*** NEED HELP? To get notified of our weekly open office hours, CLICK HERE! Ask questions, get coached, or just listen in! I've got you woman!
"THE SECRET" was a self help movie that dove into the idea of the "law of attraction". And, ever since we have seen it referenced in every area of our lives. However, there is a dark side to this way of thinking.
In an attempt to work harder, be more faithful, avoid emotional pain and assert our privilege, we have entered the realm of Toxic Positivity and Hustle Culture.
I'm going to delve into the dangers of these 2 lines of thinking, as well as teach you why we choose these solutions to our insanely busy lives and how it's creating a world where we can never do enough and constantly outrun our own happiness!
If you have been trying to outrun your emotions by doing more, or slapping a positive thought on a hard circumstance and calling it good... I can help!
interested in SHIFT? Want a free call with EMYLEE? Grab a spot for a free call here
Find more information and Free resources HERE:
https://hernextstep.limitlessfemalecoaching.com/landing-page-her-next-step
Have a question about the program or something you want answered on the podcast? Come chat with me on instagram!
@Limitlessfemale
*** NEED HELP? To get notified of our weekly open office hours, CLICK HERE! Ask questions, get coached, or just listen in! I've got you woman!
"THE SECRET" was a self help movie that dove into the idea of the "law of attraction". And, ever since we have seen it referenced in every area of our lives. However, there is a dark side to this way of thinking.
In an attempt to work harder, be more faithful, avoid emotional pain and assert our privilege, we have entered the realm of Toxic Positivity and Hustle Culture.
I'm going to delve into the dangers of these 2 lines of thinking, as well as teach you why we choose these solutions to our insanely busy lives and how it's creating a world where we can never do enough and constantly outrun our own happiness!
If you have been trying to outrun your emotions by doing more, or slapping a positive thought on a hard circumstance and calling it good... I can help!
interested in SHIFT? Want a free call with EMYLEE? Grab a spot for a free call here
Find more information and Free resources HERE:
https://hernextstep.limitlessfemalecoaching.com/landing-page-her-next-step
Have a question about the program or something you want answered on the podcast? Come chat with me on instagram!
@Limitlessfemale
There is a place in coaching, in self-development, in self-improvement, in religion, in families. For negative emotion, there's a really great place in mental health for it, because if we don't get good at experiencing all emotions then we really can't handle it and your body can't even self-regulate, like just at a nervous system level. You can't self-regulate. And I see this too with our kiddos and screens that because they can hop on a screen when they're feeling any emotion or bored or anything, they haven't really figured out how to just sit with an emotion and allow it and allow it to pass or think about it or solve for it. Woman, welcome. If you're a mama who is feeling all the feels of motherhood, the ups and downs of hormones and maybe even depression, then you are in the right place. Limitless Female is your confident inner voice, helping you master your move and create the epic life that calls you. My goal is to show you just how enough you are so you can show up limitless in your own life. Let's get started. Hi everybody, my name is Emily, I am your host of the Limitless Female podcast and today is episode 124, toxic Positivity and Hustle Culture. I'm really excited about what I'm going to share with you guys today. I think that it's going to apply to anyone in any area of their life, and especially, especially y'all mothers, people who are part of any type of MLM. I think it applies to anybody who is part of a high demand religion, which the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is. I just think that it's really, really going to be useful, because I feel like we see toxic positivity and hustle culture in every area of our lives and I feel like it's getting more and more prevalent with the ease of information. I don't know about you guys, but the more that social media becomes accessible, the more self-help becomes accessible. I feel like you used to have to read a book to get self-help information, and that sounded like the worst thing in the world to me. You guys, I was not a big reader, but I definitely didn't want to pick up a self-help book. My impression of self-help was taking an hour to hear about all the ways I needed to improve, and that I sucked. So I was never into that, although it's so interesting because, looking back, I feel like my parents are very self-help. I grew up in a very positive household and not toxic positivity, but just a very positive household.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to talk to you a little bit about the secret and the law of attraction and how that was the birthplace of this toxic positivity, or at least where it became more widespread. And you see it everywhere and used in every self-help talk and every MLM hype up speech. It came from the secret and, before that, from the law of attraction. I remember going to see that movie with my parents and thinking it was very cool. You guys, I am very impressionable, honestly. So I was like, wow, this is so cool.
