Not Well | A Comedy Podcast

Is Kansas City The F Capital of the World? (Gay Travel & Problematic Slurs)

• Bobby, Jim & their gay, lesbian, bi, trans & queer friends • Episode 50

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This week we tackle some key issues. Bobby jokingly asks Jim if he wants to have a pussy and learns that being trans or presenting a certain way does not put you in any box or label. We then go right into the Cincinnati Reds announcer, Thom Brennan, speaking on a hot mic about how Kansas City is the " one of the fag capitals of the world". Jim opens up about why the word triggers him but also how to spin it back and not allowing the word to hurt him. This week also is about Gay travel and what we feel about it. Bobby gets really anxious and Jim fights to feel "normal" by suggesting that going on all gay vacations is a good thing. We also do the much anticipated much loved (on patreon) rapid fire.

***Note: This week has a lot of hot topics and a lot of words that some people will find offensive. We use some words like pussy and dick to be funny but we also use the word Fag and Faggot to laugh and learn instead of let it continue to hurt us. We are all love and please feel free to reach out to us if you feel something we said was out of line***


Some Topics:

Bobby's Edible Problem
Having private parts that are different than what we present
Britney Spears
Jamie Spears
Baseball
Fox Sports Ohio
Kansas City
Slurs
Poor apologies
High School
Being the Gay kid and always waiting to be called a fag
Straight girlfriends protecting us
Gay Travel
Boys Town
Chicago
Boston
Costa Rica
Fear
Holding Hands
PDA
Rapid Fire


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Unknown Speaker :

Welcome to she's not doing so well it's a podcast I'm Bobby

Unknown Speaker :

What is this not

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the tongue is my tongue is in my throat

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I'm gonna try to limit the fox to

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love it

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I'm just so awkward at this God hello everybody welcome to she's not doing so well I'm Bobby

Unknown Speaker :

I'm Jen we got

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wow this bitch comes in here and all of a sudden is like I'm Dave

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and on day and I can't remember my name

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and why should you

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Why would you you know what I mean?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah You know what? What I got we got our chakra we have our shocker bands on we are shocked out Schicchi shocking shocking has been shocking me since the moment I walked in.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, to be honest with you, when you To talk about my behavior to go inappropriate. Um, so, a little bit about me, I took out a ball.

Unknown Speaker :

And I'm sorry, excuse me. What was that face by Dave? He's like,

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Yeah, you did. I was watching

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you hit you

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hit me hard on me up. I'm like, What the hell?

Unknown Speaker :

It was really gross tasting tastes really? Yeah, like better ketchup. No, that's worse than bitter.

Unknown Speaker :

Bitter ketchup. Yeah, like better some betters better. So I was like, really bad though. Like you were and I also drank a 20 milligram of CBD sounds like falling asleep and couldn't feel my body you don't even mean you having

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an out of body experience. He

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knew me Yes. Full out of body.

Unknown Speaker :

I kept looking over here like we could record I'm like, haha,

Unknown Speaker :

we did. Take a deep breath. Do you want to give people fucking looks? Why don't you tell me which one talk about

Unknown Speaker :

honey. I'm serving luck.

Unknown Speaker :

You are ready. You're like looking at Dave like, why am I even doing this? Well, honey.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh no Here comes to self consciousness about the podcast. No, you know what? I've been ready and running and going.

Unknown Speaker :

You know what? I've grown now. What are we done? No. I mean, are we done said,

Unknown Speaker :

You asked me we're downstairs. I was like, no, not Yeah,

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you're like, yeah, we have socks and like, yeah, you're done. You're like,

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bitches trying to start a new podcast.

Unknown Speaker :

Like, well, we, I was gonna say, you know, what's really crazy is I do think

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thinking you're like, what if we just renamed this and did a whole new thing?

Unknown Speaker :

Kinda but not really. Because here's the problem. Not because?

Unknown Speaker :

No, I'm actually a little bit upset about her name. Sometimes.

Unknown Speaker :

I know you said this last week, and I was like, why are you upset? You're like, what if it was just like gay kinda or gay?

Unknown Speaker :

Ash Ash? No, I was thinking like, what if it's not well, or it's just an easier like?

Unknown Speaker :

Boring, boring. Yeah, you're right. I mean, not

Unknown Speaker :

well, no, this isn't. This isn't original.

Unknown Speaker :

It is actually infinitely original name. I'm not saying it's good, but it's original. That's originally we brought it up while you happen between us. Make sense,

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you know, maybe it was legit.

Unknown Speaker :

She was not doing so well.

Unknown Speaker :

What I really want to talk about today is I want to talk about what policy we I do want to talk about what else policy and whap means.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, let's talk about it. Because what

Unknown Speaker :

does it mean to you?

Unknown Speaker :

Um, it means I'm burying my head under the sheets because I am not looking at that when I say Not at all. Not in a bad way. Like, I'm sure it's beautiful. I'm sure it's very gushy, feminine femme it's like a gusher on a Saturday night it's like a summer's Eve but

Unknown Speaker :

you know what?

Unknown Speaker :

A summer's Eve You know, sometimes you gotta sometimes you gotta do shit out on a summer's Eve.

