We'll explore the different ways we act in response to our emotions, and how simple solutions can have the greatest impact when it comes to our emotional health. Learn about the four different ways we act when we feel a certain way: reacting, resisting, avoiding, and allowing. We'll also discuss the importance of teaching coping skills at a young age to help prevent violence and how suicide is a neutral concept that can be looked at differently depending on our views and beliefs.
interested in SHIFT? Want a free call with EMYLEE? Grab a spot for a free call here
Find more information and Free resources HERE:
https://hernextstep.limitlessfemalecoaching.com/landing-page-her-next-step
Have a question about the program or something you want answered on the podcast? Come chat with me on instagram!
@Limitlessfemale
We'll explore the different ways we act in response to our emotions, and how simple solutions can have the greatest impact when it comes to our emotional health. Learn about the four different ways we act when we feel a certain way: reacting, resisting, avoiding, and allowing. We'll also discuss the importance of teaching coping skills at a young age to help prevent violence and how suicide is a neutral concept that can be looked at differently depending on our views and beliefs.
interested in SHIFT? Want a free call with EMYLEE? Grab a spot for a free call here
Find more information and Free resources HERE:
https://hernextstep.limitlessfemalecoaching.com/landing-page-her-next-step
Have a question about the program or something you want answered on the podcast? Come chat with me on instagram!
@Limitlessfemale
Hi, i'm Emily with the Limitless Female podcast. You are listening to Episode 114, the Four Pillars of Shift, part 3, beyond Coping and Suicide Prevention Woman welcome. If you're a mama who is feeling all the feels of motherhood the ups and downs of hormones and maybe even depression then you are in the right place. Limitless Female is your confident inner voice, helping you master your mood and create the epic life that calls you. My goal is to show you just how enough you are so you can show up limitless in your own life. Let's get started. Good morning and welcome to the Limitless Female podcast. I am Emily, your host, your buddy, your fellow mama right there with you in the trenches.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to be talking about things that are a little bit more sensitive and maybe not for kids' ears. So if you have little ones in the car, maybe hit pause or pop your earphones in and then we'll get going. We will be talking about suicide, but not in depth. I'm going to mention it like once or twice. So just want to put that out there in case you guys want to choose another episode, or maybe this is the episode you need. All right, today we're going to talk about the third pillar of the Shift program. I built my program on four pillars. First, we've talked about confidence, then we talked about connections, which included all kinds of relationships, and this one is coping. And I like to say we go beyond coping here. I really think that the coaching tools we use here and the tool I use that I learned at the Life Coach School really goes so far beyond coping, beyond managing our feelings, that it's just there is no word for it, and I'm going to explain that to you in this podcast. So I want to be clear I am not a doctor or a mental health professional. I am a coach, but that's why this makes the perfect topic for me to talk with you about today.
Speaker 1:So suicide is actually the second leading cause of death for our young people today. For the ages between 10 and 14, it is the second leading cause. That is a staggering, mind-blowing statistic. Of all the things that we could, our children could encounter, that is the second most common And in 2021, there were 48,000 deaths between the ages of 10 and 14. And in 2021, there were only 23,000 deaths. When we look at the rates at which people lose their lives to leukemia And, of course, it's super, super sad And cancer is something that I know we put a lot of energy and money into solving And it's a fantastic effort and place to put all our skills and resources and our money. But this number 23,000, is of all people who passed away from leukemia in 2021, versus 48,000, which is just our 10 to 14 year olds, and so I want you guys to know I do not coach from fear.
Speaker 1:This is not a fear-based podcast. So, as you're starting to feel a little hyperventilating and a little stressed you have your beautiful kids in your home and you're starting to feel stressed I want you to take a deep breath, breathe in, breathe out. You do not need to fear. Okay, fear never was our best parenting emotion And that is not what I'm trying to do.