Speaker 1:I think I've always been very interested in this idea of taking control and having the power to create what you wanted. And as an athlete, I remember driving to gymnastics meets and my dad having me lean back in my seat, close my eyes and of course I'm rolling my eyes at him and he's telling me to visualize my routine on the beam, because that was the event that I was the most afraid of. You guys, I cannot tell you how many times I have straddled the beam, fallen from really high or flipped around off the beam, smack the floor. It's just pain. You guys, 24, seven gymnastics and if you've ever been a gymnast or you have kids who are in gymnastics, you know. Okay, if you know, you know. But my dad used to have me visualize and do all those things. So really I grew up in a very self-help type of family, very positive thinking, just really like what you put out there you will create, take ownership of your circumstances so that you can change them, and so all of that was really useful.
Speaker 1:Well, one of the things I have always loved about coaching and the model that I use is that it wasn't the secret and I didn't really know how to put my finger on it. But I often you guys will hear in previous episodes me say it's not like the secret in that it's concrete, like I can show you how a thought can create a result for you, and also because we're focusing on leaning into our emotions and emotional regulation and like all those things right. But I couldn't really put my finger on why it wasn't the secret and why the secret wasn't enough for me. Okay, and if you guys have never heard of the secret, I'm going to break it down for you.
Speaker 1:So the secret was a movie. It actually was not very popular, didn't do very well at first, but then it hit the theaters. I don't remember how it got there, but it did and it was very popular and gurus and TV personalities like Oprah shouted it from the rooftops. I think Oprah said in an interview with Larry King live that this is what she has been trying to tell people for years. Right, but the secret put it into words for her and what the secret essentially taught was the law of attraction, and this preceded the secret. This was already a thing and it was kind of a thought system or a belief system put together by several scholars and religious groups this idea that what you put out into the universe with your thoughts and with what you do and what you say, you will get back. You will attract back, and there's no real formula, there's nothing really showing you how or why that happens. But they had all these testimonials in the movies about people who had cancer and cured it, or people who looked at a necklace in the window and they had a thought like yes, that is mine and it became theirs.
Speaker 1:Now, although that was like really exciting and cool, it never really stuck with me and it wasn't like, oh, I want to go be a secret coach, which is like a thing. I guess it never stuck with me because, while I am a self proclaimed bougie granola girl. Okay, like a self proclaimed, like woo woo, like hippie, but just a little bit too high maintenance for all that, but still I love it. I am self proclaimed, I am also analytical and I love science and I want someone to show me why something works and how it works. So I don't think the secret resonated with me long term, because I wanted to know the how, I wanted to know how to implement it, and that's what really drew me toward the model and the specific type of coaching that I do now.
Speaker 1:So first let's talk about traditional coaching or life coaching. There are so many different types of life coaches, y'all and you probably notice this when you go on Facebook or have anybody try to sell you anything. They can use the word coach, but my thought when I thought of a life coach was Tony Robbins. I think that was my only reference to life coaching. But a lot of life coaches have taken on this idea of the law of attraction and it is really at the root of what they teach, because if they can help you manage your belief right that is everything a life coach does then they can help you change your circumstances. And Also, I've seen those same life coaches like Tony Robbins and Rachel Hollis Bring this idea of the law of attraction into MLMs. I think they're already in the MLMs but I think that Tony Robbins and Rachel Hollis have become really big speakers for companies like Rodan and Fields, and I'm not sure where Tony Robbins has spoken, but I know he has also been a huge speaker and paid a lot of money to come and talk about belief in MLM. So also in all of these Like kind of closed company meetings within different MLMs, I hear them talk a lot about being positive, belief and hustling.