Unknown Speaker :

Why is it called summers he you ever

Unknown Speaker :

feel not so fresh down there? Oh, if you ever lower you feel fresh.

Unknown Speaker :

You don't feel fresh most of the time, but like, I never like stuck your finger on the crevice. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, and it's not only like,

Unknown Speaker :

we're human. It's like there's like

Unknown Speaker :

a mold. Yeah, it's a mold. You have to smell yourself. A hint of poopy, like moldy. And now for me it's mostly

Unknown Speaker :

vinegar. tbh mine's more like hot pepper.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh,

Unknown Speaker :

actually. Yeah, no, I never like I will never hook up. I would never hook up with anybody without having a shower before. Period. I've never done it. Yeah, and you have to know I fucking have not had those

Unknown Speaker :

guys march up that hill. I

Unknown Speaker :

hopped in the shower. The minute they were like, on the way I was like cool.

Unknown Speaker :

Doing hands tough. Yes. Now, you know, I don't not believe you were fully fresh with hands. Want to make a bet? All right.

Unknown Speaker :

$100. All right, show me a video of you.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, I can't visit. Well, then you lost. You've lost the bet.

Unknown Speaker :

happen we have to assume you're

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totally stanky whispering

Unknown Speaker :

let's go back to summarization real quick.

Unknown Speaker :

We go back to summer z.

Unknown Speaker :

Why is it called like, what is a summer's Eve for you? Like it was like a moist kind of like

Unknown Speaker :

name is like slightly moist a little bit steamy.

Unknown Speaker :

So we talked about the summer evening, I think Yeah. Or is it like the eve of summer

Unknown Speaker :

I think ah, like fresh spring. Oh,

Unknown Speaker :

like fresh. Summer's Eve like you're back to like rain cleaning

Unknown Speaker :

like a sign cleaning? Yeah. Wow. Okay, so it's a spring cleaning.

Unknown Speaker :

That's actually kind of I didn't really I didn't

Unknown Speaker :

put the real. You're not actually supposed to clean out your pussy like that. You were

Unknown Speaker :

not you. That's like emergencies. Right?

Unknown Speaker :

You have an emergency. Like you're never supposed to do that.

Unknown Speaker :

You have a natural system that just cleaned that's it's like sobbing.

Unknown Speaker :

Right now your pussy is cleaning itself out.

Unknown Speaker :

Right? And you don't mean to it? It is a self cleaning oven.

Unknown Speaker :

And Why can't my hole be like that?

Unknown Speaker :

Well,

Unknown Speaker :

good question. I mean, think about it. Soft clean. No now God Oh no, I'm shutting. Oh,

Unknown Speaker :

I'm gonna

Unknown Speaker :

fill up. Oh my god

Unknown Speaker :

yeah there's no self cleaning oh my god there's absolutely no

Unknown Speaker :

no there's none and that made me think of something yeah so if you go to Amazon you can search for like HSA or FSA eligible items I never never I didn't know that either

Unknown Speaker :

yeah so shut up you getting ready for wait on your FSA on a man know this cuz if they do they're about to blow in their FSA getting ready for FSA zero dollars. Yeah I

Unknown Speaker :

mean that's why I'm actually reporting it cuz I'm thinking the gays need to know this.

Unknown Speaker :

God no, you can clean out your hole with your FSA money.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, you really can. Like it's, you know what? Like, so I'm like, okay, and that humidifier was on there. Like all this shit. I'm like, I'm gonna buy a first aid kit. I have like, thousands of dollars on it. You know, I've FSA two I decided because I take out more taxes. So then you don't tell Dave. They'll spend it all Honey Give it to me. Glasses contacts, contacts, Animas

Unknown Speaker :

app on Apple Watches

Unknown Speaker :

most lubes on there.

Unknown Speaker :

Probably on well it prevents vaginal tearing, or anal toenail tearing. That was that was incredibly heteronormative that you just did there. That was problematic sometimes. You know,

Unknown Speaker :

sometimes I think you want a policy. You know what, just talk about it so much. Not a bad way.

Unknown Speaker :

Not allowed to talk about policies because heteronormative but

Unknown Speaker :

it is. I'm thinking, honey, you are a sis man. So I have

Unknown Speaker :

this hat and I

Unknown Speaker :

but I could see you being like, not necessarily like trans in your personality in your party, but like trans in your private parts, like you just want to have a bus here.

Unknown Speaker :

That is not problematic. That is not like nice. Why the romantic I'm saying that not at all like

Unknown Speaker :

you are totally reduced to there. genitals like completely

Unknown Speaker :

renewed No, no, no, what I'm saying is that you could be still a man with a vagina,

Unknown Speaker :

right? That's called a man that's called. That's just called a trans man.

Unknown Speaker :

That's a trans please. If you're a sis man that then gets a pussy. Are you a trans man? Are you a trans female man? It depends how you present yourself how you present what is your gender? So how you present yourself so you present yourself as a man of a pussy?

Unknown Speaker :

You still a man?

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, that's fine. Then you have a policy.

Unknown Speaker :

The thing is bandwidth vaginas. Yeah, that's the thing. The thing is, is that it does not matter what genitalia you have, it's about how you present and the past person what do you identify

Unknown Speaker :

present, not present, but never like what they identify as thank you because you could present as whatever the fuck he wants. And so

Unknown Speaker :

like identify as a man identifies a woman that's your

Unknown Speaker :

period has a lot of men out there who have vaginas. And you know what, I've had dreams where I'm having sex with a man with a vagina.