Speaker 1:What I want to point out is that maybe what we're doing right now when it comes to curbing this number, this suicide number and it also went up 33% between 2020 and 2021. And we know, we understand why right, our teenagers were home, they were alone, they were isolated. It was traumatic, It was challenging. People lost their jobs, people lost people they loved. It was a very challenging time, but sometimes we're working too downstream to fix some of these problems And also as parents, you might notice that we put a lot of energy into so many other things that we're afraid of when it comes to our kids. So there is fear there, but generally it's not about this topic, it's not about suicide. There's fear about so many other things.
Speaker 1:But I want to help you guys understand that you actually have way more power than you think when it comes to solving this problem. Like I said, i'm not a doctor and I'm not here to teach you how to treat a teenager with suicidal thoughts, or, if that's you, that is not what I do. But still, the more and more I coach, the more I study and research mental and emotional health. I am convinced that coaching and mental wellness, mental fitness, is the way to solve this problem. Okay, and I hope that today I can persuade you that ongoing mental fitness or emotional wellness you guys, i'm going to use these terms interchangeably So mental fitness, emotional wellness, mental health practices, mindfulness those can all people use all those words. I'm just talking about maintenance, mental health maintenance, which is kind of that space that I work in because we go to doctors for these emergency needs. We need them to put the fire out right now. We need help today. We can't wait a month. We can't wait three months. I'm so grateful for that. You guys, i'm on medication. I'm totally a huge proponent of using all your resources. I'm so grateful for it. But it wasn't solving the problem. That was okay for a really long time until it wasn't, until medication was not enough, until life got really challenging, even with medication And I didn't have the tools to deal with.
Speaker 1:Motherhood and motherhood gets its own category. All together of challenging motherhood, i think, is the most complex emotional job on the planet And for anybody out there who is just in the role of motherhood for somebody you understand as well, you have those feelings Relationships are the most challenging thing. We do. So as a mother, you are balancing these very special relationships to you and it's convoluted with a lot of things that we think we should be doing and things that we think will help our children and using their behavior and what they think of us as a measuring stick for whether or not we're doing it right. And so we're just always in mom guilt. We're always burnt out. We have struggle finding the joy in motherhood that is there y'all And that's what we do in shift. We learn how to have ongoing mental fitness. I call shift the mood membership for mamas, because that's what we're doing I'm teaching you what to do with your mood, but it goes so far beyond coping. That's why we have all the pillars And I want to talk to you specifically about coping today. So I'm going to get to the fact that I think emotional fitness will actually really help solve the problem of suicide in your own family. Okay, and I will get to that. So, if that is perplexing and feels like a very huge claim, stay with me.
Speaker 1:Now, coping is the way in which we respond to emotion. So let's talk about coping for a second. The definition of coping is the thoughts and behaviors that are mobilized in order for us to manage internal and external stressful situations, and they're different than defense mechanisms because they are Conscious, they are on purpose, we are aware of them. Right, it is us stepping in to our, you know, default settings and saying, well, hold on there. What do you? what's happening here? Take a breath, slow down, starfish breathing box breathing, you know, let's splash cold water on our face, let's go on a walk the things that we do to cope with those internal, external, stressful things in our life. Okay, and there are some different ways that we act When we feel a certain way.
Speaker 1:Action is one of the lines in the model. If you guys aren't familiar with the model, go back to episode one and two. It is foundational, it is life-changing, so go back and listen to that one. But the action line and actions are what we do usually. That's usually where coping falls into the model. It's what we do, it's something that we can do. It says thoughts in there, but From my experience, the thoughts part is that positive thinking right, it's like just blanketing the thoughts that aren't serving us with a new thought and It's not Sustainable and it's not long-lasting If we put a new thought on a thought that we truly believe, that's really stressful, like I really hate school.