Speaker 1:Okay, and while I teach about belief, I just want to help give you guys a little bit of a difference, not to say, oh, I'm better or different. Mostly to help you guys avoid Toxic positivity in your own life, even when using the model that I teach, because I think it's really easy to slip into. Another area that I mentioned earlier was we see toxic positivity and hustle culture in Faith-based groups, in most high-demand religions, and I think that that comes Because we are all very teachable. I think when you are in a high-demand religion, you are very teachable or at least the majority of people are and so you're open to new ideas, and also you're already predisposed to this idea that Faith is belief in something you can't see. So you're already very open to this, this willingness to lean into something you can't tangibly touch, and so I think that we're more willing to believe something without evidence. Therefore, right, the law of attraction can be really attractive, okay, and also, I think sometimes toxic positivity comes into play, because we want to appear as a believing person and we also don't want to be shaken by somebody else's questions or doubts, and so we don't share our questions or doubts, and then others also don't share them with us, and it becomes this kind of thing where we feed off of each other in fear that will lose our own Testimonies or belief in our current faith, and so I don't think that any church or any Religious leader has ever pushed this on us.
Speaker 1:I think this is just something that comes from. You know, a Fear can creep into our faith where we're afraid to lose our faith. And fear is never going to be your best kind of belief motivator, right, if you want to believe because you're afraid of the alternative, it's. It's not going to be very lasting. If you remember being a teenager, you might have wanted to believe because you were afraid of, like, the slippery slope. This was in my head all the time as a teenager. I didn't want to, you know, watch a documentary about something about my faith or, you know, listen, go join the Think. There was like a Christian club at my school. Really, they just wanted to debate the Bible. I didn't want to do that either, because I didn't want to surround myself with People who were going to put doubts in my mind. And while I actually think that was good at the time, because I was still developing who I am and what I believed, and I think I just needed to filter the information I had and see if it sat right, right, but now, as an adult, I do think sometimes it's really good to Follow the spirit, follow your gut, but be open to people teaching you and then kind of weigh it against your current values.
Speaker 1:But sometimes I think we introduce this idea of toxic positivity because we are afraid to appear unfaithful or to lose our own faith and it's not serving us. So, you guys, the definition of toxic positivity is the pressure to only display positive emotions. Okay, so, like I said, it's like the law of attraction Right, put out what you want to come back. If you think about being sick, you will get sick. If you think about poor people, you will become poor. If you think about being rich every day, you will become rich. That is the idea of the law of attraction and I think that built into that Law is toxic positivity. It's that you can't address any of your questions, you can't address any of your concerns, you can't feel negative emotion, and it also invalidates our trauma and invalidates our emotions. It's no, those Emotions are negative, they're bad. Only positive emotions are good, and what I believe is that all emotions are good. All, all emotions allow us a very rich experience in this life. That's what makes being human, so Growth inducing, right, because we get to experience good and bad, and positive and negative.
Speaker 1:I think I've used this analogy in another podcast, but I want to bring it up again because my sister-in-law is so smart and she's a therapist and she was teaching our youth at a family reunion about emotions and she talked about how the Ocean being raging or being slow and quiet is not sorry, not the ocean, a river, a River. It's not Positive or negative if the river is raging, because maybe it's going to wash the sides of the river up and it's going to be destructive on the edges of the walls, but it might also produce vegetation and it might be the water that we need Right, and while a slow trickle of stream could be bad and considered a drought, it also Could, right, allow vegetation to grow because it's not being swamped and swept away. So emotions Really serve us in different areas at different times, and so when we start off with this idea, this understanding that emotions are not negative or positive, but generally useful, right, all emotion is useful. Even Challenging emotion, even emotions doesn't drive you to be your best self is useful. When we start off with that understanding, it becomes much easier to to understand, like, how to use the model that I teach Without veering into toxic positivity. So I see that in faith Communities.
Speaker 1:I also see toxic positivity in our parenting, and it comes from this place where we're afraid or trying to avoid a negative emotion or what we might deem as a negative emotion, and so we want our kids to feel better. We want our kids to be positive so we can feel happy, right, because they're in our, our bubble all day long. They are our whole world, especially a mom, like it's your whole world, and so you feel like if they can't be positive, then you can't be positive, and so we really, I think, are trying to push that toxic positivity that you know, like let it go, don't be angry about it, like you know, and giving them a silver lining of everything, and I don't think it's useful. I mean, obviously it's toxic, right, that's why that word is in there. I think it stops conversations and growth. When we try to use toxic positivity to feel better, meaning to constantly push ourselves and others to feel good about any and all situations, it stops us from real growth. Right, we get really bad at negative emotion because we're not willing to feel it, so it's twice as bad the next time we feel it.