Unknown Speaker :

That's why I want to talk about that. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

totally. I want

Unknown Speaker :

to say this. I'm not trying to like knock on the trans media. I'm really like, sure I was maybe making Knock knock.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, you know what, there are men left vaginas. That goes out to JK Rowling. Let's put that don't fucking tell that right and

Unknown Speaker :

I'm just bringing it up so that we can learn. You know what? I mean? I needed a call. I think

Unknown Speaker :

I brought you one.

Unknown Speaker :

I did. You did?

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, you did? Oh, and now you're out. Wow, that was an interesting conversation.

Unknown Speaker :

Again, can have vaginas. Okay? That's the crazy thing

Unknown Speaker :

that I'm saying. So I feel like you're kind of on the verge of being a man with a vagina.

Unknown Speaker :

I'd be fine with having a vagina like,

Unknown Speaker :

I really do think you're comfortable with it. Like you would love to spread that pus.

Unknown Speaker :

Yo, I would if I would. I've often thought like, Is there a benefit to having a vagina and hooking up with guys?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, cuz um, you don't have you just it's ready. It's like not there's no surprise party happening. Like, here it is. Here's the show. You

Unknown Speaker :

had a hot pocket at all times. Like it's a good idea. I know that's ready to roll ready to roll

Unknown Speaker :

the hot pocket on my pants and I think it's fun

Unknown Speaker :

though fuck my little fucking

Unknown Speaker :

push here. If you put your butt cheeks together and then just lube it up oh yeah you can it's like a hot like they can I mean that's like the like it's not going in the hole but it's like

Unknown Speaker :

you're so rubbing you're like yeah

Unknown Speaker :

it's like a hole yeah

Unknown Speaker :

it's like a hole like a bunny rabbit hole

Unknown Speaker :

who have been been a little my little been done.

Unknown Speaker :

And now the news

Unknown Speaker :

the pregame show presented by racing Oh wow,

Unknown Speaker :

these the broadcasts are Fox News Sports. He was about to go on Live on the Air or technically was on live. Well, he was but he didn't even now Mike so he's sitting there and he he doesn't think the

Unknown Speaker :

what is he describing the city of Kansas City. So Kansas City is the fab capital of the world. What are we doing in Columbus?

Unknown Speaker :

Well, and I'm wondering, I'm to move, but it's but

Unknown Speaker :

is Kansas City Really? Is Kansas City gay.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, that could be the name of it could be the title. That's a good title.

Unknown Speaker :

Yay. But the question is, I mean, well, is it It might be you were born there,

Unknown Speaker :

Missouri. Not Kansas,

Unknown Speaker :

is it? It's Missouri.

Unknown Speaker :

Actually, they film query out there. So they are probably pretty gay.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, okay. My mom. I'm a gay guy. That's why he

Unknown Speaker :

was saying, gay, gay, gay. Good guy. Anyway, he's like, let me apologize. It's like, oh my god. I didn't mean to say that. I'm so sorry.

Unknown Speaker :

His home run,

Unknown Speaker :

home run. And you're like,

Unknown Speaker :

the thing is, like, like you said, who is recording this and who's in the room with him that he feels comfortable just saying that right? There's at least 500 people there's gotta be like five other people who are they're just like, hey, there's the fucking fat cap right on the world.

Unknown Speaker :

Like, yeah, Bill

Unknown Speaker :

yeah bill. Oh, you're on three to like fuck you're on negative three negative two. Oh, you're already on. Fuck it. We'll do it. My god damn it.

Unknown Speaker :

You don't that's from O'Reilly Fuck it.

Unknown Speaker :

We'll do a live we'll do it live.

Unknown Speaker :

Bill O'Reilly Yeah, it was like a beam for so long.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, I do remember he's an asshole. Yeah, no, it's that new guy Tucker. Younger Saul. Yeah, Bill O'Reilly molested one too many women and now it's Tucker Carlson. Just waiting for that drop. Second day.

Unknown Speaker :

It'll happen. Don't worry. What do you think about somebody using the word fag on air? Well, what do you think about the word fag in general

Unknown Speaker :

hate it because I called it every day for like eight years of schooling. So I mean, from fourth grade through end of high school. It was probably almost daily. for Google. You're a fag. Yeah, you're the faggot. faggot was if it wasn't daily, it was every other day. For sure it was that you don't do not it wasn't that often. I mean, I was literally just fagot for all of us. School. Oh, is bad that's really sad. Yeah. So I still hear that word and I some of my friends have reclaimed it. And so I knew my time reclaiming my time right so like, oh hey fag. Yeah, like oh you little faggot and I actually like that. Now I'm okay now I've like moved beyond high school just been like high school was trash, so I just ignored it. And I still ignore it, but right. Oh, me too. But now I hear and I'm okay. I feel like we've reclaimed it. It's kind of like fuck off. Yeah, we're faggots. Yeah, you but I know there are like guys who are growing up right now who are in their young teens and they're just sitting there like still being called faggot in rural America. And it's not great. It's not a good word. Listen, it really was dehumanizing to hear it every day was dehumanizing.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh my god you're really opening up right now what it was after Shockers opening just to give you that bracelet

Unknown Speaker :

you gave me one bracelet my Shockers have a line. Wow, your hole is so open. Now. The whole heart closed tight like it's it's gonna tear Don't tear it again.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, so it doesn't affect me like it affects you I think and I think I liked your

Unknown Speaker :

must not have been called it like

Unknown Speaker :

I was but it was it. I thought every day when I got bigger you were like, I can't be tall. Oh, yeah, well, I was a tiny little twink so when I was not there like eating getting fucked. I wasn't.