Speaker 1:But then we're like you know, school be great today, it's good, it's a coping mechanism, and yet you're still gonna be triggered with things that show up, that prove to you Like, yep see, school is horrible, it's terrible, it's hard, because you still have that belief that school is the worst. You guys following me. So if you believe that there's so much laundry on the couch and You're trying to be more positive, so you're like yay, laundry like this is my turn to just, you know, tune out and listen to a podcast and you try to just do the laundry happy, but you still have this belief that there is too much laundry in the house. But you're like, but it'll be fun anyway Anyway is a really good indicator that you're trying to think positive about what you think is a negative situation Laundry, okay. So that's where I see our present stance on coping. It's the behaviors and it's the thoughts that we use to basically mobilize, you know, our emotions so that we can manage those situations, stepping in and being like whoa, i gotta do this, i gotta think positively, i gotta splash water on my face, i gotta take a walk, i gotta call a friend. They are good, they are great. Coping this mechanisms are amazing, but there's more, there's a deeper and better way, and I want to teach you guys that in shift. I want to not just teach you guys that, because I know you're learning that here in the podcast. I want to make it, make your mind change so that the way you interpret the world is Through this beyond coping mechanism, not just that you understand it, but that you're using it. That's where your brain works.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the different ways that we act, okay. So action line always falls into a few categories. We can either react, resist, avoid or allow. Okay. And when we talk of, we're talking about emotions, right, because this is what we do From our emotions. Our emotions are the catalyst for our actions. So when we react to our emotions, we're gonna see that in the action line, right. When we resist our emotions, we're gonna see that in the action line. The way that we show up. When we avoid our, our emotions, we're going to see those coping mechanisms that actually have us avoiding feeling, right. And When we allow the emotions, you'll see the behavior in the action line That is actually letting us feel our feelings. Okay. So we're talking about the action line. We're talking about the way that we behave. We feel a feeling, but it is our response to our feelings, okay, and so it is all wrapped up in coping. So when we explain this, like the four different ways that we usually Act or react, it's so much easier if you think about your feelings as this little toddler outside of you Okay, the way that you would think and talk and behave in response to this little person.
Speaker 1:Sometimes in coaching we talk about, you know, our emotions when they're Untethered and when we're not paying attention to them. It's like having a toddler running around your brain with a sharpie marker coloring on all the walls Okay, and we're just not paying attention and then we're believing everything they write on the walls. So let's picture this little toddler and we're in a grocery store because I know all of you guys have been in a grocery store with a toddler. Thank heavens for grocery pickup and delivery. Every time I go back to the grocery store I'm like, oh my gosh, i don't know how I Don't have tons more time in my life now because I don't have to go to the grocery store. How do we just fill the time you all like? that is mind-blowing to me because it Saves us so much time. When I go, i realize how much time it takes to go, walk around the store and tell my kids They can't have toys and treats and talk to them about money and all that good stuff. So I am so grateful for grocery delivery.
Speaker 1:But let's talk about this toddler and the first way that we respond to feelings in the action line as we react. So you, let's imagine that the toddler is screaming and they want the sucker in the checkout line. Okay, they're screaming for the sucker. Reacting would be yelling at the child. Right, you have a feeling and then you're going to act in response to the feeling, and reacting is almost always subconscious. There is none, you're not stepping in there at all. So there's no coping mechanism. This is just you reacting, although I did just, on a coaching call, explain to my clients that oftentimes yelling is a way for your body to regulate the way you feel. It's like a spillout of emotions, so it makes sense, but I wouldn't say it's a good coping mechanism. It's just something that our body does to self-regulate, more of a defense mechanism So we can react. We can react to our child by yelling at them.
Speaker 1:The next one is resist, resisting emotion. For that little child in grocery store would look like, maybe holding their mouth closed, right, or telling them to be quiet, like we're quietly whispering in our angry whisper voice. Like be quiet, please stop. And the more we tell them to stop, what happens? What happens when you hold your child's mouth closed? Have you ever done that for just a second in desperation at church, they scream louder, right. When we resist our feelings, they get bigger. Okay, that is not a good way to deal with our emotions, but it's fine, we do that sometimes too.
