context though? Like we want to be like a toss toy, like we want to be like...
Yeah.
Just totally just do whatever you want.
Just do whatever you want with me. I'm your toy.
Except certain restrictions.
Well obviously you're not getting fucked cause they'll be blood everywhere.
Don't even remember this.
No.
And you don't want to be a toy.
No, I do want to be a toy.
You would love to... you would love a daddy to make you a toy.
No, I want to be a toy. I want to tell you what I said. I said, I want to see some hot like 24 year old dicks and also I want a daddy though.
That's where I'm at.
Actually, yeah.
Like I want a group thing, I guess I want group play.
You like group now, yeah you're becoming a pup.
Group only.
Pup.
Group pup, piss, shit, fisting.
I'm...
You are ready for, you're going to make the, you're making the progression.
The problem is I'm too hot for to be a pup.
One more Pittsburgh trip, it's over.
Ew.
Oh you're too hot to be a what?
A pup. I don't want to cover my face.
No, yeah you shouldn't.
I'm hot looking, and I'm also a hot person, so like it'll be hot.
If you could pick another animal, what would you pick for the mask?
None. I don't want a mask. I think masks are fake.
If you had to pick for another animal, just the first thing that comes to mind.
Like think of your animal aura.
What furry would you want to be?
A lion?
I don't know, I keep thinking like armadillo.
Me?
Me.
Oh fuck.
Like I could like curl up.
I'm gonna go a sloth.
Actually, you would be a great sloth.
Yeah, just like you could move really slow.
I would love that.
I know, it'd be really fun, like I'm gonna I'm gonna...
People like sloths, I like it.
It's one of Matt's animals he has to see before he dies.
Oh.
Costa Rica.
Oh is it... oh.
It's easy. I mean, we can see him whenever.
We've seen him at the zoo.
I'm throwing out...
For them or for us?
All of us.
What is a asteroid coming to earth bitch?
Honestly I think that's the next thing.
Oh.
We got to get these Epstein files, like we're never gonna get them. So we're gonna be like, now the aliens and there's an asteroid.
I know I love how they pushed this alien thing.
They're like, alien, I'm like if they're here, where are they?
I mean, did you not hear what Ivanka's doing on that island?
Oh, and the whole country rose up against it.
Right.
And they stopped like, they're like fuck this.
Oh good.
Well, the EU basically told Albania, if you don't review this environmental stuff and like address it, you won't become an EU member. Like so...
No, like fuck that.
It, they're like, we discovered an island!
We were on a, we were on a yacht, and we saw it, and we swam to it.
These motherfuckers are so disgusting, they're just trying to make another Epstein Island, like I swear.
That is for trafficking.
I know.
They're like, and we have bunkers, so no one can attack us cause it's an old Soviet base, and yeah we're gonna put the children down there and pass them around.
It's like, this...
These Trumps are disgusting.
Ew, fuck.
But they're you know well it's not just them by the way I'm not.
Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton too, bitch.
Yeah, like all of them can go to hell.
Michelle Obama might be down there, okay? Oh, canceled.
You can't say anything bad about Michelle Obama.
Oh, that was absolutely ridiculous.
I was like, this is so dumb. I don't know why it's even, how did that even become a statement?
How do you go from God bless, God bless...
First I want to thank my Lord and Savior and also Michelle Obama is a man! Is a man.
Where's the evidence? Like I'm looking for it.
I'm still wondering, oh cause she's tall.
They're like, if you're tall, yeah they think if women are tall they're a man.
But yet they love supermodels who are mostly six foot plus.
I know, uh-huh, Melania.
Right.
Was Melania a man?
Well...
Actually they call it transvestigating and they... the right does it, like it...
Yeah.
It's so fucking funny.
They are, they are so obsessed with trans and gays.
Because Candace Owen does it to the Francis First Lady Brigitte?
Mmm.
Brigitte Macron?
Yes. Yes.
Oh yeah, or I don't know if they have the same last name.
But why are they so obsessed with like sexuality and...
You talked about it earlier.
Oh yeah.
I guess cause they are, she wants to be a man Candace Owens.
She wants to try it out, well.
She could be, she's very masculine, very assertive.
She is very masculine.
Which... her and Megyn Kelly.
Which leads into my sundry.
Okay.
Men need to be more assertive.
Wait.
I wrote this down too!
Oh my god, we wrote this down.
You did too?
Yeah.
Because...
We were talking about this though.
Do you remember the days when a man would come up and like ask you on a date?
No.
Okay.
Cause I've never been asked on a date.
Really?
Well yeah, but like I've never been like...
You're talking about in my real life?
Yeah.
Like, do you want to go have coffee or something?
I feel like assertiveness is dwindling.
I feel like men are less likely to speak their mind, less likely to come up to you, less likely to interact.
There's like this barrier fear.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I you, I really do remember when I first started going out, it was very common to have someone come over.
And be like, hey, you're cute.
And I would do it to them. And now I'm like hesitant to do it ever, like oh hey you're cute, like I don't even talk to people.