Speaker 1:And I'm gonna get into more later. Why toxic positivity? Like, why do we choose it and what's wrong with it? But I just wanted to talk about those areas, right, like self-help, mlms, high demand religions, parenting. Those are all places. Those are just a few of the places that we find it, but you're gonna find it in all kinds of organizations and areas, and I want to bring some awareness so you can maybe try to avoid it or call it out when you see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so let's talk about why toxic positivity is different than what I do, because I think a lot of times people expect right, knowing how traditional life coaching is. People expect that that is what the aim is when you hire a life coach is to feel better. And while I want you to feel better on average, the goal is not to feel positive all the time. So one of the first things that you'll learn if you come work with me is that your circumstances are neutral. This just means that the situations outside of you are, in it of themselves, not negative or positive. They just are.
Speaker 1:Have you ever heard people say it is what it is? It's like my least favorite saying, because it's like saying something and saying nothing at the same time. Like well, it is what it is, but it's true. It's true. Stop hating on that phrase. Because, like right, if it's raining, it's neither bad nor good, it just is. It just is raining.
Speaker 1:And the reason why I help people see that a circumstance is neutral is because when we can see that it is raining, we get control over the way it makes us feel, because the rain does not make us feel a certain way. It's what we make the rain mean. Right, it's that thought we have about the rain, and our thoughts come very quickly and automatically and we're predisposed to all kinds of thoughts. But there is that leverage, that power that we get Now, just because we have the option to get awareness of our thoughts and then question them and then possibly choose a thought that we believe more intentionally so we can feel differently about a situation, does not mean that we will always want to feel positively about every situation. There's I'm gonna give you guys some examples, especially from the secret and the law of attraction, where thinking positively about every situation does not serve us.
Speaker 1:But believing that a circumstance is neutral is not because I want you to feel apathetic towards the whole world. Right, like you stand on the scale and your weight's gone up 20 pounds. Like, okay, 20 pounds is 20 pounds. It's the earth's gravitational pull on my body. Neutral, right, your kid's crying. They're crying. It has to do with their own emotions, it has nothing to do with me. Neutral Like this is not the goal in coaching. It is not to feel neutral. We neutralize the circumstance.
Speaker 1:First of all because it's true y'all. I'm not even joking when I tell you that everyone has different feelings about the same circumstance, even ones that you think are definitely negative, there are still people out there who feel positively about them. That's because we all have our own thoughts. We all choose our own thoughts. You also might have noticed that you felt positive one day about a circumstance and the next day felt negative about the very same circumstance. That's because you chose a different thought. So I don't teach people that circumstances are neutral so that they can feel apathetic 24 seven. We teach them that so that they recognize that the emotions they're feeling are optional.
Speaker 1:I wanna give you guys ownership over your thoughts and your experience of the world, but I think toxic positivity is telling people that you have ownership over your circumstances, and that I do not believe is the case. You have ownership over the way you feel about your circumstances, but you do not have ownership over your circumstances. So I don't believe that you can think your way out of cancer. I do think that the way you think and feel and the emotions you have are very connected with your physical body and can maybe help, but I don't think that the way you think creates the circumstances. I also don't believe that the circumstance you're in is wholly created by your thinking. Okay, we can create results in our life with the way we think, but every circumstance in our life is not created by our own thoughts, and it hang with me here Believing that you've created every negative thing in your life is not going to serve you moving forward. Everything I teach is about what is going to serve you moving forward.