Speaker 1:Another way that we respond to our emotions is we avoid them. Okay, and we do that with buffers. Now, a buffer is anything that we do so that we can avoid an emotion. It is putting space between us and the feeling. Right, if you're going to go run inside on the kitchen floor, you're going to put a pillow down first. You're going to slide on that pillow because that's the buffer between you and the kitchen floor. So with that child, a buffer might be to just give them the sucker. Like, just have a sucker and be quiet, please. Right, so avoiding is buffering. Okay, we don't solve for the problem We didn't solve for the screaming child.
Speaker 1:That little child, or that emotion we have, has not learned to not scream at the grocery store. They've just learned that when they're sad and they want to sucker, they need a sucker to stop being sad. And I know all of you guys can relate that sometimes it feels like if we're sad, we need ice cream to stop feeling sad. We haven't really solved for the feeling of sadness. We've only learned that ice cream helps with sadness. Okay, and buffers are generally something that cause a negative effect. So you might feel good for a minute after the ice cream, but overall you end up lower than you started. Okay, so distractions like drinking water or going for a run, those can be coping mechanisms. But if we are avoiding the problem and it's causing us a net negative effect, then it's probably not a useful coping mechanism.
Speaker 1:Right, and the last way that we can respond to our feelings is we allow them. That's kind of like when we look at the little screaming child, our little girl, and we say, hey, i see you're feeling really frustrated. I'm so sorry you're feeling frustrated. Why are you feeling that way? And we can say we can validate their feelings. You can say, oh my gosh, that's so hard. I hate when I don't get what I want. It is very challenging. It's so challenging to wait, right, and I not this column with my children, but I'm just saying this is the goal, right, you know it's. It's waiting them out, it's sitting with them and waiting them out. And you know what the key is here with allowing is that we manage our thoughts about them. So we're resisting, we're holding their mouth shut and we're thinking please don't embarrass me, please stop yelling. In allowing, we're letting them yell and we're thinking of course they're yelling. It's really hard to wait. Of course they're yelling. This is my three-year-old. What did I expect? Or even, of course they're yelling. This is my 12 year old. They've done this before. My 12 year old behaves this way.
Speaker 1:One way that I used to not allow my emotions. I thought I was allowing them. I thought I was leaning in is a word I hear a lot. When it came to my kids arguing or fighting in the car, i thought I was allowing it because I was sitting quietly, taking breaths in the front seat, coping right, taking some, some slow breaths and just trying to allow them to work it out. But then I would always end up exploding and yelling And I thought how come I'm reacting when I'm trying to allow and feel the emotion? But it's because I wasn't allowing the emotion. I was sitting there but I was not managing my thoughts about my feelings or about even my kids in the moment. So if my child is screaming and I'm sitting there quiet and I'm letting them, but I'm thinking in my head they are out of control, then I'm probably going to eventually yell at them.
Speaker 1:So allowing thoughts would, or feelings would, look like letting your child yell and then having a thought like of course nine year olds behave this way. My nine year old behaves this way. I don't know if anybody else's does, but mine definitely does And they're right on track because this is exactly how they always behave. And for my nine year old, this is where they're at right now, like who says what's normal behavior for a nine year old? If your behavior child is behaving that way, then it's normal, right. And for lots of people parents who have children they want their behavior to improve. Yes, it's great to say they don't have to act that way, but it's even more useful to decide that. But they are today, right now. So it serves me really well to believe that this is normal for them. Maybe it's normal for them because of you know what they're going through or their age, or because of what they're diagnosed with, right, but I choose to think this is normal for them And it serves me and it allows me to continue to sit with and feel my feelings. And there's also a podcast, you guys, that teaches you how to feel your feelings And I will make sure that I link that in the show notes below. But it's a really good one And we teach all about that inside of shift.