Huh.
You don't really either.
You just went to the gym today and talked to people about going out tonight.
Well, this is when we wrote this down. I'll tell you about that.
I am in 2.0.
You kind of are.
And there's reasons.
Well, we realized though is every time that I get what, like every time I like hook up, are these, it's cause I'm like assertive.
It's not me like, I'm always wanting them to be like, you're so hot.
But then I'm like, I have to be the one that goes, let's go.
Every time.
Every time I'm assertive though, like we look at TB, are you like anytime I'm like kind of assertive, I'm like, oh you want to go up to the...
I know, then it works.
You're like, take me to your room.
Yeah.
They're like, okay.
Okay.
That simple.
I know and then like up you go in the little glass elevator I can see you going up.
Yeah, walking on the track of factory baby girl. I'm gonna go lick some wallpaper.
I got a Caesar salad.
You got a Caesar salad and I got...
Some...
You got...
I like anchovy, so it's okay.
Ew.
Cock?
On pizza?
Ew.
Yeah, people are like...
Disgusting.
No, like the pizza places are like, we knew it was your order. I'm like, sorry.
And I only get it on half cause I don't need a lot of it.
Ew, don't you burp up anchovy?
Never.
Ew.
I have a very...
In that regard, I don't get gas, I don't get gassy. I'm lucky.
Ask Matt, he's like, you don't I don't fart.
Do you know that I don't fart at work ever.
And I don't burp.
No that's, what?
People fart at work all the time.
Really?
Do you fart at work?
I'm trying to think.
No.
I don't ever fart at work. I barely even I'll take a shit sometimes like...
In emergencies.
I've had to sometimes. Like, but it's not a everyday, you know.
But it's not common.
It used to be a little more common but...
By the way, you slammed it in me.
The shot started working the past two weeks now I can't eat.
I know.
It's cause I...
I got it deep.
Honey, she deep.
Honey, she got it fucking deep.
I'm a good injector.
You injected me like a...
Mhm.
Like a bat out of hell.
Yeah. So yeah, be assertive is what really we were saying though, is like...
Just say, I think you're hot, do you want to go do this, how about we go over there, do you want to walk with me. Like yeah.
Yeah, just do guy does.
Yeah, like, and actually I was watching girls in Boston, cause the whole Scotland, guys are there and they're very success with the Scottish, I love it.
I love it so much, yeah they are, it pisses me off, I'm like...
Well everybody's like, America's different than we thought it was. The media tells us and we're like, yeah, but you understand that there's all these other countries here too though, so like people can't travel, people can't afford to travel.
Right.
I know.
They keep you so poor in America that you can't travel.
Right, so you don't know what's out there, you don't know what fun is.
People don't know.
It's like...
Remember you just went last year with me.
Right.
That was your first time ever.
Well, Europe.
Into, like, yes.
Yeah.
So, and now I'm obsessed.
And now it's like, oh it's great.
Yeah, it's like, great.
But then you see it and you're like, these people are, like, having fun and they don't really care, and they don't talk about their politics really, they don't really give a fuck about a lot of shit.
But when they do care, you know it.
And it's not little, it's not some little fucking thing, it's like they're gonna all band together and then they're like, we don't want to work on Fridays anymore, so we're just all gonna riot.
France literally has riots, like burning things in the street, shutting down the whole economy.
They know what the fuck to do.
Right. I'm sitting there thinking like, this is the thing, if anybody would, if you just leave your goddamn small town, even go into a different state, like...
You could do it.
Good god. But you're just so wrapped up in the fact that you're in fucking Oklahoma, with all these MAGA fucks, and you have no idea that, oh my god, a black person's nice, or oh my god, there's an Asian that... like the Japanese were cleaning up the stadium. Like...
I know, that's they do that.
But it's so, very Japanese of them to pick up trash.
Oh no, it's very, it is a thing, like they talk, I've read articles about it, there's a whole thing.
Well cause I've heard Tokyo's like...
Tokyo's like...
Well they don't have trash cans anywhere.
Because they just passed a law though that you have to if you sell food like a combini...
Like the little convenience stores or like a little place you grab snacks.
Combini?
You have to have a trash can out in certain parts of the city they've done this because there was a problem with like tourists.
That were just...
But like before yeah, there's no trash cans anywhere. You take your trash with you, to your house, or...
Interesting.
You have a bag with you if you need it or...
Yeah.
Until you find one, you might find one somewhere.
Yeah sure but they're not like every corner.
Like New York City where there's bags everywhere.
And there's rats in the bags and it's gross. Like there is gross to have trash around.
Yeah it is gross.
Take care of your own.
It's very interesting.
But that's right, be assertive.
Be assertive, was that your sundry?
Yeah.
Okay.
Why can't that be a sundry?
I don't know, yeah, it can be.
Oh, sundry shaming.
That's my sundry, sundry shaming.
Anything could be a sundry.
My sundry...
You already gave it, you just talked about it.
Yeah.
What did I say?