Speaker 1:If it is not serving you to move forward, to believe that I have attracted all of these really intense hard circumstances in my life, these people who may be not treated me correctly, how is that going to serve you moving forward? It's not right. And so I just debunk that. I just choose not to accept that. I do not accept that. I do not believe that I have attracted everything negative in my life, but guess what? I do believe that I have helped attract positive things in my life. That serves me sometimes, you know. What serves me even more is that Heavenly Father also has played a part in every positive thing in my life. So that's kind of why it's different, right? We're not trying to feel apathetic about everything. We're trying to get leverage over what we think and how we feel, not so that we can change our circumstances, but so that we can be happy within our current circumstance and then create new ones, moving forward, okay.
Speaker 1:So the downside of being positive all the time is the way it affects our mental health. Okay, when we think positive all the time, you will constantly continue to be triggered because you're not actually solving for anything, okay. So if I don't get awareness around the way I'm actually feeling and what I'm thinking that is having me feel that way, or maybe what life circumstance that I actually could change is affecting me in that way, then I'm just going to continue to butt up against this negative thought. So let me give you guys an example. It's kind of like white-knuckling it, okay. It's like standing in a pile of manure and holding your breath. You can't smell the bad odor, right. So this is like us talking and thinking positively, but you can only do it for so long until you have to take a breath and the manure is still there. You're still standing in manure. We're not solving anything by constantly being positive.
Speaker 1:Another downside of thinking positive all the time is that we do not get very good at experiencing negative emotion, which, of course, is going to come. We cannot manage our thoughts and supervise our lower brain 24-7. So then when negative emotions come, it's going to throw us into, it's going to dysregulate our whole nervous system. It's going to throw us into fight or flight or freeze and we're not going to be able to cope with it. We're not going to have those physical coping strategies or those mental coping strategies. We're not going to have the cognitive ability to think differently about our circumstance when we're feeling that way, because we are so not used to feeling that way. And so we do this right now by trying to be positive all the time, simply by just going and doing the more fun thing instead of feeling the negative emotion.
Speaker 1:And this kind of leads me into hustle culture, because they kind of tie together that what we do when we think we shouldn't feel negative emotion. If we can't think positive, we go get busy, we go start hustling. And I see this in MLMs too. If they can't believe hard enough, they're going to hustle and they're going to do more and they're going to show up more and they're going to post more and they're going to show up on more calls and they're going to work their business more. But then when that doesn't work, they shift back into or we can shift back into positive thinking like oh well, that didn't work. And I'm working 24 seven. I need to believe harder, I need to be more positive, right? And so we shift back and forth between these two things.
Speaker 1:And the truth is what if we could just feel negative emotion? There is a place in coaching, in self development, in self improvement, in religion, in families. For negative emotion, there's a really great place in mental health for it, because if we don't get good at experiencing all emotions, then we really can't handle it and your body can't even self regulate, like just at a nervous system level. You can't self regulate. And I see this too with our kiddos and screens, that because they can hop on a screen when they're feeling any emotion or board or anything, they haven't really figured out how to just sit with an emotion and allow it and allow it to pass or think about it or solve for it. So it's this toxic positivity culture that we should always feel happy that has us picking up all these additional buffers.
Speaker 1:I also see toxic positivity being used against people, and we use it against ourselves too, where when we go to somebody and we say we need help, they can say to us well, you know, are you believing hard enough? And I think it comes from a loving place where people want to help others be the author of their lives, and so they will tell you, like you know what, where in it was your fault and how did you play a part in it and how can you be better. And I understand the sentiment behind it, but I think those questions are for us. I think when other people come to us and they're struggling, that's where we get to exhibit empathy. So here's a quote by Wallace Waddles, who is a law of attraction founder, and I think it really shows how, if we lean too far into this idea of the law of attraction, of the secret of toxic positivity, we often lose our ability to be empaths, to be empathetic to other people, and it invalidates other people's experience.