Speaker 1:So those are the four ways in which we respond to emotion. We react like yelling at the child. We resist like holding their mouth closed. We avoid by buffering right, giving the child the sucker or eating ice cream, and we allow, which is the best one, which is where a lot of coping mechanisms come in. We allow by sitting with our feelings and also managing our thoughts about that feeling, and for a lot of us, that looks like why is it okay that you're so frustrated? Why is it okay that you're so frustrated? Because remember that little girl outside you screaming that's you inside your head. So all those lovely things you would say to her, like I get it, we got to say those things to ourself. Of course you're having a hard time. This is a lot, this is overwhelming, but let's just feel it for a little longer. Let's just go back and feel it When our brain wants to tell us but this has gone on way too long. Nope, back to, of course, because how long is too long? What is this life about? It's supposed to be challenging. We're not supposed to get to stability. We're supposed to develop resilience, right? So that's what allowing emotion looks like.
Speaker 1:Now a lot of you are probably thinking coping, like you're telling me that coping or mindfulness, or mental fitness or mental health, ongoing mental health is going to solve the problem of suicide. It's not going to solve it, you guys, but I do think we have a massive power and responsibility to prevent it. And here's why I think this, because I know it sounds like this is a very simple solution to a very complicated problem, but that's how the most effective solutions are often very simple. That's what I've found in the gospel in my life. They are very simple.
Speaker 1:When we, you know, when we had the leading cause of death was heart attacks, we didn't come up with a way to create an artificial heart. Now we're working on that, or maybe they've created that, but back then, no, we didn't hire a hundred doctors to just study and work on just that. No, we tried to figure out what is the cause of heart disease. Is it food? Is it lifestyle? Is it stress? What exactly is happening in the body? What is the response of the body to life that's actually creating this problem, and how can we change those upstream problems to then affect these downstream symptoms so that we don't have so many heart attacks, right, but those are really simple solutions And that is why they are so hard for people to follow.
Speaker 1:If you tell a person, hey, just eat a Mediterranean diet and I'm not saying that's what helps, but just, you know, we've heard this a hundred times Eat a Mediterranean diet. Do you know how challenging it is and how many people do not follow nutrition advice? Number one because it's challenging to do what you know is good. But number two, because things that are the simplest are the hardest to do, because your brain will tell you well, if it's so simple, let's just skip a day. Right, if it's so simple, let's just not do it. How could it really make an impact? and we don't do it?
Speaker 1:I know I've always said, like, if I was a pioneer, i'd be so like stalwart What's the word? Stalworthy, stalworth, i would just get out there, cross those planes, and yet I complain about going to church on Sunday in my air conditioned car. Right, it's the simplest things that are the most challenging because they sneak up on us. Right, if we want to have our teeth our whole life and not have cavities, it's like just brush every day. It's the simple solutions that create the biggest results because they are ongoing. Okay, it's maintenance, and we do this with our cars too. We don't wait until our cars are completely ruined. If we need new brake pads, we go get new brake pads. If something's on the engine, we go have it looked at. We even do things preventatively, like get our oil changed in our car. So how come we're not doing this with emotional health?
Speaker 1:And I was watching this documentary about actually about school shootings, and they were saying that most people who are homicidal are usually suicidal because they don't have a lot to lose, right, they're willing to lose their life, they're willing to risk their life in pursuit of this really awful thing they're going to do. But what they realized was that schizophrenia, bipolar depression, anxiety none of those were correlated directly with violence. None of those were indicative of being violent. Actually, what was more indicative of being violent was if somebody did not have emotional wellness or coping skills taught to them at a very young age, They could trace it back to kindergarten. People who knew coping skills in kindergarten were far less violent. And a bell went off in my head.
Speaker 1:I was like, yes, it's so true, because sometimes we think about mental health and emotional health and mental disease as something that we just can't fix. We're just always going to feel that way. We just can't make it better. But I think there's a difference between mental illness and the way we respond to life. We can have a chemical imbalance or something going on in our body physiologically, but we also have this separate choice of how we respond to life. And, you guys, it goes beyond coping, it goes beyond how we react to life. That is such a downstream solution And I love coping. I think it's incredible. But that is coming in at the action line of your model, like, hey, do this Right, just do this, it'll get better. You guys, there's a better solution. Okay, and it's beyond coping.