Unknown Speaker :

You probably weren't. You're probably starting off with some that someone's dad. You're like, oh, is your dad home tonight? Oh, your mom's at work late. Okay. Oh, I can't live with my parents.

Unknown Speaker :

Cuz you're 18 legal? No, yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

I was legal. I did not know I really was. Now when I was on cam at like, 15 show my deck. Well, and that's the truth. And that's the truth of the day.

Unknown Speaker :

The new news Bobby's 15 year old Dick was on cam I don't

Unknown Speaker :

know. And I think like the apology when he's like, I don't ever use that word. I don't like you know, I I'm really sorry. No run. But listen, if you're okay,

Unknown Speaker :

you guys use that word.

Unknown Speaker :

It's just Wrong. Fuck right.

Unknown Speaker :

So like, like when you say fuck we can tell you say fuck before, right? And I'm like, Oh, that's his first time saying Fuck, right? No, no, no. Also you're sitting back all the time. Yeah, all the time. They probably won't ever let the world

Unknown Speaker :

he's read these facts I live on reds.

Unknown Speaker :

They just struck out that's three strikes what a faggot. I mean that is literally he's like yeah, well that's not a home run. Oh faggot what

Unknown Speaker :

I love how he like changes his voice. He's like, this is the fanciest place I've ever been to live on.

Unknown Speaker :

I'm like, oh,

Unknown Speaker :

like so if you don't use it. Oh good. No Nice try honey. Like I'm a good Christian. Okay, no, you're not being gay people. We get it.

Unknown Speaker :

Trump will be like, well, he's gonna speak at Trump's the

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, yeah. Do you see that people lined up for the Republican National Convention? embarrassing. I'm embarrassed. Oh, some teenager who made fun of Native American gray. Okay, he's gonna be on there. Okay, some two white lawyers and I think Missouri We're seeing black people walking down the street protesting peacefully pointing guns at them. They were scared for their lives like that's not illegal. Oh, wait, it is you'd be upstairs. Yeah, you were scared for your lies. Why don't you call it on your side? Yeah, they better be being charged.

Unknown Speaker :

They best be they better begin charged. What

Unknown Speaker :

I was like my St. Louis accent I like that a little fad capital world. I mean, it's just like, this is what so like, the democrats are like, let's showcase our diversity. Look at like, Look who we have coming to speak. The Republicans are like Why? How do we get the most racist emotion? Why like the

Unknown Speaker :

most white race be like we're misunderstood. We are the heartbeat of America. No, you're not Trump. I love what you stand in front of a fucking semi truck and we all know damn well. Yeah, the minute that's over you run back to your little gold plated airplane and fly back. You know what honey truck drivers do you think they're

Unknown Speaker :

trash? Right? You really hate them. You

Unknown Speaker :

don't even know what it's like to live in. You told us to boycott Goodyear. I mean, Joe Biden's from raelynn

Unknown Speaker :

Joe Biden has been with working people all his life. And now Trump Trump's like little he inherited what $40 million and then just like it and then went bankrupt a million times, which Daily Times up, times out receipts are out we are done ready for the well done.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, I've had it so basically don't use Word fag. Or, you know in summary, don't

Unknown Speaker :

don't use fag unless you're a fag. And then you can save and you can say

Unknown Speaker :

but don't straight girls usually get uncomfortable though. They're like, well, if I'm like, well cuz

Unknown Speaker :

they always had to protect us. They were always like, what do you they're always like that word will straight guys in college and high school like, Hey, don't say that word. Because it's

Unknown Speaker :

not day. He fingered

Unknown Speaker :

me out night. That was my favorite defense. I know like he's not gay. And I would be like,

Unknown Speaker :

right? Yeah, I'm not gay.

Unknown Speaker :

No, definitely. Yes, sister. I'm not gay. No, I'm not gay. Like that's the worst. I mean, I definitely like Dec. I don't I'm not yea though. Like suck a little dip. Just because I did a little sucky sucky just the tip. It's not gay. It's not gay. It's not gay. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

nah, okay. All right, we're gay. Hi.

Unknown Speaker :

Hi, welcome back to gay chat. I'm Bob. I'm sweaty balls. You wanna

Unknown Speaker :

you want to Lamborghini

Unknown Speaker :

I thought that was a big thing. You're better work bitch. So I thought

Unknown Speaker :

she's changing

Unknown Speaker :

her changing hurt not her gender her conservative Little Miss Brittany batch doesn't want Brittany daddy running her life anymore. Jamie, what can I just say something I didn't know she was under a conservatorship. So so that's like when someone like controls your life basically. Right? And rules your finances and all your all your decision

Unknown Speaker :

and see your kids without him. No, no.