Speaker 1:He says do not talk about poverty, do not investigate it, do not concern yourself with it, do not spend your time in charitable work or charity movements. Charity only tends to perpetuate the wretchedness it aims to eradicate and give your attention wholly to riches. Ignore poverty, right. So that's like a perfect example of using toxic positivity to invalidate somebody else's experience. How can we lean in and help people and be there for other people while we're at the same time believing that we have to surround ourselves with positive people and only feel positive about every situation.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I really love about the model is that if the circumstance is neutral, I can feel however I want to feel about it, and it's also totally normal and even healthy to not feel positive about every situation. I don't want to feel positive about poverty in the world. I don't want to feel positive when my husband and I are arguing. I don't want to feel happy when my child is sad. I think there are emotions that don't always serve us, but there's a time and a place for all emotions, right, because at any point, at any time, any emotion can be a teacher. It can be a chance for us to get good at experiencing that emotion. So, even if it's not serving us and motivating us to take our best action, it's a teacher, and in this situation, with poverty being the thing he's saying to stay away from, we don't allow ourselves the opportunity to feel empathy, which I think is one of the greatest growth emotions.
Speaker 1:Empathy is, I think, a gift that we get from a life experience of challenges, and I don't think life was meant to be great all the time. One of the areas I see this also happen, this toxic positivity when it comes to kind of being used against us or against others, is this idea of the prosperity gospel. It's an evangelical idea, but it basically says that if you are righteous, you will also be physically wealthy, financially free, financially set up, and in the same token, it also tells us that if somebody is not financially comfortable, that they are not righteous. Right, and I don't think you believe that, and if you do, that's fine. But I don't subscribe to that idea.
Speaker 1:I think ownership is a tool we can use. It's a tool we can use when it serves us to take the next right, best step. But we can really easily use it against others by saying, hey, you need to take ownership for where you're at, but we have to pay attention to what are we doing when we try to teach someone else ownership. Are we being empathetic? Are we being the best version of ourselves? Are we taking ownership for our feelings? When we need somebody else to take ownership or to be positive, why? Why does it bother us that they aren't feeling positive? And that's the thing we need to take a look at is what are our thoughts about their negative experience. Why is it a problem that you know most of the world is living way below poverty and we're over here thriving. That's something we should take a look at, right. Maybe that's something that will inspire you to do more, to be better, to show up differently in your life, to waste less or serve more.
Speaker 1:I want those emotions that tug at my heart or that open my eyes. I think a lot of these ideas of toxic positivity comes from privilege. I think somebody who offers toxic positivity in your life is already doing really well. Right, they're higher than you in your upline in an MLM, or they are not poor. Right, they're telling you that you've created the poverty in your life, or they're not a minority and they're telling you that you're attracting what you're putting out there. So it really does show our privilege when we try to encourage someone else to take ownership of their life. I'm trying to show people how they can take ownership of their experience of life so they can take the next best step, and also teaching you guys how to feel all emotion so they can be your teacher, so you can experience them with less pain, less downtime, less sorrow, and not compound are already kind of tumultuous physiology from just the world we live in and add negative emotion that we don't need to be feeling onto our current depression, etc. So that's kind of my role.
Speaker 1:Here's another example that I have here from Rhonda Byrne, and she says this in the movie the Secret. She says if you see people who are overweight, do not observe them. If you think or talk about disease, you will become sick. What you think or surround yourself with good or bad is what you will bring upon yourself. And again, it doesn't allow us to feel empathy or to be around people, because it's basically saying that feeling negative emotion is not good.
Speaker 1:And getting over here to hustle culture, this idea that doing more will also bring you wealth physical wealth, emotional wealth, all of that. And I think that this idea of hustling comes from at its root, the idea of valuing time, that time is money and that time is productivity, and being productive equals your worth. And so many of us have this deep seated belief that what we accomplish creates our worth. I mean it comes from all kinds of things outside of us the way we're talked to about sports or about our education or about our goals and from no fault of the people who are trying to encourage us. Oftentimes our worth is lumped together with how productive we are, with how much we get done, but that's okay, except that we also have this idea that our productivity is about how much time we put in, and that's not the case If you look at the model, right in the circumstance line, if we put the amount of time you put into something, it will not create your result by itself.
Speaker 1:So if I put in 40 hours of work but my belief is I suck, this isn't going to work, I'm not good enough, then my feeling might be desperation. Okay, and even though I'm putting in 40 hours, every time someone asks me about my program, I'm going to act like I'm begging them to be part of a program because, remember, desperation is the feeling driving my conversation. How am I supposed to tell people how I can help them if I'm begging them to pay me right? How are they supposed to feel that equal exchange of value If I'm making it sound like I'm going to give you this little thing, but I really need you to come give me your money? Do you guys see this? So time does not equal productivity.