Speaker 1:And I'm talking about recognizing and learning that circumstances in your life are neutral. So when we talk about coping, we're talking about dealing with difficult situations. But what if situations weren't difficult? What if I told you that the way you were thinking about the situation was difficult? But the situation itself was not. And even for something as challenging as suicide, it is neutral.
Speaker 1:When I was at coach training, somebody stood up who had lost their child and asked tell me how suicide is. How could it possibly not be negative? How could it be neutral, You know, and what Brooke said was that we can think and feel however we want about suicide. Of course, if I lose somebody, i want to grieve and I don't even know if I have a choice in that. At first I mean, i'm going to allow myself to grieve, but it is true that not everybody has the same feelings about suicide or about death in general. Right, not everybody has the same feelings. And if at first that feels challenging, i want you to think about maybe somebody who thinks that that is the option for them. They might not think that it's the worst thing in the world, that it's the worst thing in the world. They might think that it's better than the alternative of how they've been feeling. Some people don't wouldn't call death like that suicide. They might call it a sacrifice, right, if they have a very extreme ideology.
Speaker 1:So the way people feel differs, not because, you know, because they're just feeling different, but because the act itself does not create an emotion within us. We don't. It doesn't happen to somebody we love and then we immediately feel an emotion. It happens, we find out, which means we have a thought about it and then it creates a feeling within us. Maybe you have deep, deep sorrow, but it's not like that for everyone. So even suicide, even something so trying, is not an ately negative, and neither are any of the circumstances in your life. But you know, it's so much more powerful than just the way we think about suicide. It's the way we think about every daily minute in our lives the laundry, you know, the, the traffic. I know they sound really mundane and kind of silly, but that is what makes up our lives. So if we don't understand that those things are not innately negative, then we just feel like we have to just think fluffy things about something that is really annoying and hard And that is simply coping. When we go beyond coping, we're going to recognize that that thing we think is so terrible or stressful or challenging in and of itself. It is not Right, it's just laundry.
Speaker 1:Laundry is a great one because a lot of us think laundry or dishes right, like how could dishes be awesome or positive? Well, they're not. They're neutral. Laundry is neutral because we don't have the same feelings about it And that's because many of us have different thoughts about laundry. So if I ask most of the moms in my shift program, they're going to tell me very similar thoughts about laundry, that laundry is overwhelming and never ends. Okay. But if I asked somebody who has very little things or clothing and they came to my house and they saw the pile of clothes on my couch and I said, what do you think about that? They might feel jealous or grateful or in amazement of all the laundry that I have, all the clothes that I have, clean clothes.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you see this, that it is not innately negative. It's just that we think some things in our life are innately negative and a lot of things We think exercising is challenging, we think that work is tiring, we think that bedtime is exhausting, we think that, you know, taking care of the dogs is too much, we think that time is too little, we think that, you know, cleaning is too often. So, you see, we have all these beliefs about what they are, but the truth is they're just neutral And it's the way we think about them That changes the way we feel, and we aren't just thinking something positive about something negative. Your life is neutral and You actually have the option to choose what you want to think about Every situation in your life. You get to choose. Ultimately, your thoughts are optional, okay. Conditions are boring facts. Everything else is optional. Okay, now Let me bring it back to.
Speaker 1:How is this preventative? Because this is the way that we are going to help our kids Have coping mechanisms beyond coping mechanisms. This is the way that, even if they're diagnosed with depression Right, even if something physiological is happening in their body, it's a whole other thing to have mental Healthiness. You can be depressed and have mental health, mental fitness, right, mental strength, mental tools. I feel like that's who I am. I have depression and also I have a lot of tools, and I understand that life is neutral and that the way I think about it Is completely up for grabs for everything, even the most challenging circumstances. They are two separate things, and so we can help our kids, we can help our youth By teaching this in the home.