Unknown Speaker :

No. And now she and I didn't realize she was

Unknown Speaker :

under that. Well, the same Brittany movement like is exposing him so that somehow she got free to like go to a lawyer

Unknown Speaker :

when she went to the judge and was like I want to change my Conservatory.

Unknown Speaker :

wasn't looking so much for watching her 24 seven like it's her dad. But yeah, right so like, doesn't make decisions on anything she does

Unknown Speaker :

know if she goes to a judge and aspirin do she can get it

Unknown Speaker :

doesn't make sense to me. I mean, because like, then you want somebody you want somebody to control your shit. Yeah. Then when you don't want to control us you didn't want

Unknown Speaker :

to but like it was forced on her. Okay, that was like you're mentally on. April. You're unfit? Yeah, like we're gonna take care of it for you. And then now she's just like, I just don't like the person.

Unknown Speaker :

Right? Because it's controlling you and we are doing evil informative. We call your friend for help.

Unknown Speaker :

So I have a topic I'd like to talk about.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay. So Dave is running the show. I mean, honestly, he really kind of his last

Unknown Speaker :

couple weeks. ideas, honey, it's

Unknown Speaker :

a rapid fire.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, so sure we're on fire in this episode. I'm sure nobody's heard the rapid fire guy on the general in the general population. We've not heard the rapid fire.

Unknown Speaker :

So we're gonna have to do a wrap. Fire for this episode,

Unknown Speaker :

right? So first I want to know, I want to talk about some gay travel. I want to know your experiences, right? So like,

Unknown Speaker :

the first one you say, okay, God, can you define gay travel? Traveling?

Unknown Speaker :

or traveling? I want to know, right? So I want to know from your experience traveling as gay white Sis, man. What has been the most uncomfortable you felt while you've traveled? And where? I'll be honest, Boston kinda really And why is that?

Unknown Speaker :

But we weren't really no, not necessarily Boston. Hmm. I'm just trying to think of where I felt uncomfortable. Like, I mean, Atlanta is not always cozy unless you're in the neighborhood. Right? True. That's really interesting question.

Unknown Speaker :

I would say most of Florida,

Unknown Speaker :

right, like anytime I literally feel like the south coast

Unknown Speaker :

of Florida. I'm like, What is happening here like these people? It's messy. It's messy. Florida are just terrible. Like when I go with my part, and I said I'm going out like yeah, like Hey, and then my stuff sons air and it's like, Hey, we're like a family. Look, it's like me, my partner and my stepson. Wow. And people are, you know, just staring strangely and asking weird questions and sometimes being like, Where's the mom? And it's like, oh, okay,

Unknown Speaker :

you just, I mean,

Unknown Speaker :

are you the uncle? I'm like, I can't I am not a troll. I'm not a stream.

Unknown Speaker :

I always get nervous. Like when we check in and stuff. I'm always like,

Unknown Speaker :

they're like, Oh, this is setup for a king. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

yeah, I'm sleeping with a man.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, that's right. You don't want that you fit in a king. Do you want to California? Like we need two kings rolled in their two kings,

Unknown Speaker :

though. No, I imagine a rule. I'm just bad. I love King beds.

Unknown Speaker :

I don't even know what it's like so Oh, but you're

Unknown Speaker :

never here in a twin. Your Twin Twin. You went to twins like me and a fall?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

that's true. That's Yeah, checking in as a problem for me.

Unknown Speaker :

Checking in. What about to dinner Weird.

Unknown Speaker :

Even walking down the street can feel weird.

Unknown Speaker :

What about your most comfortable travel destination where you felt like I can go balls to the wall was town San Francisco. Honestly, San Francisco

Unknown Speaker :

West Hollywood for me. Yeah, that was pretty. We Whoa. So if you were there with me fine.

Unknown Speaker :

No, like, it was like, you could just be gay as fucking you could be anything you wanted. And nobody look twice

Unknown Speaker :

my partner I went to we stayed in the Castro for four days in San Francisco, and it was like normal. Like it was completely normal Boys

Unknown Speaker :

Town in Chicago is good, too. It was

Unknown Speaker :

bend Chicago.

Unknown Speaker :

Wow. I mean, yeah, that was a that was a trip that we had pending. So.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, yeah. We're going to show cuz Aaron invited us to stay. That's correct. Yes. Yeah. And he's actually ruined everything coding our whole entire

Unknown Speaker :

look at you and go Okay, so we'll go in October because we don't know. Right? January. No, probably not January. Like

Unknown Speaker :

why would you go to Chicago and Jen Harry. Okay. Actually, it is Oh yeah, I

Unknown Speaker :

know I've been it's fine. Okay, well it's cold. Yeah, it's

Unknown Speaker :

cold but you just guess for now it's cold. Yeah, like once you hit a certain temperature it's like it's a cold cold It's cold. It's cold. They do have a lot of wind though. Here we go. walkie talkie over here. sighs just can't tax Oh,

Unknown Speaker :

Dave just got a new Apple Watch

Unknown Speaker :

and it's gonna travel How do you get there like checking the airplanes with your Apple watch on the

Unknown Speaker :

plane ticket. You're like I finally convinced you on the way to LA I was like, Bobby you're gonna using your fucking watch to get

Unknown Speaker :

by now.