Speaker 1:Productivity might create wealth, but it also does not equal your worth, and that's where I think we sometimes show up in this hustle culture like just doing more, because hustling is so much easier than fostering belief or getting awareness of our emotions and our thoughts. So, while there's more than just thoughts, I do think hustling is easier. It's I'm going to show it more, I'm just going to clean my house more and I could feel better. Right, I'm just going to read a parenting book and parent my kids better, and then our house will be happier. Or when I reach this amount in my business, I can finally be calm and be present.
Speaker 1:It's this idea of delayed gratification that the joy is always on the other side of this change circumstance. And it's not because you'll bring your brain with you when you get there and you'll have the same exact thoughts about your new circumstance of a higher income or happier kids or more friends that live down the street, whatever you thought would make you happier or make your kids happier. Your brain will come with you and offer you a new thought or a similar thought about this new situation and you will feel the same way. So it is worth taking the time now to figure out what emotions are you feeling now about your current circumstance, feeling those emotions, leaning into them and then questioning those thoughts that you have and seeing if you really still believe those thoughts.
Speaker 1:Because I have found that many of you, when you question your thoughts and you get some kind of awareness around what you're thinking about your current situation, you realize that the thoughts you have you don't actually believe. You don't actually believe that doing more means you're worth more. A lot of you believe that your worth is inherent, or else you believe it about your kids, or you believe it about your spouse or your mom or someone you love, that their worth does not improve because they got first place in their swimming meet. That's really easy to believe about our kids. So when we hold that thought in the light next to another thought like I have to do more so that I'm worthy, or have to have a clean house when my husband gets home so I'm worthy we realize like I don't actually believe that I don't actually believe my worth is determined by how much I do.
Speaker 1:And it kinda helps us reduce this idea of hustle culture and hustling is also just a band-aid. It's the same thing as taking a deep breath and holding our breath while standing in a pile of manure. We can't do it for very long. It's exhausting. It's also really exhausting to take action in opposition to the way you're feeling. So if you feel like you're not enough and then you're just hustling and showing up anyway, that's exhausting and you won't be able to do it very long.
Speaker 1:So hustle culture and toxic positivity is probably something you're seeing in some area of your life and I just want you to take some stock, look around, get some awareness. Where do I see these things showing up and is it useful? If you guys want more help with this, if you feel like you're either trying to outrun the negative emotion or outthink it by feeling more positively all the time, I want you to come get a free coaching call with me. It is a no pressure call. I am not here to sell you on my program. I just want to coach you on what you're either trying to do or trying to think instead of feeling or looking at your current thoughts.
Speaker 1:Okay, those are the two solutions to hustle culture and toxic positivity. It is feeling your emotions instead of trying to outrun them, or it is examining your current thinking instead of just slapping a positive thought on top of it, and I can absolutely help you with that and I would love to help you with that, especially if you are in a high demand religion or an MLM, or you're a busy mom or your husband doesn't understand what it's like being a mom at home Any of those situations I got you. I would love to help you. Just take a look at your thoughts, without offering my opinion about what you are supposed to do or think that part you guys do not need. You don't need anybody else's opinion. You need someone to help you take a look at your thoughts, and I got you. I can help you do that. So I cannot wait for our next episode.
Speaker 1:It is so good. It is the Christian sex educator, so don't forget to subscribe so that you guys can be notified when that one comes out. Also, if you are liking the podcast, or even loving it, go down below and leave a review. That is how people find us and this stuff cannot be unlearned. It is too good and people need it, so don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. I hope you guys have an amazing week. I'll talk to you next time, bye-bye. If you have questions about anything you've learned here on the podcast or want help with something going on in your own life. Hop on a free coaching call with me. In just 30 minutes you'll have real tools for your unique situation. Go to limitlessfemalecoachingcom. Forward slash workwithme, or you can find a link in the show notes below. Spots are limited, so grab one before you miss it.