Speaker 1:When I was watching this documentary, i was getting all fired up and I was like I need to teach these things in schools. They need to have a happiness 101 class for our kindergartners and it needs to go all the way up through high school. Why are we not teaching this? and then it dawned on me that it should be taught in family systems By the moms, and then I was like wait a second. I work with moms. It was like I was having this whole dialogue in my head like, oh my gosh, i'm the perfect one to tell them that they can teach Their kids these tools and guess what? you don't even have to teach them to your kids. You are the most constant example in their life. So when moms come in and do shift, when they learn these tools and when they change the way their brain interprets the world, we're talking about real Chemical and physical change of your brain, the way you talk about emotions, the way you show up and behave and the way you think, which will show up in all of the results in your life. Your kids will see and your kids will learn those coping mechanisms, even if you don't even teach to them. And that is why I coach moms.
Speaker 1:That is why I think that we have a fighting chance against lowering this number of suicides and it makes me so emotional and Excited and also, you know, very passionate about the subject, because I feel like in my own head There's some pushback like, no, emily, you can't help with with suicide. You've never been through that. You've never had suicidal thoughts, that you're not a doctor. But I realized that they are two separate things Depression and what's going on. Physiological is one thing, and it creates all kinds of thoughts and feelings, but then there's a separate side where you get to bring in your conscious self, right, the part of you that steps in Consciously and says, whoa, hold on, let's take a breath, let's let's pay attention to the way we're thinking about our feelings. Isn't it okay that we're depressed today? and then that final step, that beyond coping, which is We think that this is an horrible thing but in fact it's neutral. What does somebody else in the world think about it? Right? what are some other optional thoughts I can think about it? Why might those be true? In what ways have I already seen evidence that that's true, that that's actually a good thing in my life? and Then we show up in our, in our families, being the head of this, you know, kind of emotional part of the family system. I think moms do a great job at that and Your kids will develop Beyond coping skills. Okay, so hope you guys see the whole connection there.
Speaker 1:I Really want to help you guys grow your coping skills and change your mental health and your mental fitness. It does not matter if you are diagnosed with something you can add these tools to, to your You know Fortress and your armor and all you the weapons you have to combat The struggles of life. You don't have to deal with life circumstances. You can learn to think differently about them. Right, instead of just dealing with what's handed to you, you could actually realize that difficult things are not handed to you. You could think differently. It is a mind-blowing Like thing to understand, and every time I teach it here, i realize that I am still learning how to teach it in a deeper and deeper level, because it is so Life-changing when you understand that circumstances are neutral, but they don't create your feelings, but that the way you think about them, that meaning you assign to them, is what's creating your feelings. And if you guys can emulate that or, even better yet, teach that to your kids, there are some really amazing things in our future, and that's why I'm saying this is not a fear-based podcast, because I don't need you to be afraid about what's to come. You just show up and it'll be amazing.
Speaker 1:And the last thing that I wrote in here that I really do want to say is That we cannot create our kids thoughts Right. We cannot change our kids feelings. We are not that powerful, but we can surely teach them what to do with their feelings, and that is the job of parents is to teach, okay, and to be your best, healthiest. You know beyond copingist self so that they can watch that. So you can't change their thoughts of feelings, but you could absolutely teach them what to do with them, and that's what I want to leave with you guys today. So if you guys are interested in learning more about this, we're actually going to be talking about buffering and about Breaking that desire loop. You know, when you want to not want the chocolate or you want to want to exercise. I'm going to teach you how to create that desire or break that desire, so that you no longer have to resist the cravings and the desire, but instead you just don't have the desire anymore. I'm going to teach that in our next month's class. So if you guys want to be part of shift, then you got to reach out to me at limitlessfemale at genealcom and I'll get you in to the shift program.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys so much for listening today. I hope you have an amazing day and I'll talk to you next time. Bye, if you have questions about anything you've learned here on the podcast, or want help with something going on in your own life? Hop on a free coaching call with me. In just 30 minutes, you'll have real tools for your unique situation. Go to limitlessfemalecoachingcom. Forward slash work with me, or you can find a link in the show notes below. Spots are limited, so grab one before you miss it.