Unknown Speaker :

Can't do it. I'm not doing enough. What if it goes away?

Unknown Speaker :

Did it You're a big boy

Unknown Speaker :

did it Good job big traveling is

Unknown Speaker :

it opens you to new experiences. Yes. whole new lives whole new experience.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, I know where I was uncomfortable. Where Costa Rica.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, so I was curious when

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I was in Puerto Rico.

Unknown Speaker :

I don't know why cuz It wasn't like I feel like half of them were gay. But I felt like when I was checking in they're all looking at us like, oh, there's this fucking gay gringos

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kinda these gangrene goes here for the whitewash.

Unknown Speaker :

What is the faggot and sorry it was all it Konami calling. Yeah, like medical and American I was medical

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on this. Yeah, they are.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah. So I kind of was like,

Unknown Speaker :

and there was like a villa until like, so we stayed in like a king Villa those everybody knew. Oh, they all knew your facts, right. And so I'm like, Oh, fuck, like, yeah, room service. And like, I used to be on the couch and shit. Like, it was bad. I was scared. I get scared. I do. I'm in Costa Rica is more conservative,

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but they just passed gay marriage. They did. They basically have about a deal as well, right?

Unknown Speaker :

Yes. But in the sense of like, religion and

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religion and value Latina America is

Unknown Speaker :

actually not what I thought I was gonna be when we got there. I mean, it's pretty rural. Aha. Yeah. Like, yeah, you basically land on Oh, Dirt, like, airplane runway. You're kind of like, oh, okay, oh, we're here. We're here. And it's great. And it's beautiful. But it's also like I'm like, oh my god we get killed because we're two gays that are walking. I mean, like any little probably should you act extra straight? You have to extra like budget up. Yeah, all the time

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you push it up all the time. So

Unknown Speaker :

it's like a survival and I'm just talking in general. You know, it's a general travel and it's like, that's like a survival mechanism. You know?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah. To just like, not say a word and Butch it up. But it

Unknown Speaker :

This is my but this is me. This is my Bible.

Unknown Speaker :

I put it up this week. I didn't tell you about this after the whole like Tom Brennan, the announcer for the reds. Yeah, I got on Twitter. Why? To read people's comments cuz I just torture myself. And some guy was like, I don't get it. 20 years in the industry. And this is the first time he said this word. And I go and he said something like, it's not a big deal outside of that. It's not that big of a deal. Ba ba ba ba ba and I said, I dare you to come and say it to my face. That's why I tweeted to him like a psychopath. But sorry, come say faggot to me. Yeah, you strangle your honey, you could

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sit on me and crush me if

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I'm really mad I really say

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Oh, if you were mad you could

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on me I think I could

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I could crush your skulls with my body. No fan

Unknown Speaker :

said on me big Bobby sit on me tsunami. I have another question for you about gay travel. Okay, okay, let me know when can I can I ask? God Okay, so I want to know have you ever done or are you intending to or interested in those like gay travel package knows okay Why?

Unknown Speaker :

I just think it's like you're limiting yourself to an experience that to just gaze and really like there's a lot of probably like really fun straight people that you can meet and like it's segregates you from being able to meet other people. I don't know,

Unknown Speaker :

I think gay travel is just problematic in general. sense of like, when gay travel goes abroad, it's very white. And so like, I think that people not if you go to 40 Fair Trade, but like if you see a bunch of white gay man in Puerto Vallarta or like any other Oh, sorry, I pronounced it correctly. But like think about like a bunch of gay white men going to Cancun like what do you think that's gonna look like as events show guys in the clubs doing trash? They're doing coke over trash right?

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And so like a bunch of black men bought up PV

Unknown Speaker :

and I'm gonna say it's not like that straight white people do this either, but I just feel like that gay white culture

Unknown Speaker :

straight white people go to Cancun all the fucking time

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right but like

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it's like everything that we don't want the gay culture to be by key imagine an all straight cruise like no, right but

Unknown Speaker :

when they were liberating to be surrounded by people who are like, I get to know you and know your lifestyle and you're just having fun. And you can hold your partner's hand without being like, Oh, no, all these strings, nice candlelight.

Unknown Speaker :

That's a really good point. But it's just like, I want to have fun. They might know me but they might know my lifestyle. Oh, they might know my lifestyle but they don't know me like,

Unknown Speaker :

oh bitch. You think you're so mysterious? Well, they don't know me. Okay, I

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will read your diary.

Unknown Speaker :

Laura's in the wild over here we'll read your diary later.

Unknown Speaker :

My dog she's giving you the my diary.

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Yeah. Oh, you should learn English first.

Unknown Speaker :

Fucking call your eyes out well Dave just bashed on all the gay community so I'm gonna have to fight back

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the majority have never been on one of those trips I'm Yeah, I

Unknown Speaker :

like your point though your point but it was

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like what if you want to be surrounded by people who are like you?

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Correct and

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that because straight people get to go around their entire lives surrounded by people who are just like them like, oh straight white people. White people let's go on a cruise. And it's like, what if gay people just want to be like, oh other gay people who are literally like me.