Okay, we'll go through it. Like the World Cup and Boston and talking about...
Oh, I guess that could be my sundry.
You said it was. You were like, and my sundry...
Oh okay, that was my sundry.
Play it back.
Play back the tape.
I don't know, yeah, so anyway, I don't know.
You can have another sundry.
I know.
I know.
We just gotta figure out...
Yeah.
We need something to happen tonight so we have a story.
Oh yeah yeah.
We need to be like, we need to get some...
I don't want it to be like Italia, but...
Get some dick tonight. RIP that A or whatever.
RIP.
Rip.
I forgot to spray.
My shoes.
With what? RIP?
The protective barrier.
My shoes are gonna die.
They dead, girl.
Your shoes are dead.
Cause it's the night when everything spills, like everywhere you go it's just dirty, dirty, so I should have sprayed them with that coat.
Sticky.
I forgot to spray them.
You're in trouble, we can't go out.
Honestly, if we have to, um...
Honestly, if we have to just like, quesadillas sound good, like we could cancel.
I know this is a thing in your community.
In your community.
Speaking of, are we going to keep that? Let's keep that personal.
What?
Oh my little, it's okay.
Okay.
It's getting better.
Stop.
My sundry.
I was like, I forgot, and then I'm like...
No it's gone now, I took it out.
Yeah, I'm just trying to...
So I had a bandage on my stomach because I got...
Oh my god, it's coming out.
It's coming out.
Like the pus.
I don't know from my shot or I don't know what it was, but it's like kind of like, it was like weird. It was like red and swollen like scary.
So I was like, I need to put a covering on, so I got one of those like zit things, you know that you like, the patches.
And I did a cover with a big old waterproof patch.
I'm talking fucking, you're mailing a postcard. Like I looked down and I was like...
You're like, ostomy bag.
I was like, is this obvious that I...
Yeah, he's like, can you see it? I'm like...
You're like, no you look great.
It looks like a landing pad for a helicopter. It's huge.
Yeah, yeah.
So, what was I gonna say about that though?
What's underneath?
How she healing up?
She's okay. I'm gonna put another bandage but a small.
Thank you.
But there was something I was gonna say about that.
There was, it was like something...
Last night, when I was...
Remember that guy rubbed your belly? That's why I did that.
My community.
Your pup.
That guy.
He did?
Yeah, he rubbed your belly, he's like...
And he messed up your crop.
Nice meeting you. Yeah as he walked away, and you were like...
He rubbed your belly.
He's like, hey.
So I think it's a thing in your community.
The pup community that you're in?
I'm not a pup.
Puppy stinks.
Puppy stinks, he is a pup.
Puppy stinks.
He's a pup, he's a sloth pup.
Well.
Well, he's a puppy stink.
But this is my other sundry, and this is my final sundry for the night.
Okay.
And I'm noticing it. Now I hate that we've like bashed Gen Z already once, but like, I think it's like a younger people thing.
These zit cover-ups that are like star-shaped, and shaped like smiley faces and little fruits, like I've seen an orange. I'm like...
Why don't we just have a zit? Like everyone knows that you have blemishes. We all get them.
But like what are we doing covering it up?
But I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you it.
What? What are we waiting for it to burst? Or why are we covering it?
No it's 100 microneedles.
It's microneedles.
That's what the patches are, they're little microneedles so you push it for like 30 seconds and then it...
I'm telling you, it works.
Why?
Cause then it gets into the zit and it removes it.
It's a like a...
But I want to know how long after you take that off, I mean like, how long are you wearing this cause I see people wearing them on multiple days.
Like overnight?
It's only, I've seen people wearing them, I've watched videos where people have the same one on like three days in a row.
Yeah I just don't think they work. I think we just need to people can just have zits.
I still get zits, I'm 41, almost 42.
You really do.
It's like the weirdest thing. Like I get...
I think I have like the lightest though too, I got diagnosed.
Folliculitis?
Yeah.
I have a staph here, I have a punch wound, he like punched me...
Oh yeah yeah I have a punch, yeah.
Where's it at? It's somewhere on my arm.
Oh I don't know, but I had folliculitis and I have folliculitis.
Folliculitis.
So I have folliculitis.
And that's probably what happened on my stomach.
Oh.
Yeah it's folliculitis.
Probably folliculitis.
Oh well.
But you know, we all get folliculitis sometimes, well...
You know.
That's all.
That's all folks.
Sorry we don't have yeah...
I feel like we don't really have the content.
We don't have a lot of content. I'm gonna be honest.
Be honest, we're tired.
We're up and moving.
We're moving, we're about to go.
We're about to make content.
That's our big announcement. By episode 400, we're in another continent.
That's a fucking announcement.
The announcement is...
And it's starting to get hot in here now again.
That's when it's like, time's up. Like...
Well, I'm starting to sweat and...
My piggies are sweating.
I'm gonna get more folliculitis if I don't stop sweating, so.
You will, you will.
Okay.
Well, anybody have a great day.
I fucking hate everybody.
Anybody!