Unknown Speaker :

Honestly, it would be really fun to have like gays in our best friends go on one cruise. So it's like straight girls and gay guys. Yeah, but straight guys are there to to get like naked.

Unknown Speaker :

I just I just feel like some straight guys

Unknown Speaker :

that are curious Oh, that sounds like a hot little cruise like they put in like 500 curious straight guys and like have fun

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guys have fun see what happens you have to guess which ones are like straight straight

Unknown Speaker :

here yes straight quick I don't know I get what you're saying that that's actually a really good point because I

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think it's about like Who do you want to be around

Unknown Speaker :

well that's like Boys Town you go to Boys Town when you go to

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like why do we go to gay bars Why do we go to Hawaii we go to pride like why do we go because it'll feel nice to feel normal which is so sad society that looks at you is not normal which is bullshit but a which it is but hey if we've got to go on space

Unknown Speaker :

we have to go to the trip the fat capital of the world let's go

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we're gonna I'm not gonna go to Kansas City but

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I got the Kansas

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not heard that.

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It's not that it's really not

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is the fact capital of the world I was born I

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wouldn't go that far. Is it get some barbecue and some jazz and you'll be well Jasmine yes. Okay travel jazz in your face.

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were against it.

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I just I don't

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think the hardest part for me is always lodging I just it gives me so nervous.

Unknown Speaker :

It's between that and also I just feel like all the most toxic traits of gay culture are gonna come out while they're on vacation can

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, true.

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I just I can't I always

Unknown Speaker :

I always feel targeted actually. I'm gonna admit something I actually always felt hurt I think because of my size. So I always feel like we're looking at me like what's this guy gonna do? Is he gonna I don't know like I just was gonna be looked at I am because I when I walk into a room you are being like, I mean,

Unknown Speaker :

what are you gonna do you get in the fuck you get in a poll you get in the infinity pool pool. And what do you think is gonna happen? Like break right?

Unknown Speaker :

Like break the glass like a fucking polar bear? Yeah, you swim there. But

Unknown Speaker :

you cause a tsunami and that infinity pool becomes

Unknown Speaker :

a tsunami. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that's always my like, if the three of us walked into a place together, all of us together. Are we on a trip or Well, we're in a regular place. I mean, no matter what, no matter where we walk, no matter, right. I'm gonna be seen first.

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It's just a matter it's just science. I'm gonna be looked at

Unknown Speaker :

while I am because think about it. Is it you or me is Little Miss Muffet,

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your little buffer that sat on my toughen

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the curves in

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my curves. How many points?

Unknown Speaker :

Well, I didn't think about that. Wait is courage is courage what we were just talking about earlier? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god we just do full circle careers or what you smell.

Unknown Speaker :

Oh your couraging way to smell your cards, oh cards

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or cottage cheese and it's three points right? So think

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about earlier about your natural smell.

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I don't want my crotch to smell like cottage cheese.

Unknown Speaker :

Nobody does. But he goes out there and says, but actually there are people that do that just in the bare world like in leather and people like to like natural smell like literally.

Unknown Speaker :

I actually have heard there's a friend who said he likes he called it raw he likes they like the raw cement what And Dave, I want

Unknown Speaker :

to do a rapid fire. Okay, so I want to like so here's let's just look it up real quick. So on our Patreon, Dave has become the rapid fire guru, he gets a group of questions and we and Jim can never say yes, it's supposed to be like a one word answer, but I can never let that go. So we kind of discussed slightly, but basically ask us anything under the sun. So,

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okay, I have I have seven questions. Okay.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, rapid fire. So this is rapid fire. on Patreon. We have videos that go up like once a week, randomly rapid fire. Let's go.

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Okay, first question. Would you rather have an obvious orgasm every time you're close to a piece of fruit or never have an orgasm again in your life?

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Please so just get the fruit out of my arm like walking through like

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write a grocery store. You walk by the

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by the produce session and you

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lose your mind.

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Can't come to the grocery store any

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watermelon

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fuck Okay, so we're going down doing that. Yeah. Fruit

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Yeah, that's also a 77% Oh, finally, common folk Would you rather only be able to have sex and cars or only be able to have sex in the shower? shower?

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Which position Am I in?

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Because this shower the water just washes away the lube so it's not fun

Unknown Speaker :

right? The car there's no fucking room I can sit in the back seat by myself

Unknown Speaker :

it was a suburban or a Yukon XL

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not doing it. You could

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fit you would fit but what if it was a a high top whatever?

Unknown Speaker :

We're playing the what if game again? What if it isn't honey?

Unknown Speaker :

bee? queen size bed so sex and cars or sex and showers. What's your answer? shower showers, showers. Okay, you all serve the majority 64

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I honestly don't like it I hate it Really? I like done it many a time I did but what is it like what were you doing all of them? I like being underneath the waterfall. down lower closer to the ground. Oh wow I'm right underneath the tree limb

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next question please. Yes

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of course I say would you rather sleep with sleep once with someone you were embarrassed by even though it turned out to be great sacks? Yes. or sleep once with your celeb crush but have it be the worst sex of your life? Oh god no. Oh god what's the first one first the first well the first one again versus sleep with someone you were embarrassed by but it was really great.

Unknown Speaker :

But like you're obviously not that embarrassed if you're fucking them. Right well, so that one. I mean

Unknown Speaker :

if your celebrity is that bad, I don't care I don't

Unknown Speaker :

want but you don't want to ruin that vision of your enemy. You follow these? Yeah, like oh my god, and you're like, Oh, fuck, that's all that was like, my whole life was built up for this. No, then that's like, oh my god.

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Would you rather own Be able to have sex. I feel like I know the answer to this question already. Oh, would you rather be able to only have sex in five minute increments for the rest of your life or only be able to have sex for five hour increments? Five

Unknown Speaker :

minutes? Five minutes? That was so easy. Five minutes, five minutes who has five fucking hours? Are you kidding? That's like when you first meet somebody and you're like in your 20s and yeah, make out all night long. And

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you're like, Oh my god, I gotta go.

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exploring your body. It's like, I don't have five fucking hours for you. Listen, I

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gotta go.

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Gotta go. Okay, so would you rather shout I love you mom. Every time you orgasm or shout Long live the queen. Oh. Wow. saluting every time you Oh, that's hot. Oh,

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oh. Oh.

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Okay, would you rather have your porn Search History be shown at Christmas Day? No. or have your porn search history be shown at a meeting with the entire office

Unknown Speaker :

meeting office? Because they know half of what should i do is disgusting. Yeah, I feel like they already know your co workers know who you are bitch like you want to act with your co workers do not know. Yeah, your coworkers know you're a fucking freak. Okay? Like they just do. Barely legal with your best friend. They're like, Oh, did you go hook up with a college guy this weekend? I'm like, No, they don't say that. But they would you know what I mean?

Unknown Speaker :

You mean, okay. hooking up with a barely legal college guy. Like they're not.

Unknown Speaker :

They're not looking at that they're not looking at that. Would you rather never be able to masturbate again, or never be able to eat solid foods again.

Unknown Speaker :

I mean, at this point, I'm really sorry, but like, I'm not giving up eating as much antidepressants as I'm on. Like, it doesn't matter anyway. You know what I mean, right?

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, no, I can't jerk off once a month or I can't I'm gonna go check it off. Why

Unknown Speaker :

not? So you can have like milkshakes. Oh, I'm only having no chicks. What's my life? Don't try any way. You would. You would, honey I mean, pretty. Finally look

Unknown Speaker :

pretty.

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Would you rather only sleep with people with bad breath? Or is this one again? No or accidentally burped every time you moan? Bit?

Unknown Speaker :

I don't know. I don't moan so it's fine How

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much either I think again I talked about one mon final mon final.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay I've actually a good one here. Would you rather have drunk sex or high sex high sex finally answer.

Unknown Speaker :

I've never even had high sex but I'm gonna go with high sex because when you have drunk sex you can't get drunk.

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You can't do it you

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I mean you don't even know.

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Terrible saga with high sex.

Unknown Speaker :

It's bad. It's bad. Yeah. For the next day, you're like,

Unknown Speaker :

Is this not working for you? I'm like, no It's not because I'm blocked out

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wrong what happened last night? Oh

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problematic

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summer see if I Know

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What You Did Last Summer.

Unknown Speaker :

I Know What You Did Last Summer. You're on a deserted island.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, I like these kind.

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Would you rather have sex with a merman with the body and face of a person but the tail of a fish?

Unknown Speaker :

Or do you have socks? Yeah like where

Unknown Speaker :

would you have sex with the merman with a body and face of a fish but the bottom half of a person? First one, I want the body

Unknown Speaker :

but my question is what kind of situation is happening in the fins like is there a deck there? Or are you just talking a little

Unknown Speaker :

slow talking below the waist so we're saying either a merman only

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finger you and give you handys is a

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man's body and arms and fingers or do you want a fish's body?

Unknown Speaker :

You want a man but if you think about it, but if you're facedown into the same can't get

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fish you can get a handjob from a

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man But you

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can get a head

Unknown Speaker :

someone wants a head job

Unknown Speaker :

off their heads oh mama

Unknown Speaker :

no I don't

Unknown Speaker :

know what a man's body and a man's are

Unknown Speaker :

but you're not telling me what's below the waist? I said just a fish body so like there's nothing there like a mermaid like Merman didn't have decks right there's nothing below the literally so you just want like a chest?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, a chest and arm

Unknown Speaker :

listen at least again like I said, at least if you're on an island Your face is buried in the sand. You don't have to see their hands in their face all they're doing is you

Unknown Speaker :

want to get fucked by a fish. That's that's what I'm hearing. You're trying to get fucked by fish. What's the percentage? I'm trying to fuck by a man it's 5050 split so like below the way

Unknown Speaker :

that is interesting, man it's 55 wow that's interesting. Wow. So you I'm no matter how you want to be.

Unknown Speaker :

You're getting fucked by a fish

Unknown Speaker :

but the body is the bottom parts like a waste though.

Unknown Speaker :

Right? But the top part is all fish. I'm getting influenced by a man who just has a mermans lower half Okay, is that rapid fire you have another one that was the rapid Transcribed by https://otter.ai

People on this episode

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Bobby Griffith

Host
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Jim The Unicorn